Therapy Thursday: How Do I Cut Him Off?
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00:00which therapist you need therapy thursday now on wild 94.1 i understand therapy therapy thursday
00:06is on 888-429-0941 we answer any questions we got brilliance to share and if we don't know the
00:13brilliant answer we will give you one and act like it is so just mind your business we try
00:17mind your business all right uh let's see what we got um i got one out the 727 for y'all
00:22it says i am terrified of flying and this week i have to face my fears i'm 31 years old and this
00:28will be my first time flying since i was nine i've been able to avoid planes this long but
00:33unfortunately i recently had a death in the family so i have to go to a funeral and driving would take
00:38days i'm freaking out i leave tomorrow super early i fly to charlotte and then catch another flight to
00:44my final stop i already have anxiety medicine but mentally i'm a wreck that's what i was going to
00:50recommend talking to your doctor to see if they can give you anything for anxiety is that anxiety
00:54the weed is that the weed that's the that's the weed ain't it i was thinking that's what i used
00:58i was thinking a pill i used anxiety for my reason at the medical office so i'm just saying they do
01:03give it to you for that sometimes that can also produce more anxiety yes you take an edible or
01:08something like that and just go ahead and conk out maybe put yourself to sleep on the flight and
01:12you're good or freak out mid-flight i can't be out of here and you're gonna be on the news
01:17i mean i've known people what what you want to do is don't over do whatever it is you do do
01:24you do do i said do do all right but no like don't overdo it like if you're gonna have a cocktail to
01:29calm your nerves don't have a bunch okay have a cocktail to calm your nerves if you're gonna have
01:34an edible have an edible but don't have a bunch like don't overdo whatever the remedy is because
01:39that can end badly at 30 000 feet that's that's good advice also i would advise against anything
01:46that you don't normally do so if you're not an edible eater this isn't the time to start right
01:51right before boarding i never got a text that i can actually hear but i can hear this when it says
01:55i get high all right uh let's see uh freak show how do you recommend handling a house divided
02:03politically oh my husband and i have been in an apartment but now live in a new home
02:09and it sounds silly but i have a yard sign that he thinks i should not put in the yard
02:14because now that we have one i can do so but he doesn't want us to have two different ones on the
02:20lawn how should we proceed take a step back how should we proceed no yard sign no yard first step
02:28regardless of who or what you support it doesn't matter if it's for president or for county commission
02:35no yard sign what do you mean no though why because you guys can't agree right so it's gonna
02:40start having two on the lawn is goofy it's goofy i think there should be an avoidance technique which
02:46you guys try to implement just avoid the topics try not to talk about don't wear the shirt no i don't
02:52think you know no they don't sound like they're fighting about it they are it's just it's just a house
02:56divided it's gonna be divided meaning i'm voting one way and my husband is voting another way we i think
03:01we understand that that we are disagreeing with that i don't think it should be a common topic
03:05of conversation because it's only going to lead it's going to get heated this isn't like the gators
03:09and lsu or fs this isn't like that this is politics it's always going to be there it's always going to
03:14be an issue and it doesn't sound like you guys are great at having these civil conversations so just
03:19ignore it all she asked was how puts they sign up somebody that's really passionate about their
03:25side or that's affiliated like actually putting money into it or you're actually working for the
03:30political party okay first of all it's very old school to think that the family has to be voting
03:34together correct you know so if a husband is one way and a wife is the other way that's fine i don't
03:40even think that you got to argue about it you know i'm saying like you said i know i doubt they're
03:43fighting but the outer the yard part you can't have a bunch of signs like you can't have one side of
03:50the thing republican one side independent one side green party you can't just leave them all your lawn
03:56start looking like the library for all of them yeah why just because you own land doesn't mean
04:00you have to put a sign in out in front of like if you have like a desantis and charlie chris sign
04:04you look goofy and you look you look confused by the way 888-429-0941 we got more questions
04:11coming up therapy thursday 888-429-0941 we try and help you talk it out because talking helps when you hear
04:20it out loud sometimes it sounds very apparent when you hear somebody brilliant share their
04:26intellect with you and then there's us yeah did you call us really brilliant for a second i tried
04:32i heard the bay area roll in their eyes all right uh let's see here out of the 727 it says i want to
04:38cut my son's father off okay we haven't been together in the same home in over four years because of
04:44domestic violence but we have been sleeping with each other still oh i know we will never be in a
04:51happy family situation and don't want to block my blessing of meeting the one in quotes uh he doesn't
04:59it just scrolled he doesn't want to let go even though i made it clear many times we're not going
05:04to be together you're sending mixed signals mixed messages if you really don't want to be with
05:10somebody you definitely don't sleep with them um so you are saying you want you want to move on and
05:15you want to meet somebody you know a replacement somebody you can move on with that'll treat you
05:19better but also you're giving it up to him so you i mean it cut it off completely if that's what you
05:24want to do the this whole message is full of contradictions but i'll i'll read the first and
05:29the last sentence first last first sentence i want to cut my son's father off no you don't no you
05:33don't if you really did you would have stopped hooking up with that man a long time ago
05:38hunching is a vote last sentence he doesn't want to let go even though i made things clear
05:43you don't want to let go and you haven't made things perfectly clear yeah your lips on your face
05:48are saying i don't want to be with you right but you're other but there's other conversations from
05:54other lips at 10 o'clock you're sending that text message hey big head what you doing
05:58right you know come on you're contradicting yourself yeah i can't hear you say you don't
06:05love b because the thighs are muffling my ears i can't hear you sex is a reward it's a sec you gave
06:11him a scooby snack right and you acting like the puppy gonna now do what he's supposed to do you
06:14already gave him the treat you could get pregnant again potentially yeah you can yeah you can that
06:18can happen so don't mess up you need to shut down the store completely you gotta you gotta open
06:24sign you gotta turn the sign around to get people to stop walking in the door either yeah either move
06:28on or don't and you're right about blocking your blessings with future people too because you're
06:32it's messy right yeah you're blocking it uh we got a text out the 727 it says this weekend my it's my
06:38girlfriend's birthday and i plan to take her to halloween horror nights here's the problem i am scared as
06:43hell and i really don't want to do the haunted house thing but at the same time i don't want to ruin it
06:49for her what should i do okay who's gonna tell him to stop being a no stop because there's nothing
06:55wrong with a man being scared that's a vulnerability that helps you with the ladies why did he pick to
07:00go to something he hates i mean honestly it's going low key be a better flex i've been in situations
07:04because i'm a very scary person too and i'll tell you when you're scared and you're jumping just like
07:10they jumping it's a it's a kind of a vulnerable kind of aphrodisiac for ladies they see you vulnerable
07:16they get to pick on you so let her pick on you don't get on your feelings about it you know you
07:21scared be scared and then when you get out be like oh my god that was so scary she's gonna okay she's
07:26gonna feel closer you have to go you can't back out on the plans you're you're past it but you have
07:32to let her know that like yo this is a big deal i'm sacrificing something for you for your happiness
07:37let her know so like in return at some point i'm gonna ask you for to do something that you might
07:42not be thrilled about oh and a little quiver nothing nothing nothing nasty i thought this
07:49was like hey you know i did that so you need to do there might be a game or a concert or something
07:54that you want to go to that she might not be thrilled about but she's gonna have to bite the
07:58i would say get fast passes to make your life a little better and then also have a drink or two
08:02and that'll relax but the fast passes mean you gotta do more hunting this guy wants to just sit
08:07you need to be in line don't waste your time get a fast pass uh let's see uh 727 i started dating a
08:13man that is 17 years older than me i'm 36 my daughter feels some type of way she's 18 should
08:21it matter do you call him daddy because i wouldn't probably want to call him granddad oh i've dated
08:28somebody that was older before she 17 years yeah but listen she's 36 she's she's well aware of the age
08:34difference it's not like you're 22 it's totally different if you're making this step and by the
08:38way your 18 year old daughter uh she's allowed to have an opinion because it's kind of weird to her
08:43to see that but if this is somebody you really like you need to have a sit down with her and talk to
08:47her about it but if this is just somebody you want to hook up with and sleep with then why are you
08:51introducing your daughter into everything i don't think you're just hooking up with somebody 17 years
08:54older than you right i'm just saying like that's a that's a commitment right there
08:57it happens though should it matter question mark does it matter yes and it matters for your daughter
09:06a lot it's still an uncomfortable thing for for her to see but every time we talk about these big
09:11age differences there are tons and tons of examples of it working so like like the last lady was talking
09:17about blocking your blessing don't block your blessing because what somebody else might think
09:22daughter there's a lot to good that goes on with a 17 year age difference listen uh and also the fact
09:28of the matter is they're 17 years older than you you made a decision so a lot of things are going to
09:33be difficult for you so if this is hard tap out because it's going to just give it it's going to
09:39get worse it's going to get worse for a little bit at least around in that wheelchair i was just
09:43envisioning that that's so weird you said that i was like dude he's going to be having some issues
09:47all right let's squeeze one more person uh let's see uh i'm an everyday kind of person
09:52and my husband is an only once or twice a week kind of person i think y'all know what they're talking
09:58about right we are always arguing about sex i always have to beg him for it he is literally never
10:05in the mood or too tired what should i do uh yourself yeah yeah go to the tods take a hand
10:14i don't think anything is is going to change him there's no sexy outfit that you could put on
10:19no dirty talk that you could maybe temporarily but uh you have so you're you're dealing with
10:25somebody who is going to have fleeting interest not him but you know mother nature is is taking
10:30its course i think you got to put this in your own hands by the way twice a week i mean a lot of
10:34they would think that that's very good so instead of thinking that it's so bad maybe again you need
10:40to take care of yourself this just reminds you for everybody out there listening it might not help
10:44the writer but it pick your people and make sure that they are on the same side of the fence you
10:49are if you work out every day and you need your partner to work out every day don't come trying
10:54to date me like you know i'm saying like pick you somebody who fits your vibe i mean that's what
10:59you're stuck together now unless you plan on leaving if two is comfortable for him because his work
11:04schedule and everything he does then work your way back to two maybe one or two days you can do
11:09yeah i get that but do your business female sex drive it just gets a little bit more as you age
11:15and for men it declines so sometimes even though when you first met things were good things do change
11:20so you have to be patient with the person by the way again two times a week a lot of people would
11:24wish for that there you go so be happy with you too also visit the todd yes and you know wait for
11:30him to kind of you know raise his level up to your game all right there we go therapy thursday is a wrap