Taskmaster AU Season 01 Episode 04
Fabulous Taskmaster Tom Gleeson puts five funny folk to the test, with Julia Morris, Luke McGregor, Jimmy Rees, Nina Oyama and Danielle Walker undergoing a range of ridiculous tasks for our amusement.
Fabulous Taskmaster Tom Gleeson puts five funny folk to the test, with Julia Morris, Luke McGregor, Jimmy Rees, Nina Oyama and Danielle Walker undergoing a range of ridiculous tasks for our amusement.
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00:00This is the best day of my life.
00:30Yes, hello! Welcome to Taskmaster Australia.
00:37My name is Tom Gleeson and I am this country's only Taskmaster.
00:41This is, in many ways, the Sydney Olympics of television.
00:44Heroes will be born, hearts will be broken
00:46and ultimately it should bring about $7 billion to the Australian economy.
00:51And why do it?
00:52So one lucky athlete can come home with this.
00:55My beautiful head cast in gold.
00:57On the starting blocks tonight are the same contestants we always have.
01:03Dania Walker, Jimmy Rees, Julia Morris, Luke McGregor and Nina Yama.
01:13And what would an Olympics be without its Nicky Webster?
01:17It's my cute little superstarlet Tom Cashman.
01:23Our first task is a prize task.
01:25Each of our contestants have brought in a prize.
01:27The best one will be awarded five points
01:29and the contestant who wins this episode will walk home with all five prizes.
01:34Tonight they have been asked to bring in what they consider to be
01:36the coolest thing they've found on a walk within one kilometre of their house.
01:42A great prize task and a great incentive to do 15 minutes of light exercise.
01:47Luke, what did you find?
01:48Some people are lucky enough to live near a view with a nice bench
01:52and I don't live next to that.
01:55One of the people in my neighbourhood took it upon themselves
01:57to create a sitting spot with a view and I found this.
02:05I just had a thought to, because I brought in the chair,
02:08that means there is no longer that view spot anymore.
02:09So you didn't bring in the view,
02:13which was the thing that you seemed to be most captured by.
02:16Yeah.
02:16Yeah, no, there was a mistake for my mate.
02:20OK.
02:21Jimmy, what did you bring in?
02:23I go there all the time and it's a cool, hipster, wankery kind of cafe.
02:29I attempted to haul it here, but I just had to steal some menus.
02:32Here it is.
02:33Look at all the funky titles to all the meals.
02:37You can tell the baristas have long beards and man buns.
02:42OK, Nina, what have you hauled in?
02:44Well, I live 350 metres from Anthony Albanese's office.
02:49Oh.
02:50Um, so I brought a Marrickville pork roll.
02:54CHEERING
02:55All right, so talk us through the pork roll.
03:00They are delicious and, um, if they see this and want to sponsor me,
03:04I would love to get some free food.
03:06OK.
03:07But is it cool?
03:09I think it's pretty cool.
03:10Yes.
03:11The crowd has spoken.
03:12Your opinion doesn't matter.
03:14Enjoy the rest of the show.
03:17Danielle, what did you bring in for us?
03:19I have to preface this with I don't live near a beach or river system.
03:26And so on a walk I found a crab that was alive.
03:31OK.
03:32It was in the middle of a frickin' park.
03:34Oh, wow.
03:35Yeah, I just found a crab.
03:36I don't know if a bird dropped it.
03:38This is the photo of it.
03:39It was that big.
03:40Oh.
03:40Yeah, it's a pretty big crab, I thought, for a park.
03:44Were you not tempted to boil it up and eat it?
03:46Once Mum made me shelf 15 kilos of prawns at Christmas
03:49and I went off seafood since then.
03:51OK.
03:52Unnecessary detail, but I liked it.
03:54Julia.
03:55Well, at the corner of my street is one of those amazing,
03:58you know, those, like, blow-up things.
04:00There he is!
04:02You brought that in?
04:04Yes, sir, I did.
04:05But, yeah, the...
04:06Woo!
04:06It's a lot of fun.
04:07I mean, it's no chair.
04:12Which brings me to the scoring, Luke.
04:15I think you have to be at the bottom on one
04:17because it's just a chair.
04:19Yeah.
04:19What?
04:20Why are you feeling sorry for an ordinary-looking man
04:23who brought in a chair?
04:28So we've got Luke on one.
04:29Nina, it's just a pork roll and they're pretty cheap.
04:31It's the best pork roll in Sydney.
04:33But it's unimpressive.
04:34OK.
04:35All right.
04:36So, Jimmy, you're on three with your menu.
04:37Cool.
04:38On four points, I'm going to go with Danielle with the crab.
04:42Julia, the inflatable man's the coolest, surely.
04:45Five points.
04:46Yeah.
04:47Colour and movement.
04:49All right.
04:50Well, let's start digging into the good gear, Tom.
04:52All right.
04:52But I must warn you, I have a sinking feeling,
04:55by which I mean I have a good feeling
04:56that this next task relates to sinking.
05:03Hi.
05:11Hi, Jimmy.
05:12It's so far away.
05:16Well, well, well, Tom.
05:18Welcome to the dock.
05:19Thank you so much, sir.
05:21You look like a celebrant at a wedding.
05:24What's that about?
05:25The ball.
05:27Yeah.
05:28You'll see.
05:29Do you want me to go to, or do you want to catch up,
05:31or what do you want to...
05:31Maybe you just go to.
05:32Just do it.
05:34Sink the bowling ball.
05:36You cannot get wet.
05:37The fastest wins.
05:39Sink the bowling ball.
05:41Ooh, I...
05:42Oh, oh.
05:44Your time starts now.
05:45I'm glad it says you can't get wet,
05:46because that would be on my list regardless.
05:52OK.
05:53So that's all there is to it.
05:54Just sink the bowling ball.
05:56Yeah.
05:56All right.
05:57Who are you showing me first?
05:59It's Luke and Danielle.
06:00What technique do you use?
06:03Have you cricketed?
06:06OK, well, I'll just do this thing.
06:09Ah!
06:12Ah, this is not very fast.
06:17Ah!
06:19Ah!
06:19The current!
06:20Please hit the ball.
06:23Ah!
06:23Oh, my God.
06:26Oh, my God.
06:41It's not sinking.
06:42Ah!
06:43You've tricked me.
06:45Must be one of those light ones.
06:46What'd you get a light one for?
06:47Get a ball?
06:48It's a...
06:48Oh, OK.
06:52OK.
06:52So I've got to now make him sink.
06:56Oh, God.
06:57All right.
06:57How do you row?
06:58Is it supposed to stick?
06:59I've never actually rowed before.
07:00I'd just be like...
07:01How do I get into the...
07:02Sure!
07:03Tom?
07:06Tom, am I moving in the right direction?
07:09Tom?
07:10Oh, no.
07:11I wish I knew you had a row.
07:14OK.
07:14No.
07:15No!
07:15No!
07:16No!
07:17Get to the ball!
07:19Come on.
07:19No, the wind!
07:20No!
07:22I don't know if I just get stuck out here forever.
07:24Grab the ball.
07:25Pull me at the ball.
07:26Keep going.
07:27Keep going.
07:27We're close.
07:27OK, good.
07:28Thank you, buddy.
07:28Can you pull that in?
07:36Don't help me.
07:37I'm fine.
07:37I didn't know bowling balls floated.
07:39I'm going to put it in this crab pot.
07:42Let's go.
07:42OK.
07:48My bum's not wet, by the way.
07:50I piss my pants in the boat.
07:51It's not water.
07:52And piss doesn't count as wet?
07:53No.
07:54It's...
07:54That's different.
07:58What the fuuuck?
08:02Ah!
08:03No!
08:04No, no!
08:05The crab pot sank.
08:06Yeah, I can tell that.
08:14Andriza bone.
08:15Can I use the anchor if I can, maybe?
08:17It's annoying because the ball is spherical, you know?
08:20Yeah.
08:22Could you give us a quick twirl?
08:23No.
08:24No.
08:25Do you think it's possible to tie a chain around the bowling ball?
08:28No.
08:29Is that me?
08:30Yes.
08:30That is you.
08:32I'm making fun of.
08:32Quick.
08:33Quick.
08:37Go.
08:42Please.
08:43Please, please, please, please, please, please.
08:48It's under the water.
08:49Look at that.
08:51That sank.
08:52Like I said, I wet my pants. It's not from the water.
09:00So, Luke, I'll accept that you weren't wet
09:03if you're happy to admit here in front of all of your peers
09:05that that was 100% human piss.
09:08Is that fair?
09:10I'm worried I'll say it was piss
09:12and then you'll give me one point anyway.
09:15Well, you've got nothing to lose.
09:17I don't want to answer any more questions without my lawyer.
09:20So, in the end, you just put it in the sink.
09:23So, did you consider that sinking the bowling ball?
09:26Yeah, if someone said, those dishes need sinking,
09:28that means they need putting in the sink.
09:32You took a very long time, Danielle.
09:34Yeah, I fully know that because I disassembled the full thing
09:38that the bowling ball was on to try and wrap the chains around the ball.
09:41I reckon I did that for 15 to 20 minutes
09:43before I realised I couldn't wrap chains around the ball.
09:47Would you like to know how long they took?
09:49Yeah.
09:49So, Luke put the ball in the sink after 14 minutes and 6 seconds.
09:53Wow.
09:54Danielle sank her ball after 40 minutes and 23 seconds.
09:59OK, we're going to an ad break
10:01so you can consider what fine products to sink your money into.
10:05We'll be back right after this.
10:06CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
10:08Hello, welcome back to Taskmaster's show
10:20where people try to win a statue that looks like my head
10:23by sinking bowling balls which also look like my head.
10:27Does that about sum up what we're doing, Tom?
10:29Pretty much.
10:30Our contestants are trying to sink a bowling ball
10:31without getting wet as fast as possible,
10:33only it's one of those bowling balls that float.
10:36Sorry about that.
10:38I've got two more contestants.
10:40One loves pretending to be a woman.
10:41The other would be in prison if she was a man.
10:43Here's Jimmy and Julia.
10:44LAUGHTER
10:45Damn it!
10:53Knew it would float!
10:54Knew it would float!
10:57That's why this is here.
10:58Launching a vessel, sir.
11:00I haven't done this since the late 70s.
11:02Stupid Tom and his stupid task.
11:05Bitty stupid things.
11:06We're going in!
11:08I'm not mucking around, babe.
11:09Is there any eels in here?
11:11We are going in!
11:16Yes!
11:17Going with one oar.
11:19Been working out the arms, Tom.
11:21Don't want to brag.
11:22Fastest wins!
11:25Woo!
11:26Ah!
11:27I am the fastest!
11:29OK, still not wet.
11:31Come here, bowling ball.
11:34Here we go.
11:37Now.
11:38Put this under here like this
11:40and there you go.
11:43Sunk it.
11:50Is your hand getting wet there?
11:51Not wet by the very definition of it.
11:55How would you define it?
11:57Um, soaking.
11:59It's quite warm, the water, actually.
12:00It's not bad.
12:01How do you know that?
12:02Well, because it's on my knees.
12:04Oh.
12:04It hasn't gone to the ground,
12:06so it hasn't sunk to the bottom
12:08by its very nature,
12:09but it is in a type of sink.
12:11OK.
12:12Did you touch it with your hand as well?
12:14No.
12:14I row, row, rowed.
12:19That's probably my worst yet, is it?
12:21Couldn't tell you.
12:22That doesn't count.
12:23It's getting wet.
12:24Doesn't it?
12:24Well, define wet.
12:26Covered or saturated with water
12:28or another liquid.
12:29OK, yeah, I'm done with it now.
12:30Now, I'm going to grab onto some verdant grass
12:33and bring myself into the shoreline.
12:42Is there a reason we asked none of them
12:44to get into the water
12:45because that lake looked a bit disgusting?
12:47It was full of...
12:48It was Ebola it was full of?
12:49Ecola.
12:50Ebola!
12:50I knew it had something tricky.
12:54That would be crazy
12:55if it was only now we told you
12:57that the lake had Ebola.
12:59It would have made the challenge a lot harder.
13:02You seem like you're disqualifying yourself there, Jimmy.
13:05No, no, no.
13:05I think I defined wet at the end
13:07and pretty much said submerged in water.
13:10OK, well, you were wet on the front of your legs.
13:13That was front of my...
13:14..from my mate over here.
13:16He was there before me.
13:17Oh, so he did the...
13:18He pissed himself. He's admitted.
13:19He admitted that now.
13:21Oh, I'm happy to admit it if I get five points.
13:23I think I'm going to accept
13:24that everyone got a little bit wet,
13:26so I'm going to just put that aside
13:27because I think the spirit of the rule
13:28was that you couldn't jump out with the bowling ball
13:31and completely submerge it while getting into the lake.
13:33Oh, otherwise we definitely would have done that.
13:37What are the times so far?
13:38So Julia sank the ball in eight minutes and 14 seconds.
13:42Oh, wow!
13:44Jimmy sank the ball in two minutes and four seconds.
13:48OK, who's throwing some pins across the lake next?
13:52Her surname means small mountain in Japanese,
13:55but she's got a big mountain to climb here.
13:57It's Nina Oyama.
13:58Wait, what's the point of the task?
14:00Sorry.
14:01Fastest.
14:02OK.
14:02I meant there's a boat here.
14:04There is a boat there.
14:05Oh, my God.
14:06OK.
14:07Is this how you...
14:08What?
14:09I can't believe this works.
14:14Hey!
14:15Hey!
14:16Did I?
14:18I did it!
14:21It's like, you can use the boat.
14:23Mm.
14:24The catch with this boat is that you have to get it back.
14:28Oh, my God.
14:29What a time.
14:34Oh, I need a lie down.
14:36You done?
14:36I think so.
14:37I'll just double-check the brief again.
14:38Yeah, sink the...
14:41Yeah.
14:42Yeah, I'll just do it.
14:42You just go.
14:43OK.
14:44Good.
14:44What are you still filming?
14:46Oh!
14:49Forgot my...
14:51Bye.
14:53Very early on in this series, you made a bet with Tom Cashman that you were going to win the whole thing.
15:13How do you think that bet's looking now?
15:14I mean, it's episode four, but, yeah, pretty badly, actually.
15:21I really regret that.
15:22So what happened after we finished filming is we left the bowling ball in the lake.
15:26So Nina's attempt is still ongoing.
15:28Her time currently stands at 78 days, 9 hours and 23 minutes.
15:40OK.
15:41Can we have all the scores?
15:42All right.
15:42Then one point for Nina, two for Danielle, three for Luke, four for Julia, and the winner of
15:46the task with five points is Jimmy.
15:51And what has that done to our episode scoreboard?
15:54The winner so far is Julia with nine points.
15:58OK, Tom Cashman, I have a hunger that can only be associated with more tasks.
16:05Fine.
16:06I hope you're a breakfast at night kind of guy.
16:21Tom, are you in there?
16:23Yep.
16:24Can you see me by this?
16:27Yeah.
16:28Hello, Tom.
16:30Hi, Daniel.
16:31Testing, testing, one, two.
16:32Oh, sorry.
16:33That's a good look for you.
16:36You think?
16:36Yeah, you're doing something useful.
16:38Did you know that the sound man would easily be the sexiest man alive?
16:43Do you want to know why?
16:44Why?
16:44Man that listens.
16:45Oh.
16:46It's a joke for the ladies.
16:48Snap something and crackle something and pop something.
16:52Your first snap, crackle and pop counts.
16:56Most satisfying snap, crackle and pop wins.
16:59You have 20 minutes.
17:00So crackle.
17:01So crackle, I obviously want to set something alight.
17:03What's that last line?
17:05Oh my God.
17:06Honestly, it's like I've got a personal block.
17:08But your time starts now.
17:11Okay.
17:15So pretty straightforward.
17:17We're looking for satisfying snaps, crackles and pops.
17:21And your first snap, crackle and pop count.
17:23All right, spur me up.
17:24Who's first?
17:25I don't know if he's good at the game snap, but he sure is a card.
17:28It's Luke McGregor.
17:30Okay, snap.
17:31I'll be back.
17:32I'll be back with something to snap.
17:35One of these didn't make a very loud snap,
17:37but I'm pretty certain if I snap a whole bunch,
17:41it'll make one loud big snap.
17:45Okay.
17:45Okay.
17:51Luke.
17:53That was not worth it.
18:01Crackle.
18:05So that's going to be pretty loud.
18:06What would be a good pop?
18:08I can write a pop song.
18:09Tom Gleeson was a redhead
18:12But then he lost all his hair
18:16But I've still got mine
18:21I'm just worried that's my future
18:27So I'm using a lot of products
18:32To try and avoid that happening
18:34Then I roll it down the keyboard
18:36Like just sort of
18:37You kind of wrecked it at the end there
18:42Sorry.
18:44Thanks Luke
18:44See you on tour
18:46Sorry Tom
18:47Sorry about that song
18:49I think you look better without him
18:50Personally
18:51I think it looks good
18:52Luke it was a great pop song
18:59I really liked it
19:00Would you like to sing it to my face?
19:02No
19:02Are you sure?
19:04I forgot that I did that
19:05I think you've forgotten that about a lot of your tasks
19:08Yeah
19:08Was that a crackle or more of a crunch or a bang?
19:12And I thought if I just put the microphone in with the rice
19:15Rice
19:16A generic rice
19:17Generic rice
19:18Well they would make a crackling sound
19:21Would you like to know the definition of crackle?
19:23Yep
19:23A rapid succession of short sharp noises
19:25Oh it did that?
19:26It did that?
19:27I think it did no succession
19:28It was just a thud
19:29Alright Tom I've been meaning to say
19:32You look great holding the boom mic
19:34I'm just happy you have something to fall back on
19:36This whole thing doesn't work out
19:37I'm just happy I'll always have a job working with you
19:40Okay
19:41I need a few minutes to deliver some bad news
19:44See you soon for some snaps, crackles and pops
19:48And hopefully no tears
19:49Welcome back to Taskmaster
20:01Who will walk away with something someone else found on a walk?
20:06We're trying to find out by making breakfast noises
20:10That's right our contestants are trying to make a satisfying snap, crackle and pop
20:14And the first snap, crackle and pop counts
20:16So they have to do it very carefully
20:17Who have we got next?
20:19Whether or not she can crackle
20:20She sure is a crack up
20:21It's Danielle Walker
20:22Most satisfying
20:24It would be satisfying to shoot a gun
20:27You're asking me to get you a gun?
20:28There's an eggshell in the bin
20:29I can crackle that
20:31This is the obvious choice
20:33And you know I've been wanting to use this every day
20:36I'm going to do crackle first
20:39Okay, I've got three minutes or something
20:47Two minutes and 42 seconds
20:48Oh
20:49One minute and five seconds
20:53Oh gosh
20:54I'm not going to get this done am I
20:55That's my snap
20:5622 seconds
21:0022 seconds
21:01How long now?
21:0314 seconds
21:04Thank you for that Tom
21:13Another day of living my dream
21:14What did you use to make that crackle noise?
21:21An egg I found in the bin
21:23Just the shell
21:23It was a very satisfying sound
21:27Yeah, it felt
21:28I didn't see my face
21:29Were you going to take an axe to that?
21:32Yeah, but they kept banning me from using the axe
21:34Danielle's plan was to use the axe to pop the exercise ball
21:41Yeah, because you'd suspect it would whack, wouldn't you?
21:46Okay, who's next?
21:47Whether or not she can pop, she lives in a bubble
21:49It's Julia Morris
21:50Snap something, crackle something
21:53Pop something
21:54Want that?
21:55Is that a pop?
21:56Kick the pop
21:57Okay
21:58So I feel like we've got our
22:00How very dear
22:01Oh my god
22:01There's your snap
22:02But are you ready for your crackle?
22:17Thanks Julia
22:17So you lit the rice bubbles
22:29The way that you just did that straight away
22:30Made me feel like you've done that before
22:32No, but I love that stick lighter
22:35Because you can light things from a distance
22:37Should we worry about you in the summer months?
22:40No
22:40You'll never find me
22:42I'm all in battle fatigue
22:43I've got to tell you about flamethrowers, Julia
22:47Oh yes
22:48Methane
22:49Can I swap spots?
22:52I must say the snap was great
22:55Do you snap at home?
22:57Not anymore, sir, because I'm no longer married
22:58Oh, okay
22:59Oh, so your marriage snapped
23:02Ha ha
23:02Yeah, so it was a great snap
23:10But I thought the pop was a bit shit
23:11You just kind of threw that one away
23:12I just wanted to get out of there
23:13I wanted to go home early
23:14Okay
23:15Keep the snaps, crackles, etc. coming
23:17I don't know if he can snap, crackle and pop
23:19But he sure can yap, cackle and prop
23:22It's Jimmy Rees
23:23I'm thinking maybe I could snap a frame
23:27With the taskmaster in it or something
23:29Whoa
23:29I think I'm gonna
23:30I could have done it that way
23:33But I think sitting on his face
23:35Might be a bit more satisfying
23:36Here we go
23:41This is the crackle sound
23:42Ready?
23:52Pop
23:52Uh-oh, a sudden, short, explosive sound
23:55Let's try and put a balloon inside a balloon
23:58And have a double pop
23:59I've double walled it
24:24Count me down
24:3017, 16, 15, 14, 13, 12
24:35I'm feeling satisfied
24:50Talk me through the double balloon
24:52I just thought if I kept blowing it up
24:53It would be harder with two
24:54You said that sitting on my face would be more satisfying
24:58It was a great snap
24:59But it's not supposed to be satisfying for you
25:01It's supposed to be satisfying for the listener
25:03If I did it the other way around
25:04I would
25:05Your feet would be going up my arse
25:07Which I feel like is what's happening all the time
25:10On this show
25:11Okay
25:12Alright, who's up?
25:14What's been impressive about all these attempts so far
25:17Is the sounds they get on their first attempt
25:19As per the rules
25:20Just thought I'd bring that up
25:21For no reason
25:22Anyway
25:22Alright, we have one more contestant
25:24Nina Oyama
25:25I think like snapping a twig will be a good vibe
25:31It's really helpful to read the envelope
25:33Okay, ready?
25:38Oh, that sucked
25:40Oh, that was
25:41Can I do a second snap?
25:44All the information you need is in the task
25:46Okay
25:47I'm going for another twig
25:49I'm going for another
25:50I'm going to get a lot of twigs
25:51Hang on, let me
25:52Let me do this one again
25:52Oh
25:56That's a snap
26:01Oh snap
26:03Oh, that
26:04That has like a crackly
26:05Kind of sound
26:06Okay
26:06Are you ready?
26:09You know what?
26:10I'm just going to shell this
26:11This is like part of the B squad
26:13Of sounds
26:14This is crackle time
26:15Ready?
26:19Now that's a crackle
26:21That is
26:22Can I do that?
26:25It's just not very satisfying
26:26It's like a weak dog pop
26:27Like
26:28It's not good enough
26:29Okay, what about this?
26:34Oh
26:34I mean
26:36I'm going to do it again
26:37I think
26:41Yeah
26:42That's a great A pop
26:43Beautiful
26:45Okay
26:46Thanks
26:47Thanks
26:47You carried the task around with you the whole time
26:58You did and at one point you literally said
27:02It's really helpful to read the envelope
27:05You just got to trust me
27:06Like the ones that I got to were like really, really good
27:09Like they were like so good
27:12I mean
27:12You were there
27:14Like how good were they?
27:15They were so good
27:16But I get to have the first one?
27:20Yeah, they count
27:20Oh, cool
27:21The ones you said were shit
27:23Okay, well it's pretty clear the scoring for me
27:27I think Luke's on one
27:28Despite not having second attempts that didn't count
27:31Like Nina did
27:32Nina, you're on two
27:33I really like Julia's snap
27:35But the pot was thrown away
27:36So you're on three points
27:37Thank you
27:38Danielle got a really good reaction from the crowd
27:40But Jimmy got the best with five
27:41Very satisfying sounds from Jimmy
27:44Now here's something to delight all five of the censors
27:47Some bold and beautiful advertising
27:50We'll be back after the break
27:51Welcome back to Taskmaster
28:05Only one comedian
28:06Will get to take home a single pork roll to keep forever
28:10Who will it be?
28:12What's going on, Tom Cashman?
28:14Oh, not much
28:15Just about to introduce a task
28:16Here's one for the Spreadheads
28:18Hello, Tom
28:33Hi, Luke
28:34Hi
28:35Oh, what is that?
28:39Is this Vegemite?
28:40It's generic yeast spread
28:42Sorry
28:43That sounds so much worse
28:46Have the task here to open the jar
28:55Thoroughly spread this generic yeast spread on the best thing
29:02You have 12 minutes
29:05You have 12 minutes
29:05Your time starts now
29:06I mean...
29:08So not much to this one
29:14Our contestants need to choose the best thing
29:16The retreat contains many things
29:18Thousands of things
29:1918,000 things in total
29:20Would you like to know what some of them are?
29:21Play one of the clips, I reckon
29:23Right away
29:25It's Nina and Danielle
29:26If he's the judge
29:28Well...
29:30Tom Gleason it is
29:32I mean, I was going to put it on you
29:34But I figured you wouldn't like them
29:36I do hope somebody else doesn't
29:37I think I'm going to go with this world map
29:40Maybe if the whole world was covered in generic yeast spread
29:44We'd all have one problem that we could unite against
29:47Like an independence day
29:49Yeah
29:49The threat of genetic yeast spread
29:52Generic yeast
29:53Generic yeast
29:55Calm down, please
29:56A big smile for him
29:58He's very happy about the fact he's the best thing
30:00I just need to throw a suit on him
30:03The rotation stops working once you cover it in generic meat spread
30:08Yes
30:09Yes
30:10Yeah
30:11See the likeness there?
30:12Yeah
30:13Ta-da
30:15It's thoroughly spread on that
30:18Uh-oh
30:21Oh
30:23Completely clean the generic yeast spread
30:29Of your best thing
30:31Fastest window, time starts now
30:32Okay, kitchen
30:33I thought the paper would really smear
30:37But it's actually quite durable
30:39Okay, great, great, great
30:40And that's done, right?
30:41Beautiful, look at that
30:44Oh, this is actually pretty funny
30:47Oh, I'm going to fully throw up
30:49This looks so foul
30:50It's making me feel ill
30:52Mmm
30:53Are you okay?
30:56It's just the worst thing I've ever seen in my life
31:00I don't think I was the worst
31:01The best?
31:02Only time will tell
31:04It's like Moses in the reeds
31:07And that's cleaned
31:09That's completely clean?
31:10Yeah
31:11Smacked it
31:12How do you think it went compared to the other tasks at this lake?
31:15Oh, bad
31:16I think I'm like a lake guy, so it's
31:17Yeah
31:18Yeah
31:19Yeah
31:20Yeah
31:21Okay, bye
31:23Yeah, did you see the bowling ball still floating there?
31:33But hey, at least we know where all that E.coli came from
31:36So Danielle, Nina, how did you feel about my little double task for you there?
31:42Well, mine, it came off pretty fast
31:45I was pretty chuffed with it, to be honest
31:47I feel good about it
31:48What about you, Nina?
31:49Having to see it all come off in the bathtub
31:51It looked like someone had had diarrhoea in the bath
31:55Like, I cannot stress enough how much it looked like actual shit
31:59And of like various sites, like some of the big logs
32:01Stop describing it
32:02It's really hard to clean non-specified genetic
32:08Generic yeast in brands
32:11Spread
32:13Do you hear the word yeast?
32:15So, how'd they do?
32:16Alright, so Nina cleaned planet Earth in 11 minutes and 8 seconds
32:20Better than all those companies out there
32:22Hey
32:25I would hate to be a corporation right now
32:28Danielle cleaned Tom Gleeson in a brisk 2 minutes and 21 seconds
32:37More spreading please, Tom
32:38Forget Vegemite toast for breakfast
32:40This guy is really salty in the mornings
32:42It's Luke McGregor
32:45I kind of want to stick my arm in it to see how it feels
32:47I've got to do it for science
32:49I've never had a jar this big before
32:51Mmm
32:56How does it feel?
32:57It doesn't feel good
32:59Um, okay
33:02Oh
33:05I've got an idea
33:09Alright, close your eyes for a second
33:10Okay
33:11Okay, open your eyes
33:12Open your eyes
33:14Guess which one is my real hand?
33:18Tom?
33:20Guess which one is my real hand?
33:23My right?
33:24Your left
33:25Yeah
33:26Your right
33:27Do you want to try it?
33:33Close your eyes
33:34Closing my eyes?
33:35Yep
33:37Oh
33:39They're so similar
33:40Your left
33:45You actually got me
33:46How much time we got left?
33:4743 seconds
33:48Oh, okay
33:49Now, you know that scene in Predator?
33:50Get a big old globule
33:52Mm-hmm
33:53Dylan, you son of a bitch
33:56That actually wasn't that bad
33:57Oh
33:59Alright
34:00Oh no
34:01Don't be clean it off
34:02Don't be clean it off
34:03Don't be clean it off
34:04Completely clean the generic you spread off to your best scene
34:07Faster swims
34:10Okay, with what?
34:11This is not working
34:12Doesn't really come off, does it?
34:13No
34:14Ooh
34:15Go back out there for a second
34:16Alright
34:17One more game
34:18You might have to squint for this one
34:19Like blur your eyes a little
34:20Okay
34:21You squinting?
34:22I'm really squinting
34:23Don't you?
34:24Your hand is on the left
34:26My left?
34:27Yes
34:28I don't know if you squint
34:29I don't think you squinted
34:30I was squinting
34:31This is clean?
34:32Yeah, that's how it was before
34:34I had a bathroom accident
34:35That was before the game
34:37So yeah
34:38So that's human feces?
34:39That's human feces
34:40Yeah, yeah
34:41That's your?
34:42I'd prefer it if you don't make a big deal of it
34:43Because I'm already embarrassed by it
34:44And you're comfortable with that just being there?
34:46I'll wash it off separately to the task
34:47I just don't want to waste time getting penalised for what was clearly just an accident in the toilet
34:51So at the beginning of the show you were prepared to say that you wet yourself to avoid saying that you got splashed and now you're prepared to say that you had
35:06Like a poo all up my forearm?
35:08Yeah
35:09It was just unfortunate on the same day we were dealing with Vegemite I happened to get poo all up my arm
35:12The luck
35:15You know what I was really excited about? You created a task within the task
35:18Yeah, I kind of forgot what the task was half way through
35:21I could tell but I don't care because you created entertainment
35:24You created a whole other task and that was guess which hand is mine?
35:29It was very entertaining
35:31Thank you
35:32That was great, great viewing
35:34Yeah, Tom and I are going to take it on the road next year
35:37You know what the best thing is? You invented a task within the task and then you lost at that task
35:45I feel like it might have affected the result, how did he do?
35:48Well, if we accept that the rest of that stuff on his arm was faeces
35:53His time was 7 minutes and 33 seconds
35:55Okay, still quite a while there
35:57Enough spreading spread the time being
35:59It's now time to spread 40ish minutes of content out over an hour by going to another ad break
36:05And we'll see you soon with more Taskmaster
36:16Look I know you're watching it now but how about watching more later?
36:19Catch every moment of triumph and utter humiliation of Taskmaster Australia
36:22With full episodes at 10play.com.au or the 10play
36:32Welcome back to Taskmaster
36:34A chair Luke McGregor found in the bushes is still up the grabs
36:37Who do you think is going to win Tom Cashman?
36:39I am hesitant to speculate
36:41But our contestants are spreading yeast spread on their best thing
36:44And then attempting to completely clean it off
36:47Anyone left?
36:48I hope you like National Youth Radio Broadcasters
36:50Because we're about to tune into the J's
36:52It's Jimmy and Julia
36:53I'm pretty sure I have said to you Tom
36:55That you are the best thing about this show
36:58Oh, okay
36:59Better than...
37:01Right
37:02Voldemort
37:03Do you mind just laying down on this table?
37:05Okay
37:07Alright
37:08You want it
37:10You got it
37:11It's like a day spa
37:12Give you a little head massage
37:13Oh, that's quite nice
37:14That's quite nice
37:15And this is like the oil
37:17People don't always treat you like you're the best thing
37:19Don't you reckon?
37:21So this is self love is it?
37:22Yeah, yeah, yeah
37:25Oh, there we go
37:26Look at that
37:30It's quite dense
37:32Some people eat it this way, you know?
37:35Listen to this
37:38Some websites love that
37:39Okay
37:40Oh!
37:46I don't want to touch it
37:47You know your...
37:48Oh, right
37:49That's appreciated
37:50Do you mind if I just drop a bit on there?
37:51I'll just put a little...
37:52There we go
37:53Just put a little bit on there
37:55That's nice
37:56I just thought
37:57If anyone was feeling a little bit hungry
38:02Oh!
38:03This is the next task
38:05You are a cheeky piece Tom
38:09I hope the next task is a shower
38:12High five
38:14Oh dear
38:16Thanks mate
38:20Okay, stand by
38:21Okay
38:22Alright honey bear
38:23Okay, so we're gonna get that off
38:24Okay
38:25Just be careful
38:26We don't want to get it anywhere, okay?
38:27Well it's quite thoroughly on here, isn't it?
38:32Are you clean?
38:33Well, you be the judge
38:34I'm gonna have to trust you to some degree
38:37There we go Jimmy
38:38Thanks mate
38:39Okay
38:40Off to the dry cleaners
38:47Well, I don't think the show's gonna get much hornier than that
38:51There was a lot going on there
38:54Like why I would take my clothes off on television
38:57Honestly, that's gonna tell you how bad my mental health is
39:01Can you explain putting the bread on your leg?
39:03I don't think that was part of...
39:05Because you had to cover something
39:06I don't even know where the bread came from
39:08I remember none of that
39:10You asked me to get it for you from the kitchen
39:12Did I?
39:14High level trauma
39:15So you lose a lot of stuff
39:17Okay, so Jimmy
39:19I think we got it back from the dry cleaner, didn't we?
39:21Okay, let's have a look
39:22Look at that!
39:23Look how clean that is!
39:27Why don't you have a look at it Jimmy?
39:28Just see if it's up to your standards
39:31Yeah, it's um...
39:33It smells clean
39:35What does it smell like?
39:36It smells like
39:38I think it smells like Luke's arm
39:44I feel like that might affect the results
39:45Well hang on, it was on a smell test though, was it?
39:47Did everyone smell, um, Danielle's picture of you?
39:50Did you smell Luke's arm?
39:51Because that obviously would have stunk
39:53No, no, no, to be fair
39:54I'm just saying
40:03Julia, are you setting me a task within the task?
40:07Would you like to know the time?
40:08Yeah, how'd they go?
40:09There we go
40:10So Julia had a shower and dried herself and came back in 6 minutes, 32 seconds
40:14Okay
40:18My suit was returned from the dry cleaners
40:204 days, 16 hours and 27 minutes
40:24Pretty good though, it's pretty clean
40:25So obviously, Jimmy is on 1
40:26We have Nina on 2
40:27Luke on 3
40:28Julia on 4
40:29And the winner of the task is Danielle with 5 points
40:31And how has that task spread our cast across the overall scores?
40:39The current winner is Julia with 16 points
40:45Okay, that's all very well and good
40:47But it's far from over
40:48You lot, up on the stage for the live task
40:56Tonight's live task will be performed in teams
40:59Luke, could you please read the task?
41:01In your teams, recreate famous scenes from history for the taskmaster
41:07Once the taskmaster has correctly guessed your famous scene, you may recreate another
41:11You may only speak in 4-letter words
41:13Most scenes correctly guessed in 150 seconds wins
41:16Correct
41:17The team of two will be going first
41:19Ever going to be ready
41:21Oh, oh, oh, oh
41:23Grass
41:25Grass has 5 letters
41:26Grass
41:27Okay, anything you can't
41:29Okay
41:33Bam, bam, bam, bam
41:37JFK assassination
41:39Correct
41:40Oh gosh
41:43Iron
41:44Head
41:46Head.
41:47Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
41:52I'm thinking it's something to do with Ned Kelly, perhaps.
41:55Correct.
41:562000.
41:58Oh.
42:02Bugs.
42:03Bugs.
42:04Bugs.
42:04Hap.
42:05Newy.
42:07Year.
42:08Bugs.
42:11Hap.
42:12Newy.
42:13Year.
42:13Oh, that's a...
42:14Are you doing a what?
42:15Y2K.
42:16Yes.
42:16Correct.
42:17You're a genius.
42:21Please move to the chair.
42:22Oh, God.
42:23The other team.
42:32Rats.
42:33Sick.
42:34Rats.
42:34Sick.
42:35Sick.
42:36From me.
42:37Rats.
42:38Rats.
42:39Oh, like this.
42:40Correct?
42:41Yes.
42:41Yes.
42:42Um...
42:44Um...
42:47Fire.
42:48Lama!
42:50Fire.
42:51It's freezing for...
42:53Mama.
42:55Pompeii.
42:56Correct.
42:57Okay.
42:58Whoa!
42:59Whoa!
42:59Whoa!
43:00Whoa!
43:01Full!
43:01Full!
43:02Oh!
43:02Full!
43:03Full!
43:03Follow the Berlin Wall.
43:04Correct, very good.
43:05No.
43:06Bam!
43:07Bam!
43:08Bam!
43:09Oh!
43:10Puff!
43:11Bam!
43:12Bam!
43:13Bam!
43:14Bam!
43:15Bam!
43:16Same!
43:17Same!
43:18Same!
43:19Same!
43:20Same!
43:21Same!
43:22Same!
43:23Same!
43:24Same!
43:25Same!
43:26Same!
43:27Same!
43:28Same!
43:29Same!
43:30Nine, two...
43:31Oh.
43:32No cash!
43:33No cash!
43:34No cash!
43:35GFC crash, correct?
43:36He got it!
43:39Thanks for that.
43:40It was not only competitive, but extremely educational.
43:43We'll be back after the break to see who wins!
43:57Welcome back to Taskmaster.
43:59Tom Cashman, some stats and figures from our live task, please.
44:02Well, our team of two got three of the scenes correct.
44:07However, they said the word grass as the very first word of one of them.
44:12But only one S.
44:13I was using the umlaut above the A to give it its gravitas.
44:18Grass, you convinced me.
44:20I think it's fine.
44:21Okay.
44:22So they're on three.
44:23And then team two got five.
44:25Amazing.
44:26Very impressive.
44:28Alright, this means we have a winner, but let's hold you in suspense one moment longer.
44:33What is our series scoreboard looking like, Tom?
44:35Our current season winner so far, Danielle with 66 points!
44:38Tonight's episode ends with Jimmy and Julia with 19 points.
44:48We've got another tiebreaker!
44:50Alright!
44:51What's the tiebreak?
44:53What's the tiebreak?
44:54We'll be watching Jimmy and Julia attempt to honk a car horn the quietest.
45:00Just quiet, making it quiet.
45:04Where does the honk come from?
45:06I'm assuming this is the horn we're talking about, babes.
45:0835 seconds.
45:09Don't, why are you putting it under there for?
45:1124 seconds.
45:12Put your thing!
45:19Thanks, Jimmy.
45:20Can I just say, in my own life...
45:24That's what would have happened.
45:27Who had the quietest horn?
45:29By five decibels, Jimmy Reese had the quietest horn!
45:37Five things found on five walks in various urban, suburban and semi-rural areas
45:41of eastern Australia are yours to enjoy.
45:48Tonight we learnt that bowling balls can be annoyingly buoyant.
45:52And we also learnt that Tom Cashman better hope this show gets another season
45:55as he makes a terrible sound operator.
45:58Most importantly, however, we learnt our episode 4 winner is Jimmy!
46:03We'll see you next week with more Taskmaster!
46:11Out of the way!
46:12Is my butt wet?
46:13So when you read the task, what's actually going on inside your head?
46:27That genuinely broke my brain!
46:34That's too far.
46:35I can feel it.