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  • 2 days ago
Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about strange hazing practices which leads to Chuck sharing a story of what ended his friendship with Eugene.

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Fun
Transcript
00:00A high school coach, Ferris High School, has been suspended.
00:12Jim Sharkey is his name.
00:13After allegations that he exposed himself to football players at a football camp last summer.
00:19Now, what does that mean?
00:21Well, he whipped his dick out, but he went further than that.
00:23A couple of weeks after the camp, a player came forward and said that while the coach was grilling hot dogs for the guys,
00:30he turned around with his dick inside a hot dog bun.
00:34Oh, the old hot dog bun.
00:36And said, you think that's a big dog? Take a look at this.
00:40You can't do that.
00:41You can't do that, no.
00:43And the worst of all, though, is that on his watch as his head football coach,
00:49there would be a hazing ritual called juicing.
00:52Oh, yeah?
00:53People come forward saying that four or five times players would gang up and dogpile a player on his birthday
01:00and they would shove their fingers up his ass, something they called juicing.
01:04Yeah.
01:06Ooh.
01:09Well, this guy looks like one of those, I don't think he's, I mean, who knows what his,
01:13he looks more like a douchey frat guy to me.
01:16You know, like that's a joke to him.
01:17Now, the wiener and the hot dog, like.
01:20That's crazy.
01:21That's crazy.
01:22That seems like a move that you would do to like a, like a chick you're already banging
01:28and to try and be funny or something if you had a big one or whatever, but people.
01:33Who puts their dick in a hot dog bun?
01:35That's crazy.
01:36It's a wild move.
01:36I mean, I.
01:37I can't.
01:39What, do I want to halfway fill up a hot dog bun?
01:42Yeah.
01:42They make smaller buns now for kids.
01:46I need a cocktail, cocktail wiener bun.
01:48Um, this person texted mine in a, like, thing of hot dog wiener, like the appetizer.
01:54I don't know.
01:54Cocktail wieners.
01:55It's trying to come up with a small dick joke.
02:01It's just lost it.
02:02Lost it.
02:05Lisa's like, eh, well.
02:07We can live without another small dick joke.
02:08She tried to help with that one.
02:09She's trying to save me.
02:10Let me guess.
02:12Pig in a blanket.
02:15Jesus.
02:17These small dicks all around me.
02:22We were, like, playing a game for a minute.
02:24Like, you know.
02:24I was like, my brain couldn't do it.
02:27I'm small dick joke.
02:28All you couldn't remember was appetizer.
02:29Yeah.
02:31Lisa hit a buzzer and was like, pig in a blanket.
02:38Cocktail wieners.
02:40A little smoky.
02:43Mini dogs.
02:45When I was in high school, this went down with the football team, because I remember
02:48somebody ratted on the football team.
02:49I'm telling you, dude.
02:50They were shoving parking cones up people's asses.
02:52What?
02:53And I thought that was only something that was in a Billy Madison movie or an Adam
02:55Sandler movie that they joked about.
02:57No, man.
02:57This seems pretty hard to do.
03:00You know, I think, honestly, I really think the only thing that stopped it with us is,
03:06like, I was, my best buddy was like, what'd you say?
03:11Lisa trying to break this down.
03:13She's like, that would seem really hard to do.
03:17It's not that hard.
03:18I think, yeah, I think it would be difficult.
03:20I think you're also picturing, like, a big enormous parking cone like you would see in
03:24a construction site.
03:25It's usually the smaller ones that you would check down on the old ones.
03:29He's like, I'm going to get the size of the cone.
03:31This is like, I've seen parking cones.
03:35Not that big of a cone.
03:36Okay, it's a smaller cone.
03:37Smaller.
03:38Yeah, I'll chance.
03:39Smaller than a football cone.
03:40I still wouldn't want one of those little cones up there.
03:42I would love if she took it, like, a minute to process it, like, traffic cone up the b-hole.
03:48Like, that's a huge aim.
03:50That would seem really hard to do.
03:53You're right, Lisa.
03:54Is anyone with me here?
03:56No, but I'm telling you, I really think the only reason that, like, juicing or shaving
04:01of nuts, I think that was our big fear, that they were going to hold us down and shave
04:05our nuts, which is also quite gay.
04:09It always involves gay stuff.
04:10You know, it does.
04:11It always does.
04:13And, but, like, my best buddy growing up, he was the toughest guy.
04:18One of the toughest guys in the whole city.
04:21And stuff just kind of just didn't happen, you know?
04:24Like, amazingly, it was like, well, we don't want to die.
04:27This was after the Eugene days?
04:31Yes.
04:32Yeah.
04:32You went from nerd to athlete.
04:34It was the Eugene.
04:35Yeah.
04:35I was very strange.
04:37Like, I was friends with both sides.
04:39Oh.
04:39Jocks and nerds.
04:40Yeah.
04:41After the Eugene days.
04:42So Lisa's made a timeline of Chuck's life.
04:45And her mind.
04:46Yes, from hefty kid in corduroy's to Eugene in ninth grade.
04:51To athlete.
04:51Lisa.
04:52In ninth grade, French class.
04:55Yes.
04:55When Eugene's leg fell asleep.
04:58And he tried to get up and fell down in front of everybody.
05:01And his name was Eugene.
05:03You couldn't be his friend.
05:05Oh, no.
05:06You abandoned Eugene.
05:06That was the end of your friendship?
05:08Oh, no.
05:10Chuck, I can't believe you abandoned Eugene.
05:12You turned your back on Eugene.
05:14Can you demonstrate how it happened?
05:15Like, did he stand up and just fell to the ground?
05:18He fell right down.
05:19Like, I can't because it will hurt really bad.
05:22You just let them lay in there, huh?
05:25Adios.
05:25Oh, my God.
05:26Like, it's au revoir.
05:27I couldn't believe it.
05:28I thought he died.
05:29Like, it looked like he died.
05:32And I looked down and I'm like, Eugene.
05:35And he's like, my leg fell asleep.
05:39And that's when you were like, I don't know him.
05:41There's no recovery.
05:44Have you guys ever tried walking with your legs asleep, though?
05:47It is not.
05:47Oh, it's horrible.
05:48No, you look like you're challenged.
05:50Yeah.
05:51And his was from his hip all the way down asleep.
05:56What class was this in?
05:57Grade 9 French.
05:59And it's like that Eugene anymore.
06:00The Eugene timeline.
06:01It's like the B.C. and A.D. to Lisa.
06:03Was this pre or post Eugene?
06:06Yeah.
06:10It would have been A.E.
06:12After Eugene.
06:13After Eugene.
06:14All right.

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