S02E06 2025 The Interstellar Song Contest
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00:00I'm going to
00:30All right, babe, what's the year 2925 venue how many arena teeth?
00:37Dazzling
01:00Good evening
01:20All we need is two minutes get this vindicator aligned we can get you back to us
01:31All right
01:42Welcome to the 803rd interstellar
02:00You
02:02You
02:27Right everyone here we go bit of focus, please
02:32Music fade out steady on 26
02:35SOP BT 1 15 give me audience reaction find some faces when are we ready on pre-record 5?
02:41I'll kid up in standing by graphics. Get ready with the voting links
02:45Rylan give me some or
02:49No or AWE
02:53Folks it is awesome the
02:58Live across the entire
03:00Western Galactic on an audience of three trillion life-forms to find one way enough
03:27It's so good
03:31Oh
03:33Poppy honey the galaxy's favorite we were worried about nothing. This proves that the earth survived
03:38Oh in style, I was there in 74 when ABBA one Olivia Newton John came forth
03:46absolute scenes
03:49I've watched with my mom and dad when I was little best night of the year
03:54They'd let me stay up late for voting as long as I brush my teeth and got into my pajamas
04:01Look at me now
04:03It's such a beautiful night
04:07Where are we less taking place that is not night that is space the Harmony Arena is a space station. Do you see?
04:18We're inside a bubble on a station in orbit the universe is wild
04:25I
04:31Knew it. I knew that you would enjoy it finally being with me
04:44Indicator ready and prime
04:50Thank you doctor, that's the final link
04:55No rush, I love a good show
05:01I wonder if he's worried. Yeah, it's too late now. They've missed it
05:11They're sitting in that seat
05:13Look, those two people are sitting in seats that absolutely positively definitely belong to us
05:19None of this would have happened if you just turned up on time. I said, I'm sorry. It's more than that Mike
05:23You don't take anything I do seriously. It's hardly important Gary. It's just songs
05:28I'm not even gonna dignify that with the risk actually know what I will because it is not just songs at Mike
05:33It's part of who I am and when you make fun of it, it's like you're making fun of me
05:36I don't know guys. It's like we're going around in circles. You know, sometimes I think we should
05:41How many times why won't you do something this is my ticket card mine now, would you do your job and get those people out, please?
05:49face one activated
05:53I
05:56Have style
05:57What am I supposed to do now? What does he mean face one?
06:03Okay, drones keep it quiet, thank you, what's face one?
06:11I'm face one
06:13Hi, who the hell are you?
06:16Hell yeah
06:17That's my species and my name is kid. We're in the middle of transmission drones get him out. I have drunk control
06:25Everyone
06:38Oh, hello, I see hot favorite
06:48Honestly, it's such an honor to be here. I mean one night. I can't wait to sing
06:53Northwest seven bulkhead five and keep them guarded
06:57Although it's a shame. They're gonna miss the show
07:07Miss me no idea. It's time gorgeous phase two
07:13I
07:15Win whatever you're doing stop. I took a chance on you. No one employs hellions, but I did how benevolent of you, baby
07:23Hit the back up
07:29That's the dress rehearsal broadcasting across the galaxy and no one's gonna know the difference
07:35Well, that's where you're wrong Ryland wasn't at the dress. He was still in deep freeze
07:40We're ready for that
07:43Publicity comms can say he got food poisoning
07:46Tell him he ate something nasty
08:09Oh
08:23That's correct, we're just rewriting it's nothing to worry about Adam what about 30 seconds to be realized anything is wrong, it's all I need
08:35Thank You BT
08:40Anyone
08:42Fine let's start the show
08:47It's Liz Lizardine from the planet Liz Oco with her song, I love you, but my heart says no
08:53Oh
09:08Safety protocols
09:11But you can't do that
09:17Anyone are you there? What's this amateur hour? I love my name is kid. I'm a big fan. It's kid
09:23This is the greatest song contest in the universe. So as you would say, let's raise the room
09:29I love you, but my heart
09:38Properly I think that there might be
09:40Ah
09:57Part of the show
10:11Oh
10:20Do you know my favorite kind of music
10:40Oh
11:10Oh
11:31No again
11:41Doctor
11:55The dress rehearsal is still broadcasting
12:00The arena is purged
12:03I'm closing the shield to maintain integrity
12:07Monsters, that's what people have said to me my whole life
12:19Only doing the things you expect of me
12:23You
12:30Moving to phase three final phase touch the device
12:42Device to the gallery. Listen to me. They're not dead. The maverick shell is still on. It's not too late
12:48You could still save those people
12:53Oh
13:00What is it it's called a Delta wave it's phase three
13:11Best
13:13Oh
13:23My god
13:24What do we do? What the hell happened? No idea. Oh, we're locked in. Don't worry
13:29I started off in a tech squad. I can open this I can just trip the code switch
13:34My friend my friend went up through the roof is there some sort of air bubble or something
13:41Can't we call for rescue other emergency services, they've got to exist we can't call
13:48We're in closed down, what does that mean gambling rules?
13:53If people could transmit from here
13:55They could hyper stream a bet to the other side of the galaxy before the results get there. So all signals are blocked and closed
14:02No one knows
14:04No one's doing anything there. There's no police or until the show ends
14:12And now from the planet
14:21That's the dress rehearsal must be playing on automatic
14:26We can't just
14:29How do we oh
14:32My god
14:34I've got no way out
14:36My mom and dad was just sit there waiting like
14:40Forever. I don't even know where I am. You're on the Harmony station
14:45Where's that sector diamond five? But where's that? Mr. Van Gogh sit down?
14:51I'm stuck here. Oh my oh
14:56Hey, you're alive
14:59You're alive
15:02What's your name
15:07Belinda nice name Belinda. I'm Cora. Hi Cora
15:14Sorry, I'm just
15:23He was so wonderful
15:27And I never got to tell
15:30This is weird
15:32I'm tapping into the computer core, but it's being overridden. It's something new like the software's rewriting everything
15:41But what for
15:46Seeking software and calibrating
15:52You can still help those people I saw you save that contestant don't say a word that was the girl from try on
15:59Shut it
16:02We're doing this for hell. Yeah, those people can't be saved
16:32Oh
16:43What are you doing
16:53Not seriously gonna use a confetti cannon to fly through space
17:02Yeah
17:23Gary medical get on the wall break this deal and bring it to me
17:27Oh
17:30My name is Mike Michael
17:37Amazing two hearts you show the spiritual bypass system very clever
17:43Amazing little creature you're gonna be okay. Hold on. Never seen you at work
17:48Good because that would mean you're very ill
17:51Now this my heart
17:57Oh
18:04Did I just fly through space on a confetti cannon, yeah
18:16I was frozen. You were lucky should see how that's carnage must be a hundred thousand dead. No, no, not dead
18:22I'm sorry, but look at it. Look at me. I survived you were lucky man. I was clever Mike
18:27Did you say Mike mine and your name?
18:28Yeah, I was clever making Gary because maverick tea is holding about triplicate the maverick TV. All those people are still alive
18:36So they're not just floating there in maverick suspension a state of preservation, but it's freezing it exactly exactly
18:43That helps us. I've seen it happen. It's like when a body is plunged into freezing water life signs get suspended, but they can't be revived
18:50Belinda
18:52Belinda's out there
18:54frozen
18:55And it's hardest is gone. Oh, what do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? That's a hundred thousand people
19:02Frozen and suspended in space to reach them catch them and revive every single one of them
19:08You'd need to be some sort of insane genius
19:12Hello, I'm the doctor
19:18We should be ready to broadcast during some 14
19:22which is
19:23Coruscant bevier
19:25She her best voice best act
19:28best song
19:30dearly departed Coruscant bevier
19:34It's going to blow their minds
19:43If I can tap into the helium core that maybe I can't know
19:47No, that didn't work. Oh, I'm soft
19:52This is his hellions grip what you were the hellions from the planet Helium my mom and dad used to vacation there
19:56All those fields of hell poppy as far as the eye could see said it was stunning
20:00Yeah, it's all ruined now totally destroyed. They say the hellions did it to themselves. I
20:06Wonder what they're up to
20:16I
20:46Oh
21:05Yeah alive yeah, yeah just about I
21:10I love you. Oh time in a place boys. That was a primitive Delta
21:16We've aimed at the temporal lobe of the brain. How many people are watching the song contest?
21:20Three trillion if they root that signal through the station and transmit it will kill every single person watching
21:30They're gonna kill them all
21:32I
21:38Got it. It's the hellions
21:40They did this what hellions weird lot. They say they practice cannibalism and witchcraft
21:46They've got these horns people say they give them psychic powers. Yeah, people say that a lot
21:53About species they don't understand
21:55If
21:59I'm going to fight that signal. I'm gonna need a caustic hyperlink. I've got it. There's a tech desk over here. I can access
22:15Hyperlinks dazzle filters retroscope beeline blockers, you know your stuff. That's my boy
22:20Oh
22:22Where's this place a museum the history of the entire contest or as I like to call it paradise
22:30That's how I got the posh seats. I worked on the song contest tech design. I was in charge of the hologram archive
22:38Welcome visitors. Hello wishing I'd saw my likeness in perpetuity, but here we are
22:43No way I
22:46Met him a bright and pride. What a weekend. I'm Graham Norton long since dead sad face
22:53But from humble beginnings on planet Earth the interstellar song contest now spans the entire universe
23:05You okay
23:08Linda would have loved this
23:11Is that your friend I'm her protector
23:17That's where that I'd get over
23:21Keep thinking
23:31Stop good good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Have you found that hyperlink? Oh
23:40Oh
23:49Someone's interfering with my systems. I
23:56Recommend you stop that right now, sweetheart
24:04Is that the doctor
24:08Representing revenge against the corporation
24:10My name is you represent the doctor the last of the time Lords
24:21Good name for a band
24:28You did all of it
24:30And now you're threatening three trillion people
24:34Except I am here
24:36Telling you
24:37No, if you come anywhere near the gallery, I'll purge the airlocks and clear the whole station and you know, I'll do I
24:46Will survive and I will find you and you can run and hide and whimper all you like
24:53But I will find you because you are put ice in my heart darling
24:57You put it there
24:58So I will cast your body out into the void and I will stand and watch you freeze
25:06to death
25:10That's not him the Delta wave is at 95% you need to enter the final collaboration
25:23Thank you for your empty threats this conversation is over
25:27I
25:29Don't gods he's in the museum find an execute immediately
25:39All right, do you know them?
25:45She's called when
25:47He's called kid
25:49as in baby goat
25:54As in his mother was shot
25:57Before anyone asked her his name. How'd you know so much about Hellions Cora?
26:06Because
26:09I'm one of them
26:27I
26:31Couldn't tell you we're not allowed to sing. I treated like a scum right across the galaxy
26:43What happened how did you
26:48I'm sorry. I don't know how to ask
26:52Did you cut your hands off yourself
26:57Is it by choice
27:00By force
27:03Really it was the most harmless world in the sky
27:07And the corporation bought the entire planet
27:10Including its population for one reason
27:14to harvest the help
27:17Is that like drugs
27:22It's about
27:28Copy honey
27:31I'm sorry. Your planet was invaded. It's a honey
27:38My planet was invaded by honey flavor
27:42They took the seeds and burnt the field so we could never grow back
27:47So kid blames the corporation and the corporation sponsors the contest
27:52He's out to get revenge and that includes every single viewer
27:58You know him
28:01Do you think you could stop him
28:04They might listen to me
28:07Then you understand the door systems. Maybe I'm not
28:11Helping you and help everyone else
28:14Then that gallery is seven floors above us. If you can get the elevators working then maybe I could talk to them
28:20I want to get there too
28:23Because that's where the doctor will be heading
28:26I've never seen him like this before and trust me if he's angry this whole world is going to shake
28:37To do is trip that switch folder over and kink that together till it becomes a single conduit
28:43Doctor once I've done that if I flip the whole system back doctor once it is for you back. I can employ a micro stitch
28:55This brought into fully energized hyperlink now, if only I had an expert in triangulation
29:04That's me sir, I invented the triangulation system
29:19And counting down
29:22song 40
29:24Get ready to transmit a Delta wave
29:35All those years working on that song and you lied to me Cora I'm telling you I get this done
29:48When the device hits a hundred the corporation will be remembered for a massacre
29:55I
30:10Tell you to stop
30:15You really should stop
30:18Oh
30:19Why are you regretting?
30:22Because I have met so many versions of you kid and revenge is just an excuse
30:28Because you're cold filthy heart just likes to kill
30:39If you insist
30:48It's a fake
31:04See the thing about holograms is
31:06the kind of soft
31:08and if is
31:09And they crackle and they're kind of no use unless you're me and you convert them into hard light in which case
31:18All the ground can hurt
31:20Oh
31:42How many people did you want to kill three trillion how about we try this three trillion times
31:50Oh
32:20Oh
32:50Oh
32:54God override
33:00After all these years, I won't apologize
33:04This cannot be the gentle kid sister. I loved so much you abandoned me
33:10Left me there to rot. So we had to do it
33:15We had to tell the galaxy about the corporation
33:18And what have you ever done Cora except hide
33:27Get them out of here shuttle them to the justice monolith
33:34See you again, I'll be ready
33:42Believe me that I saw you put in my heart. I think it's still there
33:48I think I'll be there forever now
33:52So you take care
33:54You
34:11But what do we do it still isn't over there's still a hundred thousand people out there trapped in that mavity thing
34:24Oh
34:34Do you see all those people were frozen in the mavity show perfectly suspended in space
34:46Experts who could fashion hard light into a tractor beam. Can you do that Gary?
34:53I'll do anything for you Gary
35:10Got him
35:15I
35:16Had medical staff that could turn Reiner's cryogenic chamber into a revival booth. What do you say Mike?
35:22I'll do anything for you back in the queue
35:27My pressure balanced phonics is level minus one and
35:47I'm sorry. Mr. Clark. My name is Belinda. I'm a nurse. Don't worry. You're fine. We're just gonna go check you out. Okay?
35:54Okay, wait, what happened? Oh
35:57You came back from the dead sums up my career
36:04Amazing amazing now, can you do that 100,000 times?
36:16I
36:33Had someone very clever to turn this VIP pod into a revival booth
36:46Oh
37:03Gentlemen others
37:17Is the spirit of the song contest it's not about the winning no, but it is the joy of each other
37:25Come on, right into your stuff. Now. The actual contest is a little bit null and void what with us nearly dying
37:33But there is one song one song we want you all to hear right across the galaxy
37:41With all three trillion of you watching I give to you Cora
37:46Simba
38:01This is a song
38:03The corporation tried to hide
38:07The song of my home planet
38:10Helium
38:16To remind us of the world that we lost to remember a civilization the corporation destroyed
38:25Its beauty
38:29Its history
38:33It's so
38:40I
38:46Slow yeah, I throw stars and sun
38:54Yes
39:05No
39:10Die
39:15Steve
39:31She
39:45Oh
40:15You
40:45I
41:16Oh
41:23There you go, they found on the asteroids, but it's a tough old thing
41:30Thank you, I
41:32Bet get back. It's a lot of accident forms to fill in
41:36Take Anna
41:38See
41:44And the results from Belinda say
41:49Deuce point doctor. I thought it was my waterloo turns out it was my
42:00Don't think I've ever told you you're wonderful
42:08You
42:12Still
42:16Never really know what you're thinking
42:20He scared me
42:23The scared myself
42:27The death of three trillion people triggered me anything about planning
42:33Because they all died a single second
42:38every last time
42:42I call this image
42:52Okay, I need to get you home
42:58Ha ha ha
43:00If I disappear for much longer, they're gonna make a podcast
43:05and besides
43:07There is a very tasty chef on hinge. He's gonna think I ghosted him
43:12So fire up that vindicator and get me back to planet Earth
43:15Planet Earth age-old home of the human race. Also dogs cats parrots polar bears and measles. Oh my god. It's great
43:24Poor old earth died many years ago
43:28Hologram explain the history book say the planet ended on the old earth date May the 24th 2025
43:36And it's ended how?
43:39It is said the planet disintegrated into rock and dust and ashes
43:43All the memories here were sieved from the rubble of a civilization that died in a single second
43:50cause
43:52on no
43:58I
44:04Was the day that I left how can the whole world be dead?
44:11Readings on the Vindicator this thing is working bill. I am NOT just gonna take you home. I am gonna save your home
44:19Here we go
44:28Oh
44:58Here we go, this is the last one
45:09Quite a few with some side effects get you to a sick bay. Has he gone? My name is Mike and I'm a nurse
45:14I said is he gone the doctor
45:19Yeah, he's gone we look for him he's just disappeared then it's safe
45:25I'm afraid my double brain stem froze
45:30Lethal for a time lady, but I've got my own knack for survival
45:36Suppose I should think of some famous last words
45:40How about?
45:44Let's battle
45:46Oh
45:50Must we help in a gun? Oh, I'm ever so sorry, ma'am
45:58They never told me that's a message school
46:05We by generated
46:08evidently
46:09How did you?
46:11About the same person
46:13Unfortunately, yes, our name is the wrong
46:17Although she's become a Ron
46:20while I'm
46:22the Iran
46:24The definite article so to speak now, have you got the Vindicator readings? Yeah, ma'am. Sorry, ma'am
46:34Then come with me mrs.
46:36Out of the way boys because I have a date to arrange
46:40That's for the doctor. I will bring him absolute terror. That's what I said
47:05You