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  • 6 days ago
The Escort (2015) is a romantic comedy-drama that explores the unexpected relationship between a journalist and an escort. The film follows Mitch, a struggling reporter who is assigned to write a piece about the world of high-end escorts. As he spends more time with Krista, a charismatic escort, their relationship evolves from professional to personal, leading both of them to confront their own emotional barriers and life choices.

With its focus on human connections, identity, and the pursuit of happiness, The Escort offers a refreshing take on modern relationships and the complexities of love and self-worth. The film combines elements of romantic comedy with thoughtful drama, making it appealing to viewers interested in character-driven stories and modern love tales.
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Transcript
00:00:00Hold on a second.
00:00:12Hey there.
00:00:13Hey.
00:00:17I feel like you're not hearing me, because if you were, I wouldn't be repeating myself.
00:00:21That's why.
00:00:21No, because I told you.
00:00:23Look, I told you three times, okay?
00:00:24Look, we'll get going in two.
00:00:26No, the Nagasaki merger has to happen in 15.6.
00:00:30That's bottom line.
00:00:31There's no doubt about that, okay?
00:00:32And then you blend the assets, as I pointed out, in the prospectus, okay?
00:00:36Hey, you trust me.
00:00:36We'll come out of this smelling like a rose.
00:00:38But you don't trust me?
00:00:41What, am I a fool?
00:00:44You're not going to look like an idiot.
00:00:48If anyone looks like an idiot, it's me.
00:00:50Slap me.
00:00:51I've been naughty.
00:00:52Oh, wow.
00:00:54All right.
00:00:54Tell me I'm not going to get any dessert.
00:00:56You're not getting any dessert.
00:00:58What?
00:00:59And you're banned from TV and internet for a week.
00:01:03Tell me I can't watch Game of Thrones.
00:01:05What?
00:01:06Just tell me.
00:01:08You're banned from watching Game of Thrones, you little shit.
00:01:11All right.
00:01:11Good, good, good, good, good.
00:01:12Yeah, tell me I run down the whole lineup.
00:01:15HBO, Sunday night shows.
00:01:17You're banned from watching girls.
00:01:18No.
00:01:20And me.
00:01:22No more bored to death.
00:01:23Oh, they canceled bored to death.
00:01:26Oh, um, no more boardwalk empire.
00:01:30Bullshit.
00:01:31Oh, ride that shit.
00:01:33Ride that shit.
00:01:34Ride that shit like evil Knievel.
00:01:36Ride it.
00:01:37Oh, God.
00:01:38Oh, oh, oh.
00:01:42Hey, Victoria, it's Sunday night.
00:01:44You want to watch some HBO?
00:01:47Would you pay me more?
00:01:48I wasn't planning on it.
00:01:54No.
00:01:54No.
00:01:54I'm not afraid of love.
00:02:14No, I'm not afraid of love.
00:02:19Just because I run away when you say you need me, I'm not afraid.
00:02:34I don't want to waste my time.
00:02:42I don't want to waste my time.
00:02:44I don't want to waste my time.
00:02:46I don't want to waste my time.
00:02:49I waste my time.
00:02:51I waste my time.
00:02:52Before love you.
00:02:54The pain we go through.
00:02:58When a love's not true.
00:03:02I made up my mind to stay away from the hurt you bring to me.
00:03:20I'm not afraid of you.
00:03:22I don't want to waste my time.
00:03:23Don't undudumleg when you leave me.
00:03:29I'm in a lie....
00:03:32I'll be there.
00:03:33I'm in a lie of an...
00:03:33I'm in a lie of an�ing, n'essing, n'essing, n'mmm
00:03:35d'lssing, n'lssing, n'lssing, n'lssing, n'lssing
00:03:36You don't really need my love, you don't really need my love, just because when we were born, you said I'm in your heart, you don't really need me.
00:04:06I made up my mind to stay awake.
00:04:19Hey. I know, man. Look, I'm just running a little behind. I'll be there soon.
00:04:26I was just saying how Corinne is a big movie fan.
00:04:29Yeah, I make it a point to see all the Oscar-nominated movies every year.
00:04:33Well, that's great. Do you have any favorites?
00:04:38Let's see. Well, I'm going to have to break it down genre by genre.
00:04:43Family. Up is a really good family film.
00:04:47So good. I cried. I cried.
00:04:50We've been like the first minute. Did you?
00:04:53I had to pick my favorite action movie, Saving Private Ryan.
00:04:57Classic. So visceral.
00:04:58A lot of guys like action films, but I do too.
00:05:01Mitch, you love Saving Private Ryan.
00:05:03He does?
00:05:04Yeah.
00:05:05Wow.
00:05:06Yeah.
00:05:07I think we've watched it together, maybe.
00:05:08I just think it's really disappointing how in so many movies they use sex in such a gratuitous fashion.
00:05:14It's really, really tasteless.
00:05:16Now, I couldn't agree more.
00:05:18And the film industry thinks we want to see tits in every other scene to be satisfied.
00:05:22It's ridiculous. Am I right? Thank you.
00:05:24Okay. Well, that's one point we don't agree on.
00:05:25Just the one.
00:05:26Well, yeah.
00:05:27No, I'm going to run to the bathroom.
00:05:28Good night.
00:05:29I love it.
00:05:30I love it.
00:05:31I know.
00:05:32I'll be right back.
00:05:56How are you doing tonight?
00:05:57Good.
00:05:58Good.
00:06:00So?
00:06:01No, I'm doing great.
00:06:02What the fuck, man?
00:06:03Excuse me.
00:06:04You're looking at Corinne like she's some kind of leper.
00:06:06I'm not looking to get set up, okay?
00:06:08You've insisted.
00:06:09It's the only reason I'm here.
00:06:10Yeah, here in the goddamn bathroom.
00:06:11Hey, hey, hey.
00:06:12What's wrong with the bathroom?
00:06:13He didn't mean anything by it.
00:06:14I'm sorry.
00:06:15He's just...
00:06:16You gotta get your shit together, man.
00:06:17You can't keep living like this.
00:06:18How's he living?
00:06:21Yeah, how am I living?
00:06:22You've got real issues.
00:06:23Like what?
00:06:24Like having to get up in the middle of dinner and come in here and rub one out.
00:06:27I knew that.
00:06:28Yep.
00:06:29That's what I thought.
00:06:30JP, I'm trying here, man.
00:06:31I just...
00:06:32I don't want to be here.
00:06:33You're on the app again, aren't you?
00:06:34What app?
00:06:35You know what the fuck app I'm talking about?
00:06:36The sex app.
00:06:37Sir, sir, please keep...
00:06:38God damn it!
00:06:39You were so fucking intrusive for a bathroom attendant.
00:06:40Is there a sex app?
00:06:41Well, I mean, yeah.
00:06:42It just kind of connects you with other people looking to get it in.
00:06:43You're...
00:06:44Heard about this.
00:06:45Heard about this.
00:06:46Oh, man.
00:06:47I gotta get on that.
00:06:48Fuck.
00:06:49Yeah.
00:06:50In fact, I actually just made a connection.
00:06:51There we go.
00:06:52No, no, no.
00:06:53Do not bail out on me.
00:06:54You cannot do this to me.
00:06:55Look, it's...
00:06:56Tell her I'm not feeling well if you want to go with IBS.
00:06:57I'm fine with that.
00:06:58Mitch, Mitch, Mitch, Mitch.
00:06:59I'm sorry, man.
00:07:02What chap is it?
00:07:03Is it this one?
00:07:04What was the name of that?
00:07:05I don't know, man.
00:07:06Could you give me one of those little...
00:07:07Are those eye drops or mints?
00:07:08Oh, these are mints and eye drops.
00:07:09I have both, man.
00:07:10Whatever you need.
00:07:11Please, help yourself.
00:07:12This is sort of a weird thing to say.
00:07:13Okay.
00:07:14I feel like I could imagine what our debut would look like.
00:07:18Oh, wow.
00:07:20That's amazing, baby.
00:07:22Really cute.
00:07:23Really good looking.
00:07:24Yeah.
00:07:25And smart.
00:07:29Where's Mitch?
00:07:31Um, are you familiar with IBS?
00:07:40But you know, that's the point.
00:07:41We're moving to a world in which people think that everything can be accurate.
00:07:43And that everything can be abstracted.
00:07:44Which is, when it's not just a commodity.
00:07:48A form of knowledge people initially do.
00:07:50The Marxist and the Democrats and the Democrats.
00:07:52The Democrats.
00:07:52They, they are.
00:07:53They're.
00:07:54They're.
00:07:58They're.
00:07:59They're.
00:08:00They're.
00:08:01They're.
00:08:02They're.
00:08:03They're.
00:08:04They're.
00:08:05They're.
00:08:06They're.
00:08:07They're.
00:08:08They're.
00:08:09They're.
00:08:10They're.
00:08:11They're.
00:08:12I don't know.
00:08:42I'm sure you can buy me a drink.
00:09:08Good to know.
00:09:09Is that how you treat a lady who shows interest?
00:09:14You asked for a free drink.
00:09:15You didn't show interest.
00:09:16Were you expecting a blowjob right out of the gate?
00:09:18Offering something would indicate more interest than asking for something.
00:09:21You don't want to get to know each other first?
00:09:24Before I buy you a drink or before the blowjob?
00:09:29Fine, I'll start.
00:09:30My name is Victoria and I moved here two years ago after I graduated from Stanford.
00:09:39I'm currently reading a book on Gandhi.
00:09:42I continue to sleep on my stomach no matter how many times my chiropractor tells me not to.
00:09:46You shouldn't do that.
00:09:47And I called bullshit on anyone suddenly becoming allergic to gluten in the last five years.
00:09:53Liars.
00:09:53You must be Ms. Juicy 34.
00:09:59What?
00:10:01From the sex app.
00:10:03Climax.
00:10:04Yeah.
00:10:07So you're not here to have sex with me?
00:10:10Uh, I don't know what you're talking about, but, um, it's a thousand for the hour, three for the night.
00:10:25You're a hooker.
00:10:26I didn't beg you.
00:10:27I'm an escort.
00:10:29Yeah, you escort men's penises inside you for money.
00:10:33Fuck you.
00:10:35Look, you're barking up the wrong tree, all right?
00:10:38I couldn't afford you anyway.
00:10:39Well, then maybe dress in your tax bracket and don't come to swanky hotels.
00:10:42For your information, this is all H&M.
00:10:44And I'm here to meet a girl.
00:10:45Yeah, from a sex app, pervert.
00:10:48Pervert?
00:10:48You're the hooker.
00:10:49Escort.
00:10:50Is your name even Victorian?
00:10:53What do you think?
00:10:55For what it's worth, everything else I told you is true.
00:10:58Yeah, even the Stanford thing.
00:11:01Everything.
00:11:09All right.
00:11:21All right.
00:11:21How are you?
00:11:32Fine.
00:11:33I need the obituary for Dr. Filler and Elaine Ackerton.
00:11:36Yeah.
00:11:37Got that right here.
00:11:37Uh, Filler, Ackerton.
00:11:41There you go.
00:11:43I can always count on your match.
00:11:45And hey, can you stop by my office at about 10?
00:11:48I wonder if I'm sitting by you.
00:11:49Yeah, sure.
00:11:50Is it about getting new computers?
00:11:51Because I think that would really boost morale.
00:11:54Well, there is no easy way to say this, but you know how you're currently an employee of
00:12:05the company?
00:12:07Yeah, I do.
00:12:09You're not going to be when you leave this office.
00:12:16But you just said everything was all right.
00:12:19Interesting.
00:12:21Oh, I just needed you to come to my office, and I didn't want you to think I was firing
00:12:26you.
00:12:27But I'm the best journalist you have on the team.
00:12:29You even said to me last week, Mitch, you're the best journalist we have on the team, so
00:12:32I'm just a little confused as to where this is.
00:12:33If it makes you feel any better, this decision had nothing to do with merit.
00:12:39Uh, then, then, then what?
00:12:42If I let Patty go, here comes the ageism lawsuit.
00:12:46If I fired Darnell, well, you can connect the dots, and I was very clear about not fucking
00:13:00the interns.
00:13:16I was very clear about I was angry about it.
00:13:22B
00:13:44You know, that guy's a slimy fucking bastard.
00:14:09He's lucky I don't rip his head off.
00:14:11I told him not to act like a big swingy dick with you around or you'd shove it right back
00:14:16up his ass.
00:14:17Yeah, right.
00:14:18Hey, Don?
00:14:19You've met my cousin Mitch, right?
00:14:20The sex addict, dude?
00:14:22Yep.
00:14:23Just taking a little survey.
00:14:25Well, have fun with that.
00:14:27Thanks, bud.
00:14:28I'll talk to you soon.
00:14:29Is that how you like being known?
00:14:31The only reason that's my rap is because you tell people that.
00:14:34How do you think small talk works?
00:14:35When there's an awkward silence, what else do you expect me to say?
00:14:37Like, anything else.
00:14:38Seriously, anything else.
00:14:39You know, I used to think any guy would be a sex addict if he could.
00:14:42And now that I know one, it's real and it is scary.
00:14:45Luke, are we getting lunch or what?
00:14:47I'm just saying, Mitch.
00:14:49You're 27 years old.
00:14:50You're unemployed.
00:14:51No money.
00:14:52No girlfriend.
00:14:53You don't talk to anyone anymore.
00:14:54I'm talking to you right now, aren't I?
00:14:56There are 20 billion people in the world.
00:14:58I don't think that's true.
00:15:00Mitch, I'm your only friend.
00:15:02Do you know how much pressure that puts me under?
00:15:04Look, man.
00:15:05I don't get on your ass for going to all those dubstep concerts you're way too old for.
00:15:08I'm right in the middle of the demographic.
00:15:10Okay.
00:15:11What you did to me and Allie the other night really made us look bad.
00:15:13And the Mitch I used to know would never have bailed like that.
00:15:16Clearly, you've got something going on.
00:15:18If you're not working right now, maybe it's time to get some help.
00:15:20Are you hungry?
00:15:21Yeah.
00:15:22That's why I'm here.
00:15:23You said let's get lunch.
00:15:24Putting because you kept putting on your time.
00:15:31I'm sure I don't have to tell you how tough it is in the newspaper business right now.
00:15:36Our only hope is if something should happen to the internet.
00:15:41Something like, say, a solar flare event that knocks out all the electricity.
00:15:47Then we'd be in business.
00:15:50We can only hope.
00:15:51Really?
00:15:52So is there like a job opening?
00:15:54No.
00:15:56Our numbers are tight as is.
00:15:58Unless you could work for free.
00:16:00I don't really see how we would make it work.
00:16:04You won't work for free, will you?
00:16:09No.
00:16:22Um, this is Mission Magazine.
00:16:32We don't cover obituaries and local interest.
00:16:35Right.
00:16:35Well, sure, I covered obituaries, but I also wrote features for other sections as well.
00:16:39They're on there.
00:16:40Finding the right gastroenterologist for you.
00:16:43Believe it or not, a reader wrote in actually saying how that article saved her life.
00:16:48So I mean, I kind of feel good about that one.
00:16:50You know what?
00:16:51Thank you for coming in.
00:16:52But I just don't think I see anything here that indicates your sensibilities would resonate
00:16:56with our readers.
00:16:57But thanks.
00:16:58Thanks.
00:16:59Thanks for your time.
00:17:05You know what?
00:17:06Just give me a shot.
00:17:08I'll write something on spec.
00:17:10Something your audience would actually read.
00:17:12What do you have to lose?
00:17:14I have an open position, but I've got two writers writing something for it.
00:17:22So I can throw you into the mix.
00:17:24But you are going to need to write something that I can actually print.
00:17:27I can't publish what using the semicolon says about you.
00:17:30Yeah, no.
00:17:31No more semicolons.
00:17:32We're going to write something interesting here.
00:17:34Uh, should I leave this here?
00:17:37No.
00:17:38I think I've seen enough.
00:17:39Why you make me track you down like a criminal?
00:17:45Junior, hey!
00:17:46No, I was just about to stop by your apartment.
00:17:48You stopped nowhere.
00:17:49Rent is due by the end of the week.
00:17:51And you still haven't paid in full for last month.
00:17:53And I was just about to...
00:17:54Look, I'm not going to play this game with you no more.
00:17:57You pay the rent by Friday, or I'll evict you.
00:18:00And I take whatever stuff you have in there that looks nice to me.
00:18:09That's expensive stuff.
00:18:11If you can afford me coconuts, like some prince, you can afford to pay the rent.
00:18:20Should I assume I'm not going to see that back, or...?
00:18:22It's yours.
00:18:23Yep.
00:18:24To me, I've just got a condolette.
00:18:25I have a condolette.
00:18:26There is a condolette.
00:18:34And I'm going to put a condolette.
00:18:35That's my condolette.
00:18:37We're just about to...
00:18:39to my partner.
00:18:40To the way to me, it is...
00:18:45Hey, man, do you happen to know a regular here by the name Victoria?
00:18:57She comes around a lot.
00:18:58You a cop?
00:18:59Do I look like a cop?
00:19:01Because if you're a cop, you gotta tell me.
00:19:03I mean, I don't think that's true, but no, I'm not a cop.
00:19:06Prove it.
00:19:07I mean, I just said I'm not a cop.
00:19:09I don't know what more I can do.
00:19:10You know, certain women, they have their clients take out their junk just to prove
00:19:15that they're not a cop.
00:19:17So why don't you show me a ball?
00:19:19That should do it.
00:19:20I'm not gonna take my balls out in the middle of the bar, man.
00:19:22I said one ball.
00:19:25Look, this is getting weird.
00:19:26I just, could you just tell me if Victoria...
00:19:27Forget it.
00:19:29You're not gonna pay for this?
00:19:40Victoria.
00:19:41Or whatever your real name is.
00:19:46Oh, God.
00:19:47Are you like one of those guys that's seen Pretty Woman too many times?
00:19:51I've never seen Pretty Woman.
00:19:53I don't believe you.
00:19:55Of course I've seen Pretty Woman.
00:19:57Who hasn't seen Pretty Woman?
00:19:58It's Geary and Roberts at the Clines.
00:19:59It's a great movie.
00:20:00Wait, I just have to ask you something.
00:20:03Look, I'm not trying to save you or sleep with you, for that matter.
00:20:07All I want to do is write a story.
00:20:09An interesting one.
00:20:10I think you have one.
00:20:11Well, that's great.
00:20:12So my family can find out I'm an escort in some idiot's Tumblr.
00:20:14No, no, no.
00:20:15Look, it's not for a blog.
00:20:16It's for, like, a legit magazine.
00:20:18Well, let me see a card.
00:20:20Well, I don't technically work for them yet.
00:20:23This is my application piece.
00:20:24You're full of shit.
00:20:25Musial.
00:20:26Vodka.
00:20:27Rocks.
00:20:28Two lines.
00:20:29This guy's a cop.
00:20:30You're a cop?
00:20:31I'm not a cop.
00:20:32Yeah, he was in here earlier.
00:20:33He wouldn't show his nuts.
00:20:34That's a tell.
00:20:35What?
00:20:36Who?
00:20:37How is that a tell?
00:20:38Because you didn't do it.
00:20:39You know what?
00:20:40Just get the lady a drink, please.
00:20:42I know you have to have your guard up doing what you do, but I'm a decent guy.
00:20:47I swear.
00:20:51I just lost my job working at this newspaper, and I'm trying to land this gig at this magazine.
00:20:58All I want to do is tell an interesting story, and I think you have one.
00:21:01Yeah?
00:21:02What story would that be?
00:21:05You know, you're a Stanford-educated, uh...
00:21:11Esquit.
00:21:12Yeah.
00:21:13Sure.
00:21:14We can take that angle if you want.
00:21:15All right, buddy.
00:21:16Look, I'm not interested in being your hooker with a heart of gold, or being some pity piece about how the system failed me, or whatever bullshit angle you're taking.
00:21:23Look, I'm not out to make you look bad.
00:21:25Just let me follow you around for like a week or two.
00:21:27You won't even notice I'm there.
00:21:28No.
00:21:29Final answer.
00:21:30Sorry.
00:21:31Wait.
00:21:32Just...
00:21:33Here.
00:21:34Just...
00:21:35Maybe it's a place to change your money.
00:21:37Think about it.
00:21:44Let me fuck that one up, huh?
00:22:03I'm so into you, baby.
00:22:04I'm telling you, baby.
00:22:05I'm getting wet just thinking about what you're going to do.
00:22:07Oh, have you?
00:22:09Oh, what?
00:22:10Hey, I said no kissing.
00:22:12I'm not going to say it again.
00:22:13Come on, baby.
00:22:14I could be your boyfriend.
00:22:16Oh, come on.
00:22:17I'm here.
00:22:18No, stop it.
00:22:19It's over, asshole.
00:22:21Don't be such a goddamn bitch.
00:22:24No, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.
00:22:26I'm getting what I paid for.
00:22:34I'll kill you, you fucking whore!
00:22:53Dad.
00:22:54Hey, um, need a bit of a favor.
00:23:01Officer.
00:23:04Babe, I swear to God, I can't fucking do this anymore.
00:23:07Why?
00:23:08What happened?
00:23:11I'm fine.
00:23:12I'm just, like, a little bit rattled.
00:23:15Fucking scumbag.
00:23:17What, he tried to stick it in that beautiful ass again?
00:23:21No, he's just...
00:23:24Just a drunk, coped-out bullshit.
00:23:30Still think my ass is beautiful.
00:23:32It's a dangerous world out there.
00:23:35You ever think about getting back with Sebastian?
00:23:37Hell no.
00:23:38I don't want a pimp.
00:23:39It makes it feel way too real.
00:23:42Plus, that fucker took half my money,
00:23:44and I did all the work.
00:23:46Well, what happened tonight would not happen
00:23:47if you had someone there with you.
00:23:49That's all I'm saying.
00:23:52Yeah.
00:23:54Maybe.
00:23:55Hey, can you find a parking spot okay?
00:23:56Uh, I actually walked here. I don't have a car.
00:24:09You don't have a car in LA?
00:24:10Yeah, or any other city. I don't have a car.
00:24:12Speaking of, nice one. I like it.
00:24:13Thanks.
00:24:14Is that, like, an environmental issue, or...?
00:24:15No, my life's just pretty contained to this area, so...
00:24:17I don't need a car.
00:24:18I don't need a car.
00:24:19I don't need a car.
00:24:20I don't need a car.
00:24:21You don't need a car.
00:24:22I don't need a car.
00:24:23Hey, can you find a parking spot okay?
00:24:24Uh, I actually walked here. I don't have a car.
00:24:25You don't have a car in LA?
00:24:26Yeah. Or any other city. I don't have a car.
00:24:29Speaking of, nice one. I like it.
00:24:31Thanks.
00:24:33Is that, like, an environmental issue, or...?
00:24:35No. My life's just pretty contained to this area, so...
00:24:37I don't need a car.
00:24:38No. My life's just pretty contained to this area, so...
00:24:40I don't need a car.
00:24:48So what made you come around?
00:24:50Does it matter? You seemed really desperate and pathetic.
00:24:52Just be glad I'm letting you do this.
00:24:54Huh.
00:24:56A charity case. I'll take it.
00:24:59So are you from around here, or...?
00:25:00Did you have something to write this down with?
00:25:02No, I just prefer to listen.
00:25:04Oh, God. Are you, like, one of those waiters
00:25:05who doesn't write anything down
00:25:07and then fucks the order all up?
00:25:09Uh, no.
00:25:10I'm, like, one of those waiters
00:25:11who doesn't write anything down
00:25:12and gets it all right.
00:25:14By the way, no names, places, pictures,
00:25:16nothing that can tie me to this article,
00:25:17or I will rip your balls off.
00:25:19I don't even know your real name.
00:25:21Where are we going, anyway?
00:25:22I have an 11 o'clock.
00:25:24In the morning?
00:25:30Hey, Ruth. I'm so sorry I'm late.
00:25:31Oh, no problem, Natalie.
00:25:32Jared's waiting in the kitchen.
00:25:33Did you hear that, Natalie?
00:25:34Jared's waiting in the kitchen.
00:25:37Natalie?
00:25:38And, uh, who's there?
00:25:39Oh, hi. I'm Mitch.
00:25:40A friend from out of town.
00:25:41He has nothing to do today
00:25:42because he has no friends.
00:25:44Also, he's a little slow.
00:25:46Do you mind if he hangs out here for the hour?
00:25:48Oh, bless his heart.
00:25:49Of course. Come in.
00:25:50Thanks.
00:25:51Hey, this is weird.
00:25:53Who's Jared?
00:25:54Her 10-year-old son.
00:25:56She's paying me to have sex with her 10-year-old son?
00:25:57This is what, you know what?
00:25:58I can't do this.
00:25:59Shut up. Pretend you don't exist
00:26:00and shut the door.
00:26:03For the record, I'm not comfortable with this.
00:26:08Great.
00:26:09So what do all these equations have in common?
00:26:11So why do you tutor when you're pulling in over a thousand bucks a night?
00:26:21Escorts have family members that ask questions, too.
00:26:24Believe it or not, I actually enjoy teaching.
00:26:26You know, my tutor was a 300-pound guy whose breath smell like salami.
00:26:30Lovely.
00:26:31How did you get into this in the first place?
00:26:34Don't do that.
00:26:35Do what?
00:26:36Don't ask questions.
00:26:38How am I supposed to do my job, then?
00:26:41Just don't make it feel like an interview, you know?
00:26:43Let's just be friends.
00:26:44You do old friends, right?
00:26:48Yeah.
00:26:49And I ask them questions when I want to know things.
00:26:52Dad, I can already tell you're going to be so fucking annoying.
00:26:54Come in, two carrots, two cups of a jukubi.
00:26:59My baby, she knows how to keep that finger leaf.
00:27:05That was cute, babe.
00:27:06Well, there's more of where that came from.
00:27:08Oh, yeah.
00:27:09Yeah.
00:27:10That was for you.
00:27:11Oh, yeah.
00:27:12Hey, guys.
00:27:13Please stop having sex.
00:27:14We have company.
00:27:15Hi, babe.
00:27:16Hey, babe.
00:27:17Hey.
00:27:18Hey.
00:27:19Dominic, Dana, this is Mitch.
00:27:20Mitch.
00:27:21Hey.
00:27:22Hey.
00:27:23Hey, man.
00:27:24What'd you think of my song?
00:27:26It was, uh, inspiring.
00:27:32Oh, God.
00:27:35Dominic's going to be the next Bob Dylan and John Mayer.
00:27:38Bruno Mars or something.
00:27:40Certainly a wide range.
00:27:41Mm-hmm.
00:27:43Hey, thanks, man.
00:27:45Appreciate that.
00:27:46It means a lot.
00:27:52You guys should totally stay for lunch.
00:27:54Yeah.
00:28:00Shit.
00:28:01Yeah.
00:28:02I just ate.
00:28:03Really full, which is unfortunate, because this all looks delicious, but...
00:28:07So the nice car, the downtown loft.
00:28:10Is this all you, or did your parents have money when you were growing up?
00:28:15They helped you out?
00:28:16What's going on here?
00:28:17Single mom, high school teacher.
00:28:19What about your dad?
00:28:21Never met him.
00:28:26I'm still having trouble kind of wrapping my head around you.
00:28:28I mean, went to a great school, got a great education.
00:28:31You're not...awful looking.
00:28:34I just don't understand.
00:28:36Look, come on, you gotta give me something.
00:28:49After graduation, I had to get a job that paid enough to put a dent in my student loans.
00:28:53This checked off all the boxes.
00:28:55Okay, well, there are plenty of normal jobs that pay well, right?
00:28:58Yeah, not like this.
00:28:59Once I hit a certain number, I'll call it quits.
00:29:01I've got some ideas of what I want to do, but for now, this is it.
00:29:04Number?
00:29:05What kind of number are we talking about?
00:29:07Last year, I made 213,000 tax-free.
00:29:10I figure at that rate, another two and a half years, and I'll have the flexibility to do what I want.
00:29:16Holy shit.
00:29:19Gotta get ready.
00:29:20Don't be so shocked.
00:29:23So, tell me about yourself.
00:29:26Who is Mitchell Cooper?
00:29:28Can we just be like friends and hang out and chill and not ask questions?
00:29:32Hey, asshole.
00:29:33I don't sound like that.
00:29:34What do you want to know?
00:29:36I don't know.
00:29:37Anything, whatever.
00:29:38Just people with normal lives fascinate me.
00:29:41Normal?
00:29:42Is that what you think of me?
00:29:44I don't know.
00:29:46Let's see.
00:29:47Well, I worked at the Los Angeles Review.
00:29:51I mostly wrote for the obituary section.
00:29:54That's kind of cool in like a gothic moment kind of way.
00:29:57I don't know.
00:29:58I just kind of, kind of enjoy finding the best possible combination of words to tell someone's
00:30:04story, you know?
00:30:05I like it when I read the obituary and I, uh, look at the picture of the person smiling
00:30:12and looking all happy and I forget about the pancreatic cancer or whatever shit happened.
00:30:17It's nice.
00:30:18Is it me up?
00:30:20Um, yeah.
00:30:25Sure.
00:30:26Sure.
00:30:35Well, I'll sit down.
00:30:43If you're gonna be seen with me, I can't have you wearing that.
00:30:46Well, what's wrong with what I'm wearing?
00:30:50You look like Mr. Rogers.
00:31:00What?
00:31:01I look like a band member from Jessie and the Rippers from Full House.
00:31:04That's what.
00:31:05I think you look hip and handsome like you belong.
00:31:08And a Robin Thicke video.
00:31:09A little bit.
00:31:13If you're gonna be seen with me, this is what you want.
00:31:15You just get a couple different colored t-shirts.
00:31:18You rotate them around.
00:31:19It'll be like a whole new outfit.
00:31:20The chain looks great on you.
00:31:22I...
00:31:23It does.
00:31:24I'm gonna wait at the bar until I rent a client.
00:31:27Don't leave.
00:31:28When I do get somebody, I'm gonna go to room 1516.
00:31:30Just wait in the hall until I'm done.
00:31:32Remember, you're a ghost.
00:31:33Okay.
00:31:34But if I do summon you, you may engage me.
00:31:39Engage you?
00:31:40What are you, the NSA?
00:31:42Do I look like I'm laughing?
00:31:43On the outside, no.
00:31:44But maybe on the inside?
00:31:45No.
00:31:46Okay.
00:31:47Have a drink?
00:31:48All right.
00:31:49Would you pay to have sex with me?
00:31:50I thought we've already been through this.
00:31:51I can't afford you.
00:31:52I know, but like, am I fucking hot enough?
00:31:53Oh.
00:31:54I mean, the pros need a pep talk once in a while, huh?
00:31:56I mean, yeah, you're hot.
00:31:57I understand it's a part of aging, but I still think of myself as a young guy.
00:32:10All right.
00:32:11All right.
00:32:12All right.
00:32:13I'll let you feel something that's manly, huh?
00:32:15That's funny.
00:32:16But if you try that shit again, I'm gonna, like, um, smoke off and I'm supposed to be
00:32:22like that.
00:32:23Yeah.
00:32:24All right.
00:32:25All right.
00:32:26All right.
00:32:27All right.
00:32:28I'll let you feel something that's manly, huh?
00:32:31That's funny.
00:32:32But if you try that shit again, I'm gonna, like, um, smoke off and I'm supposed to be
00:32:37like that.
00:32:38All right.
00:32:39All right.
00:32:40All right.
00:32:41I was just, I was just messing around.
00:32:43Come on.
00:32:44There's no need to get worked up here.
00:32:45Come on.
00:32:46We're just having drinks.
00:32:47Oh.
00:32:48Oh.
00:32:49Oh.
00:32:50Oh.
00:32:51Fuck yes.
00:32:52Oh.
00:32:53Oh my God.
00:32:55Bullshit.
00:32:56What?
00:32:57You don't think it's possible for me to enjoy the sex?
00:33:00Not to that degree.
00:33:01And certainly not with a guy like that.
00:33:02I gotta have something for them to come back for.
00:33:05I mean, it's all about generating regulars.
00:33:07What?
00:33:08You think those artificial orgasm noises is what brings them back?
00:33:10Did I get rave reviews?
00:33:12Yeah.
00:33:13I'll be sure to check out your Yelp page when I get home.
00:33:15Yeah, you should.
00:33:16Five stars.
00:33:21I was texting so much.
00:33:22Girlfriend?
00:33:23No, just people.
00:33:26All right.
00:33:27Meet me here tomorrow, 10 a.m.
00:33:29All right.
00:33:30Hey.
00:33:31Seriously, thanks for doing this.
00:33:37Rides on me.
00:33:43It's nice of them to give me a complimentary tea.
00:33:45So do you have a pimp or do you do all your own boogings?
00:33:48All generated by yours truly.
00:33:50An entrepreneur.
00:33:52Why go pimpless?
00:33:54They take too much of the pie for what they're worth.
00:33:57But isn't it, like, dangerous for you to be out there all alone?
00:34:01I'm not gonna answer another question until you man up and get a pedicure.
00:34:05No, I'm not gonna get a pedicure.
00:34:07I've never had a pedicure before.
00:34:08I'm not gonna get a pedicure.
00:34:09Hey, do manicures come with this?
00:34:11No, that's extra.
00:34:12Would you like one?
00:34:14Well, I just figure since we're here, right?
00:34:17Right.
00:34:18One-stop shopping sort of thing.
00:34:21No polish, though.
00:34:23No, of course not.
00:34:24No polish.
00:34:25Yeah.
00:34:26Yeah.
00:34:27It varies.
00:34:28Anywhere from two to eight guys a week.
00:34:30Most of them are regular stuff.
00:34:32Let's just back up a little bit.
00:34:33How do you even get into this in the first place?
00:34:35Dana had just started working and she was making all this money.
00:34:39while I was barely covering and running from tutoring.
00:34:42And, um, one night she took me to a club and introduced me to a pimp.
00:34:47Oh, so you did have a pimp at one point.
00:34:50Yes.
00:34:52Fucker.
00:34:53Yeah, for a minute.
00:34:54Fuck.
00:34:59Yeah, for a minute.
00:35:03He gave me the $900 price tag and, um, called over one of his clients
00:35:08and before I knew it his client came over and pulls out a wad of cash
00:35:12and, um, puts it right in front of me.
00:35:16You tell yourself that you would never do something like that for money.
00:35:21But when it's staring at you right in the face.
00:35:30Come on.
00:35:31Let's play another game.
00:35:33Let's go.
00:35:34Uh-oh.
00:35:35Yeah.
00:35:36Another game where I'd kick your ass.
00:35:37All right, this is unfair.
00:35:38I don't have this version.
00:35:39I've got two years ago.
00:35:43Well, aren't you guys in a celebratory mood?
00:35:45Celebrating Benny's promotion, huh?
00:35:48You little prick, right?
00:35:50Now, I bet he has sucked more dick than you to get where you are.
00:35:54Right there, Benny.
00:35:55Right?
00:35:56Come on.
00:35:57Relax.
00:35:58Sweet tits, okay?
00:35:59We're just having some fun.
00:36:00All right?
00:36:01Let's have another shot.
00:36:03Hey.
00:36:04You want to move this party upstairs?
00:36:06Whoa.
00:36:07Whoa.
00:36:08Group.
00:36:09Group table here.
00:36:11Shut the fuck up, Benny.
00:36:13All right?
00:36:14Drink your drink, all right?
00:36:15She can take it.
00:36:16She can take pretty much anything I can give her, right?
00:36:19You fucking slut.
00:36:26You know how many cocks you would have to sit on to pay for a shirt like this?
00:36:30All right, that's fucking up.
00:36:31Mitch.
00:36:36Something going on over here?
00:36:38Whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:36:39Mind your own fucking business, pal, okay?
00:36:43No, he's not going to mind his own business because he's my bodyguard.
00:36:46And if you don't shut the fuck up, he's going to beat the crap out of you.
00:36:49Oh, wow.
00:36:55Tough guy.
00:37:00You heard him.
00:37:01If you don't shut the fuck up, I'm going to beat the crap out of you.
00:37:08I'm going to get the fuck out of here.
00:37:10Fuck this.
00:37:16Wait, wait.
00:37:29Wait.
00:37:30Mitch, Mitch, Mitch.
00:37:31Wait, wait, wait.
00:37:32What are you, using me?
00:37:33Is, like, some sort of pimp or something?
00:37:34Okay, we're using each other.
00:37:35You get what you want, and I get what I want.
00:37:36I can't beat up five guys.
00:37:37I'm not Bruce Lee.
00:37:38They're not going to talk.
00:37:39They're not going to actually do anything.
00:37:40Probably.
00:37:41Think how great your article will be.
00:37:52Just don't get me killed, okay?
00:37:55Thanks.
00:37:59Who keeps texting you?
00:38:00People text.
00:38:01Friends text.
00:38:02I'm sure you text.
00:38:03Yeah, but that's, like, the text frequency of a very desperate woman.
00:38:05Hey, we're done here, right?
00:38:08Yeah, I guess.
00:38:10All right.
00:38:11I'll see you later.
00:38:14Just like that.
00:38:16Since when does a pimp have to explain anything to his hoe?
00:38:34Bye.
00:38:37Bye.
00:38:38Bye.
00:38:42Bye.
00:38:44Bye.
00:38:46Bye.
00:38:47We just want to32.
00:39:02Bye.
00:39:36I'm not planning on it.
00:40:06I only caught the end, but I think you were doing a little too much.
00:40:23You followed me.
00:40:24Yeah, I followed you.
00:40:25All that text messaging, you were giving me like a creepy drug pin vibe.
00:40:29I need to know what it was, and now I know.
00:40:33No, a prostitute was worried about being linked to a seedy underworld.
00:40:37Yeah, if you're going to be in charge of my safety, I need to know that you're not going
00:40:40to just sketch off and leave me with a potentially dangerous client.
00:40:43I thought you said this wasn't going to be dangerous.
00:40:45It's not going to be dangerous for you.
00:40:46I'm a sitting duck out there.
00:40:48Look, you're my ticket to that job.
00:40:50Okay?
00:40:51I'm not just going to leave you.
00:40:53I just wanted to be clear.
00:40:55We're clear.
00:40:56Perfect.
00:40:59How'd you meet her?
00:41:01Who?
00:41:02The girl you had been to over the bathroom sink.
00:41:04I'm sure she has a name.
00:41:13I'm sure she does, but I don't know.
00:41:17Okay, look, that app connected us.
00:41:19All right?
00:41:20What do I care if she's on her shift break?
00:41:24Is this a rare occurrence?
00:41:27No.
00:41:28This is fascinating.
00:41:31Do you get tested?
00:41:34Often.
00:41:35What's been your worst scare?
00:41:36Hep B.
00:41:37Hep C.
00:41:39Seriously?
00:41:40Seriously.
00:41:41But you're all like it.
00:41:41Yeah, everything's fine.
00:41:42You?
00:41:43Oh, I'm fine.
00:41:44That two-week wait?
00:41:45Holy shit, right?
00:41:47I couldn't eat.
00:41:48I couldn't sleep.
00:41:52The worst part is going to that clinic and sitting all alone.
00:41:58It's awful.
00:42:00And the place smells like a feeling at home.
00:42:04The, uh, the hung poster of the ethnically diverse STD-free people just kind of smiling there.
00:42:11Yeah, what the fuck is that about?
00:42:12Hey, I don't know what you're doing on Sunday, but, uh, I'm headed to my dad's house for dinner, and if...
00:42:22You want me to meet your family?
00:42:24Not my family.
00:42:25I mean, it's just my dad and my sister.
00:42:28But, yeah, it'll be fun.
00:42:31What's this really about?
00:42:34What do you mean?
00:42:35I thought it was poor form to bring your work home with you.
00:42:37Well, you're a presentable piece of work.
00:42:42Okay, look, my family thinks that I'm kind of, like, a big fuck-up.
00:42:46And, well, you're smart and pretty and personable, and if I were to bring someone like you home,
00:42:51you know, you think I'm getting my shit together.
00:42:56You think I'm pretty?
00:42:58Look, just...
00:42:59Do you know what I'm doing?
00:43:03I suppose I'll wear something tasteful and girlfriend-y.
00:43:08But I'm not holding your hand, and you can't call me babe or boo or anything that starts with a B.
00:43:13Oh, my God, Monke, you're gonna be great.
00:43:14Don't even.
00:43:20With all the time you're spending on this article, it better be good, ma'am.
00:43:23That's good.
00:43:24I think.
00:43:26I don't know.
00:43:27Wow.
00:43:28You sound super confident.
00:43:30How far into it are you?
00:43:31I'm still in the, uh, researching stage.
00:43:35You gonna tell me what it's about or what?
00:43:37Nope.
00:43:39Why?
00:43:40You're just gonna be annoying about it.
00:43:42Am I ever annoying?
00:43:44All right, fine.
00:43:45It's, um, just some profile of some girl.
00:43:48Something.
00:43:50And she's topical?
00:43:51Why?
00:43:53Well, uh, she went to Stanford.
00:43:56Second to your school, but.
00:43:58And, um, you know, men pay her for, uh, for sex.
00:44:07You're doing a profile on a prostitute?
00:44:09Well, I'm gonna get technical about it, I guess, but.
00:44:13Well, I mean, they do say right what you know.
00:44:15What are you fucking doing?
00:44:17You didn't tell me you were Bruce fucking Wayne.
00:44:41Is this new money?
00:44:43Old money?
00:44:44What's going on here?
00:44:45My dad was a songwriter in the 70s.
00:44:48Probably a bunch of classics that you've never heard of and none that I care to remember.
00:44:53You look like Betty White's granddaughter.
00:45:06Did you win your chess tournament?
00:45:07I did, actually.
00:45:08I look great.
00:45:10Shit, how do I address the butler?
00:45:11I've never done this.
00:45:12I don't have a butler.
00:45:14Ahem, hey!
00:45:15I was beginning to think you forgot about me.
00:45:17You?
00:45:18Come on.
00:45:18Hey, I'm Natalie.
00:45:19Holy shit, you're pretty.
00:45:22Well, you're adorable yourself, little lady.
00:45:24This is my sister.
00:45:25But you're, like, so fucking pretty.
00:45:29You're, uh, you're so fucking pretty.
00:45:31I like her.
00:45:37See, Dad's not getting on you about the cursing.
00:45:39If he's gonna make me play JV football, he's gonna have to deal with the cursing I'm exposed to.
00:45:43Why is he making you play football?
00:45:46Because Mitch quit when he was in high school and he doesn't want me ending up like him.
00:45:50Why?
00:45:50What's wrong with Mitch?
00:45:51Dad says he's poor and will continue to be poor if he keeps working in a dying industry.
00:45:56Wait here.
00:45:59Home.
00:46:00I love it.
00:46:02Mitch is here!
00:46:05He's on to some workout video these days.
00:46:12Mitchell!
00:46:14Ha ha ha!
00:46:16Dad, hey.
00:46:17It's a...
00:46:18Ha, yeah.
00:46:19Let's see if I can.
00:46:20Yeah, yeah, you too.
00:46:22You're wearing your contact lenses again, aren't you?
00:46:24Yeah.
00:46:25You look a lot less anal without your glasses.
00:46:28Thank you, I think.
00:46:31And this must be?
00:46:32I'm Natalie.
00:46:33Gorgeous.
00:46:34Just gorgeous.
00:46:36I'm Charles.
00:46:36You have a beautiful home.
00:46:38Nah, it's alright.
00:46:39It's been a while since, uh, Mitchell brought a girlfriend around here.
00:46:42How long have you two been dating?
00:46:45Uh...
00:46:46Six.
00:46:47Four...
00:46:48Four to six months.
00:46:49We average enough to find.
00:46:50The beginning is always weird.
00:46:51Does it start with the first text message, the first kiss?
00:46:54First kiss.
00:46:55Totes.
00:46:56Totes.
00:46:57Monkey, why don't you write that down?
00:46:58First kiss.
00:47:00Stanford.
00:47:02That's impressive.
00:47:04I knew a girl from Stanford once.
00:47:06Twice, actually.
00:47:09Natalie's, uh, running her own tutoring business.
00:47:11Can you tutor me in biology?
00:47:13My teacher's got it out for me.
00:47:14She's a grade-A cunt.
00:47:16Language.
00:47:17JV football.
00:47:19I wish I could, but I only teach math.
00:47:21Ha!
00:47:22Mitchell was never any good at math.
00:47:24Emily here's a whiz.
00:47:25Look at that.
00:47:25Ten minutes before putting me down.
00:47:27It's a new record.
00:47:28Not everybody is good at the same things, Mitchell.
00:47:31Dad doesn't think Mitch applies himself,
00:47:33and says he looks to blame other people for his problems.
00:47:35I think Mitch is going to be just fine.
00:47:38I've actually been reading the article that he's writing for that magazine,
00:47:41and it's really good.
00:47:43He's a great writer.
00:47:45Well, that's great news, Mitchell.
00:47:47What's it about?
00:47:48The article.
00:47:49Uh, it's, um, well, you know when, um,
00:47:54how would I describe this?
00:47:59It's about me.
00:48:01And my business.
00:48:03The learning habits of children,
00:48:05and what motivates them and such.
00:48:08Wow, can't wait to read that one.
00:48:10No offense.
00:48:11Yeah, no disrespect to your profession, Natalie,
00:48:14but it seems like if this is a one-shot audition thing,
00:48:16why not just do something a little more, I don't know, risque?
00:48:20Oh, I have a feeling if the article gets published,
00:48:22the, uh, the risque will pop out.
00:48:30Yeah.
00:48:34Hey.
00:48:35Hey.
00:48:38She's pretty great, huh?
00:48:39Yeah, you might want to hang on to that one.
00:48:42Yeah.
00:48:44Hey, do you mind if I, uh...
00:48:47Uh, sure.
00:48:50What can I do for you?
00:48:50Do you remember last week when I was short on rent?
00:49:03Well, since I'm not going to find out about this article for a few more weeks,
00:49:06I'm going to be short next week, too.
00:49:08Mitchell, you know that I don't mind helping you out,
00:49:10even though my therapist is begging me to stop enabling you.
00:49:12Well, it's just until I get this job,
00:49:14and by the way, it's looking good,
00:49:15so I'm sure your therapist will be fine with that.
00:49:17It's not just Dr. Polanski.
00:49:20Yeah?
00:49:24It's Crystal as well.
00:49:26Who's Crystal?
00:49:27She's my astrologist.
00:49:28I'm sorry, you're what?
00:49:28My astrologist.
00:49:29She says when Mercury is in retrograde,
00:49:32like it is right now,
00:49:35I can't do anything financially.
00:49:36In fact, she's instructed me to freeze all my accounts for the month.
00:49:39That, this is the last time.
00:49:48I swear.
00:49:50Mitchell, I'm sorry.
00:49:51I wish I could help you out.
00:49:54Retrograde is retrograde.
00:49:57Right, uh, retrograde.
00:49:59Yeah.
00:50:04Okay, then.
00:50:04Oh, have you gone to any of those meetings
00:50:08that Dr. Polanski suggested for the sex-
00:50:10No, I didn't.
00:50:11You really might want to go.
00:50:12He can help you.
00:50:15We're going to do that.
00:50:16Okay.
00:50:17Okay.
00:50:22Hey, just text us when you, uh,
00:50:23you get picked up, all right?
00:50:24I'll get a ride home from one of the girls.
00:50:27Have fun.
00:50:28Thanks.
00:50:30Hey, thanks for being so cool at dinner tonight.
00:50:32Um, I know my dad could be a little much.
00:50:36Hmm, no, they're cool.
00:50:38I had fun.
00:50:39Although, if you do get this job,
00:50:41don't tell your dad that I'm your prostitute muse.
00:50:44It'll break his heart.
00:50:46I really think he likes you.
00:50:49I know.
00:50:52So, uh,
00:50:54you probably want to go home now.
00:50:58What, are you kicking me out?
00:50:59No, I'm just saying.
00:51:01I mean, gears you're out if you want it.
00:51:04Yeah, what I want to do
00:51:06is I want to drink wine
00:51:07on the porch of that giant fucking Scarface mansion.
00:51:10That's what I want to do.
00:51:11Then let's do that.
00:51:14Why do you go to a bar to pick up guys?
00:51:17Why don't you have, like, an online profile?
00:51:19I'm not a fan of the internet.
00:51:21No, that's trending downwards anyway,
00:51:23so I wouldn't worry about it.
00:51:24No, really, why are you an escort?
00:51:29And I don't want to hear any bullshit
00:51:30about how bad the economy is.
00:51:32I mean, you can do anything you want.
00:51:37I can't get a job.
00:51:38Bullshit.
00:51:39I don't believe that.
00:51:43Okay, look, this is off the record.
00:51:46Okay.
00:51:46No, I'm serious.
00:51:49You cannot put this in the article.
00:51:51Okay.
00:52:02When I was a senior in college,
00:52:04I made a list of the guys
00:52:06that I had sex with in school,
00:52:08and I put it into this PowerPoint presentation
00:52:11with pictures and things like dick-size estimates,
00:52:14and, I mean, it was awesome.
00:52:16And I forwarded it to a bunch of my girlfriends
00:52:18as a stupid joke.
00:52:20Is there, like, a lot of guys on this list?
00:52:24What's a lot?
00:52:26I don't know, like...
00:52:2820s, 30s, 9s?
00:52:32There was a lot.
00:52:35I was in college.
00:52:37I enjoy sex,
00:52:38and I don't think that that is anything
00:52:39to be ashamed of.
00:52:41But one of my asshole friends
00:52:46decides to forward it to one of her guy friends
00:52:49who forwards it to one of his guy friends,
00:52:51and before you know it,
00:52:52it's hit all the major blogs,
00:52:54the Huffington Post.
00:52:56Piers Morgan was gracious enough
00:52:59to use me as an example on CNN
00:53:01in supporting his claim
00:53:03that our selfie generation
00:53:05is the demise of civilization as we know it.
00:53:08I remember reading about this.
00:53:11That's me.
00:53:12That's you.
00:53:13That's me.
00:53:16Try getting a job when every Google search of your name
00:53:19has the word whore next to it.
00:53:20I figure if I'm going to be called a whore,
00:53:25I might as well get paid like one.
00:53:28I'm sorry.
00:53:39Everybody's got something like this.
00:53:42No, but that's like a big something.
00:53:44Thanks, dick.
00:53:45What's up?
00:53:51Shit.
00:53:52We've got to go pick up Emily.
00:54:00What happened?
00:54:01The girls wouldn't stop calling me Icebox,
00:54:09and now I feel sick too.
00:54:11I just want to go home.
00:54:13They called you what?
00:54:14Icebox, the girl who plays football
00:54:16in the Little Giants.
00:54:18Little Giants, that's pretty funny.
00:54:21No, it's not funny at all.
00:54:23Why are they so mean to me?
00:54:25What did I do wrong?
00:54:26You know what?
00:54:26I'm going to say something.
00:54:27Nobody bullies my little sister.
00:54:28No, I got this.
00:54:29No, you don't have to.
00:54:30No, I got this.
00:54:41She looks like one tough motherfucker.
00:54:43Language.
00:54:45But yeah.
00:54:55You're not what I expected.
00:54:57Oh, shit.
00:54:58What?
00:54:58That's the wrong house.
00:54:59Listen, you little bitch.
00:55:00I knew girls like you in high school,
00:55:02and you know what happened to them?
00:55:03Come on.
00:55:05You better get your shit together
00:55:07and stop picking on other girls.
00:55:08You don't make yourself taller
00:55:10by standing on the toes of others.
00:55:11Got it?
00:55:12Dad?
00:55:14Yeah.
00:55:14Go ahead.
00:55:15Call your daddy.
00:55:16I'd like to have a word with him, too.
00:55:21What?
00:55:22Hey, you're at the wrong house.
00:55:23Get back to the car.
00:55:23Wrong house.
00:55:24Let's get back to the car.
00:55:25Let's go.
00:55:31But you couldn't get in the driver's seat?
00:55:32My license was fired five years ago.
00:55:35Hurry, hurry.
00:55:35I've got a ponytail and everything.
00:55:37Why do I need to get away from the driver's seat?
00:55:38Don't let those girls get to you.
00:55:49I wish you were that easy.
00:55:51Well, they're threatened by you.
00:55:53You're on the football team,
00:55:54getting to spend all of that intimate time
00:55:56with all the cute guys that they have crushes on.
00:55:59And they're not confident,
00:56:00so I'll try and make you feel as sad as they do.
00:56:03You really think that?
00:56:06Yep.
00:56:08And if you let them get to you,
00:56:10then they've won.
00:56:14You know you wouldn't.
00:56:15So what, uh...
00:56:16You all closed up for the night?
00:56:17Glad it's happened to two.
00:56:19But I'm never closed for you, Tommy boy.
00:56:22The show ain't very late.
00:56:23Fine, fine.
00:56:24I didn't feel like going home straight after the party.
00:56:25I thought I'd stop buying it.
00:56:27My bedroom's upstairs if you want to go to sleep.
00:56:29Your bedroom's upstairs?
00:56:31It's all you said.
00:56:31Yeah, you can sleep up there.
00:56:32I'll sleep here on the couch.
00:56:34Like we have to sleep in the same bedroom
00:56:35if your dad's gonna think we're dating.
00:56:37Then you can tell me what you think, man.
00:56:38I'm being a gentleman.
00:56:39Oh, uh, by the way...
00:56:41Don't be weird.
00:56:41I am not being weird.
00:56:43You totally be fine.
00:56:44I'm not being weird.
00:56:44Okay, shh.
00:56:45Shh.
00:56:58You need help there, Shrek?
00:56:59It was really sweet what you did for Emily tonight.
00:57:11Even if it meant making a harmless girl cry.
00:57:14There are no harmless high school girls.
00:57:17You really took charge.
00:57:21Sometimes you ought to read a situation
00:57:22and take the bull by the horns.
00:57:23When was the last time you kissed a guy off the job?
00:57:28I don't kiss guys on the job.
00:57:30When was your last kiss?
00:57:33I don't know.
00:57:34It's been a while.
00:57:38Any new techniques I should know about?
00:57:39Should we live on the mirrors of the side
00:57:48So you could feel true
00:57:54Seeing for you
00:57:56Come inside
00:58:01Would you like it?
00:58:04Yeah.
00:58:05Would you like it?
00:58:06Yeah.
00:58:07If you're next to Edvarda,
00:58:08Hmm.
00:58:08Hey, Mitch.
00:58:18I want you to have this.
00:58:21What is it?
00:58:22I overheard your conversation with your dad.
00:58:24No, I can't take this.
00:58:26No, no, take it. You'll pay me back after you get your new job.
00:58:32Just take it.
00:58:38Uh, what? Hey, so what do you, uh, what do you do now?
00:58:43Uh, run home and then I, uh, have an appointment at the clinic.
00:58:47You know, the one over on Grand Avenue?
00:58:48Yeah, yeah, I like that one.
00:58:50Comfortable waiting room chairs over there.
00:58:51Yeah, they're a little worn for my liking, but it's not as bad as the one on Wilshire.
00:58:55Sure, those are bad.
00:58:59Um.
00:59:01Go already.
00:59:03Hey, uh.
00:59:11It only wants, it only wants to start
00:59:14Come inside
00:59:20Ooh, so we can feel
00:59:25Ooh, that all is revealed
00:59:31Ooh, come inside
00:59:39Ooh, so we can feel
00:59:45Ooh, your heart, I will steal
00:59:51But what would we know of the sentient life?
00:59:56We'd only know, we'd only know the life
01:00:02And it only wants, it only wants us all
01:00:07Can I breathe in when you're done?
01:00:17What are you doing here?
01:00:18You said how much you hated these places, so
01:00:21I don't want you to be alone
01:00:24What if this looks depressing?
01:00:43How long you been here?
01:00:45Hours
01:00:45Hitting the clinic, huh?
01:00:47Quite a thoughtful gesture for a work associate
01:00:51I'm a, uh, I'm a good friend, you know?
01:00:56I'm helping you build this desk, aren't I?
01:00:59Yeah
01:01:00Your dad know about this escort?
01:01:03He's met her, yeah, but
01:01:04He doesn't, like, know what she does
01:01:06And you're not gonna tell him?
01:01:09Nothing to tell if nothing's going on, right?
01:01:11Look, man, I can just talk to her about things that I can't talk about with just anyone
01:01:15What's that mean? You can't talk to me about stuff?
01:01:16She doesn't judge me, man
01:01:19Mitch, I don't judge
01:01:21I observe
01:01:22And I think it's great that you got a new buddy
01:01:25But why not bond with someone who's in the World of Warcraft or Sudoku or water parks
01:01:30Anything other than sex with dudes for money?
01:01:34That's dangerous
01:01:35Who do you, why are you standing?
01:01:37You call me over here to help you build a desk
01:01:39And I'm doing all the work
01:01:40I help you sometimes?
01:01:42When?
01:01:43Like, last week, I gave you a fully loaded iPod
01:01:46That was a first generation with a bunch of Celtic music on it
01:01:48I don't even know what I'm gonna do with that
01:01:50Listen to it! Go for a fucking jog!
01:01:52I can't, I can't...
01:01:53But it's very rousing music
01:01:54So where are you going?
01:01:55You know what?
01:01:56Like, every time we hang out, all you do is just point out my problems
01:01:59Well, here's your problem, man
01:02:00You're an asshole
01:02:01I don't feel the need to tell you that every single day
01:02:04What? No!
01:02:05Mitch!
01:02:08I can't do these kinds of things!
01:02:10Hey, Gary
01:02:19Yeah
01:02:20What is this?
01:02:49Uh, why don't you have a seat, Mitch?
01:02:52We just want to talk to you
01:02:53Uh, about what?
01:02:57Mitch, take seat
01:02:58If you can stand, if you're more comfortable like that
01:03:00This is for you
01:03:02Why is Junior here?
01:03:06Why is my landlord here?
01:03:07They needed me for a lock apartment
01:03:09I asked what for
01:03:11They tell me
01:03:12I'm here to support
01:03:14What did they tell you?
01:03:17That you have a problem
01:03:18That's been taking over your life for years
01:03:20Even though you think you don't hurt people
01:03:23You do
01:03:24So, JP, you've staged an intervention
01:03:28There's four people here
01:03:30Typically, there's more than four
01:03:32Well, that's part of the problem
01:03:34These are the only people that care enough to show up
01:03:37You couldn't even get Allie here?
01:03:39No, Thursday tennis lessons
01:03:40That she missed last week
01:03:42Which turned in this thing
01:03:43JP told me about the sex app thing or whatever
01:03:47This is just getting out of hand, son
01:03:49Mitch, you have to stop the drinking
01:03:52It hurts the people you love
01:03:54Who love you back so much
01:03:56I'm, uh, not an alcoholic
01:03:59Drogues
01:04:00That's even worse
01:04:02My son is addicted to sex
01:04:04What?
01:04:05I think we got it from here, bud
01:04:07Thank you
01:04:08Son, I think it's time that you get serious
01:04:11About getting some real help
01:04:13I'm sorry
01:04:15You, you, sex, he's addicted to sex?
01:04:17As if it's a bad thing?
01:04:20We all care about you, Mitch
01:04:21We all just want to see you get better
01:04:23And what have I ever done to you?
01:04:28Whenever I have plans to visit you
01:04:29You cancel last minute
01:04:31You've been home like four weekends
01:04:33In the past two years
01:04:35You always say you're there for me
01:04:37But you're never actually there
01:04:39Mitchell, it doesn't matter how you ended up here
01:04:42The important thing is
01:04:44Where you go from here
01:04:46How I ended up here
01:04:48You want to use this weak-ass intervention
01:04:50To figure out how I ended up here
01:04:52Crystal says
01:04:53Fuck, Crystal
01:04:54Hell, I'm surprised
01:04:57You're even here
01:04:58Shouldn't you be
01:05:00Out walking the Great Wall
01:05:02Or
01:05:02Hanging out with some energy-healing voodoo master
01:05:05But you know what I do remember?
01:05:07I remember
01:05:08My high school graduation
01:05:09You not being there
01:05:13Because you were at fucking Burning Man
01:05:14No, Mitch
01:05:19Bullshit, you, Mitch
01:05:20Come on, man
01:05:22We didn't even
01:05:23This was just the intro part
01:05:24This six-ass
01:05:25How you say
01:05:27Six?
01:05:28Six-ass?
01:05:28Just
01:05:29You just have a ton of abs
01:05:30You know
01:05:31All right, I'm gonna head out there
01:05:47I'm here if you need me
01:05:49All right
01:05:55What is the deal?
01:05:57What?
01:06:00Nothing
01:06:00Nothing
01:06:01You were acting weird on the way over here
01:06:03And now you're not even looking at me
01:06:05I'm fine
01:06:07Does this have anything to do with the other night?
01:06:17I don't give a shit about that
01:06:18I don't give a shit about it
01:06:21You're out of this
01:06:22I'm sorry
01:06:24What I can do
01:06:25sizin help me
01:06:28Wow
01:06:30This looks so good
01:06:31Alright
01:06:41One
01:06:42Another thing
01:07:03I said no.
01:07:05I said no.
01:07:11It's okay.
01:07:13I can't.
01:07:20Hey.
01:07:22Jesus, the waiters here get creepier every day.
01:07:25Mitch, I can handle this, okay?
01:07:26Wait, you know this guy?
01:07:27Hey, buddy, I think you're gonna leave.
01:07:28Look, I've got a better idea.
01:07:29Maybe you and your faggot necklace
01:07:32could get the fuck out of my face,
01:07:34and later on I'll take a picture of me fucking your friend
01:07:36so you have something to jerk off.
01:07:37Hey, Mitch, stop it!
01:07:41Stop it!
01:07:42Hey, hey, hey!
01:07:45Get the fuck out of here!
01:07:46You know, you should really lock the door if you don't want people barging in.
01:07:50Since when you give a shit about protecting me?
01:07:51That's what you wanted, right?
01:07:52You know, you should really lock the door if you don't want people barging in.
01:07:56Since when you give a shit about protecting me?
01:07:57That's what you wanted, right?
01:07:58You wanted protection.
01:07:59You wanted someone to care about you, so that's exactly what I gave you.
01:08:00Oh, don't give me that.
01:08:01Oh, don't give me that.
01:08:02You're using me just like everybody else does.
01:08:03Plus for your magazine article to con your dad into giving you money.
01:08:04And you're perfect.
01:08:05You became a hooker because you bragged about me.
01:08:09fucking a bunch of guys in college.
01:08:10You know, you're perfect.
01:08:11You're perfect.
01:08:12You're perfect.
01:08:13You became a hooker because you bragged about fucking a bunch of guys in college.
01:08:17You know, you could say that Victoria is just a character that you play, but you like this
01:08:45job. You revel in it. You're comfortable in it. You're in control. You dictate the terms.
01:08:53You don't have to worry about being rejected by a bunch of guys. You just want to come all over you.
01:08:59And you're just a sad person who revels in his own self-loathing. I'll end the debate for you
01:09:05right now, Mitch. You're not a sex addict. You're just an emotionally crippled child with low
01:09:10self-esteem who uses sex to numb his feelings. Your problem isn't sex. Your problem is reality.
01:09:16Sex is just your pathetic fucking band-aid.
01:09:40You exhaust me in noise, bellowing black exhaust pipe smoke. And the smug won't wash from this unsuitable
01:10:08immigrant skin. Such a villainous grace. Oh, I don't know what you've done to your face.
01:10:23Some nights I can't figure out quite where your heart is.
01:10:38Oh, Los Angeles. Be kind.
01:10:47No more trouble for red lights
01:10:56I can learn to love you in good time
01:11:01Oh, Los Angeles. Be kind
01:11:08You asked me for an opportunity.
01:11:11I didn't have to give you a chance, and I did.
01:11:14And now you're telling me you had this great story
01:11:16and you can't write it.
01:11:18I guess that's accurate, yeah.
01:11:21Huh. Okay.
01:11:25That's it? You're not mad?
01:11:27Mad? The fuck do I care?
01:11:29I've got two writers out there who'd club a baby seal for the job.
01:11:32Well, look, I could write something else.
01:11:34I just need a little bit more time.
01:11:36I make my decision at the end of the week.
01:11:39Oh.
01:11:43Alright, well, thanks for the opportunity.
01:11:50Hey.
01:11:51It was none of my business, but when you came in here,
01:11:53you were hungry.
01:11:55You were inspired, and you really wanted this job.
01:11:58It's, what, just not important to you anymore?
01:12:01No, it still is.
01:12:03If you are a journalist, you write.
01:12:06If you can do anything else, you do anything else.
01:12:10If you're stuck, go back to the heart.
01:12:12Go back to what inspired you in the first place.
01:12:14You know, what really got you...
01:12:16Oh, I've got to take...
01:12:17David.
01:12:18Hi, any news?
01:12:20Damn.
01:12:21Okay.
01:12:22Okay.
01:12:23Um...
01:12:24Yeah.
01:12:51Oh, God!
01:12:52Ow!
01:12:53Jesus Christ, what the fuck are you doing?
01:12:54We need to talk.
01:12:55Hey!
01:12:56Oh!
01:12:57Then fucking call me!
01:12:58I do call you!
01:12:59You don't pick up my calls.
01:13:00You need to leave, I'm working.
01:13:01Not until you hear me out.
01:13:02Hey come on, I've got to call the police.
01:13:04Then hurry!
01:13:05I'm not going to call the police.
01:13:06I'm not going to call the police on the police.
01:13:07I'm not going to call the police.
01:13:08Did you want to call me?
01:13:09You don't, I'm not going to call them.
01:13:10All right.
01:13:11All right.
01:13:12All right, let's go.
01:13:13Go.
01:13:14And we're going to call them.
01:13:15Put them.
01:13:16Now, we're going to call me.
01:13:17This is where they're going to call the police.
01:13:18Oh, come on, come on.
01:13:20You don't pick up my calls.
01:13:21You need to leave. I'm working.
01:13:22Not until you hear me out.
01:13:23Hey, come on. I'm going to call the lease.
01:13:26Then hurry.
01:13:28All right, look, I know that you don't want to accept it,
01:13:32and I didn't want to admit it, but I...
01:13:35I like you in a way that I didn't think I was capable.
01:13:40He's in my wallet.
01:13:41You shut the fuck up.
01:13:44Look, we both know that you never needed anyone.
01:13:50To protect you, you've never needed men.
01:13:59You're just lonely.
01:14:11Say something.
01:14:13Open the door. I'm working.
01:14:32You're lucky I'm not going to call the police on you.
01:14:34Go home to your wife, asshole.
01:14:35Go home to your wife, asshole.
01:14:36Go home to your wife, asshole.
01:14:37Victoria isn't just a character she plays.
01:15:05Victoria is a character we all play.
01:15:12And tonight, some schlep of a guy will sit alone at a bar,
01:15:16with his head buried in his phone, ordering vodka after vodka.
01:15:22And if the powers that be decide that tonight is his night,
01:15:26an escort named Victoria will lean up against the bar,
01:15:29tell him he can buy her a drink, and blink those beautiful blue eyes.
01:15:34And if the guy is smart, he'll never let her slip away.
01:15:51Natalie?
01:15:53Your academic record is spotless, 4.0 GPA.
01:16:04But...
01:16:06But what?
01:16:08But you don't want your institution tarnished by the PowerPoint
01:16:12sex girl from Piers Morgan Live.
01:16:14Thank you so much for your time.
01:16:16But your essay is the reason we're accepting you into our MBA program.
01:16:24What?
01:16:25Your honesty about what happened to you was refreshing.
01:16:30Three of the five members of our selection committee
01:16:33have children who were bullied on the Internet.
01:16:36My daughter was one of them.
01:16:38What does it say about us if we let cyberbullying prevent
01:16:43a perfectly good MBA candidate from realizing her potential?
01:16:49Hm.
01:16:51It's a time-spiritual.
01:16:58What?
01:17:01It's a time-spiritual.
01:17:03It's all good, all right.
01:17:25Thanks, man.
01:17:33I look like a fucking waiter.
01:17:38You look good.
01:17:39Besides, it's what they make you wear to these recitals.
01:17:41I hate clarinet.
01:17:43Dad won't let me quit.
01:17:44Yeah.
01:17:45Hey, is he upstairs?
01:17:46Fuck if I knew.
01:17:50Speed squads.
01:17:51For 30 seconds, I want you to go as fast as you can
01:17:54with these speed squads.
01:17:555, 4, 3, 2, 1, go.
01:17:58As fast as you can.
01:17:59Down and lift.
01:18:00Down and lift as fast as you can.
01:18:02This is 30 seconds.
01:18:03That's been about 20 seconds right there.
01:18:05Go.
01:18:06As fast as you can.
01:18:08Speed.
01:18:09Speed.
01:18:10Speed.
01:18:11Speed.
01:18:12Faster, Zach.
01:18:13Zach.
01:18:14Let's go.
01:18:157, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, hold down.
01:18:18Hold down.
01:18:19Hold down.
01:18:20Hold down.
01:18:21Reach your arms forward as far forward as you can.
01:18:23Now what I want you to do, one last thing.
01:18:25Listen to me.
01:18:26Zach.
01:18:27Take a chance to arm your quads.
01:18:28I want you to reach your arms as far forward as you can.
01:18:30Hi, son.
01:18:31That is a table.
01:18:32Drop your head.
01:18:33That's good exercising.
01:18:34Stay right there.
01:18:35Listen.
01:18:36Yeah.
01:18:37Uh, the whole exercise thing.
01:18:39Yeah.
01:18:40Um, one of Emily's friends, asshole father, told Emily that when you get over 50, you got
01:18:46to work out every day.
01:18:47So she thinks if I don't exercise, I die.
01:18:50It's crazy.
01:18:51Sounds crazy.
01:18:52So look, uh, I got some more money for you if you still need it.
01:18:56What happened to, uh, Crystal and Mercury and...
01:18:59She left me.
01:19:00You were dating her?
01:19:01My astrologer.
01:19:02Of course.
01:19:03Son, she was 35 and a Pilates instructor.
01:19:05Do you have any idea what Pilates does to a woman's ass?
01:19:09So.
01:19:10How's Natalie?
01:19:11Or should I say, Victoria?
01:19:17I think it's a great article.
01:19:19I'm proud of you.
01:19:20You know, I used to steal your weed when I was a kid.
01:19:35Really?
01:19:36That was you?
01:19:37I always thought that was Rosalita.
01:19:39That was me.
01:19:40Well, that's all right.
01:19:41It was your mom's weed.
01:19:43Get the fuck out of here.
01:19:45Oh, yeah.
01:19:46I was on the straight and narrow until she came along.
01:19:49So, what about Natalie?
01:19:52Uh, I fucked that up.
01:19:56Well, you need to unfuck that up.
01:19:58Look, if what you wrote in this article is the truth,
01:20:02then you can't ignore your feelings.
01:20:04That regret is gonna grow inside of you
01:20:06and twist you into a dark and thorny place.
01:20:08I know.
01:20:09I've been there.
01:20:10It's not good.
01:20:12Smoke some weed.
01:20:14So, I've been thinking.
01:20:19I know you said I don't have to play football next season,
01:20:21but I kind of want to.
01:20:23Yeah, why is that?
01:20:24I don't know.
01:20:25I guess I don't mind the hitting and all the yelling and stuff.
01:20:29What?
01:20:31It's a boy.
01:20:34It's definitely a boy.
01:20:35It's not a boy.
01:20:36That's the only thing that makes sense.
01:20:37It's not a boy.
01:20:38What's his name?
01:20:40His name is Jonathan and he plays wide receiver
01:20:42and he is the cutest ass on the team.
01:20:44Language.
01:20:45Sorry, but...
01:20:47Do I even know this kid?
01:20:49Do you remember the guy who scored all the touchdowns at my games last year?
01:20:52What, Jonathan? Touchdown Jonathan?
01:20:54Yeah.
01:20:55He's pretty good.
01:20:56And I think he likes me.
01:20:57Oh, dear God.
01:21:08Hey.
01:21:10Hi.
01:21:13I read your article and, well, I think you misquoted me.
01:21:18Nobody even knows it's you. Just like you asked.
01:21:21But there are some lines in here I would have never said.
01:21:24Like what?
01:21:25You see enough unfaithful husbands and you start to get sickened by the whole notion of love.
01:21:32How can you trust men when you see them call their wives in front of you and say they love them after they just paid for sex?
01:21:38I don't think you can be in my industry and still believe in love. It's like being a scientist and believing in God.
01:21:44Yeah.
01:21:45Yeah.
01:21:46He definitely said all of that.
01:21:47I'd really like you to publish a retraction of that statement and revise it to say, you see enough unfaithful husbands and you start to question the notion of love.
01:21:59And then, when you finally experience it for yourself, you see what all the fuss is about.
01:22:06And then, you can't imagine not having that person in your life and you feel like the luckiest person in the world and you would do anything to make them feel the same way about you.
01:22:21I quit.
01:22:24I'm officially a grad student in September.
01:22:28Get an MBA.
01:22:29Make this tutoring thing a real business.
01:22:34I'll have to pay taxes.
01:22:36Well, that's, uh, that's good. That's, that's, that's really good for you. I'm happy for you.
01:22:50Yeah.
01:22:57Okay.
01:23:02Wait!
01:23:06I want that with Jonathan.
01:23:21Yeah.
01:23:22Over my dead body.
01:23:36That's all I want from you.
01:23:39That's all I want from you.
01:23:40Now I'm nothing in love.
01:23:45Sitting right next to me.
01:23:47And don't say a word.
01:23:52That's all I want from you.
01:23:54All I want from you.
01:23:57Hold my hand.
01:23:59Oh my hand.
01:24:02Talking is so
01:24:03so misunderstood.
01:24:06Oh my hand.
01:24:09Talking is so misunderstood.
01:24:12Oh my hand.
01:24:16Hold my hand.
01:24:21Hold my hand.
01:24:24Hold my hand.
01:24:26I'll come back to you.
01:24:56I'll come back to you.
01:25:26I'll come back to you.
01:25:56I'll come back to you.
01:26:26I'll come back to you.
01:26:56I'll come back to you.

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