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AmusantTranscription
00:00Reads and write
00:03And surf the net all of the day and all of the night
00:06Neil, you can talk!
00:08And much more, Bernie, but keep it to yourself
00:10If you let the cat out of the bag, you'd be a celebrity
00:14Do you wanna lead a dogfight?
00:16The secret's gonna stay with you and me
00:18Watch my chops, shush
00:20It's no joke and it's obvious what we said
00:22Watch my chops
00:23They must never hear a word
00:25That talking dog
00:27How absurd
00:49The new Cyber 9000 games console is here!
00:52And I finally saved enough money to get one!
00:55Ah! My money!
00:58Don't move!
00:59I've got it!
01:06No!
01:16You moved!
01:18I'm sorry, Bernie
01:20So sorry in fact
01:22That I'll do whatever it takes to earn back the money
01:25You? Get a job?
01:27This I've gotta see
01:32Poor Neil, sweetheart
01:34We'll be back late tonight
01:36You be a good boy for Bernie, okay?
01:39What on earth did I do with today's paper?
01:42Oh well
01:46Cook wanted
01:51Wanted theoretical astrophysics professor
01:58I got it, poor Neil
01:59I found a job for both of us
02:01We can pay for ten game consoles in a single night's work
02:04Oh, it's wonderful, Bernie
02:06What is it?
02:07It's a surprise
02:08Let's just say
02:10You'll be at a loss for words
02:15So, you're a ventriloquist, eh?
02:17That's right, Mr. Agent, sir
02:19But here's the twist
02:21I figure dummies
02:23Are strictly for dummies
02:25I make my dog talk
02:31Wait till you see our act
02:33You'll be speechless
02:35A one and a two and
02:42Thanks for nothing, kid
02:43Now quit wasting my time
02:45No, wait, I'm telling you
02:46He can talk
02:47I mean, I can make him talk
02:49Watch
02:50A one and a two and
02:52Ow!
02:53Bernie, what are you doing?
02:56Holy moly
02:57That's amazing
02:58I could swear that dog was really talking
03:02You're some ventriloquist, kid
03:04So, when do we start?
03:06What do you mean you're not gonna do it?
03:09You promised!
03:11Watch my jumps, Bernie!
03:15I never promised that I'd speak in public
03:19I am a dog
03:21A talking dog!
03:23Yes, a talking dog
03:25That's just the point
03:27Imagine if anyone ever found out
03:29I might not survive it
03:31But I can't survive without the Cyber 9000 console
03:37I gotta have it, Cornel!
03:41All right, all right
03:43I'll help you
03:44But Bernie, we've got to find some other way
03:51Green parrot lost in park
03:53Big reward
03:54Oh, yeah, right
03:56Talk about looking for a needle in a haystack
03:58Bernie, it's perfect
04:00This looks like a job for my natural hunting instinct
04:07Throwing peanuts around
04:09That's your hunting instinct?
04:11It's simple, Bernie
04:12Parrots can't resist peanuts
04:16Who can?
04:17Will you stop eating our bait?
04:20Thank you
04:21Now, get into position
04:33What? What's up with you?
04:40Catch him! Catch him!
04:52I got it!
04:53Got you, you filthy beast!
04:55Take that, dirty rat!
04:56And that! And that!
04:58Had enough yet, you evil animal?
05:02No!
05:09As far as I'm concerned, your game console flew away with that bird, Bernie
05:13Hey, it's not my fault
05:15Your plan was stupid
05:17I don't have stupid plans
05:19The plan was perfect
05:21Yeah, well, now I've got one
05:23Come on, we're gonna bring in a parrot
05:25You've got a plan?
05:33The Animal Rescue Center?
05:36Bye-bye, Sherlock
05:38Thank you
05:49Hi there
05:50I need a parrot
05:52Like, right away?
05:53Well, we've only got one
05:55Call Coco
05:56Oh, but it's pink
05:59Bye-bye, Sherlock
06:01Is that a problem?
06:05No, not at all, it's perfect
06:07I need to take it right now
06:15Bernie, you found it
06:17How did you know it would be at the animal shelter?
06:19Oh, well, it's simple
06:22With that many peanuts in it, a parrot could only fly as far as the animal shelter
06:27So I followed a hunch and there it was
06:31Hey, that took some brains to come up with, huh?
06:33Bernie, I have to admit, you really impress me sometimes
06:37Actually, this is the first time
06:39Yeah, well, just hold that thought
06:41We've got a big fat reward to collect
06:47Oh, dear, my glasses
06:53Oh, you found Polly
06:56My Polly
06:57Polly, woolly, want a cracky-whacky?
07:00Oh, dear, why won't the poor darling answer me?
07:03She's in too much shock to speak, ma'am
07:05I found the poor animal in a hay bale
07:07She'd been sucked up by a combine harvester
07:10How about the reward?
07:12Oh, of course, what was I thinking?
07:17Here
07:18Thank you so much, young man
07:20I can't thank you enough
07:23Not Polly! Not Polly!
07:31This isn't Polly
07:35Rotten little crook
07:37I ought to call the police
07:44Oh, Bernie, you painted a parrot?
07:47It's inhumane
07:50Inhumane? I'll tell you what's inhumane
07:54First, you lose my money
07:56Second, you lose the real parrot
07:59And thirdly, you blow the reward
08:01So...
08:03Nextly, now you're going to be my ventriloquist dummy
08:08Watch my chops, Bernie
08:12There is absolutely no way you will ever get me to speak in public
08:16Oh, yeah? Newsflash, you already did
08:19You spoke in front of that talent agent
08:21And then in front of the parrot lady
08:23You could talk any time and no one would know it
08:26You know why? Because no one can even imagine
08:28A talking dog! Watch!
08:33Sir, excuse me, you know what?
08:35My dog can talk
08:37Sure, kid, and I'm the Queen of England
08:41And I'm right, I'm right
08:43Come on, let's go
08:45Come on then, you
08:48So, no one can imagine a talking dog
08:51No one, of course, except someone like you, Bernie
08:54You can imagine it
08:56What if there's someone like you in the audience?
08:58Highly unlikely
09:00For the millionth time, Cornel, save your breath
09:03You're going to need it
09:04You're on in two minutes
09:06Don't let us down
09:07The show is completely sold out
09:09Listen, Cornel, I'm not going to let you down
09:11I'm not going to let you down
09:13I'm not going to let you down
09:15The show is completely sold out
09:17Listen, Cornel, you're a bug
09:19But between your secret and my game console, sorry
09:21There's no competition, come on
09:25All right, Bernie
09:26We'll go ahead with the ventriloquist act
09:28But with one slight modification
09:32And now, ladies and gentlemen
09:34A brand new act that will leave you speechless
09:38Could you please put your hands together
09:40For a talented young ventriloquist
09:42Bernie Burgess
09:46It's Bernie
09:47He's our dog sitter
09:49Thank you, thank you, thank you
09:51But if Bernie's up there
09:53Where's Cornel?
09:54Ladies and gentlemen
09:56I will now make this ordinary parrot
09:59Speak
10:00Say hello to our lovely audience, Coco
10:06My dear Bernie
10:07I assure you, I'm only here for the money
10:09Squawk, and so are you
10:12Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha
10:14Very funny, Coco
10:15But may I remind you that I'm only here because of you
10:19So there
10:21Actually, Bernie
10:22May I remind you that I'm only here
10:24So that you can buy yourself a Simon 9000 game console
10:27Ah, ah, so ah, there
10:30All right, that's it
10:31May I remind you that I had the money
10:34And you let it slip away
10:35Just answer me that, Cornel
10:37I mean, Coco
10:41Welcome back, Coco
10:44What do you mean?
10:45Oh, my dear erroneous Bernie
10:55I'm not stupid, you know
10:56You said don't move
10:57And I haven't moved
10:58I'm not falling for that bit of business again
11:01I'm just an old parrot
11:02A very old talking parrot
11:12Ah
11:13You'll never wiggle your chops in this town again
11:16Shitty little landlubbers
11:17Ah, ah, ah
11:19Shiver me timbers
11:20Ah, ah, ah
11:21Crap features
11:23Oh, but Bernie
11:25There are miles and miles of train tracks down there
11:28Cornel, you're going down there
11:30And you're not coming up until you find my money
11:33Oh, but Bernie
11:41Ah, ah, ah
11:42Ah, ah, ah
11:43Ah, ah, ah
11:44Ah, ah, ah
11:45Ah, ah, ah
11:46Ah, ah, ah
11:47Ah, ah, ah
11:48Ah, ah, ah
11:49Ah, ah, ah
11:50Ah, ah, ah
11:51Ah, ah, ah
11:52Ah, ah, ah
11:53Ah, ah, ah
11:54Ah, ah, ah
11:55Ah, ah, ah
11:56Ah, ah, ah
11:57Ah, ah, ah
11:58Ah, ah, ah
11:59Ah, ah, ah
12:00Ah, ah, ah
12:01Ah, ah, ah
12:02Ah, ah, ah
12:03Ah, ah, ah
12:04Ah, ah, ah
12:05Ah, ah, ah
12:06Ah, ah, ah
12:07Ah, ah, ah
12:08Ah, ah, ah
12:09Ah, ah, ah