Therapy Thursday: I Look Good, But Don't Get Hit On!
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00:00which therapist you need therapy thursday now on wild 94.1 i understand therapy hi everybody
00:05therapy thursday is where we talk it out and work it out whatever problem you have
00:10we will try and help you dr davi is here yep meredith md is here all day orlando bgyn is here
00:18just in case you have a problem we could solve them or try we are not smart but we do have
00:25microphones all right we try all right let's see here uh they're already coming in out of the 863
00:32uh this says for all of the doctors my wife and my sister my wife and her sister are best friends
00:39and she is at our home almost daily i find myself attracted to her and i want to know is that normal
00:46like is it transference or something like that i would never betray my queen but i'm trying to
00:53figure out where this is coming from because there's no physical relationship between us at
00:58all any idea doctors it's perfectly normal it i mean it is don't perfectly yeah perfectly normal to
01:07want to or fantasize to be able to identify a beautiful person a good looking person of the
01:12opposite sex yes i didn't say she was beautiful and good looking he did he's like what did he say
01:17he wanted to he fantasized it yeah he wants to get it he's not fantasizing of her if she's ugly
01:22she's attractive but but she might be though that's the thing that's where transference comes
01:26like put it this way if she's your wife ugly because i'm sure there's probably similarity right
01:30that's what i'm saying your wife might he didn't say anybody's looks he said this is my wife's sister
01:35and her best friend so there might be some transference meaning that he loves his wife
01:39and he sees parts of his wife in the sister so he's transferring that feeling over to her like you
01:47know i'm saying like i don't love i don't i'm lusting after this one because i love this one and
01:52i see parts of her in this so is that normal maybe i would say that that's a good explanation and it's
01:59also possible she has a hot sister and if you're into your wife with i hope you are then there's a
02:07likelihood that those similarities are also something that would you know that you're attracted to
02:11just don't move on it don't ever say anything but by any means don't tell anybody but us yeah and
02:17yeah you leave that in the closet yeah for sure don't say don't ever say anything about that anthony
02:23has uh brothers yeah do you see any of uh him and his siblings yes their sense of humor um although
02:30they have different fathers so they they look they don't look exactly similar is anthony the hot brother
02:37boy you better watch your mouth you're gonna do an answer this is not plead the fifth
02:42i mean it's therapy thursday i'm just trying to slide that in there write that one write that with
02:45that for monday yeah which is out of please i was gonna come back a text came out
02:51oh look at this when we have a new therapy thursday that just came in uh this side of the
02:58a13 says my husband cheated on me a few years ago and on this date every year since then i get down
03:05we've worked past it but i feel like i have ptsd in some sort of sense how do i work through this
03:12or am i just stuck with this annually yeah you're stuck with that day yeah i mean pretty much i don't
03:17think you ever i thought you were gonna be nicer about that no we're realistic i'm yeah we was trying
03:21to get you're never not gonna remember what you found out on on this there's just certain days
03:26that just stick out but you know what's funny is we use the q words and and keywords and stuff
03:33because therapy tells you to do so and so you're like we worked past it have you because if every
03:39year it boomerangs back and you feel the same feelings you may be not as far past it as you
03:46thought so you probably have more work to do and maybe one day you can get past it where you're not
03:51reminded you create more happy days then they will outweigh the bad days if you haven't then those
03:58bad days still stay prevalent maybe it's a day to that sounded smart to me it did yeah maybe that'd
04:04be a great day to show yourself some like some like self-love some self-care manicure massage
04:10or don't do it yourself and do a combine you said y'all are just still together yeah so make that a
04:15love day probably don't want to see him like she does but we're getting past it so like i mean that's
04:20when you go out to the you know the burns dinner like you know like we're gonna do that go do i like
04:26the whole do something for yourself and then go be a city girl for one day
04:29see city girls will mess you up you get out there and one of them gonna say something slick like
04:34ain't this today he did so and so no don't do that girl uh i got one that came in for you oh it says
04:40my child's father and i are butting heads with co-parenting mainly it's a discipline issue it's
04:45always fun and games at his house even when she's supposed to be in trouble and has been bad he fails to
04:50put his foot down it makes me look like the bad guy she always wants to go to his house
04:54it's making it so hard on me we've had a million conversations about this and absolutely nothing
04:59changes well that's why he likes the attention that he gets from her from not being a good or
05:03decent parent you know because that also comes into play not that he's a bad parent but you're not
05:07really fulfilling your whole role if you can't put your foot down at least every now and then
05:11you also have to show you're raising a child to be a parent one day to be a good adult and if you
05:17don't ever teach them that there are repercussions for what they're doing then what do you think is
05:20going to happen when they grow up and become an adult they're going to screw up way more um i would
05:25say that i think that the best way to co-parent is a lot of communication and um a lot of amnesia
05:34that's that helps because amnesia takes you away from why you broke up because it ain't about your
05:39relationship no more leave all that alone everything she did he did whoever did whatever let that go and
05:46concentrate on the kids communicate over communicate to make sure both of you are on the
05:51same page and if you do that both of you end up on the same page of celebration and of child rearing
05:58so that'll be the best thing i will say if you if it's always fun over there sit down and have a very
06:05non-confrontational conversation about it with your partner and say hey listen you know this is we got
06:12to share you know the wins and awards we got to share the you know the the child rearing and the
06:18celebration and i don't think you're really pulling your part so let me help you point out what we need
06:24because they need it yeah plus it's not fair stop trying to be the fun parent all the time make me look
06:29bad yeah you can't be celebration station and i'm over here being penitentiary much much wrong much wrong
06:35i want to go to daddy's daddy's to turn up spot 888-429-0941 your questions on the other side
06:42hold right now uh somebody just wrote us in the 813 says orlando is wearing his smart pants today oh
06:48you love reading that don't you i don't because i'm offended i'm smart every day yeah how often does
06:55that text come through every day is what i said like it's very funny all right anyway we got your
07:01questions coming in 888-429-0941 uh i think there was a call that you put on yeah we have a anonymous
07:08call all right no names are great when you don't want to have your name tied to what you're gonna say
07:13what we got okay so you guys have worked together for a long time i know you guys have hired new
07:21people imagine bringing somebody else new to the freak show and you're you're cool with them you guys
07:28have established a relationship previously but imagine that person now calling hr on
07:35every single thing that you do that you've done what do you do ah easy distance yourself from that
07:42person immediately physical violence okay first of all i would say in your hypothetical question
07:50is uh are they is it true are there actionable things that are happening because if people work
07:56together for a long time they get comfortable with each other and start saying things that
08:00like you give the benefit of the doubt to somebody who works meredith says loose blue
08:04nasty things to us daily and we would never go turn it in turn it in because we know her heart we know
08:10where she comes from but if somebody else walks into this room and hears her say oh i'm about to go
08:14on the porn site real quick and they would be like what are you doing and we wouldn't even blink an
08:19eye i feel like you're dry snitching yeah i'm telling too much i'm sorry but i'm saying that's
08:24a good example so the people who work together are more comfortable and have earned each other's
08:28trust somebody walk in the door and they're like yo this is just a hotbed for hr we went through that
08:33with somebody like we had somebody who joined the show years ago and was here like a hot cup of coffee
08:38and then left because they were like this is a rot exotic ball what the hell is this and blah blah and they
08:44dipped so it it is it is a thing where it's not just a person being uh salacious or trying to be
08:49like you know like a real dork or whatever you know i'm saying so you got to look at it that way
08:55huh they're trying to take down the top well they want your job and they also might be plotting on
09:01your job trust me we've seen that yes and i mean it's it's a thing you have to move different
09:06you have to know that 100 and that keeps it awkward but no but awkward isn't like doesn't
09:13mean that you can't work awkward just makes it like the job the job is easy when everybody is is
09:19is of like-minded like you know like they're like-minded if everybody's of the same thought
09:23process so it's like put it this way somebody joins a cabinet in the government they come in
09:30they're not going to be the person who's been walking around with that administration and
09:33everything else so in essence you can't really do move like you normally would move because
09:37this person is here now and they have to get up to speed until they do you might have to move a
09:43little different you know like stop you know smacking each other on the butts like it's a
09:46baseball team and all this other stuff the stuff that you did before you kind of got to watch
09:50yourself because there's company here can't you go to the boss or anything yet can't you because
09:54you're a boss or lena don't go no don't take anything higher because honestly wait yeah because
09:59they're going to go to the boss okay and so what you can do is go to the what you can do is go to
10:04your employers and say hey listen everything that you know that we do on the show you know i'm making
10:09sure that i watch it very closely because now we have a new person in here and the comfortable
10:14ability of everything might be something that we want to make sure we curtail because we don't want
10:19this person to get the wrong idea so i'm telling you this ahead of time so we can make sure we get
10:23ahead of it but also appreciate that and probably head off anything that'll go crazy
10:27okay fingers crossed yeah fingers and toes because it sounds like y'all got some nasty
10:34things going on in there okay i appreciate it i got one for dear doby hey hey doby hey doby
10:42four years ago i hooked up with a guy while working out of state fast forward now i've met the love of
10:47my life turns out the random one-time hookup is my current guy's cousin once i realized that they knew
10:55each other i got ahead of it and told my spouse first he said he isn't worried about it and he
11:01won't judge my past he just had to ask me a couple questions about it and i've been very truthful and
11:06he says he was just checking uh what i was gonna say and but he still is insisting it doesn't bother
11:12him do you think he is really bothered by this is there anything i should be doing to make him feel
11:18more secure i mean it's not news you want to hear but it doesn't sound like he's super pressed
11:24about it i say leave it alone you did the right thing it was a long time ago you were open up front
11:30honest i think i say let it go if you keep bringing it up or is if there's something you could do there's
11:35nothing you could do nothing but time will will help this leave it alone if he brings it up then you
11:42know answer his questions and move forward with it but keep don't keep going back to the well and
11:48like and is are you okay are you sure you want to talk about it no he don't want to talk about it
11:52just leave it alone okay totally great answer right there we just got one in did you see that one
11:58that last one that just came in the one out at 863 uh yes uh yeah i was getting ready to read it
12:03that says uh i listen to you guys all the time i decided i wanted your input um uh on your combo
12:08this morning so i need some advice from i find myself this must be a voice to text i find myself
12:15extremely attractive i know you guys do because i get hit on online i get compliments from the other
12:23beautiful women but in person i don't get hit on and i don't know why uh i'm also not a person that
12:29is going to shoot my shot how do i find someone that likes me but i don't have to approach them
12:36and go through dating sites so this person wants to be approached they don't want to be the aggressor
12:42right they're found attractive but nobody is shooting a shot maybe they're too hot sometimes
12:47so that's a little off-putting maybe they don't want to say that you know what these days girls
12:51are shooting their shots so maybe you're gonna have to put yourself out there you have to put
12:54yourself in approachable situations too you have to make it where okay you're not gonna approach
13:01somebody but maybe be in a situation where somebody sees you or you can kind of do some
13:06non-verbal things you can't just expect prince charming to come swoop you out of nowhere it's
13:13not gonna that's your parents failing you right there yeah even even if it's like a flirty little
13:18glance or maybe like a little brush on the shoulder or something you have to compromise just a little
13:26bit oh i got an analogy it's a smart day i got my smart pants all right a pilot lands a plane
13:32is she the pilot of the plane or the runway y'all don't stop undermining my brilliance
13:39a pilot lands a plane right but somebody clears the runway that's just as important as the pilot
13:45we give all the credit to the pilot but there are people who working together you might not want to
13:49shoot the shot clear the runway for somebody to shoot the shot it's just kind of what davi was saying
13:54so think about it that way you don't have to be the aggressor but clear the path for somebody to
13:59do that maybe make yourself available go to those common places go to some places you might like the
14:04guy if you like guys with sports go to the bucks game if you like guys go to the hockey game do
14:08something clear the pathway for somebody to say hey you're good looking man and ain't you interested
14:13in what i'm interested in then they shoot their shot make it do the assist you ain't got to hit the
14:18game-winning shot pass the ball and you know that was brilliant that was good like i just messed it up
14:24but you look ha ha you know how they say like the majority of communication is like body language
14:30yes maybe you're giving off unapproachable vibes and not even knowing it maybe you're kind of like
14:35like resting b-face that yeah exactly if you're maybe a little bit more bubbly a little bit more
14:42smiley yeah maybe somebody will talk to you don't go out with like seven girls i would say maybe just
14:47like one or two chicks that way you it's easier to that is true too don't go out with a big circle
14:52because a big circle give them too many options yes yeah if you over there giving off difficult
14:56vibes right the whorish one that's two clicks over is a lot better option yeah get your fugly friend
15:00and don't hit up that happy hour there's the advice the best brilliant advice here from the
15:07every Thursday that's why we brilliant right there therapy Thursday is here just for that help all right
15:14let's go
15:14let's go