When asked about her reaction to industry peers saying she should’ve won an Oscar at the 2025 Academy Awards, Demi Moore revealed at Wednesday’s TIME100 Summit that that’s not the way she thinks about what happened.
“I really do subscribe to this idea that everything in life is happening for me, not to me,” she told TIME Editorial Director Lucy Feldman while onstage in New York City with her micro Chihuahua dog Pilaf. “That doesn't mean there isn't disappointment or pain. But when I look at it through that lens, it allows me to step back and say, ‘What is this trying to give me?’”
Moore, 62, was nominated for her first Oscar earlier this year for her role as aging star Elisabeth Sparkle in director Coralie Fargeat's body-horror hit The Substance, but ultimately lost the Best Actress race to Anora lead Mikey Madison—whom Moore noted delivered “an incredible performance.”
Madison’s somewhat unexpected win came in the wake of Moore taking home the Golden Globe for Best Performance by a Female Actor in a Motion Picture – Musical or Comedy in January and stating in her acceptance speech that it was the first real award she’d received in her more than 45 years in Hollywood. However, while she shared that winning the Oscar would’ve felt like a “completion” to what started when The Substance premiered to rave reviews at the 2024 Cannes Film Festival, she believes there’s a reason she came away empty-handed.
“I really do subscribe to this idea that everything in life is happening for me, not to me,” she told TIME Editorial Director Lucy Feldman while onstage in New York City with her micro Chihuahua dog Pilaf. “That doesn't mean there isn't disappointment or pain. But when I look at it through that lens, it allows me to step back and say, ‘What is this trying to give me?’”
Moore, 62, was nominated for her first Oscar earlier this year for her role as aging star Elisabeth Sparkle in director Coralie Fargeat's body-horror hit The Substance, but ultimately lost the Best Actress race to Anora lead Mikey Madison—whom Moore noted delivered “an incredible performance.”
Madison’s somewhat unexpected win came in the wake of Moore taking home the Golden Globe for Best Performance by a Female Actor in a Motion Picture – Musical or Comedy in January and stating in her acceptance speech that it was the first real award she’d received in her more than 45 years in Hollywood. However, while she shared that winning the Oscar would’ve felt like a “completion” to what started when The Substance premiered to rave reviews at the 2024 Cannes Film Festival, she believes there’s a reason she came away empty-handed.
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NewsTranscript
00:00We are all very, very excited that you're here with us.
00:03So thank you so much.
00:04Well, for me, it's a tremendous honor to be amongst this group.
00:10I am going to do my best not to be distracted by this adorable one-and-a-half-pound chihuahua
00:18that is looking right at me.
00:21But she's so sweet.
00:23She is a scene-stealer.
00:25Yes.
00:26And, you know, you're a generous actor, so it works, right?
00:30Like, you share the stage.
00:31I do.
00:32Yes.
00:32Happily.
00:33So you are just under two months removed from this entire awards season experience
00:43and sort of the formal end of your journey with the substance.
00:46You've had, you know, a minute to reflect.
00:49Yes.
00:50In that time, have you sort of gleaned lessons that you think you'll be applying to your career going forward?
00:58I mean, I think every experience, I think, gives us something for the next step that we're taking.
01:08This was such an extraordinary, unexpected response that literally started in May of last year at Cannes.
01:19And, you know, it's an amazing thing when you don't have any expectations.
01:24Everything is a gift, and everything during this whole process, but most especially, I think, the response on the flight here.
01:36A young woman, maybe 22, 23, came up to me and thanked me for the film because she said it changed her life and how she was holding and valuing herself.
01:51And for me, that is almost more important than anything else that's occurred, is knowing that we've brought something forward that is thought-provoking and potentially life-changing.
02:04Hmm, that's so powerful.
02:06And I feel like that is an experience that you've had again and again through this whole journey.
02:13I know when we spoke for the profile that we ran in time last week, you shared a few similar moments where it just feels like people found something unique to connect with in the film.
02:25It wasn't always the same thing, but...
02:27Well, I mean, I think that there was an aspect in the film, I don't know if those of you here have seen it, but...
02:36I think it touched on our humanness.
02:42It touched on that place within each of us where we can be harsh and or almost cruel and violent in our self-judgment.
02:51And I think in that way, it just resonated so deeply.
02:57It's what certainly resonated with me when I read the script.
03:00I mean, there were the obvious aspects of it dealing with aging and societal perspectives that have limitations.
03:09But for me, that was the least new information that was being shared.
03:13For the piece, I spoke to a lot of people about you.
03:21And every single one...
03:22Bless you.
03:26Every single one said that you should have won the Oscar.
03:31Boots Riley, who directed you in a film that hasn't come out yet, but sounds super cool.
03:46Can't wait to see it.
03:48I asked him this question, and his answer was essentially,
03:53well, that's a very political question for me,
03:56because I know a lot of the people who made Enora.
04:00And obviously, I know people at Neon.
04:03And yes, definitely, Demi should have won.
04:08Do you see yourself on that stage in the future?
04:14I think that would be nice.
04:17I can't say I would be mad at it.
04:19But, you know, as I shared when we spoke,
04:25you know, the question is, should I have won,
04:28is really maybe not, certainly not the perspective of how I hold it,
04:33because I didn't.
04:35And, you know, I really do subscribe to this idea
04:41that everything in life is happening for me, not to me.
04:45And that doesn't mean there isn't disappointment, pain,
04:50or that things go the way I would like.
04:53But when I look at it through that lens,
04:55it allows me to step back and say,
04:56what is this trying to give me?
04:58And in that moment, while it was, you know,
05:01a lot was, you know, being projected that I would win,
05:09and so, of course, there's disappointment,
05:11I also immediately recognized that there is something
05:16that is greater that I am to be in service to,
05:21even if I don't know what that is,
05:23that there is a reason.
05:25And, you know, I really had the pleasure
05:28of getting to know Mikey Madison
05:31and thinks that she did an incredible performance.
05:34And really, it's an odd thing
05:37for there to be a competition anyway.
05:39But, you know, if I had won,
05:42it would have been, as I said to you,
05:43it would be like a completion to what had started.
05:50And clearly, the message here is that
05:53there's more work to be done,
05:55that this issue is not complete.
05:58And I'm sorry to everyone who had hopes for me
06:02that was also the hopes for themselves,
06:04because I did feel a lot of collective disappointment
06:08that felt like it was even bigger than me.
06:13I understand that.
06:14I don't think you need to say sorry,
06:16but we hear you.
06:20And when you think about what's next
06:23and what maybe that open door is
06:26that you still need to walk through,
06:27you have been such a big part
06:30of this cultural moment
06:32where women in their 50s, 60s, 70s
06:35are being celebrated and recognized
06:37and there's stories being told about them
06:39that haven't before.
06:40And that's very exciting.
06:42What are the stories
06:43that you really want to see told?
06:45Oh, I mean,
06:48that's a very big question.
06:52What are the stories?
06:52I think that I don't know
06:57if I have an exact answer
06:58of what the exact story.
07:00I think that it's more about opening the door
07:05to really sharing and showing the truth
07:09of who we are today, you know,
07:12and which is very different
07:14than what it may have been at another time,
07:17our viability.
07:18You know, I think that there was
07:22a sense of things ending
07:29at a certain point
07:30as opposed to the reality,
07:32which is just that we're evolving.
07:35It's not ending.
07:36And I also have thought recently
07:40about this idea that aging and being old
07:44are not the same thing.
07:46and somehow we've confused that
07:49and that aging actually is a tremendous gift.
07:54It's, it's, I mean,
07:56I would not trade, literally,
07:58you could not pay me to be 21 again.
08:02As good as it might sound,
08:05it was torture.
08:06And to be where I'm sitting today
08:08is such a peaceful space of acceptance
08:15and freedom that I would not change.
08:18And you can't have that without,
08:20I mean, it's a gift to age.
08:23It is a gift.
08:24And when we start changing how we hold it,
08:27our experience of it will change.
08:29What do you think is at the root
08:38of our anxiety about aging,
08:41about getting older?
08:43I think we associate it with loss
08:45as opposed to something
08:50that we're receiving,
08:51that there are,
08:52that it's almost as if we see it as end.
08:55And, and I think we also live in,
08:57you know,
08:57our Western culture
08:58does not really hold death
09:02in a very comfortable place.
09:05We don't see it,
09:08I mean,
09:09it will happen to all of us.
09:10It's, I mean,
09:12it is an,
09:12it is an inevitable,
09:13an inevitable part of our process
09:17in this particular body
09:19that we're all in at this time.
09:21And I think we associate it with loss
09:24as opposed to
09:26holding on to curiosity,
09:30adventure, exploration.
09:32I think at my root,
09:34I'm such a seeker.
09:36And so,
09:37and I think in the same way
09:39you look at children,
09:41children don't have a sense of time
09:43as having an end.
09:44It's always about a beginning.
09:46Hmm.
09:54Do you have any words of encouragement
09:56that you would offer to someone
09:58who feels like they missed their moment?
10:01It's too late
10:02to do the thing
10:03that they really want to do.
10:05I've said it before,
10:07and I think, you know,
10:08it's something that I really
10:10feel like I've experienced
10:11and believe,
10:12which is
10:13because it hasn't happened
10:15doesn't mean it isn't happening.
10:19And that's just, again,
10:21I think everything in life
10:23is how you hold it.
10:24If you see it as,
10:26as, you know,
10:28an end,
10:29it will be an end.
10:30If you see it,
10:32if it's something you believe
10:33and you want,
10:34then it really is up to you
10:36to keep striving for it.
10:38I mean,
10:39I definitely faced a super low
10:42where it was a low of grief
10:45thinking that maybe this part
10:47of my life was complete.
10:49Not over,
10:52but complete.
10:53And as I shared
10:56at the Golden Globes,
10:57it's when the script
10:59for The Substance came,
11:00and clearly the message
11:02was it's not.
11:03And I think,
11:05you know,
11:06it's really about
11:08our own resilience
11:08and not giving up
11:10if it means enough to us.
11:11What are your
11:13specific desires
11:15for your future,
11:17for the direction
11:18that you might go
11:19with your career
11:20or your life,
11:21or what are the things
11:21that you haven't yet done
11:23that you really want to do?
11:25I mean,
11:25I don't think about it
11:26so much in projecting
11:27into this is exactly
11:29what I want
11:30because I feel like
11:31as soon as I do that,
11:32that that almost
11:32could become a limitation
11:34of what's possible.
11:37I think working
11:38with really creative,
11:41talented people
11:43who push me
11:45to become better,
11:46that elevate my abilities,
11:50that push me out
11:51of my comfort zone,
11:52that's really my task.
11:53But more than anything,
11:55I like to look at
11:56what's right in front of me
11:57and not project too much
11:59into thinking of it
12:00in a goal-oriented way.
12:03I don't know,
12:03maybe that sounds
12:04a little too woo-woo,
12:06but I don't want
12:10to miss the moment.
12:10Do you consider yourself
12:11woo-woo?
12:11I don't want to miss
12:12the moment I'm in
12:13by projecting to the future.
12:15I'm just excited about,
12:18like, what do I want?
12:20I'd like to keep working.
12:22I'd like to keep growing.
12:23I want to stay in gratitude.
12:28I want to never
12:28take life for granted.
12:30I want to spend more time
12:32with the people I love.
12:35Those are the simple things.
12:37I think that's sort of
12:38what we all want, right?
12:41I am curious,
12:42do you use the word woo-woo
12:43to describe yourself?
12:44No.
12:46Okay.
12:46No, but somebody could.
12:50Somebody else might.
12:51Would you say I'm woo-woo?
12:56No.
12:57I think you're very spiritual.
13:00I think you're very in touch
13:01with the universe to me.
13:03Yes.
13:05I want to go back
13:06to 1996.
13:11The movie is Striptease.
13:13You've negotiated
13:14a $12.5 million deal
13:18to be in this.
13:21Exactly.
13:22This is where we're going
13:22with this.
13:24A $12.5 million deal
13:25to be in this film
13:26making you,
13:27at the time,
13:28the highest paid woman
13:29in Hollywood history.
13:35See,
13:36this is the point
13:37because at the time,
13:40the media saddled you
13:41with this nickname,
13:43Give Me More,
13:44which was really framed
13:48as she's greedy,
13:51she's unworthy,
13:53she's difficult, right?
13:55But there's something
13:57about this piece
13:59of your history
13:59that really sticks
14:00in my mind
14:01because when I hear
14:03that phrase now,
14:05Give Me More,
14:06from a 2025 perspective,
14:08looking at the incredible year
14:10that you've just had
14:11and this message
14:12that you are sending
14:13to people
14:14who are in their 50s,
14:1560s beyond,
14:17saying,
14:18actually,
14:18I'm here
14:19and I can do
14:20the best work
14:21of my career,
14:22I kind of hear it
14:23as like,
14:24yeah,
14:25give her more.
14:32You know,
14:33there was a lot
14:33of shame
14:34attached
14:35to ambition
14:38or striving
14:40for more.
14:42And in particular,
14:43at that time,
14:44there was a lot
14:45of shaming
14:45I experienced
14:47over that moment.
14:49But the reality is,
14:51whoever ended up
14:52being that person
14:53where that happened
14:54to would have been hit.
14:58It's just the nature
14:59of whoever is first
15:01has to be willing
15:02to take
15:02a certain level
15:04of criticism
15:06and harshness.
15:08But it was
15:09an important moment,
15:10not just for me,
15:11because it was
15:11an important moment
15:12for changing
15:13the landscape
15:14for all women.
15:16I think that's
15:17the lesson here today.
15:18That's the point, right?
15:19We can reframe
15:20these things
15:21and we should be
15:22giving women more.
15:24Thank you, Demi.
15:25Thank you so much.
15:27Thank you so much.