• 4 months ago
Transcript
00:00:00Neighbors bring food with death, and flowers with sickness, and little things in between.
00:00:19Boo was our neighbor.
00:00:22He gave us two soaked dolls, a broken watch and chain, a knife, and our lives.
00:01:53So what's the deal? Mom didn't believe in lampshades?
00:01:57Give her a break, Jeff. She was really sick before she died.
00:02:11Your mom really lived like this?
00:02:13What do we say? Her money was in the toilet.
00:02:16Come on, Alex. This place means a lot to me.
00:02:19Hey, I need to make a little speech.
00:02:21Ugh, not that.
00:02:23What's that?
00:02:24Mom always used to do that.
00:02:26She used to make these speeches every time we had a visitor,
00:02:28and she wouldn't let them leave until she made a speech either.
00:02:31My dear friends.
00:02:32Christ.
00:02:33Tonight, we are gathered in Mom's old house.
00:02:37I know this is probably weird for you boys, being a stranger's house and all,
00:02:41and it's kind of a stranger's house to me too.
00:02:46And I bet for Alex.
00:02:48But we'll be selling this place soon, so for tonight, just one night, it can be a home again.
00:02:55I don't know why I feel weird tonight.
00:02:58Sober and tipsy, I guess.
00:03:01I miss Mom a little, and this is her place of routine and care and love.
00:03:08So we're here.
00:03:12So it'll work then.
00:03:14Are you sure that was necessary?
00:03:16If you miss her so much, that'd probably upset you.
00:03:18Nope.
00:03:20Ugh, it's hot in here.
00:03:23Right, so can we eat now? Because I'm getting the Dolman Crunches.
00:03:27What?
00:03:28You know, when you get hungry and you've got that grinding in your abdomen?
00:03:31That's what this is. Dolman Crunches.
00:03:34Is it really that hard to just say abdomen?
00:03:37Is it really that hard to just say abdomen?
00:03:40Dolman saves time. Everybody knows what a dolman is.
00:03:51Man, this is a guy's apartment.
00:03:58TGI Friday's quesadillas and White Castle cheeseburgers.
00:04:05Sounds just like her.
00:04:07Mama's always one of the guys, and she loved those dillas.
00:04:11Dillas?
00:04:12Quesadillas?
00:04:14If she can say dillas, I can say dolman.
00:04:17Enough. You guys can eat the junk food.
00:04:20I'm going to go to the car and get my groceries and make some gazpacho.
00:04:35Water
00:04:58All right.
00:05:06Guys, shouldn't we pray before we eat?
00:05:09No.
00:05:11Come on, guys. Mom just died.
00:05:14Steph, you can do one of those little silent prayers.
00:05:18Amen then?
00:05:20You guys are missing out on this gazpacho.
00:05:22Oh my God, I love White Castle.
00:05:25So good for my dolman.
00:05:33So good for my dolman.
00:05:36You guys are missing out on this gazpacho.
00:05:40Oh my god, I love White Castle.
00:05:42It's so good for my dohmen.
00:05:50So Bruce, we haven't really met.
00:05:52No.
00:05:54How long have you been dating my sister?
00:05:56I don't know, about a hundred years.
00:05:58He means five months.
00:06:00Guys never remember anniversaries.
00:06:02How'd you guys meet?
00:06:04Online.
00:06:06My boss Julia is always telling me
00:06:08how she loves the online world.
00:06:10I guess it really does work.
00:06:12So what do you do?
00:06:14Well, I work at the Mara Inn
00:06:16with Jeff.
00:06:18What's that?
00:06:20It's a small hotel.
00:06:22I'd really rather not talk about work right now.
00:06:24I didn't really ask you, but incidentally,
00:06:26what are you doing here?
00:06:28Well, Stephanie told me to bring as many people as I could
00:06:30to help pack up this place.
00:06:32I'm glad I came.
00:06:34What with the White Castle stuff and all.
00:06:36How do you two know each other?
00:06:38From our days in the old
00:06:40schoolyard.
00:06:42Aww, old friends.
00:06:44Do you have a girlfriend, Jeff?
00:06:48Yeah, still
00:06:50working on that one.
00:06:52Always the holy grail, I guess.
00:06:54That's all the answer I needed, thanks.
00:06:56Now hold on a minute.
00:06:58Jeff had a little issue
00:07:00he had to deal with.
00:07:02It's okay, I can tell her myself.
00:07:04Look,
00:07:06in college I had this female friend named Laura.
00:07:08One night we thought it would be
00:07:10a great idea to get drunk and have sex.
00:07:12Which we did.
00:07:14And it was terrible.
00:07:16And we didn't even finish.
00:07:18And afterwards
00:07:20we never talked again.
00:07:22Aww, that's a sad
00:07:24story, Jeff.
00:07:26Were you in love with her?
00:07:30Well, uh, I'm sorry you couldn't
00:07:32swoop in and save the day.
00:07:34So,
00:07:36what do you think
00:07:38of my sister?
00:07:40I like her a lot.
00:07:42She's not too religious for you?
00:07:44Hey, I'm really not that bad.
00:07:46She really isn't at all.
00:07:48That's cute. Julia told me she thinks so too.
00:07:50I don't think it's the excess of religion
00:07:52that's her problem.
00:07:54I think it's the bubble she lives in.
00:07:56Alex! You know about the last guy she dated?
00:07:58Yes. Homer.
00:08:00They lived together for a few months.
00:08:02I'm totally all cool with that.
00:08:04Yeah, you're just so mad chill.
00:08:06You know how hard that breakup was for her?
00:08:08She could be a tough plate of raw
00:08:10fish when it comes to her emotions.
00:08:14Why don't we talk about something else?
00:08:16What's up, Jeff?
00:08:18I'm gonna take my pants off.
00:08:24What the hell?
00:08:28You didn't need to change the subject
00:08:30that much.
00:08:32Well, it's a little warm in here and these jeans aren't actually that comfortable,
00:08:34so I'm gonna loosen up a little bit.
00:08:36Yeah, that's really respectful to my mom's
00:08:38memory, just so you know.
00:08:40Well, look who's talking. She's dead and you're
00:08:42drinking champagne.
00:08:44And you're drinking fructose corn syrup.
00:08:46What the hell's the difference?
00:08:48Okay, okay. Let's try to have some fun.
00:08:50We don't have to be so solemn about this whole thing.
00:08:52What do you mean by fun?
00:08:58What the hell?
00:09:00What the hell?
00:09:02What the hell?
00:09:04What the hell?
00:09:06What the hell?
00:09:08What the hell?
00:09:10What the hell?
00:09:12What the hell?
00:09:14What the hell?
00:09:16What the hell?
00:09:18What the hell?
00:09:20What the hell?
00:09:22What the hell?
00:09:24What the hell?
00:09:26What the hell?
00:09:36I think that was Mom punishing us for the dance.
00:09:38Yeah.
00:09:40Maybe we should get rolling.
00:09:42Oh, come on. It was just getting to the chorus.
00:09:44Yeah, but it's almost midnight
00:09:46and some of you
00:09:48have been drinking, so
00:09:50let's just do this before you start falling asleep.
00:09:52Do what? Honey, I'm sorry,
00:09:54but there's no way we're going to pack up this whole place
00:09:56in one single night.
00:09:58I think you mean looking for the money.
00:10:00Yeah, that's right.
00:10:02Uh, money?
00:10:04Is that why you had us all come here tonight?
00:10:06That's why you wanted guests?
00:10:08What are you guys talking about?
00:10:10I guess I should tell you.
00:10:12Um...
00:10:16I can tell.
00:10:18Mom inherited some bonds
00:10:20from our great aunt, and, uh,
00:10:22when we asked her where she put them,
00:10:24she got really embarrassed
00:10:26and basically...
00:10:28Basically she cashed the bonds, hid the money in the house,
00:10:30and forgot where she put it
00:10:32and never found it again.
00:10:34Last we heard,
00:10:36it was still lost.
00:10:38So that's what we're looking for tonight.
00:10:40Yeah.
00:10:42Look, I told you Mom had a sense of humor.
00:10:44And a bad memory.
00:10:46Deadly combination, those two.
00:10:48But, honey, this is silly.
00:10:50You're gonna be selling this place in a few weeks.
00:10:52Just, it'll turn up then.
00:10:54Honey, do you trust moving men?
00:10:56When you move, you don't find things.
00:10:58You lose them.
00:11:00I just want to do this while we still have the place to ourselves.
00:11:02But why do we have to look tonight?
00:11:04I think because
00:11:06she knows I'm leaving for Cali tomorrow.
00:11:08I'll share it with all you guys.
00:11:12Christ, it'd be hard enough
00:11:14to pack up all this stuff,
00:11:16but now we're looking for something?
00:11:18Needle in a haystack.
00:11:20Where do you think it might be?
00:11:22That's a good question,
00:11:24considering she herself didn't know.
00:11:26All right.
00:11:28How long do we have to stay until?
00:11:30As long as you want.
00:11:32Actually, they were closing that street by the highway, remember?
00:11:34Oh, yeah.
00:11:36Washington Avenue is closed until 6 a.m. for construction.
00:11:38Ugh.
00:11:40Did you by any chance have that in mind all along?
00:11:42Maybe.
00:11:44But, look, let's just
00:11:46try it out,
00:11:48and by 6 a.m. you guys can take off.
00:11:52All right.
00:11:54Enough grumbling.
00:11:56There's four of us.
00:11:58Let's just
00:12:00give it a shot.
00:12:16All right.
00:12:46Steph, I need a break.
00:12:48Come on, Alex.
00:12:50There's still places to look.
00:12:52Have you ever even seen the money?
00:12:54Nope.
00:12:56We don't even know what we're looking for,
00:12:58and this heat just isn't helping.
00:13:00I know.
00:13:02I know.
00:13:04I know.
00:13:06I know.
00:13:08I know.
00:13:10I know.
00:13:12I know.
00:13:14It just isn't helping.
00:13:28I think...
00:13:30No, yeah, I'm definitely getting tired.
00:13:32Yeah, let's hold on one more hour,
00:13:34because then she's gonna get tired,
00:13:36and she's gonna realize how crazy this is.
00:13:38I can't believe I let you talk me into this,
00:13:40all for your friggin' girlfriend.
00:13:42You didn't tell me she'd be a bitch, though.
00:13:56What's going on?
00:13:58Hold on, let me check... Ow!
00:14:02The street lights are out.
00:14:04God, you cannot tell me there's a blackout right now.
00:14:06Yep, I think you gotta circle that answer.
00:14:08The hell? It's not even bad weather outside.
00:14:10Mom said there was one like this five years ago.
00:14:12Probably just at some plant.
00:14:14Did your mom have flashlights?
00:14:16Yep.
00:14:18Oh, damn it!
00:14:36Here, take this one.
00:14:40Thanks.
00:14:44Damn it, I think this means my flight's
00:14:46gonna be canceled tomorrow.
00:14:48I'm gonna call the airline.
00:14:50If I know anything about the horror genre,
00:14:52and I do,
00:14:54phones will be out.
00:14:58None.
00:15:10And she told me she enjoyed it.
00:15:12She looked right at me,
00:15:14and she said,
00:15:16I like you.
00:15:18You remind me of that guy from YouTube.
00:15:20Jeff, nobody really wants to hear
00:15:22your girl exploits.
00:15:24Speak for yourself, Brucie.
00:15:26I think I should make more coffee.
00:15:28The hell with that, Steph.
00:15:30I don't think the power's coming back on tonight.
00:15:32It might. They have round-the-club people
00:15:34for emergencies like this.
00:15:36Whatever, I just think we should go to bed.
00:15:38Uh, I don't know if you guys noticed,
00:15:40but there's only one bed in there,
00:15:42and it's not big enough for all of us, so...
00:15:44No, no, no, no, no.
00:15:46If you two think you're getting the bed because you're the couple,
00:15:48you are wildly mistaken.
00:15:50Guys, wait. Don't you want to look
00:15:52for the money?
00:15:56Scratch that one.
00:15:58Baby, don't be mad.
00:16:00Money would be nice, but we're just not gonna find it tonight.
00:16:02Oh, so that's it?
00:16:04You guys are just gonna give up after a few minutes?
00:16:06Come on. I told you guys
00:16:08this is the last chance to really look for the money
00:16:10before we sell the place.
00:16:12Steph, did it ever occur to you that the moving men
00:16:14might need the money more than we do?
00:16:16You've never
00:16:18been generous.
00:16:20Times change.
00:16:22Oh, so you've seen the light, eh?
00:16:24When's the last time you even spoke to me before Mom died?
00:16:26What?
00:16:28How long?
00:16:30How long's it been?
00:16:32I don't know.
00:16:34Christmas?
00:16:36Then maybe summer before?
00:16:38Exactly. So if you ever took the time
00:16:40to get to know me a little better,
00:16:42you'd know that I'm actually a pretty generous person.
00:16:44Julia always says
00:16:46whenever you lose something, someone probably
00:16:48needs it more than we do.
00:16:50Cute. Well, before you got saved by Julia,
00:16:52I don't really think that was your philosophy.
00:16:54God, all you two ever do is fight.
00:16:56Maybe we should go back to dancing.
00:16:58That's a great way to put somebody's eye out.
00:17:00Let's just go to sleep.
00:17:02Oh, you guys suck.
00:17:04I get the bed.
00:17:06Jeff, don't take this the wrong way,
00:17:08but you're a complete stranger,
00:17:10and you're not sleeping in my mother's bed.
00:17:12I'm perfectly fine just sleeping right here.
00:17:16I'll do that too.
00:17:18If my flight's not canceled,
00:17:20knock on wood,
00:17:22I'll just get my sleep on the plane.
00:17:24Julia always says she gets her best sleep
00:17:26on planes.
00:17:28Goddammit, would you shut up about Julia?
00:17:30It's like you're in love with her.
00:17:34Yeah, I love Julia as a friend.
00:17:42No. Wait a minute.
00:17:44You do love her.
00:17:46You have a little crush.
00:17:48In fact, now that I think about it,
00:17:50every time you've been on a trip,
00:17:52it's been with her.
00:17:54I think you'd better drop that.
00:17:56No, I think you should tell me about it.
00:17:58You have a little crush.
00:18:00My life isn't your business, got that?
00:18:02Alex, you're cutting me.
00:18:04Hey, hey, get off my girlfriend.
00:18:08Are you hurt?
00:18:10Her nails stabbed me.
00:18:12This is getting so trippy.
00:18:14Shut up, Jeff.
00:18:18I'm fine.
00:18:20I just...
00:18:22Yeah, she's always been very private
00:18:24about her personal life.
00:18:26I feel like I know her a little better.
00:18:28I'll get you something for that.
00:18:30No, I'll go.
00:18:34This is Mom's chemical box.
00:18:36She used to be a chemist back when she studied.
00:18:38So your mom collected chemicals
00:18:40and White Castle cheeseburgers.
00:18:42I do believe we are just scratching the surface
00:18:44of a secret life here.
00:18:46What's in that chemical box?
00:18:48Uh, three things.
00:18:50Alcohol, cough syrup,
00:18:52and liquid ammonia.
00:18:54There's a combination you don't hear every day.
00:18:56Yeah, I must have missed this when I was looking
00:18:58through the bathroom earlier.
00:19:00Did you look through the whole bathroom?
00:19:02Yeah, I'll come back on Monday
00:19:04and help you look.
00:19:06But you're working.
00:19:08I got laid off.
00:19:10What?
00:19:12And so did Jeff.
00:19:14Jeff!
00:19:16But I don't get it.
00:19:18You were just telling me how much your boss liked you.
00:19:20How you impressed him.
00:19:22I don't know about you, but it's a small hotel
00:19:24in the middle of nowhere, so when they got a downsize,
00:19:26they got a downsize.
00:19:28Hey, the boss liked me, too. You don't have to brag.
00:19:30Anyway, lowering the overhead meant us.
00:19:32Why didn't you tell me?
00:19:34Because your mom just died, and it's been so frustrating.
00:19:36Like, what am I doing?
00:19:38I'm two years out of college, and I've been wasting them.
00:19:40It's one thing to get fired when you mess up,
00:19:42but these last four months have been a waste
00:19:44just because their business is bad.
00:19:46Hey, I'm mad, too, all right?
00:19:48I invested a lot for those people.
00:19:50It's like ends meet.
00:19:52Now they go and take my ends meet away from me.
00:19:54Which is a really good point.
00:19:56Both of you really need the money right now,
00:19:58and here we are looking for a fortune.
00:20:00Yeah, and we haven't found it yet.
00:20:02What are you saying?
00:20:04I just think it would be something
00:20:06if one of you found it
00:20:08while we weren't looking and ceased to mention it.
00:20:10Ha ha, very funny.
00:20:12You realize the same thing could be said about you.
00:20:14What?
00:20:16You've been out of sight, too, for the past few minutes.
00:20:18Yeah, but I don't have the same incentive you do.
00:20:20Maybe you wanted to buy your girlfriend something.
00:20:22Zing!
00:20:24Listen, Steph, I'm sorry I hurt you.
00:20:26I overreacted.
00:20:28Great, thanks.
00:20:30Now I'm stuck in a dark apartment after midnight bleeding to death.
00:20:32Quit acting. You'll live.
00:20:34Anyway, anything you say about Julia is fine.
00:20:38My life's your life.
00:20:44Great.
00:20:46While you two make up, I'm taking the bed.
00:20:48Hold it.
00:20:50She's got a point.
00:20:52What's that?
00:20:54Well, all three of you are out of my sight.
00:20:56Any one of you could have found the money.
00:20:58Steph, I'm sorry,
00:21:00but if you're going to accuse me,
00:21:02then you're really pushing it.
00:21:04How the hell could I have pocketed any money
00:21:06when I've had my pants off for the past 90 minutes?
00:21:10You can strip search me if you like.
00:21:12Okay, okay.
00:21:14I'm sorry.
00:21:16I didn't mean to accuse anyone.
00:21:18I should know better.
00:21:20But it did seem odd that the minute the lights went out,
00:21:22the three of you couldn't care less about a big load of cash.
00:21:24All right, okay.
00:21:26You know what we'll do?
00:21:28Because we're all getting really grumpy and tired
00:21:30and annoyed with the heat,
00:21:32I suggest we combat all three by each taking a little shower,
00:21:34and by then hopefully the lights will be back up,
00:21:36and you'll see how psyched we can be about finding some money.
00:21:38Okay.
00:21:40So while you three do that,
00:21:42Hey, genius, instead of just one of us taking the bed,
00:21:44why don't we all go sleep together?
00:21:46Now that's an idea.
00:21:48I meant by the bed.
00:21:50Okay.
00:21:52While you three work that out,
00:21:54I'm going to take the first shower.
00:22:08I can't take this.
00:22:10I thought you were so sleepy.
00:22:12Yeah, well, it's hard to sleep with all this tension in the room.
00:22:14She's not such a good bed partner, is she?
00:22:16Apparently neither are you.
00:22:18What was that?
00:22:20Hold on, Alex.
00:22:22Why don't we just talk about this?
00:22:24Talk about what? Did I have a gay crush?
00:22:26Yeah.
00:22:28Does that make you uncomfortable?
00:22:30No. Does talking about it make you uncomfortable?
00:22:32Kinda.
00:22:34This reminds me of a joke.
00:22:36Jeff, is this going to be another one of your stupid gags?
00:22:38No, no, no.
00:22:40That girl who told me I look like the guy from YouTube?
00:22:42She told me this one.
00:22:44Yeah, she's a regular of old, too.
00:22:46Okay, okay.
00:22:48What does a gay cow say?
00:22:50What?
00:22:52Hey.
00:22:54Hey.
00:22:56Hey.
00:22:58I think you've talked enough.
00:23:00Jeff, that joke didn't even make sense.
00:23:02Because cows eat hay?
00:23:04Yeah, I picked that up.
00:23:06What I don't get is why your cow is a stereotypical gay man.
00:23:08Cows are female.
00:23:10Yeah, but this cow is male.
00:23:12Then it's a bull.
00:23:14No, but in the world of the joke,
00:23:16the cow is male.
00:23:18So the audience of your joke
00:23:20needs to know that you're in some
00:23:22sci-fi fictional world?
00:23:24Yeah.
00:23:26I don't get it.
00:23:28I don't get it.
00:23:30I don't get it.
00:23:32I don't get it.
00:23:34What did you call it?
00:23:36Um, I said
00:23:38gay cow.
00:23:42Then I assumed it's a lesbian cow.
00:23:44No, the cow is
00:23:46not a lesbian. The cow
00:23:48is gay.
00:23:50Now see, that is a sentence I never thought I would hear.
00:23:52A woman can be called gay as well.
00:23:54Yes, but
00:23:56when I hear that someone is
00:23:58gay, I associate that with male
00:24:00homosexuality, not female.
00:24:02Why don't you just avoid this whole gender
00:24:04dispute by saying a gay bull?
00:24:06Because bulls don't eat hay.
00:24:08Actually, come to think of it,
00:24:10do cows even eat hay? See, I think that might
00:24:12just be horses.
00:24:14This joke really backfired on me.
00:24:16Next.
00:24:18I'll go.
00:24:20I'm getting
00:24:22booed off stage here.
00:24:26So Steph, when you hear
00:24:28a gay cow, what does that make you think of?
00:24:30Did
00:24:32you just call me sister cow?
00:24:34No.
00:24:36I know exactly what he's talking about.
00:24:48Okay, would you guys
00:24:50tell your mom to stop haunting this house?
00:24:54You know, I barely saw mom during Christmas.
00:24:56Yeah, what happened?
00:24:58I don't know.
00:25:00Mother-daughter junk.
00:25:02Guess it'll never get worked out now.
00:25:04No, it had
00:25:06nothing to do with my crush.
00:25:08Favorite topic of the evening.
00:25:10You know,
00:25:12how she always used to say,
00:25:14I'm so incorrigible.
00:25:16I was
00:25:18incorrigible.
00:25:20I got that from her.
00:25:22In college, I had all these friends,
00:25:24both male and
00:25:26female, don't get any ideas.
00:25:30Remember what I used to do during my breaks?
00:25:32Yeah,
00:25:34you stopped coming home for
00:25:36Christmas or
00:25:38Thanksgiving or whatever, found someone else to
00:25:40spend it with.
00:25:42And it wasn't even anything against mom.
00:25:44I wasn't even mad at her.
00:25:46They were like my family.
00:25:48This is even pre-Julia.
00:25:50This was Doug,
00:25:52Mark, and Mia.
00:25:54Now they're just somewhere.
00:25:56I don't even know where. I think
00:25:58Mark's in Connecticut and Doug's
00:26:00somewhere up north.
00:26:02So you got post-college depression
00:26:04and you miss your friends. So does everybody.
00:26:06There's no reason to leave your family.
00:26:08Don't.
00:26:10No, wait. I deserve that.
00:26:12You've even been nice
00:26:14enough to come out and help your girlfriend through this
00:26:16tough time. And it wasn't even your
00:26:18mom who died.
00:26:20And you've just gotten laid.
00:26:22What?
00:26:24Sorry.
00:26:26I was going to say laid off.
00:26:28And then I stopped at laid and it was funnier.
00:26:32Have you though?
00:26:34What? Slept together?
00:26:36That's an inappropriate question to ask
00:26:38anybody, let alone a family member.
00:26:40Uh, Bruce, she knows.
00:26:42I told her on the phone. What?
00:26:44We're girls. We talk about this stuff.
00:26:46I just wanted to
00:26:48see what you'd say.
00:26:50Thanks, genius, for calling me bluff.
00:26:52Oh, you're incorrigible.
00:26:56Alright, who's up?
00:26:58I kept it quick. There isn't much hot water.
00:27:00I'll go.
00:27:02So Voltaire's back. Or her boyfriend, I mean.
00:27:04What's wrong with you?
00:27:06What?
00:27:08You're chewing everyone out like you've got something to be
00:27:10defensive about. And please,
00:27:12don't give me another soliloquy about your
00:27:14college friends.
00:27:16I fight back when everyone gangs up on me.
00:27:18And anyway, what was your deal with Mom?
00:27:20Nothing. Perfect
00:27:22daughter. You were always insecure
00:27:24with her.
00:27:26I guess so.
00:27:28She put tons of pressure on both of us.
00:27:30But frankly, it didn't affect me.
00:27:32I wiped my ass off her.
00:27:34Quite well, I might add. But you.
00:27:36You put up with her.
00:27:38She drove your boyfriends away
00:27:40and that's why you never introduced this one to her.
00:27:42And now,
00:27:44you're perky because she died
00:27:46and you want to look for money.
00:27:48Are you done?
00:27:50Guess so.
00:27:52You know, if I believed you, I'd be offended
00:27:54by all the crackpot logic spewing out of you.
00:27:56But I don't, because I know you.
00:27:58And you've
00:28:00always been tough, but you're just as insecure
00:28:02as I am. You know how to get under my skin.
00:28:04Bravo.
00:28:06You know,
00:28:08I thought we'd do something together this weekend
00:28:10since we never see each other.
00:28:12Don't worry.
00:28:14I learned my lesson.
00:28:18Boo!
00:28:22You call this a catfight?
00:28:24What catfight?
00:28:26You two have been at each other's throats all night.
00:28:28Fight already!
00:28:30We have more class than that.
00:28:32Yeah, we're sisters.
00:28:34We really love each other under all this hostility.
00:28:36Well, we'll see about that.
00:28:38Sure, sure, sure.
00:28:40All I know is there's a long night ahead of us
00:28:42It's not over.
00:28:44That's for certain.
00:28:46It might not be, but I think I hit the nail
00:28:48right on the head with you, Steph.
00:28:50Well, since you're so critical, what is your advice?
00:28:52My advice to you
00:28:54and to Jeff and to Bruce
00:28:56is get your heads out of the toilet
00:28:58and realize that life
00:29:00happens.
00:29:02Mothers die, boyfriends get fired,
00:29:04and people drink champagne.
00:29:06Good things happen
00:29:08and bad things happen.
00:29:10There's no real way life is supposed to be.
00:29:14Thank you for the Ferris Bueller monologue.
00:29:16No, it's true.
00:29:18Maybe I've been a bitch tonight,
00:29:20but out of all of you, I'm the only one happy.
00:29:22Amen.
00:29:30Guess I'm up.
00:29:40She's nuts.
00:29:42What happened?
00:29:44My sister just humiliated me by showing what a complete
00:29:46whack job she is.
00:29:48I thought you said this was going to be a fun night.
00:29:50Did I say that?
00:29:52Yeah, you did, Bruce.
00:29:54Oh, Jeff, come on over. Help me and my girlfriend
00:29:56move her dead mom's stuff. It'll be totally awesome.
00:29:58We'll spend the whole night just chit-chatting away,
00:30:00eating and drinking and having a good time.
00:30:02Yeah, it's been a real trip to the fun house. Thanks.
00:30:04Well, I didn't know the lights were going to go out.
00:30:06Everything was just fine before that happened.
00:30:08I'm sorry about tonight's problems.
00:30:10Things change when you're marooned like this in the dark.
00:30:12You change. It's like being in the jungle.
00:30:14This place is about as filthy as the jungle.
00:30:16You think it's the dark
00:30:18that's turning my sister into a bitch?
00:30:20Well, let me give you a good example.
00:30:22Jeff, you may want to cover your ears for this.
00:30:24No, there's no covering ears here.
00:30:26I mean, Alex already humiliated me
00:30:28in front of him, so what humiliating thing
00:30:30did you have to say? Baby, calm down.
00:30:32I'm waiting.
00:30:34Okay, so let's just say this.
00:30:36Would you ever sell your body?
00:30:38No, absolutely not.
00:30:40Okay, but now imagine that you're broke, homeless,
00:30:42whatever, you name it.
00:30:44Now would you?
00:30:46I'm sure plenty of homeless people
00:30:48face that conundrum every day.
00:30:50But would you? No.
00:30:52Would you? Are you kidding?
00:30:54I don't even need to be homeless.
00:30:56The point is, when you're living
00:30:58in the dark, you change.
00:31:00You didn't prove anything.
00:31:02Jeff didn't have any morals
00:31:04to begin with, and I did.
00:31:06Well, you wait a couple more hours in the dark.
00:31:08See if your answer changes.
00:31:10Let's say you're right.
00:31:12What bothers me is
00:31:14the best example you can come up with
00:31:16is one that degrades women.
00:31:18I don't see how it's degrading to women.
00:31:20Would you sell your body to a man?
00:31:24Now you see my point.
00:31:30Hi, gang.
00:31:32I think we're all awake now.
00:31:34Fantastic.
00:31:36And I am out of here.
00:31:46Where are you going?
00:31:48Face it, Steph.
00:31:50The lights aren't coming back on anytime soon.
00:31:52We're not gonna find a treasure chest in all this junk.
00:31:54I don't even want to know what's living in that kitchen.
00:31:56And I'm sick of hanging around here
00:31:58with all this Tennessee Williams stuff.
00:32:02And the fact that your mom
00:32:04is haunting the place right now?
00:32:06Really not helping.
00:32:08Yeah, but you can't go home, though.
00:32:10Remember, Washington Avenue is closed till 6 a.m.
00:32:12I'll get a motel room and get some sleep.
00:32:14You know, honey, that doesn't sound like that bad of an idea.
00:32:16Yeah, but all the motels around here
00:32:18will be part of the blackout, too.
00:32:20I will walk five towns over if I have to.
00:32:22Wait.
00:32:24I know I've been really difficult tonight
00:32:26to all three of you, and I'm sorry.
00:32:28But going out driving in the middle of the night
00:32:30is probably not the best idea.
00:32:32You had plans to come here and stay the night.
00:32:34Let's call a truce.
00:32:38Nope.
00:32:40Wait.
00:32:42She's right, and we owe it to Steph
00:32:44to at least look for this money until 6 a.m.
00:32:46This night's gonna put us all in therapy.
00:32:48Look, I don't have a job,
00:32:50and come tomorrow, I have no idea
00:32:52what I'm doing for the rest of my life.
00:32:54I don't want to sound greedy,
00:32:56but, you know, I could use a little money.
00:32:58So I prefer if we didn't leave here
00:33:00until we found it.
00:33:02You know, Bruce, when you say that you got fired,
00:33:04you do remind me that I was fired, too.
00:33:08All right.
00:33:10Let's keep searching.
00:33:28♪ ♪
00:33:30♪ ♪
00:33:56All right.
00:33:58Steph, the inevitable.
00:34:00What?
00:34:02The books.
00:34:04That's more of a mom thing, to hide your things in her books.
00:34:06Knew this was coming.
00:34:08♪ ♪
00:34:28♪ ♪
00:34:58♪ ♪
00:35:10How convenient of your mother
00:35:12to have collected every single book under the sun.
00:35:14It wasn't her fault.
00:35:16Mom had a boyfriend for a while
00:35:18who used to give her books.
00:35:20She used to joke it was a compulsion.
00:35:22So in short,
00:35:24your mother collected books,
00:35:26chemicals,
00:35:28and White Castle cheeseburgers.
00:35:30And dillas.
00:35:32Don't forget my dillas.
00:35:34Well,
00:35:36she did live here for 12 years.
00:35:38It's part of the American experience.
00:35:40Collecting a lot of stuff.
00:35:4212 years?
00:35:44Jeez.
00:35:46That's more than half my life.
00:35:48Let's close the book on that chapter.
00:35:50No pun intended, Steph.
00:35:52No, but, I mean,
00:35:54this is where I learned to play the cello.
00:35:56And,
00:35:58I don't know, that window over there
00:36:00is where I first became religious.
00:36:02A window made you religious?
00:36:12When dawn comes, you'll see what I mean.
00:36:14Christ, here comes another sermon.
00:36:16I mean, it's not like it happened
00:36:18one day and I got saved, but
00:36:20just
00:36:22years and years of walking by
00:36:24this window every morning
00:36:26when the light shines in.
00:36:28Little rays, you know?
00:36:30Beams.
00:36:32Golden beams.
00:36:34Like someone wants to shine in on you.
00:36:38It made me wonder why we had
00:36:40day and night
00:36:42and green
00:36:44and brown
00:36:46and leaves on the trees.
00:36:48And the smell.
00:36:50Just a sweet,
00:36:52wild and lonely smell
00:36:54that just
00:36:56gets in your mind.
00:36:58Made me want to climb mountains.
00:37:02Well,
00:37:04when dawn comes,
00:37:06you'll see what I mean.
00:37:12That's not really being religious, Steph.
00:37:14What?
00:37:16You had a
00:37:18quasi-mystical response to nature.
00:37:20I've had that too.
00:37:22It makes you wonder
00:37:24what life's about.
00:37:26Why you're here.
00:37:28You just don't understand.
00:37:30No, I do. Do you know what nirvana is?
00:37:34And yes, rest in peace, Cobain.
00:37:36That's not the nirvana I'm referring to.
00:37:38I mean the nirvana in Buddhism.
00:37:40I'm not Buddhist.
00:37:42It's a state of not wanting anything.
00:37:44Complete bliss.
00:37:46You had your nirvana.
00:37:48Yeah, I heard there's like two sects of Buddhism, right?
00:37:50Yeah, I studied all this in college.
00:37:52The first one sees Buddha
00:37:54sort of as a teacher,
00:37:56someone to follow, and the other one
00:37:58more as a god, someone to worship.
00:38:00I mean, people just really like having gods.
00:38:02You just haven't
00:38:04experienced what I have.
00:38:06Oh yeah, you've testified to the Holy Spirit.
00:38:08Very much.
00:38:10Yeah, so tell me this.
00:38:12Why are you having sex with your boyfriend over here?
00:38:14You're just a harpy about sex, aren't you?
00:38:16No, no.
00:38:18I'm cool. I'm real cool.
00:38:20Alright, alright, alright.
00:38:22How about this?
00:38:24How about no more repressed hostility?
00:38:26From now on, why don't we all just speak openly?
00:38:28Yeah, if somebody asks you a question about sex,
00:38:30you just answer it.
00:38:32That's not exactly what I meant.
00:38:34No, I'll answer your question, Alex.
00:38:36Making love can be
00:38:38very romantic, and I
00:38:40happen to be in love with Bruce.
00:38:42Yeah, adorable, but from a dogmatic
00:38:44point of view...
00:38:46Yes, you're right. Lust is considered
00:38:48wrong, but I disagree with that.
00:38:50It's unrealistic to tell a couple not to have
00:38:52sex. I mean, we've all
00:38:54been in serious relationships, right?
00:38:56You just...
00:38:58That has nothing to do with what I experienced
00:39:00by the window.
00:39:02Exactly. Spirituality and dogmatic religion have nothing
00:39:04to do with nothing, and you've proven that
00:39:06just as sure as you are horny.
00:39:08You're being way too clinical here.
00:39:10Who was your first lay?
00:39:12What?
00:39:14Who was your first lay?
00:39:16Okay, well, if we're gonna volunteer our sexual
00:39:18histories here, you're next.
00:39:20Fair game.
00:39:22Okay, I've only ever slept with Stephanie.
00:39:24Could you get it up
00:39:26the first time?
00:39:28Okay, you stooped to a new low.
00:39:30Okay, how many people have you
00:39:32had sex with?
00:39:34Zero.
00:39:36What?
00:39:38I'm a female.
00:39:40Really? But Alex, you're older than I am.
00:39:42What can I say? I've been confused.
00:39:44Yeah, you're a basket case.
00:39:46You haven't said a single thing that's made sense all night.
00:39:48I guess I'm having a lesbian cow moment.
00:39:50I still don't get what that means.
00:39:52Would you stop making fun of my joke?
00:39:54I forgot you were even here, Jeff.
00:39:56Oh, no. You stay right there.
00:39:58You are one vicious bitch.
00:40:00I'm playing nice. I haven't yelled at you at all
00:40:02in two hours.
00:40:04I mean it. You stay right there.
00:40:06Did it ever occur to you that your joke
00:40:08is offensive to both lesbians and cattle?
00:40:10Well, if you were openly
00:40:12gay, I would understand maybe why you take
00:40:14such issue with, like, this mindless joke.
00:40:16But you don't even know who you are.
00:40:18What's that supposed to mean?
00:40:20It means you're in the closet, and you're too confused to know
00:40:22even how far back.
00:40:24He's right, Alex. You are deep in the closet.
00:40:26You are so far back,
00:40:28you're where the snow and the lamppost are.
00:40:30That's a wardrobe-o-literary scholar.
00:40:32The point being,
00:40:34are you a lesby or not?
00:40:36I don't know. I haven't really thought about it.
00:40:38Oh, please. I don't buy that for a second.
00:40:40What, are you going to assault me now,
00:40:42like you assaulted your sister?
00:40:44Is that going to happen every time we talk about this?
00:40:46I've just never put much thought into it.
00:40:48Well, you sure have put a lot of thought into everything else,
00:40:50like how to break all three of us.
00:40:52Maybe you're the one who can't get it up.
00:40:54Really, genius? I can't get it up?
00:40:56Do I need to teach you about the female anatomy?
00:40:58Or were you too busy not getting that
00:41:00while you were doing my sister?
00:41:02No, he's right.
00:41:04You've never done it,
00:41:06and your one crush is unattainable.
00:41:08You're the impotent one.
00:41:10Well...
00:41:14Checkmate?
00:41:18Man, I should feel vindictive now,
00:41:20but I just feel awkward.
00:41:22How about we make friends?
00:41:24No, I don't trust any of you,
00:41:26particularly you.
00:41:28Why, because I told a stupid joke?
00:41:30Yes.
00:41:32Whoa.
00:41:34Okay, there is definitely
00:41:36some kind of ghost in here.
00:41:40What's your Julia, Jeff?
00:41:42What?
00:41:44You're not making any sense.
00:41:46Sorry, lesbian cow moment.
00:41:48But no, I'm asking a serious question.
00:41:50What's your Julia?
00:41:52We all know what my Julia is.
00:41:54It's been exposed for the whole world to see.
00:41:56But what's your Julia?
00:41:58I know what it is.
00:42:00It's not just one girl.
00:42:02It's the whole lot of them.
00:42:04It's because you can't get any.
00:42:06What?
00:42:08What are you talking about? You're not making any sense.
00:42:10You look like the guy on YouTube is the best you could get.
00:42:12And I've heard these aren't even
00:42:14the most successful of your exploits.
00:42:16So in truth,
00:42:18you're no different than me.
00:42:20Dumber? Yes.
00:42:22Lacking in personal sanitation?
00:42:24Yes, but sexually quite impotent.
00:42:26So I think you should join me
00:42:28on the floor of shame over here.
00:42:30Jeff is nowhere near as bad as you.
00:42:32Well, I like to think of biting wit as a virtue.
00:42:36Unless you mean that somehow I should be ashamed
00:42:38of having a gay crush.
00:42:40Oh, well at least you're actually saying the word now.
00:42:42What do you know?
00:42:44You men walk around with your shirts and pants off
00:42:46and think that you're entitled to everything on earth.
00:42:48Wow.
00:42:50I guess it's true what they say
00:42:52about lesbians hating men.
00:42:54Believe me, sweetie, that part of my personality
00:42:56has been in play long ago.
00:43:02So, should we go back to looking for the money?
00:43:04You and your stupid money.
00:43:06I never want to hear the word
00:43:08money again after tonight.
00:43:10Look, we're all cranky
00:43:12from lack of sleep.
00:43:14Therefore, I suggest we all take a nap.
00:43:16It'll be daylight in a few hours anyway.
00:43:18I have a flight to catch tomorrow.
00:43:20Unless it's cancelled.
00:43:22Maybe they'll let me keep the rental card for another day.
00:43:24Maybe they'll tell you where to put it.
00:43:26What was that?
00:43:28I said maybe they'll tell you where to get pudding.
00:43:30I'm sorry.
00:43:32I was just having a lesbian cow moment.
00:43:36Well, I'm going to take a nap.
00:43:38I don't even care about the bed.
00:43:42Here, here.
00:43:44Come on.
00:43:52I'm sorry.
00:44:00I'm really not that tired.
00:44:02I mean, I knew we'd be up tonight.
00:44:04Well, we had enough
00:44:06of an adventure tonight.
00:44:12Look,
00:44:14I guess I should apologise for my sister.
00:44:16What the holy hell is wrong with her?
00:44:18I don't know.
00:44:20I knew she was aggressive,
00:44:22but I've never seen her lash out at a complete stranger like that.
00:44:24I guess he really hit a nerve tonight.
00:44:26Well, you started it.
00:44:28You were the one who spotted the crush.
00:44:36I can't sleep.
00:44:38This bed is uncomfortable.
00:44:40Fine, don't sleep. Just let me rest.
00:44:44I know one thing we like to do
00:44:46when we can't sleep.
00:44:48Yeah, but tonight's probably not the best night for that.
00:44:50I'll change that
00:44:52in a few seconds.
00:44:58Okay.
00:45:00Okay.
00:45:16Close your eyes.
00:45:30Is that what I think it is?
00:45:32Yep.
00:45:34What are you doing?
00:45:36Did you find the money?
00:45:38You're kidding me.
00:45:40Did you find the money and not tell me?
00:45:42With all due respect, you have a good motive for not doing so.
00:45:44No, that's not possible. Where would I hide it?
00:45:46In my ass?
00:45:48I just want to be sure.
00:45:50Get out of here.
00:45:54Gotcha.
00:45:56Okay.
00:45:58You made me wet myself.
00:46:00That's great. Thanks.
00:46:02You know, I know you're not going to murder me, though.
00:46:04Oh, yeah?
00:46:06Because you're too religious.
00:46:08Yeah, well, what can I say?
00:46:10Being in the dark changes your morals.
00:46:14So?
00:46:16You going to tell me what's going on?
00:46:28Yeah, like seven months ago.
00:46:30Am I like excess baggage?
00:46:32No, you're great.
00:46:34It's just...
00:46:38He took everything.
00:46:40It's like...
00:46:42I got home one day and...
00:46:44and him and half my stuff were gone
00:46:46and he never answered his phone again.
00:46:48He even took my cello,
00:46:50which he doesn't play,
00:46:52just to hurt me, I guess.
00:46:54I could really use
00:46:56the money right now.
00:46:58And it doesn't help that
00:47:00I hate my job and my boss.
00:47:02That bitch makes me get on the floor
00:47:04to fix the firewire cables.
00:47:06I mean,
00:47:08I wish...
00:47:10I wish my boss was a Julia,
00:47:12you know?
00:47:14Like, she paid me,
00:47:16gave me the respect I deserve.
00:47:18Sure, I'd fall in love with the dicks.
00:47:20So that's what you want, the money?
00:47:22Yes. Damn it, I have a bachelor's.
00:47:24I mean, I shouldn't be running office errands
00:47:26and fixing cables.
00:47:28I want to quit
00:47:30and start writing again.
00:47:32I feel trapped, you know?
00:47:34Like...
00:47:36Like I'm the one that can't get it up.
00:47:38Well, I'm sorry you feel that way.
00:47:40You know, everybody's first job sucks.
00:47:42I know.
00:47:44But what's the point?
00:47:46They don't give you a position to move up to.
00:47:48Well, I don't know.
00:47:50You certainly are your sister's sister.
00:47:52I don't know what that means,
00:47:54but I have a feeling you're right.
00:47:56I mean, you can both get angry.
00:47:58You're both dramatic.
00:48:00You'd both kill me to prove a point.
00:48:02That's just our sense of humor.
00:48:04We definitely inherited that from Mom.
00:48:06Yeah, I think you've inherited
00:48:08more than you'd like to share.
00:48:10But anyway, it doesn't matter.
00:48:12Sorry about Julia.
00:48:14She's a bitch.
00:48:16I know.
00:48:18Sorry about your job.
00:48:20You didn't deserve that.
00:48:22I know.
00:48:24That's exactly what my boss said,
00:48:26which just made it sting even worse.
00:48:28But anyway,
00:48:30I guess I can take some pleasure
00:48:32lying here,
00:48:34reminiscing about how much life sucks.
00:48:36The problem is,
00:48:38what do you do when you have to get up?
00:48:40I don't know.
00:48:44You know, I feel like I've known you
00:48:46a lot longer than
00:48:48however many months you said it was.
00:48:50Five.
00:48:52Yeah. You're a lot wiser
00:48:54than your years.
00:48:56That's complimented by your sister.
00:48:58What's that mean?
00:49:00Well, that I wondered about you.
00:49:04Well,
00:49:06if it makes you feel any better,
00:49:08you're all I have.
00:49:10I mean, I'm sure we won't see much
00:49:12of Alex after tonight,
00:49:14but you're the only person
00:49:16I'm close to.
00:49:18But
00:49:20you've been good to me.
00:49:22More like
00:49:24a husband than a boyfriend, you know?
00:49:26Boyfriends come and go,
00:49:28and then
00:49:30one day when you're at a friend's house,
00:49:32they come over and steal
00:49:34your friggin' cello!
00:49:38I'm sure if I had a cello,
00:49:40you wouldn't steal it.
00:49:43Oh, I don't know.
00:49:45What I do know
00:49:47is that life is not
00:49:49a fairy tale.
00:49:51It's been a hard pill to swallow
00:49:53coming from someone who grew up
00:49:55bringing Jane to Austin.
00:49:57Oh, I'd like to think I'm not as bad as all that.
00:49:59You're not.
00:50:04Hey.
00:50:08Why'd you tell your sister about us?
00:50:10What?
00:50:12You know that we did it.
00:50:14Like you don't tell your guy friends.
00:50:16Yeah, but they're not gonna grill you in your face
00:50:18because you couldn't get it up.
00:50:20You did have trouble getting it up at first.
00:50:22Yeah, I know.
00:50:24I mean, it's okay.
00:50:26You just gotta learn the ropes.
00:50:28Gotta learn how to properly stimulate the little guy.
00:50:32It was kinda cute in retrospect.
00:50:34Yeah, it was.
00:50:36Hey, you know, it wouldn't have been
00:50:38this honeymoon if we'd have waited.
00:50:42Sex has been good for me.
00:50:44I hope it's been good for you, too.
00:50:50Do you think we'll ever get married?
00:50:52You can't ask a question like that
00:50:54after five months.
00:50:56Ugh, I'm not proposing.
00:50:58I just wanna see
00:51:00if you could see it working.
00:51:04Honestly?
00:51:06No, not right now.
00:51:08It's not because I don't care about you, because I do.
00:51:10But it's just like,
00:51:12I don't think we're mature.
00:51:14Well,
00:51:16that's kinda my point.
00:51:18That we, all four of us,
00:51:20are not yet mature.
00:51:22What do you mean, immature?
00:51:24No, there's a difference.
00:51:26I mean, I agree with you.
00:51:28I don't wanna be a wife.
00:51:30And I love you.
00:51:32And I'm glad we're here
00:51:34sharing a moment.
00:51:38A moment where I say,
00:51:40I don't think I'm gonna marry you?
00:51:42No,
00:51:44a moment of honesty.
00:51:48Fine.
00:51:50Fair enough.
00:51:52Let's just share our moment of bliss, then.
00:52:00Whoa.
00:52:04Ah!
00:52:08What is it?
00:52:10Someone hit me.
00:52:12Hello? I've been right here
00:52:14the whole time.
00:52:16What do you mean, hit?
00:52:18Okay, maybe not like hit, but grazed me?
00:52:20Jeff, do you honestly
00:52:22think it was me?
00:52:24No.
00:52:26No, I guess it couldn't have been you.
00:52:28I opened my eyes right after it happened,
00:52:30you were sitting right there, so that
00:52:32wouldn't make sense.
00:52:34I don't know, I wouldn't put it past Alex to feel up a random person
00:52:36and then jump back.
00:52:38Enough. Look, there's like a ghost in here.
00:52:40Stop saying that, you've been saying that all night.
00:52:42Does it not strike you guys there's something a little off in this house
00:52:44and has been ever since we got here?
00:52:46Maybe you've been in the dark too much.
00:52:48No, no, no, no, no.
00:52:50There is a ghost here. Look at this, I'm bleeding.
00:52:52You did that just now, you nimrod.
00:52:54Look, you're squeezing it.
00:52:56Does it really hurt that bad?
00:52:58I mean, I already got assaulted tonight.
00:53:00I guess it hurts I have a wound.
00:53:02Maybe this ghost
00:53:04is the patron
00:53:06saint
00:53:08of lesbian cows.
00:53:10Come on.
00:53:12I'll tend to it.
00:53:22I've always hated this bathroom.
00:53:24Me too.
00:53:26I think some of my first drinks were in here.
00:53:28A little vodka in high school.
00:53:30Every time you visited mom, you always asked to go to the bathroom.
00:53:32Yeah.
00:53:34Most of my memories of that toilet are
00:53:36throwing up in it.
00:53:38Hi, my name is Jeff and I'm bleeding.
00:53:40Wait a second.
00:53:42Here's the alcohol
00:53:44and the cough syrup.
00:53:46Where's the liquid ammonia?
00:53:52I'm dead serious, it's liquid ammonia.
00:53:54It's a chemical, it's dangerous.
00:53:56Well, I didn't take it.
00:53:58Neither did I.
00:54:00You all showered in here, you were all alone in the bathroom.
00:54:02I mean, unless we showered
00:54:04in the ammonia, I don't know where it would have gone.
00:54:06You can check our pockets if you want.
00:54:08Steph, why would anyone steal ammonia?
00:54:10Was the money in there or something?
00:54:12No, it obviously
00:54:14wouldn't have fit.
00:54:16So what's the big deal?
00:54:18The big deal is that it was here a few minutes ago
00:54:20and the fact that it's missing is a little creepy.
00:54:24And once again,
00:54:26I'm out of here.
00:54:28You're off again?
00:54:32What, so you're going now?
00:54:34I'm freaked out
00:54:36enough as it is and I'm sure that a shrink
00:54:38would find all three of you very special.
00:54:40You don't really think
00:54:42there's a ghost in here, do you?
00:54:44I'm sorry.
00:54:46I'm not shaggy and I can't be bribed with
00:54:48Scooby Snacks to stay and face a ghost.
00:54:50Zoinks!
00:54:52Steph, it's almost 5.
00:54:54Washington Avenue will be open at 6 a.m.
00:54:56There are plenty
00:54:58of other ways to pass an hour.
00:55:00Till 6.
00:55:02That's what you agreed to.
00:55:10This has been the longest night
00:55:12in the history of my life.
00:55:14In one night, I've seen the worst out of all three of you.
00:55:16And I just met you two girls.
00:55:18Hey man, I haven't been that bad.
00:55:20No, that's right.
00:55:22You're exonerated.
00:55:24Look, I'm bleeding, I'm tired,
00:55:26and I stink.
00:55:28I'm still here.
00:55:32So what do you suggest we do
00:55:34for the remaining hour?
00:55:36Well, we never
00:55:38finished the books. We could give another run
00:55:40at it.
00:55:44Okay.
00:55:46One
00:55:48more hour, alright?
00:55:50Then I'm outta here.
00:55:52See ya!
00:56:18Come on.
00:56:44Come on.
00:56:48Come on.
00:57:00It looks really nice out, guys.
00:57:02You wanna go for a walk?
00:57:18Come on.
00:57:38It's like someone wants to shine in on you.
00:57:42It made me wonder why we had
00:57:44day and night and
00:57:46and green
00:57:48and brown
00:57:50and leaves on the trees.
00:57:52Alex!
00:57:54Alex!
00:58:08Yeah.
00:58:10Of course.
00:58:12I guess a little
00:58:14spirituality can kill you.
00:58:16No.
00:58:18Idiots driving around at 6am can kill you.
00:58:24There we go.
00:58:28Hello?
00:58:30Service.
00:58:32Uh, hi Susan.
00:58:40Hilton?
00:58:44You...
00:58:46Oh.
00:58:48Wow.
00:58:50Thanks.
00:58:52No cancellations.
00:58:54Guess I'm taking the flight back to Cali.
00:58:56So the weather's good.
00:58:58Everything should be fine.
00:59:04Uh, what about Jeff?
00:59:06So, uh, I think I'm gonna tell
00:59:08Julia I'm in love with her.
00:59:10With as many people as we can, the whole office structure is gonna change.
00:59:12That is
00:59:14absolutely amazing.
00:59:16I mean, I know our feelings aren't mutual, but
00:59:18what's the worst that could happen?
00:59:20Well,
00:59:22you never know.
00:59:24Might be a little weird, but
00:59:26maybe it'll help the friendship.
00:59:30What about that girl?
00:59:32What girl?
00:59:34Your friend, Laura?
00:59:36I haven't talked to her
00:59:38in a very long time.
00:59:40I'll do my part
00:59:42if you do yours.
00:59:48It's not like you're not brave.
00:59:50Okay.
00:59:52Alright.
00:59:54Deal.
00:59:58That's amazing.
01:00:00The Hilton just up and bought the Mara in
01:00:02this morning so suddenly?
01:00:04Well, Bruce, I probably shouldn't be telling you this, but
01:00:06there was a fire here last night.
01:00:08A fire? Relax, no one was hurt. It was in the ballroom
01:00:10in the middle of the night, but it was a blow we didn't need
01:00:12right now. That's incredible.
01:00:14Well, the weird part, and this is really
01:00:16the last thing I can tell you, Bruce, then I gotta go make
01:00:18footballs, but the really weird part is how
01:00:20the fire started. They explained it to me
01:00:22and it was something I didn't understand about an explosion
01:00:24with metal ions, but the bottom line is
01:00:26it all started because of a leak of liquid
01:00:28ammonia, and no one has any clue where it came
01:00:30from.
01:00:36The ammonia's still missing. Where could it be?
01:00:38It's the ghost, man.
01:00:40I'm telling you, the ghost went and saved our jobs.
01:00:42For all I know,
01:00:44one of you could have taken the ammonia and started
01:00:46the fire yourself.
01:00:48What?
01:00:50You were both out of sight for quite some time.
01:00:52Oh, oh, yeah. Actually,
01:00:54you're right, Alex. I, um, I stole the
01:00:56ammonia, drove two hours all the
01:00:58way to the hotel, started the fire,
01:01:00drove two hours all the way back,
01:01:02and then those four hours
01:01:04since I was gone, nobody noticed?
01:01:06Well, whatever.
01:01:16Thank you, Ghost Mom.
01:01:18You're here.
01:01:24Well,
01:01:26this has been a great night of accomplishing
01:01:28nothing.
01:01:30I guess the last half hour worked out, though.
01:01:33You guys got your jobs back?
01:01:35And
01:01:37I almost died.
01:01:39Now I got a plane to catch.
01:01:41Bye, sis.
01:01:47She's such a good girl,
01:01:49guys, isn't she?
01:01:51Goodbye, Stephanie.
01:01:53It was nice meeting you.
01:01:55Bye.
01:01:57I'm gonna take a long nap when I get home,
01:01:59but I'll call you as soon as I regain consciousness, okay?
01:02:02Thank you, sweetie.
01:02:04Well, I guess you guys have to
01:02:06drive off towards the highway, don't you?
01:02:08Yep.
01:02:10Sorry I gave you guys so much grief tonight.
01:02:12Especially you, Jeff.
01:02:14You're a good person.
01:02:16And valiant.
01:02:18Blah, blah, blah. Basically, I saved your ass.
01:02:20Yeah, thank you.
01:02:22Ain't no thang
01:02:24but a chicken wang.
01:02:28Take good care of her.
01:02:32Bye.
01:02:36Steph, I almost forgot.
01:02:38You have to give a speech, sweetie.
01:02:40Just like Mom did.
01:02:42She wouldn't let any visitors leave before she gave a speech.
01:02:48All right, then.
01:02:50I guess I'll make one.
01:02:56My dear friends,
01:02:58over the last three years,
01:03:01I've lost everything.
01:03:04My friends are all gone.
01:03:08Now my mom's gone.
01:03:12But it's like I said before.
01:03:16Life happens.
01:03:20There's no way that it's supposed to be.
01:03:26I'm getting older now,
01:03:28and the best thing I could do
01:03:30is let other people live their lives.
01:03:34Find my own peace.
01:03:38Now this place,
01:03:40this place is the only link
01:03:42I have to my past.
01:03:46But it's also Memento in a different way.
01:03:48A museum of childhood.
01:03:52And childhood?
01:03:54Well,
01:03:56at least my childhood
01:03:58was built on a false idea
01:04:00of the way life was supposed to be like.
01:04:04So I'm happy to let it go.
01:04:08I don't know what it meant to you guys.
01:04:10Maybe it was some kind of
01:04:12temple of torture or something.
01:04:18But for one night,
01:04:20just one night,
01:04:24it was a home again.
01:04:26And I was happy
01:04:28to say goodbye to it.
01:04:32I guess there's no conclusion I could reach here.
01:04:36There are no real conclusions.
01:04:38No solid ones.
01:04:42Maybe tomorrow Julia will kiss me.
01:04:46Or she'll fire me.
01:04:48Or she'll never
01:04:50speak to me again.
01:04:52It's unavoidable.
01:05:04I feel a trance right now.
01:05:06Like the one I was
01:05:08describing earlier.
01:05:10The kind that Buddhists call Nirvana.
01:05:16I desire nothing.
01:05:18And I feel a tiny
01:05:20tinge of gratitude
01:05:22for every moment that I live.
01:05:28Amen?
01:05:30Amen.
01:05:48Amen.
01:06:18Your mom really lived like this?
01:06:22Mom would always say
01:06:24her money was in the toilet.
01:06:48Amen.
01:07:18Stephanie,
01:07:20hand me that book.
01:07:22Yes, Mom.
01:07:24Alexandra, are you listening?
01:07:26Yeah, trust me, Mom.
01:07:28I can always hear you.
01:07:30Oh, you're an incorrigible young lady.
01:07:32Now, where is that poem?
01:07:36What is mine all belongs
01:07:38to my children.
01:07:40What I take belongs to the
01:07:42forthcoming generation.
01:07:44A strange little band
01:07:46connecting pain with joy.
01:07:48How affirming it must
01:07:50feel to be death.
01:07:52To take the pieces of life
01:07:54and place them together however you fancy
01:07:56them to be construed.
01:07:58A space too
01:08:00vast to be even a puzzle.
01:08:02Pouring endlessly
01:08:04over the edge.
01:08:16piano plays softly
01:08:46piano plays softly
01:09:16piano plays softly
01:09:18piano plays softly
01:09:20piano plays softly
01:09:22piano plays softly
01:09:24piano plays softly
01:09:26piano plays softly
01:09:28piano plays softly
01:09:30piano plays softly
01:09:32piano plays softly
01:09:34piano plays softly
01:09:36piano plays softly
01:09:38piano plays softly
01:09:40piano plays softly
01:09:42piano plays softly
01:09:44piano plays softly
01:09:46piano plays softly
01:09:48piano plays softly
01:09:50piano plays softly
01:09:52piano plays softly
01:09:54piano plays softly
01:09:56piano plays softly
01:09:58piano plays softly
01:10:00piano plays softly
01:10:02piano plays softly
01:10:04piano plays softly
01:10:06piano plays softly
01:10:08piano plays softly
01:10:10piano plays softly
01:10:12piano plays softly
01:10:14piano plays softly