Gogglebox - Season 24 Episode 8
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00:00Right, we're all going to play a game.
00:02Right, I'll play fair. Team Malone.
00:05Yay, good girl, Tilly. One, two, three, go.
00:07Yay!
00:10Yay, good girl.
00:15Oh, no.
00:16Here we go.
00:17They've got him.
00:18Oh.
00:19What are you doing?
00:20Oh, she's a chicken nugget.
00:22Isn't it embarrassing, Madeleine?
00:26Oh, kiss.
00:26Oh, that's a bit forward.
00:28This is raunchy, isn't it?
00:29Bring on the delves.
00:31Yay!
00:32Who's in for the finger this week, innit?
00:34Oh.
00:35It's so bad, it's actually good.
00:37It's actually good.
00:38What just happened?
00:39Siri, call Ofcom.
00:42In the week we finally found out what the government was planning
00:45to do with our finances, we enjoyed lots of great telly.
00:51Our favourite banker was back on the blower on ITV1.
00:55OK, Marks, £1,770.
01:00Deal or no deal?
01:00Speaking of which, is it my deal to do the supper tonight?
01:05But you always do it.
01:09Just once, I thought you might serve me supper.
01:12Bloody, I do everything else.
01:13All right.
01:14Starting at six.
01:15Yeah, OK.
01:17That's why we make such a good team, isn't it?
01:19No, I think you could pull slightly more weight.
01:24Secret proposers were hoping for a yes on E4.
01:27These are the four biggest words of their lives.
01:33Will you marry me?
01:35How do you actually want Josh to propose to you?
01:37Honestly, right, it could be somewhere amazing
01:41or it could actually be in the back garden.
01:43Like, I'm not actually that fussy of where it is,
01:46but if there's no thought put into it, I would say no, try again.
01:49But if it's in the back garden,
01:51then there's not much thought being put into that.
01:52But if the back garden was done up amazingly and there was
01:56a million candles and loads of nice white flowers.
02:01You can tell him this if you want.
02:03OK.
02:04And the race to the White House was making headlines once again.
02:09As we enter the final week of campaigning,
02:12the polls are telling us that there is only one or two percentage points
02:15dividing Donald Trump and Kamala Harris.
02:18The polls, oh, well, they won't like that because they're immigrants as well.
02:21What's Poland got to do with this?
02:36In Leeds.
02:37So, you know that air fryer you sent me?
02:40Well, I've ordered it and you'll know how buzzing I am over this.
02:44It's got a temperature probe.
02:46Oh, I've seen that the new ones have got the temperature probe.
02:50Sister's Ellie and Dizzy.
02:52She cooked a turkey in it.
02:53I watched the full QVC video, it was fantastic.
02:58And with the probe?
02:59With the probe, she cooked it with the probe.
03:02You're jealous of my probe, aren't you?
03:04I can't believe you've got a probe.
03:05You're pig sick about my probe.
03:08I'm pig sick about your...
03:09Do you know, I'm not actually that bothered for a probe.
03:12You're a liar!
03:14I'm not that bothered for a probe because...
03:16Wait until you come to mine for Christmas dinner
03:18and I've been probing everything.
03:21On Monday, it was all about the boxers on ITV1.
03:24Are you feeling lucky today, Mum?
03:26You'd have to do some serious manifestation
03:28before Deal or No Deal.
03:29Yeah.
03:30What's for me will not go by me.
03:32Yeah.
03:32No, wait.
03:33I do not chase, I attract.
03:34Yeah.
03:35Everything that's for me will come to me.
03:37Decent-sized muffin, that, isn't it?
03:40And fig rolls.
03:42Yeah.
03:45Don't they just remind you of being at school,
03:47or Deal or No Deal,
03:48and getting in after school and watching it?
03:50Having a packet of cheese and onion crisps and a caramel.
03:52It doesn't require any level of intelligence, does it, really?
03:57Are you having a dig?
03:58No, no, no!
03:59What are you trying to say?
04:00Oh, no!
04:01You cheeky cow!
04:03In the programme, a shiny Stephen Mulhern
04:05welcomed Miles to the hot seat.
04:08How we doing?
04:09I am good, thanks, buddy.
04:10How are you?
04:10Good to see you.
04:12This is my 21st episode now.
04:14Oh, it's his 21st episode!
04:16He's Dua Gore, then he's Miles.
04:18A bit like being the bridesmaid 21 times,
04:20now finally he's the bride.
04:21Good luck, Miles.
04:22Come on, everybody, give him lots of encouragement!
04:24Box 17 he's got, then.
04:26Oh, that's not a bad number, 17.
04:28What's the difference between 1 to 21?
04:31Why is that not a bad number?
04:32Have you got a bad number?
04:33Yeah, I have.
04:34Gemma, straight over to you with box 15, please, my love.
04:36Here we go.
04:37You want it on the blue side, not the red.
04:39Start in style and make it a lovely blue.
04:43No pressure.
04:44Oh, I've got a horrible feeling already.
04:45Oh, Simon.
04:46Come on, now, blue.
04:49Oh, no!
04:51Oh, God.
04:52Oh, you'd be ill, wouldn't you?
04:54The first box, 75 big ones.
04:56You've got it.
04:57Come on, Miles, you can do this.
04:58It's time for a blue, isn't it?
04:59It is time for a blue.
05:00We need a blue, come on.
05:02And Claire, number two,
05:03you're going to be the person to deliver it.
05:04I really hope so.
05:05I didn't get to be your neighbour for long,
05:07but I loved being your neighbour.
05:10The new mate will laugh with all his emotional bullshit.
05:14You're opening boxes.
05:16Fuck me.
05:18Oh, no.
05:19Oh, no, he's having a run of bad luck, Mary.
05:21Paula, 16.
05:22Come on, let's go.
05:24Get it open.
05:25OK, right, smiley, smiley.
05:26I do think this is a blue.
05:27For the odds, it's got to be a blue, surely.
05:30And with me psychic vibes...
05:32Oh, she's definitely got a red.
05:34There's always someone, isn't there?
05:35She's got a psychic vibe, yeah.
05:37I think it's a penny.
05:38Penny?
05:39The psychic vibes are telling her it's going to be a penny.
05:41No, I've got a bad feeling about this, Paula.
05:45Oh!
05:46Oh, you bleeding bloody hell!
05:49100 grand!
05:50Bloody hell!
05:52Surely £99,999.99 out.
05:58Easy mistake to make, Pedro.
06:01Paula, you were wrong, pet.
06:02A bit later, with nine boxes left,
06:04Miles was hoping his luck would change.
06:07Don't even think about it.
06:08Don't even think about it.
06:09Don't think about it.
06:10See, you know what?
06:11John.
06:12Right, penny.
06:13All we do not want to see at this moment in time
06:16is that £50,000.
06:18Surely to God.
06:19I bet it's 50,000.
06:21So there's only two reds to go,
06:23so surely by the law of averages,
06:25this has got to be a blue.
06:2672, isn't it?
06:2772 blue.
06:29Keep him in the game, John.
06:30Come on, John.
06:31It's 50 grand.
06:32I hope it's a good one for you.
06:33Come on, come on.
06:35There's only two reds left.
06:37Oh!
06:38Oh!
06:39Oh!
06:40Oh!
06:41No!
06:42Oh, this is terrible.
06:44Somebody needs to start a GoFundMe for Miles.
06:47Deal or no deal.
06:48Right at the end, with two boxes left,
06:50Miles was still smiling.
06:52This is it, Miles.
06:54Crunch time.
06:55Literally.
06:56It's going to be a quid.
06:57It's going to be a quid.
06:59Oh, please.
07:00Come on, Miles.
07:01A quid.
07:02Don't be cruel.
07:03Oh.
07:04Please let it be £50.
07:07Oh, come on.
07:08Come on, Miles.
07:09Please be kind.
07:12Oh, no!
07:14Yeah!
07:16Oh.
07:18And it ain't even going to cover his bus fare.
07:21No.
07:21No.
07:23It is what it is.
07:24He want to watch himself crossing the road tonight.
07:26Yeah.
07:27I tell you now.
07:28Because there's no luck on his side, is there?
07:30No, exactly.
07:31Do you know what he wants to be doing with that pound
07:33that he's won?
07:34Going and putting the lottery on.
07:35Invest it.
07:37In crypto.
07:40So then you'll have minus £10.
07:46In South East London.
07:48Who's that?
07:49Get that.
07:50Oh, bloody hell.
07:53You know it'll be someone trying to sell us something.
07:55Quick.
07:56Sue and her husband, Steve.
07:59Hello.
07:59Will you...
08:01Oh, it's gone now.
08:03We'll do...
08:04What's that number?
08:05It's out of area.
08:07It's my mother.
08:09Oh.
08:10Just as well I didn't answer, didn't I?
08:15On Wednesday night, a bunch of proposal planners
08:18were helping people pop the question on E4.
08:21That's why I started getting my nails done, you know.
08:23In case Josh ever proposed and the picture I took
08:25to him had my nails done.
08:27And has it happened yet?
08:28No, it's been a year nearly.
08:29Do you remember when you proposed to me, were you nervous?
08:33I was nervous of you saying yes.
08:35Shall I take a picture at the TV screen now and send it to Nat?
08:38Yeah, go on.
08:39See what he says.
08:40You're not crying.
08:41I love you.
08:42All it's put is, will you marry me?
08:44In the programme, we met fiance wannabe, Marcella.
08:48So who's the special someone you're hoping to propose to?
08:51My other half.
08:54Well, his name is Peter, but I call him Piero.
08:56Piero.
08:58But there's just one small complication.
09:01I am madly in love with my flatmate.
09:05He just doesn't know that.
09:07Oh, so she's going to ask him out on her?
09:10Oh, that is risky.
09:13How can you propose to somebody who you're not even
09:15in a relationship with?
09:16Piero has been in my life for 22 years.
09:1922 years?
09:19Oh, they should have been banging bar now.
09:22He's slow on the arses, isn't he?
09:23Well, they maybe are.
09:24We were first to know each other when we were in high school.
09:27We were in high school together.
09:29He's slow on the arses, isn't he?
09:30Well, they maybe are.
09:31We were first a couple together.
09:33We were engaged.
09:34Oh, so they've been engaged before.
09:38She's calling him a flatmate, but he is her ex-boyfriend.
09:41And they live together.
09:43And they were engaged.
09:44He never left my life.
09:45He continued to be in my life like my best friend,
09:49like the brother that I never had.
09:51Not the brother.
09:53They're just like life partners, isn't it?
09:55Yeah.
09:56She means everything to me.
09:57She's loving, caring.
10:00He thinks the world of her, doesn't he?
10:01You know what I mean?
10:02You can tell that they love each other.
10:04I think he loves her.
10:06I do.
10:07But he's just happy to be platonic because he
10:09still wants her in his life.
10:10Yeah.
10:11A bit later, we found out what the planners had concocted
10:14for Marcella's proposal.
10:17The agency's idea is for Marcella
10:19to take Piero for a walk with their dogs
10:22to a picturesque park.
10:23The dogs will be involved in the proposal.
10:25That's another thing I would like Vinny to be involved.
10:28There, the two friends will come across a bandstand decked out
10:31with a picnic and decorations.
10:33That's a good idea, isn't it?
10:34That is a good idea.
10:36Make sure there are no glue sniffers and junkies
10:39in the bandstand first.
10:40With the clock ticking down to the moment Marcella confesses
10:43her love to Piero, she and her dogs
10:46have arrived at the proposal location.
10:48Here we go.
10:49It's the big day.
10:50The day of the proposal.
10:52Is that him?
10:52Yeah, I think he is.
10:54Sounds like his van.
10:55Oh, he's come in.
10:56Is he here? Piero, is he here?
10:58Oh, I'm getting all goosey.
11:00Yeah, he's here.
11:01Oh, my God.
11:02He's here.
11:02Oh, my God.
11:03Oh, my God.
11:05She's proper freaking out, hasn't she?
11:07What does your friendship mean to you?
11:10It's a bit deep.
11:11It's a bit deep.
11:12Wait for the show, stop and sit.
11:14Come and take a seat at the bandstand.
11:16You realise that this is just not an ordinary walk,
11:19the dogs, OK?
11:20Yeah.
11:21Well, what is it then?
11:22She's leading up to it.
11:23Oh, here she goes.
11:24Come on, Goo.
11:26I love it.
11:27I love it.
11:27Yeah?
11:28Do you think he's cottoning on?
11:29I don't know.
11:30And this is the way to a future.
11:34This way to our future.
11:37I feel like the penny would be dropping with all these hints.
11:41Yeah.
11:45Oh, she's going to go for it.
11:47Oh, my God.
11:47She's going to see it.
11:48She's going to see it.
11:49I want you to know how grateful I am for you being so patient.
11:56Go on, ask him.
11:57Go on, ask him.
11:58Spit it out.
11:59Spit it out.
12:01Because you've always been here for me, and you will always be.
12:06Oh, she's getting emotional.
12:08This is tearing me up, here.
12:10Oh, he's been here for me.
12:12I've come to realise that maybe I should
12:18ask you to marry me.
12:20Oh, wow.
12:22Oh, wow.
12:23Oh, wow.
12:24Not quite the reaction I was expecting.
12:27Wow.
12:28What's he going to say?
12:30I can't tell from him just saying wow.
12:34Oh, wow, sweetie.
12:35It's a little thing to show you how much I love you.
12:43That said, yeah.
12:44He's not.
12:45He hasn't answered the question.
12:47No.
12:50Oh, sweetie.
12:52Oh, for real?
12:52Yeah, of course I told you.
12:54Oh, no.
12:55Ha ha.
12:56Woo woo woo.
12:56He did.
12:57Yes, yes, yes.
12:59Oh, that's lovely, that.
13:01That's all him use, isn't it?
13:02Yeah.
13:03Well, that's what I mean.
13:05That looks great on you.
13:07Oh, that's a bit like my arthritis bracelet.
13:11I've got a copper arthritis.
13:17Oh, how lovely.
13:18That was nice.
13:19Now, does she get to go out and get a ring?
13:22Yeah, you buy me one now.
13:23No, you get to get me an engagement ring now.
13:25She's dragging him off to H. Samuels this very moment.
13:28Does she cook, Natty?
13:29That would be a, that would swing it for me.
13:32Just like me cooking swung it for you, Mary.
13:36Was I a good cook when I first married you?
13:38Yes.
13:39No, you are a good cook, but what's.
13:40Yeah, but not when I first married you.
13:42Natty, what swung it for me, apart from the jokes,
13:44was that you used to be really good at driving.
13:47Oh.
13:48Yeah.
13:49Oh, what's happened in the last 35 years?
13:53You've become erratic.
13:54Erratic driver, Mary?
13:55What, weaving all over the road?
13:57No, just pointing out that you'd never
13:59have got planning permission and that sort of thing.
14:01Yeah.
14:10In Wiltshire.
14:11Where are you going?
14:12I'm going to go and identify a fresh stain on the staircase.
14:16Giles and his wife, Mary.
14:18Oh, I'm wondering if a bird's got in, Mary.
14:21Not another bird.
14:22Oh, that could be it.
14:23It could be bird poo.
14:26That's what it is.
14:27Is it?
14:28It's another bird's coming into the cottage and it's shat.
14:32Oh, don't say those words.
14:34Oh, sorry.
14:36Well, how else, what else should I say?
14:38It's urinated.
14:39Say it's had an accident.
14:40It's had an accident on the staircase.
14:43This week, there were more contestants
14:45all in a spin looking for fortune on BBC One.
14:50Jesus.
14:51You love the wheel.
14:53I do.
14:53Quick, you're missing the best bit.
14:55Are you ready for the wheel, Simon?
14:57I love the wheel.
14:58I'd love to go on the wheel.
15:04The wheel.
15:07The wheel.
15:09The wheel.
15:11You'd have to have them little things on your wrists,
15:13those pressure things for your travel sickness.
15:15I would be as sick as a dog.
15:19Celebrity experts on the wheel tonight.
15:21Who've we got?
15:22Let's see.
15:23Lee Francis on Spider-Man.
15:27Is Lee Francis Spider-Man?
15:29No, that's his topic.
15:32And Ida Field on Robbie Williams.
15:36On Robbie Williams?
15:37Well, I should think so.
15:38She's his bloody wife.
15:40That's not allowed.
15:42Tell you what, if you need somebody
15:44who knows about Robbie Williams, she's the one.
15:47Well, let's see who is beneath us.
15:50Let's go, let's go, let's go.
15:52It's a one in three.
15:53Who's it going to be?
15:55Lizzie from Norfolk.
15:57Can you do that thing, heart-shaped
15:58natty with your hands?
16:00You've never tried, have you?
16:03Everyone's doing it.
16:04And Steve from Walthamstow.
16:07Oh, that's more like it.
16:09Walthamstow.
16:11Who've we got?
16:13Here we go.
16:14Somebody's coming out of the hole.
16:15Who is it?
16:16Come on, Steve from Walthamstow.
16:22Who the fuck's that?
16:25It's Robbie!
16:28Who the fuck's that?
16:33This is doing nothing for me.
16:35Come on, it's Steve from Walthamstow.
16:38You've been to see Robbie and Take That, haven't you?
16:40I've been to see Take That, I've been to see Robbie.
16:43And didn't you go with Sinead, and did she ruin it
16:45because she got too pissed?
16:46Yep, and I had to hold her head in a back bag
16:48the whole way home from Manchester.
16:49I wish you could stay and play the...
16:52Yes, stay, Boo!
16:53Yes, come on.
16:54Stay!
16:55Stay!
16:56Why don't you sit with me, Boo?
16:58Yes, Boo.
16:58Oh, that must be his, like...
17:00His nickname.
17:01Oh.
17:02Come on, Boo.
17:03Well, it's better than yours, Jeff.
17:05I know, but I like my name.
17:06I like my name.
17:07Come on, Jeff.
17:09Look at you with your little name tag and everything.
17:11That is so sweet.
17:14Why's she talking to him like he's a baby?
17:16Look at you with your little name tag on and everything.
17:20Shut up.
17:21Spin the contestant wheel!
17:23Who have we got?
17:24Here we go, who are they going to bring up now?
17:26Gary Barlow, Mark Owen.
17:31Here we go, who is that?
17:35He wasn't going to take that, was he?
17:36Steve's the other man, isn't he?
17:37Yay!
17:39He's not won anything.
17:40No, I know, but I wanted him to come up.
17:43The categories.
17:44Here we go.
17:44Now, what are you feeling most confident about?
17:47What are you going to go for first?
17:48Fashion.
17:49I might be...
17:50No.
17:50No, I mean, I...
17:51No, you'd be no good at fashion.
17:52Well, go for Robbie Williams.
17:55Yeah, you've got to pick Robbie first when he's sat there.
17:59Man after me own heart there, Steve.
18:01Flick-ass.
18:02Spin the wheel!
18:03Here we go!
18:05Let's go, spin the wheel.
18:06Spin the wheel!
18:08I don't want to stop, DJ.
18:13What?
18:15They're putting Robbie Williams on for it this week.
18:17When's it going to stop?
18:20DJ.
18:21DJ?
18:22It's DJ, Jenny.
18:23It's DJ.
18:24It's DJ, not DJ.
18:25I'm having trouble with him, like.
18:26I don't want to stop.
18:30Oh!
18:31Oh, no.
18:32It's gone past him.
18:33It's gone past him.
18:34Oh, they've not got Robbie.
18:35It's going to be...
18:37Lee.
18:38Oh, Lee will know.
18:41In which of these songs does Robbie ask you
18:44to find him in the yellow pages?
18:47In the yellow pages.
18:49Oh, God.
18:50What do you reckon?
18:50Oh, I know this.
18:52She's the one, come undone, let me entertain you.
18:57It's definitely let me entertain you.
18:59I never listen to the lyrics.
19:01I just listen to the tune.
19:02I've got, you've got, we've got everybody.
19:07If you can't get a girl, but your best friend can,
19:09it's time to move your body.
19:11Oh, I don't know, you know.
19:12Is that let me entertain you?
19:14Don't think it is.
19:16What are you going to lock in?
19:18I'm going to go, I'm going to say let me entertain you.
19:20Yes!
19:21Yes!
19:21Yeah, well done, Steve.
19:23I suppose Robbie should reveal where the yellow page is.
19:27By singing it.
19:28Yeah, you've got to sing it.
19:29Yeah.
19:30Robbie's like, what?
19:31Something, something, rock of ages,
19:33I will be your something, something, da, da, da, da,
19:35yellow page.
19:36Yes!
19:39I think he's being serious as well.
19:41With Robbie, right, I feel like he's only
19:43doing this because people might have
19:45forgot he existed because of him getting a bit older now.
19:49Maybe he's just trying to make himself current again.
19:51So Nap Hill struggled to get this programme
19:53to entertain me, Nata.
19:54I know.
19:57In home.
19:58You know, when I set out, I was looking forward
20:00to Ray coming home.
20:01Oh, yeah.
20:01And the first night you come home, he drove me mad with snoring.
20:07He's always done that.
20:08Best friends, Jenny and Lee.
20:10Listen to this.
20:19What is he like?
20:23What are you laughing at?
20:25That's me.
20:26You?
20:27I know it's you.
20:28Yeah.
20:32I told you, you're a pig.
20:36On Wednesday night, we got a bird's eye view
20:39of some stunning scenery on Moor 4.
20:42National parks from above.
20:46From drones.
20:47I guess that's going to make more people go
20:50to them, which is annoying.
20:51I'm all over this like a rash.
20:53Get me notepad and pen because I'm going
20:55to every single one of these.
20:58Never been to the Lake District?
21:00No.
21:00The Pig District?
21:01No.
21:02Well, one park is the same as any other park, isn't it, to me?
21:07In the program, we were taken to Iceland,
21:09where we saw a bunch of lads taking a stroll.
21:12When I was in school, we were told about the stones.
21:15Not seen his face yet, but I know he's strong.
21:17Yeah.
21:18And I can picture him already.
21:20He's literally got his skinners down to the bone.
21:23Yeah.
21:23Just a tuft of hair here.
21:25Yeah.
21:26And I think.
21:27Yeah.
21:31For fuck's sake.
21:33Everybody here in Iceland knows about the stones.
21:35The stones?
21:36What are they going to do with these rocks?
21:38Lift them up.
21:39It's said that four of these stones
21:40have lain here for over 400 years.
21:43Christ, 400 years, those stones have been there?
21:45Are them stones?
21:47It's a wonder nobody have nicked them before now, isn't it?
21:50The heaviest stone is 154 kilograms.
21:53Blimey.
21:55That's three times my maximum weight
21:57at the World Dwarf Games, just for comparison.
22:00And this one, this has grip here.
22:04And this one has nothing.
22:05This is so primal.
22:06Yeah.
22:07This is primal activities.
22:08Lifting one of the heaviest three
22:10once showed you had the strength to be
22:12an oarsman on a fishing boat.
22:14An oarsman?
22:15An oarsman.
22:16What, do you need that strength for?
22:18Oh, aye, yeah.
22:19You silly bastard, that.
22:20The heavier the stone you lifted, the more you got paid.
22:23I'll fucking lift all four of them at once, pal.
22:27Physical weights tomorrow, I'll lift these, no bother.
22:29Gumi is one of the proud few to have lifted the heaviest one.
22:33Some guys will do anything to get away from their wives.
22:37When I was young and healthy, now I'm old and my back broke.
22:41Because you lifted the 153-kilogram stone, mate,
22:44I'll probably do that to you.
22:45I've not seen any women there yet.
22:46No, no, well, they've got more sense, love.
22:49The real test for the group falls to the younger generation.
22:53The young buck stepping up to show the old bulls how it's done.
22:56Can Thor prove himself by lifting the heaviest stone?
22:59Oh, what a name.
23:01He's going to be Thor after all this.
23:03Thor is my son-in-law.
23:05Oh, he's out to impress you, man, isn't he?
23:07Oh, I see, well, I'll see.
23:09He's young and strong, and I think he can take it all.
23:12Couldn't there time be more usefully employed, Nutty,
23:14at the baggage handling of Reykjavik than that?
23:18Couldn't they be baggage handlers, Nutty?
23:21It wouldn't be so interesting to watch.
23:24I'm supposed to be able to do it, but I'm not really sure if I can.
23:28Come on, Thor, you got this, man.
23:29Don't fuck it up, Thor, please.
23:30Not in front of the old man.
23:34Thor, would you?
23:36Not in that position.
23:40That looks fucking heavy, that one right there, I'm not going to lie.
23:43You haven't got the grip, son, he's slipping, he's slipping.
23:46Love, don't worry, he's going to get it.
23:48He's got it, Gaston!
23:50Yes, yes, yes!
23:52He's got it, he's got the big pebble.
23:55He's got to put it down, though.
23:58Oh, my life.
24:00Get it on the ledge, get it on the ledge!
24:02Yeah!
24:04Fair play!
24:06Oh, my days!
24:08Yes!
24:10Yes!
24:12Yes!
24:14Yes!
24:17Dude!
24:19Look, he's getting respect, Mary.
24:21Not a lot goes on in Iceland, I'm gathering from there.
24:24I'd love to be able to lift a stone like that.
24:27Elliot, you can't even stand up from a squatting position
24:30with nothing in your arms.
24:32Do I try?
24:38Go on, go on!
24:40I can't.
24:42I can't.
24:43I'm going to win!
24:47BLEEP
24:53In Caffilly...
24:54The other day, you frightened me to death.
24:56When?
24:57When you went out the back, and you put a dog bag over your head.
25:00Because I didn't want to get my hair wet, I was picking up the dog shit.
25:04I too, it's like, ah, there's somebody with a black bag on her head,
25:07like, ah, they're blacking out.
25:09Dave and his wife, Shirley.
25:12And that's frightening?
25:14Well, it's not attractive, put it that way.
25:16Well, I don't see anything frightening in that.
25:18No, cos you're not looking at it.
25:20So that frightened you, did it?
25:22Well, if you turned round, Shirley, in all fairness,
25:25and seen somebody coming through the back door
25:28with a black bag on their head...
25:30I'm used to it now.
25:31You are, I'm not.
25:32I'm going to get two pom-poms, there.
25:35Pom-poms?
25:37That could be a fashion item, that could.
25:39It could be, but it's not.
25:41On Monday, things were heating up stateside.
25:44ITV News had all the details.
25:47News, Mary?
25:48Yes, if I have to.
25:50This is the ITV Evening News with Mary Nightingale.
25:55I don't like the clash of the blazer and the shirt there.
25:57Someone's really done her over.
25:59Shoot.
26:00A pinstripe and a paisley.
26:02Donald Trump has been forced to distance himself
26:04from a succession of racist and offensive remarks
26:07made at a campaign rally.
26:09How can he when it's all he makes?
26:11What was that, racist and what?
26:13Sexist?
26:15I didn't think she said sexist.
26:17It could be anything.
26:19It could be anything-ist with Trump.
26:23Even before it started, the tone of this rally was clear.
26:26What? There's bits blurred out.
26:28There's an F in there.
26:29I think it says, fuck Kamala.
26:31It's getting a bit hairy, isn't it, Mary?
26:35Humanity's not looking good at the moment, is it?
26:38No.
26:39In America's most storied venue...
26:42Trump will fix it.
26:44That's not great PR, is it?
26:46No.
26:47Trump will fix it.
26:48Well, we've heard that before, haven't we?
26:50Jim will fix it.
26:51Oh, my God.
26:52That didn't end well.
26:53Thousands gathered for a celebration of American nativism
26:56and fury towards Kamala Harris.
27:00Look at that lot.
27:02That's an example of the American dream, Natty.
27:04That's going to give me nightmares, that man.
27:06From the first speaker, a theme of racism and vulgarity emerged.
27:11Oh, dear.
27:12There's literally a floating island of garbage
27:15in the middle of the ocean right now.
27:17Yeah. I think it's called Puerto Rico.
27:19How can he say that?
27:21Now, I'm not Puerto Rican, but that'd fuck me off.
27:24Well, I imagine it's meant to be funny.
27:26It's not very funny, is it?
27:27I tell you, you won't be happy with that comment.
27:29Who?
27:30Mr Ricky Martin.
27:31Of course, Richard Martin.
27:33I thought he were dead.
27:34No, he's living.
27:36She is the devil, whoever screamed that out.
27:39She is the anti-Christ.
27:41Oh, my God!
27:43Come on, these guys, why are they so angry and red?
27:46I know.
27:47Her and her pimp handlers will destroy our country.
27:50They're all going to have cardiac arrests, these old men.
27:53Do you know what I'm seeing here is that, you know,
27:58predominantly white males are down-beating a black female.
28:05I don't see no stinking Nazis in here!
28:08Hulk Hogan! No!
28:11Don't ruin Hulk Hogan for me.
28:13Ruined?
28:14He's a big Trump supporter.
28:15Is he? Yeah.
28:16Kamala Harris has got Bruce Springsteen and Beyonce.
28:20Donald Trump's got Hulk Hogan.
28:23Trump's message was deadly serious.
28:25And I'm hereby calling for the death penalty for any migrant
28:28that kills an American citizen or a law enforcement officer.
28:33Oh, my God, I think this has gone too far now, too far.
28:36The thing is, he doesn't really care what he says,
28:39and I don't think his followers care what he says either.
28:42They just like the idea of him.
28:44In a week's time, we'll find out if this rally
28:47has made any difference to this election.
28:49To be fair, you just think, I'm glad I don't live in America.
28:52Oh, I am.
28:53I'd be absolutely bricking it if I lived in America.
28:55You know, whatever happens, though, in this election,
28:58history's going to be made either way, isn't it?
29:01You're going to have either your first female president...
29:04Yeah.
29:05..or your first ever convicted criminal as president,
29:08so it's history-making.
29:13Got one of those emails that's saying your password
29:16has been compromised.
29:18Do you get those? Yes.
29:20Do you do anything about them?
29:22I delete them.
29:23Simon and his sister Jane.
29:25This one was linked to my mortgage,
29:29and I thought, well, to be honest, they're welcome to it.
29:36If they want to start paying that off, I'm more than happy.
29:39On Wednesday night, we met some very close mums and sons on TLC.
29:44Like, I want to be the mummy's boy,
29:46but Mum's got such a soft spot for you.
29:49I could rob a bank and still be the favourite son.
29:52But you'd rob it so efficiently, that's it.
29:54That's definitely a mummy's boy.
29:56Where is that? At his mum's.
29:58Oh.
29:59Mummy's big strong boy!
30:02My name is Shahid.
30:03Is that his wife? No, that's his mother.
30:06What, cleaning his sodding teeth?
30:08And this is my mum, aka my best friend.
30:11His mum's his best friend.
30:13Am I your best friend? No.
30:15My mum really doesn't think anybody is good enough for me.
30:18But we know we can't date each other.
30:20But you would if you could, basically.
30:22Not the phrasing, we know we can't.
30:24We know we can't. Not we don't want to.
30:26Yeah, yeah, we know we can't date each other, so that's aye.
30:29That's an option sadly out the window. Unfortunately.
30:32Rain or shine, hell or high water,
30:35I'm going to be there.
30:37Any time you catch me round at Mum's house
30:39is when I've got the kids on my own.
30:41This programme reminds me of the time that your mum said
30:44that when we get married,
30:46she's going to walk down the aisle before me to the song
30:49I Loved Him First.
30:51I'm Josh, and this right here is my beautiful wife, Janelle.
30:56Dude, wife don't seem happy at all, man.
30:59I don't know what's going on.
31:01A little weird's going on here, innit?
31:03And this is my beautiful mother, Tina.
31:05Hi.
31:07Look at Janelle's face, Simon.
31:09Have you seen his wife? I know.
31:11She's still, after 12 years, she's still got that look.
31:14I don't know what to say. I wish she would fuck off. Yeah.
31:17Gorgeous.
31:19What is he doing? He's blow-drying his mum's hair.
31:22I'd never brush Mum's hair. Yeah.
31:24I'd brush Dad's hair, though. Would you? Yeah.
31:27Rather shave Dad's neck.
31:30Yeah, and my chest.
31:33The most important person in my world is my mother.
31:36What?! What?!
31:38Oh, shit. Can't she see that I'm in front of you, missus?
31:41Bloody hell.
31:43I think all my stuff would be in bin bags on the drive.
31:46My mum and I on Friday nights have had a special date night
31:49since I was about 18 years old.
31:51Oh, Helena, we need date nights together.
31:54I'd like that.
31:56So when does Janelle come into this mix?
31:58Well, by the looks of it, she doesn't.
32:00There has been times that Tina has ended up in the bed with us.
32:04You're constantly trying to see how far you can push it.
32:07Oh, that's wrong. No. Oh, that is wrong.
32:10No.
32:11No, no, no, no.
32:16Thank you, baby.
32:17Oh, they're going for their date night, are they?
32:20He's taken out for a meal, man.
32:22Where's his wife, then?
32:24I might have to bring something home to Nellie after.
32:26Maybe, like, the rest of my salad or something.
32:28You know what? Let's worry about her later.
32:31God, she sounds like a bloody nightmare, does Tina.
32:34Monster-in-law.
32:35The nice thing about these shows is that you kind of look
32:38at your own complicated family and you go,
32:40you know what, we're not too bad compared to these jokers.
32:43Actually, Tina's a narcissist.
32:45What does that mean?
32:47I don't know what it means.
32:49But in my head, I do.
32:52Do you know what I'm saying?
32:54Not at all. That's why I asked you what it was.
32:56Like, you know when you know what something means
32:58but you just can't explain it?
33:03No.
33:04I wish I could explain it to you cos then you'd be like,
33:07oh, yeah, Tina really is a narcissist.
33:17In Blackpool...
33:18Do you know what I feel like I'm being hit with at the moment?
33:21What? Like, just massive karma.
33:23You know how, when we were kids... Yeah.
33:26..in, like, the day before Christmas, I'd go to Mum,
33:29oh, I want something completely different now for Christmas.
33:32Now Jimmy's doing the same thing to us.
33:34Pete and his little sister Sophie.
33:36So you wanted to dress up as Woody for Halloween, right? Yeah.
33:39Anyway, lo and behold, we're a couple of days away.
33:44What do you want to dress up as? A fucking skeleton.
33:47And then Paige had the cheek to go, well, you wouldn't need to dress up, Pete.
33:50Skeleton. Just take my top off.
33:54This week, the plot thickened
33:56as Sky's murderous comedy thriller continued.
33:59Do you like Sweet Pea? I did.
34:01She's had a rough time, Brienne.
34:03It just shows you there's always another side to serial killers.
34:06OK. You shouldn't judge them too harshly.
34:08I wish they wouldn't make programmes about female serial killers.
34:12It'll give women ideas. Yeah.
34:17She's killed two people now, Ellie.
34:19She's turning into a bloodthirsty murderer.
34:21She's a serial killer.
34:23I guess my blood's morning...
34:25Do you remember when I thought this was a comedy?
34:27SHE LAUGHS
34:29What a fool I was.
34:30I'm not a very vengeful person.
34:32No, I'm not. You've probably took revenge on me.
34:34Yeah, probably the only person I've taken revenge on is you.
34:37In the programme, we saw Rhiannon on the phone
34:40to her archenemy and estate agent, Julia Blankensop.
34:45Hello, Julia speaking.
34:48Hi, it's Rhiannon.
34:51Oh, hi. Hi.
34:53Stunned. Hi.
34:54I know Saren's really keen to get the photos.
34:56I did a big clear-out here,
34:59so, um, it would be good for you to see.
35:03Are you free this evening, maybe, after work?
35:06She's trying to get around so she can do her in.
35:10She wants to lure her there under false pretences and...
35:13Well, it's really... I can do tomorrow evening.
35:19Great. Tomorrow's perfect.
35:22Let me check my murder-file effects. No, yeah, tomorrow's fine.
35:25Right, lovely. I'll get the knowledge shot.
35:28SHE LAUGHS
35:32She's got it all prepped.
35:34Well, she have, haven't she? Body bag, freezer.
35:43Craig's her fancy man.
35:46Yes, who also now works for her
35:49because she inherited the dad's business.
35:55Oh, this is where Craig works.
35:57Oh, she's going to go and surprise Craig.
36:01I mean, look, if it was me, I'd have a hot tub in every room.
36:04Oh, no!
36:06Not fucking Julia again.
36:08What's blim-blam-blam doing there?
36:10What's Julia Blankensop doing at Craig's workshop?
36:13Rhiannon, er, hi.
36:15Awkward.
36:16Oh, look, we were just going over the plans for Tommy's house, so...
36:20What? Tommy's house is her house.
36:23Well, what's Julia doing here?
36:25Because plans for the house have no relevance to Julia, has it?
36:28What plans? I'm putting in an offer.
36:31What on her house?
36:32Can you imagine your school bully is going to buy your family home
36:36and throw you out?
36:38It does justify a death.
36:42You're buying my house?
36:44Look, it's just an idea. Don't freak out.
36:47SHE LAUGHS
36:48She's freaking out.
36:49Oh, you've dropped your bottle of wine.
36:51That, love, we call him an ogue.
36:53I'm going to go.
36:54It's fine, look, I'll sort you out, OK?
36:56I mean, look, I've had the two people on this earth
36:59you wouldn't want to look a dickhead in front of,
37:02and she's just done it.
37:05Oh, she's taken her phone.
37:07Was that her phone?
37:08Oh, Christ, this is all going to kick off now, love.
37:13Is she going to slash the tyres, maybe, with the knife?
37:16That would be good.
37:19Oh, God.
37:20What's that to do with that? You know, I've tried.
37:22Have you?
37:24You what? You want a hit?
37:30She's a bugger, isn't she?
37:31What's her plan here, do you think?
37:33Oh, I don't know.
37:34She wants her walking, though, she doesn't want her driving.
37:36Yeah, or asking for a lift.
37:40They're coming out.
37:47Right, you go on your merry way, Craig.
37:49Oh, my God, she's made a trap, because she can't go anywhere now
37:52because of a flat tyre. What's she going to do?
37:54Oh, shit! Craig!
37:57He's gone. Oh, oh, oh!
37:59And she hasn't got her phone, remember?
38:04You see, now, if this was Paige getting in Julia's car,
38:07even though it's got a flat tyre, she wouldn't notice.
38:10So she'd drive it all the way home.
38:16Beautiful. What's going to happen?
38:18Good evening.
38:20Good evening, missus.
38:24Oh, shit.
38:26Rhiannon to the rescue.
38:28Hi.
38:29Who are we rooting for in this, by the way?
38:31I am rooting for Rhiannon.
38:33The serial killer? Yeah.
38:34OK, I'm glad you just double-checked that.
38:36I don't know why. I know, I don't.
38:38Serial killer's got to kill.
38:40Oh, shit.
38:41I'll give you a lift.
38:43I could give you a lift if you want.
38:45You sort this out tomorrow.
38:46You can come in Passion Wagon with me, I'll drop you off.
38:48Don't go in it, Julia.
38:52Oh!
38:54This is getting exciting, man.
38:58Wait, why are we here?
39:00Oh, she's taking her to the house.
39:02I just wanted to show you something.
39:04If you're thinking of buying the place, you know,
39:06black spots in the garage.
39:08Do not go in the garage.
39:10Oh, you won't be coming out the beggar?
39:12And you're in a black bag? Yeah.
39:14Ah!
39:20That's all the freezer stuff. The freezer's empty.
39:22Yeah, yeah.
39:24It's a big bit of ham.
39:26It's definitely ham. I thought it was gammon.
39:30Did you hear about the stabbing at the canal?
39:32What's that behind her back? Is that a knife?
39:34Is that a knife she's got?
39:36Rhiannon, is it? Is it?
39:38It looked like it.
39:40Has she stood on the plastic?
39:42Have you not watched any murder programmes?
39:44Sorry, where am I supposed to be looking?
39:46It was me, Julia.
39:48Go on, tell her. Go on.
39:50I killed those men.
39:52Oh, my God. For the actual fuck?
39:54They deserved it.
39:56They were bullies.
39:58Just like you.
40:00Part of me wants her to kill her
40:02and part of me doesn't.
40:04Oh!
40:06Hand back to the face! Quick, get her!
40:08Oh, she's gone past that.
40:10Shitting hell, man.
40:12The knife's gone under the freezer!
40:14Oh!
40:16Oh!
40:18Shit, she's slipped.
40:20Slipped on the tiles.
40:22Well, everything's wet, innit?
40:24She's defrosting things there, isn't she?
40:30Deal with the ham.
40:34Whoa!
40:36Whoa!
40:38On that death certificate,
40:40it's going to be knocked out by Gammon.
40:46Oh, God.
40:48This bloody show.
40:50Oh, why does it always go off at the best bit?
40:52I want to have a lie down, but I'm a little bit worried
40:54you've locked the door and I'll never get out.
40:56My weapon of choice,
40:58if I was in the kitchen,
41:00would be a rolling pin,
41:02because I feel like it's a good one to hold.
41:04To hold?
41:06That would be a really good weapon of choice.
41:08Or, if you couldn't get to the rolling pin,
41:10even a cucumber.
41:16In Leeds...
41:18Ellie, Jesus, your man's spreading all the way over here, nearly.
41:22Have I got a hole in my crotch?
41:24I bloody hope not.
41:26No, we're safe.
41:28God, thank God for that.
41:30Sisters Ellie and Dissy.
41:32What am I doing?
41:34I don't know, I just settled myself
41:36feeling comfy in this position.
41:40Is there something wrong?
41:42I feel like you're invading my space.
41:44Bloody hell, I'm in comfort in my own home.
41:46I can't sit with my legs crossed on my sofa.
41:48You want a man spreading your own home,
41:50then you will.
41:52Exactly.
41:54On Friday, we had something for the weekend on ITV.
41:56Are you ready for this morning?
41:58I am today.
42:00Glad you're in a good mood.
42:02You go back to sleep, love.
42:04It's too early for you to get up, innit?
42:08Ain't it terrible when you wake up in the morning
42:10and you think to yourself,
42:12what day is it today?
42:14Oh, no.
42:16That's what happens when you retire, Ronnie.
42:18Hey, do you know something?
42:20The countdown...
42:22Yeah?
42:24..to the Christmas party season is now on.
42:26She ain't wrong.
42:28I went to Tesco's yesterday
42:30and it was sequins galore in the clothing department.
42:32Well, I've been after a dress for a Christmas do.
42:34Since September, I've been looking, but I thought...
42:36Get yourself to Tesco.
42:38Do you know what I do miss?
42:40A works Christmas do.
42:42You know, everywhere Debenhams went, we got bums.
42:44Hello! Hello, Jo!
42:46Nice to see you, Jo. How's it going?
42:48Very good, thank you.
42:50So are you getting loads of people asking about a Zempig at the moment?
42:52A fair few, yes.
42:54I asked the doctor about Ozenpig.
42:56400 pound to boats.
42:58And buy it.
43:00400 pound a month, buff.
43:02400 quid?
43:04Well, you are losing pounds if you're paying that for it, aren't you?
43:06Yeah.
43:08And are you like, guys, you can do it the natural way?
43:10Absolutely, without the drugs.
43:12Yes.
43:14I can't do the fitness.
43:16You can do chair fitness, Ronnie.
43:18As much as I'd like to, I can't do...
43:20You can do chair fitness, Ronnie.
43:22You can.
43:24I can't do anything like that.
43:26Well, once you get there,
43:28there's not two ways about it.
43:30One, two.
43:32Three.
43:34Four.
43:36So what we're going to do first of all
43:38is a lunge back.
43:40A lunge back?
43:42Oh, it's like Legs, Bums and Tongues, yes?
43:44You're just going to take your right leg back into a lunge.
43:46Oh, I hate lunges.
43:48What you can also do...
43:50You feel it straight away, don't you?
43:52You can get right into your glute,
43:54and your glutes are your powerhouse.
43:56I don't like that word, glute.
43:58Gluteus Maximus.
44:00Yeah, mine is.
44:02You can add a little bit of work.
44:04We're on the weights.
44:08Weights, what's she going to do now?
44:12So again, you add your weight.
44:14One kilo?
44:16Have you got two kilo?
44:18Do you do bigger than one kilo?
44:20You don't do six.
44:22I have done.
44:24Let's go on to a plie.
44:26A plie.
44:28So again, a lovely leg exercise.
44:30So we get our bums ready for Christmas.
44:32What does she mean we get our bums ready for Christmas?
44:34My bum's ready for Christmas,
44:36and I'm practising what I'm going to be doing at Christmas
44:38right this second.
44:40Keep the back nice and tall.
44:42Bend the knees and just go down and press up.
44:44And push into your heels.
44:46I don't think I could get that low.
44:48The only way to do it is to be rich
44:50and have a trainer come to your house and bully you.
44:52You want to work into your back,
44:54so for your deportment.
44:56So what we're going to do,
44:58and also there's those backless dresses.
45:00Let me get ready for this backless dress season.
45:02Well, I can't wear backless dresses
45:04because if you wear a backless dress
45:06that means you've got to wear no bra
45:08and there's not a cat in hell's chance I could go bra-less.
45:10So why don't we come down onto the floor.
45:12Down on the floor now, Sian.
45:14So again, we've got triceps.
45:16This is for your bingo wings.
45:18And your back fat.
45:20And push it up.
45:22Now we're talking.
45:24Can you feel this into the triceps?
45:26Very much.
45:28I can feel my bingo wings falling off me already.
45:30They're melting away.
45:32This is a long slot, Natty.
45:34Can I just have the jab?
45:36Sorry.
45:38Can I just have the jab?
45:40You saying what we're all thinking, Alison.
45:42Do you know what I'm going to do?
45:44And I'm not going to do a Zen pic.
45:46I'm going to do nothing and be happy with myself.
45:48I think you're perfect as you are, lover.
45:50I am.
45:52I started off the day well today.
45:54I had Weetabix, Ezra's leftover Weetabix.
45:56And then I had a fruit salad for my breakfast.
45:58Great.
46:00Well done.
46:02Next thing you know, I'll drop Ezra off at the Childminders.
46:04On the way back, where do I go?
46:06McDonald's.
46:08Smacky's drive-thru.
46:10For a sausage and egg McMuffin and hash browns
46:12on the side.
46:14And an orange juice.
46:16Yeah, and an orange juice.
46:18And a coffee.
46:20A coffee, yeah.
46:22Toasted marshmallow latte.
46:30So if the question that you want to pop is
46:32how can I watch
46:34Will You Marry Me? faceless voiceover person?
46:36Well, it's streaming right now.
46:38As is Undead Pensioners
46:40versus Very Alive Teenagers
46:42Horror Satire Generation Z.
46:44And you can watch it Sundays and Mondays at 9 as well.
46:46Stay with us.
46:48Comedy kingpin Armando Iannucci
46:50joins the last leg next night.