EastEnders 23rd April 2025
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TVTranscript
00:00MUSIC
00:26I've, er...
00:27I've checked upstairs, innit, here.
00:29You...
00:30You in here?
00:31Well, did he say anything else in the letter?
00:36It's just that, er...
00:39It's just that he don't want to be a burden.
00:42Listen, I've got to...
00:44I've got to find him, all right? I've got to find him.
00:59Please.
01:02Please.
01:03Please.
01:04Please, don't...
01:05Don't hurt me again.
01:06Please.
01:14You, er...
01:16Have you seen Nigel?
01:17Earlier, yes.
01:18No, no, recently now.
01:19Last hour or so.
01:20Oh, what?
01:21Has something else happened?
01:22No, no, er...
01:24I just thought he might come in here.
01:25I know that he talks to you.
01:27Yes, he does.
01:28Mmm.
01:29When we spoke earlier, he was still shaken by what happened at the egg hunt.
01:35He told me that everything was in hand, but I'm not sure I believe him.
01:38And I'm not sure I believe you right now.
01:45He's, er...
01:48He's been planning on taking his own life.
01:53Okay.
01:55You don't seem that surprised.
01:57Well, the way he was talking gave me cause of concern.
02:01Even though he was trying to convince me that he is fine.
02:04Yeah, well, he ain't.
02:06And now he's got missing.
02:08All right, I don't come, would you?
02:09What are you doing?
02:10I'm coming.
02:11We need to look for him.
02:12No, no, no, please.
02:13Just stay here, yeah?
02:14He might...
02:15He might walk past, see the light, and then come in here.
02:16So, please, just...
02:17Just stay here.
02:18And let me know if he does, yeah?
02:19All right.
02:20Cheers.
02:31Bill!
02:33Bill!
02:34I was talking to, er, Nigel earlier, and, er, he said that he was worried that he was becoming a burden.
02:39Yeah, I got all that, but, er, did he say anything about going out tomorrow?
02:42No.
02:43Why?
02:45Later.
02:48I think you should look after him better, Phil.
02:51Just saying.
02:53Phil.
02:54Have you tried calling?
02:55Yeah, of course I tried calling, but there's no answer.
02:59He's...
03:01Maybe he's done talking.
03:04You don't have to go in there, all right?
03:06I'll do it.
03:07No, no, no, no.
03:08If he's in there, this is on me.
03:11You don't have to do this or it's going to set you back.
03:13It will.
03:14I'll do it.
03:15I don't want to set you back.
03:16It will.
03:17Oh, my God.
03:47It's hot now.
03:58We find him.
04:01We find him and we make sure he's on top.
04:06You know, that night that he called the mental health people, I was...
04:11Well, I was angry.
04:13I was angry.
04:14He did the hard thing.
04:17Well, he was trying to look after me.
04:21I understand that.
04:23Now I'm going to do the same for him.
04:27I'm going to do the hard thing.
04:29Do what?
04:31Get him sexually?
04:32He's a danger to himself, the same as I was.
04:36It's not the same, Paul.
04:37It's not the same at all.
04:38He wants to kill himself.
04:39He wants to die.
04:40Just like I did.
04:44No, finding...
04:45Finding his note coming in here is...
04:47It's probably all up, you know, what I...
04:51What I brought you up for a long time.
04:56I am sorry.
04:58Sorry.
05:02Just careful.
05:03I really thought I was going to find him there, you know.
05:16I thought...
05:16I thought I was going to walk through that door and I was going to see him lay in there.
05:21I thought I was going to see him lay in there just like I saw...
05:24Hello.
05:42Speaking.
05:45It's the hospital.
05:47Is he okay?
05:50That's such good news.
05:51Yeah, we've been really worried.
05:52I found him.
05:54He's safe.
05:55Phil.
06:06Thank God.
06:08We were worried sick.
06:11What happened?
06:12There's someone at you.
06:13Phil.
06:15Well, that's not what the nurse out there said.
06:17She said the person who found you thought you'd been mugged.
06:20I fell.
06:21So, whatever happened there, right?
06:23It should have been me they called, not Linda.
06:26I washed my hands of you.
06:29My memory ain't what it was, but...
06:31I remember that.
06:33Listen, you...
06:33You're angry with me and I don't blame you.
06:36Stop.
06:39Have they said how long you need to be in here?
06:42Er, well, I think I might have a...
06:46What's it called when you get a bang on the head?
06:48A concussion?
06:49A concussion, yeah.
06:51And, um...
06:53They won't let me leave on my own because of that.
06:55Good.
06:56Because if they did, you'd just wander off on your own again, wouldn't you?
06:59He's just worried.
07:08He, um...
07:09He told me what he said to you.
07:12He was angry...
07:15...at the thought of you hurting yourself.
07:17He won't say this because he don't know how.
07:24But he really cares about you.
07:32Do you mind leaving me now?
07:34I need to get dressed.
07:35Listen to me, I know what I'm talking about, all right?
07:45This man is a danger to himself.
07:47Phil, can I have a word?
07:48Yeah, in a minute.
07:49Now.
07:50Wait.
07:51What are you playing at, eh?
07:52Stopping you from making a mistake.
07:54Yes, I'm not standing by and letting another person hurt themselves.
07:58But trying to get him sectioned is not the answer.
08:00Sir, what happened to Peggy, to you, and what's happening to Nigel now,
08:07and it's all got sort of jumbled up in your head like it's part of the same story, and it's not.
08:11He told me he wants to kill himself.
08:14No, Phil.
08:15What he wants is not to get worse.
08:20You know, Shirley's mum, Sylvie, when she was at her worst near the end,
08:25I promised myself that if that was me, I would not let it come to that.
08:30So I understand.
08:32You know, I may not like it, but I do get it.
08:36He's not depressed and in despair like you were.
08:39He is not an alcoholic like me.
08:42What he's got, you can't recover from.
08:49He is in despair, all right?
08:52And he's frightened.
08:53What am I supposed to do?
08:54Just throw my arms up in here and walk away and let him end it all?
08:58No.
08:59No, look, I don't know.
09:02Just talk to him.
09:05It's his life.
09:06I'm sorry for what I said before at the house.
09:26I suppose you scared me.
09:27So, where was you headed tonight?
09:34Er, well, after talking to Jean, I got worried and, um, I made arrangements to rent a little park home near the coast.
09:47Coast?
09:48You're talking about where on the coast?
09:49Kent.
09:50Um, I forget, I can't remember the town.
09:53I've written it down somewhere.
09:55That was always the plan.
09:59Soon as I felt I was becoming a burden, I'd go.
10:03I'd live out the rest of my days and, uh, peace by the sea.
10:10Probably should have done it sooner, but I'd hope that being in a familiar place with familiar faces might bring back the good times.
10:25Might even slow down the symptoms.
10:27And I thought I was doing some good.
10:33You were.
10:34You were.
10:38But what, what you said, you know, in your note about being a burden, you, you ain't a burden to me.
10:46So come home, yeah?
10:47We can, we can take it day by day.
10:50Um, um, what you said at the arches, about you needing me, well, there's only the half of it.
11:08How are you feeling?
11:09Yeah, yeah, better, thank you.
11:11Well, the doctor said you can be discharged as long as you've someone with you to keep an eye on you.
11:15Is that the case?
11:17Yeah, yeah, yeah.
11:18Um, I'm going back home in here.
11:22Good.
11:23Will I leave you to get your things together?
11:24Right, thank you.
11:26Sorry, um, you see all this stuff in the news about brain injuries and dementia.
11:32I, I, I just wondered, you know, could a knock to the head make the condition worse?
11:37You'd have to speak to a specialist, but I can't think it will have helped.
11:40This tap, I'm going to have to, I'm going to have to get a plumber around it.
11:59Do you fancy a cover?
12:03Oh, cheers, yeah. Right.
12:07Who's that?
12:08Gene.
12:12Listen, that video you made, I know why you made it.
12:15Well, now it's all out in the open, we can talk about it.
12:17You don't need it anymore, so you might as well delete it, mightn't you?
12:21Yeah, yeah. Right, I'll delete it.
12:24Now, I'm still master of my own...
12:30I said I'll delete it, and I'll delete it in my own time.
12:39Back in a minute.
12:41Where you going?
12:43Gene brought this round, she wants it back.
12:45What, now?
12:46That's what she says.
12:48Well, I'll drop it back, you need the rest, yeah?
12:51I'll make the tea when I get back.
12:54So, if you can't answer, er, if you get, if you file the test, then, er, you've got to take action.
13:17Well, she still came.
13:20No ifs.
13:22No buts.
13:24Fail this test.
13:27And you have to kill yourself, old pal.
13:29What is it? What's happened?
13:30Er, nothing, er.
13:31Well, I didn't want to say anything earlier on, but, er, Nigel went missing.
13:43Oh, and you found him?
13:44Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's fine now.
13:46Well, you're right, I've got to take better care of him.
13:51Anyway, here you go.
13:53Oh, I gave him that as a present.
13:55Well, he said you, er, said you wanted a bet.
13:59Why would he say that?
14:01Oh, maybe he's confused.
14:03There's been a lot of that lately.
14:04No.
14:05Thanks.
14:10Question five.
14:11Yeah.
14:12In Smokey and a Bandit.
14:14The dog in Smokey and a Bandit.
14:17Specially chosen by Burt Reynolds.
14:20What's his name?
14:21Or her name?
14:24Yeah.
14:36I don't know.
14:37I don't know.
14:40I don't know.
14:52What's your game, eh?
14:54You should never ask for this.
14:55I'm sorry.
14:56You trying to get rid of me or something, eh?
14:59You deleted that video yet?
15:02Nigel, I don't understand, alright?
15:04I thought we agreed you don't need it anymore.
15:06But you know that things are going to get better now.
15:09They won't.
15:10They can't.
15:12That's what you don't seem to understand.
15:15Things are going to get bad.
15:17And much quicker than I thought.
15:19Where are you going?
15:20Where are you going?
15:21I told you.
15:22The sea.
15:23The house.
15:24You don't need to go there anymore, Nigel.
15:25Nigel, you don't need to go there anymore, alright?
15:30It's locked.
15:31Have you got the key?
15:33I've locked it.
15:35Nigel, I've locked that one.
15:38You can't keep me prisoner.
15:39I'm not keeping you prisoner.
15:41I'm trying to keep you safe.
15:42No!
15:43You're doing what I'm most scared of.
15:46Taking away my decisions.
15:50Phil, please.
15:52It's time.
15:53You have to let me go.
15:54Go where?
15:55Go where?
15:56Go where?
15:57Some crappy little caravan, eh?
15:59It's a park home.
16:00This is your home, Nigel.
16:02This is your home.
16:03There's nothing you can do there that you can't do here.
16:06It'd be worse there.
16:07You'd be alone, wouldn't you?
16:09You need a place to spend the days you've got left.
16:11This!
16:12This is it!
16:16What?
16:19Nigel, I think we're a bit past the cloak and dagger stage, aren't we?
16:22If you've got anything to say, you can tell me.
16:23I'm your mate, aren't I?
16:26I failed.
16:33The, um...
16:36Cognitive test I made for myself.
16:38I failed.
16:39I failed it just now.
16:40It's just...
16:41It's all right.
16:42It don't mean nothing.
16:43It means everything.
16:44It's just some stupid question.
16:45Questions that I rely on, that I promised myself I'd act on before it's too late.
16:50You have to let me go.
16:52Listen, you're stressed, all right?
16:53You don't know apples from oranges, right?
16:54You're just taking a massive blow to the head.
16:56Yes.
16:57Which has speeded everything up like that nurse said.
17:00No, she never said that.
17:03Something's changed.
17:04Nothing changes that quickly, Nigel, all right?
17:06Now, just park yourself up, because you ain't going anywhere until you see sense.
17:12I am seeing sense.
17:13That's the whole point.
17:15But in a week, a month, I might not remember.
17:19I might not even care.
17:21Then what does it matter, eh?
17:23What does it matter, eh?
17:24What does it matter?
17:27Because I care now.
17:32And...
17:34I want this, Nigel, to make the decisions.
17:40This, me.
17:41Have you even ever thought what my life could be like when this disease takes hold?
17:59It's not...
18:00It's not just a case of having a dodgy memory.
18:02It's, um...
18:03It's just...
18:04Not being able to walk.
18:05Or wash myself.
18:06Or even working on the backside.
18:11Sitting in some home.
18:13Being...
18:14Fed like a child by someone I don't even know.
18:17I don't want to die like that.
18:22I want to be me.
18:26Right to the end.
18:30Now, do you understand?
18:35I do understand.
18:45Phil.
18:49Phil.
18:54Phil.
18:55You should, er...
18:58You should call Julie.
19:00Tell her what you're planning.
19:01Because that's the least you can do.
19:08No.
19:09I don't want that for her.
19:10I didn't want this for you.
19:12Never want there to be a burden.
19:14What?
19:15Weren't you listening back at the hospital, eh?
19:17You ain't a burden, all right?
19:19You never were.
19:20You never could be.
19:21Because...
19:22Because you...
19:24You saved me.
19:25Anyone would have done what I did that night.
19:27No, not that night.
19:29Not just there.
19:30Here, in this house.
19:31Every day since I left the unit.
19:33You...
19:35You saved me, Nigel.
19:38Fred.
19:39The name of the Basset Allen.
19:44In...
19:45Smokey and the Bandit.
19:46I remembered.
19:47Fred.
19:53I was about to do it.
19:56I would have...
19:57I would have done it.
19:59Oh, my God.
20:03You know...
20:06A while ago, I...
20:08I spent the best part of the year thinking I was 59, actually.
20:11I was...
20:12I was 58.
20:14No dementia or no dementia.
20:16We all...
20:17We all forget things.
20:18We all make mistakes.
20:20It doesn't...
20:21Change things, really.
20:22This...
20:24This disease is gonna beat me in the end.
20:26Nigel.
20:28Nigel, we all get beatin' in the end.
20:31You know, you're...
20:33You're worried about your future.
20:35But the future that...
20:36That you imagined...
20:37It...
20:38It don't have to go down like that.
20:40No, I will do...
20:41Everything I can to...
20:42To change things.
20:44So that you feel like...
20:45That you're in control.
20:47Yeah.
20:49And if...
20:50You know, when the time comes for you to move on.
20:53You don't have to live in some...
20:54Oxy little...
20:55Shoebox.
20:57No.
20:58There's places you can go.
20:59Good...
21:00Good places.
21:01Full of good...
21:02People.
21:03Kind.
21:04Respecting.
21:05Caring.
21:06People.
21:07That will look after you.
21:08Just...
21:10Just think about it.
21:11Yeah.
21:12Yeah.
21:13Yeah.
21:14Yeah.
21:15Yeah.
21:16Yeah.
21:17Yeah.
21:18Yeah.
21:40Olive, cut the cheese with them toasted.
21:42Oh, I saw you as I was leaving the library. Did you find him?
21:47Yeah.
21:49How is he?
21:50Well, he's safe, at least, but I think the rest is going to take time.
21:55Yeah.
21:56He's lucky to have a friend like you.
21:58I don't know about that.
22:00I made just about a heavy mistake in the book today, but, well, I think we might have turned the corner.
22:05So what next?
22:07He don't like the look of what's coming down the line.
22:08I can't say I blame him, but, well, I'm going to look into some care homes.
22:13Try and find him the best one I can.
22:15And what is wrong with the home that he is in right now?
22:19Greater love has no one than this.
22:24To lay down one's life for one's friends.
22:29It's obvious that you care very much about him, and it strikes me that Nigel is already exactly where he should be.
22:36I can't get you drunk in there, can I?
22:38I can't get you drunk in there.
22:40Yeah, I'll pay my service.
22:41I'll pay my service.
22:42I'll pay for you.
22:44I can't get you drunk.
23:01I can't get you drunk.
23:06Sonia, it's me, Phil.
23:34Listen, I don't even know what time it is where you are.
23:39Jess, listen, I've had this idea and I need you to tell me whether it's a stupid idea or not.
23:53All right, hiya.
23:55All right.
23:57It's a hammer and cheese.
24:01Simple potions.
24:04I've been thinking, you know, about how we could make this work.
24:14Please, Phil, enough talking.
24:17Listen, if I don't say this now, then I'll never say it, all right? So just hear me out.
24:25I don't know how much time you've got left, you know. None of us know that, do we?
24:31But what time you have got, you know, don't have to be like you said, you know, people looking after you that don't know you.
24:38Stay here and how do I look after you?
24:44Are you offering to be my carer?
24:47Yeah.
24:49Yeah, I suppose I am.
24:51What?
24:54I don't know. I'm surprised. I'm touched.
25:05But I can't let you do that, even if it were possible.
25:08Well, it is possible. I just spoke with Sonia. She said, as long as we get some support in, we could do it.
25:12I don't want you to do that.
25:15Yeah, because you don't want to be a burden, and I understand that.
25:20But you ain't a burden, all right?
25:24We've...
25:26We've talked before, haven't we, about, you know, what led me to the Arches that night.
25:35Well, you know, I've always had a purpose in life.
25:38Whether it was sticking a finger up to my old man, or making money, looking after my mum, looking after family.
25:45I've always had a purpose, but I ain't got them things anymore.
25:49I have.
25:51I have got you.
25:54Now here, you'll be safe, you'll be looked after, and you'll be treated with dignity.
26:01I promise you.
26:02You have no idea how bad it could get.
26:09Well, whatever comes, you know, we'll prepare for it, we'll deal with it together.
26:15And, you know, on the plus side, you get to eat a few more cheese and ham toasties.
26:21Look, this ain't about me saving you, this is about saving both of us.
26:31And you...
26:33You commit to staying here, I will commit...
26:37...to looking after you.
26:39All right?
26:41Till the end.
26:42Till the end.
26:49Till the end.
26:52That's good.
26:54That's good.
27:00Here you go.
27:03Thanks.
27:06What?
27:12Details of organisations offering information and support with dementia, mental health or feelings of despair are available on the Action Line pages of the BBC website.