Horrible Histories S11 E01
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00:00Terrible Tudors, Gorgeous Georgians, Slimey's Tudors, Bar-Victorian, Woeful Wars, Ferocious Fights, Stingy Castles, Daring Knights, Horrors That Did By Description, Cutthroat Council, Bull Ejection, Vicious Vikings, Cruel Crimes, Punishment For Later Times, Roman Rotten, Rank and Ruthless, Cavemen, Savage, Peers and Tubeless, Groovy Greeks, Rainy Sages, Mean and Misery, Middle Ages.
00:18Gory stories, we do that, and your host a talking rat. The past is no longer a mystery. Welcome to Horrible Histories.
00:32Horrible Histories presents Brilliant Brain Boxes.
00:38History is filled with brilliant brains who've changed our lives with their amazing ideas, theories and inventions. And my Victorian age was stuffed with them.
00:48Charles Dickens transformed writing. I love his stuff. Florence Nightingale basically created modern nursing. You're welcome!
00:56And Charles Darwin revolutionised scientific theory. Two of them also had great facial hair.
01:02Not all of our Victorian brain boxes ideas were winners though. Polish eye doctor L. L. Zamenhof, for example, thought he'd invented a way of bringing about world peace. Spoiler alert, he hadn't.
01:16Friends, you represent the great countries of the world. And I believe that I have the answer for creating world peace.
01:24Really, Dr. Zamenhof? How is an unknown Polish eye doctor going to come up with a plan for world peace?
01:32We all speak different languages. Half of the group can't understand what you're saying.
01:41There's the answer. I believe that the world's problems are down to poor communication.
01:45So I've come up with a new language. It's simple and easy to learn and will become the language of international communication.
01:53Let me tell you a little bit about it.
01:57Any sort of fighting I abhor. We need to find a way to prevent war. And I think that language is the solution.
02:07A peaceful way of resolving things. There's no need for more battling. Here's a way to stop this confusion.
02:16Esperanto. It's a language that I created in Poland. A way that we can keep the conversation flowing. A way of talking that will only keep on growing.
02:27Esperanto. It's a simple language to unite the people. It's a way of speaking that will make us equal. We can sort our problems in a way that's peaceful.
02:38It's easy to learn. There's no crazy grammar. It follows simple rules everyone can understand. Yeah? A mixture of languages. But here's the surprise.
02:46There are some words you might recognize.
03:00Stop me if I'm wrong. I wouldn't want to offend. You're just taking a word and sticking an O on the end.
03:05I see why you've said that. There's really more to it. Don't be put off. Everyone here can do it.
03:14Esperanto. It's a language that I created in Poland. A way that we can keep the conversation flowing. A way of talking that will only keep on growing.
03:25Esperanto. It's a simple language to unite the people. It's a way of speaking that will make us equal. We can sort our problems in a way that's peaceful.
03:36Esperanto.
03:41Any questions?
03:42What was all that?
04:131066.
04:18The skin.
04:22What? How am I supposed to know that?
04:27No, hang on. How was I supposed to know that? You never told me.
04:42That's where the brain boxes of the time went to swap ideas. And it was there that Wilkins presented an amazing idea that we still use today.
04:50Just not quite in the same way he thought we would.
04:53What's the capital of Ecuador?
04:54I'm not playing anymore.
04:56But it's Quito.
04:57Oh, nice.
04:59And so, I am delighted to present to you, fellow members of the Royal Society, my design for a submarine ark.
05:08A boat that travels under the water.
05:12Now, this ark, or submarine boat, could change everything. Imagine a vessel that could travel to any coast in the world completely undetected.
05:21It won't be affected by the tides or threatened by the ice when crossing under the poles.
05:26Cool.
05:27There's just one problem, which may mean this boat can never be built. I refer, of course, to how you deal with when you need to go.
05:39Go where?
05:40I know. On a voyage.
05:42No, no, no. I'm talking about the toilet. The little dolphin's room. What do you do with the doo-doo?
05:49Oh, the poo.
05:51I'm not sure we need the diagram.
05:53I disagree. Imagine you're in a submarine and you're having a poo. Are you imagining it?
05:59Yes, I think I've got it.
06:01Good. Now, what do you do with the poo?
06:04Throw it out the window?
06:06Well, you'll be under the sea, so water would flood in and sink the boat.
06:08True, but I have the answer.
06:14What is it?
06:16It's a poo-collecting bag. It would be attached to a hole in the submarine.
06:21You simply pop your poop inside, close it up at one end, release the other, and hey presto, away goes the poo.
06:27Poo aside, Wilkins, I believe you've actually invented some kind of airlock. This could be revolutionary.
06:33I know, right? Super pooper.
06:34No, no, no, but you could use the same system to stock up with food and fuel without ever having to come to the surface.
06:39Yes, a boat could lower them in from above and you could take them in through the hole.
06:43This isn't just for poos. This could be used for everything.
06:46No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, right? It's just a poo bag for getting rid of poo.
06:51Do you want a demonstration? It's really simple. Look, you hold the bag out, right?
06:54Oh, absolutely not. Look, Wilkins, this submarine is a triumph, but your poo bags stink.
06:59All right, fine, but in the future, if you're ever in a submarine boat and you feel a poo coming on, don't come crying to me.
07:09Hey, I've had a big lunch.
07:11Oh, it's just finished.
07:15Head teacher Ruth Thomas is looking for a new physics teacher after Miss Evans' shoelaces got caught in Class 9F's rocket and she suddenly relocated to Norfolk.
07:25Welcome to Historical Educating.
07:27I'm quite excited about our new supply teacher. He was such an important scientific figure that he has more things named after him than almost anyone else.
07:38Humboldt Mountains.
07:40Humboldt Park.
07:42Humboldt City.
07:44And there's even a part of the moon called Mare Humboldtiano.
07:47Class 7F's new teacher is Alexander von Humboldt.
07:51Morning.
07:53Good morning, Mr Alexander von Humboldt.
07:56Now, hands up, who wants to help me with a scientific experiment?
08:01Yeah, Toby.
08:04Very interesting. Who else would like to help?
08:07Okay.
08:09Mr von Humboldt experiments for animals and electricity, which doesn't seem right because that's what Stephen Wilkins in 7P got excluded for.
08:18Here we have a beautiful dead bird.
08:22But who here wants to see if we can bring this birdy back to life with some electricity?
08:29Let's do this.
08:32Well, that didn't work.
08:34He's such a science legend. In fact, there's over a hundred animals named after him, like the Humboldt squid.
08:41Sir, that doesn't look very safe.
08:42Don't worry, I've done this test before.
08:45Sticking wire up your bottom is a perfectly valid scientific test.
08:51Nothing can happen to me unless someone switches on the light.
08:54Mr von Humboldt, what do you think you're doing?
09:01How would you say that went?
09:03Pretty good.
09:05Look, I don't know what the fuss is about.
09:06Thanks to my experiment, we now know that electrocuting yourself through the bottom leads to nausea, cramps, and it makes you do a little bit of wee.
09:16You're fired, Mr von Humboldt. You know the way out.
09:20I actually don't know the way out.
09:25Excuse me. I seem to have retained a little charge in my buttocks.
09:29Fascinating.
09:30Fascinating.
09:33Ever been tempted to see what happens if you attach electrodes to your bum mark?
09:38What? No, of course not.
09:42No, me neither.
09:45I can smell burning fur.
09:47At least you can't feel it.
09:49Anyways, it's no surprise that some of history's biggest brains have tried to tackle history's biggest challenges, like how to help win wars and how to save lives.
09:58Marie Curie tried to do both. What do you know about her, Mark?
10:02She was a brilliant Polish-French physicist who did pioneering work with radioactivity.
10:07Correct. And during the First World War, she used her knowledge about x-rays to try and help soldiers on the front line.
10:17You need to sit down.
10:19I don't think I'll be sitting down for some time, Mark.
10:22What's up? Marie Curie here. Scientist, brain box and winner of two Nobel Prizes. Count on!
10:29The science institute where I teach has shut because all the men have been called up into the French army to fight against Germany in this Great War.
10:38I really want to help them. So I am sending x-ray machines to the battlefields where doctors can use them to check for broken bones,
10:49pieces of metal in the wounded soldiers. Let's go save some lives!
10:56Oh, that is very heavy. Hashtag might need a plan.
11:03Okay, pas de problème. That's French for sorted. I have simply adapted both the x-ray machines and the ambulance to serve our purpose.
11:20Hashtag need to learn to drive. Oops.
11:26Okay, problem solved. My 17-year-old daughter, Irène, can do the driving while I am learning.
11:34Pedal to the metal, Irène!
11:43Hashtag Irène can't drive either. Awkward!
11:48Okay, we have made it to the front line and we are ready to go to work. Lieutenant, if you can just...
12:01Okay, so I have only really taught about x-rays. I haven't really used the machines before as such.
12:10Hashtag just because I'm brilliant doesn't mean I know everything. Hashtag am I right?
12:17Well, everything has settled down a bit and I have organized 200 battlefield x-ray units and 20 of these mobile x-ray ambulances.
12:28They've even called them little curies after me. So cute! So I think I can say I have done my bit. Au revoir!
12:36Come on, little curie away!
12:42Hashtag still not completely sure about the driving!
12:48Well, Dr. Skinner, we're hoping you've come up with something that will help us to defeat the Nazis.
12:55Gentlemen, I believe I have. A massive advance in missile accuracy. Piloted missiles.
13:02Piloted? Who would be stupid enough to pilot a missile that was going to explode?
13:08Gentlemen, meet your new pilot.
13:17You want a pigeon to fly the bomb?
13:20Of course not. I want three pigeons to fly the bomb.
13:25Gentlemen, each pigeon harnessed inside the missile has been trained to peck at the target when they see it.
13:32This pecking transmits a signal via the bird's beak which controls the bomb's tail fins and directs it towards the target.
13:40Oh, nein! You've destroyed my Nazi battleship! Who'd have suspected a pigeon? Somebody give Skinner a promotion!
13:49Are we being pranked? Do you want us to entrust the war to birds?
13:54These are no ordinary birds, sir. My pigeons are graduates of the Skinner School of Aviation.
14:00You created a flying school for pigeons?
14:03Well, they're not going to train themselves, are they? Who is this guy?
14:07Let me show you something.
14:10What are you doing?
14:12A demonstration, sir. Each pigeon has been trained to ignore the distractions of war.
14:18My eyes! My eyes!
14:21See? It didn't even flinch!
14:23Thank you, Dr. Skinner. We have heard enough. I'm sorry to disappoint you, but it's a terrible idea.
14:29I'm sure implementing your pigeon plan would have been a real coup.
14:33And I don't want you to get in a flat, but it's time for you and your pigeons to take off.
14:41Hey, where'd that pigeon go?
14:47I told you they were trained to hit enemy targets.
14:51Okay, so not all wartime ideas were winners. You know, Mark, some people say pigeons are like rats with wings.
15:00Talk about a compliment! I'd make a great pigeon.
15:10Let's move on to a brilliant wartime brain who really did change all our lives. Alan Turing.
15:16Oh, good call! He helped crack an unbreakable Nazi code in World War II and turn the tide of the war.
15:23However, not everything this genius did was quite as clever.
15:30You know, I didn't expect Alan Turing, one of the geniuses who cracked the secret Nazi code, a top computing wizard, to be quite so eccentric.
15:41What do you mean, eccentric?
15:43Well, at work, you keep your mug chained to a radiator.
15:47That's not eccentric. That's clever. It means I know exactly where my mug is at all times.
15:52And you hold your trousers up with string.
15:55Of course I do. They fall down without it.
15:57One time, I saw you cycle to work wearing a gas mask.
16:01And that's to stop me getting hay fever.
16:03And it works.
16:05Then there's the fact you've got us pushing an empty baby buggy around the woods.
16:09I've got to put the treasure in something when I find it, haven't I?
16:13Treasure?
16:14Yes. You see, back in 1940, I discovered that silver would be worth more after the war.
16:19Okay.
16:21And so I took my life savings and converted them into two heavy silver ingots.
16:25Now that is clever.
16:27I then came into the woods, buried the silver, and now we are going to dig it up again.
16:33And do you remember where you buried it?
16:35That's the cleverest part. I don't need to.
16:38I designed a code to tell me where the treasure is.
16:42And it's so devilishly difficult that only I can crack it.
16:46All I need to do is solve the code, and we'll know where the silver's buried.
16:53Well, what does the code say?
16:54Um, just a minute.
16:57You can't crack the code, can you?
17:00Of course I can. I've cracked some of the most fiendish codes ever created.
17:04What, you really think I can't crack my own code?
17:06Oh, I'm fine. I haven't a clue.
17:10Curse pass me for being cleverer than future me.
17:13Let's hire a metal detector.
17:15No. I remember it was by a big tree.
17:25Would you like me to get that metal detector?
17:28Yes, please.
17:31And a belt.
17:35Ni hao. Confucius here.
17:38Teacher, philosopher, writer of nifty sayings such as,
17:43In the wind blows, the grass bends.
17:46But what you may not know is I also turned my mind to the serious subject of booze.
17:52Confucius loves nom-noms!
17:54I have some very strong views such as,
17:57You should always eat meat with its proper sauce.
18:01No sauce, no meat!
18:03And, of course, I hate peaches!
18:07No!
18:09Seriously, say no to peaches! Start with peaches!
18:14Oh, no, wait. It's a plum.
18:16It's a peach! Love the plum!
18:18Panic over.
18:23Hi, I'm Buzz Aldrin and I walked on the moon.
18:28That wouldn't have been possible without brain boxes studying the stars and working out how to get me there.
18:34As far back as the ancient Greek times, people were staring up at the heavens and trying to understand how space might work.
18:42Although the people around them at the time weren't always ready to understand their genius.
18:47I wish they'd also thought of a way of letting those out of a space suit.
18:53Attention, people of Thessaly!
18:55I, Aglaonis, have been studying the moon as I helped develop a science called astronomy.
19:01Astrono-what?
19:03The science of the stars.
19:05And today I'm able to give you the perfect example of the uses of this science.
19:09Yay!
19:11Can you juggle? There was a juggler last week.
19:13Oh, he was great.
19:15Top class entertainer.
19:17No, no, but this is much more exciting than juggling.
19:18Using astronomy, I can predict when there will be a full moon and I can predict a lunar eclipse.
19:25What? Like when the moon disappears or changes colour?
19:28Sure you can.
19:30I predict that there will be a lunar eclipse right now.
19:38See? Astronomy is pretty cool, right?
19:41She's changed the moon!
19:44What? No!
19:45I just told you when it would change. It's going to be back to normal in a second.
19:50See?
19:52She's a moon witch!
19:54Oh, please, don't use your moon witch powers against us!
19:58I'm not a witch. I just love astronomy. And I'm, like, really clever.
20:02You wouldn't act like this if I was a man.
20:04That's exactly what a moon witch would say!
20:07Please do not hurt us, moon witch!
20:10Look, let me explain.
20:12Her face is gone!
20:13She's gone and vanished it with her moon witchy powers.
20:16What?
20:18Her face is back! It was gone, now it's back!
20:20She can make her face go and come at will.
20:22Right, come on, guys. This is silly.
20:24Stop worrying about moon powers.
20:27Thank you!
20:29If we worship her, she may use her powers for good.
20:33I'm not a moon witch!
20:35I'm just an astronomer who's devoted years to understanding the stars.
20:39We have angered her.
20:40We have angered her!
20:42Tell us about your astronomy, if it will so please you, old moon witch!
20:46Tell us your boring information!
20:48Okay, it's quite simple, really.
20:50The moon, it goes through several of what we call phases.
20:54Starting with the new moon, and then the first quarter, and then...
20:59Shall we see if that juggler's on somewhere else?
21:02All of which are controlled with my moony witchy powers.
21:05She's going to turn us all into moon frogs!
21:09At least they're listening, I guess.
21:17Hi, I'm Katherine Johnson, and my marvellous mind helped me graduate from college
21:22with degrees in math and French at just 18 years old.
21:26Big brain!
21:28I believe that mathematics is out of this world,
21:30which is why I joined the American space agency, NASA.
21:34It's literally rocky science!
21:35I worked on the mathematics of space flight,
21:38and helped NASA to launch a rocket to orbit the Earth,
21:41and then land on the moon.
21:43Moon time, baby!
21:45I was so good at math, the astronaut John Glenn said my mom was smarter than a computer.
21:49Before his 1962 mission to orbit the Earth,
21:52he refused to fly until I had personally double-checked the computer's calculations.
21:57Although, if I am really smarter than a computer,
22:01how come I can never win this game?
22:04Just five more minutes, then I will definitely get back to work.
22:08Probably.
22:34Please welcome today's historical figure who really needs the loo,
22:38Ada Lovelace!
22:45Greetings, friend.
22:47What is this?
22:49Are you Ada Lovelace, the super-brainy 19th century writer and mathematician?
22:53Yes, but...
22:55Then I am Loomay.
22:59I'm sorry, I was under the impression that this was a joke.
23:01I'm sorry, I was under the impression that this was the little mathematician's room.
23:05I really, really need to...
23:07Ada Lovelace, you have, by means we do not need to go into right now,
23:11travelled through time from the 19th century
23:14to use my first-rate toilet facility.
23:18Oh, marvellous. Where are they?
23:20Well, that's them.
23:22People are usually quite impressed by them.
23:24Answer questions one and two, and I'll let you do a...
23:28It's plot quiz time!
23:31What?
23:33Mathematician Ada Lovelace,
23:35you must answer two questions about your life before you may work out
23:38your pressing logarithm.
23:40I can just get on with it.
23:42Mission number one, what is your weirdest secret?
23:45Well, when I was a teenager, I developed an irrational fear of beds,
23:49and so I stepped on the floor.
23:51That is pretty weird.
23:53Question number two, tell us a little-known fact about you, Ada Lovelace.
23:57Well, I worked with my friend, the inventor Charles Babbage.
23:59I described how he could programme his computational machine
24:03to solve complex calculations.
24:05Charles Babbage is remembered as the inventor of something called a computer.
24:10And you're remembered as one of the first computer programmers.
24:14Yes, that's right. I've done your questions now. I'm going away.
24:17You may go.
24:19Join us next time, when I'll be stopping more historical celebs
24:23from doing a poo to ask questions just for you.
24:30Your ones and twos are really adding up there, Ada.
24:35Strange guy, Lou, man. We've got something in common, you know.
24:39Is it the smell?
24:41No, we both look good in a cape.
24:43What do you mean, the smell? Charming.
24:45Well, you do live in the sewer.
24:47That's fair. Well, we've come to the end,
24:49and I suppose the best advice if you want to be a brilliant brain like that lot
24:53is to try your best.
24:55Be creative. Think outside the box.
24:59Be as unusual as you like.
25:01This lady certainly did that.
25:0312th century German nun Hildegard von Bingen
25:06was a brainy pioneer who did a bit of everything.
25:09She's like none other, Mark.
25:12You know, because she's a nun.
25:14That's a terrible joke. Don't make a habit of it.
25:17Since the age of seven
25:20I've been living in a nunnery
25:23Hildegard von Bingen, that is me
25:26I'm quite brainy
25:29Cos I feel inspired
25:32So many ideas bursting through
25:35My brain hums with things to do
25:38Every day
25:41I'm quite brainy
25:43Every day
25:46I look around and
25:48The sick need meds to cure them
25:51I'll write mine down in book form
25:54Let's spread our knowledge round the world
25:58And I say, ooh
26:01I'm guided by insights
26:04My mind is firing
26:06I thought you'd let this down
26:09And I say, ooh
26:12So many books to write
26:15Got to share all of this
26:17Knowledge that I've found
26:20For a bit of fun
26:23I made up a secret language
26:26Die Tostermutig
26:29Coolity
26:31And music is my thing
26:34I write hymns and chants to sing
26:37Their first musical morality play
26:39Ja, I stay
26:42I look around and
26:44The natural world astounds me
26:47No doubt all that surrounds me
26:50Think I covered everything
26:54And I say, ooh
26:57My mind is feeling bright
27:00Yes, I'm a woman
27:02But I've got knowledge too
27:05I'm writing letters every day
27:07Letters every day
27:09To throats and emperors to say
27:11Emperors to say
27:13If you listen I can show you a better day
27:16And I say, ooh
27:19I'm guided by insights
27:22My mind is firing
27:24Hope I'm inspiring you
27:27And I say, ooh
27:30The future's looking bright
27:33If we can think it
27:34We could make it true