Dusty's Trail E19: Phony Express
22min | Comedy, Western | TV Series (1973– )
A stage and a wagon heading west get separated from the rest of the wagon train thanks to Dusty. Now they must make their way to California.
Creators: Elroy Schwartz, Sherwood Schwartz
Stars: Bob Denver, Forrest Tucker, Ivor Francis
22min | Comedy, Western | TV Series (1973– )
A stage and a wagon heading west get separated from the rest of the wagon train thanks to Dusty. Now they must make their way to California.
Creators: Elroy Schwartz, Sherwood Schwartz
Stars: Bob Denver, Forrest Tucker, Ivor Francis
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00Let's follow the path of Dusty's Trail, oh, Dusty's Trail, Dusty's Trail.
00:07A stage and a wagon are heading west, part of a wagon train lost from the rest.
00:16Dusty's the reason for their plight, thanks to Dusty, nothing's right.
00:23Only the wagon master's hand keeps them rolling to the promised land.
00:31Oh, the going gets mighty rough, but they don't seem to mind.
00:37It's California, eh, that's the place they must find.
00:43Deserts and rocks are in their way, but they won't stop, come what may.
00:50Mountains and hills that they must scale,
00:53but they know they'll make it, cause they just can't fail on Dusty's Trail.
01:15That's enough scouting for today, huh, Freckles?
01:18Any more riding, I'm gonna have to walk.
01:22Hey!
01:28Howdy, mister.
01:29Howdy.
01:30You wouldn't be heading west now, would you?
01:31Yeah, California.
01:32Good. I'm a United States Army courier and I must get this pouch to Fort Hale.
01:36That's nice, good luck.
01:37Hold on, I want you to get this pouch to Fort Hale.
01:40I've been hurt.
01:40Let's keep it here.
01:43Well, what did you do that for? You locked it on me.
01:46Safekeeping.
01:47I'll meet you in Fort Hale with the key.
01:48Raise your right hand.
01:51You promise to protect the Constitution of the United States against all enemies
01:54and to do your duty no matter what may be asked of you?
01:56I promise.
01:57Good.
01:57You've just been sworn in a soldier in the U.S. Army.
01:59Me, a soldier?
02:00On temporary duty.
02:02Everybody looks bad.
02:03How'd you hurt your arm like that?
02:04A gunman named Bates.
02:05He's been chasing me for that pouch.
02:07He's been chasing you for this pouch?
02:09I'm too weak to make it to Fort Hale right now, but I can throw him off your trail.
02:13Just make sure you guard that pouch with your life.
02:16Good luck.
02:23My life?
02:42I don't believe we can, Mr. Callahan.
02:45See, it's a high-tempered steel, kind of special alloy the Army uses.
02:50We can try.
02:51We got to do better than try.
02:52We got to get that thing off of Dusty's arm.
02:54Otherwise, he's going to be a sitting duck for one of Bates' bullets.
02:57I don't want to be no sitting duck.
02:58I'm too chicken.
03:00Yeah, but what about getting the pouch to Fort Hale?
03:02We'll get it there, all right, as soon as we get it off of Dusty's arm.
03:05Then I'll find some safe place to put it.
03:07I got some tools I think will do the job.
03:09But you know, there may be a better way.
03:11Like what?
03:12About a half mile back, we passed a telegraph pole.
03:15Now, I could tap into the line, ask Fort Hale what to do.
03:18Good thinking, Andy.
03:19Go get to it.
03:20Yeah, and tell him it's in a longer chain.
03:21I want to be as far away from this pouch as possible when Bates starts shooting bullets.
03:24I'll do my best.
03:30Tea, dear?
03:31Oh, no, no, no, thank you, dear.
03:32I can't think of food.
03:34That pouch on Dusty's arm is driving me mad.
03:37It must hold a fortune.
03:39Oh, Carsey, dear, do forget it and have some tea.
03:42Daphne, do you realize that what's in that pouch could make us richer?
03:46Carsey, we're already richer.
03:49We have more money than we could spend in a hundred years.
03:52I know that, but what then?
03:55Let's think of our future.
03:57No, I simply must have what's in that pouch.
04:05Ah, Dusty, dear boy, there you are.
04:08Hi, Mr. Brookhaven.
04:09What's the matter with your leg?
04:10Oh, it's an old wound I suffered in the War of 1812.
04:15That's funny.
04:15I never saw you limp before.
04:17Well, it comes on now and again, just when it's damp.
04:20Damp?
04:21It hasn't rained for days.
04:22Oh, well, I stepped in a puddle.
04:25Puddle.
04:25They can be very damp.
04:28At any rate, as a retired lieutenant colonel and your ranking superior officer,
04:34I have decided on a diversionary action to protect our country's property, namely that pouch.
04:41I'm sorry, Mr. Brookhaven.
04:45Colonel Brookhaven, private.
04:47I can't let you have this pouch.
04:48I promised to defend it with my life.
04:50Very well.
04:50You defend the pouch.
04:51I'll defend the content.
04:54How did you do that?
04:55Do you realize that you've just disobeyed the orders of a superior officer?
04:59How would you like to face a firing squad?
05:02I'd love it.
05:03I need all the protection I can get.
05:06Rat.
05:07Hardly worth developing a good limp over.
05:17Come on, Dusty.
05:18We got to cut it off.
05:19My arm?
05:20The chain.
05:22That axe makes me feel like a turkey before Thanksgiving.
05:25Look, we got to get that thing off of your arm before Bates gets back.
05:28Now, just hold steady while I give that chain a whack.
05:37Did you break it?
05:43Yeah, that's a good axe, too.
05:50Lulu, that's the wrong lock.
05:51I told you, whatever's in the pouch is a secret.
05:54Dusty, my feminine curiosity is killing me.
05:56Yeah, well, your feminine curiosity might get me killed, too.
06:01Please, I got to see what's in that pouch.
06:07What's in that pouch?
06:11Okay, take a look.
06:13Ooh, men.
06:26Hi, Betsy.
06:26Hi, Dusty.
06:27Listen, you got to do something.
06:28I need a lot of help.
06:29I got to get this thing off my arm.
06:31In a minute.
06:31Right now, I'm making soap.
06:33I know.
06:34But I figure if I use some of that stuff and put it on my wrist,
06:36I can slip it right over my hand.
06:38Oh, well, let's see.
06:41Oh, it's awfully tight.
06:42Well, it's worth a try.
06:43I'm getting nowhere with the screwdriver.
06:45Well, put it in the bucket.
06:52Ugh, that's gooey.
06:54Oh, of course it is.
06:55It's lard.
06:56That's the way you make soap.
06:58Oh, good.
06:58Then I'll be clean, too.
07:01Rub it around real good.
07:02Here.
07:05Okay.
07:07Let's try it.
07:09You know, Betsy, if this works,
07:11I'll be grateful to you for the rest of my life.
07:13I'm coming to think of it,
07:14it might be the rest of my life right now.
07:20Pull.
07:22Real hard now.
07:23Pull, and it'll come off.
07:26Oh, Dusty.
07:31I'm sorry, it slipped.
07:35I'm sorry, Dusty.
07:37But even with all that goo,
07:39the handcuffs are still too tight.
07:41It's okay, Betsy.
07:44I'll just have to try again with the screwdriver.
08:05Now, just relax, Dusty.
08:06I'm gonna see if I can shoot that chain in two.
08:08Couldn't I stand behind you?
08:10Not gonna hurt you.
08:35Did you break it?
08:39Oh, that is some kind of hard piece of steel.
08:46Looks like a banana without the banana.
08:50Mr. Callahan, I just got a word from Port Hale off the telegraph wire.
08:54Yeah? What's it say? Read it.
08:56Urgent that you hold pouch and keep sealed until relieved.
08:59Oh, boy, I'll be so relieved when I get relieved.
09:01And the last line says, guard it with your life.
09:04Well, I'll tell you one thing.
09:06If Dusty's got to guard that pouch with his life,
09:08the least we can do is guard his with ours.
09:11I'll tell you what, Andy.
09:12We'll stand watch tonight while he sleeps.
09:15You take the first one, I'll take the midnight to four,
09:17and then I'll tell Mr. Brookhaven to take that short one from four to breakfast.
10:04All right, you, give me the pouch.
10:34Everybody up!
10:56Don't bother reaching for your guns.
10:59I haven't.
11:00Get over there.
11:05Move!
11:09Take that chain off and throw it over here.
11:15What happened to the courier?
11:16Let's just say he didn't give it to me.
11:24Put your hand down.
11:25I'm sorry, I just got used to the weight.
11:28What's going on here?
11:30Who are you?
11:30Never mind.
11:31Get over here with the others.
11:33That's Bates, the killer we've been protecting that pouch from.
11:35One of you cut it open during the night and stole what was inside.
11:41Cut the pouch?
11:42Who would do such a thing?
11:44And how?
11:44I was on guard duty.
11:46So was I.
11:47I was wide awake until I fell asleep.
11:50Cut the excuses.
11:53Now, somebody stole what was inside that pouch and I want it.
11:59Let's start with you, sleeping beauty.
12:03Look at me.
12:04I never stole a thing in my life.
12:06Carter, don't you remember?
12:08You stole a railroad once.
12:11I think I'm precious.
12:12In business, that is called a merger.
12:14Talk.
12:15I shoot.
12:16Sir, sir, sir, sir, sir.
12:18I am a poor, simple businessman.
12:21Oh, not poor, Carter.
12:24We have banks and trusts and corporations.
12:26Darling, the killer wants the pouch, not a financial report.
12:31How do you know it was one of us that stole it?
12:33You're the only people around here.
12:35That makes sense.
12:37I've had enough of this.
12:39I'm getting very angry.
12:42Little man, you should have guarded that pouch with your life.
12:46I knew he'd say that.
12:47Maybe you're lying.
12:49Maybe you opened the pouch.
12:51Me?
12:52You know what happens to people who lie to me?
12:54You've got three seconds to give me what was in that pouch.
12:59One.
13:03Two.
13:03Hey, wait, wait a minute.
13:05He didn't take what was in the pouch.
13:07How do you know?
13:08Because I took it.
13:09Mr. Kellinger, why?
13:11Well, I just had to have that pouch.
13:14I was standing guard over Dusty here and, well, it was a dirty night.
13:20Everything was going to be all right.
13:21Her...
13:23Everyone was asleep.
13:28I kept seeing that pouch.
13:31I knew whatever was in it was valuable.
13:35Very valuable.
13:40Enough to make me rich.
13:43Life.
13:46I could be a millionaire.
13:48Loved by the most beautiful women.
13:50Eat the finest steaks.
13:53I had to have that pouch.
13:58I could see it was going to be tricky.
14:00She barely cared for me.
14:02I got a hold of the pouch.
14:16Oh, yes, ma'am.
14:17Oh.
14:20I'm sorry.
14:29Finally, I had it.
14:36I slashed the pouch open with my knife.
14:42Took out the loot.
14:48And went to bury it.
14:53And that's how I got the loot out of the pouch.
14:56And then I buried it under a tree over there and I covered up the spot with some brush.
15:00Well, you went to a lot of trouble for nothing.
15:04Now you can dig it up again.
15:06Grab that shovel and start digging.
15:09All right.
15:18So.
15:37Well, that's five holes and no loot.
15:41Where is it, Whackermaster?
15:43It's got to be here someplace.
15:44No, no, it's not.
15:47You lied to save a little guy's life.
15:49No, I didn't really.
15:50It's got to be.
15:52Wait!
15:56Why should I?
15:56Callahan lied.
15:59All the more reason to shoot him.
16:00Well, you'd just be wasting a bullet.
16:03I stole the loot.
16:05You Lulu?
16:06Lulu, I can't believe it.
16:08Well, I thought it had money.
16:10Lots of money.
16:12I thought I could build my dance hall.
16:14I needed that pouch.
16:15I had to have it.
16:17So when Mr. Brookhaven was sleeping on duty, I creeped in and...
16:31I could see it just lying there, tantalizing me.
16:35I could be rich, famous, have all my dreams come true.
16:40Just by taking the pouch.
16:47I knew it was going to take my very best, so I gave it everything I had.
16:59I turned on all my charms.
17:03I could tell it was working.
17:05I used every trick I know to cast my spell.
17:12I saw my chance and breathed, still he struck.
17:31So I struck my crowning blow.
17:34I run.
17:48I split open the pouch with my scissors.
17:55I took it to my wake.
18:04You know what I mean, big boy?
18:06Yeah.
18:08Very tricky, but it won't work on me.
18:11Sure worked on me.
18:13Get the loot.
18:14All right.
18:15It's in the wagon.
18:20I put it here somewhere.
18:21No, you didn't.
18:22We emptied the whole wagon.
18:23You lied.
18:24Save that big guy.
18:26No, uh, really, it...
18:28Then find it.
18:33One.
18:34Wait.
18:35You wouldn't shoot a woman.
18:36I'd shoot anyone or everyone.
18:39Two.
18:40Don't.
18:41I'll confess.
18:43I stole the pouch.
18:45You, Andy?
18:47That makes three of you.
18:48You better be telling the truth.
18:51I am.
18:51You, Andy?
18:53Why?
18:54I thought the pouch contained new patents.
18:57Mining maps.
18:59Could make me rich.
19:01And so at night, while I was guarding Dusty,
19:04I saw the pouch lying there.
19:07A fortune right before my eyes.
19:10I tried to resist,
19:13but I couldn't stand it.
19:15I fought with myself.
19:18But it was no use.
19:20I had the hat, and I knew how to get it.
19:27I cut open the pouch,
19:31took out the loot,
19:34and hid it in my tool chest.
19:41Where no one could find it.
19:42Then get it.
19:44Now.
19:46Move.
20:02You're right.
20:03Nobody could find anything in there.
20:05Because it isn't there.
20:07Now, I've had enough of this.
20:09The next person who talks,
20:12better know where that loot is.
20:20All right, Mr. Bates.
20:21I confess.
20:21I did it.
20:22No, I did it.
20:24No, I did it.
20:25All right.
20:29Now, I don't believe any one of you,
20:31but I'm onto your game.
20:33You're stalling for time.
20:35And now you're gonna pay for it.
20:38I'm gonna shoot you all one by one,
20:42until the real thief talks.
20:45Excuse me.
20:45My name is Brookhaven with a B.
20:47I have a respectful request
20:49that you do not shoot us in alphabetical order.
20:52I'll shoot in any order I want.
20:55Starting with you.
20:56Again?
21:00Two.
21:01Yes, just a minute.
21:03I got the loot.
21:04You.
21:06Oh, no, not again.
21:08You're lying to save your buddy's life.
21:10Yeah, that's right.
21:10But I knew when you found that courier
21:11and he didn't have the pouch,
21:12that you'd be back here.
21:13And I split the pouch open and I got it.
21:15No more of your stories.
21:17Just get it.
21:18I'm gonna get it.
21:19I'm gonna get it.
21:20I'm gonna get it.
21:20I'm gonna get it.
21:21I'm gonna get it.
21:22I'm gonna get it.
21:22I'm gonna get it.
21:23I'm gonna get it.
21:24I'm gonna get it.
21:25Right here.
21:27Would you mind telling us what's in it?
21:29We're dying to know, Cal.
21:31Well, I don't know.
21:32The less you know, the better.
21:34Then I'm perfect, because I don't know anything.
21:37Hand it over.
21:43All right, get his gun.
21:44Get his gun.
21:47Now, what are we gonna do with him?
21:49I'll take him.
21:55I'm Lieutenant Conway from Fort Hale.
21:57We got your message.
21:59And I come after this pouch.
22:00Oh, here.
22:02This goes with it.
22:03Just take it all.
22:04It's a match set.
22:05You folks did a good job.
22:07We've been after this man for months.
22:09And this bag is very, very valuable.
22:11We still don't know what's in it.
22:12Yeah, could you tell us that at least?
22:14$10,000.
22:16Payroll for all the soldiers at Fort Hale.
22:18$10,000?
22:20Did you hear that, precious?
22:22We risked our lives for petty cash.
22:24Yeah, well, we certainly want to thank you, Lieutenant.
22:26You arrived just in the nick of time.
22:28Thank you, folks.
22:29And have a safe journey.
22:30All right, you.
22:31Come on.
22:48All right, Dusty.
22:49Let's round up the teams.
22:50We can get started.
22:51Anything you say, Mr. Callahan.
22:53Don't forget to fill the water buckets.
22:54Anything you say, Mr. Callahan.
22:56Why do you keep saying, anything you say, Mr. Callahan?
22:59Because I'm very grateful to you.
23:00And anything you say is okay with me.
23:02I just don't want to hear those five words again.
23:04Five words?
23:05Guard this with your life.
23:08Go get the water, will you?
23:13Now I'm worried about my life.