Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about a woman who bit her boyfriends tongue off in an argument and the show recreates how hard it would be for him to talk.
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00:00All right, off to Grand Rapids now,
00:10where a story about a woman losing her mind on her boyfriend.
00:14She took it a little too far.
00:15Aaron Hallowell just wanted to kiss and make up.
00:17His girlfriend had other ideas, though.
00:20She bit part of his tongue off during a fight in their Northwest Grand Rapids apartment.
00:26The 29-year-old woman is charged with a 10-year felony of mayhem.
00:32It's like the Canadian charge of mischief.
00:34It's even more.
00:35But worse.
00:36Mayhem.
00:37I've never even heard of it.
00:39It's not clear how much of his tongue was bitten off in the fight.
00:43During the hearing, however, a prosecutor showed him a photo,
00:46apparently taken by police investigating it,
00:48in which he's holding a piece of his tongue in his hand.
00:51That piece could not be reattached.
00:54Jesus.
00:54When are we going to be thucky right now?
00:57He was able to speak fairly well.
01:00At the court hearing.
01:03Sir, can you describe what happened on that night?
01:06I'm not really keen on talking about it, but let me tell you.
01:14We're in a fight.
01:15Next thing I know,
01:17that my tongue bit off and that I'm holding a piece of my tongue in my hand.
01:23And, well, I'm really glad I can actually still talk,
01:28but it's not, it couldn't be reattached.
01:33So, there's a few different sounds I can make anymore.
01:38So there's definite long-term impact then on your speech.
01:41I'm pretty sure I'm never going to have sex again.
01:44Really?
01:44And why would you believe that, sir?
01:46Oh, well, because, uh, listen to me.
01:50Um, that's how I sound now.
01:54And also my, um,
01:57Funderwingers game
01:58has taken a real, real hit.
02:03You know what I'm...
02:04I'm sorry, just to clarify,
02:05you no longer believe you'll be able to...
02:07I can't go down on a chick at all.
02:11I mean, honestly...
02:12Even with, not with that tongue nubbing?
02:14That's all I got is the tongue nubbing.
02:17I mean, it's, um...
02:18Excuse me, no, he cannot.
02:22Expert testimony here from a, uh,
02:24woman on the end of the funneling.
02:26A tongue nubbing.
02:27They just get, they get, like, an ex,
02:28like a woman, a funnelingus expert.
02:31She's like,
02:31Your Honor, this tongue is completely useless
02:34to, uh, to a slitterist.
02:40There's not, I mean,
02:41it's not going to do anything.
02:43I didn't say that.
02:44An expected...
02:45That's not a selling point.
02:47A tongue.
02:48No, all right, daddy.
02:49Pop no panty doll.
02:50Listen.
02:51Listen.
02:52I'm gonna...
02:53Listen.
02:53Lay down,
02:56cause I'm gonna...
02:57I'm gonna go down now.
03:00I'm gonna blow your mind.
03:03Let me...
03:03Let me know if you feel anything.
03:09Okay?
03:09Oh, boy.
03:11Here we go.
03:13There'd be no action to it either.
03:16It would just be sort of like...
03:17Oh, my God.
03:20Oh, that is...
03:21So, you said, I was like,
03:22No!
03:24No, he can't.
03:24Back to the testimony.
03:25There's also some words or things you can no longer do.
03:28I'm still fingering now.
03:30What I can tell.
03:31What I can't.
03:32I'm sorry.
03:33Turn down.
03:34I can't whistle anytime.
03:35Don't worry, you too.
03:36Can you whistle?
03:39Yeah.
03:40Whistling's fine.
03:41But, um...
03:42But it's more about talking.
03:44You know?
03:45If whistling got weighties,
03:47I would be fine.
03:48But, um...
03:49Chicks hate whistles.
03:51So, uh...
03:52What they like is kind of wingus
03:55and also a guy who talks normal.
03:59So, uh...
04:01Both of those is not me.
04:03And we understand you're confined to eating just soft foods now.
04:07Well, until the...
04:08Until my tongue heals,
04:10it's really hard
04:11because everything I put in my mouth really hurts really bad.
04:15I got my tongue bit off.
04:16You know what I'm saying?
04:17No, I absolutely...
04:19I understand.
04:19That's very clear.
04:21What kind of soft foods are you enjoying?
04:24Pudding by now.
04:25Pudding.
04:25I plan on becoming about 800 pounds now because...
04:31Well, you can't eat an ice cream cone.
04:33Not the cone,
04:34but I can eat the ice cream.
04:37I can't wick it, though.
04:40What can't you do?
04:41I can't wick it.
04:43I got to just sort of chomp on it with my whips.
04:48That's messy.
04:50Super messy.
04:51It gets a real dwippy
04:52because I can't get any of the dwips.
04:55You know?
04:56Oh, you can't lick up anything on your face, right?
04:59Can't I get the dwips on the cone,
05:00you know, when it's starting to melt?
05:02Yeah.
05:02And you got to get the bottom?
05:03Yeah.
05:03Yeah, that's not for me.
05:05And I can sometimes...
05:07I guess I have to put my bottom lip on it.
05:12Wife is different.
05:13Life has really changed for you, sir.
05:14Wife is really sucking, guys.
05:17So you believe she should serve the full 10 years behind bars
05:20for what she did to you?
05:21Yeah.
05:22Yeah.
05:23Yes.
05:23I think we should put her to death.
05:25Oh.
05:26I'm never going to have sex again.
05:30She deserves to die.
05:31Well, I'm sure you'll find someone.
05:34I wish you the best.
05:35Yeah, I should be able to find a nice girl
05:38who talks exactly like me.
05:40That's what I want.
05:43You know, I was normal two weeks ago, right?
05:47So, um, not really what I was looking forward to in life.
05:53I understand, sir.
05:54Thanks for your time.
05:56All right.
05:57See you later.
05:57See you later.