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00:00This is both of our first time. Are you sure you know what to do? Yeah, just trust me, okay?
00:05Xbox ah Tina I can see your bra strap what oh no
00:09We don't want people to find out that I am a woman and women have breasts if anybody is trying to put you down for
00:15What you like it doesn't matter as long as Sonic is one of those things that you like
00:19That's
00:26What are you doing? Well? I'm cold, but a home never gets cold. Haha. Yeah, shut the fuck up Rebecca
00:31I'm still a human. I'm Tina. I'm a really big fan of your work my what you're like your son cuz you made him I
00:38brought keen
00:42Ignorant slut I hope Donald Trump deport you
00:45This is a challenge where you put the shot glass on your brain actually and your brain like enlarges
00:50And you get a little less stupid, so okay. Just sound it out. Oh
00:54It says you learn to fucking read dumbass yo, Justin. Hey, Jack. What kind of socks are those breath?
01:00They're Puma in what's today a lead day sir. I'll eat a your car 9-1-1. Is it an emergency
01:06No, what is it?
01:09It's the short. Oh, please rub it in. I don't even need a boyfriend, so
01:15I'm single and happy and I burped so I mean there's not much to me
01:19Um I like fast walks on the beach fast marriages fast death
01:24How long cuz I'm up right now whose things I saw drink. Oh, and what's your name Tabitha?
01:28Hmm that don't really add up does it I smoke so many cigarettes while I was pregnant my son is a cat
01:34And he doesn't love me
01:38They're hard to walk in so you more than the school
01:41But they're not you look like Bambi had arthritis the weekend went by so fast did someone say fast no Jeremy no yes
01:48Someone did I heard it. I heard happiness starts with an H. Then why does mine start with you?
01:53I think you have dyslexia. Oh, you're right, man. You're right. You guys are so ungrateful these days
01:58You know when I was a kid. I didn't have porn
02:00I had to watch my parents because there was no internet either a potato flew around my ravioli on a Tuesday
02:06Leave me laugh like a bigot feel old yet
02:09Bitch, I don't care if I write you a whole fucking novel you're gonna reply to it essay format, okay?
02:14Dean hook sentence girl. I want for Christmas is money better GPA a little less body fat some happiness. Maybe some friends
02:28Mama I'm home with candy. Hey, sweetheart now check your candy for Blake. Oh my gosh, mama. You're right
02:34Oh
02:41Yes, Lord
02:50Is this my label
03:01Super excited for
03:022016 I have my expectations high and I'm ready for disappointment can't breathe mama. I'm dying
03:13Hey loser say kid backwards dick
03:18That's gay
03:20Public service announcement if you don't like me just tell me don't look this way don't look that way
03:24Look me in the face and tell me you don't like he's a good kid. I'll kill you fuck you
03:30Ma they're crazy when they're teens, huh? Oh
03:33Hey, I didn't I really didn't see you there. So
03:36It's really kind of lonely over here, you know, and I was like what he's your dad. He's my boyfriend, too
03:42I don't get it. Okay, these nuts
03:44That was funny today at school. My teacher said I'm sick of reading y'all's papers. I said, well, don't give us work in honey
03:59Didn't see you there welcome to toys with Brittany today's laundry day
04:02So get your clothes put it in the machine and set your timer done. Are there any questions? Yeah, you caught me
04:07I'm drunk. Okay. No, you raised her. I don't know how you knew but yeah, I'm high too. I smoke weed and I
04:16Charlie Charlie was number four
04:19Get away from me. I know you're gonna breathe on me with your gay
04:22Carbon dioxide and make me gay question. Yeah
04:25So, uh, why do you tweet that you only mess with bad girls when the last girl you had looked a little bit like your uncle
04:31Hey, it's me. You probably thought I was dead and you're right. I am on the inside
04:37Why don't you just blow-dry your hair make straightening so much easier?
04:44Fuck you mom burn in hell Billy Billy. I'll give you I'll give you back your face
04:50I don't see what's wrong with being single on Valentine's Day. You don't be single every other day. So I'm out of that
04:56They stole my dream journal
04:59They stole my dream journal
05:01They stole my dream. I mean Sydney tbh
05:03He cute or whatever
05:04But he was like your puns will let down your hair and I was like or not because you don't know how much I paid
05:08For this and I was like, oh Kurt, that's why you got a little dick, but your mom said it was big
05:13But my mom said it was big
05:15Andrew call me Jeff. Okay. What is the answer to the question on the board 21 wrong? Do you know what you did wrong?
05:21Ah, I don't know if you're ready for all of this
05:24Hit me again Harold control it Sharon, you know, I can't it has a mind of its own
05:35Welcome back to me screaming
05:37Let's go get some ice cream to mommy when your family licks the leftover glue on your envelope
05:45Hi, my name is Karen, I'm 48 years old
05:47I've been divorced four times my life consists of Christ cats yard work and clean humor
05:51The doctor said you need potassium just eat yogurt. Then yogurt is just fruit sperm
05:56And I'm not gay. I'm so sorry. I'm not gay. I'm not gay. I'm not gay
06:00I'm not gay. I'm not gay. I'm not gay. I'm not gay. I'm not gay
06:05And I'm not gay, I'm so hungry
06:08No, you ugly. You look like a burnt zucchini. You stop that ugly. Oh, you're dog is so cute. Can I pet it? Sure
06:18Hi, welcome to Verizon how may I help you? Mm-hmm. Yes, sir, please. Hope I figure out the issue. Thank you dad
06:23Can you check your email? I'm hungry as is that asparagus mama told you no penis shaped food
06:28No, I gotta say no homo after everybody right fields, obviously like the worst player of the team
06:33Don't you say but kale, but psych dinger, dude, how's the flow?
06:37Why does this line look like a butthole these children traveling through a butthole?
06:41Why am I inside a butthole Jack you can fit on this door Rose? You're too large. Oh, how fun fun
06:48Okay, you was a side chick anyways
06:54If you're one of those people that while choosing a profile picture you hit take picture instead of choose picture I respect you honest
07:03I
07:05Apply to problem areas, okay
07:12Fucking piece of shit
07:15Sorry, I'm late. Why are you coming from? Oh, I don't know. Maybe the grocery store with my math book pencil and my book bag
07:24Daddy how did you meet mommy it all started with the fall back into slide into the DMS and I didn't curve him
07:33There's really oh my gosh, your lips looked really chat. Oh my gosh
07:37You have any chapstick for sure, man. This kind works really good
07:40Next time you see a picture of a model
07:42Don't be angry because you're not very look like them be proud cuz they'll never be as ugly as you
07:46Wait, hi on Jesus not drugs for 20 blaze it more like Luke 420 praise my blaze when you can praise
07:53I'm too poor to pay for college too dumb and lazy to get a scholarship. I'm too scared to sell drugs for a living
07:58I'm basically done with my life new year new me
08:02No, you still irrelevant irrelevant irrelevant not important mom for the last time I don't do drugs
08:08I make them if you're not gonna help me deliver it or make them
08:12Wow, I just turned on the radio and they played dark horse timber then counting stars and I am now on my way to
08:17burn down the radio station I
08:25Will rebuke you the Bible says do not kill
08:29But thou shall not steal one's man, we are those cross-draggings, yeah
08:37So, sorry, why are you failing mama English is hard?
08:40No, it's cuz you want that phone along periodically time. You're right mama. You speak English great
08:44She was like, I want to show you my heart, but I can't cuz it's in me
08:47I was like, okay, send me titty pigs that's close as fuck. You know, like right there mama. I'm hungry
08:53Hi hungry. I'm mama. Hi mama. I'm still hungry
08:59Go lay down we need to go to the hospital
09:03My name is Jeff. No
09:06It is not
09:08Stop, honey
09:11My mom said I can't jump out of school to join back
09:15What do you mean? It's not an emergency girl. What's wrong?
09:18I'll get you some crack. I'm dying. Ah, and a peppermint too. Why are you so needy?
09:23My god, I hope you're not driving with that fucked up vision
09:27How many fingers am I holding up? Hey guys, what are you wearing? I'm a tank top scandalous shoulder
09:33Oh my gosh, you're a tank. I'm basically naked. You know, life is sad when you have a pimple
09:39Bigger and brighter than your future. Yes, you pretty
09:43But the eyebrows bigger than that one and her feet are huge and her ear is so small her hands her nostril is I smoked
09:49One marriage of water and now I can only pee out of my right ear. Do not do drugs Romeo
09:55Yes, my love. It's fine purpose marriage. Oh, no, Juliet. You know, you bang bang bang
10:02Bro, look at this girl cry. I bet she's on a period my grandpa died. Oh, yeah
10:07Just wait till you get to the real world Tina. Oh
10:10I get it. So this is like the fake world not real like we in a cartoon
10:14Um, forget about J's on your feet
10:16The only J should have is the one in your heart and that J should be for Jesus. Amen Tina, honey
10:21You have a dentist appointment tomorrow. What?
10:23Oh
10:24My teeth aren't ready. Where's your scarred wolf? Hmm. Did you have a daughter? Yes
10:30Was she a girl?
10:33What's up, T-dog?
10:35You want some turkey tonight or no? I'll be in the kitchen
10:39Doc, I I just I don't know what life is anymore. Well, obviously ball is life, right?
10:45What you are so rude
10:47Why what is your problem? If I don't why what does this even mean?
10:52I
10:53Love you wrong number. I'm standing right here
10:56Wrong address, but leave a message at the toe. Do you better not be on that phone?
11:00Mama, I'm not who you texting Jake from State Farm. Give me a phone. I'm gonna slap you and Jake
11:05Okay, go watch this. You didn't make it cuz it's really windy. Plus I got hit by a car yesterday
11:10So my arm is technically broken. Here's a visual. This is your lane. And this is my lane
11:15Stay in your lane and don't swerve into mine. Okay, stay in your lane
11:19Baby broke up with me. Why she said my dick was weird John. Yo, nigga's perfect. I love you, Jimmy
11:24No, why are kids my age having children? I'm still a children
11:28You should be thinking of boy bands and stuff not chill
11:31I smoked one weed and then I had to have my right arm replaced with my right leg. Don't do drugs
11:37No, like I left one of my J's at the party last night and some dude brought it to me
11:41But he was cute or whatever. So it was okay, but I I smoke weed because it's healthier than marijuana
11:46That's why marijuana is illegal and weed isn't get your facts straight. You give me the two-turn
11:51I give me the Tina you can be the king and I give me the Queen
11:53Oh, you can be the who I can be the nae nae. This could be a spot you play blurry. No, I'm
11:59What is this jam mom shut up what dance is that he is so hot
12:09The truth is I was gonna abort you and then you decided to keep me but you know what you think this is
12:14I was just broke as fuck abortions cause money PE teacher telling me to finish my sprints while he's over there finishing the world supply of
12:20Twinkies, okay skirt. Next time your parents tell you to chores be like, sorry
12:24I only follow God's commands. They might slap you but at least God know you real
12:29Shit game last night, bro. I only saw half though. I was at the gym, you know, I thought Oh strictly for buckets
12:34Kobe, do you take him to be your wedded husband? I
12:38do
12:39Do do honey. You are asking to get your honey walked
12:44Really? No, I don't remember asking you to do that. You must be lost Sophia knock knock
12:49I don't want to be a part of your stupid vine
12:52You just had to say who's there like he a hard dinger to the East baseman babes gonna throw a home run
12:58He's so cute. I love I love you. I hate this boy. Wake up, honey. It's time for school. I'm not going
13:03Are you sick sick of your bullshit?
13:05Okay. Well, I'll make chicken soup. I saw a five-year-old with a phone today. Who would you need to talk to ring?
13:11On my way Mickey Mouse's clubhouse, you know, someone offers you drugs say yes, don't be rude like they're offering you that that cost money
13:18Don't be ungrateful
13:1965% of PE teachers are overweight telling me to jog you better hold my hand and jog with me cuz we gonna lose this
13:25way together
13:26You know, I'm not gay is potassium. It's good. No, no, no
13:33Hey Tina, how was your break? Oh
13:35You need to not do that again, so hold off the piece of ice and let it melt now my sock is wet
13:41I'm a fighter bitch. Come over to me. I asked you to clean your room. I'm a I did why is it a mess?
13:57Becky you look so salty right now. Oh my gosh, your puppy. So I see your eyebrow flow is on point
14:02I like boys or not. Yeah, but every book about my life here adoption teen drug abuse the homeless Wow
14:09They really get I'm feeling sexy and free. There's no hair on me. You look like you go
14:16Jesus didn't go to school. Why do I have to?
14:19Hitler went to school. Look how he ended up. This is enough information. Hey, you're cute. You wanna you wanna go out?
14:26Yeah
14:28Get out my face ugly, I'm sorry
14:30I don't think you can get the ugly out of your face like it's stuck there
14:34You've gotten so big since you were nine months old. Do you remember me? I was only nine months old
14:38That's like a gigabyte of memory. No, I just found out my ancestor was a king. So like I'm royalty Wow Congrats, girl
14:44I never knew you was related to King Kong
14:47Found you
14:49Here I come
14:51Timeout timeout
14:52Yes, we live in America and you have freedom here
14:56The freedom to fuck off leave me alone. I did one American flag say to the other nothing. I just waved
15:05Bro, I had a dream we fuck bro. It's just a dream gay. I wouldn't fuck you
15:09You wouldn't I mean unless you want to yeah, you know that feeling when you
15:13finish all your homework
15:16Cuz I don't
15:22Go to your room I didn't do nothing go
15:27What'd you say? I said, I love you. Someone's gonna be over like the blink of an eye
15:33Why aren't you blinking I don't want someone to be over the fuck Tina where is my man just give him back
15:38What's the password stop playing? No, you're wrong today. I was giving my first marijuana
15:45It won't like now but I'm sure it's dank as hell I brought you in this world I can take you out
15:49Yes, but God brought me to you. Therefore. I'm a child of God and mama
15:54What that mouth will do a lot of things oh, you know, I eat um inhale oxygen. Oh, yeah, I know what that you mean. Hey
16:13What seems to be the problem sir, something's just wrong down there, let me show you whoa, bro
16:18No homo. Hey, it's for us. That's what you gotta get B is for bitch
16:22That's who you gotta hit see and important, but D is for the dick hit it for me one time
16:26I ain't gonna do it. You trying to date or not. Sure. But first, let me take a selfie
16:34No one cares
16:37Finally summer's here good to be hanging out gonna lock the door turn off lights and I probably won't go out
16:49Abla Espanola
16:55Does anybody have any questions
16:58Any anybody? Oh my god, both of my hands are up. Do you not see me? Wow?
17:02You read the books when they first came out. Wow, you're so cool
17:05No one else should be able to see the movie, but you you're right
17:07How are some kids so fucking rude to their parents if I was that rude?
17:10My parents would throw tortillas so fast at me. It would chop my head off. I am so lonely
17:14I needed to
17:16You know, not you. Oh, oh my god. Why is there a giraffe in my house a giraffe?
17:21You have to go back to Africa
17:24Hi, miss. I'm Tina. Can you take your seat? Oh my gosh. You know, I'm it's homework school
17:30Subjects supposed to go in there
17:32Yeah, would that even what Oh God golly life alert life alert. What is your emergency?
17:39Oh
17:41My god, you're wearing the same pants as you did yesterday, but your face still ugly like it was yesterday
17:46laughing in front of your crush
17:49laughing in front of your friends
17:56Oh my gosh, you know, are you really 12? Yeah on a scale of 1 to 10
18:02Goodbye America. Hello United States
18:06Everybody say sauce keep it going eggs bacon grits. Shut up. Okay
18:14No, babe, come over is y'all fridge full no