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00:00The Lucy Show Starring Lucille Ball
00:16Co-Starring Gail Gordon
00:46It's 10.30. Where have you been?
00:49Oh, everywhere. This certainly has been a busy morning.
00:52Don't give me that!
00:56Now's the moment you came to work!
00:58Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
01:01Where are you going?
01:17Mrs. Carmichael!
01:20If you are ready, I would like you to take some dictation.
01:24Yes, sir. I'm ready.
01:25I have to get a note out with these contracts that I have to get out this morning.
01:28Now then, this note goes to Mr. John Wayne.
01:31John Wayne!
01:37Mrs. Carmichael, Mr. Wayne is a client, and when I dictate correspondence to him,
01:43I wish you would refrain from going...
01:47I can't help it. He's my all-time favorite.
01:50Nevertheless, I wish you wouldn't fall apart every time I mention his name.
01:54I just wish he was here to pick up the pieces.
01:57I am not interested in whom you would like to be picked up by.
02:02Now, Mrs. Carmichael, let's get busy, please.
02:05When you sit down, you can't take dictation standing up, I understand.
02:08Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
02:09All right. Now then, are you ready?
02:10Yes, sir.
02:11All right.
02:12Dear Mr. Wayne.
02:14Dear Mr. Wayne.
02:17Enclosed herewith is the movie script you sent us,
02:20along with the final contract regarding our financing of your current production,
02:25the one about the war wagon.
02:28The war wagon?
02:29Yes.
02:30What's a war wagon?
02:31Well, it's a large armored wagon, and in this picture,
02:34it's transporting gold across dangerous, hostile territories.
02:38Oh, are there Indians in it?
02:40Yes.
02:41Who else is in the picture with it?
02:42I don't know.
02:43Let's get on with the dictation, please.
02:44I haven't finished the note.
02:45He always gets the girl, doesn't he?
02:47Yes.
02:48That's good.
02:49The girl's usually Maureen O'Hara, you notice?
02:52I'd like to be in it.
02:53Just take that.
02:54Yes, I have.
02:55Now, let me see.
02:56Yes.
02:57We are very pleased to participate in a venture
02:59that has already made your company so prosperous.
03:05Prosperous?
03:06Yes, prosperous.
03:07Couldn't we just say rich?
03:11Mrs. Carmichael, if you don't know how to spell prosperous,
03:14you can look it up in the dictionary.
03:16Well, you'd have to know how to spell it
03:18before you can look it up.
03:20Besides, I think Mr. Wayne would say rich.
03:23I don't think he'd say prosperous.
03:25Oh?
03:26Well, now, maybe Mr. Wayne would say rich.
03:29All right, put down rich, then sign it as yours,
03:32yours, etc., etc.
03:33Yes, sir.
03:34Mr. Mooney?
03:35Hmm?
03:36Instead of signing the letter, yours truly,
03:39I think Mr. Wayne would like it better
03:41if you said something like,
03:43Until our trails cross again,
03:46may your grazing be the greenest
03:49and your waterhole never run dry.
03:56I remain yours
03:57till the feathers of the red man turn gray.
04:01And sign it,
04:02as Bronco Bustin' Buckaroo Tex Mooney.
04:08And how would I send it?
04:09Pony Express?
04:12Well, I just thought that...
04:13Never mind, Mrs. Carmichael.
04:14Just sign it yours truly
04:16and sign Theodore J. Mooney.
04:18All right.
04:19Oh, here.
04:20These are the contracts that go with the note.
04:21I want you to take them to the studio immediately.
04:24Oh, yes, sir.
04:25Yes, sir, I'll see that Mr. Wayne gets them personally.
04:27Oh, no, you don't.
04:30Just take them to the entrance
04:31and leave them with the receptionist.
04:33But, Mr. Mooney, it wouldn't be any trouble at all.
04:35My girlfriend, Mary Jane, works at that studio
04:37and I could have lunch with her and...
04:38No, Mrs. Carmichael.
04:40Just leave them with the receptionist
04:42and don't bother Mr. Wayne.
04:57Oh, Mary Jane, I just saw some Indians.
05:00Oh, gee, look at all these wonderful costumes.
05:04Oh, it must be fun working in a studio
05:06with all kinds of glamorous stars around all the time.
05:09Yeah, it is fun.
05:11Hi, Bill.
05:12Hi, Ed.
05:13Hi, Mary Jane.
05:14Oh, hi, Ed.
05:15Ed, I'd like you to meet a friend of mine,
05:17Mr. Carmichael.
05:19This is Ed Nelson.
05:20Doesn't that hurt?
05:21Not me.
05:23But it sure bothers my wife when we're dancing.
05:30That's funny.
05:31Oh, that's funny.
05:33Hi, Mary Jane.
05:34Oh, hi.
05:35Oh, that was Burt Lancaster, wasn't it?
05:38Oh, no, Lucy, that's Mr. Simon.
05:40He's the director.
05:41Oh, sure looked like Burt Lancaster.
05:44Hi, Mary Jane.
05:45Hi.
05:47Oh, I recognize him.
05:49That's Richard Chamberlain.
05:51No, Lucy, that's the studio doctor.
05:55Oh, really?
05:59Oh, yeah.
06:11Who's that, the janitor?
06:14That was Milton Berle.
06:16Milton Berle?
06:18Oh, for heaven's sake, will I tell the girls I nearly saw Milton Berle?
06:23Was it really Milton Berle?
06:25Listen, honey, Lucy, Lucy.
06:27Carter, you're going to be late getting back to work.
06:29Oh, I don't care if I am late getting back to work.
06:31I'm still so mad at Mr. Mooney for insisting that I leave those contracts with the receptionist.
06:37You'd think a man would understand how much a woman would like to meet John Wayne personally.
06:41Yes, you certainly would.
06:43You know John Wayne?
06:45Not personally.
06:47Well, then I think I'll introduce you.
06:50Do you know him?
06:51No, but I will when I give him these contracts.
06:55Lucy, I thought you gave those to the receptionist.
06:58Not on your life.
06:59You think I was going to give up a chance like this?
07:01I'm going to give these to Mr. Wayne personally.
07:04Now, do you think he'll be in here for lunch?
07:06Well, he usually is, but sometimes he has lunch in his dressing room.
07:10Oh, really?
07:11Hi, Virginie.
07:12Oh, hi, Joy.
07:13Hey, Joy.
07:14Yeah?
07:15Do you know where Mr. Wayne is?
07:16No, I don't.
07:17Anything I can do?
07:18Well, my friend's looking for him.
07:19Oh?
07:20Yes, I work in the bank, and I have some very important contracts for Mr. Wayne.
07:23Oh, yes, we've been expecting those.
07:25Thank you so much.
07:29The receptionist.
07:31The receptionist?
07:32Oh, no.
07:54Hi, honey.
07:56Hello.
07:57I thought you didn't know him.
07:59I don't.
08:00Well, he said hello to you.
08:02Well, he says hello to everybody.
08:04He called you honey.
08:05He doesn't know my name.
08:09Gee, that's even better than a name.
08:11Oh, if he ever called me honey, wow.
08:14Very friendly.
08:15Is he?
08:16Oh, he's so nice.
08:17It's Mary Jane.
08:18Yes.
08:19I want it on the phone.
08:20Oh, okay.
08:21Here's your usual, Mr. Wayne.
08:22Thank you.
08:23Oh, bring me some ketchup.
08:25Right.
08:34There you are, sir.
08:35Thank you.
08:36Anything else I can get for you, sir?
08:38No, I'm fine.
08:39Howdy.
08:43Hi.
08:44I'm Lucy Carmichael.
08:46Oh, well, uh...
08:50I'm John Wayne.
08:52Oh, I know you are.
08:57Oh, it's nice meeting you, Mr. Wayne.
08:59I work at the bank and I brought some contracts over here for you today.
09:03Well, thank you.
09:04I thought about bringing them to you in person,
09:06but I realize that you're a very busy man and I didn't want to bother you.
09:10Oh, I'm never that busy.
09:11Yeah, well, whether you're busy or not,
09:13I just thought there's no reason for people to bother you
09:16and that's why I left the contracts outside with the receptionist.
09:20So I wouldn't bother you.
09:21Well, that's very considerate.
09:23It must be very bothersome.
09:25People bothering you all the time,
09:27like when they ask you for your autograph and everything.
09:30Well, I never considered that a bother.
09:32Oh, can I have your autograph?
09:35Oh, of course.
09:37Thank you.
09:39Uh, did you bring a piece of paper?
09:42No.
09:43Oh, I didn't want to bother you, but I...
09:46Oh, could you maybe put it on the back of this?
09:49Well, this is a page out of my script.
09:51Oh, I would love to have a page out of your script.
09:54Well, it's...
09:55I would love that.
09:58Would you care for something?
10:02Well, would you like something?
10:03Well, just a cup of coffee if it's no bother.
10:08Now then, just say to my dear friend Lucy Carmichael.
10:12To my dear friend Lucy...
10:16Lucy...
10:17Carmichael. C-A-R-M-I-C-H-A-E-L.
10:20I always spell it for people because sometimes they spell it E-A-L,
10:24and we have the Scotch clan spelling A-E-L.
10:27Maiden name used to be McGillicuddy.
10:29That's how Scotch I am.
10:32Um, let's see.
10:33Who I enjoyed having lunch with in person.
10:40I mean you in person, not me.
10:43Who I enjoyed having lunch with in person.
10:46Uh, together, today, alone.
10:51Together-today-alone.
10:53Together...
10:54Today...
10:55Alone.
10:56Alone.
10:57Yes, now if you just put the date down there in the corner.
10:59The date?
11:00Yeah, when I get back to the bank I'm going to have it notarized.
11:05Notarized?
11:06Yeah, well, they'll never believe this back home.
11:09Thank you so much.
11:10Oh, I'll cherish this.
11:12Thank you.
11:14You know, Mr. Wayne, I watch all of your old pictures on television.
11:18Do you?
11:19And even though I know you started out quite a long time ago,
11:22you still look so handsome and so young.
11:25Well, thank you.
11:26I'd like to have that notarized.
11:29Well, it's true.
11:30Most actors don't look anything like they do in their old pictures on television.
11:34You know what I think ages them?
11:36What?
11:37Staying up all night watching their old movies on television.
11:48Oh, you're funny.
11:49You know, I think I've seen every picture you ever made.
11:52Really?
11:53Some of them eight or ten times.
11:54Well, thank you, that's very nice.
11:56Oh, you know you were such a sensational army general
11:59in a picture called Cast a Giant Shadow.
12:02An army general.
12:03And what a dashing naval officer you were in In Harm's Way.
12:07Remember that?
12:08Yes.
12:09Yeah, did you enjoy making that?
12:10Very much.
12:11Did John Ford direct it?
12:12No, he didn't direct it.
12:14He directs most of your pictures, doesn't he?
12:16Yes, he does.
12:17And most of the time you have marine O'Hara in your pictures, don't you?
12:20That's right, yeah.
12:21She has beautiful red hair.
12:22Yeah.
12:26You know something?
12:27You were the greatest marine of all time in The Sands of Iwo Jima.
12:31Just the greatest.
12:32Well, thank you.
12:34Gee, you've been in every branch of the service.
12:36No wonder we won the war.
12:38Well, I never thought of it that way.
12:42Yeah, you've been in the service so long,
12:44I think Bob Hope should play a Christmas show just for you.
12:53Yeah, I'm in trouble with that hair.
12:54Let me help.
12:56I'm terribly sorry.
12:58Here, let me help you.
12:59No, don't help, please.
13:00Oh, I'm terribly sorry.
13:01Well, Mrs. Carmichael,
13:02I think that I'd better get back to the dressing room and study my lines.
13:07Oh, I'm terribly sorry, Mr. Wayne.
13:09Oh, here, you haven't even touched your skin yet.
13:11Well, I'll take it with me.
13:12Oh, okay.
13:13Oh, and Mr. Wayne, here.
13:15You might want that where it belongs.
13:17Thank you.
13:19Now, Lucy, they don't usually allow visitors on the steps, honey,
13:22but I'll talk to the assistant director.
13:24Oh, Brian.
13:26Oh, hello, Mary Jane.
13:27Hi.
13:28Listen, Brian, this is my friend, Lucy Carmichael.
13:31How do you do?
13:32Lucy Carmichael,
13:33I'm so glad you're here.
13:34Long time no see.
13:35Oh, thank you.
13:36You look good.
13:37You look good.
13:38Oh, thank you.
13:39Don't be to shy.
13:40I'm sorry.
13:41Oh, that's okay.
13:42You look good.
13:43Thank you.
13:44You look good.
13:45Oh, thank you.
13:46Lucy Carmichael, and she wants to see John Wayne shoot.
13:50Well, we don't usually allow visitors on the set.
13:53Well, I told her that.
13:54I'm a personal friend of Mr. Wayne's.
13:56As a matter of fact, I just had lunch with him.
13:59Oh, well, in that case, I guess it will be all right.
14:02Oh, good.
14:03Thank you.
14:04And I'll see you later.
14:05Right.
14:06Have fun.
14:07Okay, places, everyone.
14:08Getting ready to roll, huh?
14:11John, you ready?
14:12I was born ready.
14:15Lady.
14:16Uh, lady, would you mind stepping over here?
14:20You're right in front of my camera.
14:22Oh.
14:23Oh, is that my cat?
14:28Excuse me.
14:30All right, now.
14:31All right, let's get ready.
14:33Rolling.
14:34Warwick and company, scene 53, take one.
14:40Action.
14:44Woo-hoo!
14:45Woo-hoo!
14:46Woo-hoo!
14:47Woo-hoo!
14:48Woo-hoo!
14:49Woo-hoo!
14:50Woo-hoo!
15:00Ha ha ha ha.
15:04Taw, we'd better get out of here.
15:06This place is loaded with Paris's men.
15:08The way I look at it, this place is loaded with two of our men.
15:13There's ten of Pierce's men here and there's only two of us.
15:16Couldn't we pick a time when the odds are more even?
15:18Okay, let's wait around until six or more Pierce's men come in.
15:23Ha ha, you tell them, that's right.
15:25Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
15:28Ah!
15:30Who's that?
15:32Someone the bank sent over not to bother me.
15:35Is he a friend of yours?
15:36Seems that way.
15:37Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
15:39Well, I want absolute quiet on this set!
15:42Quiet!
15:42Absolute quiet!
15:45Ah!
15:46Oh my, that is a hot light!
15:49Oh my, that is a hot light!
15:51Oh ho, oh ho ho ho!
15:53Oh my, did you have a lot of those hot lights around you like that?
15:56Yes, yes lady.
15:58Oh, I didn't know about this.
15:59Yes, you see we have them all over the set.
16:00If you look right around, we have them all.
16:01You have to be careful where you stand, Madeline.
16:03Yes, I will, thank you.
16:04And I must ask you, please, don't react that way off camera.
16:07Oh, I've got something to tell you.
16:09That's the way they're going to react
16:11to Mr. Wayne all over the country in every theater that he plays in.
16:16Yes, I hope so.
16:17You better just get used to it.
16:18When they hear a line like that, they say, yeah, yeah, yeah.
16:21Yes, but that's in the theater, ma'am.
16:23Here on this set, we can't have that.
16:25You see, all these actors have to be able to concentrate when Mr. Wayne comes in.
16:28Let them get used to it, because if they're in a Wayne picture, they're in the best.
16:31And that's the way he's going to react.
16:34Yes, you're right.
16:35You're right, and that's what we want.
16:36You'll help us a great deal if you'll just take it easy, right?
16:39You just don't get too upset about it.
16:41I react the way I feel, but not in those hot lights.
16:44I don't react that way.
16:46John, Burt Lancaster's shooting on the next stage.
16:49Couldn't you send her over there?
16:51Why, Burt's never done anything to me.
16:53All right, if you want to let her stay around.
16:59All right, braces, everybody.
17:00We'll pick it up for Mr. Wayne's last line.
17:03Roll them.
17:04Scene 54, take one.
17:07Action!
17:11Okay, let's wait around until six more of Pierce's men show up.
17:29Howdy, Pierce.
17:37Howdy, Tom.
17:39It's been a long time.
17:42Yeah, it's been a long time.
17:49You mouth off like that again and you'll be a dead man.
17:53Cut, cut, cut.
17:57I didn't do anything, I didn't move.
18:00John, I think you skipped some dialogue.
18:02Oh, wait a minute, let's take a look.
18:05What's that, blood?
18:06No, ketchup.
18:09Well, no wonder I missed it, there's a page missing.
18:11Oh, a page missing.
18:12Oh, maybe that's my fault.
18:14Perhaps this is the page that you gave me under your skirt.
18:17Is that the one?
18:17That's the one.
18:18Well, let's see now, you're supposed to say,
18:21here you and your boy's been looking for,
18:22you said that, didn't you?
18:23And he says, that's right, Tom, and you say,
18:24well, now you can stop looking and start talking.
18:27And he says, reckon I ain't fixing to be seen talking to no jailbird.
18:32And then you say, you mouth off like that again
18:35and you'll be a dead man.
18:36Oh, I got it, I'll remember it now.
18:37Listen, Mr. Wayne, I think it would be better if you said,
18:42you mouth off like that again and you'll be pushing up daisies.
18:46Pushing up daisies?
18:47Now, please, miss, we've got to, wait a minute, Joe.
18:51I like pushing up daisies better.
18:53All right, pushing up daisies.
18:57You want to rehearse it once?
18:58Yeah, let's rehearse it.
18:58Oh, let's roll it, I know the dialogue.
19:00Okay, roll it, go ahead, roll it.
19:02He knows it, go on, roll it.
19:04John, you sure you don't want to clear the set?
19:06I hate to blow this scene.
19:07Well, I'd rather blow a scene than lose a fan.
19:10Ha ha, that's why he's been up there on cuffs all along.
19:15Thank you, ma'am.
19:16Thank you.
19:17Thank you.
19:18Thank you.
19:19Thank you.
19:20Thank you.
19:21Thank you.
19:22Thank you.
19:23Thank you.
19:24Thank you.
19:25Thank you.
19:26Thank you.
19:27Thank you.
19:28Thank you.
19:29Thank you.
19:30Thank you.
19:31Everybody knows that about this way.
19:32Yes, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
19:33Yeah, all right, play says roll them.
19:35Scene 55, take one.
19:37Action.
19:38Action.
19:39I hear you and the boys have been looking for me, Pierce.
19:47That's right, Tom.
19:49Well now you can stop looking and start talking.
19:54Well, I reckon I ain't fixing to beat scene talking to no jailbird.
20:09You mouth off like that again and you'll be pushing up David.
20:13What?
20:14What did you say?
20:15He forgot his line.
20:17Oh, Tom.
20:18Tom.
20:19Tom.
20:20He forgot his line.
20:21I don't blame you for forgetting.
20:22It's new.
20:23It's brand new.
20:24I just gave it to you.
20:25Then you say, you mouth off like that again, you'll be a dead man.
20:27That's what it was.
20:28You're supposed to say you'll be pushing up Daisy.
20:30I was just taking a long pause for effect.
20:34Oh, I thought he forgot his line.
20:37Oh.
20:38Okay, roll them.
20:39Go ahead.
20:41All right, roll them.
20:43Scene 56, take one.
20:45Take four.
20:47Action.
20:50You mouth off like that again and you'll be pushing up Daisy.
20:55If you're looking for trouble, Tom, I got plenty of boys that can give it to you.
21:02Well, I'll let you make the first move, but you better remember it may be your last.
21:09Oh, now Tom, me and the boys didn't mean nothing personal.
21:14Take him, boys.
21:15Yeah.
21:17Hey.
21:20Hey.
21:21Look out.
21:22I ain't looking.
21:23Look out.
21:26What are you trying to do, lady?
21:30I saw her give him a knife.
21:32I saw her give him a knife.
21:34He took a knife to Mr. Wayne.
21:36Well, I know that.
21:37We're just trying to see.
21:38Look at her standing there with that silly smirk on her face.
21:40Lady, we're trying to shoot a picture.
21:42Well, you go ahead and shoot a picture, but you make sure that he doesn't get hurt.
21:45Good heavens, I've never seen such brutality.
21:48They were rough.
21:49Lady, nobody here is going to hurt me.
21:53These are all my friends.
21:55Why, actually, this fellow and I started together 20 years ago.
21:59Yeah, way over 20.
22:01Never mind.
22:03We're friends, we are.
22:05Now, just try and control yourself.
22:07Hey, make up.
22:08They certainly didn't look very friendly to me.
22:10You know, I've seen, as I told you, Mr. Wayne, I've seen practically every picture you ever made.
22:14Here, let me take that.
22:15And I tell you what, I notice in every picture that they sort of gang up on you.
22:20You're always outnumbered.
22:22You always have a tough time, and I don't think it's right.
22:25I just don't think it's fair.
22:28Thank you.
22:29Thank you.
22:30We all thank you, lady, but we're trying to shoot a fight scene, not a beauty contest.
22:34Well, then, you just be very careful of him.
22:36Remember, he's a star.
22:40Yeah, fellas, be real careful of me.
22:43Remember, I'm a star.
22:47All right, star.
22:48Let's get back to work.
22:49Now, look, John, this time I want you to take one of these blood capsules, put it in your mouth,
22:53bite down on it during the fight so we get a good shot of the blood, huh?
22:56Okay.
22:57I just had no idea that they were so rough.
22:59He could really get hurt.
23:01I've seen Mr. Wayne get hurt plenty of times.
23:03You have?
23:04Sure.
23:05Sometimes those stuntmen are so anxious to make things look good that they get carried away.
23:09I'll say they do it.
23:10I think this is one of the times they got carried away.
23:12All right, folks, a very important scene.
23:14I want it to go well, so quiet!
23:16Quiet!
23:17Quiet!
23:20Okay, quiet.
23:22All right, we'll overlap the action where Chuck gets the knife from Helen, right?
23:26You ready?
23:27Make it good, gang.
23:28Roll them!
23:29Scene 57, take one.
23:31Take one.
23:34Action!
23:40Leave her!
23:41Leave her!
23:42Leave her!
23:43Leave her!
23:44Leave her!
23:55All right, I'm sure.
24:01Leave her!
24:12All right.
24:13All right, lady, that's all.
24:15Now you're going to have to leave.
24:17Oh, why should I leave?
24:18I'm Mr. Wayne's best fan.
24:21I didn't mean to hurt him.
24:22I didn't mean to do him any harm.
24:24Say something, Mr. Wayne.
24:26Goodbye.
24:29He called me honey.
24:31He called me honey.
24:58© BF-WATCH TV 2021