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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00So
00:01:00Hello?
00:01:05It's dead out here, and I'm hating you about now.
00:01:08What kind of agent are you?
00:01:09You'll find the road. Kimberly, look, it's 4 a.m. in L.A.
00:01:12Can I go back to sleep?
00:01:13I was up all night on the red eye,
00:01:15and it wasn't first class like you promised.
00:01:17Give me credit for the car. Now you're right, huh?
00:01:19Yeah, whatever.
00:01:21By the way, these directions suck.
00:01:23This project sucks.
00:01:25Hey, it's a great opportunity.
00:01:27It's a reality show pilot.
00:01:28Hey, you sang your way to the top 7 the last time you were on TV.
00:01:31Now you're the star.
00:01:32You're Kimberly fucking Caldwell.
00:01:34You're the only celebrity they've got.
00:01:36If I'm such a celebrity, Tommy, get me a movie.
00:01:39Look, Camster, your Q score's gonna go way up,
00:01:41and you'll have a chance to win 90 grand.
00:01:43I thought it was 100.
00:01:45Well, I get 10%, remember?
00:01:49Wait, there's a turn off.
00:01:55Look, I've got power yoga in like two hours.
00:01:58Did you find it yet?
00:01:59I don't know.
00:02:00There's some old paper mill here,
00:02:01but there's nothing about it on the map.
00:02:03Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's gotta be it.
00:02:04Look, Kimbo, you can't afford to make a wrong turn here.
00:02:06You really don't have the time.
00:02:22Why am I here?
00:02:23Because this business is tough.
00:02:25Wait, you're right now.
00:02:26Michael, Lance, you're the one who needs to factor here.
00:02:28Whoa.
00:02:29Whoa.
00:02:30Fuck.
00:02:53Oh, my God.
00:02:54Oh, my God.
00:02:55Oh, my God.
00:02:56Oh, my God.
00:03:04Don't be dead.
00:03:05Don't be dead.
00:03:06Don't be dead.
00:03:25Don't be dead.
00:03:26Don't be dead.
00:03:27Help.
00:03:28Help.
00:03:32Shit.
00:03:34Anybody?
00:03:40Don't worry.
00:03:41I'm gonna get you help, okay?
00:03:44No.
00:03:45No, please.
00:03:46Please.
00:03:47No, don't die! Come on, breathe, breathe!
00:04:01I'm here. I'm here. I'm here.
00:04:17No!
00:04:44Help me!
00:04:47I'm here.
00:04:49I'm here.
00:04:51I'm here.
00:04:53I'm here.
00:04:55I'm here.
00:04:57I'm here.
00:04:59I'm here.
00:05:01I'm here.
00:05:03It sounds like he's coming out.
00:05:07I'm here.
00:05:09I'm here.
00:05:11I have a plan.
00:05:13I'm here.
00:05:15it's the end of the world society and chaos governments no longer in control
00:05:30the world has been devastated by a catastrophic disaster but you're still alive
00:05:35overnight you've been thrust back into the stone age modern conveniences are a thing of the past
00:05:43would you have the guts to survive i am retired marine colonel dale murphy welcome to the
00:05:50apocalypse over the next five days these six contestants will be put to the ultimate test
00:05:56i'm going to be the ultimate survivor because on my last show i learned more than anything
00:06:00what it takes to win so what's the tattoo it's the infinity sign because i want to be remembered
00:06:07forever friends call me jonesy fearless is my middle name
00:06:12hi i'm elena i'm like a fox sexy sleek and i always get what i want
00:06:28nina i'm a survivor because i know there's only one person i can count on myself
00:06:36i'm jake three surgeries on my rotator cuff destroying my shot of the pro football career
00:06:40but not my drive to win amber one core of duty in iraq they call me la conquistadora
00:06:48enough said semper fi these six contestants have been thrown together in a devastated wasteland
00:06:55with only the clothes on their backs and the will to survive rain or shine in five days only
00:07:02one will remain welcome to the apocalypse
00:07:06well what do you think man we spent all last night cutting it
00:07:18brando eat your heart out you're the real deal yo that's why the network loves you
00:07:24it rocks em and straight we're going to series for sure
00:07:29today's a good day to die where's my producer
00:07:36it's brilliant michael really thank you
00:07:38you know i still don't see what makes this show any different from that other survival show
00:07:46i don't watch television it's supposed to take place at the end of the world man that's what makes
00:07:50a difference look you're not on some summer resort trying to make alliances you're trying to be the
00:07:54last man standing after the apocalypse let's kill a middle america family entertainment mate
00:07:59booyah
00:07:59yes that's right i'm so there dude
00:08:03i know i plan on being the last one in the standing
00:08:06chill ramba the prize money's gonna be mine
00:08:09oh you two girls could mud wrestle for it the rating's gold
00:08:12ew
00:08:13you stupid man i ain't tapping that
00:08:15hey some parrot heads
00:08:17nice shirts boys yeah make fun all you want
00:08:21well while you hollywood freaks are out here sleeping on rocks
00:08:24us parrot heads will be in margaritaville back at the hotel
00:08:27the woods are all wired up 32 cameras and mics ready to go
00:08:32oh you the man wojo listen just make sure everything's copacetic with neil okay
00:08:36yeah see you in five days enjoy the great outdoors tarantino
00:08:40nice i could help you spread it on all those hard to reach places
00:08:45you know if i hadn't seen you eat shit the x games last june
00:08:49maybe you'd stand a chance
00:08:51hey i made the street comp finals
00:08:53okay here's a clue
00:08:54i only give it up to winners
00:08:56not guys who choke
00:08:57i'll give you something to choke on
00:09:00i wish i had abs like yours
00:09:11i'll do 200 of these a day
00:09:13i guess i'll just stick to my low carb diet and get the best
00:09:17wow where the hell's kimberly
00:09:19well still no answer
00:09:21god damn it i knew that prima donna was a problem when we cast her
00:09:24yeah but she's got those angelina jolie lips
00:09:26you know what i'm talking about don't you
00:09:28it's gonna be long five days
00:09:30all right we can't wait any longer i gotta shoot like now
00:09:32you're the producer pop tart
00:09:35that's why you make the big bucks what are we gonna do
00:09:37uh well we can't recast
00:09:39so we're just gonna have to go with five
00:09:40whoa whoa no wrong you know the show
00:09:42all i have to do is shoot your character intro and we're good to go
00:09:44no i don't think so
00:09:46what other choice do we have
00:09:47um
00:09:50okay yeah what the hell
00:09:53that's it show them what you're made of
00:09:55all right boys and girls listen up
00:09:58we have a half mile hike to the survivalist camp
00:10:00let's go it's time to move out
00:10:01all right everybody glad you're getting let's get going this is it
00:10:05hey michael
00:10:06you know i'm a complete geek without my blackberry and my soul
00:10:10i mean there's a good chance i'll be the first to go
00:10:12come on just change your clothes
00:10:14put on some bug spray you'll be great even without your grandberry
00:10:18okay i'll do it for you
00:10:23but um mara it's em
00:10:27no not michael yes i know okay sorry
00:10:30god who am i kidding
00:10:45okay we're moving out
00:10:49you're all alone out here so let's close ranks and stick together
00:10:52hey everyone's leaving
00:11:01hey everyone's leaving
00:11:05what we're about to start the game it's time to go
00:11:09hi i'm jake you're nina right
00:11:10look i'm just here for the money not to make friends okay
00:11:14wow okay fair enough
00:11:17i saw you drop this while you're getting out of the rv
00:11:24now em said no food
00:11:26oh well i'm vegan
00:11:28that might be the only thing i can eat out here
00:11:31oh well you can always go chew on a tree
00:11:33this is cheating
00:11:35sue me
00:11:38give it back
00:11:39i would have but since there's no need to be making friends
00:11:43that's good
00:11:50all right everybody ready
00:11:56and action
00:11:58you cannot survive the apocalypse alone
00:12:01so you make friendships
00:12:02you perform tasks together
00:12:04you figure out who you need to ride out the chaos
00:12:08and who's expendable
00:12:09today we're gonna split into three teams
00:12:12go out and search for food
00:12:13the number each of you picked
00:12:15decides your teammate
00:12:16number one all the way baby
00:12:19you and me baby
00:12:22all the way
00:12:23who's got a number two
00:12:26i did a number two back at the gas station
00:12:28come on dude that was funny
00:12:31oh sweet
00:12:36i guess you and me are a team
00:12:38hello
00:12:40all right boys and girls
00:12:41it's the end of the world
00:12:42and the odds are against you from the start
00:12:44radiation poisoning is a reality
00:12:46that's why you're all wearing these
00:12:48every day you will be given a radiation elimination card
00:12:52and one of them is already contaminated
00:12:55at the end of the day
00:12:57the player holding the simulated radiated card
00:12:59is dead
00:13:00don't worry
00:13:01it just means you're disqualified
00:13:03but you have a chance to survive the day
00:13:06by giving your card
00:13:07to another player
00:13:08and surviving the radiation elimination
00:13:11it's a test of your personal will
00:13:14your endurance
00:13:15and fate
00:13:16and in the apocalypse
00:13:18your fate can change
00:13:20like that
00:13:21wild animals
00:13:22bacterial infection
00:13:24and post-apocalyptic crazies
00:13:26are all around you
00:13:27waiting to take you down
00:13:29they're represented
00:13:31by these
00:13:33we call them
00:13:35twists of fate
00:13:36they are survival challenges
00:13:38and dozens of them
00:13:39are scattered all over the playing area
00:13:42you trigger the motion sensor
00:13:43and you hear this
00:13:45explain your survival challenge
00:13:53accomplish the challenge
00:13:56and you earn the right
00:13:57to take your radiated card
00:13:59and give it to any player you choose
00:14:01and automatically survive the day
00:14:03we are going to assemble back here
00:14:08at 1800 hours
00:14:09and see who will perish in the chaos
00:14:11and who is one step closer
00:14:13to 100,000 dollars
00:14:15good luck to all of you
00:14:16remember
00:14:18you have to work as a team
00:14:20to survive the game
00:14:22but only one of you
00:14:23can be the ultimate survivalist
00:14:25after
00:14:25the apocalypse
00:14:27and cut
00:14:28nice work Dale
00:14:30alright
00:14:31I'm ready for my 15 minutes Hollywood
00:14:33okay everybody
00:14:35the headsets are transmitting
00:14:39audio and video
00:14:40back to the edit bay
00:14:41so don't take them off
00:14:42and also
00:14:43cell phones
00:14:44PDAs etc
00:14:45give them to Neil
00:14:46he's going to put them in the RV
00:14:47have fun
00:14:53I've got to go take a wee piss
00:14:55light on them
00:14:55okay
00:14:56I'm going to follow Elena
00:14:57and Jake
00:14:58first as planned
00:14:59just remember everybody
00:15:00let's make it feel
00:15:01real
00:15:01okay
00:15:03hey
00:15:06what's up
00:15:06I'm so going to suck at this
00:15:08why did I let you talk me into it
00:15:10because I'm irresistible
00:15:12you're a jerk
00:15:15okay now
00:15:16colonel
00:15:19what happens if we lose the elimination round
00:15:21we go back to the RV
00:15:23and you drown your sorrows with me and Jack Daniels
00:15:26until the game is done
00:15:26well that sounds like fun
00:15:28but don't worry sweetness
00:15:29I won't let you lose
00:15:30and if any of those pig fucking hillbillies come around
00:15:32I got you back
00:15:33hey boathead
00:15:34I grew up two counties from here
00:15:35I didn't have red sex with a pig in my life
00:15:37and I promote stereotypes
00:15:39are you son
00:15:39outstanding
00:15:41people in these parts
00:15:42might not take that talk too well
00:15:44you might want to put a lid on it
00:15:45it's not like with you funny man
00:15:46yes sir
00:15:48that's cool
00:15:55you guys got the military bond thing
00:15:56happening
00:15:57Semper Fi and shit
00:15:58yeah
00:15:58and we both hate assholes
00:16:00shit
00:16:06the techies were supposed to finish setting these up
00:16:08before they left
00:16:09put your producer hat away
00:16:11and get your head in the game
00:16:12I'll set these up
00:16:13I got time to kill anyway
00:16:14thank you
00:16:15god I wish I didn't have to do this
00:16:17old Mikey really put you on the spot didn't he
00:16:20I guess he thinks it would be entertaining
00:16:21to send a city girl into the woods
00:16:23cruel if you ask me
00:16:25but don't worry
00:16:25there's something in you
00:16:27he doesn't see that I do
00:16:28you may be pretty
00:16:29but you're tougher than you think
00:16:30you'll be alright
00:16:32so me
00:16:37what makes me
00:16:37what makes me know that one
00:16:39what makes me know that one
00:16:41is
00:16:41what makes me know that one
00:16:42is
00:16:43what makes me know that one
00:16:43is
00:16:44what makes me know that one
00:16:44is
00:16:45what makes me know that one
00:16:46is
00:16:47what makes me know that one
00:16:48is
00:16:49what makes me know that one
00:16:50is
00:16:51what makes me know that one
00:16:52is
00:16:53what makes me know that one
00:16:54is
00:16:55what makes me know that one
00:16:56is
00:16:57what makes me know that one
00:16:58is
00:16:59what makes me know that one
00:17:00is
00:17:01what makes me know that one
00:17:02is
00:17:03what makes me know that one
00:17:04is
00:17:05what makes me know that one
00:17:06is
00:17:07I don't know.
00:17:37I don't know.
00:18:07It's the kind of thing America loves in its reality shows, right?
00:18:12America's sick.
00:18:14Yeah.
00:18:16I hate reality shows.
00:18:18They're pretty idiotic.
00:18:20And why are you doing this?
00:18:22Because it's my job.
00:18:24It's Em's first project and just trying to be supportive.
00:18:27If I was his girlfriend, I would have said,
00:18:29this sucks, you're on your own.
00:18:30Come on, no you wouldn't.
00:18:31Yeah, I would.
00:18:32If you haven't noticed, I can be a bit of a bitch.
00:18:37Well, if you hate reality shows, then why are you doing this?
00:18:41Let's just keep going.
00:18:43Gotta find some food.
00:18:44Let's just keep going.
00:19:14You fucking weekend warriors.
00:19:44You better stand down or someone's gonna get hurt.
00:20:12Broken arrow, that's really gonna help us hunt for food.
00:20:41A spear.
00:20:44I like it.
00:20:45It's so long and hard.
00:20:48I'm just goofing.
00:20:49Come on.
00:20:50I read your bio back in the RV.
00:20:52West Point, 4-0 average.
00:20:54You're brainy.
00:20:55That's tight.
00:20:56I bet you're a reader.
00:20:58What's your favorite book, huh?
00:21:01I'm in the cat in the hat myself.
00:21:03So you did the whole tour of duty in Iraq thing too?
00:21:06That's cool.
00:21:07I'm more of a pacifist myself.
00:21:08But hey, I can get down with the patriotism.
00:21:09A woman in uniforms if they're not.
00:21:11Will you shut up?
00:21:12Oh, she talks.
00:21:16We've been hiking for three hours.
00:21:18But we haven't seen or heard any animals or birds.
00:21:21It's dead quiet out here.
00:21:23It's freaky, right?
00:21:24It's like we're all alone.
00:21:25We could get all nasty.
00:21:26Nobody would see a thing.
00:21:27Except for 30 million people.
00:21:29Come on.
00:21:30You're into me like a little bit.
00:21:32You just don't get it, do you?
00:21:34I'm not into men.
00:21:36You're a lesbian?
00:21:39How hot is that?
00:21:43All right, let me just get a focus team.
00:21:45And action.
00:21:48So I'm at the two.
00:21:49I'm at the one.
00:21:50I jump, I leap.
00:21:51Bam.
00:21:52Shoulder was never the same.
00:21:55Killed my chances at a pro career.
00:21:57Just like that.
00:22:00It's funny.
00:22:01Because you never know when your life's gonna change.
00:22:03Man, I wanted to be in the NFL so bad.
00:22:06Since I was six.
00:22:08Oh, honey, I totally understand where you're coming from.
00:22:12No, dude, don't look in the lens.
00:22:15So, um, then after college you just bounced around,
00:22:19trying to find yourself?
00:22:21Yeah, well, this opportunity came up, you know,
00:22:23to be on this TV show.
00:22:24I can't throw a football no more, but I'm still athletic.
00:22:27I figured I'd use the talents that God gave me, right?
00:22:31Well, we'll have to thank God later.
00:22:35Yeah, right.
00:22:36Thank God later.
00:22:37Um, you know, I think I hit the river this way.
00:22:39Yeah.
00:22:41Come on.
00:22:46God didn't give you a pair of balls?
00:22:51How about we take a break?
00:22:53We have to find food.
00:22:55If we prove that we're the best at it,
00:22:57then it's less likely anybody will give us the radiation card.
00:23:01I haven't seen anything to eat.
00:23:06Holy shit!
00:23:07It's one of those twists of faiths.
00:23:08I set it off.
00:23:09Where is it?
00:23:13You've been infected by anthrax from a nearby laboratory explosion.
00:23:16An antidote can be found by the river.
00:23:18You have two minutes.
00:23:19God, I would get this.
00:23:20Yeah, well, good luck.
00:23:23Go.
00:23:24Hey, come and shoot.
00:23:25We need your footage.
00:23:38I think I see the river!
00:23:39Where?
00:23:49What do you need now?
00:23:51That!
00:23:52One minute rebating.
00:24:0545 seconds rebating.
00:24:0630 seconds rebating.
00:24:1730 seconds rebating.
00:24:1830 seconds rebating.
00:24:28Whoa!
00:24:29Whoa!
00:24:30Whoa!
00:24:31Whoa!
00:24:36I can't believe I did it!
00:24:37You kicked off!
00:24:38Awesome.
00:24:39Alright guys, one sec.
00:24:40Go.
00:24:41Go.
00:24:42Go.
00:24:43Go.
00:24:44Go.
00:24:45Go.
00:24:46Go.
00:24:47Go.
00:24:48Go.
00:24:49Go.
00:24:50Go.
00:24:51Go.
00:24:52Go.
00:24:53Go.
00:24:54Go.
00:24:55Go.
00:24:56Go.
00:24:57Go.
00:24:58Go.
00:24:59Go.
00:25:00Go.
00:25:01Go.
00:25:02Go.
00:25:03Go.
00:25:04Go.
00:25:05Get off the gaps.
00:25:10Go.
00:25:11Go at your hammå˜.
00:25:12All right, guys.
00:25:13One sec.
00:25:14Oh, OK.
00:25:15Keep it loose.
00:25:16You ready?
00:25:17Go.
00:25:18Phew!
00:25:19It is hot out here.
00:25:20You know what?
00:25:21I think we can fish later.
00:25:23I think I need to, uh, cool off.
00:25:38So, do you want to get, uh, what?
00:25:47What are you doing?
00:25:49Em, what the fuck?
00:25:51I am standing here giving it my all, and this jock is just standing there.
00:25:54Cut!
00:25:56Okay, what's going on, man?
00:25:59Look, man, I want to create chemistry between you two, okay?
00:26:02You guys are like the sex of this thing.
00:26:04Mm-hmm.
00:26:04You said you wanted a family reality show.
00:26:07Well, sex is America's dirty little secret.
00:26:09You can't talk about it at church, but at home on TV,
00:26:12people want to see hard bodies, wet and glistening in the sun.
00:26:15Look, if I do that, I have a mother and six nieces that would never speak to me again.
00:26:18Look, man, people want to be entertained.
00:26:21Lane and I are just greasing the wheels a little.
00:26:23Greasing the wheels?
00:26:25Yeah.
00:26:25Well, look, man, I'm here to play the game, okay?
00:26:27Now, you can go grease the wheels.
00:26:29You can try catching some fish.
00:26:31Huh.
00:26:31I'll see if I can find something in the woods.
00:26:34Grease the wheels.
00:26:35You two what?
00:26:37We'll catch y'all later.
00:26:39Catch y'all later.
00:26:40Great.
00:26:41I want a ditty.
00:26:41I got a boy scout.
00:26:46Em, we don't need Jake.
00:26:49I'm all the sex that you want.
00:26:52You're hot, but it's not the same thing.
00:26:55Hey, where are you going?
00:26:56What, are you going to go shoot your girlfriend?
00:26:57No.
00:27:00Actually, I've got to rethink the storylines.
00:27:03Hey, listen.
00:27:04I'm doing this gig for, like, free.
00:27:06No, you don't get it.
00:27:12I'm like a complete spaz when it comes to anything even remotely athletic.
00:27:16I'm sorry I didn't help.
00:27:18You're just playing the game, I understand.
00:27:21I just really need this money.
00:27:23Look, I'm not going to give you my radiation card if that's what you're worried about.
00:27:27I'm just thrilled I actually get to live another day.
00:27:29Look, I know it hurts, but you don't need a piece of shit like that in your life.
00:27:37You're better off without him.
00:27:41I thought he was the one you knew.
00:27:50I've known scumbags like this all my life.
00:27:53Six months ago, I caught my fiancé in bed with my best friend.
00:27:57I don't feel me.
00:28:00Top it off?
00:28:02He used my credit cards to put me into major debt.
00:28:05That's why I have to win this game.
00:28:08The sooner you realize you can only depend on yourself, the better off you'll be.
00:28:16Come on.
00:28:18Take a breath.
00:28:19Let's go down there and kick his ass.
00:28:23Is that what you did to your fiancé?
00:28:25Put him in the hospital.
00:28:26Come on.
00:28:29No.
00:28:31I'll just deal with it my own way.
00:28:33It's what he deserves.
00:28:36It's not me.
00:28:38Come on.
00:28:39No!
00:28:40I'm not like you.
00:28:41I don't want to be.
00:28:44I'm sorry.
00:28:45That came out wrong.
00:28:47It's okay.
00:28:47Okay.
00:28:48Come on.
00:28:57Come on.
00:28:57Just tell me one hot experience that you had.
00:28:59Oh, God.
00:29:00No, I can even get you on Howard Stern if it's good.
00:29:02I got a buddy who works in the studio in New York.
00:29:03You're such a moron.
00:29:04Yeah, but we're on the same team here.
00:29:06You know?
00:29:06Just the same team.
00:29:08All right.
00:29:09All right, all right, all right.
00:29:09I'll stop.
00:29:10I'll stop.
00:29:11I swear.
00:29:12Cross my heart.
00:29:13No more sex talk.
00:29:14From now on, you'll be the uptight lesbian sister I never had.
00:29:17Truce?
00:29:17Oh.
00:29:23And now that we're family, tell me, who went down and who first?
00:29:26Bendejo.
00:29:27I'm kidding.
00:29:28I'm just...
00:29:30Is that barbecue?
00:29:36Mission fucking accomplished.
00:29:38Wait.
00:29:38This is too easy.
00:29:40Maybe this is a trap to make us lose the game.
00:29:42What trap?
00:29:42It's a hunter's camp, sister.
00:29:43What are you doing?
00:29:44I'm starved, and damn, that smells awesome.
00:29:46Well, if this is a real hunter's camp, we can't just steal his food.
00:29:49Why the hell not?
00:29:50It's a survival of the fittest kind of thing.
00:29:51You know, finders keepers.
00:29:52You're a lesbian, we're your cojones.
00:29:54Look, if we bring this back to share with the others, nobody's going to want us out of
00:29:57the game, huh?
00:29:59Ow!
00:30:00What?
00:30:01It's hot?
00:30:12Finally, we're a team.
00:30:14Don't push your luck.
00:30:16Mm, pork.
00:30:19Man, these hillbillies really know their barbecue.
00:30:21They're barbecue.
00:31:51Hello?
00:31:53Hello?
00:31:57I can't just walk into somebody's house.
00:32:03Hello?
00:32:05I need to use your phone please.
00:32:09We shouldn't be here.
00:32:13Then just wait for me outside.
00:32:15I want to make one phone call and I'm gone.
00:32:19Hello?
00:32:21Hello?
00:32:25Hello?
00:32:27Hello?
00:32:31Hello?
00:32:33Hello?
00:32:35Hello?
00:32:37Hello?
00:32:41Hello?
00:32:43Hello?
00:32:45Hello?
00:32:47Hello?
00:32:49Hello?
00:32:51Hello?
00:32:53Hello?
00:32:55Hello?
00:32:57Hello?
00:32:59Holy shit.
00:33:01The whole family's deformed.
00:33:05God, look at the twins.
00:33:07God, look at the twins.
00:33:15You all right?
00:33:17Hold on, don't drop her.
00:33:19No!
00:33:21No!
00:33:23No!
00:33:25No!
00:33:27No!
00:33:28The baby's coming now.
00:33:29Let me stay here.
00:33:30But I don't think she wants.
00:33:31No!
00:33:32No!
00:33:33No!
00:33:34No!
00:33:35No!
00:33:36No!
00:33:37No!
00:33:38No!
00:33:39No!
00:33:40No!
00:34:01No!
00:34:10Oh, my God!
00:34:17Just hold on!
00:34:24Go! Go!
00:34:29Dammit!
00:34:30What do we do now?
00:34:32Help me!
00:34:41Fire!
00:34:49There's light! There's light!
00:35:10No!
00:35:13No!
00:35:27Mom...
00:35:29Mom...
00:35:31Ah!
00:36:01Ah!
00:36:11Ah!
00:36:12Howdy.
00:36:22Ah!
00:36:31I don't know.
00:37:01I don't know.
00:37:31I don't know.
00:38:01I don't know.
00:38:31I wouldn't want to mess things up with Mara.
00:38:32You know, I think she's the one.
00:38:35Whatever.
00:38:37All right, then back to the RV.
00:38:38You coming?
00:38:39Yeah, you might have to go back.
00:38:41He's going to stay here in town.
00:38:46Tell Mara I say hi.
00:38:48You're the star.
00:38:53Em?
00:39:02Em?
00:39:16Is that you?
00:39:18Don't screw around.
00:39:21It's not cool.
00:39:22Oh, shit.
00:39:34Oh, shit.
00:39:36Okay, what's the challenge?
00:39:45Fuck.
00:39:46Fuck.
00:39:54Oh, my God.
00:40:24Oh, my God.
00:40:54Oh, my God.
00:41:24Oh, my God.
00:41:54Oh, my God.
00:42:24Oh, my God.
00:42:54Oh, my God.
00:43:24Neil.
00:43:26I guess you're not here.
00:43:28All right.
00:43:29Let's see what we can see.
00:43:35Run.
00:43:36No, run.
00:43:36What?
00:43:44Oh, my God.
00:43:47Oh, my God.
00:43:59Neil, I can't figure, this seems fun.
00:44:02Great, you know, you spend money on film school just to...
00:44:08It's fun.
00:44:12One, two, three, four, one.
00:44:14It works.
00:44:16Looks good.
00:44:17What is that, Nino?
00:44:29Damn it!
00:44:33Neil, can't move!
00:44:34We're hardwired in!
00:44:37Get out of here!
00:44:50Let's go!
00:44:59Ah!
00:45:00Ah!
00:45:01Ah!
00:45:02Ah!
00:45:03Ah!
00:45:04Ah!
00:45:05Ah!
00:45:06Ah!
00:45:07Ah!
00:45:08Ah!
00:45:09Ah!
00:45:10Ah!
00:45:11Ah!
00:45:12Ah!
00:45:13Ah!
00:45:14Ah!
00:45:15Ah!
00:45:16Ah!
00:45:17Ah!
00:45:21Ah!
00:45:25That's cool.
00:45:26Oh, right.
00:45:27Go off for another one, huh?
00:45:28Mmm!
00:45:29The only white meat.
00:45:30If this is what Armageddon's like, bring it on, baby.
00:45:32Yeah, maybe next time you should search for a bib.
00:45:35I'm so glad I ran into you guys.
00:45:36Yeah, and don't forget who got to the nosh, dude.
00:45:38You win the chance to get rid of that nuclear card,
00:45:40send it someplace else.
00:45:41No worries.
00:45:45Hey, where's Em and Elena?
00:45:46Oh.
00:45:47Back at the river, shooting the unrated version of the DVD.
00:45:50I'll see you two later.
00:45:52Oh!
00:45:53I can't even move.
00:45:55I'm so stuffed, sex is gonna have to wait.
00:45:57Shit ghost.
00:45:59Ow!
00:46:00You nasty.
00:46:01If you win, what will you do with the money?
00:46:03Well, when I win,
00:46:04I'm gonna throw the most outrageous beach party in history.
00:46:06You're a cliché dude.
00:46:08How about you?
00:46:10Well, when I win,
00:46:12I plan on getting my degree in sports medicine.
00:46:14Since my arm won't let me play football anymore,
00:46:16I figure I can still help others, you know?
00:46:18Stay in the game.
00:46:19Can't be a football hero,
00:46:20so you'll settle for a hero of any kind.
00:46:22Yeah.
00:46:24Something like that.
00:46:25Nice to know there's still hope for mankind.
00:46:28Dude,
00:46:29if you're saying this to get in her pants,
00:46:30forget about it.
00:46:31She doesn't play on our team.
00:46:32Shut up.
00:46:33How about you?
00:46:34What you plan on doing with the cash?
00:46:36I owe my father a bunch of money.
00:46:39If I win,
00:46:40I am free and clear of him for good.
00:46:42Father?
00:46:43He doesn't approve of my lifestyle.
00:46:46That's nothing to do with me.
00:46:48Hmm.
00:46:49I guess you can't choose family.
00:46:51Huh.
00:46:52Man,
00:46:53Em is so screwed.
00:46:54He wanted a show for middle America,
00:46:56but he hired a lesbo,
00:46:58a sensitive jock,
00:46:59a bipolar vegan,
00:47:00an extreme fuck-up,
00:47:01and Miss Hollywood.
00:47:02Dude,
00:47:03we're the red state cast from hell.
00:47:07Oh, God.
00:47:09Yo, Nina.
00:47:11You all right, Nina?
00:47:12Oh.
00:47:13Maura.
00:47:14Dad.
00:47:15What happened to you?
00:47:16We have to get out of here.
00:47:17What?
00:47:18Now.
00:47:19They killed her.
00:47:20Hey, look, calm down.
00:47:21They'll find us here.
00:47:22Take a deep breath, okay?
00:47:23Who will find us here?
00:47:24What are you talking about?
00:47:25These hillbilly freaks.
00:47:27They killed Maura,
00:47:29and they tied her to the hood of their truck.
00:47:32We have to get out of here.
00:47:33Right now.
00:47:37This is awesome.
00:47:38What's wrong with you?
00:47:39I'm not kidding.
00:47:40Come on.
00:47:41It's part of the game.
00:47:42Post-apocalyptic crazies roaming through the forest.
00:47:44It's not a game, okay?
00:47:47These hillbillies were eating her finger.
00:47:49Hillbilly cannibals.
00:47:50Em is a genius.
00:47:52Stop laughing.
00:47:53Hold on.
00:47:54Stop laughing, man, okay?
00:47:55Hold on.
00:47:56It's Maura.
00:47:57She's Em's girlfriend.
00:47:58She was in on it.
00:47:59I got this.
00:48:00Special effects.
00:48:03What I saw was real.
00:48:05We need to get out of here.
00:48:07Now.
00:48:08Please.
00:48:09Yeah.
00:48:10Yeah, yeah, we're going.
00:48:11This is just a test to see if we bug out.
00:48:13These kind of shows always screw with their contestants.
00:48:15You guys want to go?
00:48:16Go ahead.
00:48:17I'm staying put and winning the 100 Gs.
00:48:18Then they'll kill you too!
00:48:19Ah!
00:48:20What?
00:48:21Ah!
00:48:22No!
00:48:23Nina?
00:48:24Nina!
00:48:26Get the fuck...
00:48:27That's Kimberly's tattoo.
00:48:28Holy shit.
00:48:29That's her leg.
00:48:30That's it.
00:48:31Game's over.
00:48:32Amber, let's go.
00:48:33Come on.
00:48:34Josie!
00:48:35They're fucking cannibals, dude!
00:48:36Shut up!
00:48:37Where the hell's the RV?
00:48:38Just over the ridge.
00:48:39Keep quiet and keep moving.
00:48:40Okay?
00:48:41Stop it.
00:48:42Ah!
00:48:43Ah!
00:48:44Ah!
00:48:45Ah!
00:48:46Ah!
00:48:47Ah!
00:48:48Ah!
00:48:49Ah!
00:48:50Ah!
00:48:51Ah!
00:48:52Ah!
00:48:53Ah!
00:48:54Ah!
00:48:55Ah!
00:48:56Ah!
00:48:57Ah!
00:48:58Ah!
00:48:59Ah!
00:49:00Ah!
00:49:01Ah!
00:49:02Ah!
00:49:03Ah!
00:49:04Ah!
00:49:05Ah!
00:49:06My foot!
00:49:07Ah!
00:49:08Let me look at it.
00:49:09No, I'm a shark, man.
00:49:10I gotta keep moving or I die.
00:49:11You know what I'm saying?
00:49:12Josie, shut the fuck up.
00:49:13Look, you guys get to the RV, okay?
00:49:14We'll be right behind you.
00:49:16This is gonna suck.
00:49:17Ah!
00:49:18Shit!
00:49:20Oh.
00:49:21I need to put pressure on that.
00:49:22Come on.
00:49:23Give me your wristband.
00:49:24No!
00:49:25Look, you don't have to hide anymore.
00:49:30How'd you know?
00:49:31When I found out I never played football again, I spiraled down pretty hard.
00:49:35My therapist told me I should sit in one of her suicide support groups.
00:49:38You know?
00:49:39Give me a better perspective.
00:49:40There was a girl that used to do the same thing.
00:49:43Only she used a bandana.
00:49:46So how old was the score?
00:49:47About six months.
00:49:48What happened?
00:49:50I just trusted too many of the wrong people.
00:49:52All my life.
00:49:54But I'm past it now.
00:49:55So it's old news.
00:49:58Why do you think I came to win this game?
00:50:01Guess you get your chance to do just that.
00:50:25You so much as fart, old man, and I'll drop you.
00:50:43Don't kill me, brother.
00:50:44I'm a good Christian man.
00:50:48You sure?
00:50:49Yeah.
00:50:50Here are the tire tracks.
00:50:51The empty equipment cases.
00:50:52Garbage.
00:50:53I'm so effed in the A.
00:50:57Dude, the fucking RV is gone.
00:50:58Let's just keep going.
00:50:59We're dead meat.
00:51:00We're two of the nearest town is 50 miles away.
00:51:01We're all gonna end up hillbilly barbecue.
00:51:03I'm not gonna tell you that.
00:51:04Keep quiet.
00:51:05Now come on.
00:51:06No, no, there's that old paper mill out by the main road.
00:51:08Right.
00:51:09No, it's abandoned.
00:51:10Well, we gotta dig in somewhere.
00:51:11Maybe there's a public phone.
00:51:12Dude, you know why they call it abandoned?
00:51:13Cause there's nothing in it anymore, including phone.
00:51:15Hey.
00:51:16Don't hurt me.
00:51:17That's a bear trap.
00:51:20There's no animals around here.
00:51:21Why do they have a fucking bear trap set?
00:51:24We're not trapping bears.
00:51:26We're trapping people.
00:51:27There's no wildlife to eat around here.
00:51:30They're eating us.
00:51:32Okay, I was wrong.
00:51:33Paper mill's a great idea.
00:51:34Let's just get out of here.
00:51:35No, no, no, no.
00:51:36Look, man.
00:51:37We take the road.
00:51:38We're sitting ducks.
00:51:39Alright?
00:51:40So I want everyone to stick together and watch where you step.
00:51:42Yeah, no shit.
00:51:43Yeah.
00:51:45Yeah
00:51:47Ah
00:52:12Who you blowing up old-timer?
00:52:14Just a trout
00:52:17Only way to bring them to the surface
00:52:19Dynamize stuns them
00:52:22They float like lily pads
00:52:24And I just scoop them up
00:52:31Pretty wife
00:52:33Ah, that's my Delilah
00:52:35Gave me the happiest days of my life
00:52:38God bless you so
00:52:41You know, you one lucky son of a bitch
00:52:44Lot of folk go in them woods
00:52:46Never seen one come out
00:52:48I stay clear to myself
00:52:51How many of those freaks are out there?
00:52:53Hard to know
00:52:54More than the one you run across, that's for sure
00:52:57What are they?
00:52:59Just like you and me brothers
00:53:02That uglier
00:53:04And a lot stronger
00:53:06Hey, I hit one of them youngins once in my pickup
00:53:09He popped up and just kept going
00:53:13It's a chemical change
00:53:15Hot mills shut down
00:53:17Near thirty years ago
00:53:19And left the mass
00:53:21And the poison killed off all the gang
00:53:24Most folks round these parts left
00:53:28There's one family
00:53:30That stayed on this hollow
00:53:32And pretty soon
00:53:34Their babies started gushing out of their mama's womb
00:53:37Just as ugly as them trout
00:53:39They got hanging out there
00:53:41Yeah
00:53:43And then they'd grow up
00:53:45Have kids their own
00:53:49Turned out even worse
00:53:53You know, safe old bite
00:53:55Fish is ugly, but they fry out real good
00:53:58Uh, much applies, but I gotta get going
00:54:05Well, if you're gonna head out to get your friends to settle the score
00:54:09I best jump to it
00:54:11Fuck this dark
00:54:12You don't wanna be out in them woods at night
00:54:15Why do you stay, old timer?
00:54:17Well, I could never leave
00:54:22Gotta stay close to my youngins
00:54:24You motherfucker
00:54:26I'll gonna kill you, man
00:54:28You kill up my boy
00:54:30Uh ow
00:54:31Uh i'll kill him
00:54:32Uh ì–´
00:54:33I'll kill you
00:54:34I uh
00:54:35I'll kill you, father
00:54:36IRe يه
00:54:37Uh
00:54:39I'm a
00:54:40Floodh..
00:54:52Say hello to the missus for me.
00:55:22It's one of them.
00:55:40It's Elena.
00:55:45Hey, what makes you think that?
00:55:50Hey!
00:55:55Oh, beautiful!
00:55:59Oh, my God!
00:56:02Nina, wait!
00:56:07Oh, shit!
00:56:13Oh, my God!
00:56:18Oh, my God!
00:56:22Oh, my God!
00:56:28Oh, my God!
00:56:37Oh, my God!
00:56:45Help!
00:56:48Help!
00:56:50Help me!
00:57:08Help!
00:57:10Help!
00:57:12Help!
00:57:14Where's Lena?
00:57:16She deserted us!
00:57:18Son of a bitch!
00:57:20Keep moving!
00:57:22No, no, no, no!
00:57:24Son of a bitch!
00:57:26Keep moving!
00:57:28No, no, no!
00:57:30Son of a bitch!
00:57:32Keep moving!
00:57:34Keep moving!
00:57:36No, split up. I'm fine, Nina.
00:57:38We'll meet up at the meal. Go!
00:57:40Okay.
00:57:52Nina!
00:57:56Nina?
00:58:04Down here!
00:58:06Nina?
00:58:08Are you okay?
00:58:10We gotta get you out of here, all right?
00:58:12Look.
00:58:14Come on. Come on, Nina.
00:58:16I can't reach.
00:58:18Come on, Nina.
00:58:20Hold on.
00:58:22Okay, hold on.
00:58:24No!
00:58:26I can't reach.
00:58:28Come on, Nina.
00:58:30Okay, hold on.
00:58:32I can't reach.
00:58:34I can't reach.
00:58:36Come on.
00:58:38Come on.
00:58:40I can't reach.
00:58:42I can't reach.
00:58:44I can't reach.
00:58:46I can't reach.
00:58:49Oh!
00:58:51What happened?
00:58:52It's my shoulder.
00:58:54It's dislocated.
00:58:56Come on. Help.
00:58:57Help me pop it in.
00:58:58I know, you know. Easy.
00:59:00You can pull and twist, okay?
00:59:02Go.
00:59:05Help me out.
00:59:08Let go of my wall.
00:59:10Amber, Jonesy, did they make it?
00:59:13We all made it.
00:59:14We'll meet it with them at the meal, okay?
00:59:16Let's go.
00:59:17Let's go, let's go.
00:59:30Let's go.
00:59:48Where?
00:59:48Let's go.
01:00:18You totally kicked ass back there.
01:00:31I'm serious.
01:00:31You were like Xena, warrior, princess.
01:00:34You were right.
01:00:35I was a total asshole before.
01:00:36I'm never going to diss you or any other female ever again.
01:00:39Great.
01:00:40It's cool.
01:00:41We outran them.
01:00:43Wrong.
01:00:48Oh, shit.
01:00:56Come on.
01:00:56Come on.
01:01:00Come on.
01:01:02Come on.
01:01:10Come on.
01:01:11Come on.
01:01:12Come on.
01:01:13Come on.
01:01:15Come on.
01:01:20Oh, no.
01:01:21Oh, no.
01:01:22Jonesy.
01:01:22Help me.
01:01:23Oh, no.
01:01:24Oh, no.
01:01:24Amber.
01:01:25Amber, help me.
01:01:26Jonesy.
01:01:27Get me!
01:01:28Get me down!
01:01:29Oh, no!
01:01:30Oh!
01:01:31No!
01:01:32No!
01:01:33Amber!
01:01:34Amber, help me!
01:01:35Oh!
01:01:36Oh, no!
01:01:37Hurry, Amber!
01:01:38He's coming!
01:01:39He's coming!
01:01:43Amber?
01:01:44Amber, go!
01:01:45No!
01:01:46Amber, don't do this!
01:01:47Oh, I'm leaving you!
01:01:48Go!
01:01:49Run!
01:01:50No!
01:01:51Amber, no!
01:01:52Oh, God!
01:01:53Oh, God!
01:01:54No!
01:01:56Amber?
01:01:57Amber?
01:01:58Oh!
01:01:59Oh, no, no, no, no!
01:02:01Ah!
01:02:02Google!
01:02:03Oh, ah!
01:02:04Google!
01:02:05Google!
01:02:06Put your hands!
01:02:08Oh, god!
01:02:17Oh, God!
01:02:19Oh, God!
01:02:20Oh, God!
01:02:21Oh, God!
01:02:22Look down.
01:02:44I'm here.
01:02:47Amber, I'm scared.
01:02:49You're not alone.
01:02:50All right.
01:02:52I'm gonna get us out of here.
01:02:55You know, my mother always used to say I'd live for a-
01:02:59Ah, no, no.
01:03:01Ah, no, no.
01:03:02Ah, no, no, no.
01:03:06Ah, no, no, no.
01:03:10Ah, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
01:03:17Ah, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
01:03:29Ah.
01:03:35Oh, God.
01:03:36I don't know.
01:04:06I don't know.
01:04:18There it is.
01:04:20I told you he wasn't kidding.
01:04:22This place is dead.
01:04:36Birth defects no shit.
01:04:50Can't see anything.
01:04:52How the hell are we gonna find him in here?
01:04:54Let Amber and Jonesy find us.
01:04:56Where's your good thug?
01:04:58I brought it with me for the game.
01:05:00I thought it might come in handy.
01:05:01That's cheating.
01:05:02Sue me.
01:05:08You think they're up there?
01:05:10Maybe they found a CB radio.
01:05:12Call for help.
01:05:14I guess I'll go first.
01:05:16Yeah.
01:05:18Be careful.
01:05:20They gotta be around here somewhere.
01:05:36If they even made it here at all.
01:05:40Come on guys.
01:05:41Where you at?
01:05:42What?
01:05:43Oh my God.
01:05:44She was just a little girl.
01:05:45Looks like she's been in there forever.
01:05:46She's hiding.
01:05:47Yeah, but from whom?
01:05:48This isn't right.
01:05:49No, Nina.
01:05:50No, Nina.
01:05:51No, Nina.
01:05:52No, Nina.
01:05:53No, Nina.
01:05:55Too late.
01:05:56We gotta get out of here now.
01:05:57No.
01:05:58No, Nina.
01:05:59We cannot leave them, okay?
01:06:00Let's go.
01:06:16Look, there's the RV.
01:06:17I don't see them.
01:06:18Oh, Jesus.
01:06:20This family's been doing this for decades.
01:06:27Oh, my God.
01:06:29That sounds like I'm screaming.
01:06:30Okay.
01:06:31I'm going down there.
01:06:39No, no, no, no, no.
01:06:42Hold this.
01:06:47Shit.
01:06:49You got my back?
01:06:50No.
01:06:55Please.
01:06:56No.
01:06:56No.
01:06:57Come on.
01:06:58Come on.
01:06:59Come on.
01:07:00Fuck.
01:07:01Fuck.
01:07:02Please.
01:07:02Get me the fuck out of here.
01:07:07Fuck.
01:07:18No.
01:07:19No.
01:07:19No.
01:07:20Fuck.
01:07:21No.
01:07:23No.
01:07:23Please.
01:07:24Please.
01:07:24God.
01:07:25No.
01:07:25Please.
01:07:26No.
01:07:26Please.
01:07:26Em.
01:07:27Please.
01:07:27No.
01:07:34God.
01:07:35No.
01:07:35I hope I will die.
01:07:38I will have to save you, too.
01:07:39Why are you, too?
01:07:40What's the end?
01:07:40Oh
01:08:10Oh
01:08:40Oh
01:09:10Oh
01:09:40Oh
01:10:10Oh
01:10:12Fuck you
01:10:40Oh
01:10:42Oh
01:10:44Oh
01:10:46Oh
01:10:48Oh
01:10:50Oh
01:10:52Oh
01:10:54Oh
01:10:56Oh
01:10:58No
01:11:00Leave her alone
01:11:02Leave her alone
01:11:04Oh
01:11:06Oh
01:11:10Don't mess in with her
01:11:12All right
01:11:20All right
01:11:22Yeah
01:11:34Oh
01:11:50What the fuck is wrong with him Ebo
01:12:04Oh
01:12:06Oh
01:12:08Oh
01:12:10Oh
01:12:12Oh
01:12:14Oh
01:12:16Oh
01:12:18Oh
01:12:20Oh
01:12:22Oh
01:12:24I hope you fucking choke
01:12:26Oh
01:12:28Oh
01:12:30Oh
01:12:32Oh
01:12:36Oh
01:12:38Oh
01:12:40Mm
01:12:42Mm
01:12:44Mm
01:12:46Mm
01:12:48Yes
01:12:50Oh
01:12:52Uh
01:12:54Oh
01:12:56Um
01:12:58Yeah
01:13:00Let's go.
01:13:30Let's go.
01:14:00Let's go.
01:14:30Let's go.
01:14:36Please.
01:14:37Let's go.
01:14:38Come on.
01:14:42Help.
01:14:44Help.
01:14:46Help.
01:14:48Help.
01:14:50Help.
01:14:54Help.
01:15:00Please.
01:15:02We're in here.
01:15:04We're trapped.
01:15:08Please.
01:15:10Someone help.
01:15:12Help.
01:15:13Help.
01:15:14Please.
01:15:15We're in here.
01:15:16Help.
01:15:17Help.
01:15:18Please.
01:15:19We're in here.
01:15:20We're trapped.
01:15:21Please.
01:15:22Someone help.
01:15:23Help.
01:15:24Help.
01:15:26Make her.
01:15:27Help.
01:15:31Help.
01:15:33Yah,
01:15:55Oh, my God.
01:16:25Oh, my God.
01:16:55Oh, my God.
01:17:25Oh, my God.
01:17:56Nina.
01:17:58Nina.
01:17:59Come on, wake up.
01:18:01Nina, wake up.
01:18:04Nina, can you pull your hands free?
01:18:09I need you to pull your hands free.
01:18:11I can't.
01:18:12Nina, you've got to try.
01:18:24Nina!
01:18:24Nina, wake up.
01:18:28Nina.
01:18:28I've got to do this.
01:18:39Breathe through it.
01:18:41Ready?
01:18:45Okay.
01:18:46Okay.
01:18:46Go.
01:18:50Shh, shh.
01:18:51One more.
01:18:57Go.
01:18:58There's an exit door through there.
01:19:08I'll be right behind you.
01:19:09Go.
01:19:10I want you to go find Nina.
01:19:22I want you to go find Nina.
01:19:22I want you to go find Nina.
01:19:24Go.
01:19:25Go.
01:19:26Go.
01:19:27Go.
01:19:28Go.
01:19:29Go.
01:19:30Go.
01:19:31That's all you got, bitch.
01:19:33Go.
01:19:34Go.
01:19:35Go.
01:19:42That's all you got, bitch.
01:19:43That's all you got, bitch.
01:20:04Fuck you.
01:20:13Go.
01:20:14No, no!
01:20:15No!
01:20:16No!
01:20:34No!
01:20:43No!
01:21:13No!
01:21:43No!
01:21:45Don't move man!
01:21:48No!
01:21:49Come on!
01:21:51No!
01:21:52No!
01:21:54Come on!
01:21:57No!
01:21:58No!
01:21:59No!
01:22:00Come on!
01:22:01Come on!
01:22:04Come on!
01:22:07Come on!
01:22:09No!
01:22:11Oh, my God.
01:22:41Oh, my God.
01:23:11You know you didn't have to come back for me, right?
01:23:21Sue me.
01:23:29Wow.
01:23:32Nice ride.
01:23:33You want to take it for a spin?
01:23:34Why not?
01:23:39It's the least this fucked up family owes us.
01:23:41Nice.
01:23:42Yes.
01:23:42Yes.
01:23:47Yes.
01:23:49No.
01:23:50Oh, my God.
01:23:51I don't know.
01:24:21I don't know.
01:24:51I don't know.