Episode 4 of Series 2 (titled Chase the Sun). In this episode, when Penelope gets a bad exam result she wishes for the school to be destroyed, not realizing her mother has gone there to attend a meeting. In the confusion, the "Master from the Past" appears, and Penelope realizes that they have a race on their hands if they are to reverse the wish without changing the past - and the future...
Stars Alexandra Milman, Anna Galvin, Glenn Meldrum, Sandy Winton, Mark Mitchell, Fletcher Humphrys, Monica Monaghan and Kirkland Fisher.
Stars Alexandra Milman, Anna Galvin, Glenn Meldrum, Sandy Winton, Mark Mitchell, Fletcher Humphrys, Monica Monaghan and Kirkland Fisher.
Category
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TVTranscript
00:00Logic happens to be my best subject, and I only got a C for my assignment.
00:07It's my teacher's fault. I studied really hard. I did all my homework.
00:12Well, some of it.
00:15All right, I was going to do it, but I had a lot on my mind.
00:19I'm very good at logic. It's just not right. It's not fair.
00:23That's why I hate school.
00:25Oh, that's logical.
00:27I wish for a meteor to hit the school and flatten it.
00:30Won't it kill the other kids too?
00:32Oh, really, Baz? As if I hadn't thought of that.
00:36That's why I wish for it to happen tonight at 9 o'clock.
00:40Your every wish is my command.
00:43One catastrophe coming up.
00:46What about the night classes?
00:48Oh, really, Baz? As if I hadn't thought of that.
00:51Oh, what's going on?
00:55We're being pulled backwards to the past.
00:58Oh, as if. You can't leave now.
01:01I'm in the middle of a play.
01:06Where's my opal?
01:14Oh, there you are. I've lost my opal, Bruce.
01:17What are you wearing?
01:25Who's he?
01:27I'm married gone a long way.
01:29I'm Penelope and...
01:31And that's my opal.
01:34But it certainly suits you.
01:36Hey, hey, hey.
01:38What's that?
01:47It's only a TV.
01:49What do you do with a TV?
01:52Look at it.
01:58Then what do you do?
02:01Hey! Tucker!
02:07You've killed my teddy bear.
02:10This funny-looking Tucker.
02:12I think it's stuffed.
02:14I don't eat stuffing. I don't like it.
02:16I don't know who you think you are, but can you give me back my opal?
02:20I need to make a wish. I have to stop some people from getting squished.
02:23Your opal? I get it.
02:25You're the master from the future.
02:27The future?
02:29Yeah, get out. I'm the master from the past.
02:43We're heading out to Murray gone a long way site.
02:46And this is where we find the famous bush Tucker?
02:49Yeah, bald Tucker out there.
02:51Excuse me for being so bald.
02:54Oh, you're not bald.
02:56I think you've got a lovely head of hair.
03:00Are you Mary?
03:02Mary? Oh, nah, nah. Name's Darlene.
03:14You know what I hate more than anything, Conrad?
03:16Answering your undies?
03:17No, we're undies.
03:18Oh, onion flavoured ice cream.
03:23What I hate more than anything is getting conned.
03:26Yeah, but having an answer in your undies is still pretty bad.
03:30Darlene conned me into giving her half the business.
03:34I've figured out a way of getting her back.
03:36How are you going to do that?
03:39Marry her, Conrad. Marry her.
03:48Off! Off!
03:50Bruce, do something about this.
03:52You can't, future master.
03:54See, he's not your genie. He's mine.
03:57I've never seen you before.
03:59He's the genie from the past, see.
04:01I woke up this morning a thousand years ago.
04:04And I thought, wouldn't it be great to see the future?
04:07So I made a wish and here we all are.
04:09So it's the genie from the past.
04:11And I'm going to make a wish.
04:13I'm going to make a wish.
04:15I'm going to make a wish.
04:17And here we all are, till sunset.
04:19What happens then?
04:20I made a return wish.
04:21At sunset, we automatically go back to where we came from.
04:24Mum's cooking rutile for dinner.
04:26Don't want to miss out on that.
04:28Of course not.
04:30Are you all right?
04:32Oh no, it's mummy.
04:36You better get dressed. You know, dressed like me.
04:40I wish we were dressed like her.
04:48What's going on here?
04:50Oh, nothing. We're just playing dress-ups.
04:53Oh, I'm sorry, mummy, this is...
04:55Murray gone long way, did I?
04:58Murray's a pen pal of mine.
05:01He's visiting from Australia.
05:03Oh, well, I hope you can stay for dinner.
05:05Long as before sunset.
05:07Oh, it's at six o'clock tonight, long before sunset.
05:10I have to be at Penelope's school later on.
05:12It's parents' evening. We're meeting at nine o'clock.
05:18Are you going to introduce us?
05:20What? What do you mean, you know mummy?
05:24We do?
05:28Oh, of course we do.
05:30We just had our heads stuck in the past there for a minute.
05:33Yes, a thousand years ago.
05:35So, um, what was your name again?
05:38Thanks for dropping in, mummy. Yes.
05:43Murray, I have a really big favour.
05:45You see, I made this wish for a catastrophe,
05:47and now mummy's going to be squished,
05:49so could I just borrow the opal just for a quick wish?
05:54That's a good one.
05:56How dumb do you think I am?
05:58Everybody's always after the opal.
06:00You're a master. Would you lend your opal to anyone?
06:04Yes, I do it all the time here in the future.
06:11That's a good one.
06:16One minute Bruce says he wants to marry me,
06:18the next he pretends he doesn't know me.
06:20Heartless. All men are heartless.
06:23He was wearing a dress, you see.
06:29Oh, come on! Get a move on, you kids!
06:32Go over there and sit on that log!
06:34This is Murray Donnell Longaway's site.
06:36Very ancient, very sacred.
06:38Created with some respect, all right.
06:40And the famous bush took her. She is here.
06:43Yeah, yeah, it's all over the place.
06:44You've just got to know where to find it, all right.
06:46And that's why I've got a leading bush tucker expert
06:49to prime you up for my post-grad master's class.
06:52And it's my pleasure to hand you over
06:54to a foremost bush tuckerologist,
06:57Conrad von Meister.
07:00Just fake it, all right. Just stall him.
07:02I need some time alone with Darlene, OK?
07:05Just go on and do it. You know what I mean?
07:07OK, you go on and do it.
07:10Come here, love. I want a piece.
07:12Well, the thing about bush tuckeries,
07:15you find it in the bush.
07:17What's going on?
07:18Darlene, Darlene, Darlene.
07:21You know, I've never told you this before,
07:24but you've got beautiful eyes.
07:27Two of them.
07:29Stop!
07:30Come here, Darlene. I haven't finished talking to you.
07:33Mummy, I really don't think you should go to the school tonight.
07:36Don't try and talk me out of it.
07:38I want to talk to the teachers about your maths.
07:41Dinner party.
07:42Ah, bush turkey.
07:49Ah, delicious.
07:51Thank you.
07:53It's my mother's recipe.
07:59Look, I'm sorry.
08:01I sense I said the wrong thing before.
08:04That's all right.
08:06Well, I'd really like to start from scratch, so, um...
08:09What was your name again?
08:11Bruce.
08:14We'll be back for dinner, Mummy.
08:17Bruce, don't talk to my mother.
08:19You don't know it yet, but the fact is, you've hurt her.
08:22Dad wouldn't hurt anyone.
08:24He said he loved her and then he kissed all her best friends
08:27and broke her heart, so you'd better not talk to her.
08:32That's not real either, Murray.
08:34Funny place, the future.
08:36Hey, future master, what do you do every day?
08:39Oh, lots of things.
08:41I read.
08:42Read? What's that?
08:45It's a book. You read it. It's very educational.
08:48Very weird, all these squiggly lines.
08:50I don't understand. Is that all you do every day?
08:53That? Oh, no, it's all go, go, go in the future.
08:56Shopping, horse riding, tennis, parties, shopping for parties.
09:01Oh, and sometimes I go to school.
09:04OK, let's do all that before sunset.
09:10Now, you cannot find bush tucker in a garage,
09:14video store or hardware joint.
09:17You've got to find it in the bush.
09:19You catch my drift, you know where I'm coming from?
09:22She is a vision.
09:24Mate, you have set her mouth on fire.
09:27She is a little pearler.
09:2920 mile of a gallon, air-conditioning.
09:31What more could you ask for?
09:33Nazi buzz? Aye.
09:43Very strange.
09:45Where are the gum trees?
09:47We don't have gum trees in Wiltshire.
09:50Where's that?
09:51Wiltshire in England.
09:53Here in England.
09:55Great Britain, United Kingdom.
09:57Never heard of it. Have you?
09:59No. Must be a little place, eh?
10:02Little? It's an empire.
10:04Well, I suppose to you it's on the other side of the globe, but...
10:07What globe?
10:09The world, the planet.
10:11The world is round, you know.
10:15You've got a great sense of humour, future master.
10:18Round.
10:20I'll tell you what, I'll show you some exciting English roses
10:23if you just let me...
10:26Is he always like that?
10:28Oh, yeah. Great, isn't he?
10:30Best master we ever had.
10:32Oh, well, I'm better.
10:34You know, quite often in the future
10:36you're always telling me how I'm the best master you've ever had.
10:39Yeah?
10:40Gee, that's something to look forward to, eh?
10:43What kind of duck this is?
10:45Oh, we call that a decoy.
10:47It's not real.
10:49Very strange, future.
10:52Of course you realise in the future I've freed you.
10:55You have?
10:57Oh, yes. I'm very generous.
10:59In the future, we're all like that. Generous, giving.
11:02What a great place, Dad.
11:04And if I could get the opal, I'd free you right now.
11:07That'd be great.
11:09Would be, but... we couldn't let it do that, so...
11:12But why haven't...
11:14Why haven't you, Bruce?
11:16I mean, it's your fondest wish to be free, isn't it?
11:19Yeah, it is, but...
11:21Well, if we're free now, it'll change the past.
11:24No. No, we've got to go back.
11:27Hey!
11:35Oh, it's not real either, Murray.
11:38This unreal thing is big in the future?
11:41We're running out of time.
11:43What else do you do around here, future master?
11:49And I hit the ball to you.
11:53And then what?
11:55Well, then you hit it back to me.
11:58And then what?
12:00Well, then I hit it back to you and we just keep going.
12:03Is that logical in the future?
12:05I don't know. I only got a C for logic.
12:09Who are these blokes?
12:13Oh, they're chess pieces.
12:15That's another game. You'll love this.
12:17What you have to do is try and steal your opponent's queen.
12:20My hat!
12:22Pass!
12:24Pass!
12:25Good game.
12:27Now, these red ones taste a bit like cherries.
12:30I would like to make a special mousse treat for you, darling.
12:35Thanks, Pierre.
12:36I have to leave you folks with a real bush tucker expert, Conrad.
12:39I have some urgent business to discuss with my executive co-director.
12:43Come on.
12:45Well, I told you where to get it,
12:48but did I tell you how bush tucker got its name?
12:51Eh?
12:52Darlene, there is a pounding in my chest.
12:56Indigestion?
12:57Nah.
12:59Darlene, I've got these for you.
13:02Don't say nothing.
13:04I wasn't going to.
13:06Oh, there's not a lot of choice around here.
13:08I looked everywhere.
13:10These are for you, my desert bloom.
13:12I found them growing wild.
13:14But they had not a patch on your beauty.
13:16Oh, thanks, Pierre.
13:18You're beautiful.
13:19Mango.
13:26You see, the correct diet is absolutely essential.
13:30After all, you are what you eat.
13:32The chaps in my support group say that makes me a baked-jam roly-poly.
13:37Are you sure you don't want anything to eat?
13:39Oh, thank you, we done ate.
13:41What?
13:42Much.
13:43Oh, are you on a cleansing diet?
13:47Yeah, sort of.
13:49Have you been on it for long?
13:51Thousands of years.
13:53Well, it's very cleansing.
13:55Well, bravo.
13:56Murray, it's nearly sundown.
13:58I need you to fix my wish.
13:59I don't want money to be squished.
14:01Against the rules.
14:02Past master can't muck around future master's wishes.
14:04But what am I going to do?
14:06I still haven't decided what I'm going to wear to parents' evening tonight.
14:11I suppose us masters should stick together.
14:13I wish I could help you.
14:15In the end, I found solution.
14:17I went on two diets at once.
14:19Well, I just wasn't getting enough food at once.
14:21I've got it.
14:24I just want to tell you that I'm really sorry about kissing all your friends and that.
14:28Would you like to see where you once lived?
14:30You know, see what it looks like today?
14:32That'd be great.
14:33Apparently I did do it, so, you know, sorry if I hurt you.
14:36Are you ready, Dad?
14:37Oh, this is very disturbing, Bruce.
14:40Wait!
14:45My goodness!
14:47Some diets are so light that people vanish right before your eyes.
14:54Smell the eucalyptus.
14:56What's that smell?
14:59Oh!
15:16Now, I'm very good at logic.
15:17And I know that when it's night in England, it's day in Australia.
15:20So, logically, we should have more time until the sun sets.
15:23Oh, uh, 67 minutes exactly.
15:27Then we go back to the past.
15:29So, we've got exactly 67 minutes to stop Mummy from being, well, you know, well, to stop her from being...
15:36Squashed?
15:37Please, Bruce!
15:38Sorry, sorry, you have to save her.
15:40I'm really looking forward to meeting her when we're back here in a thousand years.
15:44Hope she'll wait for me.
15:46Shh!
15:48There's something really rotten out there.
15:50Or something dead.
15:52That frog thinks he's going to stand in the way of true love.
15:56He's got another thing coming.
16:10Darlene!
16:12Darlene.
16:14I am deeply in love with you.
16:17There, I've said it.
16:19There, I've said it.
16:21And I'm asking you to be my wife.
16:25You haven't been eating those purple berries, have you?
16:27Why?
16:28They'll make you ill.
16:29Oh, no.
16:30Excusez-moi.
16:32Excuse me.
16:33We are having a very private, very personal moment.
16:36I want to know if Darlene is free tonight for a moonlight stroll.
16:41I don't think so, mate. I have just proposed a marriage.
16:45Darlene.
16:47Darlene.
16:49Can you eat these?
16:51The red ones are edible, but those green leaves aren't.
16:54All right, you got this? The reds are gay, the greens aren't.
16:58Run! Run! Run!
17:01If you let them dry for a week, then you can crush them up and use them as a seasoning over, say, smoked guana.
17:08I can cook that for the dinner.
17:10No, thank you. We've already eaten.
17:13The English eat at their rate of time.
17:18You'd be immutable, wouldn't you?
17:20Yes.
17:21Oh, Murray gone long way.
17:23You look just like your great-great-grandmother from a long time ago.
17:26Thank you.
17:27No, no, no. Hang on. Hang on.
17:30There's something going on between you two.
17:33First the frog, and now you've got this other bloke on the side.
17:36Oh, come on. I know his family.
17:38And she's like my great-great, you know, real great-granddaughter.
17:42Oh, believe this. I'm pouring out my heart to you, Darlene,
17:45and all the while you're flirting with a frog and carrying on with this other bloke.
17:49But I've never seen him before.
17:51There's obviously a lot of this kissing other people behind each other's backs happening in the future.
17:56Right. Okay.
17:58Right, pal. That's it. I'm calling you out.
18:02No one comes and chases my girl.
18:05Would you like me to hold the apple? He might break.
18:07Sure, I'd have a go.
18:08Would you?
18:09Oh, yes, of course.
18:11Come on, listen. I'm serious.
18:14No one steals my girl. You're history, pal.
18:20I thought it was the best thing to do.
18:23If this is how people behave around here, in my home, you'd all better leave right now.
18:32Because of true love, she never runs smooth.
18:37What does one wear to a parent's evening, Morsey?
18:39One doesn't want to appear too hard, or too soft, or too formal, or too casual.
18:46I'm exhausted just thinking about it.
18:49I think I might just have a lie down myself.
18:53I had the strangest dream. I dreamt we were in the future.
18:57Hey, where's my apple?
19:02You can't keep it, sister. Bad things will happen.
19:05I'm sorry. You seem like a nice chap and everything, but I've got to save Bummy.
19:09It's all my fault.
19:11It's all your fault.
19:13It's all your fault.
19:15It's all your fault.
19:17It's all your fault.
19:19It's all your fault.
19:21I've got to save Bummy. It's the only way.
19:23We'll have to go back without the apple.
19:28Perhaps I can come and visit you sometime.
19:30If you don't give me that apple, you'll have to visit anybody.
19:36Oh, no. It's sunset.
19:38If Murray goes back without the apple, he won't have it anymore.
19:41Really, Bruce, not only is that logical, it's obvious.
19:45Then you won't be able to pass it on to the next master.
19:48Obviously.
19:49And everything will be different from then on.
19:51Your parents might never meet.
19:53And you'll never be a master.
19:55Because I might never be born.
19:58Murray!
19:59It's too late.
20:01I'll never meet Diana again.
20:03Murray!
20:05Murray!
20:08We need a wish.
20:10We'll have to chase the sun.
20:11Of course. I wish to be where the sun hasn't set yet.
20:14West of here.
20:19West of here.
20:25Oh, Murray, I wish you'd come back.
20:28What the heck?
20:29Mum's been calling me to dinner for a thousand years.
20:32She's going to kill me. I've got to get home.
20:34If I give you this, does that mean my apple and my genius will come back when you've gone?
20:38I hope so, as long as they haven't changed it into the past already.
20:41Here. It's the only logical thing to do.
20:44I don't want to ruin the past as well as the future.
20:47I'll be seeing you in the past sometime.
20:49Bye! I'll see you in the past, Ninja Master. Bye!
21:05Oh, no. I've blown it.
21:07Mummy's going to get squished and I'm stuck in the middle of nowhere.
21:13I'd say she's mildly upset, wouldn't you, Baz?
21:17Are you the real thing?
21:19Us? What about you? You're not usually happy to see us.
21:23I am now. I wish to stop the meteor from hitting my school tonight.
21:28Done? You want it to burn down or something instead?
21:31No, no. I'm happy with things just the way they are.
21:41You are so beautiful.
21:44I wish you'd stop telling me that.
21:49Thank you, Darlene.
21:51What's up, love?
21:52Pierre gave me the flick.
21:54Yeah? Oh.
21:56He just wanted me for my bush tucker recipes.
21:58Oh.
21:59Men always use you up and spit you out.
22:02Oh, I know exactly what you mean.
22:05It's shocking, isn't it?
22:10You've got beautiful ears.
22:14Do one, Darlene. Plant one on me.
22:19Oh, well. From every heartbreak, something is gained.
22:23I now know how to use a frying pan.
22:30Oh, and everything seems normal.
22:33So Murray must be safely back in his own time with his Opal.
22:36Oh, that's logical.
22:38And we're all still here, so I didn't change the past after all.
22:42Seems logical, too.
22:44So I'm a pretty clever girl to have gotten us out of that mess, eh?
22:48Well, that'd be logical to you.
22:53I've learned so much about logic, time and space.
22:56Everything we do has an effect on everything else.
22:58That's why I have to be so very, very careful with my wishes.
23:01Luckily I got an A for logic, so it's all quite simple.
23:04I've virtually got a C.
23:08Which brings me to my next wish.
23:12What is it?