Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about an angry old man defending his lawn in Florida from dog poop which leads to a discussion of Lisa's pets and how they are very proper.
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00:00so this senior this old guy
00:07armed with a water gun
00:10filled with his own urine
00:12it's piss
00:13it's mine
00:15it's my juice
00:18oh god
00:19don't say that
00:21my juice
00:22my sauce
00:23he squirted a woman several times
00:29as she was walking her dog in front of his place
00:33oh so is he just
00:34mad about the dog pooping on his lawn
00:37that's exactly what it is
00:38never heard of a revenge tactic like that
00:40nope oh your dog's gonna poop in my lawn
00:42well I'm gonna pee all over you
00:44only an old guy comes up with this
00:46only an old guy that looks like this
00:48yeah it's a special kind of an old guy
00:50to be honest the woman's kind of lucky
00:52he didn't shoot her dead
00:54yeah I'll take your hot piss on me rather than a bullet
00:56because guys just like this have shot
00:59people
00:59for lesser things
01:01music too loud
01:02they've shot a whole group of people
01:04still don't want to walk by someone's house
01:06and have their pee on you
01:07you really don't
01:08shot on you
01:09I get it
01:09it's not ideal
01:10I would at least in her cute little jacket
01:12walking Molly
01:13never be the same
01:14Molly wants
01:14no
01:15Molly doesn't deserve that
01:17no no
01:18she's proper you know
01:19she's a proper
01:20this is me when I'm a senior citizen
01:22I know that's what I was thinking
01:24except I'm doing more primal with it
01:26I'm not squirting them with my urine
01:27I'm throwing my feces at you
01:29I was gonna say
01:29poop slingshot
01:31yeah
01:31a poopapult
01:32I'm gonna build a poop catapult
01:35or I'm just gonna go do it the old fashioned way
01:37and squat right down your porch
01:38yeah the scantapult
01:39the scantapult
01:40James has a scantapult
01:41everybody run
01:42run
01:43man a scantapult
01:44he's a scantapult
01:45scantapult loaded
01:46now
01:47launch
01:48fire
01:48the trebuch
01:49even though Molly's really proper
01:51one time I took her for a walk
01:52and she pooped in the middle of the street
01:54you're like that is not ladylike
01:56even a lady has her moment Lisa
01:58because she was trying to tell me
01:59I don't want to go for a walk
02:00she's like I'm just gonna get this over with
02:02right here
02:03we're gonna end this right now
02:05this lady duff protest
02:06what are you doing
02:09is this what you wanted
02:10is this what you wanted
02:11now take me back to my room
02:12pamper me
02:15sometimes she'll just stop
02:16and sit
02:17sit there
02:18and other times she just poops in the streets
02:20I don't know what came over me
02:25I just was feeling like such an animal
02:28I am sorry
02:32I am quite embarrassed
02:34of my behavior
02:34would you mind straightening my ball
02:37I apologize for embarrassing you like it
02:41I guess in the future
02:43you should know
02:44not to take me out
02:45in this sweltering
02:46I tried to show you with my eyes
02:49because I don't so much talk
02:50in your language
02:51but you didn't get it
02:53so then I had to do
02:54what I had to do
02:55she strikes me as one of those dogs
02:56you know there are those dogs
02:57that won't poop
02:58while you're looking at them
02:59I feel like if Lisa took Molly
03:08to like kind of a formal event
03:10and like Molly wasn't as dressed up
03:11as she wanted to be
03:12she'd be like
03:13I didn't even know it was formal wear
03:15you have got to take me home
03:18right now
03:19so I can have the proper
03:20change my bow
03:21this bow is more of a midday bow
03:25not so much an evening bow
03:27get me out of here
03:30like a common troll
03:31a common troll
03:36a right bitch
03:37it's true
03:41she'll poop right on the floor
03:43she gives
03:43just from looking at pictures
03:45she gives that impression
03:46she does
03:46she's super proper
03:47I feel like
03:49you know
03:50it's cause Lisa got Molly
03:51so it's one of those things
03:53like Molly had a life before
03:54and then she's got the post
03:56Lisa life
03:56I think
03:57like stuff changed for her
03:59I think it got kicked up a notch
03:59oh it got kicked up
04:00stuff changed for her
04:01got kicked up
04:02she's got used to the lifestyle
04:03oh she is
04:04very pampered
04:06do you have any
04:10gray poop on
04:11well yes I do
04:13this organic beef
04:15you're feeding me
04:15could use a little something
04:17yeah I think her life
04:18is switched
04:19changed yeah
04:20yeah oh for sure
04:21cause you do get her special food
04:24and yeah all you take care of
04:26more like Lou
04:26sleeps in a blanket
04:28you know
04:31my word
04:32these other cats
04:34are just crazy
04:35oh my god
04:37I have my own bed
04:38with my own covers
04:39I don't even think
04:40some of these cats
04:41have outdoor tents
04:42I have never seen
04:44another cat
04:44with an outdoor tent
04:45I have my own
04:46outdoor palace
04:47I don't believe
04:48they're living
04:49the right way
04:51I'll tell you
04:52all the animals
04:53could get them
04:54they're not protected
04:55in a tent
04:56the other day
04:57I sat in my tent
04:58and I watched
04:59a groundhog
05:00it was hilarious
05:02what an animal
05:03what a crazy creature
05:06such a mistake
05:07like when Lisa leaves
05:11they crank up
05:12the classical music
05:12and they sit in their chairs
05:14and they read their books
05:15until she returns
05:16Lou has a pipe
05:17yeah absolutely
05:19Molly's got a dressing gown on
05:21well James got him a tie
05:23oh yeah man
05:24they got Lou ready
05:25to go to work
05:25that's true
05:26he's a professional
05:27and whereas Jameson
05:29who also has a set of ties
05:30I feel like
05:31he's like
05:31get me out of this thing
05:32yeah
05:32you know
05:33he's like a little gangster
05:34who's forced to wear a tie
05:35right he's like
05:36I don't like this
05:36I'm from the streets
05:37I'm a golden noodles
05:39right out of
05:40I'm basically from hell
05:41he thinks he's a little golden dude
05:45from hell
05:45and then he wears his little tie
05:48and mock dress shirt
05:49yeah little bitties
05:50would get along with Molly
05:52I think
05:52they'd just like
05:53play glasses
05:53could you mind turning up the show pan
05:57because I do like this song
06:00I feel like the arrangement is very good
06:02Hershey would kick the door in
06:04he's a frat boy
06:05he's like
06:06he brought the keg
06:07oh my god
06:12I got six pizzas
06:13oh dear
06:14he eats all the food
06:16oh give me that food
06:17he's eating everything
06:18is he a dog or a pig
06:20I don't know
06:21my word
06:23cretin
06:25what are you ladies up to
06:29what do you think Hershey
06:30we're laying here pondering
06:33got any food
06:34of course we do Hershey
06:36you got any bones
06:37no
06:39Hershey we don't have
06:40you got any bull dicks
06:41he just asked us for bull dicks
06:45you guys don't eat those
06:46those are delicious
06:47bull dicks
06:47that's all I want to eat
06:48he's quite fascinating to watch
06:51I know you guys got bull dicks
06:53Lisa gave me some
06:56she didn't like them
06:57you are a hoot
06:58of course she didn't like them
07:01oh my goodness Lisa
07:02well I didn't like them
07:03I guess that's what it was
07:04I believe you might have given me
07:07I'm going to whisper this
07:08a bull dick
07:10the penis of a bull
07:12I hate to say this
07:15I don't want to be crazy about things
07:19yeah
07:19Hershey's got six of them in his mouth
07:21I like that bull dicky flavor
07:24he does
07:25he loves it
07:26trust me you'd want to be one of Lisa's pampered pets
07:29there is no question about that
07:30that's how to do it
07:31if you can do it
07:32if you can do it
07:32if you can do it
07:33if you can do it
07:33if you can do it
07:33if you can do it
07:34if you can do it
07:34if you can do it
07:34if you can do it