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00:00Hello everybody, welcome back to the channel. My name's Kevin, I'm a geek, you are watching
00:18Kevin's Geek and we're back for more of the shenanigans of Mr Greg Davies in Man Down.
00:25I watched this one, what was it, May I think it might have been that we watched this one.
00:30And it was a lot of fun, I remember. We had Roisin Conaty as Joe, you had Mike Wozniak,
00:39the man with the biggest and best moustache since Tom Selleck in the character of Brian.
00:48So yeah, I'm intrigued to see what this episode has in store for us. Make sure you subscribe
00:55if you're new, don't forget to drop me a comment down below. But for now, let's check out episode
00:58two of Man Down.
01:08Hello.
01:09Dan, hello, again.
01:11Sorry to interrupt.
01:12Shh, my sister's on the line.
01:14Sorry, just working through the old list as you know.
01:17Dan, I have asked you not to keep coming round.
01:20If I may. When we split up, you cited several reasons, one of which was we didn't have much fun anymore.
01:27Well, we didn't in the end, did we?
01:30What about the helicopter penis dance?
01:32Excuse me, the what?
01:33The helicopter penis dance. I did it one night when we came back from the pub and you said
01:36it was, I think I'm quoting here, hilarious.
01:40Things like that can't sustain a relationship, Dan.
01:44Was it funny?
01:45Have you been reading that self-help book again?
01:47Was the helicopter penis dance funny and as a result, did we have fun?
01:52Well, on that isolated occasion, there was an element of fun.
01:59Thank you. I will address other issues as and when. Slip, slide, goodbye.
02:06Sorry, one more thing. Please try and remember all the compliments I've given you when I took that
02:11box of fudge over to your mum because she had that bad eye thing.
02:19It's so awkward.
02:26Look at that moustache.
02:42Man down.
02:47Slip, slide, whenever.
03:02Ooh.
03:11Why are you so angry?
03:14I think you are.
03:27Language!
03:33I thought he was about to jump.
03:41What?
03:56Heh.
04:06Heh heh heh heh heh.
04:12Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
04:26Heh.
04:41Dan.
04:50What?
04:53Watching what?
04:57Heh.
05:03I will, I promise.
05:07Nice arse.
05:12Oops.
05:17What?
05:21Nothing.
05:22What did you say, Dan?
05:31Oh.
05:32That was embarrassing.
05:33Yep.
05:35Hey, joke on four eyes.
05:37Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
05:39I don't know whether she liked that or not.
05:42Ah.
05:43Hello, Shakira.
05:44I'm fascinated.
05:45What's in the special?
05:46Egg!
05:47Shakira?
05:48Just egg?
05:49Yeah.
05:50Can that be a special?
05:52Just the words egg?
05:54Fuck it, Bob, if you're going to muck about.
05:56Just a cup of tea, please.
05:58Shakira.
05:59What is your light?
06:01Egg circus?
06:03Yes, please.
06:05Egg circus.
06:06Egg circus.
06:08Yes, please.
06:11Do you want to sing for Tash?
06:12Very much so.
06:15Brussels, here I come.
06:16Ooh.
06:18Well, have a great time, Brian.
06:19Have a great time, Brian.
06:20Enjoy the tour you booked of the EU headquarters.
06:23Hey, when did I take us to Lazy Quest that time for Naomi's birthday?
06:27Why?
06:28I'm making a list of all the good times.
06:30Dan, you can't solve a relationship problem by listing the past.
06:33Why not?
06:34I don't know where to start.
06:35I'm not the one to solve this, OK?
06:36You need to talk to a woman.
06:37Word up.
06:38Whoa!
06:39Ah.
06:41I'm shagged.
06:42This thong is going in the outside bin when I get home.
06:46What is this nonsense?
06:47Sweaty salsa.
06:49Training to get my instructor's diploma.
06:51Who's that ratified by?
06:52The University of Scambridge.
06:55Oof.
06:56Anyway, it's wicked fun.
06:57You should come, Dan, now you're single.
06:59Loads of women, no blokes.
07:01It's only Raoul, the teacher.
07:02Oof.
07:03I think he might be gay.
07:04Number one, I'm not single.
07:05Number two, I've met Raoul.
07:07Of course he's fucking gay.
07:08Number three, salsa's for middle-aged losers.
07:11You're 14, live with your parents.
07:12And you've got a tiny little head.
07:14Looks like David Seaman's, all shrunken and tired.
07:17Dan, please come.
07:18Sign up for one class,
07:19and then I'll get a free massive plastic flower for my hair.
07:22No.
07:23I think Dan has more basic needs to address, Joe.
07:25Yes, like, what am I going to cook Naomi
07:28for our get-back-together meal tomorrow?
07:30She hasn't even agreed to come yet.
07:31This meal is all in Dan's head.
07:33Bollocks.
07:34I've done a deal with Big Dave Bowers for the meat.
07:36It's going to be awesome, mate.
07:37That, coupled with my program of nostalgia.
07:40Christ.
07:41Hasn't it occurred to you just to try and change?
07:43Change what?
07:44You know, little things.
07:45You sell.
07:46Get your car seat fixed.
07:48All right, I'll get it welded up at Mad Nobby's tomorrow.
07:50There you go.
07:51Okay, why is it your instinct
07:52to have your car fixed by a man called Mad Nobby?
07:55Mad Nobby's awesome.
07:56Thank you.
07:57Doesn't even talk with their dad.
07:58Which is 15 miles away.
07:59Go to a local garage.
08:00No, Nobby's the cheapest.
08:02Besides, I've got a plan.
08:03You follow me to Nobby's tomorrow.
08:05We drop the car off.
08:06We go back into town.
08:07I pick up some meat.
08:08You drive me back to Nobby's.
08:09I drive my car back home.
08:11I cook us a meal.
08:12I put on some soft music.
08:13Naomi comes round.
08:14Mmm, she likes the mince.
08:15Next thing she knows, she's married to me.
08:17We try and have children.
08:18We can't.
08:19Or my sperm are dead.
08:20But it doesn't matter.
08:21Too late.
08:22She's trapped.
08:23Dan's.
08:24Four o'clock tomorrow,
08:25I'm going to be on the Eurostar with my wife.
08:26I'm not missing out on a mini-break to go on a meat run.
08:30Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da.
08:36Wow.
08:37Hurry up, I need to play.
08:40Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
08:41What the hell?
08:47Oh!
08:49Daniel!
08:50He's not a bear today.
08:51Don't start.
08:52I've been cleaning out the garage.
08:53Well done.
08:54I'll nominate you for a Pride of Britain award.
08:56I'm just doing my bit.
08:58Your mum and Mrs Wigmore
09:00are doing a deep clean of the house,
09:02so I tackled the garage.
09:04And guess what I found?
09:09Oh, no.
09:10Remember this? It's wonderful.
09:12Come and have a quick knockabout.
09:14No.
09:15Because unlike you,
09:16I don't have fond memories of the old days,
09:18and I have no desire to have a swing ball
09:20smashed into my nuts on purpose.
09:22Ha!
09:23Not on purpose.
09:24Always on purpose.
09:26Always on purpose.
09:27Always on purpose.
09:29Always on purpose.
09:30Goodbye.
09:31Daniel?
09:33Please?
09:38Look.
09:40What are you up to?
09:41God, you're so suspicious.
09:46Straight into the nuts, then.
09:57Waiting for it.
09:59Oh.
10:02Oh!
10:03Oh, now we're getting serious.
10:07Just like the old days.
10:10Here we go.
10:15Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
10:17Waow, waow, waow.
10:18Waow, waow, waow.
10:26Waow, waow, waow.
10:28I told you,
10:29I'm not going to play if you're going to be stupid.
10:31Daniel, your service.
10:34Dad, I can't find Mimples.
10:37Oh, Daniel,
10:38that's not the swing ball.
10:40Goodbye.
10:41Mr. Davis,
10:42have you seen Mimples?
10:44Oh.
10:45Oh, wait.
10:49Ah!
10:51He killed Mimples!
10:53No, he frightened me.
10:55Daniel,
10:56I was trying Mr. Mimples for you to catch.
10:58Not to smash you to a wall and kill.
11:02What's going on?
11:03Dad, he killed Mimples!
11:06Oh, no.
11:07Mr. Stevens.
11:09You sick fuck.
11:10Oh!
11:11That's it, Dad.
11:12Kill him.
11:13Kill him like he killed Mr. Mimples.
11:15Come on, Daryl!
11:17Please!
11:18Please!
11:19No, I didn't mean to!
11:21I didn't mean to!
11:26I'm sorry.
11:28I can't do it.
11:30Hang on.
11:31What's going on?
11:32I'm sorry, Daryl.
11:33It was your dad's idea.
11:35Oh!
11:36She's a sad little girl.
11:38He's letting himself.
11:41Oh!
11:42Daniel,
11:43Mimples was already dead.
11:46Oh, is that true?
11:48After death,
11:49I forgot to feed him.
11:52You're all sick!
11:54You're all sick!
11:55So it's actual rattlers or mice or whatever.
11:57What's all this noise about?
12:00Mrs. Wigmore.
12:04What have you done?
12:06Oh!
12:07Oh!
12:08Oh!
12:09I...
12:10Oh!
12:11Daniel!
12:12You monster!
12:13Phone an ambulance!
12:18Poor Dad.
12:19The paramedics think she'll be fine, but...
12:21Good.
12:22...they're keeping her in for a couple of days.
12:24What were you thinking, putting a space hopper on the path?
12:27No, that was Dad's fault.
12:29Was it, you mental old crone?
12:32That's two episodes I've seen this week
12:34where the lead characters literally wet themselves.
12:37Today, and then in Alan Partridge the other day.
12:41Dad never touched the space hopper.
12:43And why are you wearing those awful jockeying bottoms again?
12:47Mainly because my trousers are covered in my piss.
12:50Are they?
12:51Well, you'd better go and get them so I can wash them.
12:54I don't want you visiting Mrs. Wigmore tomorrow in mucky trousers.
12:58I'm not going to visit Mrs. Wigmore.
13:00She's your cleaner.
13:02She'll want to see your little walnut face.
13:04I can't. I'm busy.
13:05I've got a relationship to save.
13:07What are you doing?
13:08Nibbling some shortbread, stroking a plant?
13:14Oh.
13:16All right.
13:17I'll go and visit the cleaner in hospital.
13:19Good boy.
13:20And make sure you take a present, too.
13:23Christ.
13:25Most people would spend the morning of a holiday packing.
13:28Brian, we're on a wicked little road trip. It's exciting.
13:40What the hell is that?
13:41It's Nobby's version of a receipt.
13:43Jesus, I thought Mad Nobby was just an affectionate nickname.
13:46Should you have left your car with him? He's obviously genuinely unstable.
13:49Nobby's awesome. He knows Tinker from Lovejoy.
13:52Have you put any thought into what you're buying Mrs. Wigmore?
13:55Have I put any thought into it?
13:57What should I take her, a cooked lobster?
13:59My uncle was killed by a lobster.
14:01Oh, yeah? Was he allergic?
14:02No.
14:07Oh, there is something I need to do before I speak to Leslie.
14:16It's a permanent marker.
14:17I've tried to get it off, but I think you could see.
14:20I've just made it red.
14:21I don't want to know why you have a tick on your head.
14:24I just want you to stop coming round and telling me odd things.
14:28What do you want me to say?
14:30That is up to you.
14:32Okay.
14:34I'm pleased you're having your car seat mended and that you're visiting your mum's cleaner in hospital.
14:39Thank you.
14:40Would you like to come for a meal tonight?
14:41No.
14:42We've split up.
14:43I know. We're on a break.
14:44We've split up.
14:46I will come round later to pick up my stuff.
14:48Lovely.
14:49I will have a home-cooked meal waiting for you.
14:51No. I'm coming to get my things.
14:53I'll be round at five.
14:54A bit early for a meal.
14:55Dan!
14:56Look, I can see you are trying.
14:58Perfect time for a meal.
14:59I'm addressing everything you said.
15:01All you ever do is go down the cafe with your silly friends, you said.
15:04Well, not anymore.
15:05I'm really getting out there.
15:06Visiting a cleaner and mending a car seat are not really getting out there.
15:10That's not all I'm doing.
15:11What else are you doing, then?
15:12Activities.
15:13Fascinating activities.
15:15I'll tell you about them at the meal tonight.
15:17Sounds like class.
15:18Come to collect my possessions, because we've split up.
15:21Yes.
15:22And while you're there, we'll have a lovely meal,
15:23and I'll tell you about all the interesting things I'm doing in my spare time.
15:26Slip, slide.
15:34Yeah, that didn't go well.
15:38It's so adorable, though.
15:45Oh.
15:47What do you think?
15:48Oh, my God.
15:49Wrong size.
15:50You look wicked.
15:51Yeah?
15:52Yeah.
15:53They feel a bit tight.
15:54They're supposed to be.
15:55Don't worry about that.
15:56Just stick a Pepsi Max bottle down there.
15:59Shit, he's going back.
16:01Come on, let's go.
16:02Shall I tell Raoul we're coming back next week for the salsa class?
16:04I'm not actually going to the class, am I, you twat?
16:07I just want this to fool Naomi into thinking I'm doing stuff.
16:10Grab my clothes.
16:11I've got to go next door to get Mrs. Wigmore a present.
16:13Hey!
16:15Oh, my God, he's actually wearing it in public.
16:17Dan.
16:18Dan, get in the bloody car.
16:20Nearly there.
16:21Wigmore, butchers, mad dobbies.
16:23We're on schedule, Brian.
16:24I'll have a meal ready by five, easy.
16:26I've got tickets for the Eurostar at four.
16:29So stop keeping me talking, then.
16:31TikTok.
16:32Well, I was down at London St. Bancroft's this week for work,
16:37and you do actually have to be there early.
16:39It's like going to an airport,
16:41because you've got to go through security and everything.
16:43So he'd have to be there, like, one o'clock in the afternoon
16:47if he's got a train at four.
16:49So, oh, he's really pushing it.
16:59Mrs. Wigmore.
17:00Daniel.
17:02How lovely of you to visit.
17:04There was no need.
17:05I'll be home tomorrow.
17:06Well, I brought you a present.
17:08Sorry about the space hopper.
17:10Right, get well.
17:11We're going to be off.
17:13Vegetables?
17:14No one brings vegetables as a present, son.
17:17It's weird.
17:18What's that tick on your head?
17:19It's a welding receipt.
17:21And everyone likes a box of vegetables.
17:24Right.
17:25It's the thought that counts.
17:26Exactly.
17:27You look like prostitutes.
17:28One gay and one straight.
17:30Oh, thanks.
17:32Just salsa.
17:33My grandson bought me an audiobook.
17:35That's a proper present.
17:36There you go.
17:37She likes her vegetables.
17:38Let's see some of your salsa.
17:40Oh, we'd love to.
17:41But I'm afraid we've got things to do.
17:43We're in a bit of a rush.
17:44So, enjoy your present.
17:47Get well, everyone.
17:48Shower's the move.
17:49We haven't got time to do a fucking salsa dance, guys.
17:51What's all this fuss?
17:53A young Daniel's bought me some vegetables
17:54and they're trying to bully them into doing a salsa dance for us.
17:57Oh, that would be lovely.
17:59Is anyone listening?
18:00It's not happening.
18:01Oh, are you in too much of a hurry
18:03to do a little dance for our poorly friends?
18:05Yes.
18:06Yes, I've got to go.
18:07Where?
18:08What's so urgent?
18:11I've got to cook some mints later.
18:13I see.
18:15How's the pain today, Joan?
18:17Awful.
18:19I'm surprised.
18:20We've had to remove the best part of your bowel.
18:24Oh, guilt trip.
18:26I wish you'd have eaten some fucking vegetables.
18:31I haven't got any music.
18:33Oh, ye of little faith.
18:36Hey!
18:43You still doing the dance, sir?
18:45The salsa?
18:52Oh, God.
18:55This ain't salsa.
19:01And this ain't salsa.
19:02This ain't salsa.
19:04And this 100% ain't going to be going on YouTube, is it?
19:07Not with this music.
19:19He's going to walk in.
19:20He's going to go, what the fuck is going on?
19:31That's not the fucking salsa.
19:33Sir!
19:42Where the hell have you been?
19:44In the company of some very selfish old people.
19:46Look at the bloody time.
19:47Sorry, we'll go straight to Nobby's now.
19:49Thank you.
19:50After we pop into Big Dave Bowers to get some mints.
19:52Jesus.
20:03Right.
20:04Goodbye.
20:06Want me to check it's ready?
20:08Doesn't matter if it's ready or not.
20:09I'm going to the Eurostar.
20:11Come on, mate, ten minutes.
20:19It's not ready, is it?
20:20Ready to do anything for him.
20:21He's going through a really hard time at the moment, Brian.
20:24When have you ever known him not to be going through a hard time?
20:27Once he gets Naomi back.
20:28He's not getting her back, is he?
20:30Look at what he's planning on cooking her.
20:32Mints is nice.
20:34Not on its own.
20:37Make yourself comfortable while I go and make you a massive plate
20:40of unaccompanied cooked mints.
20:42Stop it, you're making me hungry.
20:44Nightmare, I haven't got any money.
20:46Oh, for God's sake.
20:48You've seen these salsa trays, Brian.
20:50Barely got room for a cock and balls there, don't I?
20:52I've only got traveller's chicks, so...
20:54Well, give me one of those. Come on, tick-tock.
20:56Dan, I know this guy's called Mad Nobby,
20:58but he's hardly going to accept a traveller's check
21:00for a minor welding job.
21:02Well, at least let me try.
21:04How much is it?
21:06£12.
21:07£12?!
21:09Christ, how does he make a living?
21:11I told you, he's cheap.
21:12Well, they're in euros.
21:13Please, Brian, Nobby has already wanged up.
21:16Right.
21:17We'll have to give him a 15 euro traveller's check.
21:22You can tell him that he's making a tiny little profit there.
21:28Brian, you're quite cross now, aren't you?
21:30No.
21:31A little bit.
21:32You look cross.
21:33I'm not cross, Jo.
21:35You've got that bane when your forehead...
21:37The tash is quivering.
21:43He won't take a traveller's check.
21:45Ask Mad Nobby if he'd mind dreadfully you taking the car on trust.
21:52You could pop back tomorrow with your £12.
21:55Hmph.
21:57I'll give that a go.
22:01Brian!
22:02Don't talk!
22:09This is awkward.
22:13It went a bit weird, but he says I can have the car
22:15and he'll take the money a different way.
22:17Right.
22:18Jo, would you mind getting out of the car, please?
22:26What's the different way?
22:30Would you mind taking your two bags of mints?
22:39Bye, Brian. Enjoy Brussels.
22:41Get me one of those massive Toblerones!
22:43Do you think Brian's cross?
22:46A little bit.
22:57Oh.
22:59Well.
23:01Nobby appears to have deducted his costs.
23:06Oh, dear.
23:16Sorry I'm late.
23:18I've had a few issues.
23:20Nice outfit.
23:23Oh, that's looking very, very dark.
23:25How much mints do you want?
23:27I think I can really get into Salsy, you know.
23:29We should go sometime.
23:31Big Dave Bowers is giving me far too much minty.
23:33I could feed the whole town.
23:35Damn.
23:47I don't even like mints.
23:50Right.
23:54See you.
23:56Look after yourself.
24:00So, so awkward.
24:07Wait!
24:11Remember this?
24:14Woo!
24:15Helicopter!
24:18Woo!
24:19Helicopter!
24:26Oh.
24:28That is so awkward.
24:39Oof.
24:40Oof.
24:47Oh, the mint is burning.
24:54Actually, maybe the heat is on fire with that amount of smoke.
25:00Oh, poor dad.
25:10Oh, yeah, the kitchen's on fire.
25:12Look at all that smoke.
25:17Oh, is that it?
25:18Oh.
25:20That was, that was good.
25:23That was really, really good.
25:25That was another great episode.
25:31This show, it kind of reminds me a little bit of the British Empire
25:37in the fact that it's just so chaotic.
25:42I like chaos at times when it comes with comedy.
25:46But I also like chaos when it comes with awkwardness.
25:50I mean, you get some shows where it's just so awkward that it's just uncomfortable
25:55and you just don't want to watch.
25:57This is awkward and uncomfortable, but you really want to know what's coming next.
26:02So I really like this one.
26:05If you want to see more of this, well, at the moment I'm actually doing a poll
26:10to choose the next show which is going to replace the British Empire
26:14when that comes to an end in only a few weeks' time.
26:17So if you check out the video description, up until that point that the show ends,
26:24I'm going to put that poll, it's on a Google Drive document,
26:29I'm going to put it in all of the various videos that I do over the coming couple of weeks
26:35and then you can check it out and put down your choice of what show you would like to see
26:40replaced the British Empire on a weekly basis.
26:42If you want this one, you can put it down as an option
26:45and I will basically take everyone's views on board when it comes to choosing that next show.
26:52But that's going to do it for this episode.
26:54I hope you enjoyed it and don't forget to join me very soon.
26:57Don't forget to subscribe if you're new.
26:59Don't forget to drop your comments in the videos as well.
27:02But for now, my name's Kieran, I am a geek and you've been watching Kieran the Geek.
27:08Goodbye.