• 2 months ago

Category

😹
Fun
Transcript
00:00If you walk through that door, we're done. If you walk through that door, Alan, if you walk through that door, we're done.
00:06Wow, are you guys being serious?
00:10Babe, what is that smell? It smells so bad.
00:14I don't smell anything.
00:15It's probably your upper lip. I knew you were gonna say that.
00:19Can you pause that for a second?
00:21I can't pause.
00:23I thought you were gonna say...
00:25I thought you were gonna say you couldn't pause the game.
00:30Babe, where do you wanna eat?
00:32It's up to you, babe. I knew you were gonna say that.
00:38Babe, do you want some? I'm making macaroni.
00:40With the chicken strips?
00:44You're adopted.
00:45You're a mistake.
00:46Here, give me that.
00:47Ow! Mom, he hit me!
00:49Get out of my room.
00:50I'm not in your room.
00:53This one has more. Here you go.
00:55Hey Lexi, come here.
00:56Why?
00:57Just come here.
00:58No, you're gonna hit me.
00:59My friends and family do their best impression of me.
01:01Mom, there's never any food in this house.
01:03So Ben, you're gonna be pushing the pool, but don't worry.
01:05There's only like 10 alligators in here.
01:07Lexi? Lexi? Lexi?
01:10What?
01:11Can you be in this video?
01:13A spider!
01:15I can't do that.
01:17Yes, you do. You scream like that.
01:23Wait, oh my god. Is that gum?
01:25Give me a piece.
01:28Best friend, let me have a piece.
01:30Hold on. Is that gum?
01:32Can I have one?
01:34Or give me two so I can save one for my next class?
01:36Can I have one?
01:38I really need a piece.
01:40What is going on?
01:42Wait, Olivia, remember that one time I gave you food?
01:44Can I have one?
01:46Y'all are like vultures. Oh my god.
01:48Best friend, you better give me a piece.
01:50I'm still waiting for mine.
01:52I heard someone say gum.
01:54Can I have one?
01:57I swear, you better give me one.
01:59I didn't even eat mine yet.
02:01Olivia, put that away.
02:03How about that?
02:05And before you do, give me a piece.
02:09Brent, get up. You're going to be late for school.
02:11Can I not go to school today? I'm like super sick.
02:13I don't care. Get up. Get in the car.
02:15Mom, I'm sick.
02:17Mom?
02:21Mom, I'm sick.
02:23What do you want me to do about it?
02:25Mom, I don't feel so good.
02:27My baby, what's wrong?
02:29My stomach kind of hurts.
02:31Okay, you are not going to school today. I'm going to make you some soup, okay?
02:33I'm passing the phone to the person who always shows up late.
02:35True.
02:37I'm passing the phone to the hairiest person I know.
02:41Passing the phone to the shortest person I know.
02:45I'm passing the phone to the brokest person I know,
02:47who says he only eats once a day
02:49because it's a part of his diet,
02:51but in reality, that's all he can afford.
02:54I'm passing the phone to the person who tells this girl
02:56that he's going out of town for work,
02:58but it's really to meet up with girls that he's been messaging on his second phone.
03:00Babe, babe!
03:02It's not true!
03:04I'm passing the phone to the person whose parents left him
03:06when he was only five years old,
03:08and now he spends every holiday alone.
03:10Not even his supposed friends want to hang out with him.
03:12You know why?
03:14Because he owes them all money!
03:16And that's why we kicked you out of the group chat!
03:20I'm hanging up the phone.
03:24It is unacceptable. You don't do that at somebody's house.
03:26Uh, is everything okay?
03:28No, my baby just pooped in the pool.
03:30That's disgusting! How old is he?
03:321,200 weeks. He should know better.
03:34You know, I have my business going,
03:36my husband is always working.
03:38Is there anything I can do?
03:40Yeah, you can mind your own business.
03:44It's missing something.
03:47Now it's banging.
04:09Make that sound effect.
04:17Okay, no matter what you do,
04:19don't tell Devin, okay?
04:21Hey.
04:23Hey.
04:25What's up?
04:27So tell me what?
04:29What are you talking about?
04:31Oh, you're acting like you don't know.
04:33You gotta tell me stuff you do know.
04:35About what? I don't know anything!
04:37I was just watching a movie on my phone.
04:39Oh, okay.
04:41Okay.
04:43Okay.
04:45That's how you watch a movie?
04:47That's how you watch a movie?
04:49Yeah!
04:51I couldn't hear it, so
04:53I had to put the volume.
04:57You're being a little goofster-gaster.
05:01What are you guys talking about?
05:03Who?
05:05Why are you keeping secrets from me?
05:07I wanna know.
05:10What?
05:12What?
05:14What's up?
05:16Yeah!
05:18Yeah!
05:20Okay, I'm gonna tell my friends
05:22that we're doing different TikTok challenges.
05:24So, I'm gonna pass the phone
05:26to someone who is still obsessed with their ex.
05:28I got this shirt from Brent's closet
05:30and these shorts from H&M.
05:36Put a finger down
05:39if you're the most attractive in the group.
05:41Well, I'm not, so...
05:43Oh, my God.
05:45Who's doing that?
05:47Please, just listen up!
05:49Please!
05:51I'm trying to...
06:09I wanted to
06:11apologize
06:13for my outburst
06:15of emotions.
06:17I should not have left you in a class
06:19by yourselves.
06:21That is a safety hazard.
06:23And anything
06:25could have happened
06:27that was unacceptable.
06:29And I truly apologize.
06:31I am just going through
06:33some things personally.
06:35Yeah.
06:37So, if you guys can please just be patient
06:39with me.
06:41That's all I ask.
06:43Yes.
06:45Yes, you can go to the bathroom.
06:47Seeing how my friend reacts
06:49to me slapping my fiancé.
06:51Are you serious?
06:53I'm so done.
06:55Just drop it and be done.
06:57You're annoying.
06:59What are you gonna do about that, Jake?
07:01Ow!
07:03What is wrong with you?
07:06Why the hell would you do that?
07:08Ow!
07:10What?
07:12Is everything okay?
07:14Ow.
07:16Well, did you just hit her?
07:18Yeah.
07:20What did you do
07:22to deserve that?
07:24Oh, my God!
07:26I was in front and I was waiting 10 minutes
07:28because the line was long and you're just gonna cut in front of me?
07:30I did not cut in front of you.
07:32You were not even in the line.
07:34How did you not see me? Are you blind? I even tapped your shoulders.
07:36I did not see you and I didn't cut in front of you.
07:38I was already there before you.
07:40Why are you standing up for?
07:42Because.
07:44Is this a threat?
07:46Because we can all rise, you're not the only one who has feet.
07:48No, because you started raising your voice.
07:50No, I didn't.
07:52What do you want? A WWE match?
07:54And you need to back up because I can still smell your morning breath.
07:56Jessica, please sit down. What are y'all doing?
07:58Ask her that because we were just talking
08:00and she stood up like she was Hulk.
08:03I'm not scared. I'm not scared of you.
08:05I will mop the floor with your ass and throw you on top of the roof.
08:07How about that?
08:09Enough! How about that?
08:11Hey, mom, look at this.
08:13I got on dad's big clothes.
08:15Oh, my goodness.
08:17You look just like your father.
08:19Yeah, I'm basically dad now.
08:21Aww.
08:23Well, we have the electric bill.
08:25I'm gonna need you to pay that.
08:27Wait, what?
08:29Don't what me.
08:32I'm gonna need you to pay the electric bill.
08:34Also, the gas bill is here, too, if you can pick that up.
08:36Hold on, wait.
08:38Speaking of bills,
08:40the medical bills in this house
08:42have just skyrocketed the past year.
08:44Uh.
08:46That's what I'm thinking, okay?
08:48So I'm gonna leave you to it.
08:50We need them done by tomorrow.
08:52I barely even know how to read right now.
08:54I'm not.
08:56I'm passing the phone to someone
08:58who never does the dishes.
09:00I'm passing the phone to someone
09:02who by herself totally funds all of Amazon.
09:04I'm passing the phone to someone
09:06who door-dashes so much
09:08she knows all of the delivery drivers.
09:10I'm passing the phone to someone
09:12who has her own room
09:14but practically lives in mine.
09:16I'm passing the phone to someone
09:18who has so much laundry
09:20that if she actually started doing it,
09:22it would probably take four days.
09:24I'm passing the phone to someone
09:26who says they're gonna eat healthy
09:29Olivia, please put the chair down.
09:31Sorry. And after that-
09:33And class, on page 12, you need-
09:35Uh, like, I didn't even know that.
09:37Like, to be honest, I did not know-
09:39Olivia, for the second time, put the chair down on all fours.
09:41You know what? Let me tell you guys a story about this one student.
09:43Here we go again.
09:45He kept leaning back on his chair and he never listened.
09:47And then one day, he leaned all the way back
09:49with no control and broke 17 bones
09:51and cracked his head open.
09:53What was he made out of? Glass?
09:55His head probably shattered in 100 pieces
09:58and his eye fell out because a pencil landed directly in their eye.
10:02His head was bleeding and the janitors couldn't do anything about it
10:04because the blood was everywhere.
10:06Not her lying.
10:08He got paralyzed from the legs down.
10:10Who asked?
10:12So, Olivia, do you want to turn out to be that student?
10:14Mr. Johnson, we know damn well that didn't happen. What is this, a horror story?
10:20Hey, what's up, my guy?
10:24Yeah, I was actually just about to ask you what you were doing this weekend.
10:28Can we? 100%! Heck yeah!
10:30Dude, that actually sounds so much fun.
10:32I will totally be there for that.
10:36No, Alyssa is not coming.
10:38She'll just stay at the house, probably.
10:44100% I can stay until Sunday.
10:46Alyssa's not going to mind that.
10:48It'll be fine.
10:50We'll make it a whole weekend thing.
10:52Dude, I've never done anything like this.
10:54It sounds super fun.
10:56Okay, okay, I'll see you then.
10:58Okay, bye.
11:00I have plans on Sunday.
11:02There's no one on the phone.
11:04You really trust me.
11:08Yo, let me get some of those.
11:10No, these are mine. Get away.
11:12Mom, she's not sharing.
11:14Oh, my God. Can you guys please stop fighting?
11:16Just share. Share with your sister.
11:18Ugh, fine. Here you go.
11:20No, I don't want you to touch it.
11:22I'll get it myself.
11:26Okay, can I have them back?
11:28No, these are mine now.
11:30Babe, I think you have to take me to the hospital.
11:32Why?
11:34Because when I close my eyes, I can't see.
11:36And it was freaking me out.
11:38It literally started last night.
11:40What?
11:42When I close my eyes, I can't see, babe.
11:44And it freaks me out.
11:46I need to go to the hospital right now.
11:48What?
11:50Wait.
11:52When you close your eyes, you can't see?
11:55Yeah, let's go to the hospital.
11:57There's something deeper.
11:59There's something deeper wrong here.
12:01Babe, the furniture's here.
12:03Should we hire someone to build it?
12:05Oh, no. I can just do it.
12:07Are you sure?
12:09I know what I'm doing.
12:13Are you sure you know what you're doing?
12:15I know what I'm doing.
12:19It just doesn't look like you know what you're doing.
12:21I have a cylinder right now.
12:24It's customer service.
12:26I know what I'm doing.
12:28A brief hold, that's fine.
12:30We could've called someone.
12:32What is going on?
12:34The instruction manual is actually in Spanish.
12:36So I gotta translate it.
12:38I know what I'm doing.
12:40To begin, you have to open the box.
12:42Pretty simple.
12:44We're just gonna build it from the ground up.
12:46Who is this?
12:48We constructed a blueprint for the chair.
12:50I know what I'm doing.
12:52I'm all done.
12:56It's a really nice lamp.
12:58It's supposed to be a chair.
13:00Excuse me, you burnt PB&J.
13:02Why did you use my purple crayon
13:04in class last week without my permission?
13:06Because we were sitting next to each other
13:08in class and I needed it for my race car wheels.
13:10Ding dong.
13:12Well, you could've asked first, you dumb introverted toe knuckle.
13:14And you still haven't asked Jesus
13:16where your edges fell off yet.
13:18So no need to ask you anything.
13:21Now why would I do that knowing
13:23how to hot comb make your scalp smell like
13:25some sizzle fries, scrambled eggs, and burnt
13:27bacon strips? That's nasty.
13:29See, that's why your neck built like the inside of a
13:31windowsill. Stupid.
13:33And the inside of your nostrils built like the tunnel
13:35that the Polar Express went through.
13:37You get on my nerves. Get off of there.
13:39I think the thing not, that's why your breasts smell like
13:41legs wet, dead feet, and cottage cheese. Ugly.
13:43And yours smell like sauerkraut,
13:45onions, and scalp crinkles.
13:47You dumb fart.
13:50Built.
13:52You is built like a turkey
13:54toe nail.
13:56So, how was your weekend, Billy?
13:58I ate a box of crayons.
14:00Oh.
14:02Did you?
14:04Yeah, my poop is purple now.
14:06I'm not gonna lie, guys. I am so tired of playing a
14:08five-year-old.
14:10Hey there, I just ate some rocks from the backyard.
14:12I can't stop.
14:14It haunts.
14:16It haunts my soul.
14:18Hahahaha.
14:32Okay, my daughter's gonna do a science experiment.
14:34Alright, so you see this charger right here?
14:36Due to the laws of velocity,
14:38if I put this to his head
14:40and I rock it back, it won't actually hit his head.
14:42Let's try it right now.
14:45Nature cereal.
15:11Hey there.
15:13Hey there.
15:15Hey.
15:17Yeah, I really like
15:19the food that you're eating.
15:21It tastes really good.
15:23Yeah, it does taste really good.
15:25Yeah.
15:27Can I eat some of it?
15:29No, I'm literally
15:31eating right now.
15:33Oh.
15:35Well, once you're done eating, can I eat some of it?
15:37I...
15:39Okay, I would...
15:42I'm gonna eat the whole thing.
15:44Oh.
15:46Well, once you're done eating the whole thing,
15:48can I have some of it?
15:50There's not gonna be any
15:52left.
15:54Oh, yeah, right, okay.
15:56Well, once there's not anything left...
15:58Hey, Mom.
16:00Guess what?
16:02How many times have we done this?
16:04What, Billy?
16:06Well, I was outside, and I made a pie
16:08out of mud.
16:11It hasn't rained.
16:13We live in the desert.
16:15Yeah.
16:17How did you get mud?
16:19Oh, well, I peed on the dirt.
16:21Oh.
16:23Ew.
16:25Okay, well, where's the pie?
16:27I ate it!
16:29Duh!
16:31You ate the pea
16:33mud pie?
16:35Yeah!
16:37What just
16:39happened?
16:41Sorry, I just threw up in my mouth.
16:43Oh, God.
16:45Okay, question number six.
16:47Ava.
16:49Oh, my God. I just answered number three.
16:51I'm not, no.
16:53No, you should have gone during your lunchtime.
16:55Olivia, number six.
16:57What did you get?
16:59I didn't raise my hand.
17:01It doesn't matter if you raised your hand.
17:03What's the answer to number six?
17:05Olivia!
17:08I don't know.
17:10I don't know is not an answer.
17:12Why are you always picking me?
17:14Can you pick someone else already, Mrs. Johnson?
17:16There's 29 students in this class,
17:18and you're always picking me.
17:20That's because you never pay attention,
17:22and I'm still waiting for an answer.
17:24I hate this class. Why am I in this class?
17:26I don't want to be here.
17:28Why did I get put in this class?
17:30Oh, my God.
17:32Oh, well, you can go to the office
17:34since you don't want to be here.
17:37Can you hold on?
17:39Shit, she's looking at me.
17:41She's not even looking at you.
17:43Hurry up before she catches you.
17:45Right, and exactly.
17:47There are four.
17:49And...
17:51Ava, you don't sit there. Move.
17:53Can I just stay here, please?
17:55It's Friday.
17:57I wouldn't care if it's Monday or Tuesday.
17:59This is not musical chairs. Move.
18:01I promise we won't talk.
18:03Yeah, we won't.
18:05What the fuck?
18:07There's three people who have an F in this class,
18:09and you're one of them.
18:11Oh, she has to shout it out.
18:13Did everyone hear that?
18:15Yeah?
18:17I just don't understand.
18:19Why you guys never listen to me?
18:21Never in my 20 years of teaching.
18:23Okay, I'll move.
18:25Oh, my God.
18:27What is she doing?
18:29Making a movie?
18:31Hey, sis.
18:34What's it?
18:36What's it?
18:38What's it?
18:40What's it?
18:42What's it?
18:44Let's go!
18:46Alright, laughing challenge.
18:48Andrew's gonna go first.
18:50Alright, ready?
18:52Yeah.
18:54One sec.
19:04What is that?
19:22Wait, why was this such a fail?
19:24Was I laughing the whole time?
19:26That's not how you even do it.
19:28It's supposed to be on the left, not right.
19:30Oh, my God.
19:33Are you dumb?
19:35She didn't even say that.
19:37You're getting on my nerves.
19:39What is going on over here?
19:41Ms. Johnson, why do you always put me with her?
19:43I do not like her.
19:45Don't do anything. You're always on your phone.
19:47And you're not even doing this right.
19:49This is why we never win anything.
19:51Okay, enough.
19:53You both need to stop and work on this together.
19:55I'm not working with her, and her breath stinks.
19:57And when you open your mouth, open it that way and not my way.
19:59You are so rude.
20:01You might as well just rip that paper because you did it all wrong.
20:03You know what? You both are getting a zero on this game.
20:05How about that?
20:07See? This is because of you.
20:09See? Because it's because of you.
20:13Excuse me.
20:15Does anybody know what time it is?
20:17By the looks of it, it says it's approximately
20:19demon time.
20:23Right.
20:25Does anybody else actually know the time?
20:27I said
20:30it's
20:32demon time.
20:34Ayo DJ D-Wrek, run the beat.
20:48I saw that if you stare at a mirror
20:50for a long time, you start to hallucinate.
20:54So are you sure you want to do this?
20:56Yeah, it doesn't work, so let's try it.
20:58Twenty minutes in.
21:04Forty-five minutes in.
21:08How are you feeling?
21:10It's not working.
21:12One hour in.
21:14Are you getting bored in here, dude?
21:16Yeah, I'm thirsty as hell, too.
21:18Oh my god.
21:20One hour and a half in.
21:22Holy shit.
21:24You okay?
21:27What do you feel?
21:29I don't know.
21:31I feel pressure everywhere.
21:33Where do you feel pressure, dude?
21:35Behind me.
21:37What the?
21:39Who?
21:43Hey, I'm sorry to bring you down to this,
21:45but we need you to identify the body.
21:47Is this him?
21:49Damn.
21:51What's up, dawg? Y'all couldn't close my niggas' eyes
21:53before y'all picked him up?
21:56So what happened?
21:58Just found him in the back of your pool, dead.
22:00Just gone.
22:02You found him just like this?
22:04Yes, sir.
22:06Before or after lunch?
22:08Before lunch.
22:10He was all alone.
22:12What you doing? Let me breathe, dawg.
22:14I'm broke, dawg.
22:16What's up?
22:18Me too, nigga.
22:20What's up?
22:22What's happening?
22:24So I've been lying to my boyfriend
22:26for a while now,
22:28and I don't really know if this is, like, cheating,
22:30but I'm just gonna tell you anyways.
22:32So every evening I leave my house,
22:34while my boyfriend is working out at the gym,
22:36so he doesn't know I leave,
22:38but I tell him, you know, I'm gonna go make dinner.
22:40In reality, I actually drive downtown,
22:42and I go to a restaurant,
22:44and I pick us up food,
22:46and then I bring it home,
22:48and then I get our glass plates down,
22:50and then I assort the food that I just bought
22:53to make it look like I, like, cooked food or whatever.
22:55When he comes home, I give him the food,
22:57and it looks like I cooked.
22:59So he's convinced I'm just a really good chef.
23:01But in reality, I'm, like, a really bad chef.
23:03The last time I cooked, I burnt cereal.
23:05Um, excuse me, Crawfish Crunch,
23:07why did you not join virtual class today?
23:09Because I felt like your slow self needed it more
23:11than I did, so I made room.
23:13Only a stuck-on stupid other person would say that.
23:15Oh, you better not do me.
23:17I thought I was doing your stupid self a little favor.
23:19Uh, nah, the only favor you was doing
23:22was setting yourself up for setbacks, stupid self.
23:24Okay, I ain't got time for you today.
23:26Your energy is giving off stale broccoli
23:28and hot dog water.
23:30Oh, I think, but think not.
23:32That's your underarm smelling like seaweed
23:34with a side of tilapia.
23:36Oh, my gosh, what the word?
23:38Did you just speak in cursive?
23:40Say that again.
23:42I said tilapia, blubber lips.
23:44Ooh, it's pronounced tilapia.
23:46Ooh, you slow like jet lag.
23:48And you slow like slugs, slug lips.
23:50And you is built, built.
23:52You is built
23:54like a hog mouth.
23:56Ooh, you get on my nerves.
23:58Get off of this.
24:00And your body, yada, yada, yada, built like a bookshelf,
24:02stupid, read something.
24:04Okay, when mom gets in the car,
24:06just say I was at Kendall's house, okay?
24:08I was at Jonathan's party, okay, okay?
24:10Hmm, what's in it for me, then?
24:12I'll give you $10.
24:14Make it $20, and I'll do it.
24:16Okay, fine. Here, $20. Don't tell mom.
24:19Hmm.
24:23Hi, mom.
24:27Was your sister at Jonathan's house last night?
24:29Oh, um, yeah. Sissy was at
24:31Kendall's house last night.
24:33Where did you get that $20 from?
24:35Um, Sissy definitely did not give this to me, and just tell you that
24:37she was at Kendall's, but she wasn't.
24:39Okay, honey, I need you to go
24:41fetch the milk. Go get the milk.
24:43But what if I lose you?
24:45I'll be right here in these aisles, okay?
24:48Um, okay, yeah. Okay, milk.
24:50Okay, okay.
24:52I can't find the milk. Where's the milk?
24:54Milk?
24:56Milk? Milk?
24:58I can't find the milk.
25:06This isn't milk. What if mommy leaves me?
25:08You know what? Forget the milk.
25:10I need my mommy. Mommy? Mommy? Mommy?
25:12Oh my god, she's gone.
25:14Oh my god. Mom? Where's mommy?
25:16I need mommy.
25:18Mommy, where were you? I thought I lost you.
25:20Oh my god, calm down.
25:22Calm down.
25:24Oh my god, I just went to a different aisle. It's not a big deal.
25:26Now go get the milk. Go fetch it.
25:28Oh my god, not this again. Okay, I'll be right back.

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