The Baby Snooks Show was an American radio program starring comedian and Ziegfeld Follies alumna Fanny Brice as a mischievous young girl who was 40 years younger than the actress who played her when she first went on the air.
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00:00And now, ladies and gentlemen, here's Fanny Bryce as Baby Snooks.
00:11Well, Daddy, played by Hanley Stafford, is all set for a swell outing.
00:14He has an appointment to go fishing with some friends.
00:17And as our scene opens, it is 4.30 in the morning and he's about to leave the house.
00:21Listen.
00:22Well, I guess I have everything.
00:25Tacklebox, rods, net, thermos.
00:27Uh-oh.
00:28Mustn't forget my waiting boots.
00:30Well, now I've got to sneak past the kids' room and...
00:34Come on, Daddy!
00:36Oh, what's the use of saying prayers?
00:39Where are you going, Daddy?
00:41I'm going fishing.
00:42You want to make something out of it?
00:44Uh-huh.
00:44Now, look out.
00:45I've got to hurry.
00:46Why?
00:47Now, Snooks, I'm not going to stand here and argue with you.
00:50It's 4.30 in the morning and everybody in his right mind is sleeping.
00:55Funny, isn't it?
00:56I suppose you think I'm crazy because I get up so early to go fishing, don't you?
01:00No, Daddy.
01:02Oh.
01:02Well, I'm glad to hear you say that.
01:05Your mother doesn't seem to understand my little hobbies.
01:07What hobbies?
01:09Oh, a hobby is something that a man takes up outside of his regular work.
01:12Something that relaxes him.
01:14Some people collect stamps.
01:16Others do woodwork.
01:17Does Uncle Louie make a hobby?
01:19Yes, Uncle Louie etches.
01:21Huh?
01:22I said your Uncle Louie spends his spare time etching.
01:25Why don't he scratch himself?
01:28Well, I'll explain it to you some other time.
01:30Now, let me go and I'll bring you back a fishing.
01:32How do you know you will?
01:34How do I know?
01:35Uh-huh.
01:35Ah, I'm just about the best fisherman in the world, that's all.
01:38Remember last time I went?
01:40I brought home a sack full.
01:41And Mommy wouldn't let you bring them in my house.
01:44Ah, don't remind me of it.
01:46And such beautiful fish, too.
01:49Oh, I had three barracuda and one smelt.
01:52They all smelt.
01:54It is not.
01:56You're getting more like your mother every day.
01:58What's in that little pen, Daddy?
02:01Worms.
02:01I want to see them.
02:02Well, I haven't got time.
02:03Oh, please, Snooks, it'll be soon too late to go fishing.
02:06How is fish he's born, Daddy?
02:08Well, the fish lay eggs.
02:10Like a chicken?
02:11No.
02:11A chicken only lays one egg at a time, but a fish lays hundreds of eggs.
02:15Why?
02:16Oh, I don't know.
02:17Let me get out of here.
02:19Don't fish tackle when they lay eggs?
02:21No.
02:22Only a hen cackles.
02:24The hen lays the egg, then she sits on it.
02:26Did anybody sit on me?
02:29No.
02:30But it would have been a good idea.
02:35Oh, Snooks, I'll be late for my fishing appointment if you keep asking me questions.
02:39How are you going to catch the fish, Daddy?
02:41With a hook.
02:42You tie a hook on your line and let it go to the bottom.
02:44Why does it go to the bottom?
02:46Because I take along a big sinker.
02:48Is Uncle Louie going?
02:50No, Uncle Louie is not going.
02:52You said he was.
02:53I didn't say anything about Uncle Louie.
02:55I said I'd take along a big sinker.
02:57Oh, I thought you said...
02:59Never mind that.
03:02My dear.
03:04That's no way to talk about your Uncle Louie.
03:07You always say it, Daddy.
03:09Well, I know him better than you do.
03:13Besides, I have no time to discuss it with you now.
03:15Goodbye.
03:15Goodbye.
03:16Bye.
03:17Oh, now what is it?
03:19How are you going to catch the fishies?
03:21I told you, with a hook.
03:23You tie a hook to your line, then you bait the hook and drop it in the water.
03:26And pretty soon you feel a bite.
03:28Then you know what you do?
03:30Uh-huh.
03:31What?
03:31I don't know.
03:34Well, you set your hook.
03:36Like this.
03:37Then you start to reel him in.
03:39Careful.
03:40Keep his head up.
03:41See him?
03:42Uh-huh.
03:43Look at him whiz.
03:44Now, don't give him any slack.
03:46Reel him fast.
03:47Bring him right to the surface.
03:49Ha-ha.
03:49There he is.
03:51Look at that fish.
03:53What a beauty.
03:55You feel all right, Daddy?
03:57I feel fine.
03:58And it's getting late.
03:59I got to go.
03:59I want to go with you.
04:01Now, don't you start that.
04:02And I won't start any more nonsense.
04:03You don't attack me out.
04:04You'll what?
04:06I'll eat up all your worms.
04:09Snooks, now put that can down.
04:10Oh, what am I going to do with you?
04:12Don't attack me with you, Daddy.
04:13No.
04:14This is one time you're not going to bully me into giving in.
04:17Now, go ahead and eat the worm.
04:18See if I care.
04:19Now, tell me your story and I'll let you go.
04:21Oh.
04:22All right, but a quick one.
04:24Did you ever hear the story about the 12 apples and only 10 were good?
04:27No.
04:27Too bad.
04:28Goodbye.
04:28Goodbye.
04:28Goodbye.
04:30Oh, yeah, yeah.
04:32It was too short.
04:34Tell me a story about some fish.
04:37Oh, no.
04:38Well, look, I know a joke about fishing.
04:41You want to hear it?
04:42Uh-huh.
04:42And will you promise to let me go if I tell you?
04:44Uh-huh.
04:44Okay, but no interruptions.
04:46There were once two Irishmen named Pat and Mike.
04:49One day, they rented a boat and went out fishing.
04:51Who rented a boat?
04:52Pat and Mike.
04:53Well, they found a good spot in the middle of the lake.
04:56They caught a lot of fish.
04:57And Mike wanted to remember where they caught them.
04:59So he said to Pat,
05:00Be jay, but Pat,
05:01it is thinking I am that we'd better be coming back here tomorrow.
05:04Ha-ha.
05:05Ha-ha.
05:06Why, what are you laughing at?
05:07Ha-ha.
05:08That's a funny joke, Daddy.
05:10Tell me another one.
05:11I haven't finished this one yet.
05:13Ah.
05:14Well, anyway, Mike wanted to remember where he caught the fish
05:17so they could come back the next day.
05:19And what do you think the darn fool did?
05:21I know.
05:22He made a mark on the side of the boat.
05:23Ha-ha-ha.
05:24Ha-ha-ha.
05:25Ha-ha-ha.
05:26Ha-ha-ha.
05:26Ha-ha-ha.
05:26Ha-ha-ha.
05:26Ha-ha-ha.
05:27Ha-ha-ha.
05:28Ha-ha-ha.
05:28Isn't that the silliest thing you ever heard?
05:30Yeah, sure.
05:32How did he know he'd get the same boat?
05:37Now, you get the joke, all right.
05:39I can see that.
05:40Ain't I smart, Daddy?
05:41Oh, sure.
05:42I'll give you a medal when I come home.
05:43So I...
05:44Daddy.
05:45Oh, what is it?
05:47I want a pair of rubber boots like yours.
05:49No, you can't have rubber boots.
05:51Why?
05:52I'll think of a reason later.
05:54Goodbye.
05:54Ha-ha-ha.
05:55Oh, Joe, please.
05:57Come buy me some rubber boots.
05:59Now, you listen.
06:01I'll tell you a very sad story about a little girl who wanted rubber boots.
06:04And she cried till she got them.
06:06Would they fit me?
06:08Yes.
06:09And one day, there came a great big rain.
06:11And the silly little girl put on the rubber boots and went wading in the deepest puddle
06:15she could find.
06:17So her feet got all wet.
06:19And that night, she contracted a bad cold.
06:21Well, the cold got worse.
06:24And in two days, she had pneumonia.
06:27Mm-hmm.
06:28So her father called in the biggest doctors.
06:30But none of them could save his child.
06:32The crisis came.
06:34And just at the stroke of midnight, the poor little girl died.
06:38Her broken-hearted father buried her in a little grave.
06:41Right on the top of a green hill.
06:44And every year, he puts a flower on it.
06:47Now, doesn't that make you stop and think?
06:49Mm-hmm.
06:50What are you thinking about?
06:51What did they do with the boots, Daddy?
06:54Ah, goodbye.
06:55Goodbye.
06:56Goodbye.
06:56Ha, ha, ha.
06:56Ha, ha, ha.
06:57Ha, ha, ha.
06:57Ha, ha, ha.
06:58Ha, ha, ha, ha.
06:59Ha, ha, ha, ha.
07:00Ha, ha, ha.
07:00Ha, ha, ha.
07:01Ha, ha, ha.
07:02Ha, ha, ha.
07:02Ha, ha, ha, ha.
07:03Ha, ha, ha.
07:04Ha, ha, ha, ha.
07:04Ha, ha, ha, ha.
07:04Ha, ha, ha, ha.
07:05Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
07:05Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
07:06Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.