Episode 13, and the last episode of the 1st series from 1996. In this episode, Bruce finally gets the opal back to the cave, where he has the chance to become mortal again. But Penelope is desperate to prevent him from doing so, and someone else doesn't want him to leave either...
Stars Alexandra Milman, Anna Galvin, Rhys Muldoon, Glenn Meldrum, Monica Maughan, Mark Mitchell, Fletcher Humphrys, Ian McFadyen, Emily Milburn, Jacinta Stapleton and Kylie Belling.
Stars Alexandra Milman, Anna Galvin, Rhys Muldoon, Glenn Meldrum, Monica Maughan, Mark Mitchell, Fletcher Humphrys, Ian McFadyen, Emily Milburn, Jacinta Stapleton and Kylie Belling.
Category
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TVTranscript
00:00I've served a lot of masters throughout history, now I wanna go back home where I can be free.
00:13Then you come along with the opal in your hand, now your every wish is my command.
00:23Genie, genie from down under, make my wish come true.
00:32Genie, genie from down under, I wish you'd do what I want you to.
00:40Genie from down under.
00:53Well, I've lost all faith in human nature.
00:57Everyone's so inconsiderate and untrustworthy and selfish and greedy.
01:02Ever since Conrad stole my magic opal, my eyes have been opened to the darker side of human nature.
01:08Luckily for me, I don't think Conrad realizes yet that the opal is magic, so there's still a chance.
01:16You know what I think? I think this opal's magic.
01:20Magic? Oh, don't be ridiculous.
01:23And I reckon Baz and Bruce are genies.
01:26Genies? Oh, that's totally ridiculous.
01:29Gee, I wish I had a new pair of duke floats.
01:39Now they are ridiculous.
01:41I like them. Would you like a go?
01:45Selfish, insensitive person I've never met in my entire life.
01:48I think if we don't get out of here soon, we're going to be stuck here for a long time.
01:52We've got to get him up to that cave and into the opal.
01:55Right.
01:56First, we'll lock him into a false sense of security.
01:58Okay.
02:00You people know that Crockwell and I was a real tight for the outback.
02:03That's why we're booked out for the next six years.
02:06Oh, no, we were really looking forward to getting out there with you.
02:10I know. I can tell.
02:12I tell you what, come inside, I might just be able to squeeze you into the next trip.
02:16Crass.
02:17I'd have to have the cash up front, though.
02:20This is Trish.
02:21You'll be able to tell an experience to suit your personal needs.
02:26I'll just be out the back.
02:28Okay?
02:29Now, what can you tell us about the deluxe package?
02:33Oh, well, what that means is you get to sit behind the driver.
02:37Oh, look at us.
02:40A circle.
02:41A guitar.
02:42Two gecko blasters.
02:44Another TV.
02:45And another.
02:46Three TVs.
02:47Conrad!
02:48That's all. We've been through the shoplifting stage.
02:51I didn't nick any of it. It's all mine.
02:53Where did you get the opal from?
02:54What opal?
02:55The opal in your pocket.
02:56Oh, yeah, great news, Otto.
02:58I, uh, got the von Meister opal back.
03:03Let's have a look.
03:04I'll tell you one time I ain't seen one opal since I'm old.
03:09Since 1864.
03:12Our family has longed for this day.
03:14And now the back which was once ours has been restored to us.
03:17I was going to show you. I promise.
03:19We're going to tell him about the opal's magic.
03:21What?
03:22What's magic?
03:23It's a magic opal.
03:24You make a wish and a wish will make it come true.
03:27Magic.
03:28Oh, yeah, magic. Yeah, cute.
03:31I wish I had ten grand in my pocket right now.
03:34I can do that.
03:39We don't do showers.
03:40A crocodile always looks at a sweaty spot of dirty work.
03:43Shut up, shut up.
03:44You're all booked out. Your smile means a lot to us.
03:46What?
03:47Bye-bye. See you later.
03:48Is this a good for the shower?
03:49No, no. See you later.
03:50All the very best. Have a lovely life.
03:51Bye-bye now.
03:55Here, Grish.
03:56Who's that on her back?
03:57Take the pay off.
03:58It's real good.
04:01Grish, Grish, come on.
04:04You're taking a little bit of luck, aren't you?
04:06Come on now, Grish.
04:07Change the radio.
04:15Morning, little bird.
04:16Here you are.
04:18Here you are.
04:25You used to be so mean to me.
04:27I'd wish for a million pounds and I'd get a lorry load of sugar.
04:30You just don't have the knack, kid.
04:32People skills.
04:33So important in today's society.
04:35Politeness.
04:36The ability to listen.
04:37You want to see our special cake?
04:39I don't think that they want to see...
04:41I wish you'd shut up.
04:46It's where the opals first fell.
04:48The cake full of opals?
04:49Yeah.
04:54I wish we was there right now.
05:00And what's so special about this cake
05:02is you can wish yourself inside the opal.
05:04It's the only place in the world
05:06where you can actually get inside the opal.
05:09Hey, hey.
05:11I'm Jack of this.
05:13You know what I feel like?
05:14Some of Miss Mossett's shepherd pie.
05:17Yeah, that sounds...
05:20Wish we were there right now.
05:29Howdy diddy, Doc.
05:31Everything's looking beautiful.
05:34Thank you.
05:35I reckon we dig all this up
05:36and put in a full spa complex.
05:37Yeah.
05:38What be you talking about?
05:40Ah, there's been a change of ownership.
05:43You're putting us out of house and home
05:45and you want me to give you some of my shepherd's pie?
05:49Yeah, I wish you would.
05:55I'm sorry I won't be here to see the acopanthus flowering.
05:59Yeah.
06:00You won't get to see the Darling Lily's bloom either.
06:04That's my favourite flower.
06:07Me too.
06:08That's it.
06:09I'm going to send you all back to where you come from.
06:11It's been nice knowing you, Pete.
06:13I don't make blooms around here, do you?
06:17Darling.
06:18Yes?
06:19Lily.
06:30The bridge collapsed.
06:32How did it collapse?
06:33What sort of breaching finance?
06:35The bridges have collapsed, Your Ladyship.
06:37You've already taken out a loan.
06:39To pay off the loan, you took out to pay off the second mortgage.
06:45If Towns Hall were to be burned down accidentally,
06:50how much insurance?
06:52You're not insured, Your Ladyship.
06:54The wiring is faulty.
06:56Oh.
06:58Oh, dear.
07:02What am I going to do, Lawson?
07:04There's always Lord Accrington Smythe, the richest man in Wiltshire.
07:08Well, you could borrow from him.
07:13Lord Accrington Smythe, My Lady.
07:16Bubbles.
07:17Diana.
07:18So good to see you.
07:19The thrill is entirely mine, Diana.
07:21I don't know what to say. I'm absolutely speechless.
07:23Well, I...
07:24You see, for a long time, I've denied my love for you.
07:26Denied it to myself.
07:27But then I workshopped my love to my support group,
07:29gentlemen who wish to be gentlemen.
07:31And I came to realise that you are the only person
07:33who can give meaning to my life, my substance, my very core.
07:36I now understand why we didn't get married.
07:38I understand what went wrong.
07:40It was my money.
07:41My money got in the way.
07:43That's why I want to put a new proposition to you, Diana.
07:46Marry me, and I give you my solemn vow,
07:49I will not give you any of my money.
07:53Isn't it brilliant?
07:54Isn't it brilliant?
07:55I can see you're absolutely stunned.
08:00Actually, I'm worried about Penelope.
08:03I can't afford to send her to High Dean anymore.
08:05Oh, no.
08:06She's frightened she'll lose her close friends
08:08like Marcia and Sophie.
08:10She's been together with them since primary school.
08:13The fees are crippling.
08:15Diana, you don't have to worry about a thing.
08:19There's absolutely nothing to worry about.
08:21You see, if they're her real friends, they'll stick by her.
08:28We heard the dreadful news.
08:30What are you going to do?
08:32I suppose I'll go to a cheaper school.
08:35Oh, you're so brave.
08:38We'll always be your best friends.
08:41Thank you.
08:42People can be so beastly, can't they?
08:44So insincere.
08:46I know.
08:47It just makes me so angry.
08:52Look at the time we must dash.
08:56Oh, yes, I almost forgot.
08:59You know that party I'm having on Saturday?
09:02Well, it's really only for High Dean girls.
09:08I'm doing something on Saturday.
09:11Oh, well, that's all right, then.
09:14Always good to see you. Bye.
09:16Bye, Penelope.
09:22What do you think of this one, Uncle?
09:25Nah, I liked it better before.
09:28It's got class.
09:32I've been packing winners all day. I'm getting bored.
09:45G'day, Pen.
09:47G'day, Pen. How's it going?
09:49I thought we'd bring you over from England and rub your face in it a bit, huh?
09:52It's all been go, go, go since you left.
09:56I all wished out.
09:58How's your mum?
10:00It's lovely. Might have to sell town's hall.
10:02Hey, Otto. Want to buy a mansion?
10:04Nah, can't be bothered.
10:06All my wishes have come true and I'm bored.
10:08The extent of your wishes is but a reflection of your fertile imagination.
10:12Hey.
10:14Yeah, that's right, Brucie.
10:16Yeah, that's right, Brucie.
10:19Basically, all I need is a billion bucks and some women to love and adore me.
10:25Money's in the bank and the women are on their way.
10:29Come on, cough it up, Hank.
10:31Come on. There you go.
10:34I want to be rich and famous, you know, like a superstar.
10:39Your fame is spreading as we speak.
10:42Oh, beauty.
10:44Well, better send you back to England now, Pen.
10:47Ta-da. I wish that you would...
10:49Why don't you keep me here as a genie consultant?
10:52These chaps can be very tricky in there.
10:54Pen, which side do you want?
10:56We don't need any consultants.
10:58Exactly so. See you, Pen.
11:00What happens when you give the opal to a genie?
11:03Well, he'd run away with it, wouldn't he?
11:05What if England is an idiot?
11:07Would you run away with it?
11:10Give him the opal. See what happens.
11:13Are you telling all our secrets?
11:16Come here, Bert.
11:23Here you go, Bert.
11:37A genie can't hold his own opal.
11:39That's just one of the things I happen to know.
11:42Yoo-hoo, Otto.
11:47It is good to see you, Otto. I've really missed you.
11:50Me too.
11:56Oh, hi, Conrad. I've just been reading all about you.
11:59You're so famous now. Can I join you?
12:02We've organised a tour of the desert to look at the wildflowers
12:05and wondering if you'd like to guide us.
12:08You're so romantic.
12:10I'm not in the tour business anymore,
12:12but seeing as you act so nicely...
12:17Would I please you?
12:24Here I come, girls.
12:34I'm really famous.
12:36Of course. You're huge in England.
12:39Why don't you wish us home?
12:41You can take a look for yourself.
12:43It's only a wish away.
12:47My personal appearances.
12:49Mum, I've talked to the manager about it.
12:52I'll have your word for you, Mum.
12:54Him! Him! I told you it was him.
13:01Hey, Otto. I've been looking everywhere for you.
13:05What are you doing? Hello, Baz. Who is it?
13:10Funny. I just had this strange deja-vu feeling.
13:16Er, something to do with darling Millie, so...
13:26Your ladyship is selling everything.
13:30It is my spot.
13:36It's you, isn't it?
13:38Yeah.
13:39Can I have your autograph on my arm?
13:41Please, it's a promise.
13:43Just sign it with love for Mr Smelly.
13:45What do you mean, smelly?
13:47That's why you're so famous.
13:49You've got the smelliest feet ever.
13:51Thank you so much.
13:53You're welcome.
13:56I know you work with Conrad, but I asked Ben,
13:59and he said you can come and live with us.
14:02But you don't actually live anywhere.
14:04That's why there's plenty of room for you.
14:08Hey, don't worry. You've still got a roof over your head.
14:12I really like it here.
14:14It's a nice place, isn't it?
14:16Yeah, it's a nice place, isn't it?
14:18It's a nice place, isn't it?
14:20It's a nice place, isn't it?
14:22Don't worry. You've still got a roof over your head.
14:25I really like this open, uncluttered feeling.
14:28It's very Japanese.
14:29I've sold the building, too.
14:31Oh, that's a very open feeling.
14:34That's a very open plan.
14:40Conrad, lovely to see you again, mate.
14:43Mark Gallagher from the tribe.
14:45Listen, got a bit of a trip.
14:47Got to ask you about this love triangle going on.
14:49Oh, we're just friends, you know. We just met.
14:52Excuse me.
14:54Wait.
14:58Now, I don't want a biography.
15:00What do you mean, that's why it's on all the rolls?
15:02It's called what?
15:04The smell of fame! I'm going to sue them all!
15:06Ladies, what was the smell like the first time you got here?
15:09We're running a bit of an issue.
15:11Is there a bit of a feel about the smell coming up?
15:14Maybe it's the odour.
15:16I can feel a wish coming up.
15:20It's not the end of the world.
15:22I've still got Penelope, and I've got...
15:30Whatever happens, I want you to know
15:34I'll always be here for you.
15:42What are we waiting for?
15:44I don't know about this phonekeeper.
15:46What are we doing here?
15:48You said you wanted to come back to Australia.
15:50This is Australia.
15:52Yeah, but I didn't...
15:53This would be a good chance to get inside the Opal.
15:55Not many people have been inside there.
15:57You'd be really famous.
15:59This is a trick, isn't it?
16:03What do you reckon?
16:09I think you should give it a go.
16:12All right.
16:14I wish we could have a look inside the Opal.
16:19No!
16:32What's going on here?
16:34This is the only place in the world where we can hold the Opal.
16:38We love the trick of fakes. That's about security.
16:41You tricked me.
16:42You might be safe in Towers Hall, but maybe someone else will.
16:45We've only got one wish, and we are going to be free!
16:48What about Mummy in Towers Hall?
16:53I love you.
16:55You don't have to move out yet, young lady.
16:58A new world is needed, you will see.
17:00There's no place for me anymore.
17:03Penelope has run away.
17:07People keep disappearing.
17:09I've lost everything.
17:16Penelope.
17:26For more than 5,000 years I've been a slave.
17:29I can't stand the thought of my son having to carry that burden for another 5,000 years.
17:34Typical self-centred and greedy, like everyone, only thinking of himself.
17:38Yeah.
17:39Why don't you think about me for a change?
17:41One minute Otto and I got the Opal, the next minute we haven't.
17:44It's pretty traumatic, what if we can't cope?
17:46I think Otto's in trouble.
17:47Oh no, the trauma is too much.
17:49The bus has bogged to the desk.
17:50The bus?
17:51And water.
17:52I have Trish and the women.
17:53They're showering him in kisses.
17:55Oh, poor Otto.
17:56Poor women will like it.
17:58You see, I have been a slave to stupidity, vanity and greed all my life.
18:03This is the one chance we've got to be free, and we're going to take it.
18:10By the power invested in me as a genius.
18:12You're just going to leave everyone stranded, including poor mummy.
18:15Once we are free, we will do everything humanly possible to help your mother.
18:18Her mother?
18:19What about the pain of me being stuck in this lump of Aussie gemstone?
18:22What about Otto?
18:23What about the women?
18:24What about the trauma?
18:26I know you want to be free, but what if humanly possible isn't enough to save mummy?
18:29What then?
18:31I used to be married to someone named Diana.
18:33That was before the winter disaster.
18:36I used to live in a big mansion.
18:40Everything I touched disappeared in my life.
18:45Wife. Wife, I know what you mean.
18:48Stables.
18:50Housekeeper.
18:53Mummy never hurt anyone.
18:55Neither did Otto.
18:56Not that many people, but he loves his bus.
18:58Dad's never hurt anyone either.
19:04I'm doing this for you and me.
19:06See? Selfish and greedy, like everyone.
19:36I love you.
19:54We should do something.
19:56They're right, son.
20:06I'll make a deal.
20:07You want to save your mother, and you want to help Otto.
20:11I'll give you one wish each, but neither of you get to be my master.
20:16Who will be the master?
20:17Is it a deal or not?
20:25What are we doing here?
20:33It's alright.
20:34They're after me.
20:35Those women.
20:36They all adore me.
20:37I don't want to be adored anymore.
20:39They all love me.
20:40Come on, you useless tub of blood.
20:42Don't worry. Everything's back to normal.
20:44They all think you're a total scumbucket.
20:48Really?
20:50Really?
20:54You ugly patch of no open.
20:57Ugly?
20:58Really?
21:03Here you go, Ben.
21:04Ben!
21:28Another beer?
21:35I thought you'd run away.
21:55We want you to have this.
21:57It's very lucky.
21:59You've got the opal in your hand.
22:01Your every wish is our command.
22:03Not a bad idea.
22:05This is sweet.
22:22Mummy got Townsville back and paid off all the debts.
22:25Bubbles has joined the gentlemen who aren't sure about anything support group.
22:29Everything's back to normal, really.
22:32Oh, yeah.
22:33My stomach thinks my throat's been cut.
22:35We're living in England.
22:37We're living in Australia.
22:39No thanks, Moss.
22:40Cheers, Ben.
22:41Love your work.
22:42Love your work, too.
22:46Perhaps everyone isn't always selfish and greedy.
22:49Anyway, Mummy now has the opal.
22:52Anyway, Mummy now has the opal.
22:55But, luckily for me, I don't think she fully realises that it's magic.
23:00I think you're open.
23:02Do you mean?
23:05I wish you would.
23:07I wish you would.
23:21That could have been a coincidence.
23:22Yeah, but it's still magic.
23:37I'm the genie, you're the master.
23:40That's right.
23:41I'm the master, you're my genie.
23:44You belong to me.
23:45Yes!
23:46I've served a lot of masters throughout history.
23:50Now I want to go back home where I can be free.
23:55Then you come along with the opal in your hand.
23:59Now your every wish is my command.
24:03That's right.
24:04Genie, genie, from down under.
24:08Make my wish come true.
24:11Dream on.
24:13Genie, genie, from down under.
24:17I wish you'd do what I want you to.
24:20Oh, yeah.
24:26Genie from down under.
24:34Genie from down under.