Skip to playerSkip to main contentSkip to footer
  • yesterday
Transcript
00:00All right, here's how Bill Belichick should break up with Jordan Hudson in just 60 seconds.
00:04You want to start small, dress poorly, which should be easy for Bill.
00:07A lot of ratty sweatshirts with holes in them, preferably from Navy.
00:10She's going to get sick of that real quick.
00:11Be gross, burps, farts, old man smell.
00:14She's not going to like that.
00:16Act your age.
00:17Take some naps.
00:18Sedentary lifestyle.
00:19Don't go anywhere.
00:20More naps.
00:22You point out her flaws.
00:23Crazy eyes over here.
00:24She's got an expensive, extravagant lifestyle over there.
00:27Oh, and she's generally ruining the lives.
00:30Of your kids and your grandkids.
00:32But if all else fails, you start going a little bigger.
00:35But you've got to be careful because, as Keith says, she just might be a succubus.
00:38So you tell her you're going somewhere nice.
00:41You get all gussied up.
00:43Tell your friends it's a night on the town.
00:44Make sure there are a lot of witnesses.
00:46I'll tell you what.
00:47Even tell her to go live.
00:49Film the whole thing on Instagram.
00:51Make sure people are watching.
00:52Then you break the news.
00:53Boom.
00:54Sorry, we're breaking up.
00:56You pray.
00:57And if all else fails, call your guy Trump.
00:59Get her to play.
01:00I think that would be a good way to go about it.
01:03She can't get deported.
01:04That's okay.
01:04That doesn't always matter these days.
01:05No, that is true.
01:06That is true.
01:07You can plant some evidence.
01:08Yeah.

Recommended