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Made in Chelsea S15E12,
Made in Chelsea Season 15 Episode 12
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Transcript
00:00Chelsea was a dirty town, full of rumors, hearsay and backstabbing.
00:13It took someone like me to clean it up.
00:16Who is it?
00:18Surely you remember me, Schutzi.
00:21Oh, I remembered her all right.
00:23Herman the German.
00:25Aren't you happy to see me, baby?
00:27What's the job, Herman?
00:28Oh, Bule, always getting straight down to business.
00:31They'd all been taken.
00:33Slick Vic, Slim Jim, Yeah Babyface, Mimi the Man Thief, Mr. Orange, Bonnie and Wide and Pricasso.
00:44But who? Why?
00:46People are saying it's someone new in town.
00:49Someone called The Tailor.
00:52The Tailor?
00:55I didn't understand what she said, but I wanted to look like I did.
01:02The ovenburst is in the kühlschrank.
01:06What?
01:08My leads were drier than Digby's chat and I needed information.
01:11So I turned to someone unafraid to speak her mind.
01:14Your hat looks stupid.
01:15How's the love like?
01:16How's the ballet career?
01:17Touché.
01:18I need information.
01:19I know just the guy.
01:26I would have preferred a Negroni.
01:27Oh.
01:28Okay.
01:31Much better.
01:32So, why do they call you Mitten the Mouth?
01:35Because I talk about everybody's business a lot.
01:37Yeah.
01:38I mean, that's pretty much it, to be honest.
01:40Tell me everything you know.
01:41Where do I start?
01:42I mean, Jamie didn't want to have sex with Melody.
01:45She's hilarious.
01:46The mouth spilled everything to me.
01:47Mimi, she found a boyfriend.
01:49The lies, the scheming, the betrayals.
01:51Digby messaging Mars' ex.
01:53Unfortunately, it was all just outrageous relationship gossip
01:56and completely useless.
01:57And then she said,
01:58your head is so far up your own ass
02:00you can smell the peroxide.
02:01Enough!
02:02Do you know anything about the tailor?
02:04Oh, the hat.
02:05No, sorry.
02:06For fuck's sake.
02:07Oh, do you want to know what Habs said about Sam in bed?
02:09No!
02:10I felt hopeless, like James and his relentless attempt at wooing Toph.
02:14So I hid a local Chelsea bar.
02:16A no good place that had the lot.
02:18Mugs.
02:19Smugs.
02:20Smugs.
02:21Smugs.
02:22Even hair plugs.
02:26What can I get you?
02:27I'll have an orange juice.
02:28With ice.
02:29Straight up.
02:33I barely had a sip when they started disappearing
02:35faster than Sam Prince can cheat five times.
02:38But one of them was with the same girl twice,
02:39so that makes it much better.
02:41Hello, detective.
02:44I hear you've been looking for me.
02:47And that's when she finally appeared.
02:50The tailor.
02:51No, it's Ellie off the telly.
02:53The tailor, actually.
02:54Oh, right.
02:55Sorry.
02:56You're on the match report, aren't you?
02:57Yeah.
02:58Oh, yeah.
02:59You've done eight out of ten chats.
03:00Guilty.
03:01I've heard of your horror.
03:02Thanks, babe.
03:03Yeah.
03:04I'm presenting the show.
03:05So, like, why are you kidnapping us all?
03:07Well, I've got to get you to the studio somehow, don't I?
03:09Come on.
03:10Don't struggle, Harry.
03:11You're growing up beautiful hair.
03:12Great tash, by the way.
03:14She had everything the presenter needs.
03:16Style, patience, a negotiated fee.
03:19Maybe the tailor wasn't so bad after all.
03:22Actually, it reminds me of this time I was trekking through the Andes.
03:25You too, Francis.
03:26Oh, right.
03:27Yes, sorry.
03:28You're so bad.
03:30You're so bad.
03:31You're left, by the way.
03:33Hello, hello, and welcome to the Mending Chelsea and the Seasoning Parking.
03:51Everyone cheer!
03:52They're so obedient.
03:57I'm gonna be open and honest from the start. My name is Ellie Taylor, and I'm from Essex
04:05I can handle this some of my best friends are posh
04:08One of them's even into Center parks now. I'm delighted to be here
04:12I'm very much looking forward to getting to know you all better even you Harry
04:16I know I'm as surprised as you are although watching the series contractual obligation, but also yay
04:22I feel like I already know you all. I mean there's Victoria. Hi Victoria
04:27What a warm kind soul. I scheduled a cry for at least once a week
04:33You are always running to hug her when you're sad a snuggle with lovely cuddly Vicky
04:39And then there's peacekeeper and confident mitten. I
04:42Know what it's like you feel like you're holding on someone so that they you don't break their heart is the worst
04:47It is the worst in the world. I mean he is someone you could definitely tell a secret to and just know he'll keep it forever
04:52He's a great guy and what about that gorgeous little dreamboat some prince
05:00The thing is it's actually because I actually adore her. Oh, he's so cute. He's so cute. No, sorry. I can't do this one. He's a shit gibbon
05:07He is no my real favorite member of the cast is the little excitable blonde one, you know sorted out his hair this series
05:15You know the one buddy the dog
05:20Sadly he's not here tonight, but we do have all of this
05:23Let's talk about the first time you did it mom. I'm so sorry. I hear you do twice a good Essex accent only for you
05:34Our very own judge Rinder
05:39Knutchen her upton vine vine mason
05:43Now do you feel like you can see a future yeah?
05:46That was meant confidently by the way they both have willies the willy bit is great because we were all but now we've been out
05:53They both have them. I can guarantee
06:01All the residents of sw3 I need a little advice from their leader the fresh prince of Sloan Square
06:07Mark Francis
06:13Good evening coming and you've bought your half is Camilla. She comes everywhere with me
06:18I'm very glad to see you haven't tried to give me one of those air claps who entertained moments ago
06:23Well, I wanted to talk to you about air kissing. Oh, yes
06:25There's a lot of that going on. Is it mandatory with posh people to do the double kissing? Well one doesn't really like to
06:31Touch yes
06:33Can you not just do a handshake or a fist bump? No, no, decidedly not. Oh, that's as bad as the air clap
06:39What would happen if I came towards you like this? I would recall, okay?
06:43Often happens with me and men. I'm used to it now. These are all quite a feisty bunch
06:47Is there a particular way to keep posh people in order? Yes one keeps them away
06:52Away from what well oneself, of course
06:58Yeah, it's rather like a trench
07:00Now when I get drunk I get I know can you imagine a lady a lady when I have a sherry or two
07:09My accent goes from Essex into sort of a poshness
07:12So all this lot really posh or is it all just Bloody Marys?
07:16I don't think we should actually try and stop using that word
07:19It sounds like a sort of cheese that one might find in a supermarket. Don't you think?
07:23I'll have a slice of posh
07:27Is that how people message speak? I don't know
07:30It just sounded different. I did hear that you can do a very good Essex accent can't persuade you to like come into a little bit of
07:36What's the best expanse of me, babe? Only for you
07:38Oh my God! Only for you
07:40Only for you
07:44Oh my God, babe, that is the next one
07:46Damnit! I thought I got it! Mark Prouses, everybody!
07:48Yeah!
07:50Now, from Chelsea royalty to this eager little pup
07:59Hello, little Sam
08:00Hello
08:01And Habs, how are you guys?
08:02Good, how are you?
08:04Very well, thanks very much
08:05How are things in Loveland with you two?
08:08I'm incredibly happy
08:09I'm smiling, which is nice
08:11You're practically on top of one another, so I'm assuming that it's going quite well
08:15Habs, how are you feeling?
08:16Yeah, it's nice
08:17Now with your portmanteau, which is of course Sam Habs ham
08:22We're going ham
08:23Yeah, everyone loves it
08:24I assumed you may want to avoid each other, but I wasn't accounting Sam for your smooth seduction technique
08:32Would you ever go there with Habs?
08:33Yeah, 100%
08:34I'll find you a turtle
08:36You actually look really nice tonight, by the way
08:38You look like a Disney princess
08:39I feel like you've been flirting me a little bit out here
08:44Trying to play it a little bit cool
08:45Please tell me you guys didn't get together
08:47I did
08:49Come on
08:51I mean, I'm not gonna lie
08:51We hadn't even got through passport control and he already asked me in a day
08:58If you get a strike, we can go on another day
09:03I'm going out of the burn
09:05It's just the way you make me feel
09:13So lovely
09:14Now, Habs, what was it that got you in the end?
09:17I mean, the Disney princess thing would have done it for me
09:19That's why I've come just as Belle tonight
09:21That was it
09:22What's that the line that got you?
09:23Oh, that was it
09:24Anyone who gets called a Disney princess, I mean, you pretty much sold on that
09:27I'm totally with you
09:28It's not Ariel though, because it's just sort of fishy
09:31Yeah, no one wants that
09:34Miles lurking behind me
09:35You were present for quite a lot of their flirting
09:38Yeah
09:38I mean, you looked awkward
09:40It was
09:40And it was awkward
09:41Very awkward, yeah
09:42But yeah, you continued to sit there
09:43I don't know why I was there to be honest
09:45I just stood there and they were like all lovey-dovey
09:47And I let them do their thing
09:49But look, they look really happy
09:51I'm happy for them
09:52Seal of approval from you
09:53Yeah, we'll just see what happens in the future
09:55We will indeed
09:56Now, what is the official status of ham?
10:00That's such a grim name
10:01Yeah
10:02Can we tease that?
10:03Absolutely not
10:05So are you official?
10:06Are you boys and girls?
10:07We haven't actually had that chat yet
10:09Do you want to have it now?
10:10No, I'm all right actually, if that's okay
10:12Are you sure?
10:13Yeah, do you know what?
10:14Look, I respect habs enough to not really do in front of everyone here
10:19Do you take any time?
10:20Yeah
10:20And on that gentlemanly sort of really high moral note
10:24Let's talk about the first time you did it
10:26My mum's here
10:27That's awesome
10:28I know, I know
10:28I'm enjoying this ever so much
10:30Now, I always think the first time that you do it
10:32Both of you looking at the floor
10:34I was thinking it's a bit like when you first make a pancake
10:36First one's always a bit dodgy
10:38I want to know how are things now with the old pancakes
10:41Are they a bit soggy around the edge?
10:43Or are you at like optimum tossing capabilities?
10:46Mum, I am so sorry
10:50No comment
10:52His mum is still right there
10:53Let's change the conversation
10:56Now, how did it feel when james was talking about your pancake making abilities?
11:00That's not changing
11:01Well, it's talking about james though
11:03I've deflected
11:03It's never nice to hear
11:05It's not
11:06Yeah, but james obviously is a bit of a liar
11:08So
11:08Yeah, yeah james
11:10Am I now?
11:11Are you james?
11:11I don't think I'm a liar
11:13Do you not?
11:13No, I think I'm pretty truth-telling
11:15Really?
11:16I think so
11:17Well, now you've heard the difference from Habs
11:18Do you feel like you want to go and tell everyone how bloody great the pancakes and some batter really is?
11:23It's a bit bizarre for anyone to be interested
11:26It is a little bit bizarre
11:27Especially james, he's not really friends with you brother
11:29True
11:30I'm not friends with either of you and yet I was
11:32Oh, I just don't really want to be talking about that to be honest
11:35No, it is quite cringe
11:36Yeah
11:37And yet I still want to know
11:38My mother is still here
11:44On that note, shall we have a chat about your relationship with your mum and sister?
11:54Hello, hello
11:57Karen and Louise, thank you so much for joining us down here
12:01Now, Louise, I know you don't feel particularly comfortable about talking about your brother's sex life
12:05Um, so
12:06How do you think I feel?
12:07Um, let's talk about your brother's sex life
12:09Do you have any opinions?
12:10No
12:11Fine
12:11We've done that bit
12:12No problem
12:13Um, what is your opinion on this relationship?
12:15We haven't really heard much from you about what you think
12:17We didn't really hang out that much like throughout the series
12:20But since we finished filming
12:22I've had a chance to get to know her better
12:24And she's really lovely
12:25She's been at the house
12:26I think she's really cute
12:29Now, uh, Karen what I really loved was when you met Habs for the first time at Louise's book launch
12:33Habs basically curtsied to you
12:37As she met you
12:37Three million mother-in-law like the queen
12:41It's a perfect way to go
12:42Now, that night, um, you managed to be quite embarrassing about Sam
12:46Just a little bit
12:47I hear you bought some photos with you
12:50We might want to take a look at
12:51Adorable
12:56A little bit of a casualty
12:59Oh, that's
13:01That's the time Sam was at Hogwarts
13:04Clearly
13:04Oh, no
13:05Chelsea's on me
13:06Oh, my God
13:09Thanks
13:10I'm never speaking to you again
13:13You two auditioning for Geordie Shore, I think that one
13:17For you two photos
13:18Oh, thank you so much guys
13:19They're absolutely brilliant
13:21So you two are to Croatia soon for the summer
13:25Are you two going together?
13:27Are you going as a couple or?
13:29The more time I spend with Habs, the happier I become
13:32So
13:32Yeah
13:33So really nice
13:34Sound of hugs everybody
13:40After the break, I'll be getting intimate with Jamie Lang
13:43I don't care if I'm the last girl in Chelsea to do it
13:45I'm excited
13:50Is it any comfort knowing that one of the five times was with the same girl twice?
13:54Not really
13:55No
13:55Which is amazing
13:56Like I said she is the one who, you know
13:59She's the one
13:59She's the one
14:00She's the one
14:01She's the one
14:01She's the one
14:01She's the one
14:02She's the one
14:03She's the one
14:03She's the one
14:10Welcome back to the Megan Chelsea end of season party
14:13Well, I'm minutes away from diving headfirst
14:16into a Harry and Melissa pool of love.
14:18Cannot wait.
14:19But first, in a series awash with wonderful examples
14:22of inter-friend bitching,
14:23I'm not sure there was any diss worse than this one
14:26from Jamie about Melody.
14:28Yeah, I don't want to sleep with her.
14:29Yeah, there you go.
14:31What?
14:32I mean, I thought that might have been a nice compliment
14:34and a sign that Jamie really respected her,
14:37but then I asked around and noticed it's a massive insult, mate,
14:39isn't it? It's massive.
14:41Although, to be fair,
14:42I'm not really sure she missed out on that much.
14:45It is baller to be bad in bed.
14:48On behalf of women everywhere,
14:50Jamie, that is bollocks.
14:53No woman is looking at Ryan Gosling thinking,
14:55oh, God, I hope he lasts about 30 seconds
14:57and keeps his socks on.
15:00Lucky if he does.
15:01Lucky if he does?
15:02Mm-hm.
15:02Oh, good God.
15:04But judging by this step-by-step guide to being land,
15:07I don't think Jamie's even joking.
15:09I really go hard at the beginning,
15:11and then what I do is when I go hard,
15:13and then when something's happened,
15:14I then put on the brakes.
15:18So cringe.
15:19So cringe.
15:21But you know what?
15:22I'm glad Jamie messed Melody around,
15:24because without that,
15:25we wouldn't have heard this,
15:26the quote of the series.
15:27Your head must be fucking so far up your arse,
15:34you can fucking smell your peroxides.
15:40Strong.
15:41So strong.
15:42And there was me thinking you're a natural blonde, Shana.
15:44No.
15:45Apparently not.
15:46Sadly, Melody can't be with us tonight,
15:48but she has sent us this message.
15:50Yes.
15:50Yes.
15:51I'm really sorry I couldn't be there tonight.
15:53I'm actually...
15:54I'm in Cape Town for a wedding,
15:56so who knows?
15:58Maybe I'll meet someone else
15:59who will bring me halfway across the world
16:01to try humiliating me on national television.
16:04CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
16:05She is good.
16:07She is good.
16:08But let's forget about Mel,
16:09and let's talk about Elle.
16:11See what I did there?
16:12Happy with that?
16:13I like that.
16:13That was a good transition.
16:14Thank you very much, Jamie.
16:15I like that a lot.
16:16Now, bear in mind,
16:17it's one of the first times we've ever met.
16:18Let's chat about your libido.
16:20OK.
16:22Can I reassure everyone
16:23that the horn is back in?
16:24Because everyone's a little bit worried
16:25at the beginning of the series
16:26that you'd lost it somewhat.
16:28I think it's seasonal,
16:29so I think that's what happens.
16:31So at the time,
16:32it was a different season.
16:33Now, I'm sure it's...
16:34Mating season.
16:34It was...
16:35No, it's mating season.
16:36It's back.
16:36It's back on.
16:37Yeah, it's fully back on.
16:38So, things are going well with Elle?
16:40Things are going great, yeah.
16:41She's wonderful, she's amazing,
16:42she's not here tonight,
16:43but she is somewhere else.
16:44She is somewhere else.
16:46It's like a Tamagotchi,
16:47just somewhere else.
16:47OK, that's lovely,
16:48so you can pay your girlfriend
16:49to a Tamagotchi.
16:50Tamagotchi, real good.
16:51They're the romantic lad.
16:52I hear that you quite often
16:54fall head over heels in love.
16:55Mm-hmm.
16:56Happens quite often.
16:56What makes this relationship
16:58a keeper?
16:59Why is it different?
17:00Um, I don't know.
17:01I think that, uh...
17:02I think when you come across
17:04someone who is...
17:05Well, that's a bit rude.
17:07Oh, it's made a joke
17:08about coming across someone.
17:09Yeah, yeah, yeah.
17:10When you find someone
17:11who is, uh,
17:13like Eloise,
17:14I've never experienced,
17:15she's amazing,
17:16so that's why it's different.
17:16That's really lovely.
17:18Stop laughing at the coming of us.
17:20I mean, there's that.
17:21Put it in your head.
17:23What are you doing?
17:24I've got such a dirty mind over here.
17:27I expect more from you, frankly.
17:28I'm sorry, yeah.
17:30Yeah, just be quiet.
17:31Yeah, just be quiet.
17:31It's not your turn.
17:32It's not your turn.
17:33Do you have any chats
17:35you want to have
17:36about your libido
17:36or are we focusing
17:37on Jamie right now?
17:38All is fully functioning.
17:40Well, that's a big relief.
17:43Now, Jamie,
17:44back to you and El.
17:45I think I would find it quite hard
17:47not to fall for someone
17:48who did this.
17:49It's Swedish.
17:54Or, uh,
17:57Ingsvigdisch.
17:59Stop.
18:00That's German.
18:00You're freaking me out.
18:02Okay, well, then,
18:02then for you.
18:03Say it in French.
18:04Je t'aime.
18:06Aw, moi aussi.
18:08You do?
18:08Yes, I love you.
18:10But it's too,
18:11I do je t'aime a lot.
18:12I je t'aime, too.
18:16Oh, that's what I've almost said.
18:18What is better
18:18than a badger
18:19willing to spend
18:20five minutes
18:20on Google Translate?
18:21I feel like I look
18:22more like a skunk, though.
18:23I don't think
18:23I look like a badger.
18:24I don't think any of you
18:25really like any animals.
18:26It looked like you were
18:27all off your tits
18:28when you got dressed.
18:29Yeah, I think we were.
18:30And you were.
18:30We were.
18:31We were.
18:31That's exactly what we were.
18:32Now, I'm going to turn
18:33to your BFFs.
18:34Lads, how do you think
18:35it's going?
18:36Do you see a future
18:36for Jamie?
18:37Without?
18:38Yeah.
18:39He seems head over heels,
18:41so, yeah.
18:42You know what?
18:42She's an incredible guy.
18:43She's very amazing.
18:44She is far better than me,
18:46so hopefully I can
18:48keep it going.
18:50It's probably not even
18:50my fault this time.
18:51It's more her
18:52that she'll move on,
18:52if anything.
18:53Break it off.
18:54I probably normally
18:55break it off.
18:55So you think
18:55she might break it off?
18:56Probably, yeah.
18:57Why?
18:58I don't know, man.
18:59She's just...
18:59I'm trying to be positive.
19:01Dude, 100%.
19:02You're in a great relationship.
19:03You've got to back yourself, man.
19:04Okay, come on.
19:05You've got this, bro.
19:06Bad to see back on.
19:09So, Jamie,
19:10you're off to Croatia
19:11with Elle this summer.
19:12Are you going to fuck it up?
19:14I doubt it very much.
19:15She's incredible.
19:16She's amazing.
19:16Like I said,
19:17she is the one
19:18who, you know...
19:19She's the one.
19:20She's the one.
19:20You heard it.
19:21Here's the one.
19:23Jamie and the boys,
19:25everybody.
19:30Now, no one expects
19:32every relationship
19:33in Chelsea
19:33to last forever,
19:34but they do usually
19:35last more than
19:36two weeks
19:37before someone cheats.
19:38But five times
19:39may be a new record.
19:41Mate, I've got a bird.
19:46You've got a bird?
19:46Yeah.
19:47Five girls.
19:48One of them was the same.
19:49He's dead to me.
19:50He's, like, dead.
19:51I've only slept
19:58for six people
19:58in my whole life.
19:59Five in two weeks.
20:01It's frankly
20:02fucking incredible.
20:03Guys,
20:03lovely to see you.
20:05Sam Prince,
20:05I just didn't think
20:06you had it in you.
20:07No, neither did I really.
20:08Just you,
20:08so, like,
20:09young and shiny face,
20:10you're like a newborn foal.
20:11It just slipped out.
20:12You flutter?
20:13Absolutely not.
20:14Absolutely.
20:15Jesus.
20:16Well, it's good.
20:16Cold shower, mate.
20:18Yes,
20:18this is quite
20:19an interesting story
20:20that we all followed.
20:21And, Jemima,
20:22I mean,
20:22you were so annoyed
20:23by all the cheating,
20:24you forgot to get dressed
20:25that day
20:26when you dumped him.
20:27But if you are
20:28going to dump someone,
20:29if you're going to dump someone
20:29looking like that, mate,
20:30you look absolutely bang it.
20:30I think you're quite jealous
20:31of that, yeah.
20:32Like that.
20:33Yeah, I love it.
20:34Now, Jemima,
20:34I think the main question
20:35that everyone wants to know is,
20:37was it any comfort
20:37knowing that one of the five times
20:39was with the same girl twice?
20:41Not really.
20:42No.
20:42I'm not surprised by that
20:44at all.
20:45It might not have been moral,
20:46but let's all applaud
20:47the energy
20:47of Sam Prince's
20:48wayward penis.
20:49Now, you might think
20:53this is the first time
20:54I've met all this lot,
20:55but it's not research stalking,
20:57whatever you want to call it.
20:59I've been hobnobbing
21:00around Chelsea
21:00all series.
21:01And if you look hard enough,
21:03you might be able
21:03to stop me
21:04in a couple of scenes.
21:06Francis!
21:07Team bonding, mate!
21:08If I'm not walking
21:09up another hill,
21:09if there's another hill,
21:10I'm done.
21:14This is a choking hazard.
21:17If you gave a fuck about me,
21:19you wouldn't have done that.
21:20It's okay, see you.
21:21I'm so sorry.
21:38I'm so sorry.
21:39It's fine.
21:40This grangetti
21:41really needs some work.
21:42Yeah.
21:42I think I can feel it.
21:48I really could feel it.
21:50Now, when I started
21:51on this job,
21:52I heard a lot
21:52about a sleazy
21:53love rat,
21:54Harry Barron.
21:55But that is not the Harry
21:56I've got to know
21:57this series.
21:57This series,
21:58Harry is the world's
21:59perfect boyfriend.
22:00And I know this
22:01because, well,
22:02he keeps on telling us.
22:04I am a very good boyfriend.
22:06I actually have a girlfriend.
22:07Yeah.
22:08Wait, what?
22:08Oh, God!
22:08Oh, he loves her!
22:10What?
22:10Yeah, we're like
22:11the best couple.
22:12I feel so right.
22:12Like, I've never had anyone
22:14make me feel this way before.
22:15Right now,
22:16I'm in a new relationship
22:17with a girl that I love.
22:18I fucking worship
22:19the floor that she walks on.
22:21And I won't let me down.
22:22I'm not going to
22:23over-promise
22:24and deliver.
22:25I'm going to let you guys
22:26know on a little secret
22:27of where happiness lies.
22:28In this one here.
22:29That's, that's,
22:30like, that brings me happiness.
22:31God, I'm going to be sick.
22:33Hello, Melissa.
22:36Lovely to see you.
22:38How are things going?
22:40Are you still
22:40blissfully happy together?
22:42We are, indeed.
22:43Yeah.
22:43Now, this sort of
22:45seems like a very different
22:45Harry to the Harry
22:46that I've heard of.
22:48Melissa, were you aware
22:49of Harry's reputation
22:50before you got with him?
22:52Um, somewhat,
22:53but I've never heard
22:54of how you've been
22:54with a girlfriend before.
22:56And did the other stuff
22:57scare you a bit?
22:57Were you a bit hesitant?
22:58Not really.
23:00Every boy has that,
23:01like, scary half of them,
23:02don't they?
23:02You thought you could
23:03tame him?
23:04Yeah, I guess.
23:06Yeah, sure.
23:07Well, something's
23:07obviously worked.
23:08Something has worked.
23:09You do sort of
23:10seem to sound
23:11like the perfect boyfriend.
23:12I just wanted to check in
23:13with your very good friend,
23:13Jamie.
23:14Do you think
23:15Harry's the perfect boyfriend?
23:16Um, I think,
23:18yes, he's the perfect boyfriend.
23:20So sincere.
23:23That was a sarcasm.
23:24No, no, he's the perfect boyfriend.
23:28Keep on saying it,
23:29you might believe it.
23:30Yeah, yeah.
23:31Bye, Harry Barron.
23:32He's the perfect boyfriend.
23:35OK, we've got a question
23:35on the audience.
23:36Gemma.
23:36Hello, Gemma.
23:37What's your question?
23:38Harry, does it annoy
23:39that Melissa lights up
23:40every time she's around Jamie?
23:42Jamie's a funny guy.
23:43Like, I light up
23:44when I'm around him.
23:47Occasionally.
23:48Occasionally.
23:49OK, so no jealousy there?
23:50No.
23:53Where do you think
23:54this relationship is heading?
23:55I mean, not to put
23:56any pressure on you,
23:57but your name's mixed up.
23:58Harry, Melissa, Mary.
24:01Is it?
24:01Is it going that way?
24:03I mean, only time will tell.
24:06In terms of that.
24:06I'm very young.
24:07How young are you?
24:0921.
24:09Oh, yes, you've got...
24:10You need to shag
24:11a lot more people
24:11before you get up.
24:12Absolutely.
24:13It's very important.
24:14But things that are going
24:15really, really well for you guys
24:16are, I mean, one thing,
24:17you dress the same
24:18quite a lot of the time.
24:19I think we've got
24:20some pictures of this, actually.
24:21Let's have a look
24:21at Exhibit A.
24:23This one's sort of like...
24:24It's a good look, right?
24:25It is.
24:26You look like hot agents,
24:27like Mr and Mrs Smith.
24:28We've got the next one.
24:31I mean, it's a bit
24:32brother and sister,
24:32that one, isn't it?
24:33It's gone Game of Thrones.
24:34People say that.
24:34You do look similar.
24:36You do.
24:36I do, actually.
24:37Yeah, you do.
24:38Do you plan this
24:39or does it just sort of happen?
24:40I think it just sometimes
24:41just happens, doesn't it?
24:43I wouldn't say it was planned.
24:44Straight minds think alive.
24:44Do you have to lay out
24:46his outfits or anything for him?
24:47Oh, no.
24:47Not yet.
24:48It might have happened once.
24:49Once.
24:49And that was a weird
24:50leather outfit.
24:51Yeah, yeah, yeah.
24:51I knew it.
24:52I knew it.
24:53It's always the nice couples.
24:55Now, Melissa,
24:56I couldn't speak to you
24:57without mentioning
24:58genuinely my favourite clip
25:00from all of the series.
25:02Let's take a look at this.
25:02What is that?
25:07An albatross.
25:08That's an al...
25:09That's in the water, Melissa.
25:10That's not an albatross.
25:11That's a buffalo.
25:13Is it a buffalo?
25:13A backhead.
25:17I definitely love it.
25:19Brilliant wildlife commentary there.
25:21I'm actually quite an animal fan myself.
25:23I've got some pictures
25:24of my favourite animals.
25:26One of my favourites,
25:26this is the reticulated giraffe.
25:28And, of course,
25:32not forgetting
25:32the big angry bear.
25:36And finally,
25:38Melissa,
25:38I don't know
25:38if you can identify this one.
25:41Please say it.
25:42Seagulls?
25:43No.
25:45Albatross.
25:46Albatross.
25:49Melissa,
25:49no, don't like...
25:50That does look like a seagull.
25:51It does,
25:52but it's a different bird.
25:53It's a big bird.
25:54At least you can say
25:55water buffalo, though, mate,
25:56so don't worry.
25:57Every day is a school day.
25:59To be fair,
25:59that doesn't look like a seagull.
26:01If anyone's going to be
26:02the expert in the relationship,
26:04it will be you, Harry.
26:04So, well done.
26:05My friends,
26:06please give a big round of applause
26:07for Harry and Melissa.
26:13Still to come,
26:14are these beautiful faces
26:15in love,
26:16out of love,
26:16or simply as confused
26:17as the rest of us
26:18as far as their relationship goes?
26:20Find out after the break.
26:21CHEERING
26:22Welcome back
26:38to the Made in Chelsea
26:39end-of-season party
26:40and hello,
26:40Toff and Oli.
26:41Hello!
26:44Lovely to see you guys.
26:46Are you having a smashing time?
26:47The best.
26:48Absolutely.
26:49How drunk are you?
26:51Absolutely trolley.
26:53I expect nothing less.
26:54I'll show you.
26:55Do you enjoy your return?
26:57It's lovely.
26:58I love coming back.
26:59As an original,
27:00it's really lovely
27:00to come back and forth
27:01every now and then
27:02and see the family.
27:03It's very family.
27:04Does it feel like a family?
27:05It does,
27:05entirely, yeah.
27:06Very weird
27:07and wonderful family.
27:08They're all a bit weird,
27:09but they're all wonderful
27:09and they are family.
27:10Every family's got
27:11a couple of weirdos.
27:12It's true.
27:12I won't ask you
27:13to point out the weirdos
27:14since...
27:15Now, Toff,
27:16I do notice
27:17that you are sitting
27:18quite far away
27:19from the most handsome man
27:20in SW3.
27:22Well, James is over there.
27:23However,
27:24the most handsome man
27:25in Chelsea
27:26is sat next to me,
27:27but unfortunately
27:28he's gay,
27:28so...
27:29I can't have that one.
27:31But James is a close
27:32second,
27:32third or fourth.
27:34Oh, you've changed
27:35your tune slightly.
27:37Oh, well,
27:37and why didn't it work out?
27:38No one can tell.
27:39No one can tell.
27:40Guys, thank you so much
27:41for being here tonight.
27:41That's lovely to see you.
27:43Now, one thing
27:44that kept cropping up
27:45this series
27:46was celebrity lookalikes.
27:48According to Sam Prince,
27:49James looks like
27:50a young Hugh Hefner.
27:51Let's see if he's right.
27:53Yeah, I don't know.
27:53That's a bit unrealistic.
27:54There's no way
27:54James will be surrounded
27:55by that many women.
27:57Bless him.
27:58Sorry, sorry, James.
28:00And according to Sophie,
28:01Miles isn't a Raphael Nadal.
28:03He's a young Johnny Depp.
28:06There he is.
28:07That is probably
28:07what Miles' hair
28:08would actually look like
28:09if Sophie grabbed him
28:10from behind,
28:10something I think
28:11he's probably imagined
28:12a few times.
28:13But my absolute favourite
28:14was this one.
28:16You look like Thor,
28:17actually.
28:18Oh, no!
28:20And he was so happy
28:22with that.
28:22And he does look a bit
28:23like Thor, doesn't he?
28:25But that's not
28:26why I loved it.
28:28Because I think
28:28Ryan started
28:29to convince himself
28:30he actually was Thor,
28:32the god of thunder.
28:33as soon as Amelia
28:35put that thought
28:35in his muscly brain,
28:37Ryan started doing
28:37his hair like Thor's.
28:40And then he started
28:41thinking he had
28:42actual superpowers.
28:44I kind of moved
28:45heaven and earth.
28:46Moved heaven and earth?
28:47Basically moved
28:47heaven and earth.
28:50Three heaven and earth moves
28:51in one day.
28:52He must be knackered.
28:53He really is a superhero,
28:54only the kind of superhero
28:56who stays in at night
28:57with a cuddly seal pup.
29:00Adorable.
29:00Don't worry, Louise,
29:01I'm not going to ask
29:02about his massive hammer.
29:05But we couldn't really
29:06talk about lookalights
29:07without mentioning
29:07our very own
29:08Judge Rinder.
29:12What do you think
29:13of that one, Jamie?
29:14I look nothing like him,
29:15right?
29:17Judge Jamie,
29:18is James the most
29:19handsome man in SW3,
29:20quite possibly
29:21the whole borough?
29:24Yes!
29:25James!
29:30Oh, dear!
29:33Don't worry, Jamie,
29:34it happens to men
29:35all the time.
29:36Nothing to be embarrassed
29:36about there.
29:37Asshole.
29:38You're quite good at this,
29:39actually, Judge Jamie.
29:40Well done.
29:40Judge Jamie, everybody!
29:45Now, at the beginning
29:46of the series,
29:47who could have thought
29:47that the perfect union
29:49that is Div
29:49would be under threat?
29:51Hello, live and dig big.
29:53Now, would you like
29:55a painful reminder
29:56of your relationship
29:57trauma set to music?
29:58No.
29:59Here we go!
30:02I would honestly be happy
30:04to just be with him
30:05the rest of my life.
30:06It's like a proper love story.
30:07Have I become boring
30:08or something?
30:09Yes.
30:10And it's almost like
30:10you swallowed me up
30:12and there's like
30:12not much of me left.
30:15You're not feeling true
30:16to you, darling?
30:17Not really.
30:18Oh, maybe.
30:19And this isn't having a go
30:21at you.
30:21I'm telling you
30:21that I just
30:22don't feel like me anymore.
30:25Well, what do you
30:25want to do, then?
30:26I don't know
30:29what she's thinking.
30:30I don't know
30:30what she's doing.
30:32I do know
30:32deep down
30:33it's not right.
30:33I know it's not right.
30:35I think I do need
30:36to break up with her.
30:38You need to figure out
30:39what you want
30:39because I'm honestly,
30:40right now,
30:41I'm out.
30:42I want to be with you
30:42but we are definitely
30:43not right for each other.
30:44We're not.
30:44So, I'll leave.
30:45I'll leave her.
30:48I am, like,
30:49madly in love with you.
30:50I literally haven't slept
30:52and eaten.
30:53I just want you
30:54and us to be us again.
30:55You've been mugged off
30:56for two months.
30:57She will never change.
31:01Are you going to cry?
31:02That makes me
31:03want to cry a little bit.
31:04I think Melissa's
31:05crying already at it.
31:06I mean, I'm going to cry
31:07once, but...
31:07You can do it again,
31:08Liv.
31:08You can do it again.
31:09How are you guys?
31:10What is the current status?
31:12Yeah, we're back together.
31:13So, Liv,
31:17we've heard you say
31:18quite a few times
31:19that you didn't think
31:20the relationship was right
31:21for various reasons.
31:22What do you think has changed?
31:26When this was all going on,
31:27I was, like,
31:27vocalising a lot of things
31:28and not really
31:29spending time
31:31with just
31:32me and Digby.
31:33No, it was all
31:34just a bit of a mess,
31:35I think.
31:35So, now,
31:35do you feel like
31:36you can see a future?
31:37You think, guys,
31:37you guys are right together?
31:39Yeah.
31:40That was meant
31:41confidently, by the way.
31:42That's good.
31:43You're sweating.
31:45And Digby,
31:45when Sam said
31:46that you've been mugged off,
31:47do you feel like
31:48you've been mugged off?
31:49Do you feel like
31:49that's absolute nonsense?
31:50I think sometimes
31:51I've been mugged off, yes,
31:52but I don't think
31:53they truly know
31:54the ins and outs
31:55of our relationship.
31:58I think it's just
31:58one opinion being voiced.
32:00And I think
32:02Liv and I have discussed it
32:03and we've
32:05sorted everything out
32:07now and I think
32:07we're, yeah,
32:11looking forward.
32:12And Liv,
32:13how are things for you
32:13and Sam at the moment?
32:16Not great.
32:17I mean,
32:17as pink hair's gone,
32:18thank God.
32:19What do you reckon, Sam,
32:20how are you feeling
32:21about the whole situation?
32:23Um,
32:24Liv knows how I feel,
32:25but
32:26I think you are very young
32:28and I think,
32:28as we all are.
32:29Yeah.
32:29And I think that
32:30maybe it's not the right time.
32:33We'll learn from all this shit.
32:34Yeah.
32:36And Harry,
32:36as another close friend of Liv,
32:38do you think
32:38Sam was a bit harsh to Liv?
32:40I just want her to be happy.
32:41I want both of them
32:41to be happy
32:42and if being together
32:43is going to work
32:44and make them happy,
32:45then I've said
32:46that I will always support Liv
32:47in whatever decision
32:47she wants to do.
32:48So,
32:49I just want them to be happy.
32:50Great.
32:51Liv's always had
32:51quite a lot of support
32:52from your friends.
32:53With Digby,
32:54I feel like,
32:54Ryan,
32:55you were a real
32:56sort of Digby champion.
32:58I'm team Digby.
33:00You are team Digby.
33:00I am team Digby.
33:01And how do you feel
33:01about the guys
33:02reconciling?
33:03Yeah,
33:04if he's happy,
33:04I'm happy, yeah.
33:05Are you happy?
33:06Just to check.
33:07I'm happy, mate.
33:07Great.
33:08Everyone's happy?
33:09Yeah.
33:09What a great show.
33:10Lovely.
33:15I think we've,
33:16I think we've got a question
33:17actually from the audience.
33:19Kirstie,
33:19what's your question?
33:20Hiya.
33:21So, Liv,
33:22I really like you,
33:23but I'm wondering,
33:25why weren't you honest
33:26with Digby
33:26before you went away
33:27and discussed your feelings
33:28with everyone else?
33:30Because every time
33:31I tried to discuss things,
33:33it wasn't quite understood
33:34by Digby,
33:35and so we'd end up in rows.
33:37There was no point me
33:38constantly trying to fight
33:39with him
33:40about all this stuff.
33:42Yeah.
33:43Sure.
33:44Now,
33:44your parents are here.
33:45Mummy,
33:45Daddy Bentley.
33:46Hello.
33:47Hello.
33:48CHEERING
33:49How do you feel
33:50now that the guys
33:51are back together?
33:52Thrilled.
33:54Thrilled.
33:56I think they're a great couple.
33:58I really do.
33:59Go for it.
34:00Go for it.
34:01That's good.
34:02How does that make you feel,
34:03hearing that from your parents?
34:04Yeah, better.
34:05Better?
34:05Yeah.
34:06Judge Jamie,
34:06what are we saying?
34:07Div or no div?
34:08Div?
34:08I say div, man.
34:10100% all the way.
34:11Div.
34:12APPLAUSE
34:12Although you call me old-fashioned,
34:17I'm not sure it's wise
34:18to live by the decision
34:19of a pretend judge
34:20with a questionable
34:21relationship history,
34:22much more sensible
34:23to give the power
34:24to the people
34:25like they did with Brexit,
34:26and everyone's well happy
34:27about that, aren't they?
34:29So here's what we're going to do.
34:30Everyone in the room
34:31has a card.
34:32I've got one here
34:33under my bottom.
34:34Div on one side,
34:35no div on the other side,
34:37and then me and Jamie
34:39will decide what it is.
34:42Oh, your parents
34:42have got two hearts.
34:43You've got two divs.
34:44I'm not sure.
34:45I'm not sure.
34:47Well, I reckon the result
34:49is div.
34:50What do you reckon, Jamie?
34:51Div, it is.
34:51Div.
34:51Div.
34:52Div.
34:52Div.
34:52Div.
34:52Div.
34:53Div.
34:53Div.
34:54Div.
34:54Div.
34:54Div.
34:55Div.
34:55Div.
34:56Div.
34:56Div.
34:57Div.
34:58Div.
34:58Div.
34:59Div.
35:00Div.
35:01Div.
35:02Div.
35:03Div.
35:04Div.
35:05Div.
35:05Div.
35:06Div.
35:07Div.
35:08Div.
35:09Div.
35:10Div.
35:11Div.
35:12Div.
35:13Div.
35:14Div.
35:15Div.
35:16Div.
35:17Div.
35:18Div.
35:19Div.
35:20Div.
35:21Div.
35:22Div.
35:23Div.
35:24Div.
35:25Div.
35:26Div.
35:27Div.
35:28Div.
35:29Div.
35:30Div.
35:31Div.
35:32Div.
35:33Div.
35:34Div.
35:35this turtleneck thing you know I can't it looks great and your hair accentuates your dress
35:41the dress you're driveling some I know I just like somebody who can keep up with me really yeah
35:49I don't like to be someone's sugar mummy Sophie Herman no just ask me out for dinner yes oh my
35:59god I got this wrong didn't I Terry got this wrong now you seem to have managed to avoid dating anyone
36:09ever in Chelsea why is that it doesn't really like end up that well does it well tonight may be the
36:15night where we change your mind just to give these guys a little bit of hope I thought we play a
36:19favorite game of mine which is can you chin had up and vine vine mission that's exactly what I said
36:30that's exactly what you said snog marry avoid in German snog the word alone this is are you
36:39quivering in your boxes okay I have for you three eligible ish bachelors ish that you've all you
36:46which is quite impressive so let's talk about them like they're not here just like they like it
36:52okay first up you have your chauffeur miles what do you think of miles as a potential suitor um well
36:59he's about a decade too young and just basically detached from his abelico cord so no fine wow okay
37:05you're still within a shot mate I'm sure it's gonna be fine but he's super cute but just not the age
37:11group I'm looking just not the if he was another 10 years older then you think about it I'll take
37:16that okay fine go for it miles okay next your delectation is of course Sam Thompson does come
37:20with the Habs these days so I'm not sure but still a lovely lad would you be interested if there
37:25wasn't a house on the scene I mean looking at these stonewashed jeans with the shoes and oh class
37:33you just came back from Vegas so hell no right okay lots of positives there uh and over to the
37:41king of Iceland I think I don't know it's Frederick what do you reckon about Fred I always love a good
37:46Viking game so yeah don't we all babe don't we all okay so I'm gonna ask you now to decide who you
37:54want to pick let's break some hearts start with marry who we're marrying really like with the strongest
37:59thing right right marry marry marry obviously everyone knows I like a good Viking so Freddie
38:06Murray okay which leaves us with the two options snog and avoid do I have to pick like one to snog
38:18it will hurt like a bandage in there you have to pick one life is pain okay so avoid Sam sorry baby
38:27mouse still love you but these jeans and the Vegas grass is just not for me today
38:33oh fair enough so miles gets a snog yeah so excited and imaginary one so after the break I snuggle
38:46up with Ryan Louise and Alec what could possibly go wrong so you know they both have willies the willy
38:53bit is great because we weren't sure but now we've been out they both have them I can guarantee
38:57welcome back to the made in Chelsea end of season party now this is the final part of the show
39:10and as any Chelsea fan knows this is the bit where we're building up to an exciting ending
39:15so we're all dancing around in slow motion to edgy music everyone ready
39:19well done everyone absolute triumph great work great work now we're all invigorated to tackle the
39:44climax of today's show in the most awkward way possible with of course Louise Ryan and Alec
39:55well well well this is cozy isn't it guys very cozy Louise nestled in the middle there I'm actually quite used to it
40:04are you well no I mean I always seem to be up here sandwiched between my current boyfriend and my ex
40:10dude there's one it's too many of them too many of them but this is one to keep I'm guessing I mean yeah
40:15that's the last time the last time it will happen thank God now I don't know if anyone picked up on this
40:20but this series marked quite an important anniversary for one couple early gift for our two year anniversary
40:29so it was mine and Ryan's two year anniversary anniversary to your anniversary to your anniversary to your anniversary
40:35you seem to be a bit more interested in the anniversary than Louise and Ryan no you know there's no need
40:49to beat a dead horse for God's sakes it's not it's irrelevant this is water under the bridge for God's sake
40:55let's move on let's move on let it go let it go I'm whacking here sure that's the end of my racism towards you
41:00hope you enjoyed it very much uh my next question comes courtesy of a Mr. F Bull from Chelsea West London
41:06do you think if in some parallel universe where perhaps you didn't exist Ryan and Alec could be friends
41:15interesting thought Louise what are you thinking
41:17hmm they are so different they are so different you're at opposite ends of the spectrum
41:24it's an interesting question to see if these guys could be friends if you weren't around Louise
41:27and thanks to the magic of science we can find out
41:29humber humber humber happy anniversary sugar thank you beautiful thank you yes roses there you go Joe
41:37my favorite I can't believe it's been three years you mean three of the best years I do mean that
41:43actually I've got something special for you oh stop it you don't need to get me anything special man
41:47come on I do but this is for your right hand not your left my right okay give me your right beautiful
41:52okay now this is a promise that one day soon we're going to be together forever oh my god I will
41:58never take this off I mean who in their right mind would ever take off a promise for it I've never
42:04been so in love oh me too thank you so much come here
42:10I think we've got a question from the audience now Lawrence what's your question Ryan now that you
42:24and Alec are best of friends again is it likely that he's going to be invited to yours and Louise's wedding
42:28oh good question might be a bit too soon to answer that it's baby steps for me and this guy right
42:36now maybe the evening reception yeah maybe that yeah sure yeah now you mentioned this earlier it
42:42does seem odd that you were with Alec for so long when him and Ryan are so different do you think there
42:46are actually any similarities between them they're both actually they're both both men they're both
42:52they both have willies they both I I can't I'm actually I'm really struggling the willy bit is
43:00great because we were all but now we've been out they both have them I can guarantee well well
43:04that's gonna be on the Daily Mail very soon yes you two if we merge you together you would be
43:11like the perfect boyfriends be really interesting to see what happened actually physically if we
43:15merge you together let's take a second look at that oh there's the two of you set oh and if we merge
43:31that is a downgrade that's a downgrade that's a downgrade finally Alec the key question of the
43:37series I think everyone wants to know is your dad single because you and Louise might be over but
43:43what about your dad and mrs. T oh there's a match made in heaven what you reckon so you know my
43:51father is quite the eccentric he typically doesn't date anyone over the age of 30 it's not gonna work
43:58out his loss absolutely has no you could make the cut I mean you look not a day over 29 hey you two
44:05are both single there's a twist we weren't expecting you've been so great to watch thank you so much
44:13so we're almost at the end of the show so let's take a moment to reflect on what we've learned this series
44:30Mark Francis showed once again he is completely in touch with the real world a massive gold
44:36earring is the most dreadful thing I can think of in the evening we finally got an explanation as
44:44to why Boris Johnson seems to always talk absolute bollocks put a random letter a random random letter
44:51doesn't matter and then you construct a word around that first random letter and I think sounds BFF
44:57tough might just have invented my new favorite euphemism I can't come I'm totally sitting my
45:03neighbor frankly there are far too many good bits to mention so we've plunked them all together in a
45:09handy montage just for you you have to observe observe everything the good the bad and the ugly of
45:15course nothing too ugly there's nothing worse than a great outfit wasted on a bad time I am only truly
45:26contempt when I'm wearing really big pants no it's called a Bavarian front yard a Bavarian I love a
45:31Bavarian front yard Frankie I would never say I fucking hate you I fucking hate Frankie you're
45:36like a closet wanker your head must be so far up your ass you can fucking smell your prop side
45:43stop saying I'm fucking boring oh mate you are leave me the fuck alone I like this this is great
45:49any guy who's good at bed it's untrustworthy yes no one's to shag just a personality I am single
45:58and ready to mingle hey hey don't look at me when you're taking your pants off this just gets better
46:03and better I love you you need to make your mind up on what you want because if you don't know what
46:09to do what do you want I need you here with me but you're not you're over there talking to someone else
46:13and do you think your wife has stayed with you because you're quite good at boiling eggs very
46:17perceptive thought it's not that horny at the moment I don't know what it is darling did you think
46:21that this was a date yeah you're a ripe baruchnikov it has been said before 12 is 64