Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about what life would be like if Chuck had a few "extra inches".
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FunTranscript
00:00the florida man yelling about the size of his dick while in a hospital bed
00:15was arrested after pulling his pants down to show it off look at it look look at it
00:21look look at it the police took kenneth snyder into custody at three in the morning here's this
00:28guy's picture after he began yelling about the size of his penis doesn't it seem like he's actually
00:34yelling about his penis in that photo itself like i don't think he's done yelling about it
00:38i'll tell you if mine like if i woke up and it grew three inches you would be doing the same
00:43screaming about it he's saying quit taking my picture of my face take a picture of my wiener
00:47put the camera lower look at it
00:49oh my god i'd be so excited you know like puberty finally kicked in for me
01:02yeah like the first time you find a pube your first yeah oh my god i finally made it yeah
01:07you would be on the top of this building like swinging it
01:11oh my god yeah i'd actually i'd be i'd be swinging off the radio tower like tarzan
01:20oh my god in a loincloth that shows everything he'd come in here with the tightest pants on
01:32your eyes would be huge you'd have that look and then you'd have that grin that you get
01:36there and i just think you'd have this music would be playing as he walked down the hallway
01:41the door opens to the hallway of the riff hallway
01:48and he'd have this whole new swagger about him don't you think
01:55oh the tightest of pants
02:06the fattest of bellies
02:11doesn't matter
02:14you'd be pretty happy oh dude it would be like a chuck we've never met before of course but i'd
02:21have to scream it i'd have to be talking about it i feel like you'd walk in and usually you come in
02:26through my room before you go in the studio and instead of saying hi you just like put it over my
02:30shoulder oh yeah like looks funny though it's still several inches smaller than dave's yeah you're
02:36like hey i got three inches extra on my dick this morning and then you show me i'm like that's
02:40three extra inches on that yeah exactly oh that would crush you no if you whipped it out for lease and
02:45she was like is it can you fire it up for me yeah and she's like oh geez something that will never
02:52happen she's like a dream crusher she's such a dream crusher well is she crushing that my dick's
02:59not gonna grow can you fire it up for me oh it's not gonna be the quote that i would you know i'll be
03:06saying that yeah i'm i don't know what will happen with your your dicks but i know that i won't be
03:13asking you to fire them up for me that's all i can say you know what it would be a hell of a
03:19morning though i'll tell you that and then equally as sad if it like went away oh if it was just a
03:25temporary thing oh man and then this is the music that plays when he comes back down the riff hallway
03:32hey guys chuck what's going on my dick went away last night i woke up and it's back to normal
03:39it's supposed to be just like every other day that chuck walks in this is the music
03:47this is the music that plays when i wake up every day your whole life theme this is my life theme song
03:57my eyes open
04:00i pull the covers off myself
04:02i struggle to get my fat ass up and i get in the shower and of course
04:12the bar of soap's too small
04:15keeps slipping out of my hands and falls on the ground
04:19and then the towel i picked doesn't dry you very well
04:23poor poor chuck chuck's normal day
04:27chuck's everyday soundtrack
04:30i look for a shirt i can't find anything that fits
04:34my jeans are too tight
04:38and i go downstairs
04:41take my long drive 45 minute drive to work with my thoughts
04:48several cars cut me off
04:53two guys give me the finger and
04:57cop tries to pull me over
05:01i can't breathe
05:02then there's traffic
05:06oh trust me you'd know if it grew through inches because
05:09we'd know oh we totally know
05:11i'd be like get me to a beach
05:17first time you ever said that in your life
05:18exactly exactly get me somewhere tropical
05:23asap in your speedo oh yeah
05:27instead i'm sitting in the rain
05:32car won't start ran out of gas
05:36this is chuck's everyday music
05:39day in the life of chuck the free
05:40yeah that's bad with regular penis
05:44right there oh man