Dusty's Trail E11: Here Comes The Bride There Goes The Grooms
22min | Comedy, Western | TV Series (1973– )
A stage and a wagon heading west get separated from the rest of the wagon train thanks to Dusty. Now they must make their way to California.
Creators: Elroy Schwartz, Sherwood Schwartz
Stars: Bob Denver, Forrest Tucker, Ivor Francis
22min | Comedy, Western | TV Series (1973– )
A stage and a wagon heading west get separated from the rest of the wagon train thanks to Dusty. Now they must make their way to California.
Creators: Elroy Schwartz, Sherwood Schwartz
Stars: Bob Denver, Forrest Tucker, Ivor Francis
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00Let's follow the path of Dusty's Trail, oh, Dusty's Trail, Dusty's Trail.
00:08A stage and a wagon a-headin' west, part of a wagon train lost from the rest.
00:16Dusty's the reason for their plight, thanks to Dusty nothin's right.
00:24Only the wagon master's hand keeps them a-rollin' to the promised land.
00:31Oh, the goin' gets mighty rough, but they don't seem to mind.
00:37It's California, eh, that's the place they must find.
00:43Deserts and rocks are in their way, but they won't stop, come what may.
00:50Mountains and hills that they must scale, but they know they'll make it,
00:55cause they just can't fail on Dusty's Trail.
01:20Rest of them ought to be awake by now, huh?
01:22I kind of hate to leave this place, it's so peaceful.
01:24Yeah, it sure is.
01:32I think we got company.
01:33What, are you crazy? Nobody around here for miles and miles.
01:37Oh, hi, neighbor.
01:38Nice day, isn't it?
01:39Start trammin'.
01:40Hey, I'd be careful where you're pointing those guns, fellas.
01:42Mr. Callaghan's kind of touching.
01:44I don't like nobody pointing guns at me till I've been properly introduced.
01:57Well, now, here, I'm certainly glad to make some acquaintance, sir.
02:00Yes, sir.
02:02Oh, yes, well.
02:05Yes, sir.
02:08Hey, listen, are you guys after money?
02:23I mean, I got some in a bank in Kansas City.
02:25I'd be happy to go get it for you.
02:27I'll help him carry it.
02:28Mister, one more step and your wife will be a widow.
02:31Hold on, I'm not married.
02:32I wasn't really stepping anyway.
02:34Then your wife will be a widow.
02:36I'm not even engaged, but I'm not stepping either, see?
02:38Yes, sir.
02:40You're just the guys we're looking for.
02:42Well, if you're not after money, what do you want?
02:44Might do something to cheer up our sisters.
02:47Poor Elvira and Cleo.
02:48Practically to the altar.
02:50When Clarence and Harvey haven't cashed in their chips.
02:55Oh, that's too bad.
02:56What did they die of?
02:57You might say it's a bad case of lead poisoning.
03:00Accident?
03:01Nope.
03:02It's more like on purpose.
03:05Oh, well, I can see how your sisters would need some cheering up.
03:08Sure enough, losing their grooms like that, huh?
03:10Yeah, we'd be happy to cheer them up.
03:11Mr. Callahan can tell them jokes.
03:13He does great turkey gobbler.
03:14He does it so good we almost lost him on Thanksgiving.
03:18That's not exactly what we had in mind.
03:20We were thinking about words, you might say.
03:23Words would make them gals happy again.
03:26What words?
03:27Just two short ones.
03:28I do.
03:29You don't.
03:30We do.
03:32Listen, we don't even know your sisters.
03:34They gotta be kidding.
03:36They're not kidding.
03:44Is anything wrong?
03:45Callahan and Dusty aren't here.
03:47Oh, well, last night they said they were going hunting this morning.
03:50And the horses are all here.
03:52They must have gone on foot.
03:54Well, now, in that case, we ought to be able to track them.
03:57Here's some footprints leading away from the wagon.
04:02What do you say we follow them, Mr. Brookhaven?
04:05I'm a banker, not a bloodhound.
04:08Come on.
04:10Oh, very well.
04:15We'll just wait right here while Buck gets the girls.
04:18You're about to meet up with two pretty fillies.
04:21Pretty what?
04:22Careful, mister.
04:23You're talking about my sisters.
04:25I was only joking.
04:26I mean, you asked us to be cheerful.
04:28Yeah, that's what we are, cheerful.
04:30Then how about a smile?
04:32Yeah, we're smiling, but from the inside.
04:35Yeah, just from the outside, we're miserable.
04:37I'll give you something to be happy about.
04:39In about two minutes, you're going to be popping the question.
04:42And Elvira and Cleo will be saying yes.
04:45Yeah, well, maybe they won't say yes.
04:47Maybe they won't even like us.
04:49Oh, they'll like you, all right.
04:51Well, what if we don't like them?
04:53You'll like them.
04:55We'll like them.
04:56We'll like them.
05:04I think I kind of envy those guys out there under the dirt.
05:06I think they took the easy way out.
05:08Hey, Elvira, meet up with, uh...
05:10Callahan.
05:11That's, uh, my name is Cal...
05:12No, this is Dusty.
05:13Howdy.
05:14Howdy.
05:15Howdy.
05:16Howdy.
05:17Come on, Cleo.
05:18Four's coming, six is a crowd.
05:20The boys here have something to ask you.
05:23We'll be right outside.
05:26I kind of like the big one.
05:28Oh, all right.
05:29Then I'll take the shrimp.
05:31Come on, boys, let's sit down.
05:33Oh, yes, yes.
05:36Buck says you have something you want to ask us.
05:38Ask him?
05:39Oh, I can't think of anything that we...
05:40Can you think of anything that we were going to ask?
05:42I can't think of anything I'd ask him.
05:44I'm sure Clint said you had a question you all wanted to ask us.
05:48Oh, that question, yes.
05:50Yeah, well, the boys told us that we had to ask...
05:52I mean, they told us that we wanted to ask you if we couldn't all have a drink.
05:58That's the question, right.
06:00Say, that sounds like a good idea.
06:03Yeah, help us all get better acquainted.
06:07Uh-huh, uh-huh.
06:12Let's get out of here while we're still alive and single.
06:15Come on.
06:18We're alive, free, and single.
06:19Hey, stop talking.
06:20Let's start running.
06:21Huh?
06:25Going somewhere?
06:27Uh, well, we was just going out for a little air.
06:29You see, it was warm in there.
06:32Warm, was it?
06:33I can put a few holes in you to cool you off.
06:44You don't have to tie us up.
06:45We're not going anywhere.
06:46That's your butcher, not us.
06:47You fellas might as well know the truth.
06:49Buck and me, we're desperate.
06:51We want to get to California, make us a fortune.
06:54But we promised Pop on his deathbed that we wouldn't leave the gals unless they was hitched and had somebody to take care of them.
07:01Yeah, well, why us? Why not somebody else?
07:03Because you're here and somebody else ain't.
07:05You got a point there.
07:06Hey, whose side are you on?
07:07We got two other guys all set, but they tried to run out on us.
07:11So you see, you ain't got much choice.
07:13It's either marrying or joining Clarence and Harvey out there.
07:17Oh, yeah, well, the more I think about it, the more attractive those ladies get, huh?
07:21Good thinking, mister.
07:22Yeah, yeah.
07:30Why did you say that?
07:32I'm not marrying either one of those girls and my life depends on it.
07:34Neither am I.
07:35I'm just trying to give ourselves a breathing spell until we can break out of here.
07:38Oh, you had me worried for a minute.
07:40Hey, listen, see if you can reach the notch down on my wrist, will you?
07:43Okay.
07:44Oh, I think I've got it.
07:46I've got it.
07:47Yeah?
07:48Yeah.
07:49Good.
07:50Yeah, I've got it.
07:51Yeah.
07:52Yeah.
07:53Okay.
07:54I'm working on it.
07:55Yeah.
07:56There.
07:57I'm getting it.
07:58I'm getting it.
07:59Nope.
08:00No?
08:01No?
08:02What happened?
08:03I've been tugging on my thumb.
08:04Okay, good.
08:05Listen, there's just one little latch on that door.
08:06Maybe if we can kind of jump over there, you know?
08:07Oh, okay.
08:08All right, let's give it a try.
08:09Here you go.
08:10Here.
08:11There.
08:12There.
08:13Whoa.
08:14Whoa.
08:15It's getting lower and lower.
08:16It's getting lower and lower.
08:17You ever been a papoose?
08:18Papoose?
08:19Yeah, you know how they carry them Indian kids on the back?
08:21Hang tight.
08:22Oh, yeah.
08:23Get to the door.
08:24Oh, yeah.
08:25No more.
08:26No more over this way.
08:27There it is.
08:28Oh, listen.
08:29We're free.
08:30We're free.
08:31I don't know how I'm going to thank you, Mr. Callahan, for saving my life.
08:41Will you stop blubbering?
08:42Let's just get out of here.
08:48Atta boy, Mr. Callahan.
08:49Keep going.
08:55What's the matter?
08:58That's the matter.
09:04Do you see what I see?
09:06I do, but I don't believe it.
09:09Getting some more fresh air?
09:10No, we were trying to escape.
09:13Don't know why you fellas are carrying on so.
09:15We ain't asking you to love them gals.
09:17All you gotta do is marry them.
09:19Yeah, but we'd make lousy husbands.
09:21We like to be bachelors.
09:22Yeah, yeah.
09:23Every man likes being the best.
09:25We all gotta go sometime.
09:27This time, everything's gonna be done proper-like.
09:30First the courting, then hugging, then proposing.
09:36First the courting, then the hugging,
09:37then the proposing, in that order.
09:39In any order, you name it.
09:42Maybe we ought to jump them.
09:43Are you joking?
09:44Either one of those monstrous brutes
09:46could tear us in half.
09:47Well, we can't stand by and do nothing.
09:49I have no intention to.
09:50I was about to propose a very definite plan of action.
09:53What?
09:54Let's go back to the wagon and tell the ladies
09:55we're in trouble.
09:59Yeah.
10:08Yeah, well, I don't want you ladies
10:10to think we're too forward,
10:11but when you see beauty that's so overpowering
10:13it just makes your heart hammer,
10:15well, there's just nothing you can do
10:16but come out and say so.
10:17Now, that's a mighty fine speech.
10:19I agree.
10:20You do?
10:21Yep, that was a mighty fine speech.
10:22Yeah, I was about to say the same thing myself.
10:24You two girls are something else.
10:27A few minutes ago, you acted like
10:28you could hardly wait to get out of here.
10:30Yeah, well, we were just overcome by emotion.
10:32You know, we just couldn't go on and speak out.
10:35Yeah, we never met two girls like you before.
10:39Dusty, don't pay these girls compliments like that.
10:41They just must be hearing them all the time.
10:44Papa used to say our eyes was prettier than a heifer's.
10:47But don't you think I'm a little too-
10:49What, plump?
10:50Why, fiddlesticks, I mean,
10:51a girl with a figure like yours,
10:53what, the extra 30, 40 pounds, don't hardly show.
10:57You boys certainly know how to sweet-talk a girl.
11:00No, that ain't sweet-talk,
11:01I mean not when you've got a proper inspiration.
11:04Yeah, and we got plenty of inspiration.
11:06Uh, listen, would you, uh, would you pardon us?
11:09Just a minute, Dusty, come here.
11:14Well, it's the moment of truth.
11:16Which one you want?
11:18It's like having a choice between being trampled
11:19by an elephant or eaten by a buzzard.
11:21Yeah, well, I'll take the elephant.
11:23I'll take the buzzard.
11:27Well, now, Elviry, I haven't known you for very long,
11:30but there's something that I've got to ask you.
11:33Big boy, if you're proposing, the answer is yeah.
11:37Yeah, yeah, yeah, wow.
11:38Leo, there comes a time in every man's life
11:40when he wishes he was dead.
11:42I mean, he wishes he was dead right when he chooses his girl,
11:44and I guess I'm-
11:45Sweetheart, I accept.
11:58I've got it.
11:59I've got just the thing.
12:01Andy, what is it?
12:03Well, I remember reading in a new scientific journal
12:05about a chemical discovery.
12:07I think I've succeeded in duplicating the formula.
12:10Andy, this is no time to be playing mad scientist.
12:13Callahan and Dusty are in trouble.
12:15If this chemical does just half of what it's supposed to do,
12:18Callahan and Dusty will soon be free as birds.
12:22Bachelor birds.
12:24Oh.
12:31Welcome to the family, brothers-in-laws.
12:34Well, not just yet.
12:35I mean, you see, we believe in long engagements.
12:37Oh, that's all right with us, right, Clint?
12:39Sure, till tomorrow.
12:41Tomorrow?
12:42Yep, the Marian preacher's coming by
12:45to hitch the gals up with Clarence and Harvey.
12:47There'll be a change in names, that's all.
12:50Sure nice to know the preacher won't be coming for nothing.
12:54Oh.
13:02Those two men are still on guard.
13:05Are you sure this'll work?
13:07It's called chloroform.
13:09And according to that article I read,
13:11a couple of whiffs of this and those two bruisers
13:13will be hearing rockabye baby.
13:14Ew.
13:23Ew.
13:41Jumpin' horn toads, they're there.
13:44I must have died and gone to heaven.
13:48Howdy.
13:49Hi.
13:51We saw the house and we thought we'd say howdy.
13:54We hope you don't mind.
13:55Sure, we don't mind.
13:57Can we glance?
13:58Heck no.
13:59Best thing that's happened around here
14:00since the sheriff fell off his horse and broke his leg.
14:07Well, we was thinking of opening up a dance school nearby
14:10and, uh.
14:10A dancing school?
14:12Yeah.
14:13And I'll betcha I could teach you to do the waltz
14:15in just one little old lesson.
14:16Yeah, come here.
14:21Now, why don't you take those big arms
14:23and put them around my little waist and watch my feet.
14:26Ready?
14:27One, two, three, one, two, three, one, two, three.
14:31You sure have a wonderful physique.
14:33Pretty good muscles, too.
14:36Hey, you smell good.
14:39Oh, it's not me, it's my flowers.
14:41See?
14:42Boy, this waltz sure is fun.
14:47I, uh, I, uh.
14:53Uh.
15:06Ha, fancy.
15:08Lulu, hey, you're just in time.
15:10Yeah, the preacher's coming tomorrow to marry us.
15:12Not if we can help it.
15:14Oh, oh, oh, thank you.
15:19Oh, oh boy, I tell you.
15:21Hey, how'd you get past the guards?
15:23Don't worry about them, they're in Slumberland.
15:25Yeah, now listen, we'll go first
15:27to make sure the coast is clear.
15:28And when you hear an owl hoot, you come a-runnin'.
15:31Come a-runnin', right, owl.
15:32Here we got, you got that.
15:33Uh-huh, yeah.
15:34Oh, I'll never forget Lulu and Betsy for this.
15:36They saved us from a fate worse than.
15:38Ooh.
15:40Hey, that sound like an owl to you?
15:42Well, I don't know.
15:49What are you stopping for?
15:50I just thought of a way to show her
15:52appreciation to Betsy and Lulu.
15:53Oh?
15:55I'll give these to Betsy.
15:57Hey, that's a good idea.
15:58I'll give these to Lulu.
15:59Oh, I bet they'll really like these, huh?
16:01Hey, they smell good, don't they?
16:02Mm, yeah, we'd better get going before it's too late.
16:05Hey, Dusty, there's no time to take it.
16:07Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah.
16:21Yeah.
16:30And then Dusty and Callahan smelled the flowers
16:33and passed out.
16:35Now, you mustn't blame yourselves, my dears.
16:37Perhaps you can try again tomorrow.
16:39Tomorrow will be too late.
16:41The preacher comes tomorrow to tie the knots.
16:44That soon?
16:45Yeah, just 24 little hours.
16:48Suppose the preacher were to arrive before tomorrow,
16:51like today, for example, huh?
16:54Before tomorrow, like today, for example, huh?
17:24Howdy, brother.
17:25Don't let me stop your work.
17:26He who cuts his own wood is twice blessed.
17:30Amen.
17:32Amen.
17:33I wasn't expecting Preacher Waldo till tomorrow.
17:35I prayed the good brother was gone to his just deserts.
17:38Gone?
17:40Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.
17:43Amen.
17:44Amen.
17:45Reverend Brookhaven's my name, brother,
17:48and this here is my helpmate in joy and sorrow,
17:51Mrs. Reverend Brookhaven.
17:53Pleased to meet you.
17:55You a regular reverend?
17:56Ordained by this book for preaching,
17:59funeralizing, and baptizing.
18:01How about weddings?
18:03Oh, when the reverend joins them,
18:04you can't separate them with a crowbar.
18:06Reverend, I think you and us can do some business.
18:12I just know I'm going to cry.
18:14I always cry at weddings.
18:17I know a couple men are going to cry at this wedding,
18:19which reminds me, I'd better go get the grooms.
18:23A true lucky thing for us reverends, can't it?
18:26Well, here come the brides.
18:29Look at that.
18:30Look at that.
18:32It's a bean.
18:36This is cruel and a human punishment.
18:39Thank you, sir.
18:41It was beautiful.
18:42I've been practicing it for a long time.
18:47Swell, don't you?
18:48Yeah.
18:51Get in here.
18:52Look.
18:54Reverend Ross, I want you to meet the man
18:56that's going to do the honors, Reverend Brookhaven.
18:58Wait a minute, he's not a rever...
18:59Don't be nervous, friend.
19:01Just leave it to the reverend.
19:02As good book says,
19:04e pluribus unum and caveat emto.
19:08Amen.
19:09Amen.
19:11All right, everybody.
19:12Now I'll hit you in time.
19:13Brothers and sisters, we are gathered here
19:16to usher four people into the holy bonds of matrimony.
19:20Get on with it, reverend.
19:22These gals ain't getting any younger.
19:24According to the ashes and liabilities
19:27and with the power vested in me
19:29by the chairman of the board,
19:31Callahan, Dusty, Cleo, Elvira,
19:37in sickness and in health, and Richard.
19:40I now pronounce you man and wife.
19:42I now pronounce you man and wife.
19:44The glory be...
19:45Hallelujah.
19:46Congratulations.
19:48I'm so glad you're here.
19:50So far, so good.
19:51I just hope Mr. Brookhaven doesn't turn out
19:53to be a real reverend.
19:54Wait a minute.
19:54We know a reverend, but they don't in a good way.
19:57Don't worry about that.
19:58Now, listen.
20:07Hey, well, ain't you gonna kiss your bride?
20:10Sure, I can't wait.
20:13Hold it.
20:15You are kissing the wrong girl.
20:17No.
20:19I married him to her and her to him.
20:24Well, unmarry him and start over again.
20:26I can't.
20:28I'm authorized to marry people, not to unmarry them.
20:31What do you mean to tell me
20:32that he is married to my daughter now, Byrie?
20:34I'm afraid so.
20:37Why, you're just a no good skunk.
20:38You planned this on purpose
20:39so that you could steal my beautiful bride.
20:41You mean, G. Polk?
20:42Can't you fix it up so you could steal my beautiful Cleo?
20:44You are just a no good varmint.
20:46That's what you are.
20:47Well, you're nothing but a no good double low-down varmint.
20:49Why, nobody can talk to me like that.
20:52This calls for a duel.
20:53I just happen to have some pistols in my wagon.
20:55Now, just a minute.
20:56Can't we talk this over?
20:58No chance.
20:59He's demanded satisfaction.
21:04Shall we say 20 paces and fire at will?
21:07Make that 10 paces.
21:08I want to shoot that wife-stealing varmint
21:10right between the eyes.
21:11Make that five paces.
21:12My honor's at stake.
21:13Five paces it is.
21:15One, two, three, four, five.
21:20Ah!
21:22Ah, they got me.
21:23Ah, I haven't gone a goodbye cruel world.
21:26He got me.
21:28Right in the guzzard.
21:29Guzzard?
21:30Yeah, guzzard.
21:31Ah!
21:32Tigger, they're just wounded.
21:34And we can nurse them back to health.
21:36Too late.
21:37They're cold as mackerel.
21:39Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.
21:41Amen.
21:43Amen.
21:44We sure weren't married long, Cleo.
21:47Well, least ways.
21:47Now we can tell folks we're widows.
21:51Come on, Buck.
21:52Let's get the shovels.
21:54No, no.
21:55All my fault. We'll take them to the nearest town,
21:58see they get a fitting burial.
22:15Don't mourn, brothers and sisters.
22:19Wherever they are, they're thinking of us.
22:22Don't mourn, brothers and sisters.
22:26Wherever they are, they're thinking of us.
22:29Don't mourn, brothers and sisters.
22:33Wherever they are, they're thinking of us.
22:53I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't.
22:57Dusty, will you shut up?
22:59Huh? What?
23:00Get a little sleep, please.
23:02What?
23:03You keep on and I don't. I don't.
23:05I was having the most terrible dream.
23:07I dreamt I was being married to Cleo and she kept saying,
23:09I do. I do. And I kept saying,
23:11I don't. I don't. I don't.
23:22The End