Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about horrifying experiences involving health care or retirement home facilities.
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00:00what is your health care or retirement home horror story that's the question 248-544-9743
00:14where we'll start with dylan hi dylan good morning morning balls penis penis you have a
00:20retirement home horror story yeah it's actually it's not me it's my friend but uh he was working
00:27at a long-term facility and uh he had a you know they have to shower the elderly people there
00:34and he had this one lady she's probably you know late 70s early 80s she asked him to make her kitty purr
00:42oh crap yeah oh well let me uh how would orderly andy handle that you think i'd be like i'm not
00:53doing that old woman you need to get a grip
00:56james goes three deep
01:01that kid will be cat kitty will be burning no james is number one the number one orderly
01:11he's my favorite the fat one wouldn't even make my kitty purr
01:15name's the most popular orderly at the retirement home oh you know that bush does make it look like
01:22a himalayan let me just bet your kitty just pretending it's a dog this one worked at a
01:29facility wait a guy who would wrap his poop in tootsie roll wrappers and hand them out to other
01:35patients oh so watch out for james oh can you imagine him walking around the hallways oh and i love a
01:43tootsie roll you fall for it chuck oh give me six of the oh
01:48whoa that is pungent oh my god what a son of a bitch you bastard you bastard a poopsie roll
01:59that's a lot that goes in you think he rolls it into like uh yeah you'd have to shape it you'd have
02:04to shape it so you'd have to roll it out like a like you would play-doh and then chop it oh
02:10makes you wonder what he's wrapping up in his werther's original wrappers
02:13don't take candy from that man just doing some arts and crafts yeah no one come in here
02:24oh poop tootsie how many licks does it take to get to the center of the tootsie poop yeah
02:30one oh that's it one that i would change tootsie rolls for you forever though right
02:38i mean if you ate a open one and it was a poopsie roll you would not go back to the tootsie roll
02:43i mean i feel like they're pretty solid you could probably tell right away yeah you probably could
02:49but um i will say this i think i'll really take my time every time i'm opening one now
02:55it may have already changed them for me and never because you'd never expect it'd be filled
03:01with poop until today imagine it was the long one you don't like that real long one james that
03:07comes in the white comes in the white cardboard and he just perfectly fills it up does he put the
03:15little lines in it james is dying he's gotta put the little lines in it to make it more believable
03:19um anonymous you're next with dave and chuck the freak what's your story
03:22i walked into a patient's room and just to check on her and um she was eating her leftover crackers
03:30um out of her bits and using her vaginal juice as dipping sauce
03:38what what what what what what what
03:41just shut off what
03:43lisa just shut off lisa just shut off
03:46lisa powered down lisa just shut off
03:49you couldn't pick a different story
04:03that's the best story that you've ever that you have right there couldn't be anything worse than that
04:11did you say she was storing her leftovers in her vagina
04:15dipping it in there she was taking the cracker almost like
04:18we have to we have to do this we have to recap this
04:21you know those kid snacks where you get like the red stick and four crackers and then there's some cheese
04:27she was skipping the cheese
04:29right like a dunkaroo
04:31like a dunkaroo
04:33that lady sounded so sweet too she was like well you know just tell the story and then she's like
04:39dipping crackers in her bit juice
04:41whoa
04:42that's a dunkaroo
04:44curious how you handled it what did you
04:47yeah what do you do at that point
04:48well it was like it was like a train wreck you my mouth just dropped open and i said i'll be back
04:55i did mean that's it
04:57you just left you let her in and finish her crackers man
05:00i did you gotta let them eat so
05:03oh not like that
05:05guys it can't be a good flavor
05:08oh no goldfish crackers they got all new meaning
05:12oh god
05:14it's like caviar
05:15at least it's good to know that establishment cares about the uh nutrition of the patient
05:21they gotta eat man
05:22you got it
05:23they gotta eat
05:23they have to
05:25they do
05:25all right
05:26sometimes they won't
05:27they gotta get a little
05:28see ya
05:29thanks
05:30the call that made lisa turn off
05:32she did she shut down
05:34i just
05:35you did
05:36her eyes closed
05:38her head went down
05:40i was like
05:40power down
05:41turn lisa back on
05:42lisa's gone into
05:46reset
05:47protection mode
05:48alt control delete
05:49i wish
05:52i wish sometimes on the show i could do that
05:53delete delete delete
05:55yeah
05:55oh yeah
05:55i'll never be able to delete that
05:57i will
05:58yeah you're
05:59that's
06:00it's already gone
06:01that's crazy
06:02that's power
06:03it's gonna stick with me
06:05yeah i know
06:06vaginal juice
06:07you