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00:00The Lee Show, starring Lucille Ball, co-starring Gale Gordon.
00:30The Lee Show, starring Gale Gordon, co-starring Gale Gordon, co-starring Gale Gordon, co-starring Gale Gordon, co-starring Gale Gordon, co-starring Gale Gordon, co-starring Gale Gordon, co-starring Gale Gordon, co-starring Gale Gordon, co-starring Gale Gordon, co-starring Gale Gordon, co-starring Gale Gordon, co-starring Gale Gordon, co-starring Gale Gordon, co-starring Gale Gordon, co-starring Gale Gordon, co-starring Gale Gordon, co-starring Gale Gordon, co-starring Gale Gordon, co-starring Gale Gordon, co-starring Gale Gordon, co-starring Gale Gordon, co-starring Gale Gordon, co-starring Gale Gordon, co-starring Gale Gordon, co-starring Gale Gordon, co-starring Gale Gordon, co-starring G
01:00You can relax, Lucy. It's only me.
01:07Oh, Mary Jane. I thought it was Mr. Mooney. I want him to think I was working.
01:12Yeah, well, you'll never fool him that way.
01:14Why not?
01:15You haven't got any paper in the typewriter.
01:17Hey, did you see this afternoon's paper?
01:20No, why?
01:21Stacy's department store is having a big sale.
01:24Really? Oh, wow. They're really having a sale.
01:28Everything's more than half off.
01:30Yeah, half off. That bikini on that model looks it.
01:35Oh, that is a beauty. I'd love to have that bikini.
01:38Oh, Lucy, would you wear a bikini like that on a public beach?
01:42No, but I'd hang it on my clothesline. That ought to get me some action.
01:48Gee, everything's on sale. Appliances, clothes, furniture.
01:52Uh-oh.
01:53What?
01:54The sale is for one day only. Tomorrow.
01:56So?
01:57So I have to work tomorrow.
01:59Well, so do I, but I'm going to tell my boss I've got a toothache.
02:03Why don't you tell Mr. Mooney you have to go to the dentist?
02:06No. I tried that a few times, and Mr. Mooney always insists on going to the dentist with me.
02:12Sure.
02:13Yeah. Yeah, so far I've had three perfectly good teeth pulled.
02:20If I do it anymore, I won't have a tooth in my head.
02:23Well, why don't you tell him you've got the month?
02:27Oh, no. I've told him I'm sick too often. He just never believed me.
02:32He'd believe you if he saw you getting sick.
02:34What do you mean?
02:35While you're working this afternoon, act sick. You know, moan, groan, cry a little.
02:42Well, that won't work. I do that every week when he gives me my salary.
02:47But, Lucy, if he sees you getting sick right here in this office, he'll insist that you go home.
02:53Well, now, Mr. Mooney, he's not easy to fool.
02:56He's a man, isn't he?
02:57Yeah.
02:58Well, then he's easy to fool.
03:00If you play it smart. You see, you don't say you're sick. You just act sick.
03:05And then when he suggests you go home, you refuse.
03:09Refuse?
03:10Then when you refuse to go home, he'll insist you go home.
03:14He'll insist?
03:15Yes. Believe me, when Mr. Mooney sees you suffering, he's got to sympathize with you.
03:19After all, he's human.
03:22Let's not make any snap judgments.
03:26Well, it's worth a try.
03:27All right. I'll give it a try. I really would love to go shopping.
03:31You know, I need a new refrigerator.
03:33Let's imagine one you got.
03:35Well, you know, it has a capacity of 14 cubic feet, right?
03:39Yeah.
03:40Yeah, well, I got one foot of food, 13 feet of frost.
03:45Everything frosts up.
03:46Everything?
03:47Yeah. Tonight for dinner, I'm having a spaghetti popsicle.
03:51Oh, good.
03:52Would you like to join me?
03:53See you later.
03:54Okay.
03:55Right early now.
03:56If I can fool Mr. Mooney.
03:57Don't worry. It'll work. Do what I said.
04:00All right.
04:06Mr. Wilson and Russ.
04:08Yes, sir. Wilson and Russ.
04:10Gentlemen, regarding your inquiry of the 15th, I think the loan can be...
04:18Can you say something, Mrs. Carmichael?
04:20No, sir.
04:21Oh.
04:22I think the loan can be arranged on the following terms.
04:32Mrs. Carmichael, are you all right?
04:35Oh, yes, sir. Yes, sir.
04:37What was that?
04:38Oh, following term.
04:39The principal will be paid over a period of 20 years.
04:50Are you sure you're all right?
04:52Oh, yes, yes. I feel fine.
04:56Well, perhaps you'd like to rest for a while.
04:58Oh, no. No, sir. There's work to be done.
05:01Oh, all right. Then let's get on with it.
05:04Oh, yes. Payments will be made semi-annually on the 1st of January and on the 1st of July this year.
05:17Mrs. Carmichael, are you in pain?
05:22Is it constant pain?
05:24No. Only when I breathe.
05:28Well, maybe you'd like to go home.
05:31Oh, no. No, I'd rather stay.
05:33Let's just keep on working.
05:35I feel much better when I'm working. It takes my mind off the pain.
05:38Oh. Now, are you quite sure you want to continue working?
05:41Oh, yes, sir. I'll be all right.
05:43Oh. All right. Where was I?
05:4515th January. Oh, yes.
05:47Should a payment be missed, there will be a forfeiture penalty.
05:54I can't hold the pencil.
05:55What's the matter with it? What's the matter with it?
05:56It's stuck. It's having a spasm.
05:58Mrs. Carmichael, you are ill.
06:02Oh.
06:03Let me feel your forehead.
06:05No fever. No.
06:07Let me see your tongue.
06:11Looks all right.
06:13Let me look at those eyes. Oh.
06:15I hope whatever it is isn't contagious.
06:21Well, let's continue with the dictation.
06:23I'll write with my left hand.
06:25Mrs. Carmichael, please.
06:27I want to go home.
06:28No, I want to stay. I want to stay.
06:30I want to work. I want to work.
06:33I want to work.
06:34Mrs. Carmichael, I think you ought to go home.
06:36No, I want to stay. I want to stay.
06:38Mrs. Carmichael, I insist that you go home.
06:41Oh, well, if you insist.
06:45Thank you very much.
06:46Don't mention it. Don't mention it.
06:49And if you don't feel well tomorrow, don't come back to work.
06:53No, I won't. I won't.
06:57I won't.
07:04Gather, gather, gather.
07:07Now, remember, this is our biggest sale,
07:10and this is the zero hour.
07:12I hope you're all prepared for what's coming.
07:15Remember, those are customers out there,
07:18and they outnumber us by more than 50 to 1.
07:22And I can assure you they will show us no mercy.
07:27Good luck, everybody. To your posts. To your posts.
07:32There he is. There he is.
07:39Lucy! Lucy!
07:42Lucy!
07:45Oh, I haven't been mauled and crushed like that
07:48since my first blind date in high school.
07:51Good heavens. Come on over here.
07:54Look, the Jiffy Automatic Stove.
07:56Set the timer and it turns itself on and off.
07:59How do you like that?
08:00You don't even have to be home to burn your dinner.
08:04Boy, cooking is so easy now.
08:06They've got instant cream, instant coffee,
08:08instant milk, instant this, instant that.
08:11Yeah, everything but instant money to pay for it.
08:16Oh, hey, I see the juicers I want over here.
08:18What?
08:19Here are his juicers.
08:25What's so funny?
08:27Come here, look. Look at the name and the slogan.
08:30Little Squeeze Orange Juicer.
08:32Men make your wife happy.
08:34Give her a little squeeze in the kitchen.
08:38You get your little squeeze. I'm going to look around.
08:41Okay.
08:42Oh, miss. Miss. Miss!
08:45Miss!
08:54Ahem.
09:19Ahem. Why did you break that dish?
09:22Well, I'm sorry, but it said try our unbreakable dishes.
09:25So I just picked them up and I just tapped...
09:31You did it again.
09:33Well, for heaven's sake, why does it say unbreakable when they're breakable?
09:37Those are unbreakable.
09:40These are imported Chinese.
09:44Unbreakable.
09:45You should know.
09:49Is there the unbreakable?
09:50Guaranteed.
09:53Ahem.
10:06Madam, there are 59 different departments in this store.
10:09Why did you have to come to this one?
10:11Never mind.
10:13Now, just what kind of dishes do you want?
10:16Well, I don't want any dishes.
10:19You don't want dishes?
10:21No, I came in here to buy a refrigerator.
10:23The refrigerators are over there.
10:26Oh, well, thank you.
10:33Don't touch that!
10:35Why not?
10:38Because you are liable to break it.
10:40If you're interested in this model, I will demonstrate it for you.
10:44Thank you.
10:45Now, this is the freezer unit with the automatic ice maker.
10:50Yes.
10:53The vegetable crisper, latest design.
10:56So is the meat freshener.
10:58Shelves slide in and out easily.
11:02It has a five-year guarantee.
11:04And it comes at the amazingly low sale price of only $299.99.
11:10$299.99?
11:13Yes.
11:14Is madam interested in making a purchase?
11:16Well, madam is, but madam's budget isn't.
11:20I'll have to think it over.
11:21May I have your card in case I decide on anything?
11:24Very well.
11:26Thank you.
11:31Hi.
11:32Oh, did you get your squeezer?
11:33Yeah.
11:34Did you find a refrigerator you like?
11:35Yeah, I found one I like.
11:37But it's $299.99.
11:40Oh, that's a lot of money, but isn't that beautiful?
11:44Yeah.
11:45And it's got all the newest gadgets.
11:47Yeah.
11:48Look.
11:54I knew it.
11:55I knew it.
11:56I knew it.
12:01Oh, I'm terribly sorry, Mr.
12:04Give me back my card.
12:08I don't want you to even know my name.
12:11I've got to know your name in case I decide to buy a refrigerator.
12:15I won't know whom to ask for it.
12:17Good, good, good.
12:19Please, madam, just don't buy a refrigerator.
12:21Well, I...
12:22Eat warm food.
12:24Go to another department.
12:26I don't...
12:27Please, go, go, go.
12:30How can you be so emotional?
12:32No wonder they're having a sale.
12:34Everything's broken.
12:40Oh, my God.
13:10Ah!
13:11Ah!
13:12Ah!
13:13Ah!
13:14Ah!
13:15Ah!
13:16Ah!
13:19You're the one.
13:20I didn't do anything.
13:21I didn't do anything.
13:23Yes, you did.
13:24What did I do?
13:25You just became our customer of the year.
13:27I did?
13:28You're a...
13:33You're a very lucky lady.
13:35Really?
13:36You're the 10 millionth customer to enter this department.
13:39And you've just received a great many valuable gifts.
13:42What did I get?
13:43What did I get?
13:44What did I get?
13:45Well, you got a set of golf clubs.
13:46Golf clubs?
13:47A set of luggage.
13:48Oh!
13:49A washing machine, a dryer, a dishwasher, a color television set.
13:53Oh, really?
13:54A color television set.
13:56Oh!
13:57And a beautiful refrigerator completely stocked with food.
14:00A refrigerator!
14:01That's what I came in here to buy.
14:03That's what you came in to buy, a refrigerator?
14:05And I want to...
14:06You're a very lucky lady.
14:07Oh, I certainly am.
14:09Nothing like this ever happened to me.
14:11Oh, and you're lucky too, Mary Jane.
14:13I am?
14:14I'm going to give the color TV set to you.
14:16You're going to give it to me?
14:18Yes, but we'll keep it in my apartment.
14:22And then you can come down and watch it anytime you want.
14:24And you can eat from my completely stocked refrigerator.
14:28Would you please give me your name and address?
14:30Yes, Lucille Carmichael.
14:31Oh, where do I live?
14:32Where do I live?
14:33Gower Street.
14:34Glen Hall Apartments.
14:35Yes, 780 North Gower Street, Hollywood.
14:38And you're a housewife.
14:39I am?
14:40Oh, yes.
14:41Yes, I am.
14:42Yes.
14:43I do take care of my apartment, but I work during the day at the Westland Bank.
14:48A very fine bank.
14:49Oh, the best bank in town, you may quote me.
14:53Mrs. Carmichael, our photographer is here.
14:55Your photographer?
14:56Would you mind having your picture taken while I congratulate you?
14:59Oh, I didn't expect to have my picture taken today.
15:02Oh, Lucy!
15:03Oh, my hair must be a mess.
15:06Good heavens, that bulb is so bright.
15:08All I can see is a big blue blob.
15:12Thank you and congratulations again.
15:14Well, thank you.
15:18Your prizes will be delivered in a few days.
15:20Oh, really?
15:21Oh, thank you very much.
15:22And remember to buy tomorrow's newspaper.
15:24Your picture will be in it and a story all about you.
15:27Oh, really?
15:28Oh, I want to tell you, it's the most exciting thing that's ever happened to me.
15:31Thank you.
15:32Thank you.
15:33You're very welcome.
15:34Oh, Lucy!
15:35Your picture's gonna be in the paper.
15:37Gee, I'll be famous.
15:38Everybody will see my picture.
15:40Mr. Mooney will be so proud.
15:42And when I...
15:46Mr. Mooney!
15:47If Mr. Mooney sees my picture in the paper, he'll know I wasn't sick.
15:50Or maybe you'll get lucky and he won't read the paper.
15:52No chance.
15:53He reads it every morning the minute he gets in the office.
15:55Well, you've got to stop him from reading that paper.
15:57I know what I'll do.
15:58I'll hide his glasses.
15:59Good idea.
16:00No, it isn't.
16:01He doesn't wear glasses.
16:03I know.
16:04I'll get to the office before he does and get rid of the paper.
16:07Would you want me to call you and wake you up?
16:09Don't worry about it.
16:10I'll be awake all night.
16:12If he sees that paper, he'll kill me.
16:14Lucy, the most he can do is fire you.
16:16I know, Mr. Mooney.
16:17He'll kill me and then fire me.
16:31♪
16:57Forgive me, George.
16:58It isn't exactly a lie.
17:01George!
17:32♪
17:45Mr. Mooney's office.
17:47Oh!
17:48Hi, Mary Jane.
17:50Yes, I just hit it.
17:51No, he's not here yet.
17:54Well, thanks.
17:55Yeah, I just saw it.
17:56Yeah, yeah, I thought it was a nice picture.
17:58What wrinkle?
17:59Nope.
18:00That wasn't a wrinkle.
18:01Your paper was creased.
18:04I'd better hang up.
18:05I hear him coming.
18:12Well.
18:13Oh, good morning, Mr. Mooney.
18:15Good morning, Mrs. Carmichael.
18:17You know, you didn't have to come to work if you're ill.
18:20Oh, I'm not sick anymore.
18:23Well, there must be something the matter with you.
18:25You're early.
18:27No, I'm fine.
18:28I just figured as long as I was off yesterday,
18:31I should come in early today and catch up on all my work.
18:34Well, that's very commendable.
18:36Very commendable.
18:37What was the matter with you?
18:40I don't know, but I'm all right now.
18:43Good.
18:44Good?
18:51Mrs. Carmichael?
18:52Yes, Mr. Mooney?
18:53Where's my newspaper?
18:55Where's my newspaper?
18:58Where's your newspaper?
19:00It isn't here.
19:01It isn't here?
19:03Where is it?
19:04Where is it?
19:08Was your mother frightened by a parrot?
19:14Now, stop repeating everything I say and help me find my newspaper.
19:17Well.
19:18Please.
19:19Why don't you forget about your newspaper and let's just get to work?
19:22No, no.
19:23I just don't feel right unless I read my morning newspaper.
19:27I want to know what's going on in the world.
19:29Well, I'll tell you.
19:30The temperature's up, the stock market is down,
19:32and little Orphan Annie's lost again.
19:36Mrs. Carmichael, will you stop being facetious and go out and buy me a newspaper?
19:40Oh, yes, sir.
19:49There are a lot of newspapers.
19:53Mr. Mooney, you know you read too much anyway.
19:55What?
19:56Yeah, you're always reading.
19:57You know, the bank reports, the stock market charts,
20:00and the fine print, and the mortgage papers.
20:02You're just straining your eyes.
20:04They're all bloodshot.
20:06My eyes are not bloodshot.
20:08How can you tell?
20:09You're seeing them from the inside.
20:13Mrs. Carmichael, I am no...
20:14I'm doing this for your own good, Mr. Mooney.
20:16Really, you do.
20:17You work too hard.
20:18Rest your eyes for a change.
20:20It'll do you good.
20:21Well, maybe you're right.
20:23You know, I have been getting headaches lately.
20:25I know, I know.
20:27You've been getting headaches ever since I came to work for you.
20:33Oh, true, Mrs. Carmichael.
20:36Oh, I didn't mean it that way.
20:38I don't think that they...
20:39Mrs. Carmichael, I appreciate your concern.
20:41All right, I'll skip the newspaper this morning.
20:44Good.
20:45Now, can we get to work?
20:47Yes, sir.
20:49Lucy?
20:50Oh, hello, Laurie.
20:51This picture of you is just wonderful.
20:54Goodbye, Laurie.
20:55What the hell is it you want?
20:57Yeah, goodbye, Laurie.
20:58Just a moment.
21:01What picture of you?
21:03Oh, it's nothing.
21:04Laurie was just going, weren't you, Laurie?
21:05She's going, but the paper says...
21:11Westland Bank employee wins fabulous prizes.
21:16Yeah, that's not my picture.
21:17Really, Mr. Mooney.
21:18See, I got red hair.
21:19Her hair is black.
21:23So, you were sick yesterday.
21:26Answer me!
21:27Were you sick?
21:29No, but I am now.
21:33And you played me for a sucker.
21:36No, I...
21:37And that act you put on, pretending to be sick.
21:41Oh, my hand!
21:42I got on the bed.
21:44Please, Mr. Mooney, I want to stay.
21:46I want to work.
21:47I want to work.
21:48And like a fool, I let you get away with it.
21:51I'm sorry, Mr. Mooney.
21:52Sorry isn't enough.
21:54To begin with, you will not be paid for yesterday.
21:56And the only reason I don't fire you is because I'm such a sweet guy.
22:10You're a sweet guy.
22:11Yes, yes.
22:12Now, you get to work.
22:13And I don't want to hear another word about your sneaky endeavors.
22:17Yes, sir.
22:18Mooney!
22:20Congratulations, old boy.
22:22You did it again.
22:24Oh, thank you, Mr. Cheever, sir.
22:27What did I do?
22:29Oh, playing it sly, huh?
22:31A little modest, huh?
22:34Westland Bank employee wins fabulous prizes.
22:38Oh, I tell you, this story about your secretary in the newspapers is the most wonderful publicity.
22:43And we appreciate it.
22:45That's good public relations.
22:47And it only happened because you were thoughtful enough to allow Mrs. Carmichael to take off, to go shopping.
23:02That's because he's such a sweet guy.
23:06He certainly is.
23:09Oh, shucks.
23:12But he is not the only one that can be sweet.
23:15Now, in order to show our appreciation, the bank is going to give you one full week's salary as a bonus.
23:21A full week's salary?
23:23That's right.
23:25And I'm sure you will want to show your appreciation by giving Mrs. Carmichael a week's salary out of that bonus.
23:35Of course, sir.
23:38Mooney, I am proud of you.
23:52Gee, a whole week's salary for me. Thank you, Mr. Mooney.
23:57A half week's salary.
23:59Mr. Cheever just said that you should give me a whole week's salary.
24:03I don't care what he said.
24:05One more word out of you and you won't get a red cent.
24:08And you're supposed to be such a sweet guy.
24:11I am a sweet guy!
24:13And don't you forget it!
24:35© BF-WATCH TV 2021