Taskmaster AU Season 01 Episode 02
Fabulous Taskmaster Tom Gleeson puts five funny folk to the test, with Julia Morris, Luke McGregor, Jimmy Rees, Nina Oyama and Danielle Walker undergoing a range of ridiculous tasks for our amusement.
Fabulous Taskmaster Tom Gleeson puts five funny folk to the test, with Julia Morris, Luke McGregor, Jimmy Rees, Nina Oyama and Danielle Walker undergoing a range of ridiculous tasks for our amusement.
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00:00This is the best day of my life.
00:30Yes, hello and welcome one and all to Taskmaster Australia.
00:38Many months ago, I sent five comedians of varying levels of fame, success and hand-eye coordination
00:44to our private Taskmaster Retreat to complete a series of complex tasks.
00:49Why would they put themselves through it?
00:50The answer is simple.
00:52To win this, my iconic head recreated in pure gold paint and medium-heavy plastic.
00:58As they will be every week, our contestants are Daniel Walker, Jimmy Reese, Julian Morris,
01:07Luke McGregor and Naomi Alma.
01:13Tonight I have the distinct pleasure of watching them attempt things and deciding who is good
01:18and who is shit.
01:19It's the job of a lifetime.
01:21Speaking of job of a lifetime, look who the work experience people have sent us today.
01:26It's a younger, keener Tom, my assistant Tom Cashman.
01:33Tom too will be keeping us up to date with stats and figures this evening.
01:37Have you got some good ones for us?
01:38I do have some good ones.
01:40Two minutes and 25 seconds.
01:42I've also got 71%.
01:43And if you think those are good, just wait until they're in context.
01:47Shall we dive into a task?
01:50Our first task is a prize task.
01:52So all five of our contestants have brought in a prize.
01:55The one that tickles the taskmaster the most will receive five points.
01:58The one that tickles him the least will get one point.
02:00Two, three and four points will also be given based on the level of tickling.
02:04The winner of tonight's episode will take home all five prizes.
02:07OK, a brilliant system, terribly explained.
02:13What have they brought in for us tonight?
02:15Our contestants have brought in what they consider to be the most satisfying thing to touch.
02:21I've always believed the most satisfying thing to touch is a nation's heart.
02:26Jimmy, what have you got?
02:27I have three children.
02:29Um, and I...
02:30I would like to redact this.
02:34I brought in kinetic sand, OK?
02:37OK.
02:39This is everywhere in my house and it's very satisfying to touch.
02:43Well, long the kids are gone and I am still playing with the kinetic sand and it is very,
02:47very satisfying to touch.
02:48OK, so even when your kids are out the door doing something else in your home alone,
02:51your first thing that you want to touch is kinetic sand.
02:57Luke, what have you got?
02:58I brought in the Union Valley spot on your hand.
03:03Oh.
03:04Sorry, can you just say that again, Luke?
03:06Can I...
03:06So, this...
03:07I brought this...
03:08This...
03:09This spot.
03:11Do you realise that spot is also on your own hand and you could have sat down...
03:14LAUGHTER
03:15Sit down over there.
03:17Sit down.
03:20So, it's supposed to relieve headaches and backaches.
03:23I'm not sure about this one.
03:24You're saying it's satisfying to touch, but you're touching yourself,
03:27so you're also being touched.
03:28How much joy are you giving and how much are you receiving?
03:32You try it.
03:34Like...
03:35I don't want to try it.
03:37Uh, Nina, what did you bring in for us tonight?
03:41Uh, I brought in my ass!
03:44LAUGHTER
03:44Moulded in one of those hand-pin-y thingies that you touch in the science shop.
03:53So, you brought in a thing and you love it so much, you don't even know how to name it.
03:56That's how often you use it.
03:58Well, I don't know.
03:59What do you call it?
04:00I don't know.
04:01You brought it in.
04:02On your shelf, what do you call it when you point to it?
04:05I typed in hand-pin-mouldy-thingy.
04:07Oh.
04:08And, uh, it came up.
04:10I really hope that you like it, because there was a real pin in my ass.
04:13LAUGHTER
04:14Don't applaud you, you'll make it worse.
04:20Danielle?
04:21Um, I've brought in the most satisfying thing to touch, which is sensitive weed.
04:25LAUGHTER
04:26The leaves open up and then when you touch them, they shut up like that.
04:30Oh.
04:31Yeah.
04:31You know what, the crowd's into it, and I'm always swayed by the crowd.
04:37Thank God.
04:37It made Athletics Day at School entertaining for me.
04:40OK.
04:41You just sit on the ground and stroke those plants.
04:44OK.
04:45When you used to sit there, stroking those plants, were you...
04:48I'm guessing you were on your own?
04:51There's a few other kids like me, and if you could fit three kids around, you would.
04:54If not, you'd be very protective of your patch of weeds.
04:57She wasn't doing shot put, she was staying put.
04:59Oh, yeah.
05:00LAUGHTER
05:00Um, am I allowed to make you lose points?
05:03LAUGHTER
05:04Uh, Julia.
05:06Oh.
05:07Yes.
05:07OK, so I've got it in a towel.
05:09We weren't supposed to bring it in to the actual thing.
05:12I know.
05:12Otherwise, everyone would have touched the kinetic sand, and I would have won already.
05:15No, I brought mine in as well.
05:16Oh, God!
05:17APPLAUSE
05:18OK, what is that?
05:22That's the prostate.
05:23Oh.
05:24LAUGHTER
05:24Julia, I have to ask the obvious question.
05:31Have you touched one?
05:32Uh, I'm not legally allowed to talk about whether I've touched it or not.
05:36LAUGHTER
05:36But that's it.
05:38And apparently, boom, crash opera.
05:40All right.
05:41That's what I'm talking about!
05:43All right, well, I'm going to start at the bottom, I think.
05:46Luke's on one, definitely.
05:47Because you just described touching your own hand.
05:49You didn't even try to...
05:50Do you want me to try?
05:51I guess, I guess...
05:51All right, I'll try.
05:53One.
05:54There we go.
05:55At least I know how to de-stress.
05:58I feel like Julia I'm going to put on number two,
06:00because I feel like most of the pleasure is going to the person
06:02whose prostate is being touched.
06:04And then I'm going to put Jimmy at three.
06:07OK.
06:07A for kinetic sand.
06:09Nina above that.
06:09OK.
06:10And Danielle I'm going to give five points to,
06:12just because I feel sorry for her sitting on her own
06:14at an athletic stage.
06:16I'll take it.
06:16Danielle is off to a rousing start,
06:19but only one of our contestants will get to touch
06:21all these satisfying things.
06:23Oh, I'm ready for a proper meaty task, Lesser Tom.
06:26What have you got for me?
06:28Let's have a look.
06:28Hi, Danielle.
06:48Good morning.
06:50How are you, sir?
06:51All right.
06:51Oh, dog collar.
06:53That takes me back, babes.
06:54OK.
06:57Oh.
06:58What's that?
06:59The task.
07:00Oh, oh, sorry.
07:00Oh, yeah, go on.
07:01All right, I've got to read the letter.
07:05Let the cat out of the bag.
07:07Once you touch a bag, you must open it.
07:10Fewest bag openings wins.
07:13Your time starts...
07:14I can't...
07:14Your time starts...
07:17Your time starts...
07:18Meow.
07:20Is that...
07:20And that's now?
07:21Meow.
07:22Do you like that joke?
07:23Yeah, it's very clever.
07:26So, a pretty simple task here.
07:29We've got 100 bags,
07:30and you've got to find the cat
07:31while opening as few bags as possible.
07:33Whose attempt are we looking at first?
07:35He shares his name with Carr and Fallon,
07:37but he doesn't carey.
07:38It's Jimmy Reese.
07:41There's a cat in a bag.
07:42I get it.
07:42OK, I've got it.
07:43The cat is...
07:45Here!
07:48Is that a cat?
07:49I don't think so.
07:50Is that a cat?
07:53Don't think so.
07:54There's a bowl.
07:55And a chilli.
07:56Right.
07:57I know you, Tom.
07:59There's a pattern to it all.
08:00A koala...
08:02with some milk.
08:04And there's a chicken with some milk!
08:06There's what?
08:07Milk, milk, milk...
08:10Ice, ice, ice...
08:12Baby.
08:13What?
08:13I just thought it would be funny to say baby
08:15after you said ice twice.
08:16OK, I've got it.
08:19I've figured it out.
08:20OK.
08:21It's a game of warm, cold.
08:23Warm, cold.
08:24Chilli is hot.
08:24So I'm close over here.
08:26Dog has a chilli.
08:29So I'm getting warmer.
08:32There's a sausage.
08:33Yep.
08:34Or maybe it's a chorizo.
08:35That could be spicy.
08:36The chillies are here.
08:38There's sausage there.
08:40This one is...
08:42Can I get a drum roll, please, Tom?
08:44This one is...
08:46A cat!
08:52Yes!
08:57I have found the cat!
08:59I'm a bit worried about your palate
09:04because at one point you picked up
09:05what was clearly a frankfurt
09:07and called it a spicy chorizo.
09:10It was near a chilli.
09:12So I was like, I'm getting warmer.
09:13So you just willed it into being spicy.
09:15Basically!
09:17The kremsk, it wasn't cooked, it wasn't hot.
09:18What does a frankfurt go in?
09:20Oh, go...
09:22So...
09:23Do you have any stats for us?
09:25I do.
09:25Jimmy opened a total of 22 bags.
09:29OK.
09:30Have we got time for another?
09:31We do.
09:32Hopefully killing won't be necessary
09:33and Curiosity will just find the cat.
09:35It's Nina Oyama.
09:37So there's a cat in one of these bags
09:39and I have to let it out?
09:44Is there, like, salsa in this bag?
09:46OK.
09:51Oh, it's a bunny!
09:52That's not a cat.
09:53You can see in some of the bags.
09:54I think I've seen in this one.
09:56Ooh.
09:57No, definitely not.
10:00Oh.
10:00Maybe we're in business.
10:01Oh, shit.
10:03Come on.
10:04Come on.
10:05Come on.
10:07Is this a cat?
10:10Oh, cool.
10:11How do you feel?
10:12I feel like I won this one.
10:15I feel like I might win this whole show.
10:19Right.
10:20Yeah.
10:21You're that confident just after this?
10:22Yeah.
10:23I'll bet you $50.
10:25$50.
10:25$50.
10:25Good.
10:26Have a good day.
10:31You seem genuinely disappointed that you did well.
10:34Yeah, because I always think I'm going to fail
10:36and then when I do OK, I'm like, what the hell?
10:39Like, that's not supposed to happen.
10:41Speaking of disappointment, I don't know how you'd feel
10:44spending hours putting different foodstuffs
10:46and different soft toys in bags
10:48only for someone to just look through the little hole in it.
10:51Well, maybe you should have thought about that
10:56before you...
10:56Stats?
10:59Nina opened two bags in total.
11:06All right, we're due a break.
11:07More comedians opening bags filled with soft toys
11:10and foods of varying temperatures after this.
11:12Television doesn't get any more exciting.
11:14See you soon.
11:14CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
11:15Welcome back to Taskmaster Episode 2,
11:28the long-awaited sequel to Episode 1.
11:31We are smack bang in the middle of a riveting task, aren't we, Tom?
11:34Well, that's subjective, but I think so.
11:37Our contestants are in the middle of trying to get a cat out of a bag
11:40while limiting their number of bags opened.
11:43Nina, two bags, Oyama, is currently in the lead.
11:47Let's see some more cat hunting.
11:49Who have you got?
11:50It's Luke and Danielle.
11:52OK, cat, cat.
11:54It's not alive, is it?
11:56Are you kidding?
11:58What are you thinking?
11:59I was like, maybe there'd be something
12:02to give me a clue somewhere.
12:04Oh, right.
12:07That's a cat.
12:08That's a cat?
12:09Yeah, that's a cat.
12:10It doesn't look like it, but it's a cat.
12:11Oh, I didn't even think of that.
12:13They spell out something, right?
12:14They must spell out...
12:16Is that an arrow?
12:18Oh, no, they've just spelt cat.
12:19Oh, it's in the shape of a cat head.
12:21I'm going to go upstairs and look down.
12:23Maybe there's something I'm missing.
12:26It spells cat.
12:28And then there's a...
12:29OK, OK, OK.
12:31Oh, that's an arrow.
12:35To this one.
12:36I think you'll find the cat
12:39is in this bag.
12:42Ba-bao!
12:48Are you happy?
12:49Yeah.
12:50Yeah.
12:50Yeah, I'm serious.
12:51I said, is it a big task?
12:53Because if it was a big task,
12:54I was going to go to the toilet.
12:55I'm done.
12:55So you didn't go to the toilet?
12:57No, I did.
12:57But I didn't even need to.
12:59Right.
13:01Thank you very much.
13:01You're welcome, buddy.
13:02Here if you need.
13:03Jimmy and Nina,
13:10are you still feeling clever?
13:11No.
13:13Did you remove the arrow
13:14for when I went up
13:15and looked on the roof?
13:16Damn it!
13:17No, the arrow was definitely still there.
13:20While you were walking all over it,
13:21playing hot and cold for no reason.
13:25Just out of curiosity,
13:26how many of you thought
13:27it would be a live cat?
13:29How many of you were looking for a bag
13:30that was just, like, wiggling?
13:31I thought just in case
13:34I should find it fast.
13:36You were worried about its safety?
13:38Yeah.
13:38Unfortunately, it was already dead
13:40and stuffed.
13:40I know.
13:42Danielle, you were so quick
13:44when you did the task
13:45that we could include
13:45a minute of inane chat
13:47about you going to the toilet or not.
13:49I was pretty good.
13:51So you didn't go, is that right?
13:53I paid before nearly every task
13:54just in case, you know,
13:56because you never know
13:57if you need to go.
13:57But we shot, like, 12 tasks a day.
14:01Do you have a UTI?
14:03No, I've never had one
14:04because I keep it clean and flowing.
14:07Would you like to know
14:07how many bags were open?
14:09Yes.
14:09Luke opened four bags in total.
14:12Danielle opened the cat
14:14on her first bag opening.
14:16So there must be one more left.
14:23Maybe they've done even better.
14:26Maybe.
14:27This contestant has the same first name
14:29as my eldest cousin.
14:30It's Julia Morris.
14:33Here we go.
14:33What am I doing?
14:34Stop mucking around.
14:35Oh, no, that's a seal.
14:38I feel like it's over here.
14:40Hang on.
14:40Does it say something?
14:41A-T-C-A-T.
14:45Someone has reached out
14:46to the shareholders today.
14:48That's a lot of bags, babe.
14:49Oh, here's a little sweetie.
14:50It's a monkey, babe.
14:51Here we go.
14:52Oh, look at that.
14:54Oh, Lammy.
14:55Hey?
14:56I mean, it takes ages to get rid of him.
14:59I feel like there's a close-up over here
15:00that I can get on board with.
15:03Sweet bear.
15:04It's another monkey.
15:05Have we got time to stop for a dronie?
15:07What's that?
15:07Dronies.
15:12Everyone's talking about them.
15:13I want to see if there's any rhyme
15:14nor reason to it.
15:16So, it doesn't feel like there is.
15:19Kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty.
15:20Where's the pussycat?
15:21Where's the pussycat?
15:22Look, it could be here, babe.
15:26The drone knows he's got it, has he?
15:29Is there another cat?
15:30It doesn't have the cat.
15:31Pussycat.
15:33Where would the cat be?
15:34That's an elephant.
15:35Bear, bear.
15:36Froggy.
15:36Koala.
15:37It's a bear that has returned from war.
15:40Bear with no eyes.
15:41Grasshopper.
15:41Hi, Jackie.
15:42No!
15:44They don't call it a snow leopard for nothing.
15:47I think that's a wombat.
15:49Hello, Lemmy.
15:49Polar bear.
15:50A red whale.
15:52Oh, you haven't got nothing to this quarter much.
15:54Here we go.
15:55Hello.
15:56Meow.
15:58Who's this?
15:59Who's his?
15:59Who's that?
16:00Oh!
16:01And as for you, one last dronie.
16:06How many people are calling up for a dronie, babe?
16:09That's you and me.
16:12I could happily watch you, Julia, waving cluelessly at a drone all day.
16:17I kept thinking, well, if the drone's flying, there's something to see from up there.
16:21Interestingly enough, you're only there for 20 minutes and four seconds.
16:27Oh.
16:27You took less time than Jimmy, but you opened way more bears.
16:32How many?
16:33How many did I open?
16:35You opened 71 bears.
16:36I mean, no wonder I was tired.
16:45In last place, I think we know who it is, with one point, Julia.
16:48Two points to Jimmy.
16:49Three to Luke.
16:50Four to Nina.
16:51And the winner of the task is Danielle with five points.
16:53All right, what's that done for our scoreboard?
16:59Leading this episode is Danielle with 10 points.
17:05Okay.
17:06Onwards is the march.
17:07I'd like more tasks.
17:08Okay.
17:09I suppose I better bring, bring, bring, bring you another one.
17:12All right.
17:31This is hanging and chilling.
17:33Mm.
17:38This is exciting, this one.
17:40Call an older family member and make them hang up on you.
17:45If they suspect you want them to hang up on you, you will be disqualified.
17:51Fastest wins.
17:52Your time starts when they answer the call.
17:54Oh, my gosh.
17:57This is...
17:59It's hard.
18:04Oh, excuse me.
18:07Oh, my girlfriend's calling.
18:08And she says she'd like to see Nina and Jimmy.
18:13Okay.
18:14Oh, God, I really hope this works.
18:18Hello?
18:19Hi.
18:20Hello.
18:21Hi.
18:22Jimmy.
18:23Hello.
18:24How are you?
18:25That's a pleasant surprise.
18:27Hello.
18:30Hello.
18:31Hello.
18:32Oh, you keep coming out.
18:34Where are you?
18:35Just...
18:36I'm...
18:36I'm...
18:37Plane.
18:38But...
18:39Oh, a plane.
18:40Are you?
18:4135,000 feet up...
18:44Oh, so that's why you're coming out.
18:46What's that?
18:49Are you in the toilet?
19:08I can't even hear you now.
19:24Hello?
19:24I feel like how often you ring that relative would affect how quickly they would hang up.
19:41Is that someone you talk to often, Jimmy?
19:43Um, yeah.
19:48She's here.
19:48Is that the person you called?
19:49That's my auntie.
19:50She's here.
19:50Hi.
19:54Really?
19:54Yes.
19:55Oh.
19:56What were you thinking?
19:58Surprise when he calls.
20:00So I rambled on about, oh, I love your book.
20:04I feel like we're reliving the phone call.
20:06Uh, what about you, Nina?
20:08How often do you talk to that relative?
20:10I call my friend, Beck, who's my chosen family, and I call her all the time, and she was like,
20:13I was really worried that you were in danger, but then she hung up after, like, a minute,
20:18so I was like, couldn't have been that worried.
20:21And she's here to know!
20:24No, um, she didn't want to come.
20:25So Jimmy achieved a hang-up in two minutes and 25 seconds, Nina achieved it in one minute
20:32and eight seconds.
20:37Here's a great opportunity for you at home to call your loved ones.
20:41Make sure they hang up within three minutes, because we'll be back on your TVs then.
20:44See you soon.
20:45Welcome back to Taskmaster as we grow ever closer to finding out who will win an imprint
21:02of Nina Iyama's bottom.
21:04But first, we need to see more comedians disappointing their families.
21:09That's right, our contestants are trying to get an older family member to hang up on them
21:13as quickly as possible.
21:14This next contestant's phone number has two zeros, a three, four eights, a five, a seven,
21:19and two nines.
21:20But not in that order.
21:21Here's Denia Walker.
21:25Can't type in, Nana.
21:27It's got to be her actual name.
21:32Hello?
21:34Hello.
21:36How are you?
21:37How are you?
21:41Hi.
21:44You there, Dan?
21:49Dan?
21:49Hello?
21:49Hello?
21:49I can't do it.
22:05Hey, Nana, I can't do this.
22:07I think Nana's worried.
22:08Hey, Nana, I'm so sorry.
22:09I'm filming something.
22:10Sorry, I've got to be disqualified from that because I was stressed out and Nana was worried.
22:14My Nana would definitely think I was on drugs if I thought I was doing that.
22:16Okay.
22:17Sorry, Nana, I'll talk to you later.
22:18I love you.
22:20Bye, Nana.
22:21I'm so sorry.
22:22That's okay.
22:23Did that?
22:23She seemed like she was freaking out.
22:25I knew I'd get like 35 calls from family.
22:28You were making concerning noises.
22:30I know.
22:30Why did I do that?
22:32That was the worst tactic.
22:34Oh, boy.
22:39To be fair, you sounded like you were having a medical emergency.
22:44I was going to not say anything.
22:46And then as soon as Nana answered, I was like, I can't.
22:50I can't not say anything.
22:53And then I went off and I was terrified I was going to give her a heart attack.
22:57And then she'd call my mum and my mum would have a heart attack.
23:01And oh, I was so scared.
23:03Well, it's admirable how much you care about your family.
23:05But unfortunately, it counts for nothing on this show.
23:09I think it's fair to say you're disqualified.
23:11We're not going to give her an extra point for being cute?
23:15Beep, beep, beep, beep.
23:16I've heard what the crowd thinks, and the answer's no.
23:26All right, who's up?
23:27This next contestant loves phones so much, she has two,
23:30but won't tell me what the second one's for.
23:32It's Julia Morris.
23:35OK, here we go.
23:36Oh, that's hello, hello.
24:01It's not a great task from me, output-wise.
24:04But it did the trick.
24:10I must say, themes emerging, Julia,
24:12you seem to do the best when you put in the least amount of effort.
24:15Oh, welcome to my career, Tom.
24:18I have watched it and I have noticed that.
24:22I get the feeling that you bum-dial a lot of people
24:24because they hung up so quick.
24:25I feel like that's happened to this person so many times.
24:28I'm going to be perfectly honest with you.
24:29I am turning 55 any second, right?
24:32So most of my older relatives are dead.
24:34OK.
24:35And I thought, who can I call that's going to hang up immediately?
24:38So I called my agent.
24:40LAUGHTER
24:40LAUGHTER
24:41Her agent hung up after 17 seconds.
24:48LAUGHTER
24:48Stayed on for a while.
24:51LAUGHTER
24:52It's last call, everyone, and it's Luke McGregor.
24:55OK, I'm going to call Mum because she's retired,
24:57so she'll probably pick up.
24:59Mm-hm.
25:00And then I'll just try and wrap it up.
25:02Mm-hm.
25:04Hi, Dean, how are you going?
25:06Good.
25:06What are you up to today?
25:07Oh, just... just laying low.
25:10Not much loss happening here at the moment.
25:12Just looking up recipes on the computer.
25:15Oh, right, yeah.
25:16I mean, yeah, that sounds like something you've got to focus in on.
25:18And once you do that, you're like,
25:19I don't want anything to distract me while I'm doing that, so...
25:22LAUGHTER
25:22Oh, no, you're strapped away.
25:25Great.
25:26Are you just at home at the moment, are you, Dean?
25:28Uh, yeah, yeah, just... just... just laying low.
25:33I'm having your date with the girl in Sydney, go, by the way.
25:37Um... yeah, good, thanks.
25:39Uh, but, um, I'll see you in... in person.
25:42Well, what's the weather like up there at the minute?
25:44Rainy?
25:45It's... it's pretty overcast.
25:48Yeah, but it's down here.
25:50Just got... got dark all the sun down here.
25:53So you'd rather just go out for dinner for your birthday.
25:56You don't want us to get you something.
25:57No, I'm just... you know, with you guys, that is... that is present or not.
26:00Don't have to bring all the conversation now either
26:01because we've got to save it for that... for that dinner, so...
26:05Not that I want to get off the phone or anything, but, uh...
26:08LAUGHTER
26:09Cillia's not baby's cute.
26:12Cillia's baby is cute, yeah.
26:14They've gone down so much, haven't they?
26:16Shares have gone down, yeah.
26:17And Avatar's coming out again.
26:19Really looking forward to seeing that one.
26:21Really?
26:21I mean, the first one, I didn't feel like it needed a sequel, but, um...
26:25Anyway, don't want to get lost in the weeds on that one.
26:27You don't really see many 3D movies anymore.
26:30They don't want to bring them out.
26:32Oh, sorry, Mum.
26:33I've just got to double-check something.
26:34I'm just going to mute you for one second.
26:36Can I tell them... like, can I say, like...
26:38Well...
26:39Can I do...
26:40It's up to the task ones, though.
26:41Can I go?
26:41I can't.
26:42And that, you know, they...
26:43What did you hear for?
26:43Sorry, they've got...
26:44I've got...
26:45I'm back.
26:46Did we break up?
26:47Do we?
26:47Oh, no, no, sorry.
26:48I was just checking how much battery I had left.
26:51Um...
26:52Uh...
26:53And I'm doing pretty good.
26:55Ah, good.
26:57Yeah.
26:57Sorry, I had my Facebook hacked the other week.
27:00Oh, yeah, right.
27:01Did they post anything weird, or...?
27:02No, just sending out friends' requests.
27:06But it took me a while, because I couldn't remember what the password was.
27:08Well, don't...
27:09Don't say that loud.
27:10You never know who's...
27:11Who's listening, so...
27:12It has to be now, but...
27:14So, um...
27:14I can't...
27:15This will never stop.
27:16I'm not going to the game when I'm in Melbourne, though.
27:18Oh, yeah.
27:19It is, yeah.
27:20Been amongst the crowd.
27:26Yeah, it's just good being amongst the crowd, isn't it?
27:28Oh, absolutely.
27:30Anyway, I'll let you go.
27:33Oh, yeah, okay, yeah.
27:34Yeah, no, if you have to go, uh...
27:36If you have to go.
27:37Um, thank you for talking to me.
27:38I really appreciate it.
27:40Thanks, thank you for ringing.
27:41Um, love you guys.
27:44Love you too, matey.
27:46Bye.
27:48Have a good weekend.
27:49You too.
27:51See you, dear.
27:52Thanks again for calling.
27:53No worries, Mum.
27:53Good talking to you.
27:55You too.
27:56Bye, sweetie.
27:57Bye.
28:03Oh, don't...
28:04That's too loud.
28:08It's a, uh, it's a close race.
28:15The phone call went for exactly 20 minutes.
28:18I counted.
28:24You covered a total of 34 topics.
28:29Including the share market, the weather, Wendy Harmer,
28:32what Luke wants for his birthday,
28:33and last year's Optus privacy breach.
28:38All right, we've got our times.
28:40How do they all score up?
28:41Oh, so Danielle has been disqualified.
28:43Luke receives two points.
28:44Jimmy with three.
28:45Four for Nina.
28:46So the winner of this task is Julia with five points.
28:50Thank you, Ben.
28:53I'm going to give our cast a minute
28:55to repair their relationships with their families.
28:57See you soon with more Taskmaster right after this.
28:59What could possibly be next?
29:18What's next is another task.
29:19Apologies in advance to any trees watching.
29:21I'm coming!
29:38Whoa!
29:41Hi, Julia.
29:42Hi, baby boy.
29:43Hi.
29:44G'day, mate.
29:48What's this?
29:49I want your paper.
29:49Shh!
29:50Do the bravest thing with this ream of paper.
29:55Bravest thing wins.
29:57You have 20 minutes.
29:59Your time starts.
30:03Now.
30:05All right.
30:06Memoirs.
30:07Let's go.
30:08No, I'm just kidding.
30:09Just so I've got some thinking time.
30:11Let's make a paper airplane
30:12so you can go the furthest.
30:15Swimming with sharks,
30:16but only protected by paper.
30:18Do you have a shark?
30:19No.
30:20No.
30:20One.
30:21Two.
30:22Three.
30:25Eat shit.
30:27All right.
30:27Now the task.
30:32You could argue that it was brave of Luke
30:34to allow himself to be filmed
30:35flying such a piece of shit paper plane.
30:38Would you like to see what he did?
30:40Uh, yes.
30:40All right.
30:41I'll do you one better.
30:41I'll do you one better.
30:42Here's Jimmy and Luke.
30:45Is it just doing a brave thing holding a ream of paper?
30:48And that could be interpreted that way, couldn't it really?
30:51Do the bravest thing with this ream of paper.
30:53What does bravery mean to you?
30:55Well, there's some fears.
30:56One of my fears is actually being like poked in the eye with a spoke of an umbrella.
31:01Has that happened to you?
31:02It was just a recurring dream that just happened.
31:04In the dream, it was like, poof.
31:06Mmm.
31:07You could be the gauntlet of umbrella spokes
31:10and I could face my fears with this ream of paper.
31:13I guess if I wrapped my head in paper
31:15and I just went for a long walk, that would scare me.
31:18But is that brave to do that or is that dumb?
31:20They're not mutually exclusive.
31:22Yeah, yeah.
31:23You could go crazy and then we'll have one last one where,
31:25you know like Mission Impossible where the knife that goes like near his eye?
31:29Oh.
31:29Like that?
31:30Yeah.
31:30Sorry, I'm thinking it might be fun to have obstacles on the way.
31:34Okay.
31:35Final boss, final boss.
31:37Okay, let's wrap my head in paper.
31:39Okay.
31:39So it's a busy city.
31:40It's just started raining and everyone's getting their umbrellas out.
31:44Just draw a brave face on there.
31:45A brave face.
31:46But be quick about it because we only got four minutes.
31:47Okay.
31:48This is, this is...
31:49Is that marker safe to breathe in?
31:55What does it say?
31:56It says Sharpie permanent marker, fine point, safe to breathe.
32:01Bullshit.
32:02Okay, so Tom, you're going to lead me to the truck.
32:03Okay.
32:03And then now, and then I'll walk back into the caravan.
32:06Oh, this is a big one.
32:08Does he know where he's going?
32:09All right, don't tell me if I'm going to hit something.
32:11Okay.
32:12How much time are you going to let?
32:12One minute and 19 seconds.
32:14One minute and 19 seconds?
32:15Oh, this sucks.
32:17Just, okay.
32:19Oh, this sucks.
32:20I'm never going to make it.
32:21No, no, no, no.
32:23No, the wind's got it.
32:27Oh, my gosh.
32:29Thanks, Luke.
32:30Am I close?
32:31Kind of.
32:33Are you ready?
32:34Yeah, I'm a bit nervous, but it's okay.
32:36You feel like you're too close.
32:45Thank you, Tom.
32:51Luke, I feel like for you the bar was pretty low.
32:54Like, you seemed pretty easily frightened.
32:55At one stage you were scared of a texter.
32:58Well, the fumes were quite strong and I was worried that would be poisonous.
33:01So that was quite brave.
33:05Now, I'd say that for most people, wrapping paper around your head and walking around a
33:09yard isn't that frightening.
33:11So it was more of an internal struggle.
33:13Yeah.
33:14Once I'd sort of breached in the fumes, I actually felt quite relaxed.
33:18So, Jimmy, you just kind of did something brave while holding the paper.
33:23Yeah.
33:23Well, all the information was in the task and that's, as you said, just with a ream of paper.
33:28To be fair, the paper did really have nothing to do with the task, but you are claiming
33:31it didn't have to be.
33:33But if I knew that, it would have been way easier to walk without my head covered in paper.
33:36Actually, that's true.
33:37You could have just held a ream of paper, sat down in a chair and been anxious.
33:45Whose paper bravery is up next?
33:47They're not a four, but they're both a force to be reckoned with.
33:51It's Nina and Julia.
33:53Wait a minute.
33:54Have I got a printer?
33:55Yeah, I think we can get you a printer.
33:56I'd like a printer.
33:57Like, bravery to me is like vulnerability, which is kind of cringe now that I think about
34:03it.
34:03In terms of feeling really brave, talking about politics, I suppose.
34:08That's bravery?
34:09I think it is.
34:10I don't, so that feels super nervous to me.
34:13So, I'm leaning into vulnerability.
34:16All right.
34:17I vote left wing.
34:23Wow.
34:23I've never said that out loud.
34:24Oh my God.
34:26What am I doing with my life?
34:29I need some rocks.
34:31I'm going to do what I stand for.
34:33Okay, well this feels pretty brave to me.
34:35I could throw up on the table.
34:36I think we should be a republic.
34:41Oh, let's try.
34:43You know I'm never going to be invited anywhere again.
34:46Wait, can you just like dump them like here and then can you get more rocks?
34:49Oh, right.
34:50Yeah.
34:50Yeah.
34:51I decided to go with like a very honest, embarrassing message and now I'm regretting it.
34:55I should have just done something funny.
34:57No, I don't care.
34:58I don't care.
34:58Killing misogynists.
35:00Okay.
35:00That's probably too far, isn't it?
35:02I think the former government's caused a lot of damage that needs cleaning up.
35:05I really want to use the word.
35:07Oh my God, imagine if I just put my phone number.
35:10Like I'm self-aware about how cringe this is, but I just genuinely didn't have any ideas.
35:17Workers' rights.
35:18If the taskmaster disagrees, he's a rich white man.
35:23Here's some things that I stand for.
35:25Anyway, this is my last job.
35:29Just wanted to say I've really enjoyed my career.
35:32This is my bravest thing.
35:43Nina, was that a dronie?
35:44That was a dronie.
35:46Now, it was nice to see you being vulnerable.
35:48I think the audience always likes that.
35:50Yeah, that's why I did it.
35:51It's not because I ran out of ideas or anything.
35:53Would you care to elaborate on the heartbreak?
35:56Um, I just went through a breakup and I just wanted to say something that was like vulnerable
36:01and relatable and like, I cry when I masturbate was too long.
36:07There you go.
36:08She's back.
36:10We were worried that you were going to be sincere there for a second, but you fixed it, didn't you?
36:15I really appreciate it because we're a comedy show.
36:18Julia, people at home will be so inspired by just how brave you were as a woman who works
36:24in the arts being vaguely left-wing.
36:26I know!
36:28You know what?
36:29There's an interesting thing that happens, I think, with people who have been on television
36:32for a long time.
36:33Yes.
36:33You move from you care about the workers because you are to I've got an investment property
36:39and I need to protect that so that's going to change my politics.
36:41Right.
36:41I feel like you're mistaking this show for the project.
36:47Okay, more ream-based bravery in but a moment.
36:50We'll be back soon with more Taskmaster.
36:52Get excited!
36:54CHEERING
36:54Look, I know you're watching it now, but how about watching more later?
37:04Catch every moment of triumph and utter humiliation at Taskmaster Australia
37:07with full episodes of 10play.com.au or the 10play app.
37:11Welcome back to Taskmaster where five contestants are trying their hardest
37:21to win Julia Morris' prostate.
37:23God, I hope you didn't just join us in that ad break.
37:27Tom Cashman, get us up to speed.
37:29Okay, so like a prostate, it's kind of like up and then...
37:32LAUGHTER
37:33Our contestants are trying to be brave with a ream of paper.
37:36Just one remaining?
37:37That's right.
37:38Plucky, courageous, fearless.
37:40These are all synonyms for brave,
37:42but whether they apply to our next consistent remains to be seen.
37:45It's Danielle Walker.
37:46I could write a list of my fears.
37:49What are you scared of?
37:50That you're a kanji jellyfish.
37:52Right.
37:52Or I don't like the way centipedes move.
37:55I guess also it's pretty brave for me to go face to face with those geese as well.
38:00I might attack the geese.
38:01I'm going to go take these so I can quickly make a sword.
38:02I've got 20...
38:03How long do I have left now?
38:04About 14 minutes and 39 seconds.
38:05My mum's friend Deb, her geese kept on killing all her chickens.
38:09Like they were very aggressive.
38:10And so she offered to give them to my granddad.
38:13Do you fear your granddad's geese?
38:14Yes, because my nana said that they took a chunk out of the back of her leg.
38:17They attacked her, but she doesn't blame the geese.
38:19What bit of her leg?
38:20Just the back.
38:22The calf.
38:23Yeah, the calf, I guess.
38:25Okay.
38:26You ready?
38:27Yeah.
38:27Great, let's go.
38:30Honk, honk!
38:31What are you yelling?
38:32Honk, honk!
38:33Oh, I see.
38:34Honk, honk!
38:36Come over here so I can fight you!
38:39Honk, honk!
38:43Do you have any strategies for when you attack?
38:46Um, I'm just going to honk at them.
38:48Right.
38:49Honk, honk!
38:50Ooh!
38:51This is getting real now.
38:52It's a bit spooky.
38:53Yeah.
38:54Honk, honk!
38:55Honk!
38:57Honk!
38:58Honk!
38:58Honk!
38:58Honk!
39:02Honk!
39:07I beat them.
39:09You beat them?
39:10Yeah, they fall away.
39:11Okay.
39:12They bad down to me.
39:14Thanks, Danielle.
39:15Honk.
39:16I feel like I could judge your attempt, but I'd prefer to just hear more about a goose
39:24taking a chunk out of your grandma's leg.
39:26How big was the chunk?
39:27Oh, like, that big?
39:29Like, I guess, like, a 50-cent piece, but circum...
39:32Like, a geese about size.
39:36Well, you might think I'm going to judge you harshly, but I've been attacked by geese as
39:40well.
39:40It's frightening.
39:41They really come at you.
39:42They're going to tear you limb from limb.
39:45All right.
39:47Well, I think, Julia Morris, I'm going to put on one.
39:50Because I know that for you it felt really brave.
39:52Yes.
39:53For you to say that you were slightly left-wing, that we couldn't quite nail down.
39:57No, it was worth completely losing my career for one point.
40:00I...
40:00Absolutely.
40:01No, it was absolutely worth it.
40:02Next up, I did think that geese are very frightening.
40:05Danielle, you're on two because I think you didn't get close enough to get genuinely
40:08scared.
40:08They flew off before you really faced your fears.
40:10I went down there with the intention, and that was scary.
40:15I think it was as scary as you looking at them at a zoo.
40:20Yeah, so you're on two, and then, Nina, I'm putting you on three because you were vulnerable.
40:25But was I brave?
40:26Uh, not really.
40:29And, Jimmy, I'm putting on four, even though you were just facing your fear holding some
40:33paper.
40:33Rules are rules.
40:34It satisfied the actual original task, even though it was disappointing.
40:37And, uh, I just want to take a moment to say that I think that Luke was the bravest of
40:42all.
40:42And, um, he faced the biggest fears that we all face, and that is what's inside us.
40:49So, tell me, Tom, what does that do to our overall scores?
40:52In the lead, with 15 points, it's Nina Oyama!
40:58It's clear what everyone has to do.
41:00Let's head upstairs for a live task!
41:02Tom, I'm deeply intrigued.
41:08What's going on here?
41:09Oh, this live task doubles as catering for the cast.
41:12Could you all please put on your mitts?
41:14Oh.
41:15Okay.
41:16They have, like, chopsticks in them.
41:17That's correct.
41:18Danielle, could you please read the task?
41:20Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
41:21Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
41:23Need a hand?
41:24I don't want to.
41:25How about I break the thing?
41:27There we go.
41:29Wearing your chopstick gloves, de-pineapple the pizzas, and put the pineapple in your bowls.
41:36If you want a new pizza, you may request one from Tom C. by asking him accurately and politely
41:41in Italian.
41:42The contestant with the most pineapple juice extracted wins.
41:50Sorry.
41:52After the task is complete, we will be juicing your pineapple.
41:56Great.
41:57You have 120 seconds.
41:59Your time starts when Tom C. blows his whistle.
42:02Tom, so, like, full Italian or, like, Chris Pratt as Mario?
42:07The accent is not a must, but the Italian must be accurate.
42:12Oh, my God.
42:13Oh, my God.
42:14Oh, my God.
42:16Get off.
42:18What are you doing?
42:19What?
42:20Uh, excuse me, um, pizza, por favor?
42:24Craigle?
42:25Por favor?
42:26What are you doing?
42:27Uh, excuse me, um, pizza, por favor?
42:31Craigle?
42:32Por favor?
42:33What are you doing?
42:34Uh, uh, uh, excuse me, um, pizza, grazie.
42:40Uh, grazie.
42:43Cashman, Tom.
42:44Forza Italia.
42:45Oh.
42:46Pizza, por favor.
42:47Uno.
42:48It's-a me wanting a pizza.
42:52Let's see.
42:53Quick, quick.
42:54Tom.
42:55Get open.
42:56Tom, I would like pizza.
42:58Prego, prego.
42:59Grazie.
43:00Grazie.
43:01This is the longest two minutes of my life.
43:03Ha, ha, ha.
43:04And, uh, pre-pizza.
43:05Andiamo, Tom Cashman.
43:07Grazie, grazie.
43:08Oh, sorry.
43:09Ha, ha, ha.
43:10All right, Tom Cashman is taking your pineapple juices to the lab for some testing and measuring.
43:19We'll be back with the results soon.
43:31Welcome back.
43:32Enough with the clapping.
43:33We've got points to award.
43:35Five comedians sit before me holding five disgusting cups of pineapple juice.
43:39Tom Two, talk us through the results.
43:41So, Luke had nine mils.
43:43Did you spill mine by accident?
43:46Nina had 30 mils.
43:48She had so much bacon in her bowl that it clogged the juicer.
43:52Next we have Danielle who had 32.
43:56Julia had 64.
43:57And then Jimmy had 70 mils.
43:59Wow, babe.
44:0270 mils of liquefied pizza.
44:05I'm thinking I'm just going to play it on volume because I would hate to do a taste test.
44:10Has that done any moving and or shaking of the scoreboard for the night?
44:15It sure does.
44:16We have a tie for first place Jimmy and Nina on 17 points each.
44:23That means the first tiebreaker in Taskmaster Australia history.
44:32So the tiebreaker task is to clap as many times as possible in 60 seconds.
44:37Let's see how Jimmy and Nina did.
44:39Your time starts.
44:40Now.
44:41It's slowing down.
44:42I can't go quick.
44:43Oh my God.
44:44Count me down.
44:45Six, five, four, three, two, one.
44:48All right.
44:49All right.
44:50Okay.
44:51Break the tie, Tom.
44:52So Jimmy had 352 claps.
44:53There could have been more but some of them his hands didn't even touch.
45:09But Nina is the winner with 372 claps.
45:16Woo!
45:17Nina, warm up those fingers because you're about to touch five very satisfying things.
45:22Get on stage.
45:23They're all yours.
45:24Yeah.
45:25There we have it.
45:26Another episode complete.
45:27Tonight we learnt that the best way to find a cat is to look for the sign with a big arrow
45:35next to it.
45:36We learnt that umbrella spokes can kill.
45:38And we also learnt every single detail about the everyday life and opinions of Luke McGregor's
45:43parents.
45:44Most importantly, our episode two winner is Nina.
45:48Well done to them.
45:49Give them a smattering of applause, but don't use all your energy.
45:53We'll need that for next week when Taskmaster Australia returns.
45:57Good night.
45:58Good night.
46:19Are we ready to take flight?
46:21Three, two, one.
46:24Taskmaster.
46:25I admit there are flaws.
46:27I think this is really hard to score because they're all equally a bit shit ass.
46:32Uh, yeah.
46:37I know.
46:38I know.
46:39I know theogamy means I'm gone after things but did it drink?
46:41I thought of the book is acting.
46:42I don't see a lot.
46:44I don't see a lot.
46:45You know?
46:46You've read it for two weeks before.
46:47I know.
46:48I know the holidaynotes in the show are a couple years ago.
46:51I know there are not a lot of men or some other fats.
46:52I see it, I need that.
46:53We know how large, I can see why the Mayor at theНАЯ.
46:56Yeah, but we can see everywhere.