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00:00The Lucy Show Starring Lucille Ball
00:17Co-Starring Gail Gordon
00:47Lucy! Lucy!
00:49Yeah, I'm in here, Mary Jane.
00:51Oh, I got it!
00:52Oh, good. I'll be with you in a minute.
00:55I'm trying on my new dress.
00:56How does it look?
00:58You'll see.
01:08How do you like it?
01:11Oh, Lucy, it's scrumptious!
01:15You'll be the belle of the ball!
01:16Really? Every woman in that place will stare at you, Lucy.
01:20Never mind the women. How about the men?
01:24When the men see you in that dress, it'll take their breath away.
01:27Well, I hope not. If this gets me a man, I want one that's still breathing.
01:33And here's the stole I promised to lend you.
01:36Oh, it's lovely!
01:38It's genuine mink.
01:40This must have cost a fortune. How could you afford this?
01:43Oh, well, I didn't buy it alone.
01:45Six of us chipped in, and we each get to use it one day a week.
01:49Oh!
01:50What does it do on the seventh day rest?
01:53Yes, and boy, does it need it.
01:55Well, I'm certainly lucky that your day is Saturday.
01:58No, my day is Tuesday. I switched with Mildred.
02:01Oh, Mildred's day is Saturday.
02:03No, her day is Wednesday.
02:06But Mildred switched with Roselle, whose day is Thursday.
02:10And Roselle switched with Irving.
02:13Irving?
02:15Irving's a bachelor. He uses it for date bait.
02:19Oh, baby, if you could only talk.
02:23Oh, you're sure you're going to be able to get this for me for Saturday?
02:27Oh, sure, but I have to get it over to Ella for tomorrow.
02:30But Ella has a date with Irving, so that saves us a day.
02:34But don't worry, honey. You'll get it by Saturday night.
02:37Oh, well, okay. I really want to thank you, Mary Jane.
02:41And I guess I should also thank Mildred and Roselle and Ella and Irving.
02:47I feel like I just won an Academy Award.
02:51Well, if they give an award at that affair for the most beautiful girl, you'll win it.
02:56Oh, I don't know about that.
02:58But I do want to look nice because there's going to be a lot of very eligible bachelors there, you know.
03:03Oh, yeah, really? What's the banquet for, Lucy?
03:06Well, it's the 50th anniversary of the founding of the bank.
03:10And the guest of honor will be the president of the entire organization, Mr. Cornelius Hetherington, Jr.
03:16Oh, the name even sounds rich.
03:19Oh, he is. He's worth millions.
03:21He has two yachts. He has homes all over the world.
03:25New York, Paris, Hawaii.
03:27Well, is he married?
03:29No.
03:30That's what I call an eligible bachelor.
03:33Well, he's also 80 years old.
03:37Well, you can't have everything.
03:41Well, I could use another man in my life, but I'd prefer a little more life in my man.
03:47I'm going to get this off. I don't want to get it wrinkled.
03:50Yeah, well, I have to rush this over to Eda.
03:52Eda? Who's Eda?
03:54Oh, she's the sixth owner and she's got a heavy date tonight.
03:58You know something? I envy that mink.
04:01It's dead and it goes out more than I do.
04:07Now, you'd better remind the musicians that we expect them to be there at 7.30.
04:13The dinner starts promptly at 8.
04:15Yes, sir.
04:16Oh, be sure and check with the florist, too.
04:18Yes, sir.
04:19Now, I want you to follow through on every single detail.
04:22This is a very important affair. I don't want anything to go wrong.
04:25Now, don't you worry. Just leave everything to me.
04:30That's what worries me.
04:34Nothing will go wrong, Mr. Mooney.
04:37Well, I certainly hope not.
04:39You know, I'm so excited about this banquet.
04:42I spent two weeks' salary on a new gown.
04:45Mrs. Mooney spent three weeks' salary on a new gown.
04:49I didn't know she worked.
04:51My salary.
04:54Oh.
04:55She bought herself one of these new evening gowns with a mini skirt.
05:00Oh, how does she look?
05:02Grotesque.
05:07Well, Mr. Mooney, you can't blame her for wanting to wear the latest styles.
05:12True, true. But mini skirts are not for her.
05:14No.
05:15No, no. She's much too bowl-legged.
05:18If you ever straightened her legs out, she'd be seven feet tall.
05:25Well, is there anything else that you want me to take care of, sir?
05:28No, I think that covers everything.
05:30Oh, by the way, while you were out, the manager of the banquet hall called regarding the color scheme of the decoration.
05:36Oh, yes?
05:37And I told him to do everything in gold and green.
05:41Gold and green?
05:43Yes, sir.
05:44That sounds like a peculiar combination.
05:46But very appropriate.
05:47You see, I picked gold because it's the bank's golden anniversary.
05:51And I picked green because it's every banker's favorite color.
05:56That is entirely too obvious.
05:58Obvious?
05:59Yes, it's almost poor taste.
06:01Now, you get in touch with the banquet hall and have those colors changed to pink and purple.
06:10Pink and purple? Yuck!
06:13Pink and purple happen to be my old school colors.
06:17Now get in touch with them and have those colors changed, please.
06:20Oh, yes, sir.
06:21Mooney?
06:22Yes, sir.
06:23Mooney?
06:24Oh, yes, sir.
06:25Mooney, an emergency has come up and I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to give up your lunch hour.
06:29That's quite all right, sir. Anything to help out, sir?
06:31Well, I was scheduled to pick up Mr. Hetherington at the airport.
06:34However, a crisis has arisen and I have called a meeting in my office immediately with all the important vice presidents.
06:41I'll be right in, sir.
06:42Not you.
06:45You go to the airport.
06:47Oh, and Mooney, you better bring your secretary along, too.
06:50Mr. Hetherington might want to dictate some letters on his way from the airport.
06:53Yes, sir.
06:54Oh, and Mooney, there's one thing more.
06:55Yes, sir.
06:56I want you to decorate the banquet hall in Mr. Hetherington's favorite school colors, gold and green.
07:06Well, I have already ordered those colors, sir.
07:09Really? Well, that was a lucky guess.
07:12Oh, it wasn't a guess, sir.
07:14Yes, sir. When I'm given an assignment, I check things thoroughly.
07:18Nothing gets past me, sir.
07:20Well, good thinking, Mooney.
07:22Thank you, sir. Thank you.
07:41Say one word.
07:44Just one word, you're fired.
08:02Flight number 234 now arriving from Honolulu at day 10.
08:07That's it. That's Mr. Hetherington's flight to Honolulu.
08:09Oh, really? I'm so excited. Is my hair combed? Do I look all right?
08:12Oh, yes, you look fine.
08:13Is my lipstick on straight?
08:14Yes, you look perfect.
08:15I want to make a good impression on Mr. Hetherington.
08:17Look, he's just going to dictate to you, not propose.
08:20Well, I've never met a millionaire before. I just want to look my best.
08:23Well, millionaires, just like anybody else, you just treat them like normal human beings.
08:28Yeah, I know.
08:39That's it. That's it.
08:41Hello, hello, Mr. Hetherington. Mr. Hetherington, sir.
08:51Mr. Mooney, I know I'm president of the bank,
08:54but a slight bow from the waist would have been sufficient.
08:59Oh, well, I'm sorry, sir, but I tripped.
09:01I'm afraid it was all my fault.
09:03And who is this charming young lady?
09:08Oh, this is my secretary, Mrs. Carmichael.
09:11Oh, how do you do, sir?
09:14The pleasure is all mine.
09:17You have excellent taste in secretaries, Mooney.
09:21Thank you, sir.
09:23I trust you had a pleasant flight, sir?
09:26Oh, fine. I chartered the whole plane.
09:28The whole plane?
09:30Yep. That way I get the three stewardesses all for myself.
09:35Gee.
09:38It's the only way to fly.
09:47Mooney!
09:51Carmichael, what happened?
09:52Oh, it's nothing. I'll be all right.
09:54Oh, good. Where's Mr. Mooney?
09:55Oh, he stepped out for a moment. He ought to be... Oh, there he is.
09:58Oh, Mooney, did you pick up Mr. Hetherington at the airport?
10:01Oh, yes, sir.
10:02Did you get him back to his hotel?
10:03Yes, sir. And he's very happy with his accommodation, sir.
10:05Well, good. Let us hope that he will be as happy with the lady you have selected for him to escort to the banquet tonight.
10:13The lady?
10:15Yes.
10:16But you didn't say anything about a lady, sir.
10:20I didn't think it was necessary.
10:22You said that when you were given an assignment, you checked things thoroughly.
10:27And if you had, you would have known that Mr. Hetherington never attends a social function unless he escorts a lady.
10:34Well, sir, I didn't think that a man of his age would be interested in the opposite sex.
10:41Mooney, he is old, not dead.
10:47Now, I expect you to provide a lady for him.
10:49Well, that shouldn't be too difficult, sir.
10:51I'm quite sure one of our charming female employees would be happy to go with him.
10:56Wouldn't you, Mrs. Carmichael?
11:01Me?
11:02Yes, you. And give me one good reason why not.
11:06I don't like it.
11:08Oh, that's a good reason.
11:11Mrs. Carmichael is too young and attractive.
11:14That's true.
11:16You can't have the president of the bank seem like a playboy, eh?
11:20Oh, you're quite right, sir.
11:21We've got to have someone closer to his own age.
11:24Someone refined and wealthy and dignified and keeping with his position.
11:29Well, I'll do my best, sir. I promise you.
11:32I don't want promises. I want results.
11:35Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
11:39We'd better do something fast or we're in trouble.
11:42Oh, yes, we are.
11:43What do you mean, we?
11:45If anything happens to me, your job is none too secure.
11:51Now, do you know a refined, dignified, wealthy old lady?
11:56If I did, I'd have her adopt me.
11:59Mrs. Carmichael, I want help, not jokes.
12:02Well, I'd help you if I could.
12:04It's not my fault I'm too young.
12:06Yes, it is.
12:08You are late for everything. You were even born late.
12:13If I were an old lady, I'd be very honored to go with Mr. Hetherington.
12:19Uh-huh.
12:30Mr. Mooney, what are you thinking?
12:32If you're thinking what I think you're thinking, then I don't think I like what you're thinking.
12:37All we need is a little gray hair and a makeup job.
12:41Oh, Mr. Mooney!
12:43Now, you're not going to send me on a date with that Don Juan of the Stone Age?
12:48You will make a lovely little old lady.
12:51But I can't.
12:52You can and you will.
12:57I spent two whole weeks' salary on a beautiful new dress.
13:01And now I'm not going to get to wear it. That's not being fair.
13:05All right, all right. I'll be fair. I'll give you a choice.
13:09All right.
13:10Either you'll be an old lady or you'll be an unemployed lady.
13:19Well, Sheever, how do I look, eh?
13:24Splendid, child. Splendid.
13:27You know, you're in wonderful condition for a man of your age.
13:31What do you mean, a man my age? Why, I'm in better shape than you are.
13:35Look at you. You look like a man of your age.
13:38You look like a man of your age.
13:40You look like a man of your age.
13:42You look like a man of your age.
13:44You look like a man of your age.
13:46Why, I'm in better shape than you are.
13:48Look at you. You look like a paunchy penguin.
13:52Hey, where's Moony and my date?
13:54Oh, well, they'll be along later, sir.
13:56Tell me, what kind of a gal is she?
13:58Is she pretty? Does she have a good figure?
14:00Well, I don't know. I haven't met her.
14:02However, if Mr. Moony selected her, sir, you may rest assured
14:06that she is refined, dignified, honest, friendly, wholesome, and trustworthy.
14:14Get me a date or a boy scout.
14:17Oh, I'm sure you'll like the one that he has to...
14:20Oh, here they are. Come in, come in.
14:23Moony, you're late.
14:24Oh, well, sir, I...
14:25And you're alone.
14:27Oh, no, sir. No, no, no.
14:31Come on. Come on.
14:35She's a little shy, sir.
14:44Thank you.
14:52Mrs. Abigail Vandermeer, may I present Mr. Harrison Cheever.
14:57How do you do?
14:58Very pleased to meet you.
15:01And your escort for the evening, Mr. Cornelius Hetherington, Jr.
15:09Hello, Junior.
15:12The pleasure is all mine.
15:15You come in, please.
15:18Yes, sir.
15:20Please sit down.
15:27Sir, it's getting late.
15:29Don't you think we had best leave for the banquet?
15:32Yeah, let's go.
15:33No, no, no, Rush. No, Rush, the banquet can wait.
15:36First, I think we ought to get better acquainted.
15:39Oh, that's a very good idea.
15:41I said we, not you.
15:44Yes, we'll see you later, Moony.
15:46You too.
15:47Oh, but I...
15:48Go on. Get, get, get the both of you.
15:50Skedaddle.
15:53Hey, you're not there. Start without us.
16:03Now that we're alone, we can get on with it.
16:06Get on with what?
16:08What did you have in mind, Junior?
16:11Now we can get to know each other better.
16:14Oh, how much better?
16:17First, tell me, is your name Miss Vandermeer or Mrs.?
16:22Mrs.
16:23Oh.
16:26I'm a widow.
16:27Oh.
16:30Tell me, are you rich?
16:32Filthy.
16:33Are you rich?
16:34Filthy.
16:36You're the kind of a girl I've been waiting for all my life.
16:41That's a long time.
16:43Yes, sir. You know something else?
16:46I think you and I could make beautiful music together.
16:51Say, are you really 80 years old?
16:56Heck no. I'm 90.
16:59Well, don't you think you better cool down a little?
17:02Well, you're 90. If you cool down, the fire goes out.
17:11Let me tell you something.
17:12You better cool down, Junior, or I'll put your fire out for good.
17:17I'm just trying to make conversation.
17:19Well, make it from over there. I'm not hard of hearing.
17:23I know you're so beautiful when you get your dander up.
17:27You get my dander up any further, and I'll take away your rattle.
17:34Say, I got an idea.
17:36Oh, not another one.
17:39Say, how about a little drinky?
17:41All righty. How about a little warm milky?
17:46I was thinking of something stronger than that.
17:48How about some champagne, huh?
17:51That's too strong. The bubbles knock me down.
17:55Oh, the bubbles keep knocking me. Oh, say, that's a dilly.
18:06Now, you keep your distance, you understand?
18:08Come on, honey. Give me a little kiss.
18:10I'm going to give you nothing.
18:12Oh, yes, you are.
18:13Oh, no, I'm not.
18:15Oh, don't do it.
18:25You've got enough for me.
18:30Hey, that's not fair. You're younger than I am.
18:34You're right. Why don't you act your age?
18:37Heck, that's no fun.
18:39Yahoo! Here I go.
18:44You don't stop chasing me. I'm going to punish you.
18:47How?
18:48I'm going to let you catch me.
18:55Now I got you.
18:58You better pucker up, honey.
19:00Here I come.
19:07You're a frisky little devil.
19:12But I like him that way.
19:14Yahoo!
19:20I think you're trying to avoid me.
19:25Come and get me, Buster.
19:27I'm taking your vitamins.
19:55I still insist.
19:57That was no way to treat the president of a bank.
20:00Well, maybe not, but it was the only way to treat a wolf.
20:04How much of a wolf could he be? He's over 80.
20:07That's the worst kind. He's had all those years of experience.
20:11Oh, it couldn't have been that bad.
20:13You haven't spent an evening being Yahoo'd yet.
20:17Nevertheless, you had no right to let him go to that banquet alone.
20:21Fortunately, he hasn't complained.
20:23Well, I'm complaining.
20:25I spent two weeks' salary on a beautiful new dress, and I didn't even get to wear it.
20:29Well, that is...
20:31Mr. Mooney's office.
20:33Yes, Gladys?
20:35Mr. Hetherington's on his way in to see Mr. Mooney?
20:38Thank you, Gladys.
20:39What does he want? I hope he isn't mad.
20:41What does he want to see me for?
20:43I don't know what he wants to see you about.
20:45Oh, Mr. Hetherington's...
20:47Mr. Hetherington's...
20:51Mooney, why can't you learn to just bow from the waist?
20:57I'm terribly sorry. Won't you sit down?
20:59No, thanks. No, thanks. I just dropped in to say goodbye.
21:03Oh, you're leaving.
21:05Yes, but I'll be back in a couple of months, and I want you to get the same date for me.
21:11The same date?
21:13She was a real swinger!
21:18Well, I'll do my best, sir.
21:20Well, thanks again. Goodbye.
21:22Goodbye, sir. Goodbye.
21:28Mrs. Carmichael?
21:30Yes, sir?
21:31You make the swingerest little old lady I can hardly wait!
21:43© BF-WATCH TV 2021
22:13© BF-WATCH TV 2021