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00:00Hello everybody, welcome back to the channel, my name's Kevin, I'm a geek, you are watching
00:18KevinGeek and I am back for another episode of Man Down.
00:24This one is series one, it is episode four, it is entitled Guru.
00:30So maybe it's one about being at peace with yourself, which is quite apt, I've got myself
00:35a new mug, and yeah, I think this might link quite nicely to this one.
00:43But obviously we've got this episode and then two more after that, and then we'll have of
00:49course a couple of Christmas specials in December, so that's going to be something exciting.
00:54So let's check out this latest episode.
00:56Right, if we start, Karen, I know I'm late.
01:01What's going on?
01:02Why are you all sitting like this?
01:03You've got visitors, sir.
01:06Mr Davis, Mr and Mrs Elliston are thinking of transferring their daughter to the school
01:12and she loves drama, so we thought we'd pop in.
01:15Oh.
01:16What?
01:17Welcome.
01:18Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.
01:19So, what's going on?
01:20Welcome.
01:21Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.
01:23So.
01:30Good morning, everyone.
01:32Good morning.
01:34Are you wearing slippers?
01:38Yes.
01:39Yes, I am.
01:40No.
01:41Why are you wearing slippers?
01:42It doesn't matter.
01:43Is it someone to do the space mission, sir?
01:44No.
01:45Slippers would make it difficult to get a sufficient purchase on the space rock.
01:49Shut up!
01:53It's got nothing to do with space mission, everyone.
01:56It's a little incident with my neighbour's cat and my shoes.
01:59Did it poo in them?
02:00It was just a wee, but it's an old cat, so it properly stinks.
02:06So where were we with the lesson?
02:08Dentist reckoned he could kick an alien's nutsack off, sir.
02:11Don't put things like that in here.
02:13Oh, we do. Often.
02:15Yes, and I've said you can't kick anything's nutsack off and that's the end of it.
02:19You can, sir. My uncle kicked a pig's off.
02:22Did he?
02:23Yeah, he tried to bite him.
02:25Yeah, well, they don't like being cornered, do they, guys?
02:27Pigs do not like being cornered.
02:30Oh, now, focus.
02:34What's happening with the lesson?
02:36You said we'd meet the alien lizard king this lesson.
02:39Did you forget?
02:41No.
02:46Sir.
02:58Fuck it.
02:59Language. Is children present?
03:09The lizard king.
03:11Hello.
03:15Wow.
03:18Jesus.
03:40I've never seen you eat, Brian. So weird.
03:43Shakira, could I have a little pepper?
03:45Fuck off.
03:47First 10K run of the season tomorrow, so I need the protein.
03:51Shakira's ripped you off, mate. That is egg.
03:54Dominic says...
03:56Here we go. Pray silence for what Dominic says.
03:58Dominic says food is key to focus, so I need it.
04:02Who's Dominic?
04:04Egg is protein.
04:06Right. And a pen is a house, is it?
04:08Dominic says I can go for my PB tomorrow.
04:10Hello, everyone. My name's Brian.
04:12I used to listen to my friends, but now I'm too busy jog-dogging with Dominic.
04:16Honestly, mate, you'd finger a swan if he asked you to.
04:19Sorry. I just happen to find him inspirational.
04:21Three side-of-quizzes on the bounce you've missed.
04:23You know I can't win with Jo. She thinks Appa is a person.
04:26Well, I can't go either. I'm moving house.
04:28Since when?
04:29Mr. Kane will kick me out for not paying rent. No biggie.
04:32I've already got another place sorted.
04:34Well, if I've lost you two, I truly have nothing left in the world to lose.
04:41There's a mouthful left in that, Shakira.
04:44What?
04:47Dan, you're being absurd. You're not losing me to Dominic.
04:52Tim, I'm giving you a lie-in tomorrow.
04:56Let's meet at 5.35.
04:59That's actually very good.
05:01That is very good.
05:03That is very funny.
05:07Right. Fine.
05:09I can't go to side-of-quiz either.
05:11I'll get an early night and I'll come to your running club with you tomorrow morning.
05:14No, you're not.
05:16I don't think running club is for you, Dan.
05:19Shorts? What do you want with shorts?
05:22I'm making a sports-themed quilt.
05:24Ooh, lovely.
05:26Obviously not.
05:28I'm joining Brian's running club.
05:31Don't be silly.
05:32Fuck off, I am.
05:35You can't go running, you silly boy.
05:38I've got a big fat tummy and two big legs.
05:40Oh, right. Well, you're ripped, aren't you, Jessica Ennis?
05:43I thought a baby elephant had broken in last week when you wore that sleeveless top.
05:47You have got some shorts, Daniel, but they're from when you were at school.
05:51You can't go running in tight shorts.
05:53It gives you a rash. You know it does.
05:55Listen, when I want advice about pacing myself during the buffing of worthless Chinatown,
06:00I'll come to you. Until then, get my shorts.
06:02What's the fuzz?
06:03Daniel's going running.
06:09Stop laughing.
06:13What time are you getting up?
06:155am.
06:30You guys are so organised.
06:33Wakey, wakey, Daniel. Rise and shine.
06:36Running time.
06:41Poor...
06:44James!
06:52What the fuck are you doing?
06:54You said you wanted to be woken up early.
06:56What time is it?
06:582.30am.
07:00What time is it?
07:022.30am.
07:03I've only been asleep for an hour.
07:05Why are you waking me up now?
07:07Do you want me to stretch?
07:11At five!
07:19Oh, dear.
07:22Oh, God.
07:25I need slippers.
07:27You're dreadful. And why are you wearing slippers?
07:30Better sort yourself out before Dominic gets here. You're on the tight ship.
07:33I'm shagged already, mate.
07:35I barely slept last night.
07:37Shit. He's here.
07:39Behave.
07:43Team!
07:45Hi, Dominic.
07:47Hi, Dominic.
07:48Hope you lot are ready for a beefing today.
07:50Beef!
07:52Beef!
07:54Plate up.
07:56It's a crisp morning.
07:58Puts me in mind of Sol 88.
08:00All right. Here's how I read it.
08:02We head up Hammer Hill,
08:04then get a rage on through the woods.
08:06And I do mean rage.
08:08I can't have any half measures.
08:10Watch. Hot tea.
08:19What a waste.
08:21Hot tea!
08:23Beef! Beef!
08:24That's the way we like it.
08:26What the fuck was that about?
08:28Remember, you are in control.
08:30It all starts with the mind.
08:32Goodness. Yes. Commitment.
08:34Gosh! Beef! Beef!
08:36What's so special about him?
08:38All he's done so far is pour tea on the floor.
08:40Big deal. Come to the staff room, mate.
08:42Shakey O'Donnell's covered in the stuff.
08:44Please.
08:46I just don't see what all the fuss is about.
08:48He just seems...
08:50Oh, my God.
08:52Whoa.
08:54That's the biggest arse I've ever seen.
08:56What was it, sport, mate?
08:58It wasn't fucking hurdles, was it?
09:00It's not that big.
09:02The Kardashians would pay for something like that.
09:04This is precisely why I didn't want you coming to running club.
09:06This is my sanctuary.
09:08It's huge.
09:10We can make money like this.
09:12All we need is a caravan.
09:14I swear, if you mention his arse,
09:16I will never speak to you again. Do you understand?
09:18Good one, men.
09:20New member alert.
09:22Friend of yours, Ben? It's Brian.
09:24Hi, Brian. Hello.
09:26No, I'm Brian. This is Dan.
09:28Dan, Ben, Brian. Who gives a fuck?
09:30Great to have another pain addict on board.
09:32Glad to see you made a start on the cranberry.
09:34In Seoul, we drank so much of this,
09:36we pissed crimson.
09:38That's not a good thing.
09:40He just flicked the end of my penis.
09:42Never miss. Come on, guys, lunge it!
09:44That arse is so...
09:46Funny, Brian.
09:48Looking forward to the burn today, Dominic?
09:50Always.
09:52Where did you get your jogging bottoms, Dom?
09:54I have to order them online. It's hard to find the right fit.
09:56Really?
09:58Dominic, just to let you know,
10:00I've got this old hamstring injury. I think it's playing up again.
10:02What?
10:04I said I've got a hamstring injury. I think it's...
10:12No.
10:14You haven't.
10:16Okay.
10:18Good.
10:26See you on the road, yeah?
10:28And just like that, the hamstring is cured, isn't it?
10:30It's mental here.
10:32I thought we were just going jogging, mate.
10:34Already I've discovered this redneck turn.
10:36I've seen you hypnotized by a human baboon.
10:38I love running club.
10:40I'm going to do everything that big arse man says.
10:42Look, it's not that big, okay?
10:44Stop ruining running club.
10:46It's pretty big.
10:48It's pretty big, Brian.
10:50Brian!
10:52Brian!
10:54Brian!
10:58Christ, how much of that cranberry juice have you drunk?
11:00It's really good for you.
11:02You heard Dom.
11:04Isn't it?
11:06You're supposed to drink it all day.
11:08Now shut up. I'm trying to monitor my heart rate.
11:10If I drink enough of it, I might get a big magic arse.
11:12Big magic arse, you idiot.
11:14I saw what he did, Brian.
11:16He cured your leg with his arse.
11:18He's like a big bum Jesus.
11:20Okay, he has a method.
11:22I don't know what it is.
11:24I haven't been invited for the one-to-one yet.
11:26What's the one-to-one?
11:28Dominic...
11:30Dominic's secret is so powerful,
11:32he can only tell one man at a time.
11:34Sounds incredible.
11:38I totally understand why you're in love with him.
11:40Sounds like bullshit.
11:42You are. I am.
11:44I don't have time for this. I'm going for my PB.
11:46And Julia's expecting me back to do the big shop.
11:48Brian?
11:50Brian?
11:54Oh, my God.
11:58All right, boys.
12:00Care for a run?
12:02Oh, fuck.
12:04I wish I knew you were coming round.
12:06It's not quite ready yet. It's still a bit of a pig's eye.
12:08Is your new house a tent by the road?
12:10Yes. Wicked.
12:12No, not wicked.
12:14It is weird, mate.
12:16Says the cranberry-guzzling fuckwit.
12:18Hey, listen, I didn't have a house.
12:20Now I have a house.
12:22It's a tent, you mad bitch.
12:24We should ask Dom what to do about this.
12:26Dom wouldn't know what to do about this.
12:28No, we shouldn't. Dom must never see this.
12:30I think we should. There we go.
12:32Hi, Dom. Taking five.
12:34Just checking my pulse rate.
12:36I live here.
12:38Ah, a gypo. Good luck to you.
12:40Live and let live.
12:42I don't really know her.
12:44I've had five cartons of cranberry juice, Dom.
12:46Why?
12:48So I can piss crimson like they did in Soul88.
12:50Well, all right, then.
12:52He got the tip again.
12:54Don't aim for where the dick is.
12:56Aim for where the dick is gonna be.
12:58What?
13:00Dom, I think I've saved five seconds off my PB.
13:02You can't beat the crimson piss, Dan.
13:04Dom, are the hamstrings
13:06holding up, thanks?
13:08Glad to hear it, Ben.
13:10It's Brian.
13:18He seems really nice.
13:20He does.
13:22Joe, you can't live in a fucking tent.
13:24How are you gonna eat?
13:26How are you gonna eat?
13:28I'll forage.
13:30This is insane.
13:32I've ruined Running Club, and you?
13:34Dominic now thinks I hang out with the big one from Bananarama.
13:36Brian?
13:38Why are you so stressed?
13:40And how have I ruined Running Club?
13:42I have totally embraced that big-butt genius's
13:44way of life.
13:46Will you stop going on about his arse?
13:48Someone's got himself into a tiz.
13:50Yes.
13:52Here, I've popped a cranberry.
13:54You idiot.
13:56Just stay away from the fence.
13:58Stay away from Dom. He's mine.
14:00Oh, God!
14:02He's juiced me!
14:04Brian! Why?
14:10Hey, Dan.
14:12What happened?
14:14Get juiced?
14:16Felt like you were getting somewhere.
14:18I messed up, Dom. I always do.
14:22We'll see about that.
14:24Get in.
14:26We're going to my place.
14:28That doesn't sound creepy
14:30at all, does it?
14:48What would you try to get
14:50if you didn't like it?
14:52That's much better.
14:56Good on.
14:58Hello.
15:02Please don't be nervous.
15:04I'm not a homosexual.
15:06Righto.
15:08I used to be like you.
15:10Tall.
15:12A directionless loser.
15:14A fat dropout.
15:16A pointy-dicked, saggy-jowled tostick.
15:18All right, mate.
15:20Let me guess.
15:24A woman, right?
15:26A woman you thought was there forever
15:28just upped and left you.
15:30Yeah?
15:32Out of the blue. Gone.
15:34Just like that.
15:38And you don't know why?
15:40Yes.
15:42God, you are magic.
15:44I'm not magic, my pot-bellied friend.
15:46I've just harnessed something.
15:49Something that could change your life.
15:51I can help you.
15:53I can give you what you need.
15:55But first...
15:58I have to know
16:00that you want it enough.
16:02I don't know what it is that I need.
16:04You know what it is.
16:06Do you?
16:10I honestly don't know what it is.
16:13Ultimate control.
16:16You think I don't know about my ass?
16:18Hmm?
16:20You think I don't know what people say?
16:22You think I haven't heard the calls?
16:24Silver-backed butt,
16:26bubble-bum,
16:28big icing-sugar-dusted peach?
16:30The cock-and-balled
16:32Nicki Minaj?
16:42It is big.
16:44Of course I know.
16:46None of these ornaments are more than a week old.
16:49Every shit costs me three hundred pounds.
16:54And you know why?
16:56Because I have control, Dan.
17:00It's not about looking at my behind.
17:03It's about looking within.
17:09Teach me.
17:12Teach me, you massive-arse guru.
17:20Yeah, maybe learn to control
17:22what your arse knocks over.
17:38That's not foraging.
17:40That's kneeling.
17:44First of all,
17:46we center ourselves with the trigger.
17:49Look at me, Dan.
17:51When I pull the trigger finger,
17:53I have taught myself
17:55that the wild horses of my mind are tamed.
17:58Do you believe it?
17:59Yes!
18:00Then express it!
18:02Kill me with your arse!
18:04I feel the rush of control
18:06coursing through my veins, Daniel.
18:08I don't understand, Dom.
18:10Do you want to see the power of control?
18:11Yes!
18:12Then tell me your PIN number
18:13and pull your shorts down!
18:15What?
18:16Do it!
18:181-9-6-8
18:20Faith!
18:22Faith!
18:26What?
18:36I've been arrested.
18:37Clearly, Joe.
18:39Foraging is mental.
18:40Joe, they told me what you did.
18:42Stealing a frozen chicken from a shop
18:44can never be classified as a forage.
18:46It's a modern forage.
18:47It's not a modern forage, Joe.
18:48You stole.
18:49Don't wind me up.
18:51Just let me do the talking.
18:54Oh, no, this guy again.
18:56Well, well.
18:58Oh, God.
19:00You.
19:01Yes, it is.
19:02It's amazing the level of responsibility
19:04we're given, isn't it?
19:05That's it.
19:06Can I remind you,
19:07it was my friend who insulted you.
19:08I don't know what you're talking about.
19:10Now, you.
19:11Chicken theft.
19:12Very serious.
19:13I was foraging.
19:14I said leave it to me.
19:15Shut up.
19:16Look, mate.
19:17She's a nutter.
19:18Let her go.
19:19Brian!
19:20I'm not a nutter.
19:21You are a nutter.
19:22I was angry.
19:23Why are you so angry?
19:24Fame as quickly as I could.
19:25What's happened?
19:26Forage nightmare, Dan.
19:27Oh.
19:28Hello, officer.
19:29Yeah, yeah, yeah.
19:30I might have known you'd be involved
19:31in this little debacle.
19:32Now, let's process this chicken theft.
19:34Theft?
19:35Joe stole a frozen chicken from the supermarket.
19:40Okay.
19:42I'll handle this.
19:43No, Dan.
19:44You're going to make it worse.
19:55I don't think we need to pursue this anymore,
19:57do we, officer?
19:58I beg your pardon?
19:59I think you'll find a crime has been committed.
20:01Oh.
20:02Hey.
20:03Come on.
20:06Come on.
20:19What's your favourite memory?
20:21Oh.
20:22When they gave me the big special hat with a badge.
20:25Yeah.
20:27Like a proper grown-up policeman.
20:30A big boy.
20:32Yeah, a big boy.
20:36We don't need to keep this silly girl, officer.
20:41Let her go.
20:45This is weirdly very homoerotic.
20:47Okay.
20:49You can get your things.
20:50But don't be involved in anything so silly again, okay?
20:56Take your trousers down.
20:58Tell me your pin number.
21:02Ugh.
21:056079.
21:07Into the south.
21:10Yeah.
21:15Oh, my God.
21:17You saw Dominic?
21:18Yeah.
21:19He gave you the one-to-one?
21:20Yes.
21:21He was right.
21:22I'm going to be fine.
21:23You got the one-to-one?
21:25I can't fucking believe it.
21:27Brian, calm down.
21:28Oh, fuck this and fuck you!
21:31Whoa!
21:34Weird.
21:36Brian's losing it!
21:39Are you still coming back to mine for the housewarming?
21:45Still got a potato.
21:47I'd love to, Cheryl.
21:50I'm going to get my life back on track.
21:54Yeah.
22:01Are you all right?
22:02I'm much more than all right.
22:05What?
22:06Naomi, we're going to be okay.
22:09Dan...
22:10Sorry, I'm...
22:11I mean, I'm cured.
22:12Dan...
22:13I mean, it's going to take me a long time to harness the power of the control,
22:16but I think I...
22:17I think I'm different.
22:19Dan...
22:20Sorry, I'm talking.
22:21I'll stop.
22:22Because I can stop whenever I like.
22:23And then I can start.
22:24And then I can stop again.
22:25Stop!
22:26I'm seeing someone.
22:27Yep.
22:29What?
22:30I've been...
22:33I'm seeing someone.
22:59Well...
23:01I...
23:03have shat myself.
23:06Obviously.
23:08I have an awful lot of cranberry.
23:12I'm very tired.
23:19Oh, my word.
23:22For the first time that Dominic had done that whole finger-pulling thing,
23:26I thought, is that what he's doing?
23:29Oh, that was a build of epic proportions.
23:38Hello, darling.
23:42You're in my bed again.
23:46The man is at his most vulnerable in his bed, Daniel.
23:50This is where you need a friend.
23:53Is...
23:54Is that just weird?
23:56You're upset.
23:58What happened?
23:59I explosively shat cranberry in front of my ex.
24:02Oh, sweetheart.
24:04OK.
24:05Get a good night's sleep.
24:07It'll all seem better in the morning.
24:11Spoons?
24:13Yep.
24:17Fine, fine.
24:18Fine.
24:22Oh.
24:24Oh.
24:26Oh.
24:28Is that it?
24:33I thought we said I'd like to get a few minutes left of this.
24:38That thing is lit.
24:42Oh.
24:44Oh.
24:46Oh.
24:48Oh.
24:50Oh.
24:53Oh.
24:56Well, OK.
25:01Yeah, I'm quite surprised there.
25:03I thought there was more to that episode.
25:06It just seemed to abruptly end.
25:11That reminds me of how I felt...
25:16To this date, the only Mission Impossible movie I watched
25:21was Mission Impossible 3.
25:25I remember watching that movie
25:27and feeling very similar to the end.
25:30I was like, it's OK.
25:33And then, oh, oh, oh, now we're getting good.
25:36Now we're getting good.
25:37And then, you're like, is that it?
25:41So, yeah.
25:46I've got random hair.
25:49Yeah, that...
25:53I don't know what to say, but that was a weird episode.
25:57That was just bonkers.
26:01Absolutely bonkers.
26:03I want to see who that Dominic was, because...
26:08He seemed familiar.
26:12I'm wondering if he was in...
26:19Doctor Who.
26:20Because he looked similar to a guy who was in...
26:26The Waters of Mars episode.
26:29Let me have a quick look.
26:382000...
26:42It doesn't look like it, no.
26:45He's done...
26:48A fair few things.
26:49Oh, he's in a couple of episodes as Dominic.
26:51Oh, OK, so he's going to be coming back.
26:53OK, fair enough.
26:57Yeah.
26:59A lot of video game stuff, actually.
27:01A lot of video game voice credits.
27:03A lot of TV stuff.
27:05A few movies.
27:07But, no.
27:08Ramone...
27:09Tick...
27:10Tick-a-ram?
27:11Tick-a-ram?
27:13Yeah, that was just weird as an episode.
27:17Really, really, really weird.
27:21Yeah, I don't know what much more I can say on that one.
27:24It was just weird.
27:27From start to finish, pretty much.
27:29Not especially great on the laughter front this time.
27:34I appreciate what he was doing.
27:36But I think the way that the episode was trying to present itself...
27:42It made sense that it wasn't a true out-and-out, laugh-out-loud kind of episode,
27:50compared to what we've had in the other episodes.
27:54But we've still got another couple of episodes to go.
28:00So, of course, we've got the next episode, which is Dad's Past.
28:06And then the last episode of the series, which will be in November, is Space Mission.
28:11And then in December, of course, there'll be two Christmas specials.
28:17So, two Christmas specials.
28:19One was the 2013 one, then the 2014 one.
28:23So, yeah.
28:25We will have to see how that goes.
28:29That's going to do it for today's reaction.
28:31Thank you so very much for watching.
28:33And, yeah.
28:35Join with me next time for the next episode of Man Down.
28:40And, of course, all the rest of the content.
28:41Don't forget to subscribe, turn on notifications, check out the Patreon, drop your comments below.
28:45But until next time, my name is Kevin.
28:47I am a geek.
28:49And you've been watching Kevin the Geek.
28:51Goodbye.