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00:00gemaaktãy subscribe cho kênh La La School Để không bỏ lỡ những video hấp dẫn
00:30so how bad is it it's not looking good sir you were photographed leaving the restaurant with a
00:46linda clap so miss clap turns out to be a member of the oldest profession she's a plumber no sir
00:53a hooker oh well what are we gonna do we need a distraction great are we getting a dvd or are
01:01we going bowling we're going to ireland sir ireland it's in europe and with the help of some of
01:08hollywood's finest screenwriters we've made you more irish than bing crosby you'll need to familiarize
01:13yourself with this killin a scully cool that's not my office no sir who let the dog out who let the dog
01:34excuse me sir let's pass can you tell me the quickest way to get to kill in a scully
01:42kill the scully you're walking or driving sir driving all right that'll definitely be the quickest way
01:47if people don't mind we might kick off with a short prayer huh certainly better
01:56lord thanks for sending us in a manner of speaking a guardian angel in the person of
02:05president madison and his extensive entourage with their liberal expense accounts not to
02:11mention the attending media attendance the publicity generators and the subsequent bed nights
02:18anticipated especially with the low visitor account over the previous years amen
02:23now fellow killin scullions i have three words for ye here tonight
02:32preparation preparation preparation preparation
02:39what's it this time larry that's one word is that right well i repeated it three times for the purpose
02:51of emphasizing but that's typical you isn't it larry cummins coming in here on election year and trying to
02:58make a political football out of the proposed presidential visit by the u.s president of the united states
03:04i think is absolutely disgusting and i call here and now through the chair that you larry cummins retract those scullmous accusations
03:12sorry
03:16now if we could get on with the agenda at hand reverend feather sorry about that
03:23the agenda that i think is important um to say thank you very much thank you very much
03:29thank you very much thank you very much thanks willie the welcoming committee is under the joint chairmanship of myself
03:34and councillor willie power the all-important security committee will be headed up by sergeant o'toole
03:42and councillor willie power decorations committee uh will be chaired by deeter and willie power
03:50Sorry, Farrell, you forgot one committee, the clean-up committee, which will be chaired by Larry Cummins.
03:59If you don't mind me saying, Larry, we'll expect a better job than the one after the Tidy Town Parade.
04:04It was a fecking disgrace.
04:05Yes.
04:13Kilnus Cully is where his ancestors are from, and he'll be the sixth American president to visit Ireland when he arrives here in six days' time.
04:21Which one of the Madisons would he be now?
04:23It says here he's a great, great, great grandson of Mickey Madison.
04:29Would he have been one of the Madisons of Rath Manor?
04:31No, they were Madigans.
04:32There was only ever one family of Madisons from around here, and none of them ever went to America.
04:36Come here.
04:37Didn't you meet JFK?
04:39Oh, be glad I did, yeah.
04:40Go away.
04:41Wait till you hear this.
04:42He tells this lovely.
04:43Well, there was a cousin of mine, a guard in Washington.
04:46Bunty Costolo.
04:48Bunty Costolo.
04:49Our lieutenant Bunty Costolo, to give him his proper title, got me good to him.
04:54Well, Bunty sent over a few bobs so the sister Bridie and myself could go over and have a look at the place.
04:58What place?
04:59Washington, you loser, yeah.
05:00Well, lads, you've never seen the likes of it for cars.
05:03Oh, Cadillacs, Eldorados, Buicks, Pontiacs.
05:07Well, I was visiting Bunty on the job, and he was stationed in a little hut around the side of the White House.
05:12Barely enough room for the tuvers in the place.
05:14Well, it looks bigger on the telly.
05:16The hut, you eejit.
05:18Eejit.
05:18And this big black car pulled up.
05:22Oh, big Longyork stretching halfway into the middle of next week.
05:25And the wind are all down.
05:26And who's in the back of it only?
05:27JFK.
05:30JFK.
05:31How are you, Bunty, says he?
05:33How are you, Jack, says Bunty?
05:35I stuck the hand in straight away.
05:37I'm Dan, says I.
05:38Not Dan Clancy, says he.
05:40What a very man, says I.
05:42Well, says he, it is not the way Bunty ever doesn't shut up talking about you.
05:47Go away.
05:48Was he on his own?
05:49This is the best bit.
05:50He tells this lovely.
05:51The sister was in the back of the car beside him.
05:53Which one is a scatter of them in it?
05:55Marilyn, he said her name was.
05:57Blondy, strong, butty type of a girl.
06:00Some people, says Jack, look at what is and ask why.
06:05He turned around to the sister and he says, I look at what isn't and ask.
06:09Why not?
06:11Why not?
06:13I thought that was good.
06:14Because it was.
06:16I was going straight down, sh buds.
06:20Tell us, Timmy, where were you when JFK was?
06:23It was shot.
06:23Feck off.
06:24I told you before, I had nothing to do with it.
06:26I was only two and a half at the time.
06:31Oh, hello.
06:34Hello, ma'am.
06:35Oh, we have a live one here.
06:38Come on, girls.
06:45Operation Safe Eagle.
06:47Safe Eagle.
06:50You can't write it down.
06:52Fine odd.
06:53It's a code word.
06:54It's supposed to be a secret.
06:55Supposedly the notebook fell into the wrong hands.
06:57Make him eat it.
06:59Huh?
06:59Make him eat the notebook like they do in the films.
07:02As you know, Garda Ryan is away in Lourdes with the Garda band.
07:06So we're a bit short-handed here.
07:07That's why I had to ask you all to be part of the presidential security detail.
07:12I would be glad to help.
07:13Good man, Dieter.
07:14Sort of be a bit of gas anyway, eh?
07:16When duty doth call, each man will stand or fall.
07:21Kipling?
07:22No, no.
07:24Symington.
07:25No, no.
07:25Kipling?
07:26No, thanks, Louis.
07:27When are we watching In the Line of Fire?
07:28In a minute, Father.
07:29But first, these are the four of ye.
07:34I begs to be Roy Keane.
07:36And this is the presidential calf.
07:39Now, of course, it won't be made of a tough.
07:41No, no, no.
07:42That would not be bulletproof.
07:44It'll be warm, doth.
07:48Many American presidents are there.
07:50There's only the one, Jacksy.
07:51This Zachary Taylor Madison fella.
07:53I mean altogether from the start.
07:55Seven or eight at least.
07:56Ah, more than that.
07:57Forty-four.
07:58Go away.
07:59Forty-four.
08:00That many?
08:01Yeah, well, you had George Washington.
08:03He was the first.
08:05Then you had John Adams, followed by Thomas Jefferson.
08:08Then you had James Madison, followed by James Monroe.
08:12How many is that?
08:13Five.
08:14Well, John Quincy Adams is number six.
08:23Secret service.
08:25That's what he said.
08:27I'm Randy.
08:29Oh, fair enough.
08:30Randy Hanson.
08:31Agent Randy Hanson.
08:35And you are?
08:37A little bit insulted, to be honest.
08:38Really?
08:39Really.
08:40There's no need for your crowd.
08:42We have a first-class team here.
08:44Well-trained, motivated.
08:46Operation Safe Eagle.
08:48That's a secret.
08:50And why was this on the door?
08:53Sure, how else are they going to know about it?
08:55That's classified.
08:56Okay.
08:57Have you any EOD units?
08:59EOD?
09:00Explosive ordnance disposal.
09:02We have no use for that alone here.
09:04What about airspace management capacity?
09:06I asked about the helicopter, but the subaquilads are using that.
09:09Subaqua?
09:10They've gone to Cheltenham in it for the weekend.
09:12Have you even got any sniffer dogs?
09:14Well, there's the commissioner.
09:16The commissioner?
09:17That's the commissioner.
09:19Okay.
09:20I'm assuming command as of zero hundred Zulu time.
09:25Right.
09:26Now, when might that be?
09:28Midnight.
09:30Right.
09:31Any questions?
09:32Could I interest you in a clock radio?
09:40No.
09:42How much do you want for the magnifying glass?
09:4360 euro.
09:45Done.
09:45No.
09:56That's not it.
09:57No.
09:58Okay.
09:58Everybody out.
09:59We're shutting this place down.
10:13How long is this going to run for?
10:16That's classified.
10:18Huh?
10:32After him, you had Abraham Lincoln, 1861 to 1865.
10:36That was when he was shot.
10:37Where's this he was shot?
10:38In the back of the head.
10:39That must have hurt.
10:40I need this job to see like I need a hole in the head.
10:47Will you have a drink there, Jaxie?
10:50Drink?
10:51At a time like this?
10:53I'm off to see Willie Power.
10:55Something has to be done.
10:58He's right.
11:00Have you tried the Slurping Burger?
11:03I just got it in.
11:04I got it from the Weiss Squad.
11:18Hold it on, boss.
11:20She's a grand bus you have there.
11:22What'll you take for it?
11:23It's not for sale.
11:24Fair enough.
11:25Here, where I have you?
11:26Have a look at this.
11:27Put out your left hand.
11:29Put out your left hand.
11:30No, make a fist.
11:36Now tap your head three times.
11:37This is crazy.
11:38I'll go on.
11:39Go on.
11:41Now blow on your fist.
11:48Isn't working.
11:49I can still feel it in my hand.
11:50I haven't said the magic words yet.
11:52Of course you haven't.
11:53Shambouli, Shambouli, Pendenti.
11:57You see?
11:58Yeah.
11:59But wouldn't have been great if it did work.
12:00Look.
12:01I really don't have time.
12:03Here.
12:03That's yours, boss.
12:04I seen that on the telly.
12:06Good luck, boss.
12:10Then we Dwight David Eisenhower.
12:12After that, you're John Fitzgerald Kennedy.
12:14I need this job to see like I need a hole in the head.
12:21Lyndon Johnson.
12:22Then you had Nixon.
12:24Who was it we had after that?
12:26Princeton Madison.
12:27No, not at him yet.
12:29No, he's on the telly.
12:31Hoist.
12:32Turn it up, Dixie.
12:34Charlie Burke, RT.
12:36What can you tell us about your Irish great-great-grandfather?
12:39For a start, he was my great-great-great-grandfather.
12:43Greatness runs in our family.
12:46Mickey Madison was an Irish patriot, philanthropist, musician, and champion wrestler.
12:51And I just can't wait to visit with you folks over there in the United Kingdom of Ireland.
12:58There's something about that fella I just don't trust.
13:00Seems fine to me.
13:01A president would never lie, would he?
13:03You're clean.
13:13Oh, stop it.
13:15Would you like to take down my particulars?
13:17We have everyone's details, ma'am.
13:19I'll see you back in the B&B day, Randy.
13:22Don't be too late.
13:25Ready?
13:27Who's in charge here?
13:28I am Agent Randy Hanson.
13:31I'm Councillor Willie Power, Chairman of the Kilder Scully Visitors.
13:34And Convention Bureau, politician, businessman, interest in real estate.
13:39One conviction for the obstruction of a tribunal.
13:43Anna, it wasn't so much a tribunal as more of a Stuart's inquiry.
13:47Sure, that's all done and dusted.
13:49Look, don't get me wrong.
13:51But we're all delighted the president has come.
13:53Let me stop you there.
13:55Hanson.
13:58Two minutes.
13:59You were saying?
14:01Look, what you're doing here is not necessary.
14:03We've a series of committees set up to oversee every aspect of the Fort Common Visit.
14:07You were saying?
14:08We have in situ, so to speak, a series of wide range of committees.
14:12We appreciate your input, Mr. Power.
14:14However, I've got some surfaced air missiles arriving around now.
14:18Jenny, could you show these gentlemen to the PV-LLO?
14:22PV-LLO?
14:24Is that a tractor, Willie?
14:27PV-LLO?
14:28Oh, presidential visit, local liaison officer.
14:34How can I help you, gentlemen?
14:36Larry Cummins.
14:38You collaborating, snivelling little...
14:41Shh!
14:41Hmm?
14:46Hi, Andy.
14:47Take your hand, Andy.
14:53Stephen Jackson, come on.
14:55She has a plate in her head, you know.
14:58What sort of a plate?
15:00A metal plate.
15:01Theo, can we not get back to the agenda at hand?
15:04Yes, but every time she goes through the metal detector, it lights up like a Christmas tree.
15:10Her head?
15:10Oh, the metal detector, and it beeps, and that's far too much excitement for a woman of 88.
15:19Any other grievances?
15:21Mr. Chairman.
15:22The chair recognises Mrs. Gilhooly.
15:25I should hope so, Mr. Power.
15:26We've known each other since junior infancy.
15:29Oh, I hope she doesn't expect me to remember back that far.
15:34What have you to say, Mrs. Gilhooly?
15:37I am not in the habit of repeating myself, but I've said it before, and I'll say it again.
15:43They're after erecting, erecting, Mr. Power.
15:47A satellite dish contraption on the roof of the church.
15:52The church, Mr. Power.
15:55God's house.
15:57What would God want with a satellite dish?
16:00Sure, how do I know, Mrs. Gilhooly?
16:01I don't care who's coming.
16:03It'll have to come down.
16:06Through the chair?
16:08Yes, Theo.
16:08One cannot swing a cat without hitting a security man of some description, and our poor power walkers
16:19can hardly cross the road without being manhandled.
16:24That's true.
16:24That's true.
16:25I've said it here, above in the hall, ladies and gentlemen, only five days ago, that the
16:29forthcoming presidential visit is the worst thing that has happened killing the Scully
16:34since the famine, back in... years ago.
16:39Mr. Chairman, might I suggest a petition?
16:43Don't mind your petition.
16:44What we need here is dirt.
16:47Amen.
16:47Amen.
16:47Amen.
16:48Amen.
16:48Amen.
16:48Amen.
16:49Amen.
16:49Amen.
16:49Amen.
16:49Amen.
16:55Amen.
16:56Amen.
16:57Amen.
16:58Amen.
16:59Amen.
17:00Amen.
17:01Amen.
17:02Amen.
17:03Amen.
17:04Amen.
17:05Amen.
17:06Amen.
17:07Amen.
17:08Amen.
17:09Amen.
17:10Amen.
17:11Amen.
17:12Amen.
17:13Amen.
17:14Amen.
17:15Amen.
17:16Amen.
17:17Amen.
17:18Amen.
17:19Amen.
17:20Amen.
17:21Amen.
17:22Amen.
17:23Amen.
17:24Amen.
17:25If there was no way, this wouldn't Engelbert be him.
17:28I've told you.
17:30If there's a shower worse than the Black Intents,
17:33it's that shower off from Limelight.
17:35Oi, kids.
17:36All right, bud.
17:37I never knew you were out.
17:42Hello, the barrack's in.
17:43I'll just check.
17:45Dan, are you in?
17:47Who is it?
17:47Willie Powell.
17:49I'll take it in the lounge.
17:50Hang on a sec, Willie.
17:53I can barely hear you, Willie.
17:55Durt? What class of durt?
17:57Any class of durt.
17:58Once it's about the president's great-great-great-grandfather,
18:01this Mickey Madison fella.
18:02Fair enough.
18:03There isn't a family in the country that you don't know the ins and outs of.
18:08Right, I'll have a look around.
18:10Good man.
18:12What in the name of God?
18:16Hold it down, lads. Hold it down.
18:18We'll have the guards in on us like a ton of pricks.
18:20Let's all do the conga.
18:22Let's all do the conga.
18:23La, la, la, la.
18:25Woo!
18:25La, la, la, la.
18:27Woo!
18:27Let's all do the conga.
18:29Let's all do the conga.
18:30News!
18:31La, la, la.
18:32Woo!
18:33La, la, la.
18:34Woo!
18:41Mmm.
18:42I'd say, Randy, it must be hard.
18:45What?
18:46Being away from home so much.
18:48You get used to it.
18:49But what about your wife?
18:53Wife?
18:54Yes, she must miss you being away.
18:56Well, I guess if she gave a rat's ass, she wouldn't have divorced me.
19:00Mmm.
19:02So, is there a significant other?
19:06You bet your ass there is.
19:08Oh?
19:09Mandy.
19:11Mandy and Randy.
19:12You want to see a picture?
19:15I suppose.
19:20What do you think?
19:21She's big.
19:22You betcha.
19:230.5 V8 liter turbocharged engine.
19:26Infrared virtual imaging projected on a heads-up display.
19:30I mean, how cool is that?
19:32Lovely.
19:35God, I miss her.
19:37I'll put the kettle on.
19:38Is that you, Dan?
19:50Yeah.
19:52Well, looks like the prison's in for a bit of a shock.
19:56Turns out this Mickey Madison fella was a sheep-stealer, cattle rustler, alcoholic.
20:01And an awful man for the how's-your-father.
20:03The what?
20:04He was like a small jockey with a big whip.
20:06He's cruel to animals.
20:08No, he's like an awful man for the you-know-whats.
20:12What was it, Dan?
20:13Drugs?
20:14No, he was an awful man for the women.
20:16Oh.
20:17You could throw a cap over any ditch around these parts through the land of one of his children.
20:21And not a marriage cert that was ever known.
20:23Good man to Dan.
20:25All gets better.
20:26He took the soup.
20:31Your Honor.
20:32Two, two, one, two, two, one, two.
20:35Yeah, don't leave.
20:36Two, two, one, two, a, two, a, two, two.
20:38Yeah, come on.
20:39Yeah.
20:39Yourself?
20:40We were talking about soup.
20:42Soup?
20:43Yeah, he took the soup.
20:45The president's ancestors took the soup.
20:47Um, what soup?
20:48The Protestant soup.
20:49There's Protestant soup?
20:51And Mickey Madison took it.
20:53And in doing so, he jumped ship.
20:55Changed religion, went to the other side.
20:56And all for a cup of Owl's soup.
20:58Man, will he?
21:00Well, what flavour soup was it?
21:01So, how the hell do I know?
21:02This was Joan the Famine.
21:03So, can we, like, rule out potato soup?
21:06Look it.
21:06All I know is this.
21:08That the president's ancestors took the soup.
21:10But maybe he was hungry.
21:12Well, maybe he was, God help us.
21:14But when the potatoes were rotten in the fields, you could traipse the lenten breast of this country.
21:18And you wouldn't find so much as a packet of chipsticks or potatoes or hulaoops.
21:22So, my own great, great, great grand-aunt, his nephew, she didn't change her face.
21:26And when the people in this country were fighting, starving, and dying for Ireland,
21:33even to the point of debt, where was Mickey Madison?
21:37Slurping the Protestant soup.
21:39So, you can write this in your notebook.
21:40There's no welcome here for presidential soup sloppers.
21:43Read my lips.
21:45The invitation to President Zachary Taylor Madison is hereby withdrew.
21:49But you never invited him here in the first place.
21:56Exactly.
21:56What kind of a man invites himself to another man's country?
21:59A soup slurper, that's you.
22:00What evidence have you guys got?
22:02Lovely, we'll have to wrap it up, dear.
22:04Thank you very much.
22:05We're out of time.
22:06No, you never answered my question.
22:07Yeah, I'd love to answer your question, but we have a funeral arriving here in a few minutes.
22:11Isn't that right, Farrah?
22:11Mr. Power.
22:13Isn't that right, Farrah?
22:15Mr. Power.
22:15Oh, the funeral.
22:16Yes, yes.
22:17Thank you all very much.
22:18Thank you all.
22:19Thank you very much.
22:19Mr. Power.
22:20Mr. Power.
22:21Mr. Power.
22:23Son of a bitch.
22:26I thought all this Mickey Madison malarkey was made up.
22:30It was made up, sir.
22:32Who'd have thought there'd be a real Mickey Madison?
22:34Not you, obviously.
22:36No, sir.
22:37You know where I'm meant to be right now?
22:39A village people convention?
22:41My ranch.
22:42But here I am, linked with some two-bit soup slurperer.
22:45We've worked out a strategy, sir.
22:47Where the hell am I from this time?
22:50You'll need to read this, sir.
22:54He had a little light.
22:58The first one to snigger loses 50 bucks.
23:02Yes, Mr. President.
23:03I'll tell you something here now tonight.
23:12This day will go down in history as the week that a little village brought down a superpower
23:16to its knees.
23:18And I'd just like you here now tonight, at this juncture, to propose a toast to Dan Clemson.
23:22Hey, good man, Dan.
23:24Good man, Dan.
23:24Oh, no, thank for Dan.
23:25How did you know, Mr. Dan, where to find the truth about the President's ancestors?
23:29Well, these are...
23:30I found it in the same place you find the truth about everything around the hell.
23:33Where is that?
23:35I made it up.
23:35Hey, hey, Willie's on the telly.
23:40There's no welcome here for presidential soup slurpers.
23:43Read my lips.
23:46The invitation to President Zachary Taylor-Madison is hereby withdrew.
23:50The President, meanwhile, is visiting the tiny Norwegian village of Scullyfjord on a hasty
23:55organized trip to visit the homeland of his great-great-grandmother.
23:58I can't tell you how great it is to finally visit with you folks here in Norwegia.
24:03My great-great-grandmother was, it seems, from Scandinavia, which, of course, is near here.
24:09To commemorize her, the Madison Family Trust is giving the local community here in Scullyfjord
24:15$11 million.
24:20How much is that in Urals?
24:28Neurals!
24:29Neurals!
24:50Neurals!
24:50Neurals!
24:51Neurals!
24:51Neurals!
24:52Neurals!
24:53Neurals!
24:54Neurals!
24:55Neurals!
24:56Neurals!
24:57Neurals!
24:58Neurals!
24:59Neurals!
25:00Neurals!
25:01Neurals!
25:02Neurals!
25:03Neurals!
25:04Neurals!
25:05Neurals!
25:06Neurals!
25:07Neurals!
25:08Neurals!
25:09Neurals!
25:10Neurals!
25:11Neurals!
25:12Neurals!
25:13Neurals!