• 5 months ago
the ghosts of motley hall - season 3 episode 1

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😹
Fun
Transcript
01:00her little ballad a little ballad entitled she was only a gravedigger's
01:18daughter but her coughing kept waking the dead my best friend with the phantom
01:23you know oh yes he was not always in the best of spirits he was ill last week he
01:28was but he's a shade better today I've played for now's it in my time but this
01:37is ridiculous
01:43hi old gory your chest any angel for ages well he appeared in the West Wing
01:58it's no good trying to hide from me I know you're in here and that was sir
02:12Humphrey's father sir Frederick Uproar a splendid horse oh yes he looks a fine
02:18man doesn't he look a fine man Marvin sure does
02:22the horse looks pretty good too and his father was sir Harry that's sir Harry
02:27where behind that pile of dead birds pheasants sure do you shoot only when
02:33I'm burglarized and that's sir George the general yes that's right it was his
02:40brother Albert who married my great-great-grandmother yeah and it
02:43cost 200 bucks to find that out but what happened to Clara Clara sir George's
02:49younger sister oh I've got no idea Alexandra didn't marry I do know that
02:55you see mr. Gudgeon there's always been a story in our family that Clara eloped
03:00isn't that romantic eloped with and this is what makes it so fascinating and
03:06partly the reason we're here an American so you see if I can find out who he was
03:12I might discover we have cousins back in the States but I didn't see that I have
03:16no relatives and Marvin was left outside a downtown drugstore darling in a large
03:23paper bag but mrs. Dewey darling I must go to Motley Hall you'll find nothing
03:29there I'm afraid nothing tangible maybe pardon me but what is that it's a
03:35planchette it goes on a Ouija board a what board a Ouija board we is French
03:41for yes and ja is German for yes we ja yes yes right so she bought a yes yes
03:48skateboard for a continental midget Marvin's never taken me seriously mr.
03:53Gudgeon he doesn't care about roots I guess it's the paper bag with this
03:58simple little gadget I'm going to find out who Clara married you don't mean I'm
04:03going to ask the ghosts at Motley Hall why don't we just disappear
04:15that's corporal gory to you when did you appear why should I tell you do the
04:20others know? no of course they know. avoiding me that's what they're doing. no they're not.
04:25oh the drooling difference. oh the neglect. oh the bitter coldness of their scorn. come back!
04:32it's not as if I hold regular. 600 years I've been here and everyone a sheer misery.
04:39but never once have I complained. have you ever heard me complain? you ever heard me
04:46brile out against the unkindness of fate that has condemned me to an eternity of despair?
04:50no. have you ever heard me cry out against the unfairness of my never-ending torment?
04:56I am finished. I was gonna find the others. oh no you weren't. I know what you were up to.
05:02you were going to get Rush off and join them weren't you and leave me here lost and alone.
05:06but if they're gone tell them you're here. they know I'm here.
05:09I might as well be alive. you won't get rid of me by hiding. I'll seek you out.
05:19boy. boy! don't desert a poor old speck in his hour of need.
05:28oh the bitter coldness of their scorn.
05:32it's all clear.
05:37I thought I'd never get rid of him. you haven't. he's still looking for us.
05:41we'll just have to keep ahead of him. he never stops moaning does he? no he doesn't.
05:45that was nothing. do you know I was daft enough once to ask him...
05:51he kept on about it for two and a half days.
05:54what? sir George. oh it's better he was warned.
05:57hey!
05:59open the door.
06:09motley hole.
06:11home of the uproars.
06:13oh isn't it divine Martha?
06:17if you say so baby.
06:19but it's so historic.
06:21imagine all those uproars living here for hundreds of years.
06:28you've no soul mom.
06:31oh I can feel their vibrations running through me.
06:34which one is that?
06:36sir George. oh the guy on the horse.
06:40no that was sir Frederick.
06:42they all look alike to me.
06:47what's that? a pendulum.
06:49it responds to my vibrations.
06:54how long does it take? it depends how strong they are.
06:57oh does it?
07:00see? I'm vibrating already.
07:03what do you know? a lot more than you do me old cook Sparrow.
07:06doesn't take much to please them.
07:08I wonder what they want here.
07:10I think they want to get in touch with us.
07:12isn't it thrilling?
07:14oh well now I think we could start Marvin.
07:16where would be the best place?
07:20round the other side Marvin.
07:30place your forefinger on the Ouija.
07:32on the what? Ouija!
07:34we all fall down.
07:36you will take it seriously won't you Marvin?
07:38I promise.
07:40now my name is Darlene Dewey and this is my husband Marvin Dewey.
07:46I do hope we're not disturbing you.
07:49oh listen to her. she wants to disturb us.
07:51is there anybody there?
07:53where? here.
07:55why doesn't she say here then?
07:57is there nobody there?
07:59here! here!
08:01you and a poor creature. push it to yes.
08:05it moved.
08:07you pushed it.
08:09Marvin it's working. it's working.
08:11are you an uproar?
08:14no.
08:16oh dear. I hope that wouldn't happen.
08:18what's wrong? we've picked up a wanderer.
08:20a what? another spirit. nothing to do with the uproars.
08:23oh sort of a cross line.
08:25I think I ought to do it.
08:27why? because I am an uproar.
08:29maybe you should ask for one of them by name.
08:31I want to speak to Sir George.
08:33oh he's in the bell tower.
08:35she asked for an uproar didn't she?
08:37but she don't want you. she wants Sir George.
08:39please may I speak to Sir George?
08:42let me do it.
08:44why shouldn't I do it?
08:46I wonder why not.
08:48well ask them.
08:50he's doing all of it.
08:52why can't we speak to Sir George?
08:54come on Fanny.
08:56because he ain't here madam.
08:58why can't we speak to Sir George?
09:00not here.
09:02where?
09:04uh
09:06N
09:08O
09:10E
09:12not
09:14H
09:16E
09:18R
09:20E
09:22here. not here.
09:24oh dear that means the spirits not in Motley Hall.
09:26it doesn't!
09:28it doesn't mean that.
09:30no
09:32you see Sir George just isn't around anymore.
09:34he is!
09:36make up your mind.
09:38never mind honey. you try.
09:40I ain't finished.
09:42I'm sure he'd be here.
09:44maybe you'll find him in another room.
09:46that's it.
09:48let's try in there.
09:50Max get Sir George.
09:52music
09:56Sir George?
09:58shh!
10:00what's wrong?
10:02old Gore is back.
10:04I know.
10:06well you might have warned me.
10:08I nearly walked smack into the dreary old devil.
10:10there's two people downstairs
10:12and they're trying to get in touch with you.
10:14people? in touch with me?
10:18oh well
10:20always pleased to help if I can.
10:24can they see us?
10:26not a glimmer. hear us?
10:28not a whisper.
10:30ain't gonna be easy is it?
10:32you can't hide from me forever you know.
10:34forward!
10:42where are these people?
10:44in the library.
10:46looking for you. with their Ouija boards.
10:48with their what?
10:50shh!
10:52one of those is there anybody there thing.
10:54I told you you weren't.
10:56weren't what?
10:58weren't there. aren't here.
11:00haven't they seen old Gore yet?
11:02maybe they won't be able to.
11:04Francis Francis you know as well as I do
11:06everyone sees old Gore.
11:08everyone!
11:10I don't know anything
11:12so appallingly so utterly
11:14visible.
11:16and it's not a pretty sight.
11:20I think I'll visit her.
11:22is there anybody there?
11:24coming.
11:26now let's see.
11:28move!
11:30I beg your pardon.
11:32move!
11:34he's somewhere around.
11:36I know he is.
11:38put that thing down.
11:40he's probably very timid you know.
11:42timid? a timid spook?
11:44oh yes.
11:46they can find us very frightening.
11:48I thought it was the other way around.
11:50frightening as a meringue.
11:52I'm not giving up.
11:54I'm going to find out who Clary eloped with
11:56Clara so that's it!
11:58Clara?
12:00my youngest sister.
12:02you remember ran off with that American fella.
12:04oh yeah.
12:06what was his name?
12:08what?
12:10he's gone blank.
12:12nice chap.
12:14I helped him do it you know.
12:16I made the rope ladder.
12:18ah I've got it.
12:20it began with a G.
12:22yes positive it did.
12:24reddish hair I remember.
12:26reddish hair G.
12:28ah I've got it.
12:30Jim.
12:32Jim who?
12:34no Jim.
12:36Bulstrode!
12:38Bulstrode!
12:40Sir George!
12:42you can't tell them.
12:50first time anyone's ever come to us for help.
12:52and we can't get through to them.
12:54can't tell them what they want to know.
12:56there's someone who could tell them for us.
12:58you mean Gudgeon?
13:00no not Gudgeon.
13:02who?
13:04what about old Gorey?
13:06ah!
13:22I'll find you.
13:24oh yes I'll find you.
13:26but we must find him.
13:28he's our only way of telling the Deweys
13:30about Jim Bulstrode.
13:32who?
13:34the man Clarey Lopewee.
13:36all right now pay attention.
13:38we will divide into three groups.
13:40the first group.
13:42the second group.
13:44the third group.
13:46the fourth group.
13:48the fifth group.
13:50now pay attention.
13:52we will divide into three strategic search parties.
13:54Paddy, White Lady
13:56will make a reconnaissance in the west wing.
13:58Matt and Barkin in the east.
14:00good luck.
14:04what about you?
14:06I shall continue
14:08in my attempts to get through.
14:10dismiss.
14:16I thought I heard him then.
14:18oh Gorey!
14:20he could not have gone back to
14:22wherever he came from.
14:24I never liked Clare anyway.
14:26stuck up little thing. face like a Pekingese.
14:28I rather liked her.
14:30she seemed such a gentle creature.
14:32that was her way.
14:34her way?
14:36flapping her eyelashes at anything in trousers
14:38and when rich handsome mr. Bulstrode
14:40came along
14:42the poor man doesn't stand a chance.
14:44oh I thought they were made for each other.
14:46look baby.
14:48can't we call it a day?
14:50I'm hungry.
14:52there's some macrobiotic sandwiches in my bag.
14:54yuck.
14:56why are you doing it there?
14:58this is where he
15:00passed over Marvin.
15:02who? sir George.
15:04on the stairs? yes.
15:06he tripped and fell and broke his neck.
15:08I'm vibrating again.
15:10you don't say.
15:12go get my notes Marvin. I left them in the library.
15:17no.
15:19no don't bother.
15:21I might stop vibrating.
15:23do you want the Ouija?
15:25no.
15:27no.
15:29I think I'll try the spirit-o-phone.
15:31the what phone?
15:33the spirit-o-phone.
15:35you know that ghost thing I bought in that
15:37psychic bookshop next to Warwick Castle.
15:43see?
15:46the original spirit-o-phone
15:48as used by Mrs. Emily Tiffin
15:50the famous clairvoyant.
15:52Tiffin?
15:5450 pounds?
15:56oh you can get a deluxe model with a mahogany stamp
15:58but I didn't think that was necessary.
16:00now it all fits together.
16:02the man said
16:04all the sensitives are buying them.
16:06oh it's broken.
16:08oh you can fix that for me
16:10sometime can't you Marvin?
16:12sure baby.
16:14now
16:16having assembled your spirit-o-phone
16:18by joining together
16:20parts A
16:22B and C
16:24as in the diagram
16:26you are now ready to make your first attempt
16:28at spiritual listening.
16:30baby don't interrupt.
16:32place A against ear and direct C
16:34toward the area of contact.
16:36avoid all electrical installation
16:38will not work in cars.
16:40baby.
16:42make your associations in the usual manner
16:44and speak gently
16:46to the spirit world.
16:48be patient.
16:50Rome wasn't built in a day.
16:52typical Tiffin.
16:54yes Marvin?
16:56the thread is busted on the screw fitting.
16:58well you'll just have to hold it together won't you?
17:00now this may take some time
17:02Marvin and you'll just have to stand
17:04very still.
17:06toward the area of contact.
17:08now hold that against the tube
17:10and I'll tell you where to point it.
17:12lower Marvin.
17:14point it lower.
17:16no not straight down.
17:18at Sir George.
17:20well where is he supposed to be?
17:22well where would you be if you fell downstairs and broke your neck?
17:24in the cemetery?
17:26in the cemetery.
17:28down there.
17:34now free the mind
17:36from all earthly associations Marvin.
17:38roger.
17:40any sign of him? none.
17:42glory honour. what are they up to now?
17:44trying to get through to me.
17:46I must say Darlene's doing her best.
17:48no look Fanny.
17:50no disappeared completely.
17:52I'm vibrating again. oh not again.
17:54I want to speak to Sir George Uproar.
17:56anyone from the library?
17:58quiet! Uproar calling.
18:00Uproar calling.
18:02I want to speak...
18:04down a bit Marvin.
18:06Sir George Uproar.
18:08damn it woman. you are speaking to him.
18:10I found him.
18:12my youngster.
18:14in there.
18:22Sir George.
18:24we found our glory. what? where?
18:26he's asleep in the library.
18:28are you there Sir George?
18:30Sir George are you there?
18:37a bit like a tidbee eye isn't it?
18:44do you want a hammer?
18:50oh glory.
18:52wake up.
18:54I ain't asleep.
18:56watch it you'll have your fingers.
18:58I think he's going to be difficult.
19:00Sir George.
19:04I'm out.
19:08let me rest in peace.
19:10which peace?
19:12that's just the sort of remark we don't require.
19:14now look here
19:16gory old fellow.
19:18you won't believe this.
19:20you're right I won't.
19:22but we've been looking for you.
19:24desperately.
19:26I'm sure you have.
19:28you don't care about me.
19:30nobody cares about me.
19:32nobody understands the loneliness.
19:34that break the eternal
19:36never-ending tribulations
19:38I'm forced to endure.
19:40oh.
19:42don't send your tale away.
19:44we've got to make him think we care about him.
19:48all the barbed shafts
19:50of your evil scorn.
19:52why aren't you wearing your head anymore?
19:54you promised us you'd try.
19:56I lost patience with it.
19:58every time I
20:00leant forward it fell off.
20:02and sometimes
20:04I'd put it on the wrong way and I wouldn't
20:06know whether I was coming or going.
20:08so in
20:10the end I went back to carrying it.
20:12old habits die
20:14hard you know.
20:16I well remember
20:18the day it happened.
20:20we know what happened you moth-eaten old two-piece.
20:22somebody chopped you.
20:24no!
20:26we do care what happens to you
20:28don't we?
20:30we'd really like to know wouldn't we?
20:32wouldn't we?
20:34yes!
20:36my life story?
20:38yes!
20:42well then
20:44it was in the year of our lord
20:46before you start there's just one thing
20:48we'd like you to do for us.
20:50what's that?
20:52yes.
20:54what is it? well now
20:56look here gory old fellow.
20:58okay Marvin
21:00if that's how you feel we'll go.
21:02my sensitivity's
21:04nothing to you is it?
21:06my historic links with the noble
21:08family who were once alive and well and
21:10living in Motley Hall don't mean a thing.
21:12and do you know why?
21:14do you know why Marvin?
21:16because you don't go back further than a
21:18paper bag.
21:20maybe we had a swell time
21:22with the Ouija and all.
21:24but I haven't got in touch.
21:26I haven't really communicated.
21:28I don't expect
21:30much. I don't want the moon.
21:32but I was hoping
21:34that some dear sweet gentle
21:36ghost would pluck up enough courage
21:38to make himself known to me.
21:40hearken to my
21:42message.
21:44well I won't bother then.
21:46no no please
21:48please
21:50go ahead.
21:52Clara
21:54Uproar ran off
21:56with a young American
21:58banker.
22:00his name was
22:02Jim Balthrode.
22:04Jim Balthrode.
22:06that's all.
22:08thanks.
22:10Jim Balthrode huh? well that's great.
22:12I'll tell Darlene.
22:14well uh
22:16I'm pleased to have met you.
22:18see you.
22:26magnificent
22:28that was gory old fellow.
22:30well done.
22:32beautifully delivered.
22:34he really got the message didn't he?
22:38well I expect you'll want to be off.
22:40I know I've certainly got things to do.
22:42good heavens is it really
22:4410 past 4 is it?
22:46well look do drop in any time
22:48gory old chap.
22:50oh I've just...
22:52yeah well
22:54I'll have to be off as well and uh
22:56keep your chin up.
22:58I've got a lesson gory.
23:00any time you're at a loose end.
23:04ahem
23:06it was in the year of our lord
23:081332
23:10in the ancient
23:12castle of William de Malficent
23:14that I first saw
23:16the light of day.
23:18my mother was but a simple serving wench.
23:20though it was said
23:22by some that a seneschal
23:24a surly ill-favored villain
23:26would oft times cast his eye upon her
23:28with a soft regard
23:30until she fearful of
23:32some intended mischief.
23:42my
23:44my
23:46my
23:48my
23:50my
23:52my
23:54my
23:56my
23:58my
24:00my
24:02my
24:04my
24:06my
24:08my
24:10my
24:12my
24:14my
24:16my
24:18my
24:20my
24:22my
24:24my
24:26my
24:28my
24:30my
24:32my
24:34my
24:36my