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FunTranscript
00:00Ooh, I'm gonna play my favorite game.
00:03What is the worst weather in the world?
00:05Ooh, now don't tell me. Let me guess.
00:06Who could it be? Could it be me?
00:12Charlotte's mother is many things.
00:14Charlotte, we're Jewish.
00:16Normal isn't one of them.
00:17Okay, how do I look?
00:19Like a woman about to go forth in sin.
00:21Oh, good. Exactly the look I was hoping for.
00:24That's how Rachel liked it.
00:25One, two, three, here I am!
00:27And that's why Charlotte didn't.
00:30Sometimes I feel like you're the child and I'm the grown-up.
00:34What is this?
00:35Cheeseball pick-me-ups and for dessert, marshmallow kebabs.
00:39Don't do anything I wouldn't do.
00:41I'm trying not to drive too fast.
00:43Well, after my mom, nothing seems fast.
00:45They have almost nothing in common.
00:47Or don't do anything I would.
00:49Are you coming home with me?
00:51I'm having a night.
00:52But there's one thing they do share.
00:55Men.
00:55You kissed him? How could you do that?
00:58Well, if I were you, Charlotte, I'd go easy.
00:59I know that you're planning a celibate life,
01:01but with half my chromosomes, I think that might be tough.
01:04Has your mother ever talked to you about sex?
01:07Oh, yeah.
01:09I can get pregnant if I hang my clothes next to a man's suit.
01:11We talk about everything.
01:12She's a wonderful mother.
01:13Why didn't you think you were pregnant?
01:17You're still a virgin.
01:21Trust me, I know about these things.
01:23She's doing this because she has a problem.
01:26And she's probably too frightened to talk to you about it.
01:28Why would she be frightened?
01:29Like mother, like daughter.
01:31Maybe your life works for you, but it doesn't work for me.
01:33And I want to stay!
01:35And do what?
01:35Finish high school!
01:37Great start!
01:37What's your major, town tramp?
01:39No, ma, and the town already has one.
01:43Cher.
01:44I don't always know what I'm doing.
01:47It's not like you and your sister came with a book of instructions.
01:49Bob Hoskills.
01:50You're an elephant woman, Rachel.
01:52I know.
01:53Winona Ryder.
01:54Mary O'Brien, she dances around naked,
01:57screaming about her boyfriend's quivering loins.
01:59Shut up, Charlotte.
02:00Shut up.
02:02Mermaids.
02:03I can still buy my mermaid watches.
02:05I'm going to get into my mermaid car and hit the mermaid rope.
02:08And get the mermaid out of here.
02:09All right.
02:10Oh, I just hope I'll be fresh for the party.