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00:30They were at it all night.
00:52Frenchmen never get tired of having sex.
00:54It's like docking them in a lightning port.
00:56Well, my battery's dead, and I have a huge day at work.
01:00Ugh, I can't believe this.
01:01What?
01:02Stop this shit now, asshole.
01:07Send voice note to dad.
01:09That's how you talk to your dad?
01:10The zipper king?
01:11His third assistant will soften the tone
01:13when she reads it to him.
01:14He's bribing me to come home again.
01:16With what?
01:20Oh my god, a BMW?
01:22And the house behind it.
01:24He's giving you a house?
01:25Yeah, right next to my parents' place.
01:27All I have to do is go home, join his trainee program,
01:31and start dressing like Angela Merkel.
01:34And you're giving up all that to be a nanny?
01:36Do you really like Paris that much?
01:38Yes, I do.
01:40But also, I can never go back to China.
01:42Why not?
01:44Well, first of all, there's the life
01:45my parents have planned for me.
01:47Marry the right guy, live on the right street.
01:50And also, um, there is this.
01:54I'm gonna swing.
01:58Oh my god, you were on Chinese Idol?
02:00We call it Chinese Pop Star.
02:02That's so cool.
02:12I choked in front of billions of people.
02:15Not millions, billions.
02:18And when they found out who my father was, I became a meme.
02:24Oh boy.
02:25I was so mortified I had to get out of China ASAP.
02:28And so I gave up, and I came here
02:31and went to business school like my dad wanted me to.
02:34And I failed at that too.
02:35Well, of course you did.
02:36You're a singer.
02:37Was a singer.
02:39I had my shot, and I blew it.
02:41You get more than one shot, Mindy.
02:43In China, you only get one kid.
02:44You need to get back out there.
02:46Just find a stage and get your groove back.
02:48You're so cute.
02:50But, you know, the wonderful thing about Paris
02:53is that nobody judges you for doing nothing.
02:56I mean, it's practically an art form here.
02:58You know what?
02:58We actually have a name for it.
02:59They call us flaneur.
03:01You're not a flaneur.
03:03You're in hiding.
03:04And what more fabulous place to hide.
03:14Hey, you said we had to wear all black.
03:17I said you had to.
03:19You'll blend in perfectly at the Arcade Scooter House.
03:21However, I have no interest in blending in.
03:26Emily, I've been dreaming of meeting Pierre Cadeau
03:29since I was 12 and stole issues of French Vogue
03:31from my mom's beauty salon.
03:33He's a legend.
03:35Oh, I know, Julian.
03:36I did my homework.
03:37I know all about his feud with Valentino,
03:39his affair with Elton John,
03:41and his pet iguana Evangelista that apparently won't die.
03:44Actually, the iguana has died five times.
03:47They just replaced it and called it by the same name.
03:50No.
03:52Oh, hey, Sylvie.
03:53Did you see my emails about social strategy?
03:56Pierre Cadeau detests social media,
03:58but his manager knows he needs it to compete.
04:00If we get the account,
04:01that's something to discuss in the future.
04:03So today, just observe, admire, and try to disappear.
04:08Won't be a problem.
04:09I wore all black.
04:10That's not black.
04:11That's off black.
04:14♪♪
04:20Since the 1800s,
04:22only designers chosen by the French Federation of Fashion
04:26may refer to their work as haute couture.
04:28Pierre Cadeau is one of them, of course.
04:31Monsieur Cadeau does not chase trends.
04:33He's an artist.
04:35Even now, he's offered his talents to design costumes
04:38for the new ballet this week at the Paris Opera.
04:41Oh, oh, sublime!
04:44♪♪
04:47Il... il arrive.
04:49Oh, my.
04:51Okay, let it go.
04:54Dominique, I wish you wouldn't show the costume.
04:56They're not ready.
04:57Oh, Pierre, oh, la, la, they're more than ready.
04:59They elevate ballet.
05:01The team here from Savoie was just saying so, n'est-ce pas?
05:04Oh, yes.
05:05The Instagramers.
05:07Oh, no, Monsieur Cadeau.
05:09It's the honour of my career to be here.
05:14Of my life.
05:20And you?
05:22Uh...
05:23Um...
05:25Beyond honoured.
05:27I-I mean, uh...
05:29I've always, um, admired your work,
05:33and being here,
05:36it's just fabulous.
05:39Fabulous.
05:41Your... your couture is... is a confection.
05:45I could eat your clothes.
05:50Rengarde.
05:54Oh, Pierre.
05:55Pierre.
06:02What happened, guys?
06:03What does rengarde mean?
06:05It means basic.
06:06He called you a basic bitch.
06:08Because of my bag, Tom?
06:39Do you think he's her son or her lover?
06:43Oh, um, I... I was just...
06:46watching to see if the Caesar salad is really worth 20 euros.
06:50She's forceful.
06:52A bit controlling.
06:54Like your mother.
06:56And now she's feeding him.
06:59Like...
07:01a lover.
07:03Oh, God, I hope.
07:06Loser buys the next bottle of wine.
07:10You're so sure you're right?
07:12I'm a professor of semiotics.
07:14It's a...
07:15Study of symbols.
07:17I have a master's in communication.
07:19Then you know it's my job to read such things.
07:22Signs.
07:23People.
07:25Thomas.
07:27Emily.
07:28So, how are we gonna know who wins this little wager?
07:31I guess we have to sit here
07:33until they reveal themselves.
07:38What are you drinking?
07:42And then for the rest of the day,
07:44no one would talk to me at work.
07:46Well, for one thing,
07:48it's a bit ringard to call someone ringard.
07:50Right?
07:51I'm not saying I'm cool.
07:53You're sitting at the coolest café in all of Paris.
07:56At least, historically.
07:58Really?
07:59This was the home of Jean-Paul Sartre and Simone de Beauvoir.
08:02Everybody in Paris flocked to see them.
08:04I read Second Sex in college.
08:07Most of it.
08:09But did you know that for the longest time,
08:11the café across the street, Les Deux Magots,
08:13was the cool place?
08:15Hemingway and Picasso, they used to drink there.
08:19And what happened?
08:20Sartre and De Beauvoir decided it was too bourgeois
08:23and they fled to the Café de Flore
08:25because it was empty.
08:27And suddenly...
08:28Café de Flore was the cool place.
08:31When two things are next to each other,
08:34we're forced to compare them.
08:38Café de Flore and Les Deux Magots.
08:40Or...
08:41ringard and cool.
08:44You're not ringard.
08:47Wait!
08:48What?
08:49Who's that third guy?
08:53We're never going to know who won the bet.
08:55I don't care about the bet.
08:57I just want it to keep talking to you.
09:02Well...
09:04we could talk someplace else?
09:07Someplace cooler?
09:31La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
09:40Oh.
09:42Okay.
09:46Yeah.
09:47Oh, my God!
09:49La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
09:52La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
10:01All your books are in French.
10:03And good morning to you.
10:05They're not my books.
10:06They came with the apartment.
10:08I have a rule.
10:10If I go home with a girl
10:11and she doesn't have her own books,
10:14I cannot make love to her.
10:16I have my own books.
10:18They cost too much to ship from Chicago,
10:20so I download them on my iPad.
10:23Then show me your iPad.
10:24Why?
10:25So I can make love to you again
10:28with a clear conscience.
10:30Mm-hmm.
10:34Are you sure you don't want to use my shower?
10:37I don't want to wash you off yet.
10:39Please tell me we'll see each other again tonight.
10:42Oh.
10:43Okay, sure.
10:52Bonjour.
10:54Who is he?
10:55A professor I met last night.
10:57I've never done anything like that.
10:59I mean, for all I know,
11:00he could have been a murderer.
11:01Mm, I thought I heard a couple of petits morts, so...
11:04A couple of what?
11:05Um, little death.
11:06It means an orgasm.
11:08And it sounds like you died
11:10at least twice last night.
11:12Oh, my God, I'm pretty mortified.
11:14Oh, little deaths?
11:15Why do you call it that?
11:16It sounds so morbid.
11:18No, it's not.
11:19It's like, um,
11:20it's so intense that you die,
11:23and then you're reborn as a new person.
11:27Hmm.
11:38Well, if it isn't la belle ringarde.
11:40Oh, could you not?
11:41I said belle.
11:42Okay, ringarde, I cannot deny.
11:44Look, I'm not basic.
11:45In fact, I went home with a philosophy professor last night.
11:48That's worse than basic.
11:50It's boring.
11:51It was not boring.
11:52He quoted Rimbaud to me, and it was hot.
11:54The only thing my ex ever quoted was Game of Thrones recaps.
11:57America, it sounds like a prison.
11:59Anyway, I guess this poetry man
12:01explains why you're late for once.
12:03No, Sylvie emailed me that I didn't have to be in until 11.
12:08What meeting's happening in there?
12:10For the 40-year account.
12:12The watch account?
12:13I'm leaving social for that.
12:14Did Sylvie tell you why they're meeting without me?
12:16Definitely not.
12:17However, I'm feeling uncomfortable right now,
12:19so I'm leaving.
12:22Sylvie, is there a reason
12:23I wasn't invited to the Fortier meeting this morning?
12:25Last week, you told me to prepare a deck.
12:27Look, can you please tell Emily
12:28she's not leading social media for Fortier anymore.
12:31She's on a luxury brand quarantine.
12:33Okay, I will tell her.
12:35I'm right here.
12:36Is this about Pierre Cadeau?
12:38And tell her, also,
12:39I don't need to hear her moaning around the office all day.
12:42She can go.
12:43Yes, I will tell her.
12:44I will tell her.
12:45I will tell her.
12:46I will tell her.
12:47I will tell her.
12:48I will tell her.
12:49I will tell her.
12:50Yes, I will tell her.
12:51I didn't do anything wrong.
12:53Well, make sure she knows what a quarantine is.
12:56Sure.
12:57It means the same thing in English.
12:59It was just one client,
13:00and we knew Pierre Cadeau was a long shot.
13:02Yes, but it was Sylvie's long shot.
13:04She's talked about signing him
13:06as long as I've been at Savoie.
13:07Well, do you think there's any way
13:08to see Pierre again and explain?
13:10And what would you say?
13:12Go ahead, pretend I am Pierre.
13:16Monsieur Cadeau, please allow me.
13:18Regarde.
13:28I can't believe I got demoted because of an accessory.
13:30At least you have a hot new male accessory.
13:34How's that going?
13:35Crazy.
13:36Like, three petit morts in one night.
13:38Oh, you learned a gross new phrase.
13:41I did.
13:42He refused to shower afterwards
13:44because he wanted a reminder on him.
13:48Is that weird?
13:49Sexy.
13:50Although that's probably why the Metro
13:52smells like PBO during morning rush hour.
13:55Public BO?
13:56Pussy BO.
13:57Mindy!
13:58What? Have you taken the Metro?
14:01Sorry.
14:02I get tray nasty when I'm exhausted,
14:04and thanks to you, I was up all night.
14:06Why me?
14:08I went down a drunk rabbit hole
14:10of googling jazz clubs in Paris.
14:13I don't know.
14:14I figured that if I was going to try
14:15the singing thing again,
14:16I might as well do it here,
14:17where no one knows me.
14:19I saw that there was an open audition
14:20at Crazy Horse.
14:21Well, that's not so crazy.
14:24I'm not going.
14:25Why not?
14:26Because I still have Chinese pop star PTSD.
14:29But that's the key for post-traumatic, right?
14:32Emily!
14:33Yes.
14:34Okay.
14:35Well, you just...
14:36You need to get over it and sing.
14:38Honestly, sometimes I don't think
14:40I'll ever sing again.
14:41What about for me?
14:43Maybe.
14:44I don't know.
14:45Not right now.
14:46Not right now?
14:47Why not right now?
14:48No one's paying attention.
14:49You want me to sing right now?
14:50Yes!
14:51They're people.
14:52So?
14:53Just pick any song that you want.
14:54I'm not going to judge you.
14:56I'm not judging.
14:57Ugh!
14:58Fine, okay.
14:59I can't look at you.
15:00All right.
15:01I'm going to...
15:02Here, you take this.
15:03Oh, okay.
15:04You're going to see I'm far away.
15:05I'm not going to look at you.
15:06Okay.
15:07Okay.
15:08What do you want me to sing?
15:09I don't know.
15:10Whatever you want.
15:12When he takes me in his arms
15:18He takes me to the bottom
15:22I see life in pink
15:29He tells me words of love
15:35Words of everyday life
15:39And it makes me feel something
15:45He has entered my heart
15:51A step of happiness
15:55I know the cause
16:00It's him for me, me for him in life
16:07Il me l'a dit, là je serai pour la vie
16:16Give your heart and soul to me
16:21And life will always be
16:26La vie en roses
16:34Whoo!
16:40Okay, okay, merci.
16:42No one was paying any attention.
16:44Don't worry.
16:51Bonsoir.
16:54Oh!
16:55A gift.
16:56Delta Venus.
16:58It's very sexy.
16:59Shall we go upstairs and read it?
17:01Or are you not letting me in?
17:03Well, if we go upstairs now, we'll never make it to dinner.
17:06Better to have something to look forward to, anyway.
17:11Hey.
17:12Hey, Emily.
17:17Oh, introduce us to your friends.
17:20This is Thomas.
17:21Thomas, this is my friend Camille and her boyfriend, Gabriel.
17:24Yes, we've heard you. We heard of you.
17:27Gabriel is the chef at a restaurant across the square.
17:31Yeah, except tonight another chef is going to cook for us at a great little tapas place in the tent.
17:36Yeah. Oh, you should join us.
17:38Oh, no, we wouldn't want to crash your dinner.
17:40Please, it would totally be fun. Please.
17:43I love Spanish wine. Why not?
17:45Why not?
17:46Yeah, okay, great.
17:48Um, it's a double date, then.
17:50Yay!
17:51Yay.
17:52Great.
17:54Um, it's this way.
17:57Oh, this area is so pretty. What's it called?
18:01Canal Saint-Martin.
18:02It used to be gritty and authentic.
18:04It's a shame how popular it's gotten.
18:06None of the charm it had before.
18:09I still like it.
18:11It's Euro Disney compared to what it was.
18:13Did you both grow up in the city?
18:15No.
18:16Gabriel's from Normandy.
18:19I grew up on a farm in Brienne.
18:21His whole family raised money so he could attend cooking school here.
18:25They are so proud of my guy.
18:27Oh, I love that.
18:29Well, the two of you have something in common.
18:31Neither from Paris.
18:40Cigarette, anyone?
18:41I'd love one, thanks.
18:45I'm surprised all the chefs I know roll their own.
18:48Well, now you know one who doesn't.
18:53Gabriel, you picked a really great wine.
18:55Oh, thank you. It's a small organic producer from Rioja.
18:57Gabriel knows his wine inside and out.
19:00Except for Champagne. That is Camille's specialty.
19:02Oh, only because of where I grew up.
19:04My family has a little chateau in Champagne.
19:07It's called Domaine de l'Alice.
19:09Domaine de l'Alice. I've never heard of it.
19:12Well, it's small, but we don't have to talk about it.
19:16It's small, but we don't have to talk about that.
19:18That's so boring.
19:20Yeah, I agree. So dull, talking about wine.
19:22It's like a conversation about the weather.
19:24Far more interesting to drink it.
19:26No?
19:29Of course.
19:36I don't think Gabriel likes me.
19:40What makes you say that?
19:42I could just tell that he's jealous that I'm with you.
19:47I don't think that's true.
19:55Who can blame him?
20:00We just have to try to be quieter tonight.
20:02Sure. Whatever you say.
20:17Oh!
20:19Oh!
20:21Oh!
20:23Oh!
20:25Oh!
20:27Oh!
20:29Oh!
20:47Oh!
20:56Hey, girl.
20:57Sorry, won't do that again.
20:59I have something for you.
21:00Well, two things, actually.
21:02I thought that you and I or you and whoever
21:04could go to the opening night of the ballet
21:05for another shot at Pierre Cadot.
21:10Don't mention his name to me ever again.
21:15That was a box!
21:17What are you doing?
21:19I don't know yet, but I didn't come to France to be demoted.
21:21After tonight, you may be deported.
21:46Emily, hi.
21:48Why are you after so dressed up?
21:50Oh, I have tickets to the ballet.
21:52Oh, with Thomas, I presume?
21:55Yes.
21:57I see. Well, enjoy.
22:00What is it?
22:02I didn't say anything.
22:04Sounds like an interesting evening.
22:06Do you have a problem with him?
22:08I'm sorry, but I think he's a snob.
22:11An asshole masquerading as an intellectual.
22:14I know his type.
22:16Maybe you can tell, since you're not from Paris.
22:19Well, you're not from Paris either.
22:21Sorry, I...
22:23It's not how I meant it.
22:25Fine. I just think you're wasting your time
22:27on a guy who doesn't deserve you.
22:45Emily.
22:47You look beautiful in that dress.
22:50But not as beautiful as you look without it.
22:53Well, you're looking pretty handsome yourself.
22:56There's just one problem here.
22:58Did you know they were performing Swan Lake tonight?
23:01Is this a joke?
23:03What?
23:05Well, they were performing Swan Lake,
23:07and they were performing Swan Lake,
23:09and they were performing Swan Lake,
23:11Is this a joke?
23:13What?
23:14Well, the last time I was here,
23:16it was for Boléro, a masterpiece.
23:18Swan Lake is for tourists.
23:20Or is it on the cusp of being cool again,
23:22like Café de Nago?
23:24Clever trying to use my argument against me,
23:26but evidently you missed the point of what I was saying.
23:29Okay.
23:30Well, I would like to find Pierre Cadeau
23:32and try to talk to him,
23:34so maybe you can endure it until then.
23:36You're here to ambush Pierre Cadeau?
23:38So now we have a bad ballet
23:40designer to look forward to?
23:42Oh, my God, you are a snob.
23:44Uh, excuse me?
23:46You really just don't like to like anything, do you?
23:49Snob?
23:51That's refuge of the simple-minded.
23:53Simple-minded?
23:55Simple but beautiful.
23:58How about you go, and I'll meet you afterwards,
24:01and I'll treat you to some amazing sex.
24:03I think we'd both like that better.
24:06Thomas, since you're a professor of science,
24:09I'm sure you won't have any trouble recognizing this one.
24:15That's more of a gesture.
24:40Monsieur Cadeau?
24:43Do I know you?
24:45It's the ringer from the marketing firm the other day.
24:49Emily from Savoir.
24:51Excusez-moi, mademoiselle, it's a private box.
24:54I just came here to apologize for the other day
24:57for offending you and to let you know that...
25:00You're right.
25:02I am a basic bitch with a bad charm.
25:05In fact, do you want to know why I got that bad charm?
25:08Because my friends and I were obsessed with Gossip Girl.
25:11We all wanted to be Serena Vanderwoodsen
25:14in her gorgeous, crazy expensive couture.
25:17But the only thing we could afford from any of those designers
25:20was a clip-on bag charm from an outlet mall in Winnetka.
25:24So, yeah, I guess that made us pretty ringard.
25:29I'm calling security.
25:32You think ringards don't respect designers?
25:35We worship designers so much
25:38that we spend all we've saved on a dumb accessory
25:42just to feel like we're somehow on your runway.
25:46You may mock us,
25:48but the truth is, you need us.
25:52Without basic bitches like me, you wouldn't be fashionable.
25:58I can't believe it was done.
26:01What?
26:02Gossip Girl.
26:03We watched the entire series to find out.
26:06It's done.
26:08Mademoiselle, sorry, this box is only for VIP guests.
26:12It's fine.
26:14I don't belong here anyway.
26:33You did go to the ballet last night, didn't you?
26:37I...
26:38I just got a call from Pierre Cadot's office.
26:41I'm so sorry.
26:43He wants to meet.
26:45He insisted Gossip Girl be there.
26:48I can only assume that's you.
26:50Oh.
26:51Well, that's good, right?
26:54I don't know how it happened. I don't want to know.
26:58I need you to be...
27:01less.
27:03How about you do you, and I'll do me?
27:06And how about a one-way ticket back to Chicago?
27:10Less.
27:12Got it.
27:13A lot less.
27:28♪
27:58♪
28:28♪
28:58♪