Dave introduces a survey that asked people what things they would lick and one of the questions about armpits leads to Chuck and James both showing off their own.
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00:00I was going to play this with you guys, and when I read through all the things you could
00:12lick or not lick, I thought, there's no point.
00:16I couldn't see anyone in this room licking any of these things.
00:20We're not a licking bunch.
00:21You know us well.
00:22I do.
00:23Maybe James would lick the odd thing.
00:25Yeah, he would.
00:25But basically, they asked, this ridiculous survey asked hundreds of people what they'd
00:31lick for $20.
00:33$20.
00:34So I'll read you what it is.
00:36You guys have to figure out if the majority would or wouldn't lick it.
00:39Okay.
00:39Okay, so it's not even, yeah, it's not about us.
00:42Not about you guys.
00:42Not about whether you'd lick it or not.
00:44The majority of who?
00:46Just random people surveyed in New York.
00:48In New York, okay.
00:49Would you lick it?
00:51A stranger's iPhone screen.
00:54And you get $20 for doing it.
00:55Yes.
00:56They would.
00:57Majority?
00:58You think majority would?
01:00It's so dirty.
01:00It's so dirty.
01:01It's the dirtiest thing you can lick.
01:02Yeah, it is.
01:04You licking it or not?
01:05Are you licking it?
01:06Do you think New Yorkers are licking it?
01:08I think they said no.
01:10Okay.
01:11I want to hope for society's sake.
01:1358% would not lick a stranger's iPhone screen.
01:18You shouldn't.
01:19Easy $20 right there.
01:20I was going to say James would for sure.
01:22I underestimated James.
01:22I thought for sure he wouldn't do that one.
01:23Yeah.
01:24Okay.
01:24How about a stranger's armpit?
01:26No.
01:28Yeah.
01:28And people said no.
01:29No, I can't do it.
01:30I hope people said no.
01:3196% would not.
01:34Ooh, cool.
01:34Would not lick a stranger's armpit.
01:36Maybe for $50.
01:37Is it weird that if I had to pick between like a stranger's iPhone and a stranger's armpit,
01:45if I had to lick one, I'd go armpit.
01:48I think it'd be less dirty.
01:50I think there'd be less germs.
01:51I'm going iPhone or whatever.
01:52It would be gross.
01:52It all depends on the armpit.
01:54It depends on the armpit.
01:55But dude, people's phones are covered in fecal matter.
01:58In feces.
01:59Yeah, I know.
02:00I think the armpit would be the cleaner choice.
02:02But could you imagine that smell?
02:04What if it was like a horrendous armpit?
02:06I don't care.
02:08The nicest armpit is still gross.
02:10It's true.
02:10It's just gross.
02:14You ever see those armpits?
02:15Those people have, they got some moles and stuff.
02:16I'd lick a girl's armpit.
02:19You ever gotten eodorant on your tongue?
02:21I think.
02:22No.
02:23That's not a pleasant experience either.
02:25James had an armpit licker.
02:26Yeah.
02:26James is an armpit.
02:27I may have sampled an armpit before.
02:28I'm just saying, I think a girl's armpit would be the way to go.
02:33You know?
02:34It's way less nasty.
02:35After a fresh shower.
02:36Well, sure.
02:36I'd lick anything on the right girl after a hard day.
02:39Yeah, it has to be the right girl, too.
02:41There's lots of crafters here.
02:42I'd lick anything on the right girl.
02:45I would.
02:46If I could pick the cell phone.
02:49If I could pick the person's cell phone, I'd do this.
02:52No problem.
02:53Like, if I could, if I had to lick a cell phone, I was like, give me Lisa's cell phone.
02:58I'd lick Lisa's cell phone right now.
03:01That's a good choice.
03:02You know what I mean?
03:03Don't lick mine.
03:04And she slowly hides her cell phone away.
03:06Well, that's the best option.
03:07I'm just saying.
03:08Don't lick my cell phone.
03:09Can you just know that Lisa's cell phone is so clean?
03:12Well, you know, Lisa's has the least amount of fecal matter on it.
03:14Exactly.
03:15I got mine in there.
03:16I'm playing Candy Crush when I'm dropping like it's hot all the time.
03:18Oh, God.
03:19You've got a lot of poop on your phone, James.
03:20You can see the film on mine.
03:21Oh, dude.
03:21Yeah.
03:21Like, my phone has.
03:23Don't lick my phone.
03:24Don't lick mine.
03:25Friends.
03:26Yeah, I think I weirded myself out with the stranger's armpit.
03:29But I just think that our I've just read so many horrible stories about what's on our
03:33phones that I think there'd be less harmful things in an armpit.
03:38If I could choose the armpit.
03:41Like I said, if I can choose the armpit, it's not just like, you know, Lisa.
03:44Yeah.
03:44He's going for your armpits.
03:47Sure.
03:47I bet her armpits are fine.
03:49Don't you think her armpits are probably fine?
03:50Anyone's armpits I'm going to lick in this room?
03:52It's going to be Lisa's.
03:53Of course.
03:53You have to go, Lisa, with all this stuff.
03:54Yeah.
03:55Leave her armpits alone.
03:57We're all licking your armpits, Lisa.
03:59She can't protect her phone while she's got her pits protected.
04:01Quick, lick her phone.
04:03Lick the phone.
04:03Lick the pits.
04:05Lick her feet.
04:06Get her feet.
04:06You haven't seen my armpits.
04:07They're pretty nice looking.
04:08Oh, wow.
04:11Mine would not.
04:11Mine are coded in such a film of Jelan.
04:14Oh, I have so much deodorant on right now.
04:16So much deodorant.
04:17Yeah, so much.
04:19I'm going to say, how much would it cost for Dave to lick Chuck's armpit?
04:22I don't need money that bad.
04:24Right.
04:24No.
04:24You don't want to see this thing.
04:25Oh, God.
04:26Chuck, you got some long, wet hairs down there.
04:30You just got a glimpse into it.
04:31I did.
04:32I put a beak into the abyss.
04:33Oh, they're long and wet.
04:36Oh, God.
04:37Oh, moisture.
04:39There's moisture.
04:40There's a lot of moisture in there.
04:41Dave will never be the same.
04:43So much.
04:44We need a hug, Dave.
04:46How much?
04:48No.
04:49How much for that?
04:50God, close it up.
04:51A million.
04:52A million dollars.
04:53Close it up, dry it up, and close it up.
04:55This won't dry.
04:56No.
04:57Dave looked in there.
04:59He did.
04:59Oh, it smells so good.
05:00It smells so good.
05:02I gave him a glimpse into the Great Beyond.
05:05I wasn't expecting it to be that wet.
05:08It's moist right now.
05:09It's moist from my deodorant.
05:12It's my deodorant.
05:13It's definitely activated.
05:15Oh, it smells great.
05:16But James is very confident in his armpits.
05:19Yeah, look.
05:19There's no hair.
05:20Oh, you take care of it.
05:21Oh, you're all clean.
05:22Oh, yeah.
05:22I can't see.
05:23Oh, you shave it?
05:24I'm on the opposite end of that spectrum right now.
05:27Oh, yeah.
05:28Nice armpits.
05:30Lisa, you want to gander at these?
05:32No!
05:32No!
05:33No!
05:33Don't do it!
05:34You want to look into the eye of Sauron?
05:36No!
05:36Lisa, don't do it!
05:38I don't want to look.
05:39That was how Dave kind of reacted.
05:41He reacted like he saw the eye of Sauron.
05:43It's wet.
05:43Or he looked in that lady's eye in Big Fish that can tell your future and show you how
05:47you died.
05:47Mm-hmm.
05:48I don't have a bad eye.
05:49I don't have a bad guy.
05:50It's not good.
05:51It's not good.
05:52It's so long and wet.
05:55It's both of those.
05:58Both of those things.
05:59Come here and give it a lick.
06:00No!
06:01No!
06:01No!
06:02No!
06:04No!
06:05No!