Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about a Siberian Santa Claus who had a heart attack in front of kids and ask listeners to call-in with their experiences of lighthearted traumatizing childhood moments.
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00:00A 67-year-old person who was one of Santa's helpers playing Santa Claus, visited a kindergarten class in Siberia, Russia, this week.
00:19Santa started having chest pains and keeled over backwards.
00:25Santa, the Santa Claus?
00:27Died.
00:28Santa died that day.
00:31You get your first taste of Siberian Christmas.
00:34That's it, kids.
00:35Everything is over.
00:37Are you guys morbid enough to watch the video?
00:39Oh my god, they have a video of him doing it.
00:42Are you morbid enough to see it?
00:43Yeah, I can handle it.
00:44You can go to our website, DaveAndChuckTheFreak.com.
00:46I'm sure he was just like...
00:47Santa, Santa Claus.
00:53Santa, Santa...
00:54So kids saw this?
01:01Yes, and we're about to see it.
01:02I'm not even sure we should.
01:04Christmas is ruined.
01:05Also, quickly, I want to know, what's the traumatizing moment from your childhood you'll never forget?
01:10Jesus Christ.
01:11I mean, but not, not Jesus Christ.
01:14Is that too dark-sided?
01:15Oh my god.
01:16Tell me, help me.
01:17Oh my god.
01:18You want to put it a different way?
01:19Yeah.
01:20Well, there was this one time my uncle would give me a bath.
01:23No, no.
01:24Okay, maybe even.
01:24This is what happens.
01:25What did he do?
01:26Wait a minute.
01:26Well, he hid the rubber ducky somewhere.
01:29Oh yeah.
01:30This is what happens when we don't talk about this.
01:32This is.
01:32It is.
01:33Okay.
01:33Dave's like out of ideas.
01:35I go rogue.
01:36Okay, so the setting, okay, here's the thing.
01:39The non-dark-sided, like that, you know we don't want any sex stuff, any child abuse,
01:44so that kind of, just like light-hearted traumatizing.
01:47Light-hearted traumatizing.
01:49Right?
01:50I don't know.
01:51That should be the catchphrase of the show.
01:52Light-hearted trauma.
01:54Light-hearted trauma?
01:55That's us.
01:56Light-hearted traumatizing stories from your childhood you'll never forget.
01:59It's tough to kick something off with a Siberian Santa Claus who dies in front of kids.
02:04Okay, but listen, that's light-hearted.
02:07It's light-hearted.
02:08It's not my dad.
02:10It's not my family member.
02:11It's just a.
02:13It's not.
02:13It's not.
02:14It's not.
02:15I don't.
02:15Okay, well.
02:16I love this topic.
02:17It could be darker.
02:18That's what I'm saying.
02:18Can't wait to read the text.
02:201-855-954-6969.
02:22Look at the phone lines.
02:23Every line is down.
02:25Every single line is down.
02:26The childhood trauma.
02:26Why is there a kid dressed as a cow?
02:28It must have been some sort of play or skit, right?
02:30They were doing?
02:32Is it dressed like a cow?
02:34Oh, and uh-oh.
02:36Yeah, man.
02:37Down he goes.
02:38It's crazy how fast you die.
02:40Yeah.
02:41So if you.
02:41You're just here, and then you're not.
02:43Probably.
02:44Life is short.
02:45He's fine with it, like where he was.
02:46Yeah, he's probably like, I am in Siberia.
02:50I wish my heart would.
02:51Oh, good.
02:55Very cool.
02:56He's at a Christmas performance.
02:57You're right, Dave.
02:58This isn't a tragic tale.
02:59See?
03:00There you go.
03:00This is a fun tale of relief of Siberian life.
03:05Yeah.
03:05Someone said, my traumatizing childhood moment had to wash my grandma's dentures after she
03:11chain smoked and chugged gallons of Diet Coke.
03:14That's like child torture right there.
03:16It's time to scrub your grandma's teeth.
03:20Scrub them and get the stains off.
03:23Get the stains off.
03:24They are made of wolf bone.
03:27Wolf bone teeth.
03:33Desperandim.
03:34Dan's with us from Fort Myers.
03:36Dan, what's your traumatizing, lighthearted childhood memory?
03:39How you doing?
03:40My favorite great uncle.
03:42Actually, he was my favorite person as a kid.
03:45And back in those days, when you had a summer home, it was a cabin.
03:49You shut down your main home.
03:51Well, Labor Day, at the top of the stairs was my great uncle laying there dead.
03:57The house was about 100 degrees because it had been sealed.
04:00And he was there for two weeks.
04:02Horror movies never always seem to joke to me after that.
04:06Yes, he's dead and decayed.
04:09Yeah.
04:10At the top of stairs where he lied.
04:12Blasting the heat, he is dead.
04:14Uncle Bob!
04:15I see him, my favorite uncle died.
04:17Uncle Bob!
04:18He was my favorite, favorite person.
04:20I saw him as just a decomposing skeleton and it really stuck with me.
04:26You really want to die.
04:28Want to die!
04:29They never tell you what happened to eyes.
04:31Horror movies joke.
04:33Horror movies joke.
04:34I saw a real person and they were just oozed.
04:36Okay, let's get some more text messages here.
04:43I was about...
04:45Okay.
04:47Alright, I'm about eight years old.
04:48My mom took care of my grandma.
04:50Well, I walked into the bathroom after she got out of the shower and I saw my grandmother
04:54rolling up her boobs to put them in the bra.
04:56At a grocery store in Puerto Rico at 13.
05:02A man rode Bobby on a bike with two flat tires and a human head in the basket on the front
05:07of the bike.
05:10Human head!
05:10You have fresh groceries.
05:12Hey, Mr. Man on a bike.
05:14On a bike!
05:15What is that you're getting in your basket?
05:17In your basket!
05:18Oh my god, it's a human skull.
05:20Oh my skull!
05:23I don't even...
05:25My question though is, why are the tires flat?
05:27Why are you two tires flat?
05:29Does it really matter when there's a head in the face?
05:33No, it doesn't.
05:34It's kind of a secondary note.
05:36Does it have anything to do with the decapitation of the man's head?
05:39Like, where's he going with the head?
05:40I don't know.
05:41I don't know.
05:42Your ride was bumpy.
05:43Your ride was even bumpier for a man with half head.
05:48Is that the E.T.?
05:50Oh no, it's not.
05:52Oh, there's no Elliot.
05:58Yeah, the rest I'm seeing here are not as lighthearted.
06:02Yeah, that's bad.
06:03Those were the most lighthearted.
06:04Those were the most lighthearted.
06:06Stabbings, dead uncles.
06:08Human head in a basket.
06:09Human head in a basket.
06:11Just a fun time life.
06:13I thought the human head in a basket would change it up a little bit.
06:16Yeah.
06:16Is that a basket with a head in it or a basket of giggles?
06:21I don't know.
06:22Luckily, it's not too dramatic.
06:25It's more funny.
06:26Maybe the guy's name was Giggles.
06:29Oh, Giggles.
06:30Giggles in a basket.
06:31Yeah.
06:31Oh, that is tragedy right there.
06:34Anywho.
06:35Mm-hmm.
06:36That'll do it for right now.
06:38Yeah, probably.
06:38I guess we'll put a lid on this one here.
06:41And we'll take a break.
06:47And...