Aina Abdul berkongsi detik kali terakhir menatap wajah ayahnya sebelum disahkan meninggal dunia ketika dia menyertai pertandingan nyanyian di Negeri Sembilan. Aina menyifatkan arwah ayahnya ialah peminat nombor satu dirinya. Malah, Aina mengejutkan apabila berkongsi tidak mahu lagu menggunakan jenama 'A Night With Aina Abdul' selepas beberapa siri konsert yang dijalankan dianggap meninggalkan pengalaman 'pahit'.
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MusicTranscript
00:00 At that particular moment, the competition that I entered, while I was waiting for the result for the final that night,
00:10 my mom asked me to come down the stage. She said, "Come down, come down, come down."
00:17 "Why?" Everyone looked at me, it was weird, "Why?"
00:20 So I went down the stage, and that was an outdoor competition.
00:24 I was in the countryside of Negeri Sembilan. So I went down, and my mom said, "Come, come, come, your dad is here."
00:31 "Nazat." I was like, I had my own way of coping with my problems.
00:39 And it's not pretty. Artists are a bit crazy, right?
00:44 Of course, there were moments where I would throw things.
00:47 So my house was very limited. A very limited person would enter.
00:53 Yeah, that's the secret I can tell. A very limited person knows where I am and knows how my life is.
01:02 You're back with me, Sudirman Muat Tahir, in Bilik Gelap.
01:11 This fourth season and this week, I'm bringing another guest who I think will definitely give us another interesting story,
01:20 an inspiration for all of us. Here she is, a singer who I think is getting more and more famous,
01:27 and is colouring our industry. Number one, Aina Abdul.
01:32 Hello, Abang.
01:34 How are you, Aina?
01:35 I'm fine, Alhamdulillah.
01:37 How are you preparing for the song contest?
01:45 I'm not ready yet. But we already have a concept.
01:52 Of course, that's the most important thing. I think AJL is like my annual event.
02:00 And I love it. I love this platform.
02:04 Although people say it's just her, but for me, every time I enter, it's my first entrance to AJL.
02:15 Because I know I will be different from the previous years.
02:19 So, I'm not sure if I'm ready yet. I'm like, "Hello, Abu."
02:25 Aina, like you said, people say it's just her.
02:31 Before this, you've never experienced this, right?
02:34 From the beginning of your appearance, from the program, one program after another.
02:40 Getting this opportunity is very difficult for you. Is that right, Aina?
02:44 That's right. Because people who have known me from the beginning know where I started.
02:50 I think Abang Sude is one of the first people to see and witness the birth of Aina.
03:00 So, her beginnings were not beautiful. Her beginnings were full of mistakes.
03:06 And we followed a lot of people.
03:10 People said, "A", we followed "A". People said, "B", we followed "B".
03:14 But actually, sometimes we won't even find the solution after a few years.
03:21 So, now I'm curious. I feel like when I read the comments, it's just her.
03:27 I feel like, "Wow, it has been that long. It has been to that point that people can comment like that."
03:35 To me, it's not a negative thing. It's actually a responsibility for me.
03:40 So that when people say that, they will always feel like it's the first time seeing Aina Abdul.
03:46 That's what I want to do this year.
03:50 Aina, every time you see the name Aina Abdul in any performances, competitions, or shows on TV,
03:58 or anywhere, one thing that people are definitely looking forward to is your appearance.
04:04 I'm also curious, like, a lot of people say that they want to do all of those things.
04:13 One is of course, your costing.
04:15 A lot of people say that.
04:19 Maybe if you want to talk about this, people often ask,
04:23 why did you spend too much time on your appearance?
04:29 Why? I think...
04:35 I have spent a lot over the years.
04:39 Sometimes I'm honest with you, I didn't even see the money.
04:45 After working so many years, people see Aina Abdul,
04:51 they come to see her, and they bring their entourage.
04:59 If you ask me, I don't even see where the money is.
05:05 And that is quite dangerous sometimes.
05:09 And that's why at this age, I'm lucky because I have my brother who takes care of me.
05:19 He always reminds me, you can do all kinds of things, but remember the future.
05:27 Because sometimes, an artist doesn't even think about what they want to do.
05:33 What they think, they want it in front of their eyes.
05:35 Translated.
05:37 That's right. And that's my weakness sometimes.
05:40 So, I'm lucky to have a brother that is there to remind me.
05:46 Sometimes you can also achieve an idea like this, but maybe in a budget like this.
05:52 That's what I've learned in the past few years.
05:55 Especially last year.
05:57 2023 was the most challenging year for me.
06:04 What was challenging, Aina? The money?
06:08 Challenging in terms of how I want to get the strength.
06:20 Or people see me as...
06:24 2023 was the year I won my first AJL with Terus Hidup.
06:30 But that year, after winning, Allah tested me in many ways.
06:34 We want to get to know each other.
06:39 Who's your friend, who's your opponent?
06:41 Who's my opponent.
06:42 In 2023, there was a scene where I fell.
06:48 But people didn't see it.
06:49 But I fell into my own bubble.
06:54 I realized that this is the true friend, this is the true people that I should have in my life.
07:05 So, 2023 is that year to learn.
07:08 So, winning doesn't guarantee a continuous beauty.
07:14 Aina, I was taught by my mother that every time Allah gives you a reward, you have to be prepared.
07:25 I was prepared.
07:27 I had to be prepared.
07:28 But to be honest, I wasn't prepared last year.
07:31 But after I won, there were many challenges that I had to learn.
07:38 Even until the very end of 2023, I met a lot of people that are there in my life.
07:45 Sometimes not because they appreciate the passion, but they only saw the opportunities that they could grab.
07:54 When they were in, like people say, in this Aina Abdul's world.
08:02 That's what I learned a lot.
08:05 What made you, Aina, fall into your own bubble?
08:13 Maybe only you and your team knew about it.
08:16 And it wasn't shown to the public.
08:18 What made you feel that way?
08:24 What made you feel like, "Oh, okay."
08:28 That people, various things, you accepted.
08:33 I believe in my life, and everyone, people come and go.
08:40 Sometimes people who come into our lives, they come as a lesson.
08:45 And that's what I learned last year, especially in the business side.
08:53 I am an artist who loves my work very much.
08:58 So, sometimes when we meet people in our lives,
09:03 to take the opportunity with the passion that we have,
09:08 and when they show their true colours,
09:11 when we see their true colours through this agreement, this and that,
09:20 we feel like, "Do I really have a value in here?"
09:27 And all of that, at some point, can kill the artist's passion.
09:37 Because we, in this industry, we try to be honest with our work.
09:42 But not everyone around us truly get that meaning.
09:46 They only see coins. They only see the business side.
09:52 So, people like me, my work, will be narrowed in the middle.
09:58 With their games.
10:00 So, how I got out of 2023, I tried to look at it in a bigger picture.
10:09 Who should I be in my life?
10:12 Who should I, not to say throw away, but...
10:17 -Limit. -Yes.
10:20 We should narrow our circle.
10:23 What is not needed, let it go.
10:26 But if we meet, we should be kind.
10:32 But what you, as you said, you love art very much.
10:39 And what you show, especially your looks, is an art form to you.
10:46 And that is you, Aina Abdul.
10:48 When people say, "Aina Abdul", they know what your looks are like.
10:52 When you see what you've been through,
10:57 is it a waste for you too?
11:02 Maybe for the next few years, you'll feel like, "This is not right."
11:07 So, people know that I'm Aina Abdul.
11:09 That's also part of my thinking.
11:14 Of course, I tell myself, not to slow down, but to choose.
11:27 To choose and really think it through.
11:31 Before, I wanted to be this, that, tree, cloud.
11:37 But now, I'm not that young anymore.
11:44 -30 years old, Aina? -Yes.
11:47 So, I choose.
11:49 This year, I like the changes I've learned.
11:53 Try to slow it down.
11:54 I like it.
11:55 This year, I'll make sure I have a meeting every week.
11:59 I'll make sure we know the start of the month.
12:05 This is what we're going to do.
12:08 This is Aina's list of activities.
12:11 We've thought about the events.
12:16 And we're going to have a really huge event, which is AJL.
12:21 So, we've planned it properly.
12:24 Before, I wasn't like that.
12:27 I wanted to showcase everything.
12:34 Without thinking about the business side.
12:40 We didn't think about it.
12:41 At the end of the day, we didn't have anything.
12:45 So, I have to take care of that.
12:48 It's important.
12:50 In other words, you have to think about the pocket.
12:55 You have to have it.
12:56 This is Aina Abdul's name but it's not there.
12:59 Aina, did you think about it?
13:02 I did.
13:03 After my brother made me aware of it.
13:14 I have a disease.
13:16 I have a disease that I want to please everybody.
13:21 That's also a problem in me.
13:25 You have to think about your own feelings.
13:27 Yes.
13:28 Until I'm not there anymore.
13:32 Until I'm not there anymore.
13:35 The important thing is you've pleased other people.
13:37 Yes.
13:38 And when we work, we see the bill.
13:44 We don't realise it.
13:48 The bill is different from the account.
13:50 Yes.
13:51 That's when we have to take a break.
13:56 It doesn't mean we don't go out.
14:00 We have to restart, refresh everything, refocus.
14:07 Do I really need this person?
14:11 We don't fight.
14:15 But we choose what we need for that moment.
14:21 If you gather all that, it's a million.
14:24 No.
14:25 I don't know.
14:27 But...
14:28 A lot.
14:29 A lot.
14:30 But not like people say, it's all waste.
14:35 I believe and I know that the sacrifices over the years...
14:42 ...bring good results.
14:45 And it's also a lesson for Aina.
14:47 Yes.
14:48 Don't do that again.
14:51 Aina, we know how your journey is.
14:57 I think it's not easy to get your current name.
15:04 You went through that and you know.
15:06 From the beginning until now, your work is well-received by fans.
15:14 Have you ever felt down?
15:18 Remembering the fate of getting your current name.
15:22 A lot.
15:24 I think the witnesses are the walls at my house.
15:31 My piano.
15:33 They are the witnesses.
15:36 If they can talk, they can express their feelings.
15:41 The problem is I keep on asking myself...
15:48 ...if I make a song.
15:51 Alhamdulillah, I make a song.
15:53 The process is fast.
15:56 But when we want to prepare the song, it takes time.
15:59 Because we already have the body of the song.
16:02 But we want to prepare it and it takes a long time.
16:05 Because I'm too hard on myself.
16:09 Too hard.
16:10 That's why I need someone in my life to tell me that...
16:15 ...enough.
16:18 That's okay.
16:19 In 2023, there will be a moment when I don't have that person in my life.
16:27 I don't have someone to remind me.
16:31 So, that's why towards the end of 2023, I need this person...
16:38 ...or this group of people who know how I work...
16:43 ...and they will advise me.
16:45 Because sometimes people are afraid of me.
16:48 Most people are afraid of me.
16:50 In my work, my brother said, "People are afraid of you."
16:56 "Why?"
17:00 "Are you a coward or are you overreacting?"
17:06 "No, you're just soft-spoken."
17:08 "But you have that vibe that makes people afraid of you."
17:12 Maybe because of my mother, my mother prays that no weird people...
17:17 ...will come to my life.
17:19 So that people can work with me, respect me.
17:23 Maybe that's why people are more afraid of me.
17:27 Because I have a vibe that when I go to work...
17:30 ...people will even lay their hands on me.
17:35 I feel like that's not good.
17:38 Maybe it's the aura of your child.
17:40 I want people to love me.
17:42 I'm the type of person that people will advise me.
17:48 But sometimes people are afraid of me.
17:50 Maybe it's because I have to slow down.
17:54 I don't slow down. I don't say anything.
17:57 But my silence is too strong.
18:00 That's what I'm trying to fix.
18:06 I have to let people in more.
18:10 When you're in that phase of being sad and everything...
18:15 ...do you express it to yourself?
18:17 What do you mean?
18:19 Do you express it to yourself or with the piano or the wall at home?
18:24 Or is there someone who is your listener?
18:28 Or do you let someone else do it?
18:32 I have my own way of coping with my problems.
18:41 It's not pretty.
18:46 I don't wish anybody to see it.
18:48 What you want to do.
18:50 Artists are a bit crazy.
18:55 But that's my way to release everything.
19:00 That's why I'm always alone.
19:04 I'm always alone because when I'm frustrated, sad, angry...
19:10 ...I'm angry with this person.
19:15 At home, they're my witnesses.
19:17 Of course, there are moments when I will throw things.
19:22 So, my house is limited. A very limited person will enter.
19:27 That's the secret I can share.
19:31 A very limited person knows where I am and knows how my life is.
19:37 Because I'm a bit of an all-over-the-place type.
19:44 That's how I cope with myself.
19:46 In the midst of chaotic, then suddenly I will sit on my piano and write a song.
19:52 Do you cry sometimes?
19:53 Of course.
19:54 When I go for a drive or to the gym, even if nothing happens, I don't cry.
20:00 I don't know why.
20:02 Maybe crying is my form of coping with the problems.
20:11 My family knows.
20:12 They might not see me as a different person.
20:18 They see me singing, what I've accomplished.
20:21 But on the other hand, do they know me?
20:23 Like my mother.
20:25 My mom is the closest to me.
20:28 She knows.
20:29 She's one of the people who sees me.
20:34 She knows how my life is in KL.
20:38 She's a limited person, but she's my mom.
20:41 She knows how my son is.
20:44 Even now, when I want to wash the car, my mom does it.
20:51 She knows what's in the car.
20:55 My mom will...
20:56 It's been a while since I washed this car.
21:01 I have a work car and a personal car.
21:07 I'm not too organized.
21:09 I'm only organized when I'm Aina Abdul.
21:12 They're two different things.
21:13 When you go back to your old name?
21:16 Nurul Aina. Nurul Aina Minta Pergahani.
21:18 She can't do anything.
21:21 She can't do anything.
21:23 She's like...
21:24 She has to be taught.
21:26 Taught.
21:28 To be relaxed.
21:29 Yes.
21:30 To be reminded.
21:31 "Okay, I have to do this."
21:35 But as Aina Abdul, I'm very prepared.
21:38 I'll be like, "Okay, I want to wear this."
21:40 "This has to be washed."
21:42 Sometimes I want to try to be Aina Abdul in my normal everyday life.
21:50 But it doesn't work out.
21:52 Maybe she's an artist.
21:54 Maybe.
21:56 Very complicated.
21:57 I don't know who can be with me.
21:59 I don't know.
22:02 Aina, everyone has seen your work.
22:05 Family, friends, especially the fans.
22:08 People in the industry.
22:09 Did your parents see your work?
22:13 No.
22:15 No.
22:17 Even our last memory together was when I joined a singing competition.
22:26 And I lost him on the same day.
22:29 That's how I lost my father.
22:33 During my competition.
22:35 How old were you at that time?
22:37 I was 15 years old.
22:40 Form 3.
22:41 If you want to ask who's my number one fan,
22:45 actually my grandfather was my first fan.
22:50 My number one fan.
22:51 Then my mom.
22:52 My mom now is my number one.
22:54 But used to be my dad.
22:56 Because my dad really supported me in singing.
23:00 There's a moment when I was young,
23:03 when I was in elementary school,
23:05 my mom and dad fought.
23:07 A lot of things.
23:09 I witnessed that because I didn't get,
23:13 like in school, I was the teacher's daughter.
23:15 But I didn't get the decision that my mom wanted me to get.
23:19 So ended up my mom was embarrassed.
23:22 She's the teacher's daughter, she's not like a kid.
23:24 Yes, she's not like a kid.
23:25 And my mom's title was teacher of Cemerlang.
23:28 Because my mom was famous in 9th grade.
23:32 For Malay language, for the paper of Malay language.
23:35 So I dropped out of school.
23:38 And you were the only one.
23:39 So they fought.
23:41 But my dad always supported me.
23:46 So at that particular moment,
23:48 the competition that I entered,
23:50 while I was waiting for the result,
23:55 for the final that night,
23:57 my mom asked me to come down the stage.
24:02 She said, "Get down, get down."
24:03 "Why?"
24:04 Everyone looked at me, it was weird.
24:06 So I got down the stage.
24:08 And that was an outdoor competition.
24:10 I remember it was in Kampangan, 9th grade.
24:14 So I got down and my mom said,
24:16 "Junior, your dad has passed away."
24:18 I was like...
24:20 Suddenly?
24:22 Suddenly.
24:23 We were still kids.
24:25 Back then, Form 3 students were not like the ones now.
24:29 Back then, Form 3 students were like a bunch of kids.
24:31 We were really like kids.
24:35 So I got down.
24:37 And I saw my dad was like...
24:40 He was in a coma.
24:41 He had a heart attack.
24:44 And we rushed to the hospital.
24:49 And I left the competition.
24:51 At that time, it was not important anymore.
24:54 But I followed my mom and my dad.
24:57 My mom drove.
24:58 My dad was next to me.
25:00 His head was all sprained and weak.
25:03 People who were about to leave,
25:04 they were like...
25:05 They were exhausted.
25:07 So I was in the middle.
25:09 I held my dad's head because he was so weak.
25:12 And it would affect my mom to drive.
25:14 So...
25:15 The moment we arrived at the hospital,
25:18 he was actually not there anymore.
25:20 He left.
25:22 And the old man saw the competition,
25:27 saw you singing at the end,
25:29 and you also witnessed your dad leaving.
25:31 That's right.
25:32 As soon as we arrived at the hospital,
25:35 they rushed him to the emergency room.
25:39 But after a few minutes,
25:41 the doctor told my mom that he was no longer...
25:45 that his husband was no longer there.
25:49 So I was there.
25:50 I was sitting on the wall.
25:53 And I didn't understand a single thing.
25:55 I didn't understand what it meant to lose.
25:58 But I only understood the meaning that night.
26:03 Which was the second day.
26:06 The next day.
26:07 That was the only time I understood.
26:10 Your dad was no longer there.
26:12 He's really gone.
26:15 And what makes it sadder is,
26:17 that same night,
26:19 when we got home,
26:22 there was this old man who came to our house.
26:25 And he brought ABC food.
26:28 That food.
26:30 And he said that his dad ordered it for Yun.
26:35 Yun is my nickname.
26:39 His dad ordered it for Yun.
26:41 I was like...
26:43 It's crazy.
26:46 Yeah.
26:47 The last thing he ordered for you, right?
26:51 Yes.
26:52 And at that time, I just felt like,
26:54 "Oh, this is how he feels."
26:56 Maybe when the old man was still around,
27:02 what did he always tell you?
27:06 My dad is a bit quiet.
27:09 He doesn't talk much, but he likes music.
27:13 He bought two CDs.
27:16 He really likes Sofas.
27:18 We used to have a band called Sofas.
27:21 And he likes Agnes Monica.
27:24 He likes my song Matahari.
27:26 And those are the two things he always plays.
27:29 When I go back to school,
27:31 my dad will take me to school.
27:33 We will always jam to that song.
27:35 Sofas.
27:37 "Danding like this."
27:39 That's it.
27:42 I don't know how these two artists
27:45 could be in my dad's playlist.
27:49 But it just happened.
27:50 It's so weird.
27:51 My dad's repertoire.
27:53 Maybe Aina picked it up from my dad.
27:56 And if your dad was still around,
27:59 he would be proud of you.
28:02 I hope so.
28:04 I hope he's happy to see his daughter.
28:11 And...
28:13 Yeah, I'm happy.
28:16 Does your dad have the spirit?
28:18 Yes.
28:19 Because he's a...
28:22 He's a father figure.
28:24 My dad has no legs.
28:26 He has no legs.
28:28 So...
28:29 He's a person who doesn't have legs,
28:33 but he's the most like he has legs.
28:36 I mean...
28:38 His spirit, right?
28:39 Yes.
28:40 He's the most excited when he's at the neighborhood.
28:44 He's the one who will gather everyone.
28:46 "Okay, come to this meeting."
28:48 Like uncles.
28:49 "Meeting at this stall."
28:50 He's the most excited.
28:52 So when he's not around,
28:53 everyone can feel it.
28:55 All...
28:56 His gang members can feel it.
29:00 And they don't have that kind of...
29:02 annual meet-up anymore.
29:04 After my dad's gone.
29:06 So...
29:08 His spirit is really strong in me.
29:10 Every time I have a problem,
29:13 or something that I find difficult,
29:15 I will remember him.
29:17 Because...
29:18 If he can do it,
29:20 I can't do it.
29:22 I'll be embarrassed if I can't do it.
29:25 Of course, what you've been through and achieved today,
29:30 even a little bit,
29:31 must be from his prayers, right?
29:33 His spirit, his prayers.
29:35 Because he really...
29:36 He really wants me to be a singer.
29:38 But then when my dad passed away,
29:41 my mom's 360 degree changed.
29:44 She changed...
29:46 She changed...
29:48 Her 360 degree changed.
29:50 She...
29:51 She supported me.
29:52 Even she forced me to enter competitions every week.
29:57 Based on talent.
29:58 Because we didn't have a vocal club back then.
30:01 -You just sang, right?
30:02 We didn't have a vocal club in middle school.
30:04 We only had one in Form 5.
30:06 We joined a vocal club.
30:08 In the early days, my mom would ask me to practice singing...
30:13 ...to enter competitions.
30:16 We got money for that.
30:18 At that time,
30:19 we got RM500 for the first place.
30:22 -That's a lot.
30:23 -That's right.
30:24 Aina...
30:27 Back to your success,
30:30 last year you had a concert.
30:32 Was that a success for you?
30:34 Success...
30:41 People say...
30:43 Behind every success,
30:46 there's also a hardship or a learning lesson for me.
30:51 Success...
30:54 for me to see thousands of fans coming.
30:57 That's a success for me.
30:59 Because I know I used to be in that spot and rooting for someone else.
31:04 I'm an artist.
31:06 I'm one of the thousands of fans.
31:08 So, this time we were at the moment.
31:11 We went on stage and there were 10,000 people in front of us.
31:17 That was a success for me.
31:19 -For the concept journey?
31:25 -The journey...
31:26 ...
31:27 It's a learning process.
31:32 It's a learning process.
31:34 I don't dare to say more.
31:36 Because of...
31:39 The people that I'm working with are not small people.
31:43 They are all influential people.
31:45 In fact, they have been longer...
31:48 They have been in the industry longer than me.
31:51 And I was hoping that these people could...
31:55 ...teach me.
31:57 But instead, I have to learn my lesson by myself.
32:02 And all of that is the price...
32:06 ...of the experience that I have to pay...
32:10 ...in order to succeed, in order to establish a concert.
32:17 That's what people said.
32:19 The experience is not cheap.
32:23 -It sounds like you're hurt, Aina.
32:26 -Yes. Because maybe people see all the fame and like...
32:32 ...all the success in the media write-up.
32:39 Which is...
32:40 I wouldn't say it's a failure.
32:43 But it's a lot of...
32:46 There's a lot of things underneath that I have learned.
32:51 If I want to do a concert with someone else after this...
32:56 ...I have to be really...
33:00 People said, I have to learn a lot more.
33:03 Not just...
33:05 Sometimes, the problem is not just on one side.
33:08 Sometimes, it's also my problem.
33:10 Because I'm not skillful enough in the business.
33:14 And I'm not strict.
33:18 And I don't have a strict team.
33:21 A strict team is actually good for me.
33:24 We don't...
33:26 In 2023, I don't have...
33:29 To be honest, I lost some...
33:32 I lost some people who...
33:38 People say they're my wings.
33:41 They're not in my life.
33:44 At the point where I need help the most, they're not there.
33:50 So, I'm left with a few people who...
33:58 ...doesn't really know...
34:02 ...or doesn't really know how to...
34:05 ...appreciate the value of Aina Abdul.
34:09 So, I...
34:11 I'm sorry about that.
34:13 I don't blame anyone for what I mean.
34:18 But...
34:20 They are a lesson for me.
34:24 Maybe this happened because...
34:29 ...I'm too trusting.
34:32 I trust that person too much.
34:35 I put my future in that person's hands.
34:41 Which is a problem.
34:43 The thing that I learned the most is...
34:46 ...I have to be my own decision.
34:48 I have to...
34:50 I have to be the one who...
34:53 ...decide everything.
34:57 I can't.
34:58 I'm no longer in a position in my life...
35:01 ...that I will let people decide for me.
35:07 So, you were betrayed and lied to?
35:11 I was...
35:16 ...a bit humiliated.
35:19 With those experiences.
35:22 Which I cannot say the details but...
35:27 ...whatever concert I did with Aina Abdul...
35:32 ...comes with a price.
35:34 People saw my success with Aina Abdul.
35:37 1.0, 2.0, 3.0, Singaporean.
35:40 But it's actually bigger.
35:42 On the other hand...
35:44 Can you believe it?
35:47 People saw how hard I worked with Aina Abdul.
35:52 People bought tickets.
35:55 They spent a lot.
35:57 But it's...
35:59 Like I said, it comes with a price.
36:02 Those are the price that I have to bear.
36:05 The only happiness I got from a night with Aina Abdul is...
36:09 ...my fans.
36:11 That's all.
36:13 My fans are my strength.
36:17 But...
36:21 ...no more a night with Aina Abdul.
36:23 New name.
36:25 Different name.
36:27 But this year, I was like...
36:29 ...someone came to me.
36:31 A few people came to me.
36:33 They want to do a night with Aina Abdul.
36:35 4.0.
36:36 I said no.
36:38 I don't want it anymore.
36:39 And...
36:40 Sometimes people dictate the artist.
36:43 Because...
36:45 ...we know how to sing.
36:47 We know the art part.
36:50 But we don't know the business side.
36:51 So, people are like...
36:52 ...pushing us.
36:53 -Taking the opportunity. -Yes.
36:55 And when we don't have a firm team in front of us...
36:57 ...it's even more a problem.
36:59 So...
37:00 ...I hope this is also a message to all young singers out there...
37:05 ...who has a lot of passion in you.
37:09 All the young singers...
37:13 ...have to be prepared...
37:17 ...for the competition.
37:19 People want to...
37:22 ...take something from you.
37:24 It's okay.
37:25 We are...
37:26 That's why I do a night with Aina Abdul in the first place.
37:29 Because I want to be with my team.
37:32 I really want to...
37:34 We want to give each other opportunities.
37:36 Because when we started A Night With Aina Abdul...
37:39 ...it was during the PKP era.
37:42 So, we didn't have the opportunity.
37:45 The workload was very low.
37:47 And all my production team...
37:50 ...we scout from scratch.
37:53 We need to do a concert.
37:56 We need a stage team.
37:59 Let's go find a stage team.
38:01 We need a lighting team.
38:03 Let's find a lighting team.
38:04 We need a sound system.
38:06 Let's go with a sound system.
38:08 So, we scout everything from scratch.
38:10 And when we brought them in 1.0...
38:14 ...we thought that for 2.0...
38:17 ...I'm going to use the same team.
38:20 Because we already have the relationship.
38:22 Then, 2.0, 3.0...
38:25 But sometimes, it's only us who feel the togetherness.
38:31 That family bond.
38:33 We don't know people's intention.
38:35 So, that's my biggest lesson in 2023.
38:39 To actually pick the right people in my circle.
38:45 And I hope nobody comes for me after this podcast ad.
38:50 I hope nobody gets mad at me.
38:53 Because I'm only speaking my truth.
38:58 True.
39:00 Which nobody knows.
39:02 People only know what's being criticized.
39:05 But you feel it, right?
39:07 Yes.
39:08 But don't let that feeling kill you.
39:12 Don't let it kill me.
39:13 That's why...
39:14 ...my manager told me the other day...
39:20 ...he said...
39:22 ...after he spoke to someone about the deal and everything...
39:27 ...he said, "I want to remind you..."
39:30 "This is what we have to bear."
39:33 "This is what we have to..."
39:35 "Okay, we have to do this damage control now."
39:38 "But I just need to remind you that..."
39:41 "Don't let this kill your passion."
39:46 "Don't ever let these people kill your passion."
39:50 "Because of their..."
39:52 "Ketamakan diorang ke."
39:54 "I don't know how to put it in a word."
39:57 "Takut salah cakap, kan?"
39:58 But that's what my manager reminded me.
40:01 And he's right.
40:04 I will always do concerts.
40:09 But performing is my passion.
40:11 I just have to re-strategize everything.
40:16 I won't do it until I feel my team is not strong enough.
40:19 I told my team that day...
40:23 ...don't put hopes in anybody about concerts...
40:27 ...unless we are totally ready.
40:30 So you have to think about yourself, right?
40:34 That's right.
40:35 Until someone said, "On my behalf..."
40:39 I was shocked.
40:42 I heard this.
40:44 I don't know who said that but it was said to me.
40:48 People said, "If you do a concert with Aina, she won't get any money."
40:53 "She won't get anything."
40:55 "As long as she can sing."
40:57 And when I heard that...
41:00 I was like, "Huh?"
41:05 So what are we working for?
41:08 I was shocked by that.
41:12 I felt...
41:13 I was speechless.
41:18 When I heard that...
41:20 ...which is by this year.
41:22 I was speechless.
41:24 "Is that how people talk behind me?"
41:28 "We can't do anything because Aina wants this."
41:34 My name is always...
41:39 But it never comes from my mouth.
41:42 I've never said that.
41:45 So I was surprised.
41:50 1.0 is...
41:52 I think 1.0 or 2.0 is the happiest concert for me.
41:56 Even though I don't get anything from it.
41:58 But it's happy for me because I do it alone.
42:03 I do it by myself.
42:04 So whatever I release is my decision.
42:09 Even though I don't get anything.
42:11 But it's okay.
42:12 I'm happy to see my fans happy.
42:14 And that's the most important thing.
42:17 But after that, a lot of things happened.
42:20 Aina, if you had the chance to talk to those...
42:26 ...who are involved in your life.
42:30 To be judged, I guess.
42:32 It's very hard for you.
42:34 It's very bitter.
42:35 What would you like to say?
42:38 What should I say?
42:40 What should I say?
42:47 I don't know how to give a reply.
42:50 I don't wish anybody bad.
42:52 I don't want to pray for anyone.
42:56 Because I think we're all put and tested in this world...
43:05 ...because we never know we might need that test.
43:09 We need that test to make us more mature and educated.
43:15 So, I don't wish bad to all of them.
43:19 I hope that they can fulfill their passion...
43:26 ...to produce a concert or whatever they want to do.
43:34 To fulfill their dreams.
43:36 It's just that for me, I know my lesson already.
43:42 I know what I have to do.
43:44 - Seri? - Of course.
43:47 I feel like...
43:51 That's why sometimes when Aina does a concert...
43:59 ...the thing I look forward to the most is me being angry.
44:04 Because that's the most genuine thing about the whole day.
44:08 That connection with the fans.
44:11 There's no politics in that.
44:17 Between Aina and the fans.
44:22 That's it. That moment is very...
44:24 - Precious. - Precious for Aina.
44:26 So, to anybody that Aina has crossed paths with...
44:30 ...thank you for letting me work with you.
44:33 Thank you for teaching me a lesson which I will...
44:38 ...based on their advice...
44:42 ...I will take it and accept it and digest all this information...
44:49 ...and be a better person.
44:51 Who would have thought, Aina?
44:57 Aina Abdul, the concert that was a success.
45:01 Only Aina knows how painful it was.
45:07 Aina cried.
45:11 But towards the end, there's beauty in it.
45:14 Yes. I believe that.
45:16 Like Aina said, it's not easy to achieve success.
45:22 There will be many challenges and obstacles.
45:26 But when the challenge comes, of course it's replaced by something sweet.
45:30 And I hope this sweetness will continue in Aina's career.
45:34 In Aina's life.
45:35 Because we believe that Aina won't be here if her spirit is not there.
45:42 If her struggle is not there.
45:43 And Aina is here because of her spirit.
45:46 Her struggle.
45:47 And Aina's passion is what she wants to show to the fans...
45:53 ...who always love Aina Abdul.
45:56 I'm touched.
45:59 Especially to her mother, her family, and of course to her late father.
46:04 Father.
46:05 I hope that Aina's journey will be easier.
46:15 And what has been shared in our confession of Bilik Gelap...
46:19 ...will also be a lesson.
46:23 Or if it's not the biggest lesson in each of us...
46:27 ...we should learn something.
46:29 What we can take and what we need to keep away from.
46:33 And Aina has learned. Right, Aina?
46:36 Yes.
46:37 I believe that the experience I'm carrying is not in the book.
46:42 That's right.
46:45 But that's the thing.
46:46 What's not in the book is what we need to learn.
46:51 And we will remember it.
46:53 Sometimes what's in the book is...
46:57 Practical.
46:59 But all of that doesn't really shape us as...
47:08 ...as a figure.
47:15 But what's not in the book is the most painful thing for me.
47:20 But that's the most important thing.
47:22 Let the past be the past.
47:25 Keep living and never die of grief.
47:29 So, once again, thank you Aina for joining me in Bilik Gelap's confession.
47:33 Thank you, Abbas Hudi.
47:35 And we'll see you again in Bilik Gelap's confession.
47:37 Thank you.
47:38 [Music]