Gogglebox - Season 25 Episode 4
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00:00How many calories are in that, Sian?
00:04White shirt and chocolate.
00:08Have you got your bib?
00:11Oh, no!
00:12It's everywhere, mate.
00:14Oh, stinker!
00:25Oh, that's me! YOLO!
00:27You always get one, don't you?
00:29What's going on here?
00:30Nobody wants the bum all terrorised.
00:32Right, I'm not watching anymore.
00:34Who shot him?
00:35Him!
00:36Yoo-hoo!
00:37Yes! Yes, yes!
00:39Oh, no!
00:40I like it already.
00:41Is that a bomb? What is it?
00:43Oh, woolly!
00:44Oh, no!
00:46Oh, it's bleeding!
00:47Oh, I'm getting all goosey.
00:49Well, what exciting times we live in.
00:52In the week scientists created a woolly mouse that might help bring back a woolly mammoth,
00:57we enjoyed lots of great telly.
01:00Mouse Australia was back for better or for worse on E4.
01:04The kind of partnership I'm hoping for is one of a traditional nature.
01:08I admire a time when Cording was talking on the phone.
01:11Flowers on a first date.
01:13Opening of car doors.
01:15Does Nat open car doors for you, Ellie?
01:17I think he does, you know.
01:19I mean, I don't sit there and wait for him to do it, but
01:22if I'm scrolling on my phone, he opens the door to tell me to get off my phone and get out of the car.
01:29Shall we see her new home first?
01:30Come on, let's explore!
01:32Martin Comston had bought a new house on Prime Video.
01:36Shall we close the shutters?
01:39There's no-one overlooking us.
01:45You do crease your room, don't you? You do, like most people do, you know, in the bank.
01:49A lot of people, like, crease in every room.
01:51Do you?
01:52Yeah.
01:53Did you?
01:54We only had a talk, two and a half.
01:55Oh, it was that quick, then?
01:56It was all right.
01:58With an extension at the back.
02:01And the leader of the free world was having a tantrum on the BBC.
02:05You're gambling with the lives of millions of people.
02:08You're gambling with World War III.
02:10You're gambling with World War III.
02:13It's one of the worst things, I can't think of anything worse than this, Mary.
02:17That you've seen?
02:18Oh, yes, I have seen something worse.
02:20What was that?
02:21It's a royal knockout.
02:22Oh, yeah.
02:23Do you remember? It's a royal knockout.
02:24Yes, that was worse.
02:25That was worse than this?
02:26Almost worse.
02:27OK.
02:35In the room.
02:36How would you say these are?
02:37Queen-a-wa.
02:38Well, me too, but I found out it's called...
02:41Queen-wa.
02:42Best friends Abby and Georgia.
02:45Queen-wa.
02:46Queen-a.
02:47Queen-wa.
02:48Queen-a?
02:49Queen-wa.
02:51What have you just called them?
02:53Queen-wa.
02:54Queen-wa.
02:56I think they suit Queen-a-wa better.
02:58I think Queen-a-wa sounds better.
03:00Queen-a-wa chips.
03:01On Saturday night, ITV1 had us all in a spin again.
03:06Oh!
03:08I hate it when people bring things back from the olden days and do it up.
03:12They think of something new, stop using things from the past.
03:15It's cheating.
03:16Wheel of Fortune.
03:19Wheel of Fortune, or as I like to call it, Woff.
03:22Wheel of Fortune's a good one, and even you can play it,
03:24cos surely you can get a word.
03:25You're not crazy, you're not stuck.
03:27Listen, I've started Wordle now.
03:29And we go!
03:31Oh, lovely!
03:32It's always the same, loads of noise and colours and shiny floors,
03:37flashing lights.
03:38Bright lights, Mary.
03:39A lot of people are attracted to bright lights.
03:43You were attracted to the bright lights of London,
03:46which is why you made your way from Northern Ireland,
03:49from a dank little port, all the way to the bright lights of London.
03:53Here comes another triple toss-up!
03:55A what?
03:56Did he say a triple toss-up?
03:58Yeah.
03:59I thought he did, too.
04:00And your clue for all three is perks of working from home.
04:05You don't have to get washed.
04:07You don't have to get dressed, you don't have to do your hair.
04:09You don't have to do anything.
04:11All you have to do is move the mouse to make it look like you're doing something.
04:14Let's see who gets it first.
04:16I hate letters.
04:17I hate this.
04:18It's worth £500.
04:20Something out.
04:21Taking out.
04:23The bins.
04:26Working without your pants.
04:27Working without your pants.
04:28How can you be without pants when it's P something TS?
04:34Hanging out with your pa...
04:38Pits.
04:39Pals.
04:40Pits.
04:41Pits.
04:42Hanging out with your pets.
04:43Wow.
04:44Shirley.
04:45Hanging out with your pets.
04:48Got it!
04:49Go on, Abs!
04:51That is definitely not one of the perks of working from home, hanging out with your pets.
04:55Because if I'm on the phone, he starts barking or licking his balls.
05:01Perks of working from home.
05:04Making...
05:06Macarons.
05:07Making boomerang pie.
05:09Making afternoon tea.
05:14Taking an afternoon nap.
05:16Taking an afternoon nap.
05:18You are good at this.
05:19Because afternoon naps slap.
05:21Anna Shirley.
05:22Taking afternoon naps.
05:24Is she right?
05:25Also known as taking the piss.
05:27So far these perks have not actually said productivity, efficiency, better engagement.
05:33It's just like not doing work.
05:35This next puzzle is a linked phrase.
05:38Right, here we go, linked phrases.
05:40What does it mean by linked phrases?
05:42It's like...
05:43It's like...
05:44Oh, hang on.
05:45It's telling us, shut up!
05:46I'm asking you.
05:47Two phrases linked together by a common word.
05:49For example, hit the nail on the head, chef.
05:52Following?
05:53Cryptic, that, isn't it?
05:54Convoluted, that.
05:55Hit the nail on the head, chef.
05:57Never heard of it.
05:58Yeah, but no, it's hit the nail on the head.
06:00Yeah?
06:01Head, chef.
06:02Adele, look at you, spinning the wheel already.
06:05There you go.
06:07This is going to be a little bit harder than the first round.
06:09T.
06:10T?
06:11T, is it there?
06:12Five of them.
06:13Five Ts.
06:15You've got £1,000.
06:17It'll, T-L, T apostrophe, it's got a bit of double L, isn't it?
06:21H.
06:22OK.
06:23There are three of those.
06:25The.
06:26I've got the.
06:27It'll be all right on the night.
06:29I think you've got it, Daniela, but you're very annoying with it.
06:32S.
06:33Are there Ss?
06:34There are two Ss up there for £700.
06:36Shits.
06:39E, please.
06:41Three Es on the board.
06:44Sweats.
06:45Night sweats.
06:46Sweats.
06:47I got that, yeah, I got it.
06:48But I got it.
06:49No, I got it, Jenny, E in the name.
06:50What are you going to do now?
06:51You going to spin again?
06:52OK, just spin, spin, spin.
06:53Hang on, does Adele not know what this is?
06:55What, she's doing a spin again?
06:57Yeah, but she's not old enough to have night sweats.
06:59Neither am I.
07:00She doesn't know what you are, you lying twat.
07:03CHEERING
07:05SHE GASPS
07:07Oh-ho-ho!
07:08She's lost it.
07:09No, she loses a turn.
07:11I know, but someone else is going to clean up, they know it.
07:13I know, I know that.
07:14You know it, I know it.
07:15Come on, come on, come on.
07:16This is worse than Christmas Day.
07:17Stop enjoying it.
07:18You're giving me...
07:19You're giving me night sweats.
07:21Can I solve it, please, Graham?
07:23Yes, you can.
07:24Yes, Shirley's got this.
07:25Shirley's got it.
07:26Does that mean she knows what it is?
07:28Yeah.
07:29It'll be all right on the night sheets.
07:32No!
07:34Sweats, you daft sod!
07:36SHE GASPS
07:37Sheets with an A!
07:38SHE LAUGHS
07:39She acts.
07:40It'll be all right on the night.
07:42She acts.
07:43SHE LAUGHS
07:46In hall...
07:47Jenny, stop messing around with them blands.
07:49What are you doing?
07:50No!
07:51Oh, I can't.
07:52Oh, you're going to break them.
07:53Hang on, I've got it, I've got it, I've got it.
07:55Now just let go.
07:56Best friends Jenny and Lee.
07:58Why have you got two like that?
08:00Because...
08:01You put them together and just go like that...
08:04..and let go that way.
08:06Now let your arm go with it.
08:08Oh, I don't believe you.
08:11No!
08:12You keep your hand on it.
08:15Right, now, let go.
08:17Oh, it's too fast.
08:18Oh, look at the state of them.
08:19Oh, it's all right.
08:20I'll do it myself.
08:21They'll be all right.
08:22You only had one job to do.
08:24You only had one job to do.
08:26God...
08:28..cheap shit.
08:29SHE LAUGHS
08:31On Sunday night, there was a new sheriff in town,
08:34bringing us a natural history extravaganza on BBC One.
08:38Oh, here we go, surely America's been waiting for this.
08:41Yeah.
08:42Tom Hanks is narrating it, isn't he?
08:44And he's good, isn't he, at narrating things?
08:46Oh, where are you?
08:47He's got the voice, hasn't he?
08:48Very mellow.
08:49Yeah.
08:50It's like a bloody wildlife programme in here tonight with these two.
08:55Did you know there's more than one America?
08:58Well, I did.
08:59Central...
09:01..South...
09:02..and there's another one I think that's just the normal one.
09:06The normal one.
09:08America.
09:09Here in the suburbs...
09:12..there are aliens living among us.
09:16Aliens? What are they?
09:18This peaceful corner of Maryland...
09:21..is about to be invaded.
09:24With what?
09:25What is it?
09:26Something's going to come out of that hole.
09:32Oh, what the fuck is that?
09:34A kweb. It's got to be a kweb.
09:36Is that a kweb?
09:39This male...
09:41..and thousands of others.
09:43Oh!
09:44Oh, what are they?
09:45Are they cockroaches?
09:47I think fucking Tom's trying to tell us here,
09:49but I can't hear him.
09:50..have spent 17 years...
09:53..deep underground.
09:55Well, I came out after 40 years, so...
09:57Yeah, I was 48.
09:59They are called periodical cicadas.
10:02Never heard of a periodical cicada before.
10:04My chickens had made bloody shark work then.
10:0617 years earlier, George W Bush was in the White House.
10:12You'll want to get back quick when you find out who's in it now.
10:16A tall tree.
10:18This is disgusting.
10:19I would hate this, honestly.
10:20If this happened in Derby, I would migrate so fast.
10:23The ideal place...
10:26..to make a dramatic transformation.
10:29Here we go, Jane.
10:30Oh, gosh, Simon.
10:31What are they going to come out of?
10:32I don't know.
10:36Oh, my God.
10:37Oh, shitting hell.
10:38Look, it's coming out the back of me.
10:39Ew!
10:40It's gone fluffy. I'm going to be sick.
10:42Breaking free from the husk of his old body.
10:46Oh, that feels good.
10:48I want to leave the husk of my old body.
10:51When am I going to be released from this husk?
10:54He unfurls new wings.
10:57Oh, look at that.
11:00It's got wings.
11:01Now I can fly.
11:05Oh!
11:06Fucking uglier than it was before.
11:08Oh, I think I preferred it as it was.
11:11But for the cicadas, this isn't a horror story.
11:19It's a romance.
11:21I think this is when they make babies.
11:24Oh, this is going to put me right off text.
11:27Them having a...
11:28Oh, no.
11:31Maybe she's the one.
11:34Oh, here we go, Dave.
11:35How do you know?
11:36I was going to say...
11:37She's the one.
11:38How do you know? Because they've both got beards.
11:40They're both ugly gets, aren't they?
11:42He waits for a special signal from her.
11:45Oh?
11:46What's the special signal?
11:48A snap of her wings.
11:50A snap of her wings?
11:52Oh, this is what you call foreplay, Theresa.
11:55What are you telling me for?
11:56After 17 years of waiting,
12:00a brief encounter is all it takes to fertilise her 500 eggs.
12:04500 eggs!
12:06You'd want more than a brief encounter after 17 years.
12:09Bloody hell.
12:10They actually only get to do it once every 17 years.
12:13So do you.
12:23Oh, it fell off. Is that it?
12:25All right.
12:26Well, bye, then.
12:27See you.
12:28After just a month, it's all over.
12:32So we've had one...one bonk and he's gone.
12:35It was that good, he died.
12:37A few weeks later, the young will drop to the ground
12:40and burrow deep into the earth.
12:45When they emerge in 17 years' time,
12:49who knows what they'll find?
12:52What year will it be in 17 years?
12:55So we're 2025 now.
12:582042.
13:00That were quick maths.
13:02Don't know how I did that.
13:03Global warming or the Russians on the matters by then?
13:06It's a bit pointless, if you ask me.
13:10So how is it, though, Judy?
13:12Did he explain, is it once every 17 years
13:14or is there another batch that are coming ready to come next year
13:17that have been waiting 17 years?
13:18Possibly.
13:19I can't see them all dying on exactly the same day.
13:24It's not Tom Hanks' best work, I'll be honest.
13:27No.
13:34In Wiltshire...
13:36I found the picture you were looking for.
13:38Oh, good.
13:39And it's covered in cobwebs.
13:40We've got 300 pictures, Mary,
13:42and each one needs crevice nozzling.
13:45...Giles and his wife, Mary.
13:49Oh!
13:50Oh, hang on, the paper's coming away.
13:55OK.
13:56Now do the top.
13:59WHIRRING
14:03This is called spring cleaning, Mary.
14:07One down, 301 to go.
14:11On Friday, it was some argy-bargy in the Oval Office
14:14that made headline news on the BBC.
14:17Brace yourself, babes.
14:18You've got to see this news, didn't you hear about it earlier on?
14:21Yeah.
14:22Oh, it's terrible.
14:23In unprecedented scenes in the Oval Office...
14:26What an unprecedented scene when we turn on the news these days, Mary.
14:29I know.
14:30President Trump gave President Zelensky
14:32a public dressing-down this evening...
14:34GASPS
14:36God!
14:37..as the men met to discuss the war in Ukraine.
14:40This is right on the back of Starmer high-fiving everyone,
14:43going, yeah, we did a great job with Trump.
14:45And now look at this.
14:47It was a jibe from a reporter about Mr Zelensky's outfit
14:50that actually set the aggressive tone.
14:52Watch this. Watch this now. Watch.
14:54Why don't you wear a suit?
14:55Why wouldn't you wear a suit?
14:57He's come from a war-torn country.
14:59You're the highest level in this country's office
15:02and you refuse to wear a suit.
15:04Just want to see... Do you own a suit?
15:06Yeah, yeah, problems.
15:07Trump, in the middle, he's revelling in it, isn't he?
15:10He's a plant. He's been put there.
15:12Do you reckon? I think so.
15:14Well, with hindsight, Mary, it might have been better if he had worn a suit.
15:18I will wear a costume after this war will finish, OK?
15:23Oh, yes! Yes!
15:25That is... Tell them!
15:27That is a man right there.
15:28He said, I've got bigger problems than wearing a suit.
15:30This is the moment a disagreement became a full-blown fight.
15:34Oh!
15:35Don't tell us what we're going to feel.
15:37We're trying to solve a problem.
15:38Don't tell us what we're going to feel.
15:40Oh, they're making up now.
15:42I'm not telling you...
15:43Because you're in no position to dictate that.
15:45Remember this.
15:46Oh, the pointing.
15:47The pointing that had aroused you all.
15:49Yeah, that's rude.
15:51You're not in a good position.
15:53You don't have the cards right now.
15:55All he keeps saying to him is,
15:57your predicament, your position.
16:00Yeah, I know I'm in the jam, that's why I'm here.
16:03This is the bugger.
16:05You're... You've got this bully who's humiliating you,
16:08but at the same time, you need them to be on your side.
16:11What do you do?
16:12With us, you start having cards.
16:14He says he's not playing cards.
16:16I had jobs.
16:17I do really respect him for sticking up for himself.
16:20You're speaking your third language. Absolutely.
16:22And you've got a bunch of bullies in the room with you.
16:24You're gambling with World War III.
16:26Ooh!
16:27Gambling with World War III!
16:29What happened?
16:30He didn't go and bust into somebody else's backyard, you know.
16:33Have you said thank you once this entire meeting?
16:36What?!
16:37This is going great.
16:39Zelensky Lee.
16:41Couldn't have gone better for me, actually.
16:43Offer some words of appreciation for the United States of America
16:47and the president who's trying to save your country.
16:50God, this is a proper double team, this is.
16:52Trump is fed up with Zelensky from years ago
16:55cos he tried to get Zelensky to do something for him and he didn't.
16:58They've got beef, they just want to have him.
17:00They don't like him.
17:02You think that if you will speak very loudly about the war...
17:06He's not speaking loudly. He's not speaking loudly.
17:08Oh, that's a red rag to a ball.
17:10I don't think he was speaking loudly.
17:12Well, he was hectoring.
17:14He was speaking assertively.
17:16But I don't remember being...
17:19I can see whose side you're on.
17:21What?
17:22You're obviously on the side of the wrong-uns.
17:24We gave you military equipment and you men are brave
17:27but they had to use our military...
17:29Oh, no, no, we shouldn't be expected to watch this.
17:33If you didn't have our military equipment...
17:35Look, he's pushing him, he's pushing him!
17:37Look, did you see that? Did you see that?
17:39Hats off, I wouldn't be that calm.
17:41I'd be like, well, go fuck yourself.
17:43If you didn't have our military equipment,
17:45this war would have been over in two weeks.
17:48In three days, I heard it from Putin, in three days.
17:51Oh!
17:53That's a dig, innit?
17:55Trump is spitting Putin's lines.
17:58Then you tell us, I don't want a ceasefire,
18:00I don't want a ceasefire.
18:02Oh, my God!
18:03I want to go and I want this...
18:05I mean, he's not even speaking as a leader, is he?
18:08Look, he's trying to...
18:09I don't want this, I don't want that, I don't want this,
18:11I'm not your friend any more, I don't care.
18:13I don't care, you're not coming to my house,
18:15you're not coming to my house any more to play.
18:17No.
18:18No, you are.
18:19And I want all my stuff back, what I've given you.
18:21All my tanks.
18:23All my tanks, all my guns, I want all them back.
18:27You silly git.
18:29All right, I think we've seen enough, what do you think?
18:32We have seen enough, Donald, you're fucking right there.
18:34This is going to be great television, I will say that.
18:38He knows, it's just for the cameras.
18:40Yeah, look.
18:41I feel that was a set-up job, Lee.
18:43Yeah, it was, totally.
18:44That just hasn't come out of the blue, that.
18:47This is the video we'll all be watching when we're living in bunkers.
18:50Yeah.
18:51Eating rat.
18:52This is when it went wrong.
18:56In Leeds...
18:57So, since we went to the wedding the other week,
19:00my phone is just riddled with targeted wedding ads.
19:04Really?
19:06Well, do you know, we were literally talking about this
19:09in the salon this morning, about weddings,
19:11and people saying, oh, they've spent like £30,000-plus on a wedding.
19:14And I was just saying, that is just such a waste of money to me,
19:17and then I'm actually not even that bothered about getting married.
19:20Because it's cost so much.
19:21Because it cost so much money, I think.
19:23I said, look, you could take your family to Disneyland for that,
19:26do you know?
19:27And then somebody went, you could get married in Disneyland?
19:29And they went, yeah, but then you'd be one of those Disney adults,
19:32and do you want to be one of them?
19:35No.
19:37Yeah?
19:38No, I'd be happy with a registry office and a meal after.
19:45On Monday night, a brand-new batch of bride and grooms
19:48were headed for the altar on E4.
19:51Oh, my God!
19:53Maths Australia!
19:55You actually massively got me into this.
19:57I tell you what, I'm chuffed to bits this is back,
19:59because, you know, we've had the ball tickling with this,
20:02you know, we've had the ball tickling with the reunion
20:04that was recently on. Aye.
20:06Now we're going back down under.
20:08Yeah, we're going for the main course.
20:10Exactly.
20:13I like to be kids in bed, showered,
20:16jammers, skincare done, brewing hand,
20:19little bit of summat sweet, maths for nine o'clock.
20:22That is my evening, girls.
20:25My name's Elliot, I'm 35, and I'm from the Gold Coast.
20:28Why is Elliot needing to be on a show like this?
20:31To walk down the aisle and Elliot was at the end of it,
20:33you'd be quite happy.
20:34Yeah, you would complain.
20:36In fact, I'd be fucking buzzing.
20:38I have very, very high standards in relationships.
20:41Oh, it's all particular.
20:43He said he got high standards.
20:45What does that mean? Yeah.
20:46I wouldn't even entertain a relationship with someone
20:49that I saw as low-class.
20:51Oh, here we go.
20:53He's expecting too much.
20:55Are you wife material?
20:56I'm, like, the wifiest wife material that there is.
21:00Oh, she's easy on the eye.
21:02I think I'm wife material, just maybe not yet.
21:05We still don't have no rings, though, do we?
21:07Because I can't cook and I've never used a washing machine.
21:10What makes me happiest is serving my partner.
21:13God, is she a frigging Stepford wife? Get a grip, love.
21:16What's she? Trad wife.
21:18My relationship with my sister is, like, very love-hate.
21:21A love-hate relationship?
21:23Oh, I know the feeling, Lauren, love.
21:25It's going to pop off at the wedding,
21:27but my sister, she goes nuts.
21:29Yeah.
21:30I'm not wearing any undies, so you can't get any bookshops.
21:34She's not wearing undies!
21:36I might get some new boyfriends.
21:39I'm scared of you. Are you?
21:41You should be. The sister's batshit.
21:43What am I, also?
21:45Right, Tamara is giving Messi...
21:47Messi... Inching.
21:49..on 100, absolute, total liability.
21:52I feel like I've actually lost weight.
21:54She's definitely skinnier than you.
21:56SHE GASPS
21:57You wouldn't say that to your sister.
21:59You're not supposed to outshine the bride.
22:01No. You're not.
22:02Is she going to ban her? Just ban her from your wedding?
22:05Do you have anything in your head other than dust?
22:07SHE SCREAMS
22:09I need to write that down cos I am so used to that on you.
22:13Do you have anything else than dust in your brain?
22:20Here she is, Lauren. Here she is.
22:23She looks amazing.
22:25Hi, how are you?
22:27She's got a big smile on her face, that's a good sign.
22:29What's his face like? What's Elliot's face like?
22:31Nice to meet you.
22:33Hi.
22:36Oh. Oh. Oh.
22:38Do you think he likes her? First impression?
22:42She looked breathtaking.
22:44Oh!
22:45He looked breathtaking.
22:47That's a good start.
22:49You look incredible.
22:51Oh, I'm so sorry!
22:53Oh, he's smitten, Elliot, isn't he?
22:55Sounds like it. Smitten.
22:57I hope the sister just keeps her mouth shut.
23:00Having survived being married at first sight without running away...
23:04It is really pretty.
23:05..groom Elliot is now about to be acquainted
23:08with his new sister-in-law, Tamara.
23:11This is the best part of the wedding.
23:13Get Tamara some more champagne.
23:15Ooh!
23:16Where's Tamara? Tell me she's on that top table.
23:19What did you ask for?
23:21My key thing was, like, I want someone that's, like, classy,
23:24intelligent, really feminine.
23:26Like, that was, like, probably my number one thing.
23:28Oh, look at Tamara.
23:30Oh, if looks could kill!
23:32Um...
23:33So I said, like, charismatic.
23:35Is she getting, like, jealous or what?
23:37She's so salty.
23:38Why? She's such a hater!
23:40Yeah, yeah.
23:41Um...
23:42Oh, my Lord, can I... It's true.
23:44Here she comes. Oh, here she comes.
23:46Butting in.
23:48Elliot, this is going to be bad. I know it is.
23:55What?!
23:56What?!
23:57What's she doing?
23:59Nah, she's possessed, isn't it?
24:00Someone invited Joker to the wedding.
24:02She didn't even wait for them to finish.
24:04She just said, like, um, sorry.
24:06Everyone thought Lauren would hate her husband.
24:10Is that, um, fish?
24:15Oh, God, they've got the wrong food.
24:17This ain't going to go down well with Tamara, is it?
24:19Quick, get some food she can eat. Sober her up.
24:23Do you want to share half of mine? No.
24:25Oh.
24:26So he's right at the front now because her meal's wrong.
24:29Whoops.
24:30Do you want some spuds?
24:32No.
24:33I don't want your spuds.
24:35No.
24:36No.
24:37Thank you. Where's your manners?
24:39Right now, you're looking very sad and you're sitting next to me
24:41and it's not looking very good.
24:43Oh, my God!
24:44Daniella, it's so awkward.
24:46Can you please listen to me?
24:47I am listening. Can you shut up?
24:49Oh.
24:50Someone take Tamara outside and give her a glass of water.
24:54I mean, I'm so...
24:56SHE GASPS
24:57No!
24:58Did she just say her sister is a...
25:01Super.
25:02..see you next Tuesday?
25:03Yeah.
25:04Wow.
25:05On her wedding day. Can I just say, on her wedding day...
25:07I'm Lauren, you're Tamara.
25:09No way!
25:10Definitely.
25:11You're Tamara and I'm Lauren.
25:13You're Tamara. 100%.
25:14You are Tamara.
25:16I think if you asked our mates, they'd say you're Tamara.
25:18No way.
25:19100%.
25:20Everyone worries what's going to come out of your mouth next.
25:22No, they do not.
25:24See, look, that's Tamara.
25:25Thing to do, that.
25:26No.
25:27Gaslighting.
25:28No, it's true.
25:29Tamara'd do that.
25:36MUSIC PLAYS
25:38In Blackpool...
25:39Sophie's have just come for you.
25:41Aw!
25:42Look at that, all the bloody blooms.
25:44What's he done?
25:45It'll be because I've not been very well.
25:47Pete and his little sister Sophie.
25:49So, you want to take a leaf out of Ed's book, Pedro?
25:52I've done my spending money on flowers days.
25:55The only time I buy flowers now is if I'm in deep shit.
25:58SHE LAUGHS
26:01And even then, they're from the petrol station.
26:03Exactly.
26:05On Wednesday night, we joined a familiar old face
26:08for a jaunt down under on Moorfall.
26:11God, I've not seen Griff Rees-Jones for ages, years even.
26:16I can't remember, is he one of the people
26:18that I have a resentment against, Mary?
26:20You have a grudge against Griff?
26:22I've got a grudge against most successful people, haven't I?
26:26Especially if they go on train trips across Australia,
26:29which is what I'd like to be doing.
26:31You'd love to be doing this.
26:36One, I wouldn't like the flight.
26:38I know I wouldn't, it's too long.
26:40Yeah, but this is on trains, so this is going to be longer again, innit?
26:44Yeah, but you've still got to get from you to Australia.
26:48You can't do it by train.
26:50You can't, can you?
26:52What, Australia?
26:55Well, he's bound to be away.
26:57No, it's physically impossible, am I going to show you?
27:01Oh, well, he wouldn't be going then.
27:03In the episode, Griff had come to cattle country
27:06for an authentic Aussie experience.
27:09OK, this is a big rodeo practice night here.
27:12Oh, it's a rodeo.
27:14I've always wanted to go on that bull in Benidorm.
27:17I thought, I dare it go.
27:19I'm expecting to be taken through everything
27:22by what I'm told is one of the most proficient,
27:26most experienced performers and announcers here.
27:29Performers and announcers? Double threat.
27:34Hey, Griff!
27:36Shut up!
27:38He's about 12!
27:40Hi, how good to meet you. Great.
27:43He looks like he's got his dad's clothes on.
27:45He's the professional.
27:47Why is it that people use the kids as crash dummies?
27:50Well, you might say a few cowboys getting dusted
27:53and a few getting to the eight-second whistle.
27:55I did not get one bit of that, then.
27:57Just smile and nod.
27:58Eight seconds sure is a piece of piss.
28:00You just doled on.
28:02Tonight is kids' night.
28:04It's kids' night!
28:05Oh, my God! What the hell?
28:07They're riding actual bulls.
28:09That is mad, you could get trampled on it.
28:13Yes! Yes!
28:15Oh, he's got a wild one, I don't need this!
28:18Oh! Oh! Oh!
28:20My God, that kid's getting flung about like he's some piece of meat.
28:23Would you let Hugh do that?
28:25I don't let Hugh go on a bike.
28:27It's a tough country up here.
28:29Well, let go, then!
28:31HE LAUGHS
28:32Let go!
28:33It's not always pretty.
28:35Oh, yay!
28:37When you're little, though, you bounce, don't you?
28:42Oh, yeah!
28:43That's better, better, better.
28:45He's got it.
28:46We're going to ride here tonight, get out of there!
28:49Keep saying, you need to let the kids out more and get them out more.
28:53And get them off these bloody iPad things,
28:56but that'll run beyond an iPad!
28:59But for young Nash, the excitement is just beginning.
29:03I reckon Nash is going to be great.
29:09Hey! He's still on, he's flying!
29:12Look at him!
29:17Oh, he knows what he's doing.
29:19How do you stop it? What?
29:21It doesn't run out of money, does it?
29:23Oh, oh!
29:26He's riding it home in a minute!
29:30Bloody hell, he's brilliant.
29:32That is for a rodeo, isn't it?
29:34That was the longest anybody's stayed on I've ever seen.
29:37That was incredible.
29:38He went right past the bell and then on.
29:43Can you shut it after that? Yeah.
29:46Fuck off, Griff.
29:47Griff, can you go and get us a pint, please?
29:49Cos I can't get to.
29:53I'm absolutely gasping.
29:57In Leeds.
29:58Fixed my nan and my mum's boiler this morning.
30:00Why, what was wrong with it?
30:02Best friends Danielle and Daniella.
30:04It had an error code on it. Did it?
30:06Yeah. Did you have to look at the error code?
30:08I did it because I knew that one by heart. No, you did not.
30:11I know my F23s, my F29s, my F22s.
30:15I can never figure it out. E21.
30:17Oh! Yeah, that's where you call them out, though.
30:20Mm-hm, mm-hm. That's what it says in the book.
30:22Oh!
30:25There you go! Don't chat to me, you know!
30:27I've fixed a few boilers in my time!
30:29On Thursday, our favourite ghost-hunting trio
30:32were seeking out more unwanted guests on Discovery+.
30:36I believe in them, you know. I do, really.
30:38I remember you telling me that one
30:40where you thought there was going up your nightie.
30:42I never said it was going up my nightie.
30:44I said it was on my bed. Up your leg?
30:46On the bed? Rubbing your legs? Going up your nightie?
30:49No, I never said that.
30:51I've never really had a haunting.
30:53Touch wood I'm not speaking that into existence.
30:55I doth not want any ghosts here.
31:01I did a Ouija board with an actual psychic medium,
31:04Rebecca Potter.
31:05How did that go?
31:06Well, it said, Mini, our old dog, came through.
31:09And glass were going round the table like that.
31:12And they were going, Mini, Mini, let somebody else through.
31:16And she were going, no.
31:17And they were going, look, she's running round bored.
31:20And that's when I knew it were a load of bollocks.
31:23The team are on their way to investigate
31:26this 1970s semi-detached house.
31:28You can't have a 1970s haunted house, can you?
31:32I hope not, cos I live in a 1970s semi-detached house.
31:36I have moved house probably seven times
31:40due to paranormal things.
31:42Seven times? That means she's taking them with her.
31:45This is the thing, you know, she's blaming the bricks and mortar
31:48and it's actually her that's the problem.
31:50Exactly. What she wants to do is get a small gin stick off her, I'd say.
31:53When I was 13, I had two friends,
31:56and we thought it would be a good idea one night
31:58to go into a graveyard and use a spirit board.
32:01Of course, that's how it always starts.
32:04So she is. She's stapled.
32:07I have an idea for an experiment
32:09that's going to get you, Claire, doing a form of divination.
32:13A what, a divination? A divination.
32:15He's making these words up, he's boring.
32:17What's a divination? I don't know.
32:19Whenever you're ready, Claire.
32:21Is there somebody here right now?
32:30Oh, my God, it's moving.
32:32Where we are. Yeah, shove it that way. Yeah.
32:36Oh, my Christ, it's like The Exorcist.
32:39With your hands on it, you don't...
32:41There was nothing touching the planchette.
32:44Don't you dare bring science and fact into this, Jane.
32:47OK. Sorry.
32:50Oh, hang on.
32:52Did anyone see that? What? What?
32:54What did we miss?
32:56The rosary just moved. I swear to God.
32:58I swear to God it just moved.
33:00What's moving? Do you see anything? I don't see shit.
33:03No, I didn't find anything. Did anyone else see that? No.
33:06What are you feeling? Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
33:08Did you see that? Oh, my God, the beads are moving.
33:12Oh, I seen her then.
33:14Do you believe now?
33:16I want to check under the table.
33:18I want to see if there's magnets in her leggings.
33:21Do you think it needs to be Claire that finishes this,
33:24that closes the doorway that she opened?
33:27They make such a drama out of this, don't they?
33:30She's got to get rid of him now.
33:32She's got to close the door now behind her.
33:34Yeah, and say ta-ra, innit?
33:37Ta-ra!
33:39It's draining her energy, and if we don't take action,
33:42it could lead to possession.
33:46Jesus! Not possession in the 1970s, Sammy.
33:49You don't want possession.
33:51I do not want to see Claire pretending to be possessed.
33:53We're going to walk through that light.
33:55We're going one, we're going two, we're going three.
34:00If this all fails, he wants to be an auctioneer, doesn't he?
34:05What do you see, Claire?
34:09Stop it with me flapjacks.
34:11It's like a bull stood on his back legs with wings.
34:14A bull stood on his back legs with wings?
34:17A bull? Jesus Christ.
34:20Tell it it cannot have you, Claire.
34:22Go on, Claire, tell it to piss off.
34:24Say it like you mean it, Claire. Come on! You can't have me!
34:28Get out of my life.
34:32Goodbye.
34:35Aw.
34:38It's going away.
34:39Has it gone?
34:41All she had to do was say, can you go?
34:43But it's gone.
34:44This programme always leaves more questions than answers, doesn't it?
34:47Yeah, the big question is, why do we keep watching it?
34:55In Sorry...
34:57Did I show you what my friend Lucy bought me for Christmas?
35:01No. Oh, stop it.
35:03Look at it, Simon. Rose gold.
35:06You're doing podcasting?
35:08Karaoke!
35:09..Simon and his sister Jane.
35:11So I've made up my mind, it must come to an end.
35:15I'm right into this.
35:18Look at me now, will I ever learn?
35:22Will I ever learn? I don't know how! Enough!
35:27On Tuesday, our favourite telecop had gone back to his roots
35:31for a creepy new drama on Prime Video.
35:34Hey, he's got Martin Compton in this, Soph.
35:36He's playing a Scottish bloke called Martin.
35:39Are you set? You got all you need?
35:41Coffee? Peanuts?
35:43Yeah. Rock and roll?
35:46I've been looking forward to this drama.
35:48I bet you have. I wonder why.
35:49I know. Martin Compton.
35:51He's been drooling all over him.
35:53I hope he's not talking Scottish, though,
35:55cos I struggle to understand what it is.
35:57You could be a stalker.
36:00I'll be there, yeah.
36:02We are in deep, honey, we are.
36:05Where are we?
36:08Welcome to Glasgow, kids.
36:10Glasgow? Is that Edinburgh?
36:12Do we have the whole thing?
36:14Not the whole thing, we don't have the basement.
36:16They don't own the basement.
36:18Everything comes up out the basement.
36:20Him coming up out my basement, I'll tell you now.
36:22I'm going to clean the biggest bed.
36:24Their hallway is bigger than my flat.
36:26It's massive, Simon.
36:28Hey, look.
36:30What is it? I don't know.
36:32What, a gift already?
36:33That's like you, that Julie.
36:34Delivery start turning up before you even get in the house.
36:36What is it? Is that a box of biscuits?
36:39Here's to good neighbours, see you soon.
36:41Jan and Nene, basement flat.
36:43Being very neighbourly.
36:44She is.
36:46I'd still be worried.
36:47If it were a family circle, I'd dig right in.
36:49But because it's in a tupperware box, you don't know the preparation situation.
36:52Yeah.
36:53Can we have takeaway? Pizza?
36:55I don't know, maybe. We'll see.
36:57Well, they've just moved into a new house,
36:59if there's ever an excuse for a takeaway.
37:01Can we go outside?
37:02Of course you can.
37:03Come on, Nene.
37:07Who's that?
37:08That's the basement.
37:09That don't look like a woman.
37:11I was just thinking that.
37:12Jan, don't look like a woman creeping into that room.
37:15You guys must be thirsty.
37:17Here, Paul, have a drink.
37:18There's no time for drinks, Mum.
37:21Oh, who's this?
37:22Jan.
37:23Who's that? Is it Jan?
37:24Hi.
37:25Hello.
37:26I'm from downstairs, and I wondered if you'd like some pizza?
37:30Oh!
37:32That's a bit spooky.
37:33The kids have just been saying that they wanted pizza upstairs.
37:36He heard them say pizza, and now he's cooked some fucking pizza.
37:39And is he called Jan? Is that Jan?
37:41What is happening?
37:42This is Faye, I'm Paul, I'm Rebecca, this is Martin.
37:45Martin Compton, you might have seen me on line of duty.
37:49You must be Jan.
37:51Yeah.
37:52I'm suspicious of that zip-up cardigan.
37:55You should be. Gives me bad vibes.
37:57It's a bit hard to put my finger on.
37:59I don't know whether it's nice or it's...
38:02Creepy. ..it's creepy.
38:05Ooh, and I like that jumper.
38:09Oh, of course it is.
38:11The friendly neighbour.
38:13Jan.
38:14What's he bringing now?
38:15Lentil soup.
38:17If you like lentil soup.
38:19I made too much, so...
38:21Soup?!
38:22Right, you're going down in my esteem now.
38:24I love lentil soup, yeah.
38:27No, you don't, don't lie. Nobody likes lentil soup.
38:29I do.
38:30So, thank you.
38:32Can I come in?
38:38Oh, God, he's just watching us.
38:40Oh, God, he's just watching us slurp the soup.
38:42Yeah.
38:43Can I just say, erm...
38:45No, don't say it.
38:46What?
38:47You're beautiful.
38:48That's a lovely colour on you.
38:50It's beautiful.
38:52I knew it.
38:53Oh, that's creepy.
38:54That's creepy.
38:55Cut the small talk, make excuses, get him out of there.
39:00Erm, I was thinking earlier, is this a good top?
39:03And you like it, and I like it too.
39:05Erm, no, stop being nice.
39:08OK, that's a really weird thing to be talking about
39:10with someone that you don't know.
39:12Take a chill pill, Jan.
39:14Why is he so intense?
39:19I think she's going to take some food to him now.
39:21Oh, I hope she's returning the Tupperware,
39:23cos people never return Tupperware.
39:25Oh, I've got a bowl of mum's I need to get back.
39:28Hi.
39:29Hi.
39:30Erm, my version of lentil soup.
39:32I hope you like a vanilla slice.
39:34It's one of my guilty pleasures.
39:35What are you going to do with this vanilla slice?
39:37Sniff it.
39:40Bad, Jesus.
39:42Enjoy.
39:43Bye.
39:44I don't think she should have done that, Lee.
39:46He is smitten, isn't he?
39:48Well, he's either smitten or, erm...
39:55Oh, roses.
39:57And a card.
39:59What does it say, what does it say?
40:01You invited me in.
40:02And when I said you looked lovely, you said you liked it.
40:05Oh!
40:06He's stretching the truth there.
40:08Yeah.
40:09I like watching you.
40:11What?!
40:12Oh, it's a foyer.
40:13And when I licked your vanilla slice...
40:15SHE GASPS
40:16Oh!
40:18To be fair to you, Ann,
40:19the only way you can eat a vanilla slice is by licking it.
40:23Well, he brought me some soup.
40:25And then he's licking your vanilla slice?!
40:27Then he's licking your vanilla slice?!
40:29Yes, I took him a cake as a gesture.
40:31That's the thing that would be pissing me off.
40:33Why aren't we feeding the fucking neighbours?
40:35Yeah!
40:36It would be the fact that he's a creep!
40:39The fact that Paige would have given away a vanilla slice!
40:45Oh! He's got a kick-off.
40:47You leave my wife's vanilla slice alone.
40:50Only one man licks my wife's vanilla slice.
40:53And that's me!
40:54Unacceptable!
40:56Unacceptable and inappropriate!
40:58Unacceptable!
41:04Oh, look at him.
41:06He's not happy.
41:08I don't like the way he ends looking.
41:10Is he angry? Is he scared?
41:13So...
41:15..what did he say?
41:16Fuck all. I didn't get to speak to him.
41:18He apologised.
41:19Did he?
41:20No, he didn't.
41:21No, he never!
41:22Why's he lying?
41:23I mean, he wouldn't come out,
41:24but from the other side of the door, he said sorry.
41:27I never heard him say that.
41:28How did you hear him say sorry?
41:29He was stood there with the hallway like that.
41:32How do you feel?
41:33Really sad.
41:36You know.
41:37No!
41:38Oh, my God, is he listening in to them?
41:40Bloody hell, it's like a mouth-half!
41:42And we came here for a better life.
41:46He's listening.
41:54Since when does a router have a microphone in it?
41:56You've got that router, haven't you?
41:58Get rid of Alexa. I ain't having it.
42:00If people hacked my router,
42:02they'd hear a lot of crying and shouting.
42:04Just crying and shouting?
42:05So your router wouldn't be worth hacking?
42:07No, it'd be very noisy.
42:09Same with mine, to be honest.
42:11You'd hear my dad moaning.
42:13Not in that way.
42:18Inca Philly...
42:19Come on, Inbed, move up.
42:20Yeah, you move up.
42:22Come on.
42:24..Dave and his wife, Shirley...
42:26We need a host.
42:28Oh, I love him.
42:29Come here, babe, what's he...
42:31What's he saying?
42:32Paula!
42:34You move over to the other one, Jess.
42:36What's he saying about my boy?
42:38On Sunday, there was only one thing
42:40dominating the headlines on ITV.
42:43Is it brown?
42:44Is it black?
42:45Is it faded black?
42:46That's definitely not black.
42:48Is it mauve?
42:49What's mauve?
42:50Do you think they're going to lay on extra news bulletins
42:53now there's someone on TV?
42:55Extra news bulletins?
42:57Now there's so much happening.
42:59What used to happen in a month
43:01seems to be happening day by day.
43:03Yeah.
43:04Gathering European leaders in London
43:06to work out what they do next,
43:08Keir Starmer called it a crossroads in history.
43:11This is massive, Jane.
43:12If America and Europe aren't as one,
43:17this screws up the whole world order.
43:19After the soap operatic bust-up
43:21between President Trump and President Zelensky on Friday,
43:24the Prime Minister secured our future
43:26by convening European and international leaders
43:29in Lancaster House in London.
43:31Do you know what?
43:32Fair play to him.
43:33Fair play to him for getting all these people together
43:36and trying to sort something out.
43:38I think this, to me, is solidarity, this.
43:40Yes, for the Europeans.
43:42We're all Europeans.
43:43Yeah.
43:44Yeah.
43:45And then the war leader.
43:46Ah, here he comes.
43:47He's the man of the moment.
43:48Look at little Zelensky.
43:50Isn't he a brave chap?
43:52It started with Starmer pledging personal support to Ukraine
43:55and said all the leaders around the table were with Zelensky.
43:59We actually don't look like a set of idiots for once, do we?
44:02Keir Starmer is at the helm of these negotiations.
44:06He's doing us proud.
44:07This is very smart of Sir Keir Starmer.
44:10He's saying, yes, we're with Trump, we love America,
44:14we're also Europe and we are with Zelensky as well.
44:17He's playing them both and saying, I can bridge you.
44:21A few hours later, he confirmed that he and France's president,
44:24Macron, will be the bridge between Zelensky and Trump.
44:28Were you there?
44:32But now, see, this is like when you and I had Doug living here
44:36and he was the human buffer between us.
44:39Yes.
44:40And then we got on so well because Doug would say,
44:43Giles, Mary wants to know if you could mow the lawn or something
44:49and instead of you saying, of course I can't,
44:53you would say to Doug, yes, that's fine, I'll do it in a minute.
44:57We've agreed that the UK, France and others will work with Ukraine
45:02on a plan to stop the fighting.
45:05Then we'll discuss that plan with the United States.
45:08Basically, what we're going to do is just do
45:10what some of the United States calls today.
45:12We're going to go to them with a plan to stop the fighting
45:15and they're going to say, no.
45:18We're prepared to back this with boots on the ground
45:21and planes in the air.
45:23Boots on the ground? Yeah.
45:25Blimey, that'll be a big step, actually, won't it?
45:27Massive.
45:28This is war talk. This is actual war talk, Daniela.
45:31Is there now a more real prospect of Britain being at war with Russia?
45:38Can you rule that out?
45:39Oh, God, I don't want to be at war with Russia.
45:41I really don't want to be at war with Russia.
45:43I don't think you can rule it out no matter what you do, Robert,
45:46to be honest, cos that Putin is not right in the head.
45:49The one thing our history tells us is that if there is conflict in Europe,
45:54it will wash up on our shores.
45:56Oh, shit. He ain't saying no!
45:59Well, they're hoping that by taking a stance altogether
46:02with this coalition, that it's going to avoid conflict
46:05and that Russia will back down or back off.
46:07You know how on every episode of Power Rangers
46:10they'd always be against one big bad thing? Yeah.
46:13And then at the end of the episode,
46:15all the different Power Rangers would get together
46:17and make that super big Power Ranger robot. Yeah.
46:20That's what's happening. Yeah.
46:27Well, the critics have been loving our new Jamaica-set crime drama,
46:30and you can see for yourself,
46:32because all episodes of Get Millie Back are streaming now.
46:35New tomorrow, Jessica Biel is the housewife driven to murder.
46:38That's Candy, Death in Texas,
46:40based on a true story and starting Saturday night at nine.
46:43Stay with us here on Channel 4 for The Last Leg, up next.