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00:00 *Musique de Star Wars*
00:22 "Honey, I'm home!"
00:24 *Musique de Star Wars*
00:45 *Musique de Star Wars*
01:07 *Musique de Star Wars*
01:24 "Hmmm..."
01:25 "Move it!"
01:25 *Claquement de doigts*
01:26 *Musique de Star Wars*
01:26 "Earl?"
01:27 "No, sorry."
01:27 *Clement se règle*
01:28 *Musique de Star Wars*
01:29 "Oh, great elder!"
01:30 *Musique de Star Wars*
01:31 "By what name do you call this child?"
01:33 *Musique de Star Wars*
01:34 "Give me a good one!"
01:35 *Musique de Star Wars*
01:59 *Musique de Star Wars*
02:11 *Musique de Star Wars*
02:11 "Oh, je sais pas."
02:12 "Jeez, Earl, what is that?"
02:13 "One of those new, trendy names?"
02:15 *Musique de Star Wars*
02:23 *Clement se règle*
02:23 *Musique de Star Wars*
02:24 *Musique de Star Wars*
02:24 *Musique de Star Wars*
02:25 *Musique de Star Wars*
02:25 *Musique de Star Wars*
02:26 "Get in here, you chunks of filth!"
02:27 "Eh, he's gonna need a better slogan than that."
02:29 "Now!"
02:30 *Clement se règle*
02:30 *Musique de Star Wars*
02:31 *Musique de Star Wars*
02:31 *Musique de Star Wars*
02:32 *Musique de Star Wars*
02:32 *Musique de Star Wars*
02:33 *Musique de Star Wars*
02:33 *Musique de Star Wars*
02:34 "You bellowed, my captain?"
02:35 "As most of you in red green garbage probably heard, there's going to be an election for elder, and I've decided to run!"
02:43 "Well, my delight is limited only by my absolute terror, sir."
02:46 "Yeah."
02:47 "Unfortunately, my handlers tell me I have a personality problem."
02:51 "I can't imagine what that could be, sir."
02:53 "I'm speaking!"
02:54 "Right!"
02:55 "Apparently, the big money interests who control my party feel I come off a bit, uh, abrasive on TV."
03:02 "Oh, no, no, no, no way you're afraid at all."
03:04 "Fortunately, the big money interests who control my party also control the other party."
03:10 "So, all I gotta do is find an opposing candidate so utterly pathetic and profoundly stupid that I can't help but win."
03:19 "Ah."
03:20 "Question is, which one do I choose? This is an embarrassment of riches, but who's the stupidest?"
03:28 "Aye, come on, who is it?"
03:30 "Uh, who's it gonna be?"
03:31 "Alright, the next one to say something asinine has to run against me!"
03:37 "Uh..."
03:39 "How asinine does it have to be, sir?"
03:41 "Ah, hahahaha, congratulations Sinclair, you're nominated, ah, hahahaha!"
03:48 "Let's do Robbie, Robbie, Robbie, poor Bobby, banana, fenne, poor Bobby, me, my, more Bobby, Robbie!"
03:55 "Hahaha, yeah, now it's my turn!"
03:58 "Okay."
03:59 "Yeah."
03:59 "I, I, I'm dying, you idiot, I, I, I'm dying, you idiot, mama, I'm dying, you idiot, idiot, idiot!"
04:07 "Oh, sorry."
04:08 "You know, mom, I'm just afraid this name could be very traumatic for the baby."
04:12 "Oh, lots of kids have gotten bad names from the elder and gone on to live perfectly normal lives, like your cousin, Machu!"
04:21 "I just remember when I was in school, the way we used to tease poor little, bleh, excuse me, seagullman. Children can be so cruel."
04:28 "Bleh, excuse me, seagullman, hahahaha, what a loser!"
04:33 "Well, you can always apply for a new name from the chief elder just as soon as he's elected."
04:38 "Yes, mother, but if Mr. Richfield wins the election, I just worry what kind of world we'll leave behind for poor little, ah, ah, I'm dying, you idiot."
04:45 "Bleh."
04:46 "Hello, hello, family of mine, I have a bit of information that might be of interest to some of you."
04:51 "Today I heard the call of civic duty and announced my candidacy for chief elder."
04:56 "Wow!"
04:57 "Earl, you're running against Mr. Richfield? Dad, that's really brave."
05:01 "Oh, look, family, the news is on. I think you'll find I'm on every channel."
05:06 "Oh!"
05:07 "My name is Earl Sinclair. I am running for chief elder. In lieu of an acceptance speech, I would like to sing you a musical selection chosen especially for this occasion."
05:22 "You're gonna sing?"
05:24 "Yeah, it was Mr. Richfield's idea."
05:26 "What?"
05:27 "Is he really doing what I think he's doing?"
05:44 [Earl Sinclair's "The Way a Woman Feels" plays]
06:05 "Okay, kids, let's pack."
06:08 "Hey, what do you want? That part's for a mezzo."
06:11 "Earl, what kind of speech is that?"
06:13 "It's the one Mr. Richfield gave me."
06:15 "Mr. Richfield? But you're running against him!"
06:17 "I know that! He chose me over all the other guys at work."
06:21 "You mean he picked you to lose?"
06:22 "Of course! Son, under our system, a guy can't just muscle his way to the top without any opposition."
06:27 "We are required by our constitution to let the voters think they have a choice. That's democracy."
06:33 "Earl, how can you live with yourself, helping Mr. Richfield get elected?"
06:38 "Oh, I can live fine, friend. I can live just like a king. Don't have to go to work, don't have to push down trees."
06:43 "All I have to do is run for elder and lose, lose, lose."
06:46 "It's morning in Pangaea."
06:54 "But one dinosaur is already hard at work finding solutions for a better tomorrow."
07:00 "B.P. Richfield."
07:01 "Whether running a multi-million dollar corporation, chopping wood like a regular guy..."
07:06 "You don't come here for the honey!"
07:08 "...or sharing good cheer with the simple working folk, B.P. Richfield shows that he cares."
07:14 "All the guys at work see him as a member of the family."
07:17 "He comes to my house all the time. My wife calls him honey. My kids call him daddy."
07:22 "B.P. Richfield. He cares so much, it hurts."
07:26 "On tonight's Newsmaker Interview, B.P. Richfield talks to our own venerable, revered senior commentator, Edward Argyro."
07:35 "Thank you, Howard."
07:37 "Mr. Richfield, in the last 24 hours, your public image has undergone a radical transformation..."
07:42 "...from a savage, bloodthirsty killer to a kinder, gentler B.P. Richfield."
07:47 "Isn't this just a shameless, cynical ploy to trick the public into loving you?"
07:51 "Oh, Ed! Not at all!"
07:54 "By the way, did you get those flowers I sent you?"
07:56 "Why, uh, yes. They're lovely. Thank you."
08:00 "Oh, you're welcome."
08:02 "Mr. Richfield, I understand you favor heavy taxation for the poor, and no taxes at all for the rich."
08:08 "That's right, I call it my trickle-down theory."
08:11 "See, rich folks tend to live in big houses on the tops of hills."
08:15 "And so if we give them all the money, some of it's bound to slip out of their pockets and roll down to where the poor folks are."
08:22 "I... I see."
08:24 "Mr. Richfield, you say you want to be the education elder, and yet you favor the repeal of all child labor laws."
08:32 "Absolutely! Children love to work! It's like a game to them, getting all dirty down in a wee, say-so coal mine!"
08:39 "And because they're small, you can fit more of them in a tight space!"
08:43 "Why, your average six-year-old can work 18, 20 hours a day without rest!"
08:47 "Hello? Fran? Robbie? Charlene? Hello?"
08:53 "What's all this fuzzy stuff?"
08:55 "Oh, wait a minute! Maybe this is a dream!"
08:59 "Oh! This is the cake dream!"
09:04 "Oh, that'll be the centerfold girls."
09:08 "Fran, you're not supposed to be here!"
09:12 "The centerfold girls aren't coming, Earl."
09:14 "No, but this is my cake dream!"
09:16 "Your conscience is intruding, Earl. You know you don't deserve the cake dream. Come with me."
09:21 "Oh, jeez!"
09:23 "Achoo!"
09:25 "We live out here now."
09:26 "What happened to our house?"
09:28 "We had to sell the house to buy food. Mr. Richfield lowered the minimum wage to two cents a day."
09:33 "Mr. Richfield? You mean he was elected?"
09:36 "That's right, Earl."
09:37 "Oh, no!"
09:39 "I'm starving! Give me food! Give me money! Give me shelter!"
09:46 "These children living on the street are such a nuisance!"
09:49 "Well, I understand they wouldn't live in a house if you gave them one."
09:52 "Thanks for nothing!"
09:54 "How are we ever going to feed the family?"
09:56 "Hey, don't worry, Dad. I got it covered."
09:58 "Oh, bless you, son. You brought us all food."
10:01 "Oh, that's not food, Dad. That's my pancreas. I can get good money for it at the hospital."
10:06 "What's that?"
10:07 "My pancreas."
10:08 "Dad, I'm starving! Give it to me!"
10:10 "Hey, cut it out! It's your own!"
10:12 "Come here!"
10:13 "Oh, Fran! How did all this happen?"
10:16 "This is the life you've made for us, Earl."
10:18 "You should have listened to your conscience."
10:20 "No!"
10:21 "You should have listened to your conscience."
10:23 "No!"
10:24 "You should have listened to your conscience."
10:26 "No!"
10:27 "No! What is it, Earl?"
10:29 "Fran, I can't do it, Fran! I can't let him win!"
10:33 "I gotta try and beat him!"
10:36 "I'm the only hope for our nation's future!"
10:45 "Yes, Earl Sinclair's campaign for Elder has begun to turn itself around."
10:49 "After an astoundingly inane beginning, Sinclair has put the dinosaur community on notice that he is a candidate to be taken seriously."
10:56 "He'll be speaking tonight from his modest, suburban home with our own Edward R. Hero. Edward?"
11:01 "Thank you, Howard. How are you tonight, Earl?"
11:04 "Never better, Ed! Maybe a little bit nervous."
11:07 "Don't worry, Earl. Just a few simple questions. Relax and have fun with it."
11:12 "Okay."
11:13 "Over the last seven years, our nation's budget deficit has grown 46%, from $220 billion to $372 billion."
11:21 "At the current growth rate of 12.3% per month, our deficit can be expected to reach a total of $436 billion by next year."
11:29 "What would you do about this disastrous situation?"
11:32 "Mr. Sinclair? Mr. Sinclair?"
11:37 "Uh... uh... he'll be right back."
11:40 "Well, I, uh..."
11:43 "Take deep breaths, Pally Boy. Deep breaths."
11:46 "Oh, Roy, I can't do it. I just can't."
11:49 "Pull yourself together, Pally Boy. We're all counting on you. You gotta beat Mr. Ridgefield now."
11:54 "I know, but these questions are hard. He's gonna know I didn't study. This was so much easier when I was trying to lose."
12:00 "Easy does it there, Pally Boy. Here's a helpful hint from some of your more successful politicians."
12:05 "When you're asked a tough question, simply steer the conversation toward one of three safe topics."
12:12 "Love of family, love of country, and puppies."
12:15 "Oh, come on, Roy! That's so condescending! It's so cynical!"
12:20 "Yeah."
12:21 "I refuse to sink that low!"
12:23 "Mr. Sinclair, this country is presently running a massive budget deficit, which can only be addressed through the unpopular step of raising taxes."
12:30 "How would you deal with this politically explosive dilemma?"
12:33 "Thanks for asking, Ed. My family is fine."
12:36 "Mr. Sinclair, I'm waiting for an answer. Do you see higher taxes ahead or not?"
12:41 "Well, first there's my son, Robert. The oldest boy. He's quite a chip off the old block."
12:46 "Hey, how's the team doing this year, Robbo?"
12:48 "Huh? What team?"
12:50 "And then there's little Charlene. She's at a dance tonight. Don't stay out too late, honey!"
12:56 "And then there's my darling little baby. Uh-uh, I'm dying, you idiot!"
13:01 "Edie, Edie, Edie, Edie!"
13:03 "Who loves you, baby?"
13:04 "Hope you lose! Yay! I did!"
13:08 "Mr. Sinclair, your family is very nice, but will you please answer my question?"
13:13 "Yes, Ed. This is a great country, and it has a great flag, and I don't care who hears me say it!"
13:19 "Brrr! Isn't it a bit chilly in here?"
13:21 "Bah!"
13:22 "Mr. Sinclair, you have consistently avoided answering my questions.
13:27 It's becoming obvious to me that you know nothing about the substantive issues of this election."
13:32 "Thank you for mentioning that, Ed. Yes, it is true. I do adore puppies.
13:36 And here's the newest member of the Sinclair family. We call them checkers."
13:42 "Now let's take a look at our DNN instantaneous news poll.
13:46 Prior to the interview you just saw, this is how things stood, with Richfield leading Sinclair by 93 points.
13:51 After Sinclair's interview tonight, we see that Pangean's Everywhere... fell for it."
13:57 [Music]
14:06 "I'm gonna run the country, I'm gonna run the country, yes, yes, yes, oh yes, I'm gonna run the country!"
14:12 "Uh, Dad, I've been thinking."
14:14 "No! Not a word! I don't want you thinking!
14:17 I don't want you thinking of some stupid reason why me being Chief Elder isn't the best thing that ever happened!"
14:21 "Earl, I think we should listen to Robbie."
14:23 "Of course you do!"
14:25 "What is it, dear?"
14:27 "Well, it's just that with all Dad's talk about the flag and puppies, everybody's voting for him for the wrong reasons.
14:32 Chief Elder's a pretty hard job and maybe knowing how to win an election is not the same thing as knowing how to run a country."
14:39 "Well, there he goes. He's done it. I was up, now I'm down.
14:44 He has rained on my parade by throwing the truth in my face!"
14:47 "Earl, don't get all upset. Robbie's given us something to think about. Why don't we all just sleep on it?"
14:52 "No! If I go to sleep, I'll have some kind of dream that'll ruin my life!"
14:55 "Earl, you need your sleep for the debate tomorrow."
14:58 "Forget it, Fran! I'm not gonna sleep!
15:00 I'm gonna stay right here, wide awake, eyes open, without sleeping, no sleeping for me!"
15:06 "Daddy!"
15:07 "Hmm?"
15:08 "Nighty-night!"
15:09 "Oh! Oh, jeez! Oh!"
15:16 "Wow! Where am I? What's going on? What? Oh, no, it's that fuzzy stuff again!
15:23 Alright, conscience, what's it gonna be?"
15:25 "Welcome to the Cave of Destiny, Mr. Elder, if you'll step this way."
15:29 "Mr. Elder, you mean I won? Oh, this is a good dream!
15:33 [laughs]
15:35 Oh, look, I get my own desk!
15:37 Neato! Hey, what's this?"
15:39 "That's the red button, sir, to launch a full-scale war against our enemies.
15:42 Only you can push it."
15:44 "Oh, well, maybe I'll push it. Maybe I won't!"
15:48 "This requires immediate attention, sir!"
15:50 "Oh, what is it?"
15:51 "Our enemies have placed strategic weapons 60 miles from our borders.
15:54 If we don't threaten to attack them, we leave ourselves vulnerable to a first strike!"
15:57 "Oh, well, that's not good!"
15:58 "Of course, if we do attack them, it will almost certainly result in the complete destruction of our planet."
16:03 "Well, then where would we live?"
16:04 "Mr. Elder, in the two hours since you were elected, the stock market has plunged 500 points!"
16:08 "Sir!"
16:09 "We're expecting a run on the banks! What should we do?"
16:11 "Gee, I don't know, I could hug a puppy!"
16:13 "Oh, there's a little girl trapped in a well! She needs your words of encouragement!"
16:16 "Uh, you're trapped in a well? That's terrible!"
16:19 "Sir, we need a decision right away!"
16:21 "The stock market dropped another 100 points! Sir!"
16:23 "Time to work it out for Becky's food!"
16:25 "Sir, it's 12.30. Where would you like to go for lunch?"
16:27 "Enemies! Enemies are here!"
16:29 "Mr. Elder, you're wrong! Why don't you all just leave me alone?"
16:33 "You're lost!"
16:35 "Oops!"
16:38 "Oh no! And on my first day!"
16:44 "Good evening, and welcome to tonight's election eve debate, the final hurdle in the race for Chief Elder."
16:55 "Here is your moderator, our venerable political pundit, the crusty and avuncular, Edward R. Hero."
17:01 "Thank you, Howard. We'll begin with Mr. Sinclair."
17:04 "In the past year, our nation's unemployment rate has risen to 14 percent."
17:08 "What steps would you take to curb this disturbing trend?"
17:12 "Edward, let me begin by making a general statement."
17:15 "I'd make a terrible elder! It would be wrong to elect me! I'm completely incompetent!"
17:19 "Uh, in rebuttal, let me say I agree with him 100 percent!"
17:25 "Mr. Sinclair, do you know what you're saying?"
17:28 "Not usually. That's the whole point."
17:30 "Are you asking your supporters to vote for Mr. Richfield?"
17:33 "No, no, no, no! See, I may be a boob, but he's absolute evil!"
17:37 "Evil? What are you doing, you backstabbing bucket of puss?"
17:42 "You are evil, and you know it. You've told me so lots of times."
17:45 "He picked me to run against him, and told me I had to lose."
17:49 "What?"
17:50 "Aaah! Sinclair, I'll kill you!"
17:54 "Let me at him!"
17:57 "I'll pull your head off and bowl with it!"
18:00 "Aaah! Let me at him!"
18:02 "What an appalling display."
18:07 "The voters of this nation are presented with a choice between a monstrous, bloodthirsty psychopath and a self-confessed brain-dead ignoramus."
18:15 "Help me, please!"
18:16 "What will future generations think of us? That we cannot present the public with better alternatives than these?"
18:22 "Surely somewhere, there must exist a leader with the intelligence, vision and decency to guide our nation."
18:29 "I'm Edward R. Hero. Be sure you vote tomorrow. Good night, and good luck."
18:35 "Well, the polls have just closed, and the turnout was reported to be light."
18:42 "But I see the election returns are coming in."
18:44 "Mom, do you think Daddy still has a chance?"
18:46 "Be serious! I confess I was a boob on national television!"
18:49 "You could still win, Earl. Lots of boobs vote, and they need representation, too."
18:53 "Yeah!"
18:54 "And here are the final results. We see that 40,019 voters chose Earl Sinclair."
19:00 "Oh, yeah!"
19:01 "What were they thinking?"
19:03 "And 60,304 votes for B.P. Richfield."
19:06 "Aww!"
19:08 "Wait, I think that's more."
19:10 "One moment. I've just been informed that there has been a landslide write-in vote of 2,300,012 votes for veteran D.N.N. news commentator Edward R. Hero."
19:20 "That's you, Edward. Any comment?"
19:23 "Once again, a bored and apathetic electorate has been forced to..."
19:27 "Huh?"
19:28 "Well, dress me up and call me Sally. I'm the new elder. Hmm... Maybe the system does work after all."
19:38 "Come on, Earl. Don't be a sore loser. I think you have something to say."
19:43 "Oh, great elder. By what name do you call this child?"
19:48 "I decree that henceforth, this child shall be called... Hmm..."
19:54 "I'm the baby. Gotta love me."
19:57 "Hmm... Baby? Baby Sinclair. Yes, it sort of fits."
20:03 "Baby Sinclair. Baby Sinclair! Next!"
20:07 "Baby? Earl, what a wonderful name. Baby."
20:12 "Baby!"
20:13 "Baby? I could have done this job!"
20:18 "I'm the baby. Gotta love me."
20:21 "I'm the baby. Gotta love me."
20:24 "I'm the baby. Gotta love me."
20:27 "I'm the baby. Gotta love me."
20:30 "I'm the baby. Gotta love me."
20:33 "I'm the baby. Gotta love me."
20:36 "I'm the baby. Gotta love me."
20:39 "I'm the baby. Gotta love me."
20:42 "I'm the baby. Gotta love me."
20:45 "I'm the baby. Gotta love me."
20:48 "I'm the baby. Gotta love me."
20:51 "I'm the baby. Gotta love me."
20:54 "I'm the baby. Gotta love me."
20:57 "I'm the baby. Gotta love me."