The Jeremy Kyle Show 14th March 2018
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00:00You're watching On Demand. Please check the closing time before trying to vote or enter any competition or other interactivity in this programme, as it may not count and you may still be charged.
00:10On today's show...
00:12Craig, 25. Your brother is Dylan, who's 23. You say he's a nightmare.
00:17You've got it coming for you, sunshine.
00:18Yeah, bring it.
00:22Did he proposition her?
00:24Yeah, he was like, oh, leave Craig, I can give you a better life than what he can.
00:30You look at him, I'll smack him and say that.
00:35You sat on that stage and basically called me a bad dad. I am there for this.
00:39No one's up and saying you had a son.
00:42Get back in your box.
00:44No, you get in your box, you're not an idiot.
00:47Have you hurt yourself? You're not manipulating me again.
00:49He's obsessed, you can't leave me alone.
00:51I don't even know about that.
00:52So why are you posting about me still three months later?
00:55Why are you sending me flyers from Blackpool?
00:57He's an absolute booloo!
01:01I hate it, you've got to make my folks a day because of you.
01:04Yeah, you want nothing to do with her.
01:06Well, stop, let's get you leave!
01:08APPLAUSE
01:11Hello, my friends. Good morning and a big, big welcome to the show.
01:32Right, our first guest today, Craig, is here to confront his brother, Dylan,
01:35who he says is basically a violent and abusive thug.
01:38He says that Dylan is an embarrassment and he even banned him from his over-wedding.
01:42Check this, after his brother tried to sleep with his wife.
01:45Ooh!
01:46Craig says he's here today to tell him,
01:48you're no longer a part of this family, stay out of mine and my wife's life for good.
01:52Do one.
01:52Craig's on the Jeremy Car Show that way!
01:54All right, Jack, all right?
02:01You can start looking at that, eh?
02:02You like that?
02:03Do I like it?
02:04Yeah, do you like it?
02:04Lovely.
02:05How are you, Craig?
02:06I'm fine, thanks, mate.
02:07Why have I gone into that accent?
02:08Welcome to the show, Craig, 25.
02:10Your brother is Dylan, who's 23.
02:12You say he's a nightmare.
02:15Yeah, he is an absolute nightmare, Jess.
02:18We had him round one new year for Christmas.
02:20Obviously, all that growing up.
02:22Were you close?
02:23We was close, actually.
02:24My mum actually said at one point,
02:25we were like the Mitchell brothers.
02:28Told my team, it's gone too far.
02:31I am here to humiliate this lowlife and to have him out of my life.
02:34What's been going on?
02:35I mean, blood is thicker than water, isn't it?
02:37Well, you know, I mean, they say that you can't pick your family.
02:41But, you know, I picked mine.
02:43I did pick mine.
02:44And my family's my wife and my daughter, you know what I mean?
02:46I don't want him anywhere near us.
02:48You say he's a benefit scrounger.
02:50Yeah, of course he is.
02:50I mean, I'm on benefits myself, you know what I mean?
02:52I'm on benefits myself, but I work for a charity, do you know what I mean?
02:56And we make furniture and, you know, stuff like that.
02:58And we give, like, to people less fortunate.
03:01You've got it coming for you, sunshine.
03:03Yeah, bring it.
03:03Er, he abuses the system.
03:08Yeah, he does, yeah.
03:10What, works and claims?
03:12Well, he doesn't, you know what I mean?
03:14He's never really got a **** done anything, Jez.
03:16You say he's a liar, he's a trouble, he causes trouble.
03:18What do you mean?
03:19Well, erm, like, he were sending my wife, like, er...
03:23Well, he came to live with you, didn't he?
03:24Yeah, he did, actually, yeah.
03:25I mean, erm, he were homeless for a bit, so we put a roof over his head
03:28and he didn't have to pay no rent, he didn't have to do none of that, mate,
03:31do you know what I mean?
03:31Because I didn't really want to take anything off him, do you know what I mean?
03:35And it was just, like, one of those things.
03:36Didn't help out, though, did he, didn't he?
03:37No, he didn't, no.
03:38Erm, I went to work one day, because I was actually working at that point,
03:41and, er...
03:43I come home and I said to my wife,
03:45has he done anything around the house?
03:46And she said, no, I've done it at all.
03:47Nothing.
03:48Nothing at all.
03:49And then, shockingly, erm...
03:52Oh, I like that, I asked him to wash the pots
03:53and he head-butted my bathroom door.
03:55Yeah.
04:00Could you wash up?
04:01No!
04:02What?
04:03I don't know what's wrong with him, man.
04:05He looks like a drunk Frank Gallagher.
04:07He messaged your missus and said, leave him.
04:12Did he re-did he proposition her?
04:13Er, yeah, he actually did send her that message.
04:15He was like, erm, oh, leave, Craig,
04:17because I can give you a better life than what he can.
04:19Him?
04:20Yeah, him.
04:21So he's living in your house, because he's homeless,
04:23and he asks his own brother's wife to get it on with her
04:26and to leave you.
04:28He's got the same tattoo as I have on my neck.
04:31What does that mean?
04:32Oh, yeah, well, I've got this, er, this tattoo here to represent, er,
04:35you know, the sad, tragic loss of my grandad, you know, there it is.
04:40And, er, he went out and got the same one.
04:44He's not worthy to have that tattoo.
04:45And my grandad...
04:46Is his underneath or on top?
04:47Which is...
04:48Erm...
04:49Can you put them back up again, please?
04:51Because the one underneath's a bit better, isn't it, to be honest?
04:54It does look a bit better, to be fair.
04:55He's got a better tattoo than you.
04:58Yeah, it does look a bit better, to be fair.
04:59That's why you don't like him, isn't it?
05:00Oh, no, no, no.
05:01I'll be saying to your wife, when you have it with me, it's a dude...
05:04No, I'm joking.
05:04So today, er, why are you here?
05:06Why are you doing it here?
05:07Basically, I just want him to leave my wife and my family alone.
05:09I don't want him in my daughter's life,
05:10I don't want him in my unborn child's life,
05:12I don't want him basically anything to do with him.
05:14Cutting ties today.
05:15That's it, yeah.
05:15He says, er, you're a low-life deadbeat
05:18who's made his life hell and he hates your guts.
05:22This is going to go well, isn't it?
05:23Dylan's on the Jeremy Kyle show that way.
05:32Ate my guts, do you?
05:34Yeah.
05:35Why'd you ate my guts a minute ago, do you know what I mean?
05:37Because, right, you've got Emily wrapped around
05:39your little finger, right?
05:42Whatever she said, right, you do it anyways.
05:44No, no, no, mate, it's not even like that, do you know what I mean?
05:47Yeah, it is.
05:47I don't...
05:49I've seen you, you freak!
05:50You look, I'm not swacking straight and fast!
05:52You look, I hate you!
05:56I'm not here for you, right?
05:57Why are you even here?
05:58She's here to support me.
05:59You can't stand up for yourself.
06:00Why, you should be like you're friendly men to do instead of lying?
06:03You're too f***ing to f***ing, you!
06:05LAUGHTER
06:06Oh, that's a nice entrance, isn't it?
06:09LAUGHTER
06:10Er, welcome to the show.
06:12Why are you taking advantage of his hospitality?
06:13It's like, why are you trying it on with his wife?
06:15I never tried it on with his wife at all.
06:17Yeah, you did try it on with my wife.
06:18No, I didn't.
06:19You came down to a mother's place where we were staying because we didn't have a place to live at that time.
06:26I went to the toilet, we got to the train station and you said that she tried it on with her.
06:30Come on, Dylan!
06:31No, I never tried it on with her at all. Why would I try it on with your missus?
06:33You told my team that you hated your brother from the moment he slept with somebody you slept with or he was going out with or something.
06:38What was the truth?
06:39Because she told me they're split up.
06:41Who?
06:42Somebody else?
06:43Yeah.
06:44So you're jealous of your brother, are you?
06:45No.
06:46Why do you live in his house?
06:47If you hate him so much, then why don't you get your own place?
06:49Because I'm jealous of him.
06:50Because I didn't hate him at the time.
06:51I didn't hate him at the time.
06:53Why don't you get a job?
06:58Have you ever had a job?
06:59Yeah.
07:00Doing what?
07:01Painting and decorating.
07:02So what's happened?
07:03Well, he says you're abusing the benefit system.
07:05No, I'm not at all.
07:06Go out to, you know what I mean, get a decent job to pay you away.
07:10I bet many of these people in this audience sat here today, I bet half of you work, right?
07:14No, I've worked.
07:17Stand up if you work for a living.
07:23Lazy man.
07:24There are a lot of people.
07:25Well, hold on a minute.
07:26There are a lot of people trying to get a job, but you're not trying to get a job, are you?
07:29How do you know?
07:30Because he told me.
07:31Just because he told you, I am trying to get a job, actually.
07:34Are you?
07:35Yeah.
07:36Well, what's happening then?
07:37Why are you living in his house?
07:38Because I had nowhere to stay at the time.
07:39Yeah, I will say that.
07:40Right, and I'm actually glad he took me in.
07:42Yeah, and I was good enough to put a roof over your head and so was she.
07:45I know right, I'm not denying that.
07:46And then, and then, you had the up and bald cheek to go out on that new year, I told you
07:52not to have too many drinks because you can get violent, mate.
07:55Oh, nice.
07:56And then, you know what I mean?
07:57And then you was in my face, my wife got in yours, and then you nearly had him down the
08:02stairs, you know what I mean?
08:03She was a newborn kid.
08:04I was trying to get by her.
08:05Why would I want to push her down the stairs?
08:06You tried to push her down the stairs?
08:07You tried to push her down the stairs?
08:08You tried to push her down the stairs?
08:09No, is it?
08:10No, I never.
08:11I was trying to get by her so I could get out the house.
08:13So I could get out the house.
08:14In spite of not caught her, when I did, she would have fell with my new born baby.
08:17Did you hit bubble all when he asked you to clean the pots?
08:19No.
08:20No, not at all.
08:21You sure?
08:22I'd rather hit but you.
08:23Oh, you want to hit but me?
08:24And that's going to happen, isn't it?
08:26I don't even like your little ****.
08:30You don't like me?
08:32No, right, why would anyone like you?
08:34You can't even win an award, right?
08:35I like him.
08:36I'll tell you what, if I had this bit of music, I'd win.
08:52Me thinks there isn't much to you, Barthreds.
09:03That's fine.
09:04Listen, no, I haven't won an award, right?
09:06But I have got a damn job and I don't abuse me family.
09:09I don't abuse me brother's wife, do I?
09:11What?
09:12What?
09:13What?
09:14I don't know.
09:15So why don't you like me?
09:18No, no, no.
09:19Let's have this bit.
09:20Why don't you like me?
09:21Why would anyone like you?
09:22Sorry?
09:23Why would anyone like you?
09:24Because somebody takes you on and tells you exactly what you are,
09:26you lying lowlife piece of whatever.
09:28Why don't you get a job?
09:29I'm trying to...
09:30Come on.
09:31Why are you abusing his hospitality?
09:33I wouldn't abuse...
09:34Why don't you sit there and you don't give a damn
09:36and the world owes you a damn living?
09:38The world don't owe me anything.
09:39Good, then apologise to your brother for misusing his house
09:42and abusing...
09:43It doesn't matter.
09:44Do you know what he said to us?
09:45He's controlled by his wife, he's round her little finger.
09:47Is there anything you want to say about this
09:48or are you just stunned into silence?
09:50No.
09:51That's got nothing to do with him, mate.
09:52I'm just here to basically tell you to leave me and my family alone
09:56and don't bother coming anywhere near Lexi.
09:58Do you know what I mean?
09:59She's my one in a million, mate.
10:00You don't even deserve to be an uncle.
10:02You don't deserve to be...
10:03that after damn.
10:04Awww!
10:05Back off to the break.
10:06Don't get it.
10:07My life and her life and my daughter's life ain't no game, mate.
10:11And to you, you know what I mean?
10:12I'm not going to have you be a part of that.
10:13I really am.
10:14I picked myself up when I fell.
10:17You can do the damn same.
10:19It's all kicking off.
10:20Security.
10:21This test says you're a liar, love.
10:22This isn't about you.
10:23This is about your children.
10:24Oh, here we go.
10:25The Carlton prophetic.
10:26Oh, here we go.
10:27The Carlton prophetic.
10:28It's all kicking off.
10:29Security.
10:30The Carlton prophetic.
10:31The Carlton prophetic.
10:32The Carlton prophetic.
10:33They are theвод.
10:34Read the family.
10:35It's all kicking off.
10:37Security!
10:38Oh, no.
10:40Don't even have a side to it.
10:41This test says you're a liar, love.
10:44Oh, no.
10:45This is not about you.
10:46This is about your children.
10:47Oh, here we go.
10:48The Carlton prophetic scandal.
10:49The Carlton prophetic.
10:50Oh, no.
10:51Oh, no.
10:52Oh, here we go, the power of the inputs.
10:54OK, more happiness after...
10:58Oh, get off!
11:00No, no, no, no!
11:04Oh, my Lord.
11:06Nick Phillips, go to us.
11:08Who has to put up with this?
11:13There's a feud in the family tearing your family apart.
11:16Do you think you're being lied to and need my help to prove it?
11:19If you're 16 or over and you'd like to be considered for the show,
11:21email talk at ITV.com along with your number.
11:24Text TALK plus your name to 63334.
11:26Text costs 25 pence plus one standard rate message.
11:29Or you can call my team today.
11:30It's 09011.
11:32It's 123456.
11:33Of course, it costs 25 pence plus network access charge.
11:45Welcome back. Before the break with Mayor Craig,
11:47who came out and said,
11:48my brother's a scrounger, he's a user,
11:50he's taken advantage of me and my family,
11:51he's abused my wife,
11:52tried it on with her,
11:53being horrible to be a kid,
11:54I don't have anything to do with him.
11:55And then Mr. Happy came out.
11:57You don't like anybody, do you?
12:00No.
12:01What?
12:02No.
12:03What's wrong with you?
12:04Why are you so miserable?
12:05Why are you so miserable?
12:06Because I've got to stay at the office.
12:09No one asked you to be here.
12:11Because I said I've got to stay at the office.
12:15I'm quite easy.
12:16It's absolutely fine to say that.
12:18Quite seriously.
12:19I really don't get affected,
12:21because if I did,
12:22I'd probably...
12:23Anyway, never mind.
12:24What's your wife called?
12:25Emily.
12:26Emily's on the Jeremy Kyle show.
12:31You call him a bad dad,
12:33get a lie about him being a bad dad and whatever else.
12:37His daughter wants for nothing.
12:39Nothing at all.
12:40Well, Buffy...
12:42Yes...
12:50What are we doing now?
12:51Away from you.
12:52What are we doing now?
12:53No, you're not running away.
12:54Where are we, where are we going?
12:55You ain't running away, son.
12:58Oh, we're just doing the Kyle Olympics.
12:59You can't go to the Olympics, where?
13:01LAUGHTER
13:03What are you doing?
13:05What are you doing now?
13:07Come on, you look a liar.
13:09Here comes a big man routine.
13:11What are you doing, being so aggressive?
13:13Cos I can. Cos there's a little ****.
13:17Here comes a big man routine.
13:19Come on, this is a talk show, not a walking show.
13:22APPLAUSE
13:29Dylan, what's the point of this?
13:32Um...
13:34No, you're right, I don't want nothing to do with you.
13:36I've got all my reasons why, too.
13:38If you don't want nothing to do with him,
13:40if you don't want nothing to do with him,
13:42why bring him here?
13:43You sat on that stage and basically called me a bad dad.
13:46I am there for my...
13:47You were the one saying you had a son.
13:50And you've never had a child.
13:52You're not mad enough to give kids.
13:54Oh.
13:55Come on, then.
13:57You've got a lot to say over Facebook and word bells,
13:59but where's your mouth now?
14:01I put my little girl to bed every night
14:03and I read her a damn story
14:04and do you know what he gets up in the morning and says?
14:07Does anybody want a biscuit?
14:11Do you want a biscuit?
14:12Come on, Dylan.
14:13Do you want a biscuit?
14:15No, thank you.
14:16No.
14:19Where are we going now?
14:20I'd have a biscuit if I had a brew, Jeremy.
14:22Here you are. Well, they'll have a biscuit.
14:24It's a chocolate biscuit.
14:25Oh, look at that. I can say I've got a biscuit.
14:26Where are you going, essentially?
14:28You wanted to speak to me,
14:29so get over here and speak to me.
14:31Just me and you, then.
14:32Just want to speak to his brother.
14:33Just me and you.
14:34No.
14:35No.
14:36He's married to her.
14:39He's married to her.
14:41Keeps together.
14:42You were the one that's spreading lies about her.
14:44You were the one.
14:45You were the one.
14:49You've got every right to be here just as much as you do.
14:51You're the one that's spreading lies about her sunshine.
14:53What lies has he spread?
14:55He spreaded lies about...
14:57What am I doing?
14:58Apparently I tried coming on to him in my mum's house.
15:01She tried coming on to him.
15:02Have you seen the state of that?
15:03Seriously?
15:04She sent him messages, or it could have been him sending her messages, but yeah, that
15:08was a bit of the gist of it.
15:10Do you know what I mean?
15:11He's brought me on here and he said that he wants to speak to me on my own.
15:14I don't know what he's doing, really.
15:15He seems to have run about a mile.
15:16He's being a child.
15:17He'll never grow up.
15:18He needs a microphone.
15:19He'll never grow up.
15:20Has he taken his microphone off?
15:23Yeah.
15:24Oh, does baby want his dummy?
15:26Don't start now.
15:27You're not helping.
15:28It's pathetic.
15:29Yeah, I understand that.
15:30Let, let...
15:31He needs to give it...
15:32Let your oxygen train...
15:33...except the drugs.
15:34Oh, dear.
15:35You need this microphone if you're going to talk to your brother, pal.
15:37I can't do it if you've taken your thing off, yeah?
15:39You want to speak to me?
15:40You're doing it with her here.
15:41And I didn't mean to call him a bad daddy.
15:43Look.
15:44No, I'm sorry I said that.
15:48And I'm sorry, Emily, for calling you what I did.
15:50You're not excited.
15:51No, are you?
15:52I'm not interested in that.
15:53Can I do this?
15:54Because I can't...
15:55I just want a relationship with my brother.
15:56I don't want...
15:57Where do you think it's gone wrong, pal?
15:58Because...
15:59Yeah.
16:00I won't lie to you, Jeremy.
16:01Yeah.
16:02I have treated bad.
16:03Right?
16:04And we used to...
16:05Right?
16:06When I was on the show last time, yeah.
16:07Right?
16:08I didn't say much, right?
16:09And...
16:10And anything else like that, right?
16:11But I'm actually here.
16:12Yeah.
16:13Why did you come?
16:14Because I miss him.
16:15Right, that's...
16:16I don't like the way I've treated him.
16:17Yeah.
16:18Listen to him.
16:19He can't do any more than say that.
16:20And just...
16:21Right?
16:22And I am sorry.
16:23I'm sorry about him, right?
16:24You're not a bad dad.
16:25I've seen you with Lexie.
16:26That's why I say it.
16:27Because I said it out of the bank.
16:28Yeah.
16:29I was trying to score points.
16:30Yeah.
16:31And I said it out of the bank.
16:32That's fair enough, to be fair.
16:33Because I know someone's not a bad parent.
16:34Why say it?
16:35Because she's scoring points.
16:36Everyone says stuff out of anger.
16:37He's said it.
16:38I've said it.
16:39But that's all right.
16:40To me.
16:41And I'm sorry.
16:42You haven't apologised to me yet.
16:43And I'm sorry, Jeremy.
16:44I'll be crying later.
16:45You still haven't told me the reason why.
16:46You nearly pushed her down the stairs with my newborn baby in her arms.
16:49I was trying to get past it.
16:50Yeah.
16:51You pushed her.
16:52Admit it.
16:53You pushed her.
16:54Can I ask you a question?
16:55Can I ask you a question?
16:56Yeah.
16:57Don't get upset.
16:58Answer me man to man.
16:59You're a little bit envious of your brother.
17:01Yeah.
17:02Yeah?
17:03Of course he is.
17:04Yeah, right, because he's had a better life than me.
17:05Well, don't run that in his face.
17:06That's not my fault.
17:07It's well done.
17:08If you stop lying about people.
17:09I don't want it to be me and him.
17:10I just want to talk to him.
17:11Obviously, right.
17:12She doesn't want to talk to me, right?
17:13And I can't blame her.
17:14Neither does he.
17:15I know, right?
17:16Yeah, but he's got to make his own mind up for that, hasn't he?
17:19He said it for Jay Wallace.
17:20Stand there.
17:21Stand there.
17:22Can I have anything to do with you?
17:23All right.
17:24Do me a favour and let them speak.
17:25Come here.
17:26Yes, you can.
17:27Not a word.
17:28Not a word.
17:29I picked myself up when I fell.
17:31You can do the damn same.
17:33Yeah, right, well...
17:34You don't need to go spreading lies about people.
17:38You know what I mean?
17:39She's my rights mate.
17:40If it weren't for her, I'd probably be in...
17:42I'd probably be dead or in jail.
17:45If it weren't for her mate, she'd pick me up.
17:47Can't be easy to hear that though, when somebody else is saying it to you and you're in that
17:51position they were once in, can it?
17:53How many times have you done that?
17:54I don't...
17:55Do you know what I mean?
17:56Mate, can you do me a favour?
17:57I'm not having to go at you at all, Emma, like you.
17:59But let...
18:00Just let the brothers speak.
18:01How many times have we tried to open you, Dylan?
18:02I know.
18:03Throwing it back in our faces.
18:04You love your brother, don't you?
18:05Yeah, of course I do.
18:06Show's it really funny then.
18:07But he came and apologised.
18:08Come on.
18:09Give him a break.
18:10It just doesn't mean anything.
18:11I wish I could...
18:12Speak, Em, seriously now.
18:14That's not fair.
18:15Let him speak.
18:16Go on.
18:17I can't talk to you when she's there mate.
18:19You have to...
18:20She has to...
18:21You have to be quiet now, Emily.
18:22Come on.
18:23I know she misses me, but...
18:24I just want to talk to you.
18:25I don't want to argue with you.
18:26But you still haven't admitted the fact that you nearly had her down the stairs.
18:30You still haven't admitted the fact of...
18:32Why did you lie to me?
18:33What was the reason for lying?
18:35Were you trying to score points for me to get her?
18:36Because I seem to be good at lying.
18:37That's all I know.
18:38That's a good point.
18:39Why did you lie to me?
18:40Were you trying to score points for me to get her?
18:41At least he's admitted it.
18:42No, I wasn't.
18:43Did she try on with you?
18:44No.
18:45Did you try on with her?
18:46No.
18:47I actually didn't try it on with her.
18:48You told me you did.
18:49Of course you did.
18:50Because he was outscoring points.
18:51Craig.
18:52Craig.
18:53Craig.
18:54Craig.
18:55That's all I was...
18:56I don't mean...
18:57I didn't mean it.
18:58No, this ain't a game mate.
18:59In my life, in her life, in my daughter's life ain't no game mate.
19:02And to you, you know what I mean?
19:03I'm not going to have you be a part of that.
19:04I really aren't.
19:05What's the point of me standing here then?
19:06Who brought us here?
19:07No, I'm not.
19:08You brought us here.
19:09That is what I'm saying to you.
19:10You brought us here.
19:11That is what I'm saying to you.
19:12You brought us here.
19:13Yeah, obviously I care about your ex.
19:14I wouldn't have travelled all this weary if I didn't want to talk to you.
19:15I don't want to know him, Jeremy.
19:16I really don't.
19:17Well, go then.
19:18Sorry Jeremy, but I tried to talk to him.
19:19Oh, go then.
19:20Go on then.
19:21See you in a bit.
19:22What?
19:23You didn't do that.
19:24Oh, I'm not.
19:25I'm not speaking to my wife like that, really.
19:26Watch out.
19:27No.
19:28Relax.
19:29Oh, what is he doing?
19:30Go on then.
19:31See you in a bit.
19:32What?
19:33You didn't do that.
19:34Oh, I'm not speaking to my wife like that, really.
19:36Watch out.
19:37No.
19:38Relax.
19:39Oh, what is he doing?
19:40Don't start speaking to my wife like that.
19:44Don't come out.
19:45That's what I was looking at about to feel like.
19:48On the bathroom door.
19:50Ah, see you.
19:52Nice knowing you.
19:53Well, you know what?
19:54I said it before.
19:55Do our best to offer people the chance to come and talk in a calm way.
20:00I think he's very angry because I think he's jealous.
20:02I think he's done and said things he probably regrets.
20:04She is very vocal.
20:05We'll do our best to offer them the chance as brothers to sit down.
20:08We'll come down and do our best.
20:10We'll let you know.
20:11We'll keep you updated.
20:12Did you have sex with Stella?
20:14No.
20:15He's gone around telling people he actually has.
20:17Why have you told people you haven't?
20:19Yes, you haven't got the screenshots, the lot.
20:21I've never slept with him.
20:22Never.
20:23And if she did, what happens to your mate of nine years?
20:26She ain't my mate no more.
20:27Clearly wasn't my mate in the first place, was she?
20:29It's all kicking off security.
20:46This test says you're a liar, love.
20:54This isn't about you.
20:56This isn't about you.
20:58This is about your children.
20:59Oh here we go.
21:00The car is in first.
21:01Okay, more happiness after.
21:03Oh, get off!
21:06No, no, no, no, no!
21:12Oh my lord!
21:13I need Felix go through us to put up with this.
21:17Are there three people in your relationship?
21:23relationship? Are you in a love triangle or want to expose a love rat? If you're 16
21:28or over and you'd like to be considered for the show, email talk at ITV.com along
21:31with your number, text talk plus your name to 63334, text cost 25 pence plus one
21:36standard rate message, or you can call my team today, it's 09011, it's 123456,
21:42of course, cost 25 pence plus network access charge.
21:53Thank you very much, you're welcome back, right, you might remember my next guest Andy from a previous encounter, take a look at this.
22:01Why are you here today?
22:03To prove what a dirty little she is.
22:08You want to find out if she's a cheat and you're also here to prove that you haven't catfished her.
22:12I am, yeah. She's got a Twitter account and on that Twitter account it says available for adult work.
22:18You've never made my life! Living out for the last three months, you've stopped!
22:22I don't want you to come anywhere near me, you piece of...
22:27What's the message you mean?!
22:28You catfished me as...
22:30Claire, you absolute...
22:32You're a fat lady, he's a slob.
22:36So we asked him, did you set up the fake Facebook account in the name of Claire, and you said no, why did you say no?
22:42Telling the truth.
22:42The test says you're a liar, pal.
22:45During your relationship with Andy, apart from the one time you've just admitted to, have you passionately kissed anyone else?
22:50You said no, why did you say no?
22:51Because I didn't.
22:52Well, the test says you're a liar as well.
22:53I don't want to tell you.
22:53I don't want to tell you.
22:54I don't want to tell you.
22:56In fact, let's be perfectly honest, you've failed every single question, including Interpol.
23:00You catfished her and you slept around, why the hell are we having this...
23:04They're just nothing but dirty...
23:06Well, that went well.
23:11Now, after that show, Andy says that Susie is still harassing him and even accusing him of sleeping with her best friend Stella.
23:17Once he proves his allegations are false, he says he never wants to see either of them again.
23:21Did he have sex with Stella?
23:23Does he like a Stella?
23:24I don't know.
23:25And he's on the Jeremy Carr show that way.
23:26You all right?
23:36Fine.
23:37Excellent.
23:37Um, just help me out, because I'm getting old.
23:40Um, the lady with the blonde hair...
23:42Yeah.
23:43You're not with her anymore.
23:44No.
23:44She's called Susie.
23:45Yeah.
23:46Susie the Floozy.
23:47Susie Bud?
23:47The Floozy.
23:49Susie the Floozy.
23:51The other woman is...
23:53Says, Anne, who are you today?
23:55Who are you today?
23:56Are you Andy today?
23:57Who are you today?
23:58I'm Susie, always have been Susie, darling.
24:01Get back in your box.
24:01No, why don't you get back in your box, you little f***ing idiot.
24:05Have you heard yourself?
24:06You're not manipulating me again.
24:08Oh, just do one, will you?
24:09No.
24:10It's not your show, is it?
24:11Could you do one a minute?
24:12No.
24:13Please?
24:14No.
24:14Please.
24:16Don't wink at me.
24:24There's a woman in the front row, quite a glamorous lady, who said,
24:26What's catfishing?
24:28Notice I've got the glamorous in there.
24:29I still don't know what cat...
24:30You catfished her, didn't you?
24:32Yes.
24:33What? Oh, you did?
24:34Yes.
24:34I'll eat me, sit!
24:36Obviously.
24:37What is...
24:39What?
24:40Sit down.
24:41Come on, what's catfishing, I'm being?
24:46Sit down.
24:46Answer him.
24:47What are you doing?
24:48I've got really a clue, don't I?
24:51You don't know what you did to her?
24:53No.
24:54Pretending to be a woman!
24:57You pretended to be a woman?
24:58Apparently.
25:00You mean apparently, catfishing!
25:02Right, anyway, basically, you lied to her and she lied to you.
25:06Sit down, she admitted she's cheated.
25:08Why are we ba...
25:09Because going to bed with him is like going to bed with a book!
25:12She wasn't very complimentary about your sexual techniques.
25:16Well, I thought she was.
25:16You're back today because she's accusing you of sleeping with her friend Stella?
25:21Apparently so.
25:22I didn't accuse him, he's told everyone he has.
25:25Have you slept with Stella?
25:26No.
25:26No.
25:27I haven't slept with her, but then you thought they were a couple of lesbians.
25:31We are a couple of lesbians.
25:32How do you know they're a couple of lesbians?
25:34They sleep in the same bed in the living room.
25:35I haven't slept to my own for six weeks because I've got a new boyfriend.
25:44Show's what you know, doesn't it?
25:47Me arresting you, you're the one sending messages to her pretending to be a woman.
25:51Do you want me to not f***ing you?
25:58How long were you with her for?
26:00Only three months.
26:00It's the worst three months of my entire life.
26:04Now I'm too.
26:05Are you not in love with her anymore?
26:07Good God, no.
26:09So you're here to clear your name, you didn't sleep with Stella,
26:13and then you want them to get on with their lives?
26:15Come the Jeremy
26:38So she explained to me what we're here for you you're not with a minute you did cheat on him
26:42I told him I had all right
26:46He makes me good asleep you've got made me scream which you're gonna choose
26:54Why does it matter to you you sent it asleep she admitted one
27:00Yeah, yeah, that's one he made you scream
27:04Did not in no he made me scream with disgust yeah?
27:09Was he no good at sex?
27:11I can't remember because he got me paralytic get twice that I slept with him. Yeah, Lord
27:16So I wasn't paralytic join see the pictures you go so far
27:25No, you did you asked me to buy it
27:28It's like last time I was at your farm babe on your way
27:32Message me my stellar two nights ago saying
27:35Do you stand around with Susan because Andy needs to speak? He says you're a prostitute listen, I don't charge
27:42What I said, what would I charge?
27:49For a year and a half I was talking to a girl called Claire who I believe to be a girl
27:54She was telling me her mate Andy really liked me is right into me turns out this side to path was cut along
28:01I failed the test why don't you just say to her I'm Andy instead of be a woman because he knows he wouldn't stand a chance
28:09He's in it
28:11I know we're desperate
28:13I'll tell you what next time you jump off the pier love do a proper job and do it properly
28:17Listen next time come with me so I can actually get you out of my life once and for all
28:22I'll push you off
28:25Why are you two so hateful to each other?
28:27I just want you to leave me
28:28Sexual tension listen, he's not hated between me. Have you seen his wall?
28:32His what?
28:33His Facebook wall. I thought you said he's Willy for a moment then
28:36You need a magnifying glass
28:38Susan Susan Susan Susan Susan Susan look at my wall. It's full of me and my new boyfriend
28:43He's obsessed. He can't leave me alone. Why can't you leave her alone?
28:47I am leaving me alone now
28:48So why are you posting about me still three months later?
28:51Why are you sending me flyers from Blackpool?
28:53Um, what? Hotel flyers? I work in a hotel now
28:56No, I don't so why would I send him a flyer from a hotel?
29:00Er, so he's showing a lie detector today
29:02He says to prove that he hasn't slept with Stella your mate who allegedly you might have had a lesbian fling with
29:07Well, no, I've never had any
29:08I like younger girls, not people like that
29:11No, I am bisexual
29:13You are bisexual
29:14Yes, yes
29:15But no, I don't even share a bed with her because I don't stay at home
29:18She's 40, she's too old for you
29:20Yeah, yeah
29:20So you prefer a younger girl?
29:22Did you know she was bisexual?
29:23I did, yes
29:24Yeah, of course you did
29:25You know everything about me? He's just a reject from Wigan
29:29Where'd you see?
29:30From Birmingham
29:32My wife is a little Birmingham
29:36She said and I quote
29:38So he looks like and lives like he's going to a permanent funeral
29:41Does she describe you?
29:43Tell me he doesn't
29:44Did he, did you have sex with Stella?
29:46No
29:47If he said he didn't, why are we doing a bleeding lie?
29:49Because he's gone around telling people he actually has
29:52Why have you told people you haven't?
29:54Yes, you have, I've got the screenshots, the lot
29:56I don't believe she has
29:57You did get a bit suspicious that they had
29:59Yeah, because when I, right, she's my friend of nine years
30:02Is she?
30:03When me and Andy fell out
30:04Andy quickly had to move in with him
30:07No, no, no, no, no
30:07Pictures of Facebook of them together drinking all the rest
30:10So yeah, I did have suspicions
30:11However, she said she hasn't
30:13If she has, she ain't coming back to my flat
30:16Because I put her up
30:17You don't go there anyway
30:18No, but she ain't going back to my flat anyway
30:20And that's me and her
30:21She is a bit old
30:22How old is Stella?
30:2340
30:24That's not old
30:25No, but it's too old for me
30:26Isn't that what's old?
30:28I'm 52
30:29Oh, well, maybe I can make an exception for you
30:32My, the benefits of doing this show
30:38Stella's on the Jeremy Kershaw that way
30:40Are you a lesbian?
30:52No, I'm not
30:53And I've never slept with him
30:54Never
30:54So why are you telling people
30:56And you do look a bit dodgy
30:58I've never said anything to anyone about
31:01You told her for anything?
31:01Why do you slept with me?
31:03She, she set a Facebook account up
31:05In my name
31:06I'm going to say an account up in your name
31:09Only when you're drunk
31:10You're an old case
31:13You're the one who brought on the wall
31:15Thank you, Claire
31:15My lovely tea
31:17Then you write back to yourself as Claire
31:18It's okay, babe
31:20That was lovely
31:21Thank you for having me
31:22That's you
31:23That's you
31:23I'm only
31:23What are you saying?
31:24What are you saying?
31:25I genuinely don't know what you mean
31:29Are you pretending to be somebody else
31:30To write to yourself
31:31To then write back to yourself
31:32As a person who doesn't exist?
31:33Thank you for taking those cheap nasty butterflies
31:36I'm mad because I know I'm interested in social media
31:38That's how you are
31:39If I'm on your friends list you would be too
31:42I'm mad at you
31:44You know you met
31:46You met
31:47What is a, what is a friend, what's a friends list?
31:51Well, that's your friends that you have on Facebook, isn't it?
31:54I don't know
31:55Yeah
31:55Come on, Jess, you're not that old
31:58You've done this show for long enough
32:01Do you know what a friends list is on Facebook?
32:02I don't know what a friends list is
32:04Oh, well, you need educating
32:05I'll show you later
32:07So, interestingly, probably for the first time in the history
32:12Why are you grinning?
32:13Nothing, Mr. Kale
32:14Oh, hello
32:14What are you grinning?
32:16Dan again
32:17Dan again
32:18What are you grinning?
32:19No problem, Dan
32:20Steve, you are in trouble
32:24Always am
32:25You all right?
32:27Yes, Mr. Kale
32:27Anything change from your last agreements on the show?
32:29No, thank you
32:30Don't tell the notion what you had done this morning?
32:31No, Mr. Kale, just get on with the show
32:32You don't mean to tell them
32:33No, Mr. Kale
32:35You had your eyebrows waxed
32:37You don't know who to say that
32:38He had his eyebrows waxed
32:40CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
32:41CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
32:43CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
32:45In a very first for the Jeremy Kale show
32:47You're on here saying
32:48I haven't slept with Stella
32:50I don't need to prove it
32:51And Stella came out and said
32:52I haven't had sex with him
32:53So, quiet while we're doing this
32:54I've no idea
32:55But you said it's because
32:56He's been telling everybody in Blackpool
32:57Yeah
32:58Cos he's an absolute
32:59RULU
33:00LAUGHTER
33:05To the way you were
33:08Yeah
33:09To Birmingham, anyway
33:10I don't live in Birmingham
33:11Oh, no, no, no
33:12You moved to Birmingham in January?
33:15Is that another lie?
33:16No, I ain't told you I'm moved to Birmingham
33:18You told these
33:19I'm homeless
33:19I live in the same place I did when I lived here before
33:22Came to the last show, you demented
33:24****
33:25LAUGHTER
33:26It's not useful
33:27It's not useful
33:28There's no useful about him
33:30It's not useful about you either
33:31Oh, well, you seem to think so
33:32Considering I'm plastered all down your wall
33:34No, you're not
33:35Oh, Susan this, Susan this, Susan this, Susan that
33:39I ain't even got a mobile phone
33:40Cos I dare him
33:41Cos of you
33:42Yeah
33:43Take the message here
33:44See
33:45Can you see Susan?
33:46Andy needs to speak to her
33:47She hasn't got a mobile phone
33:49Cos the one I bought her
33:50She had to sell to Catherine Burton
33:51Why don't you just leave
33:53Smash her
33:54Why don't you just leave her alone
33:56Because you're giving her
33:57I don't
33:58I want nothing to do with her
33:59Well, stop messaging me then
34:02No
34:03I'm allowed to sit in my own house
34:05And I don't expect you to be messaging my friend for me
34:08What do you mean?
34:10I don't want you to know if I have no kids or missus
34:13Why are we doing this?
34:18You tell me, Jeremy
34:19I would cover him to leave me alone
34:21To find out if she actually did
34:22And if she did
34:23What happens to your mate of nine years?
34:25She ain't my mate no more
34:26Clearly wasn't my mate
34:27First place was she
34:29I don't know I would do that to you anyway
34:32Well, Andy, have you ever, ever had sexual intercourse with Stella?
34:35You said no
34:36Why did you say no?
34:37Telling the truth, Jeremy
34:38He was telling the truth
34:39He hasn't had sex with her
34:40So that's a bit flat, that, innit?
34:42Cos
34:43Well done
34:44Cos he said he hadn't done anything
34:46But he was going around telling everybody he asked
34:48He passed every question
34:49Which means he hasn't had sex with your mate
34:51Good
34:52Now it's been
34:53I just want to say this in a very calm way
34:55It's been thrilling meeting you all again
34:57But I don't want you to ever come back
34:59No, well tell him to stop mailing me
35:01Stop mailing her
35:03And stop messaging Stella
35:04And stop messaging Stella
35:05And stop messaging Stella
35:06Nothing to do with them
35:07Well then
35:08Don't stop texting Stella
35:09Something
35:10Seriously
35:11Don't you dare
35:14Wow
35:15Stop shouting
35:16Simple right Andy
35:17You live in Weak and I live in Blackpool
35:19Yeah
35:20Where you come from
35:21Do not contact her or me again
35:23I won't
35:24Get it that
35:25Clear
35:26In your head
35:27That's a ****
35:29Bye
35:32Bye
35:33Bye
35:34See ya
35:35What are you supposed to say?
35:39I'll let you know
35:40Right
35:41My next guest today
35:42Reece
35:43He's here for an all-important lie detector as well
35:44With his partner Hope
35:45He says that Hope
35:46He hopes
35:47Not
35:48Has a reputation for sleeping around
35:50He's found flirty messages to other blokes
35:52And he came home
35:53To find another man in her house
35:54Ooh
35:55In her house
35:57Reece says
35:58If she fails the lie detector
35:59The relationship's over
36:00He's not being very complimentary towards Hope
36:02He's got a lot to say for himself
36:03Reece is on the Jeremy Kyle show that way
36:05APPLAUSE
36:10Alright then
36:11Welcome to the show
36:12Uh
36:13Hope's your girlfriend
36:14Yeah
36:15Bit older than you isn't she?
36:16Yeah
36:17How long you been with her?
36:18Four and a half months
36:19Do you love her?
36:20Yeah
36:21Why is she rude to her then?
36:22Why does she cheat on me?
36:23Still bad
36:24Let's have the story
36:25How'd you meet?
36:26Snapchat
36:27Snapchat
36:28What does that mean?
36:29So what?
36:30You were trolling your Snapchat thing and you saw a picture of a woman you thought I like and so you chatted her up
36:35She added me
36:36She what?
36:37She added me
36:38She thought I looked good apparently
36:39Now you told my team I want to expose my lying lazy waste of space girlfriend
36:46Yeah
36:47So after five months nearly it's not going great
36:50No
36:51Was it good at the beginning?
36:52No
36:53Yeah
36:54Why do you think she's cheated on me?
36:55Let's have some facts
36:56Well she thinks floating's not cheating and I've seen her floating for ex-boyfriend saying that she can share beds with him and this that the other
37:02Living with hope is hell the house is a tip
37:04Yeah
37:05I do everything she's a lazy is what you said
37:07Yeah
37:08Yeah
37:09It's not really the way to endear yourself to a woman is it?
37:11I was nice to her at first but then she treated me with disrespect
37:14No disrespect
37:15You said you can't wait to see her squirm on national television you're not coming over very nicely
37:21Have you got
37:22Come on mate give me more than that
37:23Have you seen or got any proof that she's cheated?
37:26She's admitted to me once well I found out that she cheated with another boy once already
37:30Already?
37:31Have you cheated on her?
37:32No
37:33Who's Jake?
37:34The boy that she cheated on me with also her drinking buddy
37:37She's he says she open Reese's relationships a joke they argue constantly over cheating allegations
37:43I hate him he controls her I admit that me and hope had a drunken snog but it meant nothing
37:48Reese needs to grow up and get over it
37:50Um you say I mean I'm not trying to be rude here but you describe your girlfriend as a lazy woman
37:58She spends her entire time flirting with other men she drags you down
38:02She's got no personal hygiene and she's even growing a moustache
38:06Yeah
38:07Um why are you with her?
38:11Love her
38:12You love her?
38:13Yeah
38:14Well
38:15I'm somewhat lost
38:18Um if hope fails I'll be leaving her for sure
38:21Um hope is on the Jeremy Carle show er this way
38:30To me you kissed a girl a few days ago
38:33I stink
38:34You take a
38:35Make me look like a mug on television
38:36Are you stupid?
38:37There's one that cheats on me all the time
38:38Are you stupid?
38:39Yeah one kiss and I admit it to you
38:40So shut your mouth you little boy
38:41How many boys have told me that you're sleeping with him?
38:44I admit it to you
38:45I admit it to you
38:46I admit it I cheated once and I sit
38:48Invite an ex-boyfriend over to go see your grandad
38:50This text will prove that I ain't cheating on you
38:52It's only been 18 weeks why did you cheat?
38:54And why don't you wash more?
38:55Because
38:56I do wash
38:57I'm sure you do
38:58I do clean the house
38:59Let's keep
39:00He says you're lazy
39:01He's always on his Xbox and on his phone
39:04On his what?
39:05Xbox and his phone playing stupid
39:07Yeah
39:08I'm sorry I can't talk little boy games on his phone and Xbox
39:11Why are you with him?
39:12He loves you apparently
39:13He doesn't love you for your personal hygiene
39:15He loves you for your personality
39:17Why were you kissing Jake basically?
39:22I heard a rumour that he kissed another girl
39:25So you had a rumour that Rhys was
39:26What?
39:27I heard a rumour that he kissed my friend
39:28Did you kiss her friend?
39:29No
39:30Brilliant
39:31Also she sent me a picture of them two in bed
39:32Who sent a picture of him?
39:34The girl that he apparently kissed
39:36Is that true?
39:38Yeah, yes
39:39But
39:40So you sit there like Butterwood and Mel
39:44Slagging your girlfriend
39:45I'm saying she's got a moustache and a big backside
39:47Which is patently not true by the way
39:49Just because you can't grow that moustache
39:50I might like to point that out
39:52And then you admit
39:53That you spent the night in bed with one of her friends
39:56Not the
39:57Nothing happened
39:58Not the night because I was at hers
39:59Having a drink up while she paid for it
40:00And then she dumped me because she couldn't get her own way
40:02Getting sick all over the bed
40:03So me and her friends left
40:05Do you work?
40:08Or do you just sort of walk around in sneak
40:11College
40:12He lives off my money
40:13He lives off your money?
40:14Yeah
40:15Why are you with him?
40:16Because I love him
40:17Unfortunately
40:18What do you love about each other?
40:20You hate each other
40:27He said
40:28Before I go to the break William
40:29I'm going to share this with you
40:30He said
40:31If she fails I'm gone
40:32But if she passes
40:33We're going to have a night of passion
40:35She said
40:36If he passes
40:37He better get on my knees
40:38And apologise
40:39And suck my toes
40:41Back in a minute
40:42Thanks
40:43Have you cheated on him?
40:44Nope
40:45You sure?
40:46Yep
40:47How many people think hope's a cheat
40:48But you're out of the mirror?
40:51Since the start of your relationship with Rhys
40:53Have you passionately kissed anyone else?
40:55And you said no didn't you?
40:56Why did you say no?
40:57He was angry
40:58It's getting worse
40:59Yes
41:00I need your help
41:01And I'm not leaving this stage till I get your help
41:03I want my life back
41:04Give me the chance to prove you're wrong
41:06I mean you
41:07Give me a chance to prove you're wrong
41:09I wanna see
41:10I want me kids
41:11My name is Emma
41:12And I believe I'm your daughter
41:14This is my last chance
41:16I've always thought about your getting cocked
41:28I've always thought about your getting cocked up
41:30She's got her full house!
41:36She's your grandchild.
41:39It's all this, okay?
41:40I promise you.
41:42Listen, it's all right.
41:43He wants to be a dad.
41:45He wants to have a relationship with his child.
41:48He's your dad!
41:50You will today go to Wiphamton.
41:52You are the child's father.
41:56You'll be all right.
41:57I mean, you're all right.
42:00You can change it.
42:01If there's anybody out there who thinks they can't,
42:03come and get Jeremy's help, trust me.
42:08If you're 16 or over and you'd like to be considered for the show,
42:10email talk at ITV.com along with your number.
42:13You need to text the word TALK plus your name to 63334.
42:17Text costs 25 pence plus one standard network rate message.
42:20Or you can call the team today.
42:22It's 090111.
42:23It's 123456.
42:25It costs 25 pence plus your network access charge.
42:30Thank you very much indeed, welcome back.
42:37Before the break, we met the dynamic couple named Rhys and Hope.
42:41Why are you together?
42:43Don't know.
42:43Being thrown in jail would be more fun than sitting talking to you two.
42:47He's already been in prison.
42:52Honestly, I really, I do, I don't, I can't, well, anyway.
42:57Have you cheated on him?
42:58No.
42:58Are you sure?
42:59Yep.
43:01Right.
43:01How many people in the audience think that Hope springs eternal and in fact she has cheated?
43:04How many people think Hope's a cheat?
43:06Put your hands in the air.
43:08How many people hope that Hope's a cheat?
43:10Now I'm joking.
43:11How many people hope that Hope's not cheated?
43:15We are...
43:15Did you get that shot?
43:21Yeah.
43:21Because, I mean, I'm not having a go, right?
43:24But it's not an awful lot to ask, is it?
43:26How are you, anyway?
43:27We like to do a weekly update because you've had a hard time recently.
43:29Are you all right, yeah?
43:31Are you sure?
43:31Yeah, go away.
43:32Are you sure?
43:33Why did you get embarrassed?
43:34No.
43:34Are you sure you're okay?
43:35Yeah, fine, thanks.
43:36Because I worry about you.
43:37You've worked here a long time.
43:38You haven't been happy.
43:39And we're a family.
43:40And we love you.
43:41All of us, okay?
43:41And if it ever becomes as desperate as it's beginning to think,
43:45we'll club together and buy you something, all right?
43:48Thank you very much.
43:49Thank you very much.
43:53Hope admitted to kissing one person, Jake, on one occasion.
43:57Okay?
43:57So we asked her, since the start of your relationship with Rhys,
44:00the happy one, apart from the one occasion you've just admitted to,
44:02have you passionately kissed anyone else?
44:04And you said no, didn't you?
44:06Why did you say no?
44:07I'm so nervous.
44:07This test says you're a liar.
44:09Sorry?
44:13Left.
44:13Because I didn't.
44:14You what?
44:15No, I didn't.
44:17Since the start of your relationship with Rhys and ****ing,
44:20what?
44:20Oh, it's my fault now, is it?
44:22No.
44:22Why didn't you get up?
44:23No.
44:23You've had sexual contact with anyone else.
44:25You said no, this test says you were lying on that one as well.
44:29In fact, you lied on all three questions.
44:33Yes?
44:34Can I have that, please?
44:35Okay.
44:36Told you.
44:39Oh, God.
44:44Oh, God.
44:46I love you, Jess.
44:47I'm sick of walking.
44:49Why don't you all just go home instead of make me follow you?
44:55Where have you gone?
44:56Wherefore art thou?
45:01You were right.
45:03You were spot on right, son.
45:06Spot on right.
45:07No, listen, be quiet, audience.
45:10Look, can I just...
45:11I know you're not going to listen to me, and I know you think...
45:13Stu, get in here a minute.
45:14I know you think that, like, what I'm going to say is going to sound harsh.
45:18You're young.
45:19You should be having fun.
45:20You shouldn't be in a relationship that's causing you so much trauma.
45:23Patently, I mean, I know I'm boring, he's boring as well, but at your age, just 18-ish, right?
45:31You shouldn't be doing this.
45:33I'm not saying you should be out and being promiscuous.
45:34I'm saying you should be out having fun with your mates.
45:37If you find somebody, have some fun.
45:39Be safe.
45:40Just, the one thing, help me out.
45:43Do you not think everybody's growing up too quick?
45:45Too quick.
45:45Too quick, you're 18, man.
45:47And the one way that I knew she was lying is because she said flirting's not cheating.
45:50It isn't.
45:51At the end of the day, mate, it's too serious.
45:54You've plenty of time to be serious and plenty of time to be dragged out
45:57and plenty of time to be worrying about stuff,
45:59but really, I'm not going to chase after her.
46:01She's blatantly cheated on you.
46:04But you don't need to do that.
46:07You can be dignified.
46:08You don't need to sit there and go...
46:09She's not what you thought she was, you're very young.
46:11Move on, don't slag her off.
46:13Rise above it.
46:13Be dignified and find somebody better.
46:16Yes?
46:16Thank you, darling.
46:17We'll take you with Stewie.
46:18We'll sort you out.
46:22What's she doing now?
46:24What does she want now?
46:26Do you know what?
46:27I'm going to get a motorised scooter around this studio.
46:30And I'm not jumping on your back again because I break my wrist.
46:33We stand by the test a lot.
46:35You're a cheat, aren't you?
46:36You're 22 years of age.
46:37I'll say to you what I said to him.
46:39You're both young.
46:40You're both...
46:41Why are you even in a serious relationship?
46:44Just enjoy your life.
46:45You know the test is right and so do I.
46:47Don't try and lie.
46:48Tis right, isn't it?
46:49I'm not lying.
46:50Really?
46:50Yeah.
46:51Your face says you are.
46:52Good luck.
46:53You might need it.
46:53I'm moving on.
46:58I know I'm getting old, but I just want to say this before we finish today.
47:01This is like a plea.
47:03If you're that age, just, you know, be sensible but have fun.
47:06Don't get tied down because life will no doubt catch up with you.
47:09I'm for this morning out of time.
47:10If you want to be on my show, you need my help, visit my website.
47:13The details are on the screen.
47:14To my guests, this audience, and to you four watching at home.
47:16You know who you are.
47:17I'll see you soon.
47:17Take care.
47:17Bye-bye.
47:18I'll see you soon.