Super Team Canada - Season 1 Episode 2
#ShowMovies
#ShowMovies
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00The following program is rated 14 plus and may contain coarse language, violence, nudity,
00:11mature subject matter, or scenes which may not be suitable for all viewers.
00:14Viewer discretion is advised.
00:30I guess who's going to save it all?
00:33It's a dirty job, but someone's got to do it.
00:38Yeah, we can do it.
00:43The fate of the free world.
00:49We're the heroes of the land.
00:52We're the heroes of the land.
01:00How long has he been like this?
01:14I told you, you shouldn't have told him.
01:16That the children's show he grew up with got cancelled 30 years ago.
01:20Uncle Sloppy and the Do-Right Boys was clearly important in a young breakaway's life.
01:26Crazy dance, crazy dance.
01:27Oh, sorry I'm late.
01:39The guy behind the counter kept sticking his fingers in my blizzards.
01:42Don't even think about it.
01:44Ow.
01:47Emergency, emergency.
01:48Something just ripped the perimeter sensor.
01:50I know it wasn't breakaway's balls.
01:57Help me.
02:04My name is Walton Grotzky.
02:09Walton Grotzky?
02:11The father of Lane Grotzky, the greatest hockey player of all time?
02:15Yes.
02:15But you died in 2021.
02:19Holy night in Canada.
02:39Can we just drink it from the cup?
02:41Mr. Grotzky, how did you find us?
02:45And equally important, how are you alive?
02:48You died March 14th in your hometown of Brantford, Ontario in a quilt made by your great aunt on your radish farm.
02:54Yes, that's exactly what he wanted everyone to believe, the evil coach chaos.
03:01He kidnapped me and faked my death.
03:04Many years ago, a young hockey player with dreams of the NHL was cut for trying to push his own game plan ideas.
03:12I had a roommate just like that, the A-J-M-M-D-H-L-A-G, the Alberta Junior Mini Minor Developmental Hockey League Association Group.
03:21His name was Jerome.
03:22The guy was so arrogant, he changed the play on the ice, collided with his own goalie, and got his hand cut clean off by the goalie's stick.
03:28Any whoozles, the player became a pariah, was kicked out of hockey, went insane, and after years of hiding, re-emerged as the deranged coach chaos.
03:39He stole my son's jockstrap from the National Grosky Archive and extracted DNA from the cup area.
03:48Where's Ballsies go?
03:49And created clones of my beloved Lane, before I could tell anyone I was kidnapped and held prisoner at his compound,
03:57where he forced me to train the clones the same way I trained Lane.
04:01He plans to replace every player in the NHL and coach his own army.
04:05The NHL will collapse, Canadians will be robbed of the outlet for all their aggression,
04:11and the country will descend into chaos and hurtful comments.
04:15Oh God, we can't let that happen.
04:18Super Team Canada, let's roll!
04:21I forgot the van keys.
04:23Don't you worry, Walton Grosky, because we're all over this crap like Kenny Lindsman riding Risto Siltanen.
04:36You very quiet. Coach Chaos is a maniac.
04:41Yeah, a maniac who's about to meet the law in law enforcement.
04:45I cannot believe you idiots are the defenders of the world.
04:49Insane mega burn, Walton Grosky.
04:53I'll be the bigger man here, and admit that may have been me.
04:58Ow, Walton. The great ones were so worried about you, and you've brought guests.
05:25Super Team Canada, such a nice surprise.
05:29For everyone but me, because you've all fallen perfectly into my planned craft.
05:34Oh yeah, one more thing.
05:37Well, would you look at that. The old man is holding a gun.
05:41Holy howie meager Walton Grosky, what are you doing?
05:44Sorry, guys. I forgot to mention, there was one more clone.
05:50Me.
05:51The real Walton did die.
05:54So I brought him back as bait.
05:56You're all about to ride some pies.
05:59In heaven!
06:00Got you!
06:01Attack!
06:01Game over, losers.
06:16Welcome back.
06:17How was your nap?
06:18You're all trapped inside a very special penalty box that I custom built for you.
06:24It has zero moisture anywhere to manipulate, a special atmosphere that'll prove fatal with any additional weather,
06:29it is too cold for circuits to operate,
06:32and I left an open jar of smooth peanut butter in there to distract ya.
06:36Great story, jackass.
06:39But for someone who brags about planning everything, you forgot one hero.
06:43Me.
06:44I can blast this freezer apart with my super bucks in two seconds.
06:47Two and a half in Newfoundland.
06:49I know that.
06:50So I went back to an old playbook.
06:53Very old.
06:54My mom's ex-husbands?
06:56Dude, you're gonna have to try better than that.
06:59Oh, I did.
07:01I believe you have a fondness for a certain sloppy trio.
07:06No, you didn't, Uncle Sloppy, you monster.
07:11You try and stop me and Uncle Sloppy and the do-right boys will be cancelled a second time.
07:17In small, bloody pieces.
07:19Sweet buttery Jesus, you maniac.
07:22How did you know Breakaway loved that show?
07:24And why do you hate hockey so much?
07:26Because I lost my chance to be the best player ever back in the AJMMDHLAG,
07:32and now I get my revenge on them all!
07:34Jerome?
07:35Jerome?
07:35Ooh.
07:36Ooh.
07:39Ha ha ha!
07:40Hockey as we know, it is over!
07:42Walton, load the Grotskis onto the plane and meet me at the NHL HQ in NY!
07:45Ah!
07:45Ah!
07:46Ah!
07:46Ah!
07:46Ah!
07:46Ah!
07:47Ah!
07:47Ah!
07:48Ah!
07:48Ah!
07:49Ah!
07:49Ah!
07:50Ah!
07:50Ah!
07:51Ah!
07:51Ah!
07:52Ah!
07:52Ah!
07:53Ah!
07:53Ah!
07:54Ah!
07:54Ah!
07:55Ah!
07:55Ah!
07:56Ah!
07:56Ah!
07:57Ah!
07:57Ah!
07:58Ah!
07:58Ah!
07:59Ah!
07:59Ah!
08:00Ah!
08:00Ah!
08:01Ah!
08:02Ah!
08:03I can't believe this is how it all ends for us. And our national pastime.
08:06Uh, technically, lacrosse is Canada's official spot since 1859.
08:11We need to stop that plane before we freeze to death.
08:13Zask, any ideas?
08:18Useless, just like this clown.
08:19Snap out of it, idiot. We need you. Come on, let's move.
08:24That's it. Chaos planned this trap for everybody but Breakaway.
08:28And I know how to give Breakaway his power back to get us out.
08:33Crazy dance, crazy dance, let up, will stop me in your pants.
08:37Crazy dance, crazy dance, let up, will stop me in your pants.
08:40Crazy dance, crazy dance, let up, will stop me in your pants.
08:42Come on, Breakaway. You can do it.
08:46Summon that magic in your pants. That came out wrong.
08:50Dad.
08:51What's that break? Speak to us.
08:53I said now I know what my dad meant when he said if he heard that song one more time, he'd throw himself dick first into a wood chipper.
09:00I'm back, baby.
09:03And I've got a new game plan.
09:13You guys take care of things on this end.
09:18League update, President.
09:20You and all the players are out and my clones are in.
09:23If the world wants hockey, they need to pay to watch my boys play.
09:29As my third mom said to my dad on their honeymoon, not so fast.
09:33And away from the butt, sweetie.
09:35Super Team Canada by Gordie Howe.
09:38By using something you never learned and what caused your problems in the first place.
09:43It makes the dream work and they call it motherfucking teamwork.
09:47First line, let's do it.
09:49No, no, no, no, no, no.
09:50Now where don't this?
09:51Close.
10:04Be careful.
10:09Yeah.
10:10A bomb.
10:12I'd like to call a timeout.
10:24All according to plan.
10:26What have you done?
10:28You mean besides Save Your League and Canada?
10:31I saved myself.
10:32I never needed a special show to be a hero,
10:35because the hero was always right inside me.
10:40Uncle Sloppy and the Do-Right Boys?
10:46Forget everything I just said.
10:48Is there any chance you could give me a crazy dance?
11:00A very rare triple full cardiac arrest.
11:03Your dancing killed them.
11:05Uncle Sloppy!
11:07Uncle Sloppy!
11:10Yeah!
11:19The Sasquatch.
11:20Some call them mysterious.
11:22But the only mystery is how they're so darn adorable.
11:26When not posing for blurry photos,
11:28they enjoy solitude and swimming.
11:32What an incredible program.
11:36We all learned so much and have now earned our Canadian tax credits.
11:40Now to discuss something actually important.
11:43The environment.
11:44Some people here aren't doing their part to protect Mother Earth.
11:48Do you have specific or are you just being vague because you're perpetually single?
11:53Yes and no.
11:54Sasq, you've got to stop using trees as toothpicks.
11:56Break away what healthy man orders 1,000 diapers a week.
12:00Others who shall go unnamed need to stop getting takeout in non-biodegradable containers.
12:06And Poutine, just stop breathing.
12:08Oh, talk about hypocrisy.
12:10How much water did you waste hosing down your knockers?
12:13We raised $23.
12:15Gals, would you put the claws away?
12:17If we want pollution facts, let's ask our resident calculator to run the numbers.
12:20Hey, one's mainly zeros.
12:21Beep boop.
12:22Thoughts beep boop.
12:23Ugh.
12:24Hey, you okay?
12:25Why the long monitor?
12:26No, I'm not okay.
12:28Not at all.
12:29I feel alone and ignored.
12:31You guys never include me unless you need somewhere to rest a drink.
12:34And then, no one even uses a coaster.
12:37Come on, RC.
12:38We love you.
12:39We respect you.
12:40You are a key part...
12:41Ooh!
12:42Pizza box ready.
12:43I endorse these in the 80s.
12:44Still working through the samples.
12:46Huh.
12:47Could be a little hotter.
12:50Now, where were we?
12:51You're sad about the weather or something?
12:53I know I'm different.
12:55I'm a robot peg in a human hole.
12:57I can do more than run numbers, be an answering machine, and use my global radar system to vacuum the layer.
13:02Sometimes I just feel...
13:04Oh, oh, oh, oh!
13:05Hold up, hold up, hold up!
13:06Okay.
13:07Now, back to your pity party.
13:09Sometimes I just feel...
13:12It's the PM.
13:15There's an emergency.
13:16RC can whatever you were saying wait.
13:18Oh, or does it even matter?
13:21You're the best.
13:22And I know the perfect on-the-go snack.
13:25Thanks for coming.
13:28This year's budget didn't build in napkins.
13:34This man's life is in grave peril.
13:39Did he insult BTS?
13:41He's Kim Jong-un's stylist who tried adding some fun into his wardrobe.
13:46Sentenced to death, he stole his ship to escape.
13:48But him being a stylist and not a sailor, the ship crashed, spilling nuclear waste into the Great Pacific Garbage Patch.
13:55We rescued the stylist, but the radiation created a sentient monster hell-bent on destroying everything in her path.
14:02Makes perfect sense.
14:03Trash plus radiation equals monster.
14:06That's math.
14:07What's the patch mad about?
14:08The environment?
14:09Rising ocean temperatures that Poutine secretly wears cheap lingerie?
14:12Body issues.
14:13Well, she is twice as big as Texas.
14:16Yes.
14:17And she's also tired of hearing that.
14:18If she was a male radioactive killer garbage patch, I bet people would call her Driven and a game changer.
14:25Right, RCMPC?
14:26Wait, where'd you go?
14:27No time for that!
14:28We need Super Team Canada to destroy this menace and make sure it never bothers us again.
14:33But also, be sensitive. It's going through some stuff.
14:36To Super Vanilla One!
14:39Okay, so what did you come up with?
14:44Love it!
14:45We've all heard of urban cowboys, but never a rural one.
14:48I haven't anyway.
14:53Hey, you missed the meeting.
14:54But clearly no one missed me.
14:56Me?
14:57I did. I had nowhere to rest my drink.
14:59Well, a giant self-conscious garbage patch is threatening the Earth.
15:03Ugh! The Earth again!
15:04Why does anyone even care about the future?
15:06Death looms for all.
15:08Why even try to fight the inevitable?
15:10Not the best locker room pep talk I've heard, but not the worst.
15:13I once had a coach in Red Deer who just said,
15:15Win or lose, protect your nuts.
15:17What is going on with you?
15:18Ugh, I think the pressure of always being responsible for saving the world has activated some sort of awareness chip in my system.
15:25I feel alone.
15:26So very, very alone.
15:28What are you standing around for?
15:30Giddy up!
15:31Giddy up!
15:47Classic body shamers!
15:48I will not be apologizing for taking up strikes!
15:52Time to take out the tracks!
15:57Wait, we need to think about this. It's way bigger than I thought.
16:00Don't put the muscle, huh?
16:02Good now, flex.
16:03Hey, Patch! Suck ice, you big freak!
16:08Big? I prefer the charm to our thighs!
16:13I got the perfect snack for this.
16:19And I'll stop this. Water is my thing.
16:23We're safe if we don't do nothing that'll move us forward or back.
16:38Too much turkeys or pizza.
16:40The patch is gone!
16:48Calm down, Grandpa. I have an app.
16:52It's headed for Hawaii.
16:54This may be perfect. Hawaii has exactly what we need.
16:58An alphabet with only 13 letters?
17:00No. Hawaii has volcanoes, huge, molten cauldrons,
17:04perfect to destroy a giant, plastic, unenvironmental menace.
17:08Someone would have to lure it there. It's suicide.
17:15RCMPC, send a distress signal warning Hawaii about the patch.
17:20Uh...
17:22Huh. A note from RC?
17:24If not valued by humankind in life,
17:26perhaps I can be a noble death.
17:28Goodbye, cruel analog world?
17:34Whale coming through!
17:35That's what you guys are looking for, right?
17:38You can't run from the very thing you humans created!
17:43But to stop you, maybe it'll take something inhuman!
17:48You can't stop me!
17:52And about this about RCMPC?
17:54Bingo.
17:55Damn, I was so close.
17:57I meant I see her. There.
18:05I see her in pain.
18:06But what causing me pain changed that?
18:09Well, I never asked for this.
18:11I was conceived from single-use plastics and people who never understood recycling.
18:16One day, I was just alive with feelings.
18:21Ah!
18:22So many feelings!
18:24Oh, I can relate.
18:25I never asked to exist either.
18:28Someone built me, plugged me in, and now here I am, conscious.
18:31Aw, thanks for sharing.
18:34You know what else we have in common?
18:36No, what?
18:37I'm going to kill you.
18:39Because just like you, me, life, and Beanie Babies, everything is garbage!
18:46I did it!
18:47I drove right into our teammate!
18:51I did it!
18:52I drove right into our teammate!
19:03Bride me, insecure robots!
19:05I did it!
19:06Ah-ha!
19:07I refuse to let you trash my friends, because you weren't hot enough!
19:12No!
19:13Oh!
19:14Oh!
19:16Oh!
19:17R.C.
19:18Get out of there!
19:19You're gonna melt!
19:20No!
19:21I've realized my spouting about being non-human was exactly what a human would do!
19:25Thus, I am not only like you, but for the very first time, I also like myself!
19:32I have never been happier!
19:35Goodbye, life!
19:36Goodbye, consciousness!
19:38No!
19:44Sorry about your friend, but we've gotta get out of here!
19:47Maybe one of you can drive!
19:49Me being crushed under your van and all!
19:56She was the best!
19:57I'm gonna miss that side table!
19:59Companion and cup holder!
20:01I'll never forget her!
20:03You're better not!
20:08She's alive?
20:09But how?
20:10We saw you get smoked by that volcano!
20:12And heroically take the patch with you!
20:15The garbage patch saved me!
20:17All that heat melted those microplastics and coated me in a protective shield,
20:21and then I made my way here!
20:23Back to my best friend!
20:25So I guess this is the one time things didn't end-
20:28Yes!
20:29A happy ending!
20:30Sure, happy ending.
20:31But didn't we also just release a huge puff of toxic smoke into the air?
20:48Aw, lovely!
20:49I'm no mechanic, but I'm pretty sure you're eight weeks pregnant.
20:53I'm glad you're safe and still here.
20:55And we're not gonna put drinks on you anymore.
20:57And I hope you know you're not just valuable, you're integral!
21:00A vital part of our team, you're essential!
21:02Somebody rented a thesaurus.
21:04Oh, thank you all for saving me!
21:06I'm not fully convinced about my self-worth,
21:08but I can say I've momentarily suppressed my negative thoughts!
21:12That's called being human.
21:14We even got you a little gift.
21:16I know just where to put it!
21:20May cause vomiting, death, cholera, or all of the above.
21:29We'll be right back!
21:59The way the truth is!
22:01Yeah.
22:02What do you want?
22:03The way the truth is?
22:04When you get your answers,
22:06it's really difficult from being in this room.
22:08Let me go!
22:10Let me go!
22:11Let me go!
22:12No.
22:13Let me go!
22:14Let me go!
22:15I'm going!
22:16I'm going!
22:17I'm going.
22:18I'm going to go!
22:19I'll go!
22:20I'm going!
22:21I'm going!