Drag.House.Rules.S01 E01
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00:00This season on Drag House Rules, tempers flare, passions ignite, hearts break, and medical
00:10emergencies occur.
00:13As seven queens fight for their chance at a prize package worth $100,000, each episode
00:20the queens will vote to eliminate one of their own until only one queen remains.
00:26Buckle up for a killer season of the most explosive show on television.
00:32I'm your host Claymore Jones, and this is Drag House Rules.
00:36Cut.
00:37Can we do that again?
00:39Again?
00:40Yeah, I just think it should be, and this is Drag House Rules.
00:45You know, this is going to be like our procedural thing every episode, so I really want to nail it.
01:26You nailed it.
01:38Anticipation fills the air as our contestants arrive one by one to their new homes.
01:44Yes, God, honey, the queen of green is here to get lit, okurrr.
01:53Yes, God, honey, it's your girl, Miss Laganja Estranja,
01:56most known from RuPaul's Drag Race,
01:58but I prefer to be known for my charity work.
02:01What work is that?
02:03Evangelizing cannabis to the masses, duh.
02:07Hello?
02:11Hello?
02:13First girl in the house.
02:14Uh, it's a little small,
02:17but I'm excited to see what it brings.
02:19Mabuhay!
02:21Hi!
02:23I'm Anil Luzon from Drag Race season three,
02:25all stars one, all stars four, and Drag Den.
02:28Salama pose.
02:31I thought my reality TV days were far behind me,
02:34but let me tell you,
02:35it's incredible what TV can do for your sex life.
02:38You can be a survivor, the bachelorette.
02:41You can be even a focus on an episode of Hoarders.
02:45Douches love to boink a bitch on TV.
02:47You're welcome, bitches.
02:49Yes!
02:51Oh, hey, girl!
02:52Hey, sis!
02:54It's so good to see a familiar face.
02:57Likewise, and what a beautiful face.
03:01If brains were dynamite,
03:02she wouldn't have enough to blow her nose.
03:05Is that yours?
03:07Yeah, yeah, the hospitality here is questionable.
03:11Yeah, but very close.
03:14Who's jonesing for a mustache ride?
03:16Hey, y'all, it's me, Bitch Puddin,
03:18winner of Draguless season two,
03:19and I walk in and I don't know any of these bitches.
03:22Oh, hey, girl!
03:24Hi!
03:25Who is that?
03:26No idea.
03:27If I know anything,
03:29it's that I know how to make friends.
03:34Okay.
03:34Oh.
03:35Mm-hmm.
03:36Oh.
03:37Oh.
03:38Oh.
03:39Oh.
03:39Oh.
03:40Oh.
03:41Oh.
03:42Mm-hmm.
03:43This house is nice.
03:44It's a lot more budget, I feel,
03:46than the last reality show I was on.
03:48Yeah, it is a house.
03:50With budget.
03:56Oh, here comes another one.
03:58Oh.
04:00Ah!
04:01Ah!
04:01Ah!
04:02Ah!
04:03Ah!
04:04Ah!
04:05Ah!
04:06Ah!
04:06Ah!
04:07Ah!
04:08Ah!
04:09Hey, girl!
04:10Ah!
04:11Ah!
04:11Hello, I'm Jujubee from RuPaul's Drag Race Season 2,
04:14RuPaul's Drag Race All-Stars Seasons 1 and Season 5,
04:19and RuPaul's Drag Race UK vs. the World Season 1, and-
04:23No one has spent more time on the D-list than Jujubee.
04:26Herstory books have been written about this icon.
04:29The games have begun,
04:30and I have one thing on my mind,
04:32and it's how much I wanna go home.
04:34I can't wait to get in that hot tub.
04:36I know.
04:38Am I looking forward to this competition?
04:41No.
04:43We can't use that.
04:44Maybe just something where you seem like you,
04:46I don't know, wanna be here, Manila?
04:49I can't wait!
04:51Sorry.
04:52This season's gonna be fantastic!
04:54There's gonna be twists and turns!
04:56I can't wait to see what's cooking at the drag house,
04:59and what's the house without a little drama?
05:02How's that?
05:05Is someone doing laundry?
05:08Wow.
05:09I don't wash my shed.
05:11Well, that door's gonna have to be fixed.
05:16Hashtag rebranding!
05:18Hashtag dominate us to Mars!
05:21Yay!
05:22You girls are looking swell!
05:24Hi, I'm Tanya Brown with an IE
05:26from RuPaul's Drag Race Season 1,
05:28and then RuPaul's Drag Race All-Stars Season 1.
05:32The Stolen Season, as they like to call it.
05:34Bow wow wow, yippee-yi yippee-yay, Snoop Dogg.
05:37I have worked as a scab at a grocery store,
05:39and while I was doing that,
05:40I went and worked in the floral section,
05:42sold some corsages.
05:44Good to see you, baby.
05:45Mwah, mwah.
05:48Oh my gosh.
05:49Hi, baby.
05:51Hi, I'm Betch.
05:53Let me get up here.
05:54Oh goodness, thank you.
05:55Good to see you.
05:56Good to see you, Juju.
05:57You look gorgeous,
05:58like you belong on the top of a Christmas tree.
06:02I'm acting.
06:03She's on another planet,
06:04but I kinda live for it.
06:05I heard she's narcoleptic.
06:07She fucks dead bodies.
06:09Necrophilic.
06:11Remember, the last girl to call me kimchi got punched.
06:15Boom.
06:16All right, is that a threat?
06:18Hi, bitches.
06:21It's me, Rakim Sakura,
06:22your anime, J-pop, K-pop,
06:27rockin', poppin', lockin', twerkin', squirtin',
06:30nipple-pinchin' girl.
06:32She is here.
06:33I am a queen who is highly, highly favored
06:36on the internet right now.
06:38Between both of my social media platforms,
06:41I would say I have 700,000 followers.
06:45Happy Halloween and flick my bean, ladies.
06:48How are we doing?
06:49Hey, what's up, sister?
06:51And how are you doing without your phone?
06:53Oh my God, it's like I lost a limb
06:56and I'm on a skateboard just crawling.
06:59Flex, they really do like your socials.
07:01Oh my God, thank you, lady.
07:06Never trust a bitch
07:07who's wearing that much makeup.
07:08You know, I really love cultivating a community,
07:12just like people all around the world
07:14because drag is so accessible now.
07:17Somebody help me out here.
07:19She makes money on the internet, girl.
07:21Oh.
07:22I got a website you can check.
07:23Do you like my pearl necklace?
07:24Mm-hmm.
07:29Munch, munch, crunch, crunch.
07:31Silky Ganache is here to eat the lunch.
07:34Spit in my mouth now.
07:38Don't brush your teeth, spit in it.
07:40Oh.
07:42I hope you brought lunch with you, girl.
07:44Yes.
07:47Of course I brought lunch.
07:48I am the lunch, baby.
07:50I am Silky Nutmeg Ganache
07:53and y'all know me from RuPaul's Drag Race
07:55where I was robbed on season 11,
07:58robbed on All Star 6,
08:00robbed at Canada versus the world,
08:02but I've also done some fun things
08:05like Germany's Next Top Model.
08:08Yeah, I was on there with Heidi Klum.
08:11Yes, ma'am.
08:12I gotta eclipse us, honey.
08:13I am a totally eclipsing y'all, I think.
08:16Well, I'm looking around the room
08:17and I'm saying to myself,
08:19I do have some stiff competition, but that's okay.
08:21I know how to crack their backs,
08:23if you know what I mean.
08:24I'm really good with my hands.
08:25I learned how to give massages to my grandmother
08:28at an early age and the young men on the back of the bus.
08:31The reason I like sitting on the back of the bus
08:33is because you bounce around a lot.
08:35Well, I was thinking to myself,
08:37I'm ready to eclipse you all.
08:39Oh!
08:41This is a rough looking cast
08:43and by rough, I do mean rough,
08:46like the girls are not giving.
08:49Oh my goodness, I'm tired of them bringing me
08:51to these chicken dinner gags.
08:53Now I got to really win
08:55because I refuse to lose to those boogers.
08:58So what do we think?
08:59Oh my God.
09:01Okay.
09:05Get out.
09:06What do they say, quiet on the set?
09:08Out of nowhere, bang, bang, bang.
09:11There's a repairman in the back?
09:13What the fuck did I sign up for?
09:14It sounds like Michelle Visage's niece in here.
09:18Not her niece, her knees.
09:20Anyone else think there's something weird
09:22going on in this house?
09:23Like there are ghosts near?
09:25No, like foreclosure is near.
09:27Okay, well, it is a little rough around the edges.
09:30What are you talking about?
09:30Are you all coming from the carpet
09:31or are you talking about the apparent plumbing issues?
09:35Well, I'm just grateful to be here.
09:36Of course you are, girl.
09:38You come from a show that's on.
09:39Hey, it's a growing streaming platform.
09:40No, no, no, ladies.
09:42Let's play nice.
09:43You guys, we have a real opportunity here to,
09:46you know, foster something so unique
09:48from reality television that's never been seen before.
09:51I mean, we can finally show everyone
09:54what the real sisterhood is all about.
09:56Look, I really wanted to approach this season differently.
10:00I wanted us to have a house of love
10:02and show what the sisterhood is actually like
10:04behind the cameras.
10:06If you think that these people
10:07are not here to provoke us to fight,
10:09girl, you zooted.
10:10You know what?
10:11It's just a bunch of slick dicks behind the camera.
10:14CIA, FBI, eating dead babies.
10:19Is she okay?
10:20Yes, I'm okay.
10:21I passed that test with flying colors
10:23and that test was a psycho evaluation test.
10:26To be honest with you, I was nerve wracked,
10:28but I took some of my mushroom supplements
10:30and got myself fixed up right in the right place
10:33with some of that lion's mane mushroom.
10:35It's good for the nerves
10:36and calmed myself down with that
10:37and said, I'm gonna do this the best that I can.
10:40Maybe I'll get myself one of those stars
10:41on the Hollywood Walk of Fame,
10:43just like that old John Waters.
10:45Filth.
10:48Laganja?
10:49Yeah.
10:50Can you answer a question for me?
10:51Sure.
10:52How did you get your eyes so nice and bright and clean?
10:55Oh, well, honey, that's easy.
10:56It's Avanova.
10:58Avanova?
10:59Yeah.
11:00All right, let's drink.
11:00No, no, no, you don't drink it.
11:02You just spray it.
11:04Oh.
11:06What is wrong with her?
11:09Welcome, ladies.
11:10Let's gather around.
11:12Come on.
11:12You scared me.
11:14All right.
11:15Everything's set?
11:16Cameras are rolling.
11:18All right, here we are.
11:20Here we go.
11:22And action.
11:25Hello, everyone, and welcome to Drag House Rules.
11:28I'm your host, Claymore Jones.
11:30Woo!
11:34Now, what you're about to embark on
11:36is an experience like no other.
11:38Each week, one of you will be eliminated by group vote
11:42until one queen is left standing.
11:45Now, the prize...
11:46Robert?
11:51Yeah?
11:52Yeah?
11:54Can you hold the work, please?
11:55What?
11:56Hold the work, please.
12:01What was I?
12:02The prize.
12:03Oh, yes.
12:04Our grand prize, and buckle up, ladies,
12:08the prize package is valued at $100,000.
12:12Well, that's a lot of cashola.
12:14Wait, did you say prize package?
12:16So there's no cash mama.
12:18Yeah.
12:19Yeah, what's in the prize package?
12:20All will be revealed.
12:22What do you mean?
12:23What are we even fighting for here?
12:25At least we're getting a day rate.
12:27You get a day rate?
12:28That wasn't in my contract.
12:29This twerp's barely been on TV.
12:31I'm repped by CAA, tip spot.
12:35How?
12:36Ladies, the prize will be revealed.
12:38It's all a part of the game.
12:40The prize package is valued at $100,000.
12:45Wait a minute, what does that mean?
12:47Because that's how they get you.
12:48You better not play with my time
12:50because I will fight Claiborne
12:52and I will fight these producers.
12:53Silky, did you get a day rate?
12:56Of course I got a day rate, girl.
12:58$100,000 could be valued at anything.
13:01It could be $100,000 of paperclips.
13:03Or Fabergé eggs.
13:05Or regular eggs.
13:06Ladies, let's just focus on the game.
13:08Who is this Yahoo?
13:10I think I recognize him from somewhere.
13:14Old McDonald's farm.
13:16Old McDonald had a farm, E-I-E-I-O.
13:21You're the yo-yo I bought.
13:23I am a celebrated fixture in Hollywood history, yes.
13:28Petey.
13:33Roll the package.
13:38A native of Southern California,
13:40Claymore Jones began his career as Little Jimmy Jingles
13:44on the hit HVN network show, Old McDonald Farms.
13:49Hey, Jimmy, where do horses go when they're sick?
13:51Gee, I don't know.
13:52To the horses' house.
13:55High five.
13:56Pigs at work.
13:57Horses in the stable.
13:59Time to build some hay.
14:00I'm ready and I'm able.
14:01From there, he appeared in a three episode arc
14:04of Judge Compassion on the Pets Network.
14:08That's where you're going, loser.
14:10Hey, if being a loser means not being like you,
14:13then I'll take that as a compliment.
14:15Remember the golden rule, if you can remember anyway.
14:18Then Claymore found himself nominated
14:20for a Cable Ace Award for his performance
14:23as Augustus in Ghost Among Us.
14:27But why must you leave now?
14:28Because, Margaret, I do not belong to this world.
14:32I am but a ghost of the past.
14:35I died in the Solomon explosion in 1926,
14:39but I have returned only to show you the world.
14:42I knew it.
14:45Goodbye, Margaret.
14:47The career of Claymore Jones is one of artistic excellence
14:52and a boundless fervor for the entertainment industry
14:55at large.
14:58Wow, what a legacy.
15:00Something.
15:01And who was the little boy?
15:03Oh, that was me.
15:05Oh.
15:07Oh, wow.
15:08I don't know what's going on.
15:10Like, why are we watching compilations back from the 90s?
15:14You know, I wasn't too familiar with Claymore the host
15:17as child actor because I try to stay away
15:19from the children's stuff.
15:20Hashtag not grooming, to be honest with you.
15:23The real's a little dated.
15:25I thought I really wanted to be here,
15:27but I just really, really want to go home.
15:29You signed a contract.
15:30You can't go.
15:31Oh, so your washed up act can rise on my tired back?
15:35Okay, so it turns out Claymore was a child star.
15:39Good for him.
15:40I still want to get out.
15:41It's so weird to me that Jujubee wants to leave
15:43because she's automatically going to be guaranteed top three
15:46based on her track record and reality history.
15:48If I'm staying here, you definitely staying here, too.
15:52We in this shit show together.
15:53Shit show?
15:54Look, if she wants to go, let her go.
15:57TV is a young person's game, sweetie.
16:00I've been on television.
16:02Narratives, lines, scripts, acting, emotion.
16:08I don't need this shit.
16:10Where did production put my suitcases?
16:12All of your luggage is in your room.
16:17Don't you want to hear about your first immunity challenge?
16:19No.
16:22Shh, that's enough from you.
16:29So Tammy, do you know how to swim?
16:31Do you know I was a lifeguard once?
16:34You were?
16:34Yes, I was.
16:35Did you ever save anybody?
16:36I saved two babies.
16:38Babies?
16:39Babies, yes.
16:40What were babies doing?
16:40They were bobbing along.
16:41Like apples?
16:43You know, I always find my conversations
16:45with Tammy to be so healing.
16:48She just really gets me.
16:50One, two, three, four.
16:51Actually, I can count to eight.
16:52Yes.
16:53You know, because I'm a choreographer.
16:54Five, six, seven, and eight.
16:55Five, six, seven, eight.
16:56What about two sets of six?
16:58Is this good enough?
16:59I believe that's 12.
17:00Sorry, I'm just making sure I'm panning on the camera
17:02because I know they are listening
17:03and sometimes they can get in trouble
17:04for just doing sightings.
17:05Cameras?
17:06What cameras?
17:07Well, we're in a reality show.
17:08We are?
17:08Yes.
17:10Juju, please don't go.
17:13Please stay.
17:14For what?
17:15The exposure?
17:16No, no, no.
17:17It's supposed to be me and you at the end, my baby girl.
17:19Silky, this was a mistake, okay?
17:22In real life, I'm 40,
17:23and reality TV, I'm 74.
17:27I don't want to compete in drag anymore, Silky.
17:30You know what I want to do?
17:30What?
17:31I want to be home.
17:32I want to sit on my couch and eat snacks.
17:37Mm, but I do sound good.
17:41Y'all really want the real dirt.
17:43I need Juju to stay because Juju always make it
17:45to the end of a competition.
17:47So I need her to be right next to me.
17:50And she always look nice.
17:52She's never gonna win.
17:55Well, they're the monsters.
17:57I mean, surely there's something better else to go film.
18:00If I had a little mechanical hand,
18:02I'd have it run around.
18:03Chase that, pull the plug.
18:06I'm gonna pull the plug on these lights.
18:07So bright.
18:09Now that I'm getting nice and medicated, my God.
18:11I don't mind it that bright.
18:13You like it?
18:14Mine's near the bright light that's within.
18:16Oh.
18:17Are y'all taking notes?
18:18You should be.
18:19You know what underwear we're wearing?
18:22None.
18:23Look under our skirts.
18:26Something there, treat, treat, treat.
18:28Wiggy worm.
18:29Motherfucker.
18:30I'm a one-eyed monster.
18:33So Laganja and I are both from Texas.
18:36Yes, Texas, the larger than life state.
18:38Pretty hypocritical.
18:39And we did kill a president.
18:40So watch it.
18:44Girl, I read the contract.
18:45It's ironclad.
18:47What?
18:50Look.
18:52It says if you leave the house on your own accord,
18:54it's a breach of contract.
18:56And then you'll owe the production company 50 grand.
18:59What do you mean?
19:01Girl, I was up all night reading this.
19:02And you know, unless it's about your mug,
19:04I don't like to read.
19:06They can't do that.
19:07They can, and we did.
19:09Just play the game, Jujubee.
19:13How ominous.
19:18It was at that moment that I decided
19:20to lean into this whole thing.
19:21Hell, life is about taking risks.
19:24The most brazen I ever get these days
19:26is putting a frozen pizza into the oven without preheating
19:28and guesstimating how long it's gonna take
19:30to cook the pizza.
19:32Also, I don't have $50,000 to spare.
19:36I'm eating frozen pizzas.
19:37Take my bags back to my room.
19:41Huh?
19:43Go.
19:48So Jujubee asked me to take her luggage to her room.
19:51And honestly, it kind of put me off a little bit,
19:54but I'd do anything for her
19:57because I like helping the elderly.
20:04Jesus Christ.
20:07Guess we're gonna have to play the game.
20:09Guess so.
20:12Okay, honestly, I didn't read the paperwork
20:14and I'm just a live-in-the-moment kind of gal,
20:17guy, non-binary person.
20:19I just go with the flow, honestly.
20:20Just the vibe.
20:22The difference between them and me
20:25is I'm getting paid regardless.
20:26If I win, that's just another $100,000,
20:28but I still get to buy another game console.
20:35Bitch.
20:35But what about this?
20:36Yes.
20:37A bear versus an alligator versus Lady Bunny.
20:41Well, I think that would be a battle royale.
20:44That's a good one, yeah.
20:45Pick up, right?
20:46Pick up.
20:46Pick up.
20:47Pick up sticks.
20:48Pick up sticks.
20:49Ooh, I gotta pick up these legs, girl.
20:50Let's see, you feel okay?
20:51Ooh, yeah.
20:52Here we go.
20:53I know.
20:54Sometimes you just gotta stretch.
20:55Yes.
20:56Now, why is everyone so unprofessional on the set?
21:00Have you noticed that?
21:00Yes.
21:02It's chicken shit.
21:03Interrupting that.
21:04Cladmore, Claymore.
21:06Why?
21:08I don't really like Claymore either.
21:09You don't?
21:10No.
21:11But you don't interrupt him.
21:12You're a professional.
21:13Well, you're supposed to yell,
21:14quiet on the set!
21:16And I don't understand why the toilets
21:18aren't running properly.
21:19Well, I do.
21:20Silky.
21:21Really?
21:23That's not fair.
21:25But we said it.
21:27We did?
21:27Hey, we say, the best thing about being
21:29with all these, this unprofessional set
21:32is that us queens, we can read them.
21:34We can.
21:35Yes, we can.
21:36It's fun, too.
21:37I do like that, you know, when I was on that other show.
21:40It was very weird.
21:41You mean RuPaul's Drag Race?
21:44We were on RuPaul's Drag Race, if you don't know that.
21:47Season one and season two, all-stars, right?
21:50Or you weren't on an all-stars thing.
21:52No.
21:52You were on a drag race.
21:53You weren't on an all-stars thing.
21:54No.
21:55You were a...
21:56Well, I was in a way.
21:57Lip-sync assassin.
21:57Yeah.
21:58Yeah.
21:59Ha!
22:00I'm acting.