The Baby Snooks Show was an American radio program starring comedian and Ziegfeld Follies alumna Fanny Brice as a mischievous young girl who was 40 years younger than the actress who played her when she first went on the air.
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00:00And now, ladies and gentlemen, here's Fanny Bryce as Baby Snooks.
00:07Summer has just about arrived and Daddy, played by Hanley Stafford, figures the weather is warm enough for the beach.
00:13Of course, he didn't figure on taking Snooks with him.
00:16So we find them both on the sand enjoying the ocean. Listen.
00:20Ah, what a pleasure. Breathe deeply, Snooks. Fill your lungs with the fresh ozone.
00:26Let's go swimming, Daddy.
00:28I told you we'll go swimming soon.
00:30Right now, I want to rest.
00:31Can you swim, Daddy?
00:33Can I swim? Huh. I'm just about the best swim in the world, that's all.
00:38Do you know when I was in Atlantic City, I swam the whole length of the boardwalk on my back?
00:42You swam the boardwalk?
00:43The entire length.
00:45Did you get any splinters?
00:46No, I didn't get any splinters.
00:51I mean, I swam in the water along the boardwalk.
00:54Now, I want to lie quietly for a few minutes.
00:56So you go play with your pail and shovel.
00:58All right.
00:58Daddy?
01:00Yes?
01:01I want to see the mermaid.
01:03Well, there's no such thing as mermaids.
01:05Why?
01:06Well, because there isn't.
01:08A mermaid is a legendary figure that's supposed to be half woman and half fish.
01:12It's a myth.
01:13Is that a weight to hold in a bathing suit?
01:17Eight holes in my bathing suit?
01:19I said it was a myth.
01:20Don't you know what a myth is?
01:22It's a Lady Moth, ain't it?
01:25No, it's not a Lady Moth.
01:27And stop shoveling that sand in my mouth.
01:29Miss Moth, Moth, Moth.
01:30I want to go swimming.
01:32Snokes.
01:33I'll take you in the water if you let me rest a little while.
01:36How long?
01:37Until the waves recede a little.
01:39Now, just play and don't bother me or ask me any more questions.
01:41All right.
01:43Daddy!
01:44Oh, what?
01:45What makes the water go away like that?
01:48The tide.
01:49Who tied it?
01:51Nobody tied it.
01:52I said tide, not tide.
01:54Huh?
01:55The rise and fall of the tide.
01:57It's caused by the moon attracting every particle of the earth and the ocean.
02:00And by the law of gravitation,
02:01the force acting on any particle is directed toward the moon's center.
02:05And it's jointly proportional to the masses of the particle in the moon.
02:08And inversely proportional to the square of the distance
02:10between the particle in the moon's center.
02:12You feel swell, don't you, Daddy?
02:14Yes, I feel fine.
02:18Well, I suppose I'd better make it a little simpler for you.
02:21Now, suppose I were to lay two eggs right here.
02:26What are you laughing at?
02:27I don't believe you can do it.
02:30Oh, forget it.
02:31Go on and build a sandcastle.
02:33Shall I put flags in it?
02:34Yes, put flags in it.
02:36I don't like flags.
02:37All right, then don't put flags in it.
02:39All right.
02:39Oh, I don't know.
02:40Do what you like.
02:41All right.
02:43Oh, Snokes.
02:44Why are you throwing that sand down my neck?
02:46I like it.
02:47Well, cut it out.
02:49Can't you play like the other children?
02:50Make mud pies.
02:51Dig in the sand.
02:53Go on.
02:53Pretend you're Robinson Crusoe.
02:55Who is he?
02:56Oh, you know.
02:57I've told you the story of Robinson Crusoe hundreds of times.
03:00About the man who was shipwrecked and lived on a cracker for a whole week.
03:04How did he move around?
03:06He was on an island.
03:08The only thing he managed to save from the shipwreck was the tool chest.
03:11Tell me more, Daddy.
03:13Well, I started this myself.
03:15Now, when he was cast ashore, he...
03:17Who was cast?
03:18Robinson Crusoe.
03:19He was washed onto this desert island.
03:21And then...
03:21Why?
03:22Because he was shipwrecked.
03:24Who was?
03:24Robinson Crusoe.
03:26Ah.
03:28It was a good thing he had his tool chest.
03:31Because he was able to build a hut.
03:33Then he started to build some chairs.
03:34And did he...
03:35Did he want chairs?
03:37Why did he want chairs, Daddy?
03:38Because he didn't have anything to sit on.
03:40I got some...
03:41Never mind that.
03:43At the end of the day, when his work was done, he sat down on his chest.
03:48Could he stand on his nose?
03:51No.
03:52How could he sit on his chest?
03:54I mean his tool chest.
03:56Oh, why did I have to drag you along to the beach?
03:58Because Mommy makes you take me.
04:00Sure, sure.
04:02I get one day to myself, she ties you around my neck.
04:04Work like a dog, never get a chance to recuperate.
04:07What's a copper, Daddy?
04:09Now listen.
04:10I work every day in the office, don't I?
04:12I don't know.
04:13Well, I do.
04:15I have to regain my energy.
04:16So when I come to the beach and line the sun, what do I do?
04:19That's what Mommy sent me to find out.
04:23Oh, she did it, huh?
04:26Well, now you listen.
04:27You go about your business and dig holes in the sand.
04:29I want to bury you, Daddy.
04:31No, I just want to lie here and get a sunburn.
04:33Why?
04:34Because that's what I came to the beach for.
04:36The sun is beneficial.
04:38The only chance I get to pick up a few violet rays.
04:41I know.
04:42I've seen you wave that.
04:44My snooks.
04:46You know very well that lady I waved at was Mommy's friend, Mrs. Lester.
04:51What are you laughing at?
04:54I know.
04:56What do you know?
04:57It was violet rays.
04:59Now, don't you start that kind of stuff with me.
05:03The very idea.
05:04The very idea.
05:06All right, now.
05:06Go on and play nicely in the sand with your pale and shovel.
05:09Collect some lovely sherleter.
05:10Then we'll take them home.
05:12I want to bury you, Daddy.
05:13No, you can't bury me.
05:15Then I'll tell Mommy to play.
05:16Now, you just thought that.
05:17I told you that lady was Mrs. Lester.
05:20And you know her as well as I do.
05:22You didn't look like Mrs. Lester.
05:24Well, you probably couldn't recognize her because she didn't have her street clothes on.
05:29Could you recognize her without her street clothes, Daddy?
05:32Why, of course.
05:33Why?
05:36Oh, leave me alone.
05:38Why can't you play like those other children?
05:40I'm hungry.
05:42Well, we'll soon go home and you'll have your dinner.
05:44And buy me a hot dog, Daddy.
05:46No, it'll spoil your appetite.
05:48Mommy will give me the dickens.
05:49But maybe not violet?
05:51Her name's not violet.
05:53And there was nothing wrong with my waving at her.
05:55She was with her husband.
05:56Oh, is that why you moved away?
05:59Oh.
06:01And Frank Morgan thinks he's a great spy.
06:03Huh?
06:04Nothing.
06:06Oh, look at all the pretty boats on the water, Snooks.
06:09Isn't it wonderful to be here at the beach in the sunshine?
06:11I want to go swimming.
06:14Oh, all right.
06:15We'll take a fast dip and go right home.
06:17I'm sick of this anyway.
06:19Come on.
06:19And don't splash too much.
06:21Oh, Daddy.
06:22Oh, this water's icy cold.
06:27Snooks.
06:28Hang on to my hand.
06:30Are you scared, Daddy?
06:31No, I'm not scared.
06:33I don't want you to go beyond your death.
06:35Oh, it's freezing.
06:36I don't want to go out, Daddy.
06:38So do I.
06:39Come on.
06:40Here.
06:41Grab this towel and rub yourself all over.
06:43Now, don't sit down in the sand again.
06:45Daddy.
06:46What do you want?
06:47Take me back in the water.
06:48You just came out.
06:51I have to go back again.
06:53Quick.
06:53Why didn't you say something while you were in there?
06:56Because I just felt the sand in my bathing trunk.
06:59Ah, come on.
07:01What a life.
07:01Bye.
07:22Bye.
07:23Buy me an ice cream cone.
07:26Quiet, Snooks.
07:27I don't want any trouble with you today.
07:29I get one Saturday afternoon off and your mother makes me tea to see some kid's picture.
07:35Who's the kid?
07:37I don't even know the name of the thing.
07:39What's playing?
07:40Or else.
07:43Or else?
07:44Mm-hmm.
07:44That couldn't be a movie title.
07:46Well, Mommy said you were going to take me to see the picture.
07:50Or else.
07:51Oh.
07:53Well, believe me, I'd have told her a thing or two if I didn't want to play poker tonight.
07:58Oh, here's the movie house, Daddy.
08:03Oh, Lord.
08:05The Catman's Revenge.
08:09It's very spooky.
08:11I can imagine.
08:13Well, come on.
08:15Oh, two, please.
08:16One child.
08:17Is that the child?
08:19Well, what do you think she is, my grandmother?
08:23How old are you, little lady?
08:25Me?
08:26Yes, you.
08:27Whatever my daddy says.
08:31Snooks, the man wants to know how old you are.
08:34Tell him.
08:36Is five too much?
08:40Sorry, bud.
08:41Fifty cents each.
08:43Oh, all right.
08:45Here's your dollar.
08:47Well, let go of it.
08:49Snooks.
08:50Now, listen.
08:52Before we go in, are you, uh, sure?
08:58Yes, Daddy.
09:02Feel positive?
09:04Uh-huh.
09:06All right, fine.
09:08Catman's Revenge, here we come.
09:12Gosh, it's dark in here.
09:14Do you see any seats, Snooks?
09:16This?
09:16I'd ride in that row.
09:17Uh-huh.
09:18And don't forget to say pardon me as you go past the beetle.
09:21All right.
09:22Pardon me.
09:23Pardon me.
09:24Pardon me.
09:26Pardon me.
09:26Oh, my corn.
09:28Oh, pardon me.
09:29Oh, my corn.
09:30Pardon me.
09:31Daddy, can I sit on your lap?
09:34No, certainly not.
09:36Well, we better go back, bud.
09:37There's only one seat here.
09:40Oh, fine.
09:41Come on.
09:42Pardon me.
09:43Pardon me.
09:44Oh, my corn.
09:46Oh, pardon me.
09:47Why don't you look where you...
09:48Oh, my corn.
09:50Pardon me.
09:51Pardon me.
09:52Pardon me.
09:53Pardon me.
09:54Pardon me.
09:54All right, stop that.
09:58Child, now.
09:59Oh, pardon me.
10:02Come on.
10:03Oh, look.
10:03There's two seats right there.
10:05Uh-huh.
10:05Now, sit down and behave yourself.
10:07And this picture better be good.
10:10It is.
10:11How do you know?
10:12Because I've seen it twice yesterday.
10:16Oh, you did?
10:18Well, why didn't you tell me outside?
10:21It wasn't playing outside.
10:23Oh, come on.
10:25Let's get out of here.
10:27Oh, wait.
10:28Wait a minute.
10:30Look what's happening to that man in the picture.
10:33Good heavens.
10:34There's fangs growing out of his mouth.
10:36Yeah.
10:37He's turning into a cat.
10:39Are you coming, Daddy?
10:40Sit down a minute, Snooks.
10:42Let's see what happens.
10:45He gets killed.
10:46Well, don't tell me.
10:49I'd like to enjoy it.
10:51But he comes to life again.
10:53Snooks.
10:54He comes back as a cat.
10:55Excuse me, bud.
10:57Is the dialogue on this screen interfering with your conversation?
11:00You got me so as I don't know what's going on in this picture.
11:04I'll tell you.
11:05No!
11:05No!
11:08This is where the cat man gets his revenge.
11:11Please!
11:12The cat man shoots the hero.
11:14The hero shoots the cat man.
11:17He's where the cops come in.
11:21They break the door down.
11:26Everybody shoots everybody.
11:30They all get killed.
11:32The end.
11:32That's all.
11:33Oh, no, it isn't.
11:36There's one more thing.
11:37What?
11:38This.
11:39Ah!
11:39Ha, ha, ha, ha!
11:51Oh, Mama, that child is here again.
11:54Enter Daddy's little demon, Baby Snook.
11:56Today, after two flat tires and plenty of engine trouble, we find Daddy Hanley Stafford and Baby
12:07Snooks at the end of a 90-mile drive to their new beach home.
12:10Daddy Snooks didn't feel too good when he started, so you can imagine how he feels now.
12:15Listen.
12:20Daddy.
12:21What is it?
12:22Why are you stopping?
12:24Because we finally arrived at our beach house, thank you.
12:27Are you glad?
12:28I don't say I am.
12:30Then why'd you tell Mama you didn't like it?
12:32Never mind.
12:33Get out and look at the ocean.
12:35Is this the mountains, Daddy?
12:37No, this is the seashore.
12:39We're going to spend the summer here.
12:41Where?
12:41Right here by the sea.
12:43Well, there's a mountain.
12:44There aren't any mountains here.
12:46It's just the sand and the ocean.
12:48But you told Mama we'd be going to the mountains.
12:50I know I did.
12:51And why did we come here?
12:54Because, because this is better than the mountains.
12:57Why?
13:00Because the sea air is much more health-giving, the saltwater bathing is better, the sun is
13:04stronger, and it's a much nicer place to spend the summer.
13:07Now, do you know why we came here?
13:09Uh-huh.
13:10Because Mommy didn't like the mountains.
13:13That has nothing to do with it.
13:15But we'll go to the mountains next year, all right.
13:17Ha, ha, ha, ha.
13:18What are you laughing at?
13:19That's what you said last year.
13:22Oh, keep quiet.
13:24Why, the seashore is fine.
13:26It's magnificent.
13:28Hmm.
13:29Look at those white caps on the ocean.
13:31Uh-huh.
13:32Break, break, break.
13:34On thy cold, great soul.
13:37Oh, sea.
13:39Roll.
13:40Go on, thou mighty ocean.
13:43Roll.
13:43Oh, uh, look-a, Daddy.
13:46What?
13:48It's doing what you said.
13:50Well, what about it?
13:52Now make a roll back.
13:55Oh, come on.
13:55Let's go in the house and look the place over.
13:58Did you buy the place, Daddy?
14:00No, we're just renting it for three months.
14:02And that's too long.
14:03I hope the furniture's halfway, dearie.
14:10Daddy?
14:11Yes?
14:12Why don't Mommy like the mountains?
14:15Because she wants to go to the seashore.
14:17Why?
14:18She has to come here for her asthma.
14:20Did she leave it here?
14:22No.
14:23She claims it makes her feel better.
14:26Now, how do you like this broken-down house?
14:31Oh.
14:32I like it.
14:34Now, you would.
14:35You're getting more like your mother every day.
14:39How do you get upstairs, Daddy?
14:41This is a bungalow.
14:42There isn't any upstairs.
14:43Now, where am I going to sleep?
14:45Downstairs.
14:46Down what stairs?
14:48Down no stairs.
14:49There aren't any stairs.
14:51You said I'm going to sleep downstairs.
14:53I know I did, but in this case, downstairs means right here.
14:56You're going to sleep on this floor.
14:57What's the matter?
14:59I don't want to sleep on the floor.
15:03Oh, stop that.
15:05You'll sleep in a bed.
15:06Only everything is on this one floor.
15:08Oh.
15:10Mommy.
15:11Now, what do you want?
15:12Where's the bed?
15:14That thing right there in the corner.
15:16Well, that don't look like a bed.
15:18I know it doesn't, but it is just the same.
15:20It's a day bed.
15:21Huh?
15:21It's a day bed.
15:23Well, where do I sleep at night?
15:25Right there.
15:26A day bed is only for sleeping in the nighttime.
15:29Is a night bed for sleeping in the daytime?
15:31No.
15:33Well, why do they call that a day bed?
15:35Because a day bed's a sofa that's made up at night as a bed,
15:38and during the day it's a couch which nobody sleeps on,
15:40so a day bed is really a night bed, only it's not a bed at all.
15:42Do you feel all right, Daddy?
15:48No, I feel terrible.
15:50And don't bother me with any more questions.
15:52I've got to check the inventory.
15:53What's that?
15:54Well, the woman who owns the house made a list of all the things in it.
15:57I want to be sure they're here.
15:59Come on, look around, Daddy.
16:00Well, go ahead.
16:01But don't break anything.
16:02I won't.
16:03Well, let's see this list.
16:05I guess this is the living room, such as it is.
16:09Well, where's the linen?
16:10Daddy.
16:11Now, what's happened?
16:12Is Uncle Louie on that list?
16:15No, of course not.
16:16Well, he's in that room.
16:17Now, what are you talking about?
16:19Where's Uncle Louie?
16:19There he is.
16:20He's looking through the hole in the wall.
16:22Oh, that's not Uncle Louie.
16:24That's a moose head.
16:27Ah.
16:28If there's one thing I hate, it's a moose head.
16:31Why?
16:32Because I'm allergic to moose hairs.
16:34They give me hay fever.
16:36What's hay fever?
16:37It's an illness.
16:38It has nothing to do with hay, and it doesn't cause a fever.
16:40And don't ask me if I feel all right.
16:42Well, let's take him down.
16:45Let's take who down?
16:47Uncle Louie.
16:48I told you that's a moose.
16:50What's a moose?
16:52It's a big lumbering thing with antlers and a fat nose like a hog, and a shapeless body
16:56like a cow.
16:57Is that Uncle Louie?
16:58No, that's Aunt Sophie.
16:59It's nothing of the kind.
17:04Now, come on out of here while I check the stuff in the living room.
17:07All right, Daddy.
17:08She's got marked on this list two dozen Wedgwood cups and sauces.
17:11Ten dollars a piece.
17:13Wonder where they are.
17:15Is this some, Daddy?
17:16Now, Snooks, stop climbing on that shelf.
17:18I want to climb the cups and sauce.
17:20Now, be careful.
17:20That's a very expensive china.
17:22Whee!
17:23Stop rocking on that china closet.
17:24Snooks!
17:25Whee!
17:26Look out for that Wedgwood!
17:28Whee!
17:32Whee!
17:36Oh, good heavens.
17:39You smashed the whole thing to pieces.
17:41Yeah.
17:42$480 worth of china.
17:44Yeah.
17:45Oh, what a beautiful match.
17:48You like it, Daddy?
17:51How could I ever pay for all that stuff?
17:54Oh, $480.
17:56What do I do?
17:57I know.
17:58Let's go to the muck.
18:00Ah!
18:08Daddy, that was swell.
18:10Here they are again, ladies and gentlemen.
18:12Baby Snooks and Daddy.
18:17For a lot of something better to do, Daddy is taking Snooks to see a moving picture for
18:21the first time in her life.
18:22As the scene opens, we find them entering the theater.
18:25Here they are.
18:26Well, Snooks, this will be the first time you've ever gone to a movie.
18:30Aren't you happy?
18:30Yes, Daddy.
18:31And I'm giving you a real treat, too.
18:33We're going to sit in the orchestra.
18:35What's the orchestra?
18:36Well, the orchestra has the best seats.
18:3855 cents a piece.
18:40In the balcony, they're only 30 cents.
18:41You see, it's cheaper up there.
18:43What picture's in the balcony?
18:45The same picture, only the orchestra's better.
18:48Why?
18:49Come on in.
18:52Oh.
18:53It's dark.
18:54Yes.
18:55Just stick close to me until we find some seats.
18:57Why is it dark here?
18:59It's dark so you can see the picture.
19:01Can you see the dark, Daddy?
19:03No.
19:04Well, how can you see the picture?
19:06Because the picture's light.
19:08Then why is it dark?
19:10So you can see the picture.
19:12The picture's light and the theater's dark, so the contrast lets you see the light even
19:15though it's dark.
19:17Do you feel all right, Daddy?
19:19I feel fine.
19:21Now, just sit down and keep quiet.
19:23All right.
19:24Daddy?
19:25Daddy?
19:25What?
19:26Why do all these people sit here?
19:28They're watching the picture.
19:29What for?
19:30Because they enjoy it.
19:31I don't like it.
19:33Well, why not?
19:36Because it's got no Indians.
19:38Well, they don't have any Indians in this picture.
19:40Why?
19:41Because it's about Abraham Lincoln.
19:44You see, there's little Shirley Temple sitting on his knee.
19:46Who's Abraham Lincoln?
19:48He was one of our greatest presidents.
19:50And he lived a long time ago.
19:52Did you know him, Daddy?
19:53No.
19:54He's long before my time.
19:56Is Shirley Temple older than you?
19:59Now, why do you ask such a ridiculous question?
20:01Well, she knows Lincoln.
20:03No, she doesn't know Lincoln.
20:07Then why is she sitting on his lap?
20:09Because it's not really Abraham Lincoln.
20:13Is it really Shirley Temple?
20:16Of course.
20:17Well, how could she be sitting on his lap when she's dark?
20:20Because it isn't really Lincoln.
20:21The man is playing Lincoln's part.
20:23Why?
20:25Because Lincoln is dead.
20:27He looks alive to me.
20:29I know, but he isn't.
20:31That man isn't alive.
20:32No, Lincoln is not alive.
20:34Oh, who plays Shirley Temple's part?
20:37Shirley Temple.
20:38Why?
20:39Because Shirley Temple is Shirley Temple.
20:42Well, ain't Lincoln Lincoln?
20:43No, possibly not.
20:46Daddy, are you sure you feel all right?
20:49Will you keep that child quiet?
20:50Oh, I'm sorry, madam.
20:54Sir, if you keep talking so much, you'll have us thrown out of the theater.
20:57Well, Shirley Temple's talking.
20:59She's talking on the screen.
21:01I want to talk on the screen.
21:03Well, you can't do it.
21:05Nobody can talk on the screen.
21:07But they're all talking on the screen.
21:09You only think they're talking.
21:11That's not them at all.
21:12It's the illusion you get of a soundtrack through the film.
21:14So even though you hear them talking, they're not really talking.
21:17It's...
21:17Shh, watch the picture.
21:19You see?
21:21Now the Civil War has started.
21:23And they're all going to war.
21:25Why is the lady crying?
21:27Because her husband is going to war.
21:29Shirley Temple's husband.
21:31Oh, no!
21:32Shirley Temple has no husband.
21:33Why?
21:34Because he hasn't.
21:36Now keep quiet.
21:38Oh, look.
21:39They're off for the front.
21:41Where's the front, Daddy?
21:43Where they're fighting.
21:44Where they're fighting.
21:45At the front.
21:46Oh.
21:47Sook, you'll drive me crazy.
21:51Now what?
21:52I want to go home.
21:54Well, don't you want to see the end of the picture?
21:55Yes.
21:57You want to see the end of the picture and you also want to go home?
22:00Uh-huh.
22:00Well, Sook, you can't do everything.
22:01You simply can't do both.
22:03Why?
22:04Oh, what's the use?
22:05We're going home.
22:06Oh, I don't want to go home.
22:15Now, ladies and gentlemen, here's Fanny Bryce as Baby Snooks.
22:23Daddy, played by Hanley Stafford, promised to take Snooks to the Los Angeles County Fair if she behaved all week.
22:28By some miracle, Snooks was a very good girl.
22:30So we find them both at the gigantic parking lot at the fairgrounds.
22:34Daddy is trying to park his car and the little angel is helping him.
22:38Listen.
22:41Now, Snooks, you get out and see the guy back in properly.
22:43All right, Daddy.
22:46Now, watch that car on the left.
22:47Why?
22:48Because I haven't got much room.
22:50Watch carefully and see if I hit it.
22:52All right.
22:53Come on, Daddy.
22:55No!
22:57It's all right, Daddy.
22:58You hit it.
23:01Snooks, didn't I tell you to watch that car on the left?
23:04I watched the whole time, Daddy.
23:06Then why didn't you say something before I hit it?
23:08He didn't tell me.
23:09This ain't nothing.
23:11Well, this is a fine way to start the day.
23:13We're not even in the fair yet, and I've got a busted fender.
23:16Thanks to you.
23:17You're welcome, Daddy.
23:18Oh, stop that.
23:20Well, I'd better have a look at the damage.
23:22I want to see the fair.
23:24Oh, wait a minute.
23:24Let's have a look at it.
23:27Look at that rip in my fender.
23:28Ain't it awful?
23:30You can say that again.
23:31All right.
23:32Ain't it awful?
23:34It's all your fault.
23:36I've got a good mind to take you right back home.
23:38I didn't do nothing.
23:40All right.
23:41Let's go in.
23:42Hang on to my coat.
23:43Why?
23:44I don't want you to get lost in the crowd.
23:46Why?
23:48I don't know.
23:49But hang on to my coat just for pain.
23:51Tickets, please.
23:52I hear.
23:53Just a minute, buddy.
23:54How about a ticket for the kid?
23:56Ticket for the kid?
23:56That's what I said.
23:58That's what he said.
23:59The sign says children on the six admitted free.
24:02This child is five years old.
24:04She's five.
24:04Don't make me laugh, mister.
24:06Don't make him laugh, Daddy.
24:08Quiet, you.
24:08How old are you, kid?
24:11Ninety-one.
24:13Oh, Snow, still the man you're right age.
24:15Hey, listen, kid, you're over six, ain't you?
24:17No, I ain't.
24:19Yeah, what did I tell you?
24:20I'm over seven.
24:22Here's the money.
24:22Give me another ticket.
24:23Okay, but next time don't try to get away with nothing.
24:26All right, wise guy.
24:27Wise guy.
24:28Hey, wait a minute, you.
24:29Chuck him, Daddy.
24:30Oh, come on.
24:32There's no better than to take you anywhere.
24:35Now, come on.
24:36Look at the fair and enjoy yourself.
24:38I want a hot dog.
24:40You can't have a hot dog.
24:42Why?
24:42Because I won't buy it for you.
24:44No, I'll buy it myself.
24:45See, I got money.
24:46Let me see that.
24:47Forty cents.
24:49Snooks, where'd you get that money?
24:51I said an already working school.
24:53Oh, you did?
24:54Uh-huh.
24:54And the teacher gave me ten cents not to say it anymore.
24:58Where'd you get the other thirty cents?
25:01I like clean and work.
25:04Snooks, I don't know what I'm going to do with you.
25:06It's me, Daddy.
25:07No, I won't.
25:09And you'd better let me hold that money for you.
25:11Why?
25:12Well, you might lose it.
25:13I don't want to hold it.
25:14Oh, it's too much for a little girl.
25:16I'll tell you what.
25:17Give half of it to Daddy.
25:18How's that?
25:18No good.
25:21Now, listen.
25:22I share everything I have with you, don't I?
25:24Uh-huh.
25:24And I always see that you get what you want, don't I?
25:26Uh-huh.
25:27Well, are you going to be selfish and keep all that money?
25:30Uh-huh.
25:30Snooks, give me that money.
25:34I'll give you twenty cents and I'll keep twenty.
25:37If you don't, I'll take you right home.
25:39All right, yes.
25:40Well, I won't have.
25:41All right, all right.
25:43Now, here's twenty cents for you and I'll take twenty-two.
25:46Why did you get two cents more than me?
25:49I didn't get more than you.
25:50You've got twenty and I've got twenty-two.
25:52You've got twenty-two?
25:53That's right.
25:55That's a fair division, isn't it?
25:56No.
25:57Well, why not?
25:58Because I won twenty-two.
26:00If you took twenty-two, that would only leave me eighteen.
26:03That wouldn't be half.
26:04As it is, we both have twenty cents.
26:06You said you got twenty-two.
26:08I did not.
26:10I said I have twenty-two.
26:11Not twenty-two.
26:13Well, that's different, ain't it, Daddy?
26:15Why, of course.
26:16Well, what are you yelling about?
26:18You got two cents more than me.
26:20I've got exactly the same amount.
26:22How?
26:24Because when I said I was taking twenty-two,
26:26I didn't mean I was taking twenty-two.
26:29The two used in the first case is not the same as the
26:31numeral two used in the second case.
26:32Oh, what's the use?
26:33Explain to you.
26:36What does it get me?
26:38Two cents more than me.
26:41All right.
26:42Here's the money.
26:43You divide it yourself.
26:44All right.
26:45Take twenty cents for you.
26:48That's right.
26:48And I'll take twenty-two.
26:51What are you laughing at?
26:53Now I've got two cents for God and you.
26:55All right.
26:57And just to show you how generous I am,
26:59I'll let you keep it.
27:00Thank you, Daddy.
27:01Now let's walk around and have a look at this pair.
27:05What's that, Daddy?
27:06Oh, that's the races.
27:07I forgot all about them.
27:09Come on, Will.
27:09Watch the horses run.
27:10Where are they going to run?
27:11Around the track.
27:12Do they walk, Daddy?
27:14Only when I bet on them.
27:16Now look over there, sirs.
27:18See them lining up at the barrier?
27:19I want to race, too, Daddy.
27:21Oh, don't be sad.
27:22Now listen, I'm going to make a little bet.
27:24Walk over to the mutual window with me.
27:25Come on.
27:26Who shall we bet on, sirs?
27:27I don't know.
27:29See that number six?
27:30Yeah.
27:30That's Mudneck.
27:31He's an outsider.
27:32How did he get in?
27:34No.
27:35I mean, he's a long shot.
27:36Oh.
27:37I think I'll put two dollars on his nose.
27:39There's more room on the other end, Daddy.
27:42Come on.
27:43We'll take a chance on Mudneck.
27:46Number six, please.
27:48Is he going to win, Daddy?
27:49I hope so.
27:51Here, you hold the ticket for good luck.
27:52All right.
27:54Well, they'll be ready to go in a second.
27:56Mm-hmm.
27:56Huh?
27:57Our jockey looks pretty good, doesn't he?
27:59Mm.
27:59He's got pretty pants on, Daddy.
28:01They're off.
28:02No, they ain't.
28:02He's still wearing them, Daddy.
28:04No, no, look.
28:05The horse is running.
28:07Come on, Snopes.
28:08Pull for our horse.
28:09Come on, Mudneck.
28:10Come on, Mudneck.
28:13They're at the first quarter.
28:14Yeah.
28:14Where's Mudneck?
28:16He's still here, Daddy.
28:18Well, don't you worry.
28:19I'll bet those other horses are pretty scared of our Mudneck.
28:21Is that why they're running away from him, Daddy?
28:24Well, that's smart riding.
28:26The jockey's saving him.
28:27Saving for what?
28:28For the stretch.
28:30And he's stretching that horse.
28:33Watch the race.
28:35We've got to bring Mudneck in.
28:37Uh-huh.
28:37I want a hot dog.
28:39I'll buy him 50 hot dogs if he wins.
28:41How about our Mudneck?
28:43He got two on the inside.
28:45He's fourth.
28:46Look, he's third.
28:47Look at him go.
28:49I'm nervous, Daddy.
28:50Yes, so am I.
28:51He's got to win.
28:52Come on, Mudneck.
28:53They're in the stretch.
28:55Mudneck is taking the lead.
28:56He's coming away.
28:58I don't feel good.
29:00Mudneck wins.
29:01Ha-ha.
29:02Snopes.
29:03We're rich.
29:04That horse will pay 50 to 1 for our $2 tickets.
29:08Well, why are you crying?
29:10Was the excitement too much for you?
29:12No.
29:12Did somebody push you?
29:14No.
29:14Then why?
29:17Snopes!
29:19A ticket!
29:22Oh, don't tell me.
29:24Did you lose it?
29:26Is it lost if I know where it is, Daddy?
29:29No, no.
29:29If you know where it is, it's all right.
29:31And you won't spank me?
29:32Why, of course not.
29:33Where's the ticket?
29:34It's in my tummy.
29:35I swallowed it.
29:36Oh, what's the use?
29:38Again?
29:39Yeah.
29:43Hold it.
29:44I love it.
29:45I love it.
29:46I love it.
29:48I love it.
29:48I love it.
29:50This is not bad.
29:51I love it.
29:54I love it.