MJTV: Fester Gets a Mystery Package
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FunTranscript
00:01Ladies and gentlemen, the mystery package.
00:06Mystery.
00:07Mystery.
00:09Froggy, can I get you to get in on the action over here?
00:11Mystery?
00:12Yeah, thank you.
00:13It's great.
00:14All right.
00:15Fester, you didn't order anything from Amazon.
00:17I did not.
00:18I don't even have an Amazon account.
00:19My wife does all the ordering.
00:21Oh, my God.
00:22You don't know what that is?
00:24I have no idea what this package is.
00:25We go into the morning show office after the show,
00:27and there's this box on our desk.
00:29Don't open it.
00:32Don't touch it.
00:33Mystery package.
00:34I'm holding the box right now.
00:36Oh, my.
00:36You're dead.
00:37Well, dude, you're three feet away from me.
00:39I'm dead.
00:40I can't see you because you're blocked by monitors,
00:41but you're...
00:42You know what?
00:43The monitors might take the shrapnel.
00:45All right.
00:45So, folks, this is what's going on.
00:49I'm holding a box.
00:54Mystery box.
00:56Mystery box.
00:57Mystery.
00:59Mystery.
00:59All right.
01:00Now...
01:00We really beat the hell out of the word mystery around here.
01:02I'm a little relieved, or I'm not quite as on guard,
01:07and I try to be on guard.
01:09You know, being in this business,
01:10you never know what's going to come at you.
01:11But it is from Amazon.
01:14So, it does say Amazon 172 Trade Street, Lexington, Kentucky.
01:19There's a big Amazon fulfillment center there, obviously.
01:22It did come UPS ground, the 1Z343, blah, blah, blah.
01:27Then it has another sticker on here.
01:29It is addressed to Fester.
01:32And Fester, obviously, is not having packages delivered to Fester, typically.
01:37If you order it yourself, it's going to be to your real name, Dominic Siciliano.
01:40Right.
01:40This is addressed to Fester, here at the radio station.
01:45It arrived here, and I'm pretty confident that this is an Amazon package.
01:51So, as I shake the box, and the box is what?
01:54Probably about a foot.
01:57Yeah, 12 inches by 10 inches, maybe?
01:58Yeah, maybe 12 by 10 by maybe, you know, 3 inches thick on this box.
02:02All right, so, if I shake the box.
02:06It looks like a book box or something like that.
02:09Well, nothing, there is something floating around in the box, because you can hear it.
02:13But don't break it.
02:14All right, let us open the box.
02:15Hang on a minute.
02:16I didn't order anything.
02:18I didn't order anything.
02:18Fester didn't order this.
02:19So, the obvious deduction is that a listener sent this to the radio station.
02:25So, I am going to open up the cardboard.
02:35Okay.
02:36Oh, my God.
02:37All right.
02:37And, oh, there are wires sticking out.
02:41No, come on.
02:42No, I'm kidding.
02:42I'm joking.
02:44Is it ticking?
02:46There's a powder.
02:48Oh, Fester, look at this.
02:51What did they send me?
02:52It is a box of Stevia.
02:56Oh, God.
02:57Of course.
02:58It is a box, 140 packets of Splendid Naturals Stevia Zero Calorie Sweetener.
03:05Oh, let me see that.
03:07That's awesome.
03:08Whoever sent it, thank you.
03:09There you go.
03:10Look at that.
03:10All right.
03:11And the reason why somebody sent the Stevia is because, was it earlier this week that
03:16Fester revealed?
03:19I didn't reveal.
03:20I kind of got outed.
03:20Yeah, all right.
03:21Fester was outed.
03:22That whoever goes to a convenience store, Fester requires them to grab a whole handful of
03:30the artificial sweetener Stevia at, like, the coffee supply.
03:34If you go to Wawa, you go to 7-Eleven, where they have all the coffee set up.
03:39Fester asked Coop, our producer, to grab handfuls of artificial sweetener.
03:45And Fester's got hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of packets.
03:48And Coop was asked to rip stuff off.
03:51I have a big problem with this.
03:52The word require is not the right word.
03:54I politely ask my friends, hey, if you're going to go to a convenience store or one of
03:57these coffee places, just pocket me, like, 50 or 60 Stevia packets.
04:01For what?
04:01Steal Stevia.
04:02For what?
04:02Because we don't have it here in the office.
04:04All we have here is that pink stuff, and I don't like that, so I want to keep it in the
04:07office.
04:07You don't need to stockpile that much.
04:09Not anymore, thanks to this listener.
04:12A listener clearly, excuse me, a listener clearly sent Fester a box of Stevia so people
04:17don't need to steal it for him.
04:19Unbelievable.
04:21This 140 packets, this will save Wawa for about a week of MeTV.