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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00I hate this Jeep. I've never been so uncomfortable in my whole life. How much longer before we get there?
00:00:26Shut up already. We're almost to Mexico. Okay, remember, rule number O and O, don't drink the water. And rule number two, don't mess with the local women.
00:00:36What's wrong with the water? You get the shits. What about the women? You get the crabs. You think the water at the Tropicana Cabana is okay to drink?
00:00:43Yes, it says right here that all water at first class resorts and hotels is safe to drink. It's filtered. Good. And then it's boiled. Good.
00:00:51And then just to be on the safe side, they suggest that we all drink beer. I hate beer.
00:00:56Oh, Stanley, when will you grow up? He's only teasing you, stupid.
00:00:59Cut it out. You're ruining all my pictures. And don't call me stupid. Stupid. Besides, you're just jealous because you can't afford a video camera.
00:01:10Spoiled brat. Cool it, you guys. We're going on our vacation. Don't ruin it.
00:01:14Vacation, my ass. What are you talking about? This is going to be great.
00:01:18No, no. What are you talking about? Look, my parents drag me down to the Catskills every summer. I know about these places, you guys. We're going to work our asses off.
00:01:30You call this place work? Welcome to paradise. This place really looks like wine. I hope the food's good.
00:01:38Yeah, I bet it's great if you like hot chili peppers. I love hot chilies.
00:01:42That's right, Arnie, my boy. I don't care what Ricky says about his Catskills. We are in for a very nice summer.
00:01:51This is where we're supposed to sleep?
00:02:02No way. I'm not going to sleep in there.
00:02:06With a horse.
00:02:08Where's the bathroom?
00:02:10I am Senor Esteban Rodriguez Cortez III, the owner of the Hacienda Tropicana Cabana Resort.
00:02:16And I like to be addressed by my full name.
00:02:20Is this clear?
00:02:22Yes.
00:02:27Yes, what?
00:02:28Yes, sir.
00:02:30Yes, senor.
00:02:32Yes, senor.
00:02:33Yes, senor, what?
00:02:38Rodriguez?
00:02:41Cortez.
00:02:42Cortez.
00:02:46Uh, sir.
00:02:49Senor Esteban Rodriguez Cortez.
00:02:52Oh, that's all.
00:02:57Junior.
00:03:00Senor Esteban Rodriguez Cortez deterred.
00:03:05Deterred.
00:03:07Yes, senor Esteban Rodriguez Cortez deterred.
00:03:11Dear mom, well, we arrived in one piece.
00:03:16Bandits didn't kill us.
00:03:17I told you they wouldn't.
00:03:19Arnie complained the whole way, and we were always stopping to buy food and let him go to the bathroom.
00:03:24Aren't you glad you're not his mother?
00:03:25Arnie and Stanley fought the entire way.
00:03:28You know, Stanley's a real pain.
00:03:30Jason's pissed because he thought this was going to be a vacation.
00:03:32The hotel is owned by a crazy man.
00:03:35Senor Esteban Rodriguez Cortez III.
00:03:37Oh, Arnie fell in the pool today, and Stanley, who has never had to work a day in his life, hates it, wants to go home.
00:03:43If it wasn't his jeep, we would have left him in Texas or somewhere.
00:03:46Well, tomorrow most of the guests begin arriving, so we'll be quite busy.
00:03:50When will you be leaving for the Catskills?
00:03:53Well, I better go now.
00:03:54It's time for KP duty.
00:03:56Hi to dad and Sheila, and don't let her use my stereo.
00:03:59Love, Ricky.
00:04:01I hate that Cortez deterred.
00:04:03Hey, guys, are we going to get laid in this place or not?
00:04:11No, no, you are not going to get laid in this place.
00:04:19What an asshole.
00:04:21Don't they have some kind of machine to do this?
00:04:23Yeah, us.
00:04:25Yeah, we're cheaper than any machine.
00:04:26Damn stupider.
00:04:27What are we doing this for, anyway?
00:04:29I think we should split.
00:04:32Boys, boys, don't leave poor Chi-Chi alone.
00:04:38Chi-Chi is going to be very sad if you boys go.
00:04:41We're going to have a great time.
00:04:43We're going to have a great summer.
00:04:45Lots of fun.
00:04:47Dear Mom, just a quick note is I'm very busy.
00:04:49We almost all quit today, but the chef talked us into staying on.
00:04:53She is a very interesting lady and has quite a broad background.
00:04:58Holy shit!
00:04:59I'll write again soon.
00:05:01Love, Ricky.
00:05:02Welcome to the Hacienda Tropicana Cabana.
00:05:23Thank you, and I'll have a Wednesday.
00:05:26The Tropicana Cabana is a great place to have fun.
00:05:29If you're looking for fun.
00:05:32Are you married, ma'am?
00:05:34Just shut up.
00:05:35If you ever speak to me again, I'll report you to the management.
00:05:39I'm sorry.
00:05:40I told you never to speak to me again.
00:05:42Ever.
00:05:43I told you never to speak to me again.
00:05:46Ever.
00:05:46I can't believe she hit me.
00:05:52Who is it?
00:05:53It's room service.
00:05:55It's open.
00:05:56Come right in.
00:05:56Excuse me.
00:06:07Excuse me.
00:06:07Excuse me now.
00:06:09She always wanted me to be a musician.
00:06:11You are.
00:06:12You guys are doing me!
00:06:24I'll be right back.
00:06:26I'll be right back.
00:06:26I'll be right back.
00:06:28I'll be right back.
00:06:28I'll be right back.
00:06:29I told you so, Henry.
00:06:46Help.
00:06:48Dear Mom, poor Stanley, he got into trouble today.
00:06:52It seems as though he got lost with one of the hotel's richest guests.
00:06:55He dragged her back and forth all over the hotel trying to find a room.
00:06:59Well, you almost got fired.
00:07:01Let's see, what else happened?
00:07:02Oh, Jason got salogged, and I met a girl and rescued a rich German woman from drowning.
00:07:08How's Dad and Sheila?
00:07:09I received your letter today, and yes, I'm eating enough.
00:07:11No, none of us has the runs, and yes, I will keep writing.
00:07:14I guess that answers all your questions.
00:07:16Oh, the weather has been great.
00:07:18You know, some year you guys should come here instead of going to the Catskills.
00:07:21You'd probably love it.
00:07:22See you in September.
00:07:23Love, Ricky.
00:07:25I got your bags, lady.
00:07:27Well, what are you waiting for?
00:07:28Upstairs.
00:07:31Oh, shit.
00:07:39Room service.
00:07:41All right, uh, is this okay?
00:07:50Sure, anyway.
00:07:53Um, my name is, uh, Ricky Lieberman.
00:07:57If you need anything at all, please give me a call, and, uh, I can guarantee you the best possible service.
00:08:05I'm Allison Baxter.
00:08:07Okay.
00:08:08And I'll be sure to do just that.
00:08:10Okay.
00:08:15What are you doing here?
00:08:18Uh, he delivered the agua mineral, mother.
00:08:20And he's waiting for his tip?
00:08:22It's really not necessary.
00:08:24I always tip the service.
00:08:26Now, we'll change for 100 pesos.
00:08:29That's not even 50 cents, mother.
00:08:31Oh, all right.
00:08:32Keep it all.
00:08:33Thank you very much.
00:08:34I'll have you fired for this.
00:08:40Yeah!
00:08:51Where are we going?
00:08:54I said, where are you going?
00:08:56Am I allowed to speak?
00:08:58Don't be a wise guy.
00:08:59I think I took the wrong turn, and we have to go to the other side.
00:09:04All the way?
00:09:06All the way.
00:09:07Oh, good.
00:09:09Come in!
00:09:10Come in!
00:09:13Well, what's this?
00:09:16Champagne.
00:09:16Compliments of the management.
00:09:18Yeah, gracias.
00:09:20Sure.
00:09:21By the way, do they have a pharmacy here at the Tropicana Cabana?
00:09:25Well, no, ma'am, we don't.
00:09:27But we do have a gift shop.
00:09:28You can get most anything there.
00:09:30Yeah, do they sell contraceptives?
00:09:33I left my diaphragm at home.
00:09:36Henry, I'm going to go buy something.
00:09:38I'll meet you at the bar.
00:09:43Sir, you're back.
00:09:46Never mind you're back.
00:09:47I have other problems.
00:09:48How about a little babysitting for an hour or so?
00:09:52My granddaughter arrived a few minutes ago.
00:09:54We didn't expect her.
00:09:55What sort of a honeymoon can a man have with a child in the room?
00:10:00I don't know.
00:10:01I'm really not very good with children, sir.
00:10:05Keep the change.
00:10:07Hundred dollars?
00:10:08Thanks.
00:10:12Hope your back gets better.
00:10:14Little girl.
00:10:16Come on, where are you?
00:10:23Idiot!
00:10:24This is a ball ring!
00:10:26There are no rooms in a ball ring!
00:10:29Oh, God!
00:10:34I don't believe this.
00:10:36This is not happening.
00:10:37This is not happening.
00:10:39I suppose you want me to open the door for you.
00:10:46Hundred bucks.
00:10:48Little girl, where are you?
00:10:50You want to play hide-and-seek?
00:10:54Come on, little girl.
00:10:57Holy shit!
00:10:58Don, qué bueno.
00:11:19Welcome, welcome, welcome from La Embreguita.
00:11:22Long time no see.
00:11:24Buenos dÃas, señor.
00:11:26Esteban.
00:11:27Esteban Rodriguez-Cortez III at your service for La Embreguita.
00:11:34Herr Fritz, ¿dónde está?
00:11:35Oh, big business.
00:11:37He will join me already tomorrow.
00:11:41Boy!
00:11:43Oh, this is a very nice boy.
00:11:51Nice finger.
00:11:53Nice boy.
00:11:55Well, the crown.
00:11:57Oh, that's all.
00:12:01Thank you very much.
00:12:05Good girl.
00:12:12Good girl.
00:12:13My little friend.
00:12:14My little friend.
00:12:15Oh, my shit, sin.
00:12:34What have you done?
00:12:36Oh, Brigitta's toy.
00:12:38You like Brigitta's toys?
00:12:41Hmm?
00:12:42Brigitta has one that little boys love.
00:12:59I'll take care of your luggage, ma'am.
00:13:02I'll be a light pack, and I'll take care of you, shite sin.
00:13:07Other places you've been, other boys you've kissed.
00:13:13You've had lots of experience.
00:13:19Maybe I'm just another experiment.
00:13:25My mistake, I made big plans.
00:13:28I put my faith into your hands.
00:13:31I have my shirt.
00:13:32Help, help, honey, you're falling.
00:13:37Ma'am, where are you?
00:13:38Help, can you hear me calling?
00:13:41Help me!
00:13:42Help me!
00:13:44Help me!
00:13:45I'm drowning!
00:13:46Hey!
00:13:47I don't want to say you're getting me on.
00:13:49But I'll probably say just that after you're gone.
00:13:53Lennox Jason!
00:13:54You're not drowning.
00:13:55I can't do this.
00:13:56I'm going to get in trouble.
00:13:57Hey!
00:13:58Yes, you f***ing!
00:13:59No, I can't.
00:14:00I promise your loyalty.
00:14:01Don Pedro, how do we get to room 134?
00:14:02You see these stairs?
00:14:03You mean these right here?
00:14:04Yes, these right here.
00:14:05I mean, we have to go back.
00:14:06Where the f*** is my room?
00:14:07I'm sorry, senora.
00:14:08I picked up for these stairs.
00:14:09But you like to listen.
00:14:10I'm not drowning.
00:14:11I can't do this.
00:14:12I'm going to get in trouble.
00:14:13I can't do this.
00:14:14I'm going to get in trouble.
00:14:15Hey!
00:14:16Yes, you f***ing!
00:14:17Girl!
00:14:18I can't!
00:14:19I promise your loyalty.
00:14:20Don Pedro, how do we get to room 134?
00:14:21You see these stairs?
00:14:22You mean these right here?
00:14:23Yes, these right here.
00:14:27You stupid idiot!
00:14:29I cried one night in bed
00:14:31But you never noticed that my eyes were red
00:14:35Help, help, I think I'm falling
00:14:38Help, help, do you feel me falling?
00:14:40Oh, big party now!
00:14:42I think I'm falling now
00:14:45Oh no!
00:14:46Big party now!
00:14:48Help, help, I think I'm falling
00:14:50Help, help, do you feel me falling?
00:14:53Help, help, I think I'm falling now
00:14:56This is your thermostat.
00:14:57If you like it hotter or cooler, you turn the knob.
00:14:58Do you like it cold, or do you like it hot?
00:14:59Don't talk to me, you little s***.
00:15:00I have to say that.
00:15:01Besides, you let me talk to you before.
00:15:02Shut up!
00:15:03What did I say?
00:15:04Just get the hell out of here!
00:15:05Out!
00:15:06Wait!
00:15:07Wait!
00:15:08Come here.
00:15:09Come back here.
00:15:10I'm so sorry.
00:15:11I forgot your t***.
00:15:12You're kidding!
00:15:13Guys, it was the most exciting experience of my entire teenage life.
00:15:19Are you kidding us?
00:15:20Are you kidding us?
00:15:21Are you kidding us?
00:15:22No!
00:15:23I don't believe you!
00:15:24You know, all you guys are full of s***.
00:15:25First you tell us we're gonna have a great summer, and here we are working our asses
00:15:27off.
00:15:28Now Ricky would his lie.
00:15:29Yeah, no woman would do what you just told us.
00:15:31Come on, you guys.
00:15:32Do you want to get laid or not?
00:15:33Who is this chick, anyway?
00:15:34First, she's an older woman.
00:15:35Oh, great.
00:15:36How old?
00:15:3760 or 70?
00:15:38No, come on, you guys.
00:15:39Come on.
00:15:40She just wants to f***.
00:15:41That's all.
00:15:42She just wants to f***.
00:15:43How do you know?
00:15:44Because she nearly raped me.
00:15:45Oh, you guys.
00:15:46This place is full of crazy women.
00:15:47Do you realize I've already been beaten up today?
00:15:49I don't believe you.
00:15:50I don't believe you.
00:15:51I don't believe you.
00:15:52You know, all you guys are full of s***.
00:15:53First you tell us we're gonna have a great summer, and here we are working our asses off.
00:15:55Now Ricky would his lie.
00:15:56Yeah, no woman would do what you just told us.
00:15:57Come on, you guys.
00:15:58Do you want to get laid or not?
00:15:59Oh, you guys.
00:16:00This place is full of crazy women.
00:16:02Do you realize I've already been beaten up today by a woman twice?
00:16:06Oh, so you like to get beaten up?
00:16:08Don't hit me, you f***.
00:16:09Come on.
00:16:10Come on.
00:16:11Come on, you guys.
00:16:12Do you want to fight or do you want to f***?
00:16:13F***.
00:16:14I just want to f***.
00:16:15Sit down.
00:16:16Birgitta wants you to be comfortable.
00:16:20Now first, we get the schmolls.
00:16:26Hey man, she's dynamite.
00:16:31I don't care if she's kinky.
00:16:32You ain't seen nothing yet.
00:16:33Hey, are you sure she does it for free?
00:16:36Positive.
00:16:37She does it because she loves it.
00:16:38Oh, I get this bottle of schnapps from my boyfriend, Fritz Sturmführer.
00:16:44Oh, he's the terrible man.
00:16:47But sometimes he can be sweet like a poopsie and get me this bottle of schnapps.
00:16:55To love.
00:16:56To love.
00:16:57To love.
00:16:58Now, who is first to party with Fregitta?
00:17:10Oh, don't be shy.
00:17:12Go for it.
00:17:13She's waiting for you.
00:17:14You go for it.
00:17:15You're her little sh**tion.
00:17:16Come on, cut the sh**t.
00:17:17You saw how she looked at you when you walked in the door.
00:17:18He's right, go ahead.
00:17:19No, I'll go.
00:17:20No, no, no.
00:17:21Let's get Arnie to go.
00:17:22Yeah, let's make Arnie go.
00:17:23Oh, why?
00:17:24I don't want to get laid.
00:17:25Because he's the oldest.
00:17:26Yeah.
00:17:27I'm the oldest.
00:17:28Do you want to see my driver's license?
00:17:29Yeah, sure.
00:17:30I don't want to see your driver's license.
00:17:31Come on, you guys.
00:17:32You gave me so much shit about being scared.
00:17:33Now, what's with you?
00:17:34Who said I was scared?
00:17:35I'm not desperate.
00:17:36Lying.
00:17:37I'm waiting.
00:17:38She's waiting?
00:17:39Yeah.
00:17:40Come on, get up there.
00:17:41We'll be right behind you.
00:17:42I promise.
00:17:43We'll be right behind you.
00:17:44What the hell?
00:17:45Get out there.
00:17:46Go on, honey.
00:17:47I'm waiting.
00:17:48She's waiting?
00:17:49Yeah, come on.
00:17:50Get up there, honey.
00:17:52Come on.
00:17:53Go on.
00:17:54We'll be right behind you, I promise.
00:17:55We'll be right behind you.
00:17:56What the hell?
00:17:57Get out there.
00:17:58Go on, honey.
00:17:59I'm waiting.
00:18:00Why don't you do, girl?
00:18:01Why don't you do, girl?
00:18:02Why don't you do, girl?
00:18:12Why don't you do, girl?
00:18:13Why don't I do, girl?
00:18:14Because when the cat's away, the mouse really wants to play.
00:18:18Oh, my little boy.
00:18:22Oh.
00:18:23Oh.
00:18:25OK, great.
00:18:26Let's get ready.
00:18:27Come on.
00:18:28Yeah.
00:18:32Just leave your...
00:18:38Love is right.
00:18:40I can taste it in the night.
00:18:43I need lovers.
00:18:50I gotta go now.
00:18:51I gotta get back to work, man.
00:18:53Oh, mine, mine strudel boy.
00:18:56You stay.
00:18:58Forget the want to see your salami.
00:19:01No way, Arnie.
00:19:03You're not getting out of there.
00:19:05Oh.
00:19:07My little strudel want to play.
00:19:10No, I don't want to play.
00:19:12I want to make love, man.
00:19:13You know, screw, get laid.
00:19:15Oh, how boring.
00:19:17How American.
00:19:18I have the better idea.
00:19:21The party.
00:19:24My little schnooker.
00:19:26No!
00:19:27What is she doing to me?
00:19:28What is going in there?
00:19:30Aww.
00:19:32Oh, my gosh.
00:19:34Stanley, Stanley, get a...
00:19:36Get away from me.
00:19:37Oh.
00:19:38Ugh.
00:19:39Have you enjoyed that cracker?
00:19:40Guys, we should probably end the party.
00:19:41No way.
00:19:42Help.
00:19:43Help.
00:19:44Oh, menu.
00:19:45Stanley.
00:19:46Five, I can't see you, you fuckin' asshole.
00:19:48Oh, my God.
00:19:49Oh, my God.
00:19:50Oh, my God.
00:19:51Oh, my God.
00:19:52Oh, my God.
00:19:53Oh, my God.
00:19:54Oh, my God.
00:19:55Oh, my God.
00:19:56Oh, my God.
00:19:57Oh, my God.
00:19:58Yes!
00:19:59I'm becoming awesome.
00:20:01Oh, my God.
00:20:02Come for it, Ernie.
00:20:03Oh.
00:20:06Don Pedro.
00:20:07Don Pedro.
00:20:08Where the hell are they?
00:20:09Where are these American bellboys?
00:20:11How the hell should I know?
00:20:13Screwing the guests for all I know.
00:20:15I wish I were.
00:20:16Hey, pinches cabrones.
00:20:17Oh, Herr Fritz.
00:20:23Herr Fritz, Herr Fritz, Herr Fritz.
00:20:25Welcome, senor, to the Hacienda Tropicana Cabana.
00:20:28However, I did not expect to see you until tomorrow, senor.
00:20:31But I could not wait to see my little poopsie Brigitte.
00:20:34You know what I mean, Esteban, yeah?
00:20:36Si, senor.
00:20:37Si, senor.
00:20:38Si, senor.
00:20:39Si.
00:20:40And I am certain, senor Fraulein Brigitte will be very, very surprised to see you a day early.
00:20:44Come, senor.
00:20:45Let me show you to your room, huh?
00:20:46You have a room for Bruno?
00:20:47Herr Fritz?
00:20:48I am very sorry, senor.
00:20:49You did not reserve.
00:20:50We are full up.
00:20:51However, it is possible he can have my room, see?
00:20:53Never mind.
00:20:54Bruno will sleep in the car.
00:20:55Ja, Bruno?
00:20:56Well, take me to my sweet 500.
00:20:57That is where my little poopsie is, ja?
00:20:58Si, senor.
00:20:59Si.
00:21:00Emilio?
00:21:01Emilio?
00:21:02Emilio?
00:21:03Emilio?
00:21:04Emilio?
00:21:05Emilio?
00:21:06Emilio?
00:21:07Emilio?
00:21:08Emilio?
00:21:09Emilio?
00:21:10Emilio?
00:21:11Emilio?
00:21:13Emilio?
00:21:15Emilio?
00:21:17Emilio?
00:21:19Emilio Anna!
00:21:24I don't believe this.
00:21:26I didn't realize these things really happen in real life.
00:21:30Now, you be careful with this.
00:21:33It's my favorite outfit.
00:21:36It's an antique.
00:21:41Isn't her look stupid?
00:21:47Come on, you guys. This isn't funny anymore.
00:21:50Help me get out of these things.
00:22:02Duh!
00:22:07Wrong room?
00:22:09I'm sorry, senor.
00:22:12You!
00:22:13Is this what they teach when the cats kills?
00:22:15Again, you are fire!
00:22:17Ah!
00:22:18Where are you guys going?
00:22:20Ah!
00:22:21Help me!
00:22:22Y amor, es más que pesos.
00:22:26Quiero darle muchos besos.
00:22:30Pero el esposo lo va a poner un balazo.
00:22:33Oh!
00:22:34Oh!
00:22:36Oh!
00:22:38$5,000.
00:22:39Si, senor.
00:22:40Si, senor.
00:22:41It's sweet my home, sir.
00:22:42I'm very sure.
00:22:43Si!
00:22:44I recognize my child.
00:22:47But who are all these people?
00:22:49Uh, well, people, senor.
00:22:51I don't see no people here but you and me, sir.
00:22:55Okay, okay. Goodbye.
00:22:57Goodbye, sir. Have we had a wonderful
00:22:58stay at the Hacienda Tropicana Cabana, senor?
00:23:01Have a wonderful stay. Goodbye.
00:23:02If you have anything else, senor, please call me.
00:23:05Goodbye.
00:23:06Goodbye, senor. Adios.
00:23:09Get out!
00:23:11Adios.
00:23:11Riquita!
00:23:20Get out!
00:23:35Riquita!
00:23:41Oh, it's my labelling, my shot scene.
00:23:47Are you alone?
00:23:49Of course I am alone.
00:23:50But whom should I be?
00:23:52And why are you wearing your poopsie suit?
00:23:55Oh, am I?
00:23:56Oh, yes, poopsie.
00:23:59I'm wearing my poopsie suit for you.
00:24:01I was waiting for you.
00:24:03But I am coming only tomorrow.
00:24:06Oh, I know.
00:24:08So I wait, and I wait.
00:24:11And I wait.
00:24:13Hey, baby, how long are you going to keep me waiting?
00:24:18Who's he?
00:24:19Oh, my child.
00:24:21Vegeta!
00:24:22Prince!
00:24:26Prince, please don't kill him.
00:24:27Yeah, I didn't kill him.
00:24:29I didn't kill him.
00:24:30I didn't kill him.
00:24:30I didn't kill him.
00:24:31Don't kill him.
00:24:33Oh, Prince, don't kill him.
00:24:35She wanted my salami.
00:24:37She wanted my salami.
00:24:38Don't kill him, Prince.
00:24:39Oh, please, please, please.
00:24:41Oh, Prince, he's just a little explosive.
00:24:44My room service.
00:24:46Who is my mother?
00:24:47Vegeta, I love to be killed.
00:24:50I love it when you kill me.
00:24:52Oh, get up.
00:24:53But I kill your room service in the lobby.
00:24:57Then I come back.
00:25:00I kill you.
00:25:02Oh, yeah.
00:25:03Vegeta loves it when you kill her.
00:25:06Oh, yeah.
00:25:07Oh, yeah.
00:25:08Oh, yeah, Prince, yeah.
00:25:10Oh, kill me, kill me.
00:25:13Oh, yeah.
00:25:14Oh, oh, I'm becoming.
00:25:16Oh, I'm becoming.
00:25:18Oh, I'm becoming.
00:25:20Oh.
00:25:23I'm losing my shoulders, you guys.
00:25:25I can't hold on much longer.
00:25:27Well, what do you want to do?
00:25:27Jump?
00:25:28You'll get killed.
00:25:29Better than getting killed by that Hitler.
00:25:31It's almost dark, you guys.
00:25:32We'll sneak back in after he falls asleep.
00:25:34You think Arnie's still alive?
00:25:36Yeah, but Hitler hasn't made chap clever of him yet.
00:25:48He's done, senorita.
00:25:51Oh, piss off, will you?
00:25:54Just a minute, madame.
00:25:55I am looking for room service fat boy salami.
00:26:02Fat boy salami?
00:26:06Look, whatever it is you're looking for, it's obviously not here, is it?
00:26:11I think I find what I was looking for.
00:26:15Thank you, Fraulein.
00:26:16Goodbye, salami boy.
00:26:31That's it, Hitler killed him.
00:26:33Poor Arnie.
00:26:35He died just because he was trying to get laid.
00:26:39Life's really unfair.
00:26:41It is.
00:26:41My arms and hands are killing me.
00:26:44Come on, you guys, Arnie's not dead.
00:26:45Come on, let's get the hell out of here and try to find him.
00:27:08Who wants to swim, Brigitte?
00:27:12Oh, no.
00:27:17Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:27:20Who are you?
00:27:22We're the bell boys.
00:27:23From the hotel.
00:27:23You know, room service.
00:27:24Yeah, they bring me the schnapps.
00:27:27I bring the schnapps.
00:27:30Rouse, Rouse.
00:27:32I'm going to have to kill you again.
00:27:42Oh, yeah.
00:27:43Who wants to see you again?
00:27:56What are you doing?
00:27:58Oh, no.
00:27:58Oh, no.
00:27:59No.
00:28:01Chi chi chi, chile picante, chi chi chi, chile picante.
00:28:31Arnie! Arnie, come on, where are you?
00:28:39Arnie! Arnie!
00:28:41You guys, I'm going to go look in the bar.
00:28:47Arnie, are you in here?
00:28:50Hi, Mozart.
00:28:53Are you ready for another music lesson?
00:28:56Yeah.
00:29:01Arnie, come on.
00:29:31Oh, that's beautiful.
00:29:33Hey.
00:29:34Hey.
00:29:35No!
00:29:36This is my...
00:29:37Hey!
00:29:38Hey!
00:29:39Hey, let's go!
00:29:40What are you doing, Sia?
00:29:42Hey, you're a bitch!
00:29:44You're a bitch!
00:29:45Hey!
00:29:46You know what you are?
00:29:47You are a bitch!
00:29:48You fucking bitch!
00:29:49Hey!
00:29:50Hey!
00:29:51Hey!
00:29:52Hey!
00:29:53Hey!
00:29:54Hey!
00:29:55Hey!
00:29:56Hey!
00:29:57Hey!
00:29:58Hey!
00:29:59Hey!
00:30:00Hey!
00:30:01Hey!
00:30:02Hey!
00:30:03Hey!
00:30:04Hey!
00:30:05Hey!
00:30:06Hey!
00:30:07Hey!
00:30:08Hey!
00:30:09Hey!
00:30:10Hey!
00:30:11Hey!
00:30:12Hey!
00:30:13Hey!
00:30:14Hey!
00:30:15Hey!
00:30:16Hey!
00:30:17Hey!
00:30:18Hey!
00:30:19Hey!
00:30:20Hey!
00:30:21Hey!
00:30:22Hey!
00:30:23It's always Arnie go first.
00:30:37Make Arnie go.
00:30:39Why didn't they let Stanley go?
00:30:41He won't be Arnie first.
00:30:42Stanley, wait till I get out of here.
00:30:53Room service. Is anyone here?
00:30:56Out here.
00:30:58I have your tequila.
00:30:59Come out here.
00:31:20I have your tequila, ma'am.
00:31:22So bring it here.
00:31:24In the pool?
00:31:26Come out here.
00:31:29Okay.
00:31:44We'd better get back to looking for Arnie.
00:31:47I think he's really in trouble.
00:31:49I mean, he missed dinner.
00:31:51He looked just about everywhere.
00:31:52I think we ought to call the police or tell old Cortez the turd or something.
00:31:57Come on, you guys.
00:31:58Arnie will be okay.
00:32:00Really?
00:32:00Are you guys enjoying our vacation so far?
00:32:16Shove it, Ricky.
00:32:17Shove it, Ricky.
00:32:18Besides, the season's just got started.
00:32:21And some of us got laid already.
00:32:23Well, I didn't.
00:32:24But I did learn how to play the piccolo.
00:32:28But I did learn how to play the cello.
00:32:28Either of you had a music lesson?
00:32:30Yeah.
00:32:31Yeah.
00:32:32Yeah.
00:32:33Yeah.
00:32:34We played the piccolo.
00:32:35What do you think?
00:32:36What do you think?
00:32:37Damn.
00:32:38Why does everybody else get to fuck?
00:32:40Even Arnie got to fuck.
00:32:42What?
00:32:43No, I didn't.
00:32:44Arnie!
00:32:45I only got beaten.
00:32:46She's bananas.
00:32:47You look ridiculous.
00:32:52Take off those stupid chains.
00:32:54You got any ideas, Hal?
00:32:57Oh, God.
00:32:58No, you're not going to cook me.
00:32:59You don't know what I've just been through.
00:33:01I've been shot at by a Nazi.
00:33:03Locked in a dungeon with a skeleton.
00:33:06Attacked by vicious rat.
00:33:08Buried alive.
00:33:09You're not even going to cook me?
00:33:11It's okay, Arnie.
00:33:12We're just going to shrink your hands a little.
00:33:13Really?
00:33:14How do you know where to work?
00:33:15I know these things.
00:33:17My father's a dentist.
00:33:21It's starting to get hot, guys.
00:33:23Wait a minute.
00:33:24Doesn't heat make you swell up?
00:33:27Hey, Dad.
00:33:29The cold makes you shrink.
00:33:32Maybe we should freeze him.
00:33:33It's for your own good.
00:33:35You want to stay chained up for the rest of your life?
00:33:37Come on, guys.
00:33:38But we have to freeze you all over.
00:33:40Come on.
00:33:41Hey, where are you guys going?
00:33:42Stay with me.
00:33:43Are you kidding?
00:33:44It's freezing.
00:33:46Don't worry.
00:33:47Trust us.
00:33:48We know what we're doing.
00:33:54Come on, guys.
00:33:55Don't leave me here.
00:33:56Freeze to death.
00:33:57They hang you here like a side of beef.
00:34:11Chichi, we love you.
00:34:12Where'd you get that?
00:34:13It's my bus key.
00:34:15It opens everything.
00:34:17It's my buddy scene.
00:34:18It's my buddy scene.
00:34:20Dear Mom, I've been quite busy since my last postcard.
00:34:24A great deal has happened.
00:34:26I'm finding working in the hotel extremely stimulating.
00:34:29You meet varied and interesting people.
00:34:31Dying.
00:34:32You meet again soon.
00:34:33Look at those lads.
00:34:34Love Ricky.
00:34:35Those delts.
00:34:36Oh, deltoid city, man.
00:34:37Look at that butt.
00:34:38We're talking Gluteus Maximus.
00:34:39Isn't she the one who sucked you?
00:34:41I thought I asked you never to mention it.
00:34:42You know, at least Stanley's honest with us.
00:34:43He tells us when women hit him.
00:34:44Stanley's...
00:34:45You know, he's just...
00:34:46Stanley.
00:34:47I'm in love.
00:34:48This is some vacation.
00:34:49We're all getting beat up by women.
00:34:50You haven't got beat up yet.
00:34:51I was nearly drowned by a sex-crazed woman.
00:34:52Yeah, I forgot about that.
00:34:53Oh, deltoid city.
00:34:54Oh, deltoid city.
00:34:55Oh, deltoid city.
00:34:56Oh, deltoid city.
00:34:57Oh, deltoid city.
00:34:58Oh, deltoid city.
00:34:59Oh, deltoid city.
00:35:00Oh, deltoid city.
00:35:01Oh, deltoid city.
00:35:02Oh, deltoid city.
00:35:03Oh, deltoid city.
00:35:04Oh, deltoid city.
00:35:05You haven't got beat up yet.
00:35:07I was nearly drowned by a sex-crazed woman.
00:35:10Yeah, I forgot about that.
00:35:13I gotta have her.
00:35:16She's got the most incredible body I've ever seen in my life.
00:35:22And I've seen her naked.
00:35:24What about the mind, Jason?
00:35:26There's a person inside that body.
00:35:29Who gives a shit?
00:35:31It's your sex life fiction.
00:35:33Cause you live in the kitchen.
00:35:35And you're close in this rig every night.
00:35:38Ooh, hey, what's your body's telling you?
00:35:45It's time to go to the body.
00:35:50You've got the most incredible body ever seen in my life.
00:35:56Beat it.
00:36:01Hi.
00:36:02Oh, you're up early this morning, huh?
00:36:04Yeah, well, this is my vacation.
00:36:06I start work at seven.
00:36:07Oh, my God.
00:36:10But your friend over there sure moves fast.
00:36:13Yeah, he does.
00:36:15But see, not all guys are like him.
00:36:17Oh, yeah?
00:36:19What about you?
00:36:20What do you like?
00:36:22Oh, I don't know.
00:36:25I kind of like to get to know somebody first, you know?
00:36:29You see, I believe in kind of an exchange of energy between two human beings.
00:36:34You kind of get to know each other first.
00:36:36And then you move on to, well, to a more meaningful relationship.
00:36:41Oh, don't get so heavy.
00:36:44Summer.
00:36:46Female in theогress.
00:36:47Y gown the drag.
00:36:48Michael Blackberry.
00:36:49Apologies of fighting as girls.
00:36:50Oh,�미 зап화�ski.
00:36:52I'm good.
00:36:53I love it.
00:36:54Ooh, hell, she criminal save us the news.
00:36:55It's time you went to the body shop.
00:36:59тон that finger.
00:37:03Shake
00:37:04off that drug.
00:37:05Llack of bell, boys!
00:37:07No swimming!
00:37:08You're now here on Bocassion, you are here to work.
00:37:13Earth! Now out of the pool! You're on fire!
00:37:39Room service. Your bananas are here.
00:37:41It's open. Come in, bananas.
00:37:51What are you standing there for?
00:37:53Oh, please, give me a banana.
00:37:56Yes, ma'am.
00:38:06Would you peel me a banana, please?
00:38:09Yes, ma'am.
00:38:11Hello, my baby.
00:38:12You're a banana.
00:38:13I'm a banana.
00:38:14Yes, ma'am.
00:38:15Yes, ma'am.
00:38:16Oh, my God.
00:38:17Yes, ma'am.
00:38:18Yes, ma'am.
00:38:19Yes, ma'am.
00:38:21Place.
00:38:24Yes, ma'am.
00:38:25Oh, no. You're not going to believe this.
00:38:41Mark, Dad, you. What are you doing here?
00:38:43The Catskills can live without us.
00:38:46I know you'll be all dead hollied soon.
00:38:48We won't be a family again.
00:38:51Come on, Dad. Tell her she can't do this to me, really.
00:38:53I told her, I told her, I told her a hundred times.
00:38:56I said, Ricky is a young man now. He should have some freedom.
00:38:59All right, back to New York.
00:39:00We'll go back nowhere.
00:39:01No, I like it here better than the Catskills.
00:39:03Oh, I hate it here. I want to go to the Catskills.
00:39:07Stop your whining.
00:39:09Ma, Ma, you're leaving. You're leaving right now.
00:39:11All right. All right, you win, I know, and I'm not going to win.
00:39:15Oh, Ma, not again. All right.
00:39:16Ma, Ma, come on.
00:39:18Come on, Morton. We're leaving.
00:39:20I know, I know, and we're not wanted. You win.
00:39:23We're leaving now.
00:39:24No, we're not. We are staying.
00:39:30Ricky, I know what it's like to be a young boy in the summer.
00:39:33I was young once, too.
00:39:34I know, Ma. Have a good time. It's all right, Ma.
00:39:37You won't even know we're here.
00:39:39Come on, no, please.
00:39:40No, you're embarrassing me, Ma.
00:39:41Come on.
00:39:42Pretty soon, you'll be off the couch.
00:39:44I bet you're embarrassing me, Ma.
00:39:45You won't even know we're here.
00:39:47Ma, Ma, please.
00:39:47Welcome, welcome, welcome to the Hacienda Tropicana Cabana.
00:39:51Señora.
00:39:52Señor Esteban Rodriguez Cortés III at your service.
00:39:55Welcome, señor.
00:39:56Buenos dÃas.
00:39:56Buenos dÃas.
00:39:57Boys, why are you standing here?
00:39:59Help our distinguished guests with their valises.
00:40:01Here, boy.
00:40:02Take my bag.
00:40:03Take my bag.
00:40:33Here's what you're on, Andrew.
00:40:47Looking at you, too, kid.
00:40:49Grandma, don't drink too much.
00:40:52You might take advantage of it.
00:40:53I hope so.
00:40:54Ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:40:55I hope so.
00:41:21I hope everyone is enjoying that meal.
00:41:28And I hope you have enjoyed your first day at Tropicana Cabana.
00:41:32Yes.
00:41:35Are you enjoying yourself?
00:41:38Oh, I'm enjoying myself very much, Don Pedro.
00:41:40Oh, you know my name?
00:41:42Of course I know your name.
00:41:44I was wondering why everybody isn't out to dinner yet.
00:41:47It's getting late.
00:41:48I was missing, Dad. We're all here.
00:41:51No, I'm just wondering.
00:41:53Well, I am on duty tonight at the reception desk.
00:41:56Please, don't hesitate to call on me for anything.
00:42:04He reminds me of Fernando Lamas.
00:42:07Who's Fernando Lamas?
00:42:09He was married to Esther Williams.
00:42:11Who's Esther Williams?
00:42:12Eat.
00:42:18No, please, please, no more, no more.
00:42:20No, I'm no poopsie suit, my darling.
00:42:24Oi, where do you think you are going with the hot chilies?
00:42:27That Nazi tried to kill me.
00:42:29What do you do, make love to his wife?
00:42:31I tried.
00:42:33What?
00:42:35Who is mine hot chili?
00:42:39This is yours.
00:42:44Yeah, yeah.
00:42:46Mucho gusto, señor.
00:42:53Help!
00:42:54Help!
00:42:55The next one's to kill me.
00:42:57Hide me!
00:42:58SÃ, help me, sÃ.
00:42:59Meditating and freezing.
00:43:00Please, let's get rid of that.
00:43:02All right, Gigi will help you now.
00:43:06Thanks so much for giving Ricky the night off.
00:43:08He was a very good boy.
00:43:11He was a very good boy.
00:43:24Why are you standing up, Pop?
00:43:27Am I standing?
00:43:28Right there.
00:43:29Excuse me, this is table seven, isn't it?
00:43:34Sit down, sit down.
00:43:36Welcome.
00:43:37Well, thank you, but I'm afraid there's been some mistake in my table.
00:43:40I was supposed to get a single table.
00:43:42What, do you mind the company?
00:43:43I'm Morton Lieberman.
00:43:44Sit down, sit down.
00:43:46Eat.
00:43:46Enjoy.
00:43:47I'm Mrs. Lieberman.
00:43:51I'm Mrs. Victoria Stevenson.
00:43:53Where's your husband?
00:43:55Died?
00:43:56No.
00:43:58Divorced.
00:43:59Good!
00:44:02I mean, it's good that he, uh, he didn't die.
00:44:07That is a matter of opinion.
00:44:09This is my brother, Ricky.
00:44:13Ricky's going to City College in September.
00:44:15He's going to be a lawyer.
00:44:17Mother, mother.
00:44:19Stop selling your son.
00:44:20So what's wrong?
00:44:21Something wrong with wanting to be a lawyer all of a sudden?
00:44:23Daddy wants Ricky to take over the shoe store when he dies.
00:44:27What are you talking about dying?
00:44:28I'm young.
00:44:29I'm strong as a bull.
00:44:30Ha, ha, ha.
00:44:32What's wrong with the shoe store?
00:44:34It's in a good location.
00:44:35It's in a mall.
00:44:37What do you think, Mrs. Stevenson?
00:44:39Oh, I like shoes.
00:44:40Oh, I'm getting so sick.
00:44:42Oh.
00:44:42Pop, you want to change places?
00:44:48Yeah, yeah.
00:44:49Why not?
00:44:49Morton, stay where you are.
00:44:52What's wrong with the shoe store?
00:44:53Oh, I like this place.
00:44:58It's better than the Catskills.
00:45:00Excuse me.
00:45:01Where are you going?
00:45:03You should have gone to the bathroom before you sat down to eat.
00:45:05I'm not going to the bathroom, Mom, okay?
00:45:12Buenas noches, senorita.
00:45:13Buenas noches.
00:45:16Buenas noches.
00:45:18Thank God.
00:45:20You've been fired already?
00:45:22No, I'm...
00:45:23This is my evening off.
00:45:24I'm with my parents.
00:45:25Your parents work here, too?
00:45:27Uh, no, they're guests.
00:45:28It's very expensive to stay here.
00:45:30Can they afford it?
00:45:31Well, actually, they're thinking about buying the whole place for me for my wedding present.
00:45:35Oh, you're getting married.
00:45:37Well, I'm thinking about it.
00:45:42By the way, what business is your father in?
00:45:44He's in the shoe business.
00:45:46Oh.
00:45:48The shoe sales.
00:45:49Well, actually, we own 186 shoe stores.
00:45:52I'm sure you've heard of Lieberman Shoes.
00:45:54Lieberman Shoes?
00:45:55Allison, can I see you later?
00:45:57Yes.
00:45:58No, Allison has to go to bed early.
00:46:01Mom, we're on vacation.
00:46:02No, we're going to bed in half an hour.
00:46:04Mrs. Baxter, do you ever just cut loose and enjoy yourself?
00:46:07I do in my own way and with the right people.
00:46:10Besides, what I do is none of your business.
00:46:13Mom, please.
00:46:15I would assume that the employees of Tropicana Cabana are not allowed to fraternize with the guests.
00:46:25Do you mind?
00:46:26We are trying to finish our dinner.
00:46:27Lieberman Shoes.
00:46:37Sit down.
00:46:38Sit down.
00:46:38Shall we order some ice cream for dessert, darling?
00:46:55No.
00:46:57Waiter.
00:46:58Yes, ma'am.
00:46:58Please, get us some ice cream.
00:47:00What flavor?
00:47:01Ice cream.
00:47:03Okay.
00:47:04Chef Chichi, where are you?
00:47:18It's not fair.
00:47:20Everybody gets to get laid but me.
00:47:25When do I get to fuck?
00:47:30It's not the wrong with your leg.
00:47:58Yeah, Henry, I need a massage.
00:48:02Let's go upstairs and I'll massage you in there.
00:48:06And you'll massage my back like before.
00:48:08Yeah, come on.
00:48:10Let's give it a try.
00:48:12I think you've rinked too much.
00:48:14I'll be able to ride your horsey again tonight.
00:48:18You think you can do it again, Henry?
00:48:20I'll give it a try.
00:48:22Yoo-hoo!
00:48:23What are we waiting for?
00:48:25Let's go!
00:48:26This Mexican hot chili soup is delicious.
00:48:45It is delicious.
00:48:47It's deliciously hot.
00:48:49I like spicy soup.
00:48:50Not as good as my luxury soup, Ron Morton.
00:48:53Stop slurping.
00:48:56You're not slurping.
00:48:57It's hot.
00:48:57Don't talk back to me.
00:48:58You're slurping.
00:48:59I'm not slurping.
00:49:00Slurping.
00:49:02I'm not slurping.
00:49:31Martin, you're pouring wine all over the table.
00:49:38What wine?
00:49:47Come on, eat. Eat.
00:49:56Would you like some hot chilies?
00:49:58Yes, I would.
00:49:59Oh, my God.
00:50:06Your soup will get cold.
00:50:29Oh, my God.
00:50:38Oh, my God.
00:50:39What's going on here?
00:51:02Ricky's going crazy under the table.
00:51:04What did I do?
00:51:05You did very well, you pervert.
00:51:07Don't slap my son.
00:51:35Hi.
00:51:37Um, are you cold?
00:51:40Just a little.
00:51:49Okay, we'll warm you up.
00:51:56Did I embarrass you?
00:51:58Yeah.
00:51:59You embarrass the hell out of me.
00:52:00That's okay.
00:52:02I embarrassed myself.
00:52:04I've never done anything like this before.
00:52:06So I know all the girls tell you that.
00:52:08Yeah.
00:52:10No.
00:52:11It was kind of exciting.
00:52:12Yeah, for me too.
00:52:14Listen, I'll let you about it.
00:52:15I'm sorry about my mother.
00:52:18Go ahead.
00:52:19Okay.
00:52:20Uh, is your mother always that strict?
00:52:23Yes.
00:52:24I can't stand it much longer.
00:52:26In fact, I've decided that this summer I'm going to have an affair.
00:52:30I mean, after all, I'm almost a grown woman.
00:52:32And I just kind of happen to be in the right place at the right time, huh?
00:52:36Lucky for me.
00:52:36You know, somehow I kind of thought it was me that attracted you and not the circumstances.
00:52:43Oh, but you do attract me.
00:52:44That's what makes it easier.
00:52:46Listen, if it makes you feel any better, I've been saying the same thing every summer for the past four years.
00:52:51And this is the first time that I feel like, you know.
00:52:59I hope you know.
00:53:00Senor, thank you.
00:53:09Hi, I'd like my chiasse, 134, please.
00:53:13Si, senora.
00:53:13Oh, I left my lipstick in the dining room.
00:53:15I'll see you upstairs, Morton.
00:53:18Oh, no, no, I need some fresh air.
00:53:20Those hot chilies are laying right here.
00:53:22As a matter of fact, don't wait up for me.
00:53:25Go sleep.
00:53:26Fine, fine.
00:53:27Good night.
00:53:28Good night.
00:53:29Come on, Sheila.
00:53:29Good night.
00:53:36Hello, Don Pedro.
00:53:42Hello.
00:53:46Arnie, Chi-Chi.
00:53:47Oh, my God.
00:53:53Oh, my God.
00:53:55Arnie.
00:53:57Chi-Chi.
00:53:58Oh, my God.
00:54:01Oh, my God.
00:54:03I'm sorry, Arnie.
00:54:08Sheila, darling, why don't you go on in?
00:54:10I'm going to find your mother and join her for a breath of fresh air.
00:54:13Okay, Pop.
00:54:13Have fun.
00:54:14Ah.
00:54:15Good girl.
00:54:17Good night.
00:54:17Good night.
00:54:27Cheers.
00:54:35What?
00:54:35Come here.
00:54:36Ralph.
00:54:37Want to listen to me?
00:54:37Cheers.
00:54:37Oh, my God.
00:54:38Come here again.
00:54:42Cheers.
00:54:42Cheers.
00:54:43Cheers.
00:54:43Cheers.
00:54:44Cheers.
00:54:44Cheers.
00:54:44Mmm.
00:54:45Cheers.
00:54:45Cheers.
00:54:46å¾…' rhythm.
00:55:16Mr. Lieberman, Mr. Lieberman, Mr. Lieberman, come in here.
00:55:34Mr. Lieberman.
00:55:47Me?
00:55:49Yes.
00:55:50You, Mr. Lieberman.
00:55:52Why are you laughing?
00:56:02I see a music lesson in your future.
00:56:04But first, they're gonna dance for you.
00:56:20Don Pedro, I want you to know I have never done this before.
00:56:25You mean you have never drunk tequila before?
00:56:28No.
00:56:29I haven't cheated on my husband before.
00:56:32You drink this, and you won't know you're cheating on anybody.
00:56:37Okay.
00:56:39Salud.
00:56:39Delicious.
00:56:55I'm never gonna get laid.
00:56:58My whole life is a disaster.
00:57:00Nobody likes me.
00:57:02The guys don't even want me here.
00:57:05They've never wanted me here from the beginning.
00:57:08And the only reason they invited me is because I have a camera and a jeep.
00:57:12And they only like me because I'm the rich guy.
00:57:15I feel like shit.
00:57:17And I don't expect you to understand.
00:57:21And Arnie's always hating me.
00:57:23I hate you because I love you, Stanley.
00:57:24You're your best friend in the whole world.
00:57:41Stanley, if you have a problem, talk to me, not a horse.
00:57:44This is embarrassing.
00:57:46I don't understand why we have to work so hard and live in a stable.
00:57:50I just want to go home.
00:57:51You can't go home.
00:57:52You got the car.
00:57:53See, that's what I mean.
00:57:55I'm just kidding, Stanley.
00:57:56You know that.
00:57:58I don't understand what you're complaining about.
00:58:00We all like you.
00:58:02We don't want you just for your money.
00:58:04You're a fun guy to have around.
00:58:07Me, they just drag along because I'm a joke.
00:58:09No, you're not.
00:58:10Everybody likes you.
00:58:12Even the girl.
00:58:13You've got to be kidding.
00:58:15I'm just a fat clown that everybody makes fun of.
00:58:18I know they all joke about me behind my back.
00:58:22I know you do, too.
00:58:24You make fun of me.
00:58:26Well, I only do it because I love you, Arnie.
00:58:28You're my best friend.
00:58:30But I'm just jealous because you're getting laid and I'm not getting anything.
00:58:33I want to fuck.
00:58:35I just want to fuck.
00:58:37You really want to fuck?
00:58:40Okay.
00:58:40You know the bar by the pool?
00:58:42Yeah.
00:58:42Go to the bar and ask for a music lesson.
00:58:45What do I want with a music lesson?
00:58:48Believe me, you want a music lesson.
00:58:51Trust me.
00:58:51I'll wait for the days of the night
00:59:02I'll wait for the day
00:59:04I'll wait for the day
00:59:05I'll wait for the day
00:59:08I'll wait for the day
00:59:12Because the sun and his fruit
00:59:17To seek the forgetting
00:59:20Do you know my song?
00:59:38No, but I love it.
00:59:39Actually, it's a French love song.
00:59:42Really?
00:59:42I love French love songs.
00:59:43Do you know how to play any instruments?
00:59:47Well, I love the organ.
00:59:49And my mother always wanted me to take lessons.
00:59:52So, come over here.
00:59:54I will give you your first lesson free.
00:59:57Really?
00:59:58My mom would love that.
00:59:59Carlo, do you like my French love song?
01:00:15I love your French love song.
01:00:18You think you could play it?
01:00:21No, but if you show me where to start,
01:00:24I think I could play do, do, re, mi.
01:00:27Okay.
01:00:29Okay, good.
01:00:31Do, re, mi, fa, sol, la, ti.
01:00:41Do, do, do, do, do, re, mi, fa, sol, la, ti.
01:00:48Baby, take a look together.
01:00:50Do, do, do, re, mi, fa, sol, la, ti.
01:00:53The something that I forgot to know.
01:00:56Are you gonna take a chance with me?
01:01:00Do, re, mi, fa, sol, la, ti.
01:01:01Or just a game of stop and go?
01:01:03Do, re, mi, fa, sol, la, ti.
01:01:06Here you go, little lady.
01:01:07Oh, well, we can party in my room.
01:01:11Got some girls.
01:01:12Help the lady to go there first to bed.
01:01:14You crazy are cowards.
01:01:15They kill me.
01:01:16Come, salami boy.
01:01:19Do what the lady say, salami boy.
01:01:24Okay, let's go to bed.
01:01:25Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
01:01:27Oh, sweet.
01:01:29Ha, ha, ha.
01:01:36Ha, ha, ha, ha.
01:02:06Ricky, Ricky, are you asleep?
01:02:11Yeah.
01:02:14I like them sweet and young most of the time.
01:02:18Illegal kind that blows my mind.
01:02:22I'm afraid to ask, so I sneak a picture.
01:02:26Don't tell anyone.
01:02:28I know you say na, na, na, na.
01:02:32Yeah, yeah.
01:02:34Oh, yeah, yeah.
01:02:38Oh, oh, oh, yeah, oh, yeah, oh, no.
01:02:43Are you crazy?
01:02:44He wants to kill you.
01:02:45I don't want to die.
01:02:46Oh, nein, he's drunk.
01:02:50Oh, oh, oh.
01:02:51Do you remember when we were young?
01:02:54I know.
01:02:54Just do nothing left to hurt each other's pride
01:02:57You walked out the door like you'd done before
01:03:00I really thought you'd give it one more try
01:03:03But I was wrong
01:03:05Oh, so now
01:03:06You fell into another man's embrace
01:03:09Don't you know
01:03:11But if you're
01:03:12Losing you is something I can't face
01:03:16Excuse me
01:03:20Stanley?
01:03:23Arnie?
01:03:24I got late again, didn't I, Victoria?
01:03:27I'm on a roll
01:03:28Stanley, how many times have I told you not to talk?
01:03:34Stanley, I'm really happy for you
01:03:36I'm afraid I gotta go now
01:03:41This Hitler guy is still trying to kill me
01:03:43Bye
01:03:45Such a man
01:03:53But when our eyes meet
01:03:55On some side streets
01:03:57I can't believe that you won't know
01:03:59But if that's true
01:04:01Make sure you
01:04:02Don't you hold the Hitler?
01:04:04I won't let you break my heart again
01:04:06I'm mad enough
01:04:08To take your love
01:04:10But he's locked you up
01:04:11And blown up
01:04:12Excuse me
01:04:13But this Hitler's trying to kill me
01:04:15I won't let another guy push me away
01:04:19Chase!
01:04:24You want a tequila, Arnie?
01:04:40No, thank you
01:04:41Enjoy your evening, Mrs. Lieberman
01:04:43Always a nice boy comes from a good family
01:04:47Salud
01:04:48Salud
01:04:50Good evening, Bruno!
01:05:16Ah, good evening!
01:05:20It's a beautiful night, no?
01:05:22Yeah, it's a beautiful night
01:05:24The moon
01:05:27The star
01:05:30Would you like a cigar?
01:05:34No, danke
01:05:35Bruno
01:05:38Do you have a light?
01:05:41No, but I have a fire
01:05:43Come inside, huh?
01:06:08Where's it going?
01:06:17Hey, a solar
01:06:24Mother
01:06:26See you
01:06:28Bye
01:06:30Bye
01:06:31Bye
01:06:32Hi
01:06:33Bye
01:06:34Bye
01:06:35Bye
01:06:35Bye
01:06:36Bye
01:06:36Bye
01:06:36Bye
01:06:37Bye
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