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VoyagesTranscription
00:00:00Saitan, le Devil, Lucifer, Prince of Darkness, Yen Luang, Belial, Abaddon,
00:00:30Beelzebub, Prince of Darkness, Beelzebub, Belial, Abaddon, Saitan, the Devil, Lucifer, Beelzebub,
00:00:57Belial, Prince of Darkness.
00:01:01Good morning.
00:01:04Neil?
00:01:06Huh?
00:01:11What? Too daring?
00:01:13Yeah, not if you're daring people to kick your ass.
00:01:15It's called peacocking, bro.
00:01:17All right? Females are attracted to bright colors.
00:01:20How's it working so far?
00:01:22You know, it's working well.
00:01:24You gotta play to your strengths, style and charm.
00:01:26All right.
00:01:27You should play to yours.
00:01:28You should bust out those panty-dropping card tricks that you never show anyone.
00:01:31Girls don't like card tricks.
00:01:33Are you kidding?
00:01:35Of course they do.
00:01:36Well, they don't.
00:01:37Yeah, they do.
00:01:38Dude, according to men's health,
00:01:40females are 18% more likely to sleep with a guy after seeing a card trick.
00:01:44Yeah.
00:01:45Really?
00:01:46Yeah.
00:01:46Yeah.
00:01:47May 2010. Look it up.
00:01:48May...
00:01:49Hey, gorgeous.
00:01:51Gorgeous.
00:01:51Would you like to see a card trick?
00:01:55Sure.
00:01:56All right.
00:01:57Yeah.
00:01:58Pick one and, uh, don't show...
00:02:01Now, um, tear it up.
00:02:05Okay.
00:02:09I can have that back.
00:02:10Give it to him.
00:02:11Yeah, give it to him.
00:02:12Is this your card?
00:02:20No.
00:02:21Not even close.
00:02:24Check your bra.
00:02:27What?
00:02:29Check your bra.
00:02:36That's amazing.
00:02:37How did you do that?
00:02:39I can't tell you.
00:02:41Coming?
00:02:41Oh, my God.
00:02:42It's working.
00:02:44Listen, I'm having a party at my house next weekend.
00:02:48You should know.
00:02:50That sounds, uh, amazing.
00:02:52But I've got this church thing, so...
00:02:55Church thing.
00:02:57Church thing.
00:02:59No, no, no, no, no.
00:03:00Neil just gets exhausted after a show.
00:03:02You gotta give him a break.
00:03:06What?
00:03:08What the hell was that, man?
00:03:09Church?
00:03:09You're supposed to try to get in her pants.
00:03:12No, not convert her.
00:03:14No, I'm blue.
00:03:16You at least touched her boob.
00:03:17I didn't.
00:03:18Well, how did you...
00:03:19It was magic.
00:03:21Are you magically touching a boob right now?
00:03:24Hey, Denise, you just totally felt up Cheryl.
00:03:26Yeah, I know.
00:03:27And so does Kent.
00:03:28He's on a rampage.
00:03:29You better hide your ass.
00:03:30Oh, shit.
00:03:31Oh, shit.
00:03:32Over here.
00:03:34Over here.
00:03:35Oh, what?
00:03:37Oh, shit.
00:03:38Yes.
00:03:38Yes.
00:03:40Nice to meet you.
00:03:42Oh, shit.
00:03:42Oh, shit.
00:03:49Where's that little shit?
00:03:50Uh, uh, uh, uh, Neil.
00:03:55Neil, yeah.
00:03:56Neil is, uh...
00:03:57You know Neil.
00:03:58You put a card in my girlfriend's bra.
00:04:00I'm gonna tear him in half like a phone book.
00:04:02Open the door or I'll put you through it.
00:04:03Uh...
00:04:04I'm...
00:04:06All right, man.
00:04:09Just...
00:04:09All right.
00:04:09Matt!
00:04:14What the fuck are you doing in there?
00:04:17You jacking it?
00:04:18Hey, everyone.
00:04:19Neil's jerking off in the closet.
00:04:21What a fucking gross little perv.
00:04:24Leave him alone, asshole.
00:04:26Go.
00:04:28Let's let him finish.
00:04:36I don't know.
00:04:49Wouldn't you rather be sleeping in on the weekends?
00:04:51I mean, I'm awake and it makes her parents happy.
00:04:54I fucking hate church.
00:04:55So lame.
00:04:56Come on.
00:04:57Put your robe on.
00:04:58Wait.
00:04:59Wait.
00:05:00Nin nomine satanus.
00:05:03Hail Satan.
00:05:04Hail Satan.
00:05:05And thank you, Satan.
00:05:19Brothers and sisters,
00:05:21as the celebration of Astaroth approaches,
00:05:24it is time to ask ourselves,
00:05:27why do we worship Satan?
00:05:29Is it for the power he has promised us?
00:05:32Is it to be on the winning side
00:05:34at the final battle of Armageddon?
00:05:37The worship of Satan
00:05:38allows us to eat freely
00:05:40from the tree of knowledge
00:05:42of good and evil.
00:05:46It gives us the freedom
00:05:47to indulge our senses
00:05:49in the pleasures
00:05:51of earth,
00:05:54heaven,
00:05:55and hell.
00:05:57Jesus Christ.
00:05:58blasphemy.
00:05:59If we could have
00:06:02everybody's undivided attention,
00:06:05thank you.
00:06:08Where was I?
00:06:10Side of truth.
00:06:11Oh, yes.
00:06:12Brothers and sisters,
00:06:14the worship of Satan
00:06:15is all of these things.
00:06:17But most of all,
00:06:19it is to be on the side of truth.
00:06:21Let the scales fall from your eyes.
00:06:26For God is the deceiver
00:06:28and Satan is the salvation.
00:06:33Soon, we will perform
00:06:36the celebration of Astaroth.
00:06:39Our young brother Neil
00:06:40will give himself over
00:06:42completely to our Lord
00:06:43to foil the accursed forces
00:06:47of heaven.
00:06:48Hail, Satan!
00:06:50Hail, Satan!
00:06:53Bring forth the offering.
00:06:58I'm not looking so cold.
00:07:02Lord,
00:07:03please accept
00:07:05this humble sacrifice.
00:07:07I would totally trade places
00:07:08with that go right now.
00:07:09The token of our faith.
00:07:11Just keep watching.
00:07:14Innomineis Akarnis!
00:07:15Yes!
00:07:18And remember,
00:07:21this Wednesday,
00:07:21we're having a bake sale
00:07:22to raise money
00:07:23for our bowling team
00:07:25and also the star
00:07:27of our upcoming
00:07:28Celebration of Astaroth ceremony,
00:07:30Neil,
00:07:31is working so hard to prepare.
00:07:33Let's show him our support.
00:07:35Oh, yeah.
00:07:37Oh, yeah.
00:07:40Hey, um,
00:07:43so this talking during church thing,
00:07:45pretty fun, is it?
00:07:46Mom, I...
00:07:47Dad, okay?
00:07:48No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:07:49You know what?
00:07:50I can actually see how
00:07:51joking and laughing
00:07:52and embarrassing your family,
00:07:54you know,
00:07:54instead of paying attention
00:07:55to the sermon
00:07:56could be a little entertaining.
00:07:57Matt totally started it.
00:07:59Okay, it's always Matt's fault, huh?
00:08:00Yes, actually, it is.
00:08:02Are you gonna go through
00:08:03the rest of your life
00:08:04never taking responsibility
00:08:06for your actions, huh?
00:08:07Yeah.
00:08:08Oh, really?
00:08:09Sheldon, hi.
00:08:14Uh, we were just talking
00:08:15about how sorry we are
00:08:16for that interruption
00:08:17during the sermon.
00:08:18I should certainly hope so.
00:08:21You understand
00:08:22that next time
00:08:23it's quite a different story?
00:08:26Yes, sir.
00:08:27How are the preparations going?
00:08:29Oh, he's ready.
00:08:32In fact, uh,
00:08:32why don't you recite for them
00:08:34the names of our Lord?
00:08:35Yes.
00:08:36Do tell.
00:08:37Tell us.
00:08:42Lucifer.
00:08:43Athamid.
00:08:44Beelzebub.
00:08:46That's Beelzebub.
00:08:49Beelzebub.
00:08:50Uh,
00:08:51Belial, Abaddon.
00:08:56There are over 40 of them,
00:08:57you know.
00:08:59You should take time
00:09:00to learn them.
00:09:02There's such fabulous things
00:09:04in store for you.
00:09:07Can I go?
00:09:11Hm.
00:09:17We're all
00:09:19very excited
00:09:20for the ceremony.
00:09:22So am I.
00:09:24It should be fun.
00:09:25Mm-hmm.
00:09:26Mm-hmm.
00:09:26Mm-hmm.
00:09:27Mm-hmm.
00:09:27Mm-hmm.
00:09:27Mm-hmm.
00:09:28Mm-hmm.
00:09:28Mm-hmm.
00:09:29Mm-hmm.
00:09:30Mm-hmm.
00:09:30Mm-hmm.
00:09:31So you've kept him chaste?
00:09:34Oh.
00:09:34That problem kind of took care of itself.
00:09:37You know, I never got into trouble
00:09:39until your family joined this church.
00:09:41Yeah, you never had any fun either.
00:09:42Did you?
00:09:43Get off me.
00:09:43Did you?
00:09:43Huh?
00:09:44You know, I still just don't understand
00:09:50this whole oath business.
00:09:52Like, they made you lock up your dick
00:09:53while they're all getting it on?
00:09:55That doesn't make any sense.
00:09:57Not fucking fair.
00:09:58They're stealing the greatest part
00:10:00of your youth,
00:10:00the hot, steamy, sexual part.
00:10:03Why would you agree
00:10:04with something like that?
00:10:06I'm not getting laid
00:10:07because I'm not allowed to.
00:10:08What's your excuse?
00:10:09Oh, I see.
00:10:10I see.
00:10:10So you're scared, huh?
00:10:12I'm scared.
00:10:13No, no, you got a little case
00:10:14of the vagaphobia?
00:10:15I don't have a vagaphobia.
00:10:16Seriously, though,
00:10:17you just gotta figure this shit out, man,
00:10:19before it's too late.
00:10:20Hey, Dad.
00:10:21I mean, because really, Neil,
00:10:22what we should be doing
00:10:23is tripping over each other's dick
00:10:24to see who could bag the most babes.
00:10:27You know?
00:10:28Fuck something.
00:10:30Anything.
00:10:31Matt.
00:10:32That kid's got problems.
00:10:34Yeah, and that problem is you.
00:10:36Bye, Neil.
00:10:38We just wanted to make sure
00:10:39that both of you were spiritually prepared
00:10:41for what's going to happen.
00:10:42Of course.
00:10:44It's a great honor.
00:10:46It will all be over very quickly, right?
00:10:49Oh, just as quick as I can make it, my dear.
00:10:52I can assure you that...
00:10:54That the dagger plunges into the flesh
00:10:56swiftly, smoothly.
00:10:58That sounds so painful.
00:11:00No, no, no, no.
00:11:01It'll feel a little pinched,
00:11:02but for no more than an instant.
00:11:04So, no pain?
00:11:06No, there will be pain.
00:11:07Extreme pain.
00:11:08And blood, lots and lots of it.
00:11:12I'm so sorry.
00:11:14As I was saying,
00:11:16this whole process is not only painless,
00:11:18but euphoric.
00:11:19I-I have a crazy idea.
00:11:22Why don't we just sit him down
00:11:26and explain everything to him?
00:11:28That way he'll be prepared.
00:11:30What are you going to tell him, okay?
00:11:32That his best friend
00:11:33is going to have to mop him up
00:11:34after the ceremony?
00:11:35No.
00:11:35Shelly, come on.
00:11:37He'll accept it.
00:11:39He loves Satan.
00:11:41Sheldon, I'm so sorry.
00:11:42No, no, no.
00:11:43Please, please.
00:11:44Okay.
00:11:44There's no reason to confuse the little fellow.
00:11:50We don't have time for second thoughts.
00:11:54If we don't perform the ritual
00:11:55on the equinox of his 18th year,
00:11:59Jesus Christ will return
00:12:00and usher in a thousand years of peace on Earth.
00:12:04Is that what you want?
00:12:08No.
00:12:10I didn't think so.
00:12:14So my advice to you
00:12:15is to put your misgivings aside
00:12:17and focus on the positive.
00:12:20I know.
00:12:28Eat some cake.
00:12:29Yeah, you should be enjoying your big night.
00:12:31Want some ice cream on that?
00:12:32You should be eating like there's no tomorrow.
00:12:36It's a clown, Dad.
00:12:37I'm 18.
00:12:38Why don't you tell us what's wrong?
00:12:42Is it a girl?
00:12:44No.
00:12:44Actually, yeah, kind of.
00:12:54Huh?
00:12:58Something happened.
00:13:01I'm not going to bore you with the details.
00:13:03You're going to look me in the eye
00:13:04and you're going to answer me truthfully.
00:13:06Was there any physical contact?
00:13:08No.
00:13:08So there was no intercourse?
00:13:11Inter...
00:13:12No.
00:13:13And no oral?
00:13:14Giving or receiving.
00:13:16No.
00:13:17What about anal?
00:13:18Jesus, Mom.
00:13:19Answer your mother.
00:13:20Was there anal?
00:13:21No.
00:13:22Okay, look.
00:13:23Something happened
00:13:24that will ensure I will never get laid
00:13:26in my whole life.
00:13:28Son, look.
00:13:29You know you can talk to me about anything.
00:13:31I didn't break my stupid oath.
00:13:33All right?
00:13:37Okay, then.
00:13:40Your oath isn't stupid, honey.
00:13:42It's the whole reason you were born.
00:13:45We were your age when I conceived
00:13:47and we just...
00:13:48we just didn't know what to do.
00:13:50But Sheldon told us
00:13:52that you had a special purpose.
00:13:55Look.
00:13:56I'm sure you're going through
00:13:57some pretty depressing teenage stuff right now.
00:14:00Been there, done that.
00:14:02Even I had a stupid haircut once, didn't I?
00:14:06But you are representing our family
00:14:08and our church.
00:14:10When it is all over,
00:14:11you will have a fuller understanding
00:14:12of what it is all about.
00:14:15You gotta take a leak.
00:14:22Gary, we need to tell him.
00:14:25You know how we hate surprises.
00:14:27If we just explain it to him...
00:14:28Absolutely not.
00:14:30He'll cause a scene.
00:14:31Crying and kicking and screaming.
00:14:33Do you want other people to see that?
00:14:36Look, you heard him.
00:14:37Okay?
00:14:37He has suffered enough humiliation.
00:14:39Trust me.
00:14:41We did not choose Neil's destiny.
00:14:46He did.
00:14:46I want you to know that it won't just be Neil
00:15:07who will be rewarded for his sacrifice
00:15:09to a new era.
00:15:12To a new era.
00:15:15Thank you.
00:15:19It's almost sundown, dear.
00:15:21Oh.
00:15:22Would you kindly excuse us?
00:15:24Of course.
00:15:24I'm so proud of you.
00:15:49Thanks.
00:15:50You've been such a good son.
00:16:11There he is, buddy.
00:16:13Huh?
00:16:14Man of the hour.
00:16:15Listen, I heard that after the confirmation,
00:16:19you get to bone any woman you want
00:16:21from within the congregation.
00:16:23If you were me, I'd go for Colette
00:16:24and make her boyfriend fucking watch.
00:16:26Don't embarrass me.
00:16:28Pfft.
00:16:29Do I ever?
00:16:31Okay, everybody.
00:16:32Time to get started.
00:16:37Excuse me.
00:16:39Are you excited?
00:17:05Brothers and sisters,
00:17:06we are gathered together
00:17:08for an ancient ceremony,
00:17:11momentous and beautiful.
00:17:14Before we begin,
00:17:15please turn off your cell phones
00:17:17and all other electronic devices.
00:17:25Eighteen years ago,
00:17:28our Lord chose this young man
00:17:30to join him in battle
00:17:32against the great deceiver.
00:17:34His spirit will join with the Father
00:17:37on this night.
00:17:40We now ask young Neil
00:17:41to lay his earthly vessel
00:17:44upon our altar.
00:17:48Handmaidens of our Lord.
00:17:50Dude, I think they're going to fuck you
00:18:07right here in front of everyone.
00:18:08In nomine satanis.
00:18:11In nomine satanis.
00:18:13Now the time approaches
00:18:15to release his spirit
00:18:17into the arms of our Father.
00:18:20Whereupon his soul
00:18:21will join our King
00:18:24for all eternity.
00:18:27The sacrificial lamb
00:18:29will stand with Lucifer
00:18:32in Hades.
00:18:35Oh, oh.
00:18:35Sacrificial lamb?
00:18:37It's a metaphor.
00:18:37As we tear the virgin's flesh asunder
00:18:41so that the blood may spill forth
00:18:43in holy offering.
00:18:45In nomine satanis.
00:18:48In nomine satanis.
00:18:49In nomine satanis.
00:18:50In nomine satanis.
00:18:52In nomine satanis.
00:18:55Dude.
00:18:55In nomine satanis.
00:18:56In nomine satanis.
00:18:57Dude.
00:18:58Whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:18:59What the?
00:19:00In nomine satanis.
00:19:02In nomine satanis.
00:19:03Satanis.
00:19:04Kneel, kneel.
00:19:05Hey.
00:19:06Kneel.
00:19:07Kneel.
00:19:08Kneel.
00:19:09Kneel.
00:19:10Kneel.
00:19:14Get back here.
00:19:15Whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:19:16Whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:19:17Whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:19:18Hold it.
00:19:19Okay.
00:19:20Oh, shit.
00:19:21Come on.
00:19:32Oh, fuck.
00:19:33God.
00:19:34God.
00:19:35God.
00:19:36God.
00:19:37God.
00:19:38Sheldon.
00:19:38God.
00:19:51God.
00:19:52Come here.
00:19:53Quickly.
00:19:54Come one.
00:19:55Where is my other shoe?
00:19:56My other shoe?
00:19:57Je m'en suis désolé, Sheldon. Je veux dire quoi ?
00:20:04Tu ne peux pas dire rien !
00:20:08Tu comprends ça ?
00:20:09Oui.
00:20:10Nous sommes à l'heure du soleil.
00:20:12Si nous nous perdons, notre mort va falloir sur nous !
00:20:17Non, ça ne va pas se passer.
00:20:19Je vais le chercher, il sera à l'altère dans l'altère.
00:20:22Non !
00:20:24Vous restez ici !
00:20:26Je prends ces deux avec vous, et vous trouvez les retourner.
00:20:30Nous avons besoin d'un petit touch pour les retourner.
00:20:35Vous savez ce que je parle, non ?
00:20:39Je pense que c'est.
00:20:41Bonne fille.
00:20:42Maintenant, c'est parti.
00:20:47Et, comme toujours,
00:20:49vous avez besoin de rester en haut.
00:20:55Et vous, si vous ne retournez,
00:20:58considèrez-vous excommuniqué,
00:21:01et vous ne verrez jamais les gates de l'Hell.
00:21:04J'ai oublié !
00:21:10Matt !
00:21:12Matt !
00:21:14What the fuck you're doing ?
00:21:15Matt, what the fuck, man ?
00:21:17You can't take that !
00:21:18That's my family's Mexico money for this song !
00:21:20Oh, I'm sorry,
00:21:21why don't you enjoy your lovely time in Acapulco,
00:21:23Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
00:21:53Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
00:22:23Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
00:22:53Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
00:22:55Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
00:22:56Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
00:22:58Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
00:23:02Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
00:23:04Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
00:23:06Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
00:23:08Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
00:23:10Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
00:23:12Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
00:23:14Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
00:23:16Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
00:23:18Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
00:23:20Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
00:23:22Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
00:23:24Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
00:23:34Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
00:23:36Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
00:23:38Je ne veux pas qu'elle soit utilisée.
00:23:40Elle n'est pas utilisée. C'est savant votre vie.
00:23:42Je sais. C'est savant ma vie.
00:23:44C'est pourquoi je vais juste dire la vérité.
00:23:46Denise est super cool, man.
00:23:48Elle va totalement faire ça.
00:23:50C'est bon, ok ?
00:23:51Mais les femmes ne répondent pas bien à la vérité.
00:23:53C'est comme... c'est comme la mystérie.
00:23:55C'est comme la magie.
00:23:57Si vous vous dites comment vous avez fait la magie,
00:23:58vous vous perdez la magie, right ?
00:24:00D'accord.
00:24:01Qu'est-ce que c'est ?
00:24:02C'est quoi ?
00:24:03C'est quoi ?
00:24:04C'est ça ?
00:24:05C'est ça.
00:24:06C'est ça.
00:24:07Just bear with me, ok ?
00:24:08Just ask.
00:24:10How big is your dick ?
00:24:12Well...
00:24:13I don't really like to talk about it,
00:24:15but, you know, it's nine and a half inches.
00:24:17Ok ?
00:24:18See ?
00:24:19Now, I'll ask you.
00:24:20How big is your dick ?
00:24:21I don't know.
00:24:22I've never measured it.
00:24:23Average ?
00:24:24Wrong.
00:24:25Ten inches.
00:24:26Why would I lie ?
00:24:27If the lie works, I'm gonna get caught.
00:24:28It doesn't matter, that's the thing.
00:24:29Ok ?
00:24:30Once she finds out that it's only five inches,
00:24:31it's already two inches deep.
00:24:33Oh, ok, Matt, you're gonna stay outside.
00:24:37Ok ?
00:24:38I'm not doing this for naught.
00:24:39It's fine.
00:24:40That's fine.
00:24:41I've washed my hands of this.
00:24:42I just...
00:24:43I'll just, uh...
00:24:44Be out here making phone calls.
00:24:51No Cheryl's, huh ?
00:24:52Wasn't...
00:24:53Wasn't feeling it.
00:24:54Um...
00:24:55Can I come in ?
00:24:56Yeah, sure.
00:24:57Why not ?
00:25:03Are your parents home ?
00:25:04No.
00:25:07Ugh, I've been stuck on this level for like two days.
00:25:10Is there one more day of this and I'm pillaging the internet for cheat codes ?
00:25:13Dude, can you sit down ?
00:25:15This is pretty annoying.
00:25:18Ok.
00:25:19Ok, uh...
00:25:20I really need to talk...
00:25:21I really...
00:25:22I really need to talk to you about something.
00:25:24It's kind of a big deal.
00:25:26Ok.
00:25:27Talk.
00:25:28Ok.
00:25:29Yeah.
00:25:30Only Denise can...
00:25:32This...
00:25:33It's a...
00:25:34Ok.
00:25:36Hey, Amy.
00:25:37It's Matt.
00:25:38Listen.
00:25:39There's some...
00:25:40Crazy shit going down tonight.
00:25:42Like...
00:25:43End of the world type stuff.
00:25:45So...
00:25:46Cheryl's party might be your last chance to get with me.
00:25:48Alright ?
00:25:49Hollaback.
00:25:50Mwah.
00:25:51Hey, you know how much I respect you.
00:25:53Yeah.
00:25:54So much.
00:25:55Yeah.
00:25:56Ok.
00:25:57Ok.
00:25:58Um...
00:25:59I uh...
00:26:00I think you're awesome.
00:26:01I think you're kind of a dork.
00:26:03Oh...
00:26:04What I'm about to ask...
00:26:06I could never ask anybody else.
00:26:12Ok, drama queen.
00:26:14I need...
00:26:15I just need you to say...
00:26:16That you will do this one thing for me.
00:26:18And I promise...
00:26:19I will never ask you for anything...
00:26:21Ever again.
00:26:22As long as I live.
00:26:23Which might not be for long.
00:26:25Let's hear it.
00:26:28I need you to have sex with me tonight.
00:26:31If you don't...
00:26:32I'm gonna die.
00:26:36I just...
00:26:37I just need to put it in.
00:26:38It doesn't have to be anything special.
00:26:39I don't know what the fuck I'm gonna be doing.
00:26:41But I don't even know the rules.
00:26:42I don't...
00:26:43I don't know.
00:26:44I just...
00:26:45What the fuck, Neil?
00:26:50There's some crazy shit going down tonight.
00:26:52Like end of the world type stuff.
00:26:54So Cheryl's party might be your last chance to get with me.
00:26:57So...
00:26:58Follow back.
00:26:59Emily.
00:27:00I would never even think of doing anything remotely sexual with you.
00:27:03But...
00:27:04But I'm really fucking desperate.
00:27:05I just need you to just let me just fuck.
00:27:08Like just...
00:27:09No...
00:27:10No...
00:27:11No meaning to it.
00:27:12Just the tip.
00:27:13Anything that'll work.
00:27:14Keep going, lover boy.
00:27:15Really, my panties are dripping.
00:27:16I swear.
00:27:17I...
00:27:18There.
00:27:19There.
00:27:20Holy fuck.
00:27:21Okay.
00:27:22Denise.
00:27:23Yeah, let's do it.
00:27:24Really, the sheer balls of it is impressive.
00:27:25I swear I'm not fucking with you, okay?
00:27:26You know the church my family belongs to.
00:27:28It's kind of different.
00:27:30Well, they just tried to sacrifice me.
00:27:32Because I'm a virgin.
00:27:33What?
00:27:34I'd rather have sex.
00:27:36Yeah, I know what a fucking virgin is, but what the fuck are you talking about?
00:27:40Unless I lose my virginity tonight, they're gonna sacrifice my ass to Satan.
00:27:45There.
00:27:46Here.
00:27:47Come on.
00:27:48Oh, my God.
00:27:49Neil.
00:27:50Denise, it's not fucking funny.
00:27:52Oh, come on.
00:27:55Listen, I need to know if this is gonna happen, or I really gotta run.
00:28:00Neil, I don't know what the fuck you're on, but you're being a real asshole right now.
00:28:03I'm gonna get the door.
00:28:04Listen, I need...
00:28:05Oh, fuck.
00:28:10Yeah?
00:28:11Hey, oh my God, this is so annoying.
00:28:13But you wouldn't happen to have seen Neil?
00:28:16No.
00:28:17Well, we were all just hanging out at the mall, you know?
00:28:19Listening to CDs, and he just ran off.
00:28:23We think he might be losing his mind.
00:28:24We were just really worried, so...
00:28:26Well, he was babbling nonsense.
00:28:29So you saw him?
00:28:32Yeah.
00:28:33Do you wanna maybe tell us where he went?
00:28:35Sorry, who are you guys?
00:28:37Well, hi.
00:28:38I'm Brad.
00:28:39I think it would be really helpful if you could help us find me.
00:28:46All right, uh, yeah, come in.
00:28:52How'd they know we were here?
00:28:53I don't know.
00:28:54Fucked!
00:28:55Oh, shit, shit, shit.
00:28:56Oh, shit, shit, shit.
00:28:57Oh, shit.
00:28:58These pants are too tight.
00:28:59Okay.
00:29:00Oh, my God.
00:29:01Oh, come on.
00:29:02Come on.
00:29:03I gotcha.
00:29:04Let's go.
00:29:05No!
00:29:06So, it's just down this street here.
00:29:07Oh, but it's a one-way, so, uh, you should just go around via Oak.
00:29:11And Cheryl's house should just be right there.
00:29:19You've been incredibly helpful.
00:29:21Thank you.
00:29:22Yeah, how do you guys know Neil again?
00:29:24From a church.
00:29:25What church is that?
00:29:26You've never heard of it.
00:29:28We worship Satan.
00:29:31Fuck.
00:29:32Dude, you have nothing to lose.
00:29:46Ugh.
00:29:47No.
00:29:48Humiliation is worse than death.
00:29:50You've never walked into a room where everybody's seen you wearing jizz.
00:29:54Ah, yes.
00:29:55I have.
00:29:58I can't do it.
00:29:59I choose death.
00:30:00What?
00:30:01No, no, no, no, no.
00:30:02No, no, no, no.
00:30:03Wait, wait, wait, okay?
00:30:04Your parents almost killing you tonight?
00:30:05That's the best thing that could have happened to you.
00:30:07They'd lit a fire under your ass to go out there, grab life by the ears, and make sweet,
00:30:11sweet love to his mouth.
00:30:15Fuck, you're a selfish prick.
00:30:16You know that?
00:30:17How am I selfish?
00:30:18Because this is your last chance, Neil.
00:30:19If you don't go in there and bust your hymen, then you're a dead man.
00:30:24And then that's on my head, and I can't live with that shit, so fuck you.
00:30:30I wouldn't want me dying to be a source of guilt for you or anything.
00:30:37Yes.
00:30:38Yes.
00:30:49See?
00:30:50Not so bad, huh?
00:30:51Uh, shit.
00:30:52Uh, let's get you a beer this way.
00:30:57Hey.
00:30:58Ladies, you guys know Neil, right?
00:31:00Yeah, hey.
00:31:01Ooh, can I put a raise?
00:31:03Here we go, here we go.
00:31:04Ready?
00:31:05Here, pull on, baby.
00:31:10Fuck.
00:31:11Neil.
00:31:12Wait, Neil.
00:31:13Neil?
00:31:15Hey, look everybody, it's the man himself.
00:31:18Let's all do the fucking Neil.
00:31:27Oh my god, that was the worst thing I've ever seen happen to anybody.
00:31:39You need a shot.
00:31:46Hitting bottom.
00:31:48Nowhere to go but up.
00:31:49Don't worry.
00:31:52Ooh.
00:31:53Ooh, that's awful.
00:31:57I've never seen anyone this stuff out here.
00:32:16Oh!
00:32:17Who's in there?
00:32:18I think it's that masturbating guy.
00:32:21Hey man, you jerking off in there?
00:32:23Get some rhythm bro!
00:35:01Merci.
00:35:11C'était... C'était vraiment super.
00:35:15Tu veux voir une autre vidéo ?
00:35:18Peut-être.
00:35:31Peut-être.
00:35:33D'accord.
00:35:47Oh, c'est ça.
00:35:49Oh, c'est ça.
00:35:51Oh, c'est ça !
00:35:57Oh, c'est ça.
00:36:01Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
00:36:31Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
00:37:01So what are you into?
00:37:03Besides magic, um, I like video games.
00:37:06I kind of like the retro stuff because it's more about the game.
00:37:11I meant like in bed.
00:37:14Uh...
00:37:16You want to fuck me, don't you?
00:37:21That would be super helpful.
00:37:23Yeah, I mean, yes.
00:37:27Okay.
00:37:33Neil?
00:37:36Neil, are you up here?
00:37:40Are you ready?
00:37:43I think so.
00:37:45Oh, you feel ready?
00:37:46I feel ready.
00:37:47Oh, man.
00:37:48Look!
00:37:51This is not what it looks like.
00:37:53Cheryl?
00:37:54Billy?
00:37:54Oh.
00:37:55I asked you first.
00:37:57You know, I just came to warn you that these people from your church are coming.
00:38:01Oh, can we still do this?
00:38:02You're kidding, right?
00:38:03Oh, shit.
00:38:12Fuck.
00:38:13Do something.
00:38:13Fuck.
00:38:15Oh, fuck.
00:38:16That was close.
00:38:28Let's go.
00:38:30No, I'll stay here and buy you some time.
00:38:32Denise, it's not safe.
00:38:33No, they're not after me, okay?
00:38:34We'll catch up later and see what happens.
00:38:36So you believe me now?
00:38:38Yes, I believe you're being hunted by a satanic cult.
00:38:41A cult.
00:38:41Oh, did you see Neil?
00:38:48Jesus.
00:38:49Is every girl at this party trying to get with him?
00:38:52Where is he?
00:38:53Hey.
00:38:54Hey.
00:38:55Hey.
00:39:02Matt?
00:39:07Oh, my God, hey.
00:39:08You know, I was wondering where all the hot balls were.
00:39:12What are you doing here?
00:39:20Matt, come on, we have to go.
00:39:21What?
00:39:22We have to go.
00:39:24Get up.
00:39:24Wait, wait, wait.
00:39:25Do I have puke in my teeth?
00:39:26Where's your friend?
00:39:28Who?
00:39:29Neil?
00:39:30Uh, did you try upstairs?
00:39:32Yeah.
00:39:33Oh, I just got to sleep.
00:39:40Oh.
00:39:41Ooh.
00:39:42Ow.
00:39:43Dude.
00:39:44Ooh, the keys.
00:39:45We gotta go, man.
00:39:47All right.
00:39:47I got the key.
00:39:49You're all smiling.
00:39:54Um, hey, guys.
00:39:55Where are you going?
00:39:57Not stealing your car.
00:39:59No.
00:40:00We're borrowing.
00:40:00I got the key.
00:40:01Ah!
00:40:02Ah!
00:40:03Ah!
00:40:07No!
00:40:07That's it.
00:40:08That's it for you, mate.
00:40:09No!
00:40:09Come on.
00:40:10Come on.
00:40:10Ugh!
00:40:11Oh!
00:40:14Oh, hey.
00:40:15So, this church, is it anything like regular church, or something?
00:40:18No.
00:40:19It's the exact opposite.
00:40:20Oh, OK.
00:40:21So your altar boys molested your priest, then?
00:40:23I don't really know.
00:40:29Oh!
00:40:29Shit!
00:40:30Go!
00:40:31There.
00:40:33You better drive.
00:40:34We gotta be responsible here.
00:40:38Ah!
00:40:39Ah!
00:40:39Ah!
00:40:40Ah!
00:40:40I'm gonna hurt you!
00:40:41Go!
00:40:42Go!
00:40:42Go!
00:40:43Get out of the goddamn car!
00:40:44Go!
00:40:45Go!
00:40:45Go!
00:40:46Go!
00:40:46Go!
00:40:51Get the truck!
00:40:54Put her in the car!
00:40:55Get the truck!
00:40:56Go!
00:40:56Yeah!
00:40:57Go!
00:40:57No!
00:40:58Oh!
00:41:03How the fuck did they find us?
00:41:04I'll tell you how.
00:41:05Your friend without benefits sold us out.
01:05:45Oui, je veux que vous vivez, oui ?
01:05:47Oui, je veux que vous vivez, mec.
01:05:51Quoi ?
01:05:52Quoi ? Quoi ?
01:05:53Quoi ?
01:05:54Quoi ?
01:05:55Non j'ai pas besoin d'un extra.
01:05:57Nous avons juste pour un extra.
01:05:59Comment on va commencer ?
01:06:01Je sais pas, je sais pas.
01:06:03Je sais pas.
01:06:05Juste...
01:06:07Je sais pas.
01:06:09Oh, merde.
01:06:11Oh, merde.
01:06:13Je sais pas.
01:06:15Je sais pas.
01:06:17Je sais pas.
01:06:19Je sais pas.
01:06:21Je sais pas.
01:06:23Je sais pas.
01:06:25Je sais pas.
01:06:27Je sais pas.
01:06:29Je sais pas.
01:06:31C'est pas.
01:06:33Oh, mon Dieu.
01:06:35Il parle à toi comme tu es un enfant.
01:06:37Je ne peux pas parler à toi, non.
01:06:41Tu as une femme tatouiller.
01:06:45C'est très difficile.
01:06:47Avec vos armes et l'abbs et l'esprit, les filles doivent être en vous tout le temps.
01:06:56C'est difficile de trouver des femmes en cette chambre.
01:06:59Alors, si une seule femme, comment je vais faire partie de la chambre ?
01:07:04Je vais vous remercier de Dieu, d'avoir un tatouage, d'avoir un biblé, c'est une chose.
01:07:12Vous savez, si vous voulez vraiment aller, vous devriez juste aller.
01:07:14Oui, je sais, except que je ne peux pas, parce que je dois rester ici et babysit vous.
01:07:21Je pense que je vais être fine.
01:07:35Qu'est-ce qui en là ?
01:07:36Je ne suis pas dur.
01:07:38Oh, je suis sorry, je ne vais pas te faire de vous, mec.
01:07:40Je ne suis pas demandé de me faire de vous, Matt.
01:07:42Je sais, juste, juste, juste, juste, juste, juste, tu sais, tu sais ?
01:07:44Oh, God.
01:07:45Oh, shit.
01:07:47Break it up.
01:07:48Hi, Dad.
01:07:50It's time.
01:07:54Hey, there's no judging.
01:07:56Fuck, a lady prostitute.
01:07:58A lady prostitute, and she was hot.
01:08:00Two hours ago, real hot.
01:08:02You want to get to him, you got to go through me.
01:08:05Oh.
01:08:06All right.
01:08:07Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
01:08:37Names. Belial. Baphomet. Beelzebub. Lucifer. Awful monster.
01:08:49Skip the names.
01:08:51What are you talking about? We can't skip the names.
01:08:53It's almost sunrise.
01:08:55You know what time it is. I've got a bloody watch, you know.
01:08:58Then you know it's time to get on with it.
01:09:00You can do better. Why don't you do it then? Go on here. Take the mic.
01:09:03No, no, no. Take the book. Take my robe.
01:09:05I'm so sorry for this interruption.
01:09:07No one cares about the names, for fuck's sake.
01:09:11All right. All right.
01:09:15Ennominate.
01:09:17Lord,
01:09:19we offer this virgin
01:09:21flesh unto you
01:09:22that you may draw strength
01:09:24from the blood of innocents
01:09:26for the glory
01:09:31of your kingdom.
01:09:33I'm sorry, Neil.
01:09:41Ennominate.
01:09:43Ennominate.
01:09:45Hell's own inferno has come.
01:09:54I see his face in the veins.
01:09:57and Ennominate.
01:09:59In the veins.
01:10:00Ennominate.
01:10:00Ennominate.
01:10:01And...
01:10:02Jared.
01:10:02Oh! Oh! Satan burned my hand!
01:10:05No. The curtains run fire.
01:10:07Oh my God!
01:10:08Oh my God!
01:10:08Oh my God!
01:10:09Oh my God!
01:10:10Oh my God!
01:10:11Oh my God!
01:10:12Oh my God!
01:10:13Children!
01:10:13Oh my God!
01:10:15Oh my God!
01:10:16Back! Back!
01:10:16No!
01:10:17No!