How Dare You Be Intimate With A Scumbag
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Short filmTranscript
00:01What do you mean you have to go on another business trip?
00:04Aren't we supposed to go shopping together so we could spend time like an actual married couple?
00:09First of all, babe, lower your voice when you're talking to me.
00:15Second of all, if I spent all my time dilly-dallying with you,
00:19then how would we be able to afford all these luxuries and fancy cars?
00:25Not to mention your outrageous spending habits.
00:29Three hundred thousand in one day.
00:34It's my father's money, isn't it?
00:37What did you just say?
00:38Nothing.
00:43Okay, my love, I have to go now.
00:46But first, I have a surprise for you.
00:50A surprise?
00:52I got you a new chauffeur.
00:56A chauffeur?
00:58Yes, a chauffeur to drive you around and take you on as many shopping sprees as you wish.
01:05All I ask is that you abide by the rules.
01:10You do remember what the rules are, don't you? Because I don't like to repeat myself. You know that.
01:18I know the rules. No overspending.
01:23Mmmmm.
01:24Mmmmm.
01:25Mmmmm.
01:26Great.
01:27Now, my love, come give daddy a hug.
01:29When are you gonna be back?
01:30I'll be back in about three days.
01:34Just keep yourself safe until then, okay?
01:35Oh.
01:36And of course, my estate.
01:37Haha.
01:38Haha.
01:39What is it, my love?
01:40Oh.
01:41And of course, my estate.
01:42Haha.
01:43What is it, my love?
01:44I'm gonna miss you.
01:45Hmm.
01:46I'll miss you too.
01:47I'll miss you too.
01:48Make sure nothing funny happens whilst I'm away.
01:51I'm gonna miss you too.
01:52Oh.
01:53How are you gonna be back?
01:54I'm gonna be back in about three days.
01:56Just keep yourself safe until then, okay?
01:59Oh.
02:00And of course, my estate.
02:03Haha.
02:04What is it, my love?
02:09I'm gonna miss you.
02:11Hmm.
02:12I'll miss you too.
02:13Make sure nothing funny happens whilst I'm away.
02:17Henry, right?
02:18Yes, sir.
02:19Henry Jackson.
02:20I have your service.
02:21Well, you won't actually be at my service.
02:22You'll be at the service of my wife.
02:23At least until I return from my business trip.
02:24As you wish.
02:25I'm here to serve you as you please.
02:27Let me just say, sir, I'm very honored to finally meet you.
02:28I've heard great things about you.
02:29Hmm.
02:30All good things, I hope.
02:31Oh, yes, sir.
02:32Great, great, great things about your kindness and all your philanthropic exploits.
02:45Cut the crap.
02:46If anything happens to my beloved whilst I'm away, I'll have your balls hanging from the
03:02ceiling before noon.
03:04I'm just kidding around, man.
03:11Just loosen up a little bit.
03:14But seriously, protect her with your life.
03:19Yes, sir, don't worry.
03:20I've been in this industry for ten years.
03:22She's in good hands.
03:28Maybe this is a bad idea after all.
03:30No, no, no.
03:31The money is too good.
03:32I can't pass it up.
03:34Who else is willing to pay me so much just to drive a car?
03:40You fucker!
03:41Fucking do this to me!
03:45We're just standing there.
03:47Get my bags and go bring the car.
03:49Oh, sorry, ma'am.
03:50I didn't know you were ready to go.
03:51Maybe if you weren't just standing here like a brick wall, you would have noticed.
03:54It's not rocket science.
03:56Yeah, you're right.
03:58Hey!
03:59What the fuck are you doing?
04:01This is a $15,000 bag.
04:05Of course, you don't know this.
04:07But you can't just carry it around the way you want to with your freaking big hands.
04:19God, where does my husband keep bringing you from?
04:25Yeah, absolutely, ma'am.
04:27It won't happen again.
04:28I should carry your luxury bags more carefully.
04:32Car's this way.
04:33Car's this way.
04:34Car's this way.
04:40Who does this little brat think she is?
04:41She saw me standing here with the door open and she just stops.
04:45Is she trying to get her eyes out of me?
04:46Is she trying to get her eyes out of me?
04:47Is she trying to get her eyes out of me?
04:48Is she trying to get her eyes out of me?
04:49Is she trying to get her eyes out of me?
04:50Is she trying to get her eyes out of me?
04:51Is she trying to get her eyes out of me?
04:52Is she trying to get her eyes out of me?
04:53Is she trying to get her eyes out of me?
04:54Is she trying to get her eyes out of me?
04:59Is she trying to get her eyes out of me?
05:00Is she trying to get her eyes out of me?
05:01Is she trying to get her eyes out of me?
05:06Is she trying to get her eyes out of me?
05:30Let me introduce myself.
05:31I'm Henry Jackson.
05:33What did you just say to me?
05:37Oh, I was just introducing myself.
05:40I felt like we got off on the wrong foot there and I just want to make a good first impression.
05:46Now listen to me, whatever the fuck your name is.
05:50It's Henry.
05:52I don't know what you think this is, but it's not it.
05:57I couldn't care less about getting to know you or having any kind of conversation with you.
06:03You're just my driver.
06:06You're supposed to be the invisible and, most importantly, the quiet thing that takes me places.
06:13Now do your job or you'll get yourself fired like the 10 others before you this month alone.
06:21You got that?
06:22Did you hear me or are you deaf as well?
06:30Yeah.
06:32Heard you loud and clear.
06:33No small talk.
06:35Good boy.
06:37Relax, Henry.
06:39You've dealt with difficult people before.
06:42Just play it cool.
06:44Oh my god, is that Louis Armstrong?
06:52Yeah, you like him?
06:54He's one of my favorite jazz artists of all time.
06:57I really love his song.
06:58I fucking hate Louis Armstrong.
07:01What kind of crap is that?
07:03I only know him because my father used to play him all the time.
07:07I really can't stand this kind of music.
07:10Do you have something that actually sounds good like Stormzy or Burnaboy?
07:15If I listen to this crap again, I'm just going to puke all over.
07:18Watch out!
07:19What the fuck?
07:23You're so fired.
07:25Look what you've done.
07:30It's my dress.
07:31You've ruined it, you buffoon.
07:33I'm so sorry, Mrs. Cardoso.
07:37I just took my eyes off the road for a split second and then it...
07:42Listen, you can take it off my paycheck, okay?
07:46Your paycheck?
07:47Your paycheck?
07:48Do you have any idea how much this dress costs?
07:52It was made by one of the top designers in the country.
07:55Even your yearly salary would not be able to cover it.
07:58Again, I'm so sorry, Mrs. Cardoso.
08:02What am I supposed to do with your sorry?
08:05Am I supposed to go out like this?
08:08Try it out like that?
08:10I can't believe in someone else.
08:11My headache and mortgage might work.
08:20My headache…
08:22Bro, what's up?
08:22How you doing?
08:27Yeah.
08:29I'm gonna scare two now.
08:34Bro, what's up? How you doing?
08:37Hey, Vic. I'm doing good. How you doing?
08:41Ah, you know me. I'm fresh, bro. I just called to check up on you. First day on the job, huh? How's it going?
08:47Yeah, I'm not gonna lie to you. It's not going great. It ain't working out the way I thought it would.
08:55Heh. You didn't get fired already, did you? Did you?
09:00Nah, nah, nothing like that, but I am walking on thin ice.
09:07Man, this bitch, she just has it out for me. Ever since I started, she just has been on my neck, you know?
09:16Bitch? What bitch? You mean you're not driving the boss?
09:21No. Why? Is that a problem?
09:27Hello?
09:30Victor.
09:34Sorry, bro. I was just a bit distracted by something. No, nothing's wrong. I just thought you were employed to drive the boss personally?
09:42Nah, he had to take a last-minute business trip and fly out, so I'm stuck just driving his wife around.
09:51You don't happen to know what time he left or where he was going, do you?
09:57Bro, how would I know all that? I'm a driver. It's my first day.
10:01Yeah, yeah, you're right. My bad. Forgive me. I just thought you might have heard something by virtue of being in the same space with him. That's all.
10:09Right. Why would you want to know all that anyways?
10:15Uh, no particular reason. Just that I had a business meeting with him this morning, and I was supposed to come see him. So where's Ms. Cardoso now?
10:27Oh, she's in some luxury store buying some new gown or something.
10:33What exactly did you do to get her so pissed off at you? She could easily get you fired, you know?
10:39Bro, I literally did nothing. I mean, yeah, sure, I kind of spilled her drink on her, and I almost hit a car, but I mean, who doesn't like Louis Armstrong, you know what I mean?
10:52This brat, she just has it out for me, you know?
10:57Whom are you calling it, Brad?
11:04Whom are you calling it, Brad?
11:06Oh, Ms. Cardoso, I, um...
11:09Um, what's the matter? Kick out of your tongue? It's a simple question. Whom are you calling a brat?
11:14Sorry, I didn't see your approach. I would have even helped you with your bags.
11:17It's not what I asked.
11:19Yeah, right. Uh, I was talking to my mother about my little sister, and she just has a way of getting at me, you know?
11:27No, I don't know. But you can do that all in your free time. I'm not paying you to answer calls.
11:32Yes, of course.
11:35I hope you don't mind me sane, but this dress looks beautiful on you.
11:40Is this why you're not opening the door for me and still let me carry all this?
11:44Right, right, right. Please forgive me. Please forgive me. Here.
11:47What's wrong, my dear? By the long face?
12:02Nothing. I was just thinking about this new bag I saw.
12:07New bag. Is that all you ever think about? You know, sometimes I think I spoil you too much, and then other times I think I don't spoil you enough. It's difficult to decide.
12:26Can I be the latter one? I really need a new car.
12:39A new car?
12:42A new car?
12:43Yeah, something fast and with bright colors.
12:47I just bought you one two weeks ago and now you want a new one? What's wrong with it?
12:53Well, I just don't feel like that other car really fits my elegance. I need something that really exceeds power.
13:02Oh, this is the same speech you gave me last time. That made you buy one.
13:07Please, my love, please.
13:11Alright. Well, your birthday's coming up. I can buy you one for your birthday.
13:17Thank you, thank you, thank you.
13:21Anything for you, ma'am.
13:24But enough about cars. How about that new chauffeur? Henry, right? Is he up to our standards?
13:36I don't know. He's a bit of a nod on that one. I did everything you showed me, but it didn't work. He didn't budge.
13:45I don't think he's a spy. At least not for now.
13:51Hmm. Well then, I guess we'll just have to move on to the second phase of our plan.
14:09You mind explaining to me why were you late? I told you I had a business appointment. I needed to leave immediately.
14:15I'm sorry, Ms. Cardoso. I was told that I'd be driving Mr. Cardoso today. I had no idea that you would be waiting-
14:20So, because of a slight change of plans, you'd want me to be late for my business meeting?
14:24No, no. Of course not. I'll get you there on time. I assure you.
14:27If this happens again, you're getting fired.
14:31Excuse me.
14:33Please, forgive me.
14:34Forgive me.
14:52Where to, ma'am?
14:54Downtown. He's already waiting.
14:55Why are we slowing down?
15:08Ma'am, there seems to be heavy traffic up ahead. We're going to have to find another way.
15:14Just head south. It's shorter.
15:17Actually, no, a shortcut. We'll get there a lot quicker.
15:21Um, what? This is unacceptable. I told you where to go. You have to follow my instructions.
15:28I understand, ma'am, but this is a shorter way. You'll be there a lot quicker and on time.
15:32Unbelievable! I told you where to go. Where the fuck are you taking me?
15:37Such a disregard for authority. Are you going to kidnap me? Is that it?
15:40Are you going to take me to some fucking secret head out of yours?
15:42My husband's going to find you and after he does, my father's going to skin you alive.
15:47You're going to rue the day.
15:51We're here.
15:57What is your mission here, Amy Anderson?
16:00My mission? I'm just here to do my job.
16:03You know, I didn't think you'd stoop this low. I trusted you.
16:05I had a plan B.
16:08Plan B.
16:11I feel so good.
16:14May I get some help, please?
16:20They're all terrible people.
16:23They would act nice just to get your trust.
16:26They'll turn against their own just to get you on their side.
16:31But deep down, you know they have an agenda.
16:35And it's not in your favour.
16:38Don't forget!
16:40I'm saying my head hurts and I need to dig.
16:43She's beautiful.
16:45Mother, it took you long enough.
16:47We'll wait for her to leave, then we go.
16:51All the food's been poisoned.
16:53We found cancer in your blood.
16:57We need to finish what we started.
17:00You won't poison me, would you?
17:03They've been trying to kill you!
17:05She paid me to poison you.
17:07One day, you will forgive her.
17:09And you'll forgive me too.
17:11Mia, what is wrong with you?
17:12What's wrong with me?
17:14You're the one with the disease.
17:16I think if anyone should be leaving, it's you.
17:19Fine.
17:20I'll stay out of your way.
17:21I'll do my job and I'll leave as soon as you're better.
17:24He's gonna have a good life.
17:26Then you'd kill him.
17:28I'm gonna kill you.
17:32Can't believe we're moving in together.
17:36What?
17:38I've just been thinking and I'm having second thoughts.
17:42If I move in with you, your entire family's just gonna hate me even more.
17:45I told you not to worry about them, okay? They're just jealous.
17:48Exactly.
17:49David, I haven't had anything like this in my entire life.
17:52I'm just a girl from a humble background.
17:54Oh, come on Mia, it's not that bad.
17:56Your entire family thinks I'm a gold digger.
17:58I told you not to worry about them.
18:00Promise?
18:01I always keep my promises.
18:07Yeah.
18:09I guess.
18:11They're just gonna have to accept me as they're soon to be in war.
18:15But you know, I don't blame them.
18:17Because if I was your mother, I wouldn't like me either.
18:19You are one of the richest bachelors in town.
18:23Stop.
18:25Well, I must go, but I'm gonna be getting picked up tomorrow.
18:29So make sure you have everything ready, okay?
18:32I can't wait for tomorrow.
18:34I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you.
18:36I can't wait to be in your life for good.
18:41Surprise!
18:43Wow.
18:44I know it's not much, but it comes from the heart.
18:49So I hope it makes you happy.
18:51Oh, you make me so happy, David.
18:54I love it. Thank you.
18:56Well, welcome to your new home, man.
19:00Look, people hate to see us together, okay?
19:03But we'll prove more wrong.
19:05Alright?
19:06Siblings, my friends, my mother.
19:14What are you doing here?
19:16Mind your manners.
19:18I'm in my son's house.
19:20Who let you in?
19:22Well, while you two lovebirds were in here,
19:24someone left the door unlocked, so I let myself in.
19:26Yeah, well, it's my house.
19:27You could have at least not, alright?
19:28We're having a private moment.
19:30Oh, I'm sorry.
19:31Am I being chastised?
19:33I'm sorry.
19:34I'm sorry.
19:35Am I being chastised?
19:37I'm sorry.
19:38I'm sorry.
19:39I'm sorry.
19:40I'm sorry.
19:41I'm sorry.
19:42I'm sorry.
19:43Am I being chastised for worrying there's an intruder in my son's house?
19:47Intruder?
19:48There's no intruder.
19:50Disappoint me as usual.
19:52Well, hello, Mrs. Clark.
19:55We knew I smelled gold digger in here.
19:58Mother!
20:00With all due respect, ma'am, you're not talking to me.
20:04How dare you!
20:05What are you doing?
20:06I can't let you do that.
20:07You need a stranger insult your own mother.
20:08When are you going to acknowledge that I love her?
20:09Becky, give us a moment, please.
20:10Wow.
20:11You used to care about my happiness.
20:12And I still do.
20:13You know, I support you in anything.
20:14There's just something odd about that lady.
20:15What, because she doesn't come from wealth?
20:16No.
20:17I can't let you do that.
20:18I can't let you do that.
20:19I can't let you do that.
20:20You need a stranger insult your own mother.
20:21When are you going to acknowledge that I love her?
20:22I can't let you do that.
20:23You need a stranger insult your own mother.
20:24When are you going to acknowledge that I love her?
20:26What?
20:27Why?
20:28Why would you do that?
20:29Why do we need to come to my baby baby baby?
20:31You used to care about my happiness.
20:34And I still do.
20:35You know I support you in anything.
20:37There's just something odd about that lady.
20:40What, because she doesn't come from wealth?
20:42No, that's not it.
20:43Really?
20:44Remember where you came from before Father picked you up and made you who you are today?
20:48Don't you dare-
20:56I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me. I just get really angry sometimes, especially since your father died so suddenly.
21:07I understand why you're so protective, Mum. Okay, but I'm sure you've got nothing to worry about.
21:12My instincts are never wrong. And every time I see that lady, I get a really bad feeling. You must listen to me.
21:20Okay. Well, I was going to tell you something, but I didn't know when to tell you because I knew you were going to freak out.
21:27You can tell me anything. I won't get mad.
21:31Okay. Well, me and I are engaged and we're looking to get married.
21:38What?
21:39Well, I didn't know when to tell you. I didn't know when the perfect time was.
21:42David Clark, you are losing your mind.
21:45You can never marry that lady.
21:54I can't let you dig your own grave. Unless you don't want me to break all contact with you, you must stop seeing her at once and cancel any wedding plans you all do not.
22:05That's impossible, Mrs Clark.
22:08That's impossible, Mother. Okay, me and I are going to be together forever and nothing you say or do can stop that.
22:13What? You would defy your mother over a stranger. Choose to marry her and you will savour all ties with me.
22:20Excuse me?
22:21Your mother or that gold dealer?
22:24Mother, you can't do this.
22:25Yes, I can. It's the only way.
22:28Well, if it's the only way, then that leaves me no choice. Me and I are going to be together forever.
22:33I should have seen this coming. She's got you wrapped around her finger and it's so pathetic.
22:38Anyways, I'll be off now. Don't call me for help. And she shows her true intentions.
22:44Oh, please. Don't tell me you weren't eavesdropping this whole time.
22:57But I wasn't.
22:59Huh. Sure. Well, you can have my son for now. Until he comes to his senses and realises what a gold-digging skank you are.
23:09Mother!
23:10Mother!
23:10Mother!
23:14Mother! I think you should leave.
23:19One day you'll understand what I'm warning you now. Just pray it's not too late before you lose something valuable.
23:33I'm so sorry about that. Don't let her get to you, okay? She's just going to do some things.
23:38It's fine. Honestly, I've been caught a lot worse.
23:40Look, when we're married, no one's going to bother us. Okay? Not even my mother.
23:44Oh, that sounds wonderful. And you know, all I want is a happy family. But in the meantime, is she okay? Where is she going?
23:54Oh, no. She's... She just dropped by. She's got to leave town to handle some business.
23:59Are you okay? I don't want to come between you and your mother.
24:02No, I mean, it's not like that at all. She's just... She's just overprotective.
24:06But why? You're a grown man. You can take care of yourself.
24:11Well, yeah, apparently she doesn't think so. And I don't blame her, considering what happened to my father.
24:16I know. But why does that matter?
24:21Well, as you know, my father died.
24:24Well... Car crash. I know you told me.
24:30Yeah, but, um...
24:32He actually died before the crash.
24:36Heart attack?
24:38No, um...
24:41Autopsy results showed that he was poisoned.
24:44That's awful. Who would do such a thing?
24:48Well, other things was one of his side chicks.
24:53What?
24:54My... My father had this thing with the ladies, and I guess that was his undoing.
25:01So you think the woman who killed your father, they were sleeping together?
25:07Yes.
25:09Okay, but what has that got to do with me?
25:14Mother thinks she's seen your own father.
25:16What? What would I have to do with your father?
25:27Look, you don't have to defend yourself.
25:30Mia, come on. You've only been here like what, a year?
25:34Yeah, well, my father died two years ago.
25:36And it has absolutely nothing to do with you.
25:38Do all your siblings suspect me?
25:41Oh, babe. It doesn't matter.
25:42That's the thing, David. It does matter.
25:44It matters to me.
25:46Look, my family, they try and challenge me, but they can't.
25:49So in turn, they take it out on you.
25:52I have to make peace with them.
25:55I have to make peace with them.
25:56Because then if I get your mother to like me, you know, she'll start trusting me.
26:02And then all your siblings will follow.
26:04And then they'll finally see me as their-in-law.
26:06Are you done?
26:10Are you finally listening to me?
26:12There has to be a way.
26:13The only way is to be yourself.
26:16Okay, then they'll stop and we'll be all behind us.
26:19Are you sure?
26:21Whenever I ever let you down.
26:23What happens if we don't end up together?
26:25You know, what happens then?
26:26Promise.
26:27I'll be fine.
26:29Promise?
26:31Promise.
26:32I never broke promise.
26:36I've been meaning to ask you.
26:48Ask me what?
26:49Why do you live here all alone?
26:52I'll have you now.
26:54Please be serious.
26:57A bit sceptical about hiring strangers.
26:58I mean, they could be dangerous.
27:01What?
27:02Most of them are actually just trying to make an honest living.
27:04Yeah, well, there's opportunities elsewhere.
27:08I'm sure you're changing the mind.
27:11Maybe I will.
27:14We need a mate.
27:16Really?
27:19These hands aren't going to be doing the work.
27:22I think we'll be fine.
27:23So, we could use someone else to help out?
27:33I'm not sure.
27:34I know a reliable agency that can help.
27:38You seem to be in a rush.
27:39I'm just lazy, honey.
27:40I'm just lazy.
27:52I'm just lazy.
27:53Whoa!
27:53Who are you?
27:54What are you doing here?
27:57What's with the knife?
27:58One question at a time, please.
28:01My name is Sarah.
28:03I work here.
28:05And I'm making breakfast.
28:06You must be Mr. David Clarke.
28:11Yes, so put the knife down.
28:17Pleased to be hired. I look forward to working with you.
28:21Excuse me?
28:23I see that you've met Sarah.
28:27Put the knife down, Sarah.
28:30You know her?
28:32Of course I do, honey. She's our new maid.
28:36I don't recall that. Don't gaslight me.
28:39What? Gaslight you?
28:43Sarah, could you please give us a moment?
28:49Babe, what the hell?
28:51I didn't agree to this. I don't like her. She freaks me out.
28:55Freaks you out? What's so scary about her?
28:57She's an old lady trying to make a living.
28:59I don't trust her.
29:01Do you know how you sound like? You sound like your mother.
29:04Just because Sarah is downtrodden doesn't mean she's trying to take your life.
29:08Honey, I didn't say that.
29:10You know, the agency I contacted, they vouched for Sarah.
29:13She's very good at what she does.
29:15I'm sure she is.
29:16So she can stay?
29:18I didn't say that either.
29:19I'm sorry, Mia. But no.
29:34No. Really?
29:36Yes. I mean, I don't know anything about her.
29:39So you don't trust my judgement?
29:40Oh, Jesus.
29:41You don't trust me or what I'm saying?
29:43That's not what I'm saying.
29:44What are you saying, David?
29:46I'm saying my head hurts and I need to think.
30:00Hmm.
30:02What? This is amazing. It's great.
30:05No kidding. Sarah made it.
30:07Well, it's not that right.
30:14You can compliment the cooking without complimenting the chef.
30:25Where is she?
30:27Oh, well, she left.
30:29She's not allowed to live here.
30:31Remember.
30:32Remember.