eastenders 23 april 2025-n
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TVTranscript
00:00I've... I've checked upstairs and he... he ain't here.
00:16Did he say anything else in the letter?
00:21It's just that, er...
00:24It's just that he don't want to be a burden.
00:27Listen, I've got to...
00:29I've got to find him, all right? I've got to find him.
00:46Please...
00:48Please...
00:49Please don't... don't hurt me again.
00:52Please.
00:57You, er...
01:01See Nigel?
01:02Earlier, yes.
01:03No, no, recently now. Last hour or so.
01:05Oh, what? Has something else happened?
01:07No, no, er...
01:09I just thought he might come in here. I know that he talks to you.
01:12Yes, it does.
01:16When we spoke earlier, he was still shaken by what happened at the egg hunt.
01:20He told me that everything was in hand, but I'm not sure I believe him.
01:24And I'm not sure I believe you right now.
01:27He's, er...
01:29He's been planning on taking his own life.
01:37Okay.
01:39You don't seem that surprised.
01:42Well, the way he was talking gave me cause of concern, even though he was trying to convince me that he is fine.
01:49Yeah, well, he ain't. And now he's got missing.
01:53Alright, I don't come with you.
01:55What are you doing?
01:56I'm coming. We need to look for him.
01:57No, no, no, please. Just stay here, yeah?
01:59He might... he might walk past, see the light, and then come in here.
02:01So, please, just... just stay here.
02:03And let me know if he does, yeah?
02:05Alright.
02:06Cheers.
02:07Phil! Phil!
02:18Oh!
02:19I was talking to, er, Nigel earlier, and, er, he said that he was worried that he was becoming a burden.
02:24He had a gold act, but, er, did he say anything about going out tonight?
02:27No. Why?
02:30Later.
02:33I think you should look after him better, Phil.
02:36Just saying.
02:38Phil?
02:42Have you tried calling?
02:43Yeah, of course I tried calling, but there's no answer.
02:45He's...
02:47Maybe he's done talking.
02:50You don't have to go in there, alright? I'll do it.
02:52No, no, no, no.
02:53If he's in there, this is on me.
02:56You don't have to do this or it's going to set you back.
02:59It won't.
03:06You don't have to go in there.
03:07Okay.
03:08Good.
03:09Okay.
03:10Good.
03:11Good.
03:12Good.
03:13Good.
03:14You're welcome.
03:15Go ahead!
03:16Good.
03:17Good.
03:18Good.
03:19Good.
03:20Good.
03:21Good.
03:23Good.
03:24Good.
03:25Good.
03:26Good.
03:27Good.
03:28Yeah.
03:29it's hot now
03:40we find him
03:45we find him and we make sure he's on top of the
03:49you know that night that he called the mental health
03:55well i was angry you know i was angry but he did the hard thing
04:04he was trying to he was trying to look after me i understand that now
04:08now i'm gonna do the same for him
04:12i'm gonna do the hard thing do what get him sectioned he's a danger
04:19to himself the same as i was it's not the same though it's not the same
04:23it's all he wants to kill himself he wants to die just like i did
04:29no finding finding this note coming in is
04:34it's probably all right you know what i what i brought you all forever
04:41i am sorry sorry
04:44i really thought i was going to find him there you know i thought i thought i was going to walk
05:03through that door and i was going to see him laying there i thought i was going to see him laying there
05:08it is like i saw
05:25hello speaking
05:28it's the hospital is is he okay
05:35that's such good news yeah we've been really worried
05:39i found him he's safe
05:40phil
05:51thank god
05:53we were worried sick
05:56what happened
05:57there's someone here
05:59i fell
05:59well that's not what the nurse out there said
06:02no she said the person who found you thought you'd been mugged
06:05i fell
06:07so whatever happened there right it should have been me they called not linda
06:11i washed my hands of you
06:14my memory ain't what it was but
06:16i remember that
06:18listen you
06:19you're angry with me and i don't blame you
06:21stop
06:22have they uh have they said how long you need to be in here
06:28uh well i think i might have a
06:32what's it called when you get a bang on the head
06:34a concussion yeah
06:38i won't let me leave on my own because of that
06:40good because if they did it you just wander off on your own again wouldn't you
06:45he's just worried he um he told me what he said to you
06:58he was angry at the thought of you hurting yourself
07:06because he won't say this because he don't know how
07:10but he really cares about you
07:15do you mind leaving me now i need to get dressed
07:29listen to me i know what i'm talking about all right this man is a danger to himself
07:33phil can i have a word yeah in a minute now
07:36wait what are you playing at hey stopping you from making a mistake
07:39it's going to stand by and letting another person hurt themselves
07:43but trying to get him sectioned is not the answer
07:47and what happened to peggy to you and what's happening to nigel now
07:52and it's all got sort of jumbled up in your head like it's part of the same story and it's not
07:56he told me he wants to kill himself no phil what he wants is not to get worse
08:05you know shirley's mom sylvie when when she was at her worst near the end
08:10i promised myself that if that was me i would not let it come to that so i understand you know i may
08:17not like it but i do get it he's he's not depressed and in despair like you were he is not an alcoholic
08:26like me what he's got you can't recover from
08:34he is in despair all right and he's frightened what what am i supposed to do just throw my arms
08:40up in here walk away and and let him end it all no no look i don't know just talk to him it's his life
09:00so i'm sorry you know for what i said before at the house i suppose you scared me
09:16so where was you headed tonight uh well after talking to gene i got worried and um
09:25i made arrangements to rent a little park home near the coast coast you're talking about where
09:34we're on the coast ken um i forget can't remember the town i've written it down somewhere that was
09:41always the plan as soon as i felt i was becoming a burden i'd go live out the rest of my days in a
09:51place by the sea probably should have done it sooner but i'd hope that
10:02being in a familiar place with familiar faces might bring back the good times
10:11might even slow down the symptoms and i thought i was doing some good
10:17you were you were you were but what what you said you know and you know about being a burden you
10:29you ain't a burden to me so come home yeah we can we can take it day by day
10:35i'm um what you said at the arches about you needing mabel it's only the half of it
10:53how are you feeling yeah yeah better thank you well the doctor said you can be discharged as long
10:58as you've someone with you to keep an eye on you is that the case yeah yeah yeah um
11:05i'm going back home in here good will i leave you to get your things together thank you sorry
11:12you see all this stuff in the news about brain injuries and dementia i just wondered you know
11:19could a knock to the head make the condition worse you'd have to speak to a specialist but
11:24i can't think it will have helped
11:37this tap i'm gonna have to i'm gonna have to get the power around it
11:46you uh you fancy a cover oh cheers yeah right
11:50who's that g
11:58listen that uh that video you made i know why you made it well now it's all out in the open
12:02we can talk about it you don't need it anymore so you might as well delete it might you
12:05yeah yeah yeah right i'll delete it
12:13now i'm still master of my own i said i'll delete it and i'll delete it in my own time
12:21back in a minute
12:27do you go
12:29jean brought this round she wants it back what now it's what she says
12:33well i'll drop it back you need you need the rest yeah i'll make the tea when i get back
12:50so if you can't answer uh if you get if you file the test then uh you've got to take action
13:03while she still came no ifs no buts fail this test and you have to kill yourself old pal
13:20what is it what's happened uh nothing uh well i didn't want to say anything earlier on but uh
13:27nigel went missing oh and you found him yeah yeah yeah he's fine now
13:32well you're right yeah i've got to take better care of him anyway here you go oh i gave him that
13:41as a present what you said you uh said you wanted it back how would he say that
13:46oh maybe he's confused there's been a lot of that lately thanks
13:56question five in smokey and a bandit the dog in smokey and a bandit especially chosen
14:04by burt reynolds what's his name or her name
14:16what's your game hey you should never ask for this i'm sorry you're trying to get rid of me or
14:42something hey you deleted that video yet nigel i don't understand all right i thought we agreed
14:51you don't need it anymore you know that things are going to get better now
14:56they can't that's what you don't seem to understand things are going to get bad
15:03and much quicker than i thought where are you going where are you going
15:06i told you the sea the house you don't need to go there anymore nigel you don't need to go there
15:13anymore all right it's locked have you got the key i've locked it
15:23nigel i've locked i've locked that one another you can't keep me prisoner i'm not keeping you
15:27prisoner i'm trying to keep you safe no you're doing what i'm most scared of taking away my decisions
15:36phil please it's time you have to let me go go where go where some crappy little caravan hey
15:45it's a park home this is your own knowledge this this is your own there's nothing you can do there
15:51that you can't do here it'd be worse there you'd be you'd be alone wouldn't you
15:55you know you need a place to spend the days you've got left this this is it
15:59what i think we're a bit past the cloak and deck of stage have we if you've got anything to say
16:09you can tell me i'm i'm your mate and i i failed
16:19the um cognitive test i made for myself i failed i failed it just now
16:25it's just so they don't mean nothing means everything it's just some stupid question
16:31questions that i rely on that i promised myself i'd act on before it's too late
16:37you have to let me go listen you're stressed all right you don't know apples from oranges right now
16:40you're just taking a massive blow to the head yes which has speeded everything up like that nurse
16:46said no she never said that something's changed nothing changes that quickly nigel all right now
16:53and just park yourself up because you ain't going anywhere until you see sense
16:58i am seeing sense that's the whole point but in a week a month i might not remember i i might not
17:07even care then what does it matter hey what's it matter because i care now
17:14and i want this nigel to make the decisions this me
17:27have you even ever thought what my life could be like when this disease takes hold
17:45it's not it's not just a case of having a dodgy memory it's um
17:48it's just not been able to walk or wash myself or even right now i'm backside
17:57sitting in some home being fed like a child by someone i don't even know
18:07i don't want to die like that
18:09i want to be me right to the end
18:20now do you understand
18:31phil
18:35phil
18:39you should uh you should call julie tell her what you're planning because that's
18:48that's the least you can do
18:54no i i i don't want that for her i didn't want this for you
18:58never want that to be a burden
19:01weren't you listening back at the hospital right you ain't a burden all right
19:05you never were you never could be because because you you saved me
19:11oh anyone would have done what i did that night no not that night
19:15not just there here in this house every day since i left the unit you
19:21you saved me night
19:24fred
19:24i was about to do it i would have i would have done it oh my god
19:46a while ago i i spent the best part of the year thinking i was 59 actually i was
19:58i was 58. no dementia or no dementia we all we all forget things we all make mistakes
20:04doesn't change things really this uh this disease is gonna beat me in the end
20:12nige nige we all get beaten in the end
20:16you know you you're worried about your your future
20:21but the future that you imagine it it don't have to go down like that
20:25no i will do everything i can to to change things so that you feel like that you're in control yeah
20:35and if you know when the time comes for you to move on you don't have to live in some
20:41little shoe box you know there's places you can go good good places full of good
20:47people kind respecting caring people that will look after you just
20:55just think about it yeah
21:25i'll have a couple of cheese and have toasted
21:29oh i saw you as i was leaving the locker did you find him yeah
21:34how is he well he's uh he's safe at least but i think the rest is going to take time
21:41he's lucky to have a friend like you i don't know about that
21:45well he's just about having a mistake in the book today but uh well i think we might turn the corner
21:50so what next he don't like the look of what's coming down the line i can't say i blame him
21:55but sir well i'm gonna look into some care homes try and find the best one i can
22:00and what is wrong with the home that he is in right now
22:05greater love has no one than this
22:09to lay down one's life for one's friends
22:11it's obvious that you care very much about him and it strikes me that nigel is already exactly where
22:20he should be
22:50it's so yeah it's it's me phil it's
23:01so yeah it's me phil it's it's i don't even know what time it is where you are
23:23uh jess listen i've had i've had this idea and i need you to tell me whether it's a
23:31whether it's a stupid idea or not
23:39all right hi there all right
23:40sir ham and cheese simple functions yeah i've uh
23:53i've been thinking you know uh
23:57about how we could make this work please phil enough talk
24:03listen if i don't say this now then i'll never say it all right so just just just hear me out
24:09i don't know how much time you've got left you know none of us know that do we but what time
24:17you have got you know don't have to don't have to be like you said you know people looking after
24:21you that don't know you stay here and i want to look after you you're offering to be my carer
24:33yeah yeah i suppose i am
24:40what
24:43i don't know i'm um surprised and i'm touched
24:51but i can't let you do that even if it were possible well it is possible just spoke with
24:55sonia she said as long as we get some support when we we could do it i don't want you to do that
25:00yeah because you don't want to be a burden and i i understand that but you ain't a burden all right
25:07you know
25:10we've
25:10we've talked before haven't we about you know what led me to the arches at night and
25:20well you know i've always i've always had a purpose in life whether it was sticking the
25:26finger up to my old man or making money looking after my mum looking after family i've i've always
25:31had a purpose but i ain't got them things anymore i have i have got you
25:37now here you you'll be safe you'll be looked after and maybe you'll be treated with dignity i promise you
25:50you have no idea how bad it could get
25:55oh whatever comes you know we'll prepare for it we'll deal with it together
26:00and you know on the plus side you get to eat a few more cheese and ham toasties
26:11this this ain't about me saving you this is about saving both of us and you
26:19you commit to staying here i will commit to looking after you all right till the end
26:30till the end
26:37that's good
26:40that's good
26:45here you go
26:49thanks